Grow up

Mirza Yawar Baig

Date:

Channel: Mirza Yawar Baig

File Size: 12.89MB

Episode Notes

Share Page

Transcript ©

AI generated text may display inaccurate or offensive information that doesn’t represent Muslim Central's views. Thus,no part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

00:00:00--> 00:00:02

filarmonica Rahim Al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen

00:00:03--> 00:00:13

wa salatu salam ala Shafi Gambia Eva mousseline, Muhammad Rasulullah, sallallahu alayhi wa alayhi wa sallam this live on cathedral, cathedral Conrado

00:00:14--> 00:00:16

my brothers and sisters

00:00:21--> 00:00:26

we all start in the same place when we are born. as infants

00:00:27--> 00:00:29

where we are helpless,

00:00:31--> 00:00:41

we need somebody to take care of us. If the infant is uncared for the parents are not there, the parents don't take care of the infant, it will die. Simple as that.

00:00:43--> 00:00:57

So we do the infants mindset is I need an external force to help me or my needs are fulfilled by somebody outside of me, mother of other women.

00:00:59--> 00:01:34

But as we grow older, the situation changes. We no longer need somebody else to satisfy our needs. We are capable of satisfying them ourselves. So as you grow, and happens quite early on, even a toddler can do some things for himself. Once the child is five, six years old, he can do much more today we live in a world where thanks to our ridiculous system of education and even more ridiculous parenting. All we do is we delay childhood.

00:01:36--> 00:01:37

We delay maturity.

00:01:39--> 00:01:39

Right?

00:01:41--> 00:01:54

Just go to the villages in our countries, at least I don't know what America but if you go to India, for example, you go to the villages see the kind of work that small kids do even here. If you go to the

00:01:55--> 00:01:56

Amish people

00:01:57--> 00:02:23

and see how they work. See how little kids four or five years old child he has responsibility on the farm. He takes care of chickens or something and when he did with all the heater, he does something else. I was in in one of the Amish farms in Pennsylvania. And there was one kid he must have been maybe you're six years old. He was selling horseshoes. So he was sitting there with a little table.

00:02:24--> 00:02:51

So they were all painted silver. So I asked him I said do you have one which is not pay I don't like this super paint. He said give me a minute. Then you run and they run around barefoot right? They don't wear shoes and stuff. So he ran barefoot into the house he brought me one horse shoe without says that how much is $3 and obviously is hugely overpriced where little kids shop so I gives you those. So I said what happens when you if you are not sharing who's who takes care of is our partners, your partner.

00:02:54--> 00:03:09

So who's a Partner? He points with these partners half his size, so that this kid is maybe about six that came up your forehead at the most right? Is that That's my brother, he's my partner. So when he goes away the partner since then, they have a sense of responsibility.

00:03:11--> 00:03:15

But come to the cities. We've got a 20 year old who's a boy

00:03:18--> 00:03:31

25 year old he's staying at home free food from mom that pays the bills. He's got a nice fancy phone with Dad bought for him. He's got drives a nice fancy car with that bought for him. The gas in it, the dad pays for the whole thing.

00:03:33--> 00:03:35

And then you ask the Father, where is your son? I don't know.

00:03:37--> 00:03:46

How she's grown up, pay for him, you you you've for every morsel of food he eats he needs you. You don't know where he is. That's the culture. No, he went somewhere.

00:03:47--> 00:03:48

What is it somewhere?

00:03:49--> 00:04:11

Ross was specifically instructed he said if you leave your home and go somewhere, tell your people where you are. When you reach there tell them that you have you know not tell them when you read with average those days. When you come tell them give some give them some indication and going for two hours I'm going for you know I'm going I will come back after 10 days or whatever tell them

00:04:14--> 00:04:19

so we delay childhood and the result is that we have adults

00:04:21--> 00:04:24

40 year or a body with four year old minds.

00:04:27--> 00:05:00

Now how does this transfer in psychology and transaction analysis there is we haven't we actually have a term for this we call it the the child parent child ego state Eric Bern the author of transactional analysis of psychology and counseling he created these three kinds of ego states he says child ego, state parent ego state and adult ego state. So this relationship of expecting the outside world to solve my problems is called the parent child ego state. The parent child ego state is

00:05:00--> 00:05:11

It is okay when you are a child meaning you have you are actually physically dependent on parents but it's not okay when you are your age or my age or your you know like your 20s or your teens is not okay it's ugly.

00:05:12--> 00:05:29

So, what happens is that when the person grow older they transfer the parent parent is a parent is anyone with authority so, when you are a little baby the parent is actually the parent It's the mother or the father maybe a foster parent, but once they grow older,

00:05:30--> 00:05:38

this parent total authority is transferred to anyone outside so it is the boss in the office.

00:05:39--> 00:05:48

It is the government in the masjid it is the budget board or the Imam and so now problem with that is anything happens it is there what

00:05:49--> 00:06:00

is never my fault How do you the best way to find out if a person has matured or not? Is listen to the conversation ask them a question see who they blame when they speak

00:06:02--> 00:06:06

is how are you Oh you know what to do?

00:06:07--> 00:06:12

Like people hear his cover country is full of Kfar

00:06:14--> 00:06:16

stop for the Helen who told me to come here

00:06:18--> 00:06:30

do what you got here and chance you stood for the whole night in front of the US Consulate or US Embassy in your in your in your country you slept on the on the footpath

00:06:32--> 00:06:33

to get a visa

00:06:35--> 00:06:43

you got a visa you come here you live on welfare. You can work your your bodily good you won't work you live on welfare.

