Islamic Manners #08

Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah Mia Eva mousseline

Madhu rasool Allah is Allah Allahu Allahu Allah, Allah He was seldom does even cathedral cathedral, Hama Babu, my brothers and sisters, I am probably

back backtracking a little bit

on the manner of conversation on

to the art of listening and I think that's very important.

So the chef says so as if a person starts telling you something, whether you're alone or in the company of others, something that you already know very well, you should pretend as if you do not know it, do not rush to reveal your knowledge or to interfere with the speech. Instead, show your attention and concentration. The Honorable Davi Imam at Abbey, Abbey Raba, he said, a young man will tell me something that I may have heard before he was born.

Nonetheless, I listened to him as if I had never heard it before.

Now on the sat on a side note from myself, I also tried to do this for a couple of reasons. One is, because you don't want to embarrass the other person, especially with elderly people, we have a issue with memory. And we short term memory is not good, long term memory is good, which means that the incident itself which we are talking about, remember very clearly, but whether or not I told you this thing before I would not remember. So

I usually start by saying, I hope I have not told you this before, if I did, please stop me. But never stop the person never do that. And if somebody just tells you something, even though they may not have this preamble of, you know, if I

if I if you heard this before, as well, doesn't matter.

Act as if you are hearing it for the first time. Because this is from the beautification of manners. This is from keeping the dignity of the individual. And usually it's elderly people, because, you know, people of your father's age, grandfather's age and so on grandparents

keeping their dignity and remember, they will come when you will have the same thing. And at that time somebody says, Have I said it before, it's a you This is told this told us this 20 times before No, this is very rude, do not show that you know something. The second reason why i

i Do not interrupt people, especially now the the incident that

should have Shehata robot said

if a young person tells me something, and I've noticed,

another good reason is because I may know the incident itself, which the person is talking about. But if I listen to the young person narrating that incident, I'm getting a lot of information about how they see today,

how that incident appears to them or appeals to them or does not appeal to them today. And that is very good feedback in in terms of learning to know the new generation, the present generation, the current generation, so that you will not get just from the story. So yes, I know the story. But

let me listen to this person telling me the same story in the manner in which this person tells me that story will tell me something about the story. So I think this is another very important reason to listen to people even though you may have heard the story before.

To continue, Khalid bin Salman Al Tamimi, who frequented the courts of the two Khalifa as Omar bin Abdulaziz and a sham. When Abdul Malik he said if a person tells you something you have heard before or knew that you already learned do not interrupt him to exhibit your knowledge to those present. This is rude and ill mannered.

Also, it is a form of RIA of showing off

the honorable Imam Abdullah bin Wahab hora de el mas three a companion of Imam Malika lays even Assad and Allah authority. He said some times a person will tell me a story that I've heard before his parents got married.

Yet I listened to it as if I have never heard it before. Eva I even love Junaid

Raja Lolly Lally with rain, all these people may limit visitors he said a wise man said to his son learn the art of listening as you learn the art of speaking and this is something so critically important. And this has never taught this is the problem. Lots of public speaking classes and so on and so forth. And you know how to do this how to do that but

the

the key thing is not to

I

mean, obviously, you know, let us say

public speaking is important. I won't say it's not important, but much more important than public speaking, is listening. Because listening gives you a sense of what the what the the world is trying to say to you what what the person was speaking to what they're really trying to say to you. And this is a key influence and a key should be a key influence in what you say to the person.

Listening while may means maintaining eye contact, allowing the speaker to finish the sentence, and restating your urge to interrupt the speech

I'll have is unhealthy will bother the he said in a porn in a poem, never interrupt a talk, though you know it inside out. So, these are some important things in terms of listening.

To other things I want to mention one is

to listen, to be able to actually listen here listening is different from hearing, hearing is just the sound, you know, entering your years

listening is to understand that is to

is to benefit from it. That happens if you do two things. One is if we

have a genuine interest in what is being said. So this interest sometimes happens automatically other times it has to be manufactured. So be very clear, have genuine interest in what is being said. So that's the first part of listening. And the second part of listening is to

tell yourself that, and the second part relates to the first part, how will you develop a genuine interest by telling yourself that it is entirely likely very possible that I will benefit from this statement.

And this is the truth. I mean, of course you will benefit from the statement is just that we need to, you know, sort of sort of convinced ourselves. So make sure that we listen and listen carefully. And then we take the net, we take it forward, right. And you will be surprised how much you will actually benefit. If you listen carefully. Then we come to discussions and debates.

Here the sheriff says if you have trouble understanding some of what has been said in a meeting, hold your questions until the speaker has finished.

The best way to do that is to keep notes. Because if you don't keep notes, then the chances are that you will

that you will, you know

you will forget what was said and all you will be misunderstood. You misunderstand it because you forget it. And this is something which is obviously very detrimental. So make sure that you keep notes. And then at the end, you ask questions. Now the important thing is that many times

we

we

when we keep notes, way, many times what happens is that we

the speaker for example, I'm sorry, I'm getting interrupted.

Many times the speaker will say please stop me at any time. Ask me whatever you want. Now, if it's the kind of workshop format, that is okay. But usually if it is not a workshop format, if it is a

if it's a lecture that even if the speakers have stopped me, don't stop them because it breaks their line of thinking that their line of speech, keep notes and then at the end of the speech, you say, Well, you know, this is what you said, and this is my question. So it's very, it's not just polite, it's also you know, it's good to to understand what was being said many times also what happens and I've seen this many times in my own experience.

A question may arise, but five minutes later, that question gets answered in the same speech because the speaker would have would cover that area. So they may not even be necessary to ask the question at all. So be very clear. And then he says gently, politely and with a proper introduction, ask for clarification. Do not interrupt a person's speech. never raise your voice with a question or be blunt to draw attention to yourself. This is contrary to the proper manner of listening and it stirs up contempt. However, this is not the rule of the meat if the meeting is for Study and Learning. As I said, if it's a workshop, it's if it's a class that's different than you can ask. In such a case

asking questions and initiating a discussion is desirable, but must be conducted respectfully and tactfully only after the speaker finishes

Khalifa al Mahmoud. He said discussion and trenches knowledge much more than mere agreement and hate them if they are the great scholar historian remember the court of for Khalifa Abu Jafar, Al Mysore, Al Mahdi, Al Hadi, and our machines, he said, It is

ill mannered to overwhelm someone while speaking and to interrupt him before he ends his talk.

If a colleague did not understand an issue and asked a scholar or an elder to explain, you should listen to what is being said. The repeated explanation may give you additional insights to what you already know never utter a any word belittling your colleague, nor allow Your face to betray such attitude. When an elder or scholar speaks. Listen attentively, never busy yourself with a talk or discussion with other colleagues. Do not let your mind wander elsewhere. Keep it focused on what is being said. never interrupt a speaker never rush to answer if you are not very confident of your answer. Never argue about something you do not know. Never argue for the sake of argument. Never

show arrogance with your counterparts especially if they hold a different opinion. Do not switch the argument to belittle your opponent's views if their misunderstanding becomes evident. Do not review or scold them. Be modest, unkind. A boy once said who could be who could get me a friend who if I offend will remain calm, who will listen or listen intently to what I have to say when he knows it better than I do.

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