00:06:45--> 00:06:50

Your body is perfect but you find a handicap tag from somewhere and hang it on your car in your pocket in the handicap

00:06:51--> 00:06:55

in the handicap slot tell me if I'm lying to me if I'm telling lies.

00:06:57--> 00:07:06

And then with this welfare money when you go back to your country, you walk like a king. Oh I have a US passport. As if it is a passport or something.

00:07:09--> 00:07:11

Am I telling lies is lies are true.

00:07:14--> 00:07:46

And then you come back here go for country in a lie when there is not even gratitude and you come to this country. You have equal status with anybody in this country. Every university is open to you. Every school is open to you. They give you free education in the university you are allowed to practice your religion freely everywhere you can practice your religion freely. You can you can pray on the pavement you can pray in a parking lot you can pray in McDonald's. You can do you practice your religion you can dress like you and me and nobody bothers you.

00:07:50--> 00:07:53

Right you can have beards nobody just do anything about your beard.

00:07:54--> 00:08:11

Okay they will be the odd little read that somewhere or somebody will say you are but generally speaking, you're welcomed here. Everything is open. Remember a day will come and you and these people and people like this will stand before Allah subhanho Bella's tone

00:08:14--> 00:08:16

and the same people of this country they will say to you,

00:08:17--> 00:08:28

they will say to Allah, they will say Allah you are going to throw me into the fire. Okay, I'm your slim. You want to throw me throwing but tell me this man.

00:08:30--> 00:08:34

He came to my land. He benefit I gave him everything.

00:08:37--> 00:08:42

I give everything. You come here you want to marry a local American Girl. Does anybody stop you?

00:08:46--> 00:09:01

We opened our homes to them. We gave our daughters to them. We gave them jobs. We opened our universities and colleges. We everything you want to stand for election to be the president of America. The only thing that will prevent you if you don't get elected. There is

00:09:03--> 00:09:05

nothing has been there is no law.

00:09:06--> 00:09:16

To say that you cannot stand for election to the White House. Because you have a beard because you are a Muslim but nothing nothing. You are free. You can do it.

00:09:17--> 00:09:26

If you don't get votes that's a different issue but nobody on the face of the on the in this country not nobody in this country will stop you because that is your right as a US citizen.

00:09:27--> 00:09:31

So these people will say they will say we gave them everything

00:09:35--> 00:09:37

but they never introduce you to us

00:09:44--> 00:09:45

they didn't tell us

00:09:47--> 00:09:48

that you are our

00:09:53--> 00:09:56

that one day he will start before you ever told us

00:09:58--> 00:09:59

they took and the hook and the hook

00:10:04--> 00:10:04

What's the answer?

00:10:08--> 00:10:09

We keep blaming the outside world

00:10:11--> 00:10:11

what can we do?

00:10:14--> 00:10:25

Allah's Rhonda said why in doubt don't Hamlet Hola Hola Hola. Soy ha ha Allah says I have given you so many Namath, I've given you so many blessings you cannot even count them.

00:10:27--> 00:10:32

Then what right do you have to say, we are so bad, we are so weak in the Allah

00:10:35--> 00:10:38

Allah says I have given you so much you can't even count

00:10:39--> 00:10:40

and you feel you have nothing

00:10:42--> 00:10:43

you feel you're deprived.

00:10:45--> 00:10:46

So Allah's column is wrong

00:10:57--> 00:10:58

versus just

00:10:59--> 00:11:04

a loss rather in this life, he gave us our destiny in our hands.

00:11:06--> 00:11:08

And this is right what you want.

00:11:09--> 00:11:11

You want to be happy.

00:11:13--> 00:11:17

You want to have power, right? You want to be miserable, right?

00:11:18--> 00:11:21

No problem. Whatever you write Allah give you

00:11:25--> 00:11:26

how hard

00:11:28--> 00:11:33

you want it, you have to work for it. There is only one thing which comes just by waiting.

00:11:34--> 00:11:39

Only nothing you have to do, it will come without any effort. Just by waiting you know what that is.

00:11:40--> 00:11:42

But that's

00:11:43--> 00:11:44

death.

00:11:45--> 00:11:50

To die over, you need to not do anything. Just wait one day will die.

00:11:52--> 00:11:54

Everything else needs effort.

00:11:57--> 00:12:04

What unless I live in sunny Illamasqua college I love that there is nothing for a human being except what he was for.

00:12:07--> 00:12:08

That applies to the UK and applies here also.

00:12:13--> 00:12:17

It's a beautiful idea because what does it mean? It means that anything you work for Allah will give you

00:12:18--> 00:12:29

fantastic, usually about right. Whatever you work for Allah will give you we are seeing this even with those who do not believe in Allah, who deny Allah Subhana

00:12:31--> 00:12:40

Allah is giving them why because they are working for it. It's not magic, it doesn't come to them from the heavens. They work for it. They work day and night for it. You know this, I know this

00:12:44--> 00:12:45

same rule applies to us also.

00:12:46--> 00:12:48

You want something you want to work for.

00:12:49--> 00:12:58

And that will come when we own authority for ourselves. When we become adults, we need to grow up. This child parent mindset will not get us anywhere.

00:12:59--> 00:13:01

It has long gone

00:13:05--> 00:13:13

we ask Allah subhanaw taala to help us to understand our responsibility and to take charge of our lives. And not only to worry about ourselves but to worry about others

00:13:14--> 00:13:19

strain ourselves and help others to connect with Allah subhanaw taala

00:13:21--> 00:13:25

so that we are not faced with this terrible situation when other day of judgment we start before Allah

00:13:26--> 00:13:33

and then you won't know which way to look with the man will say we give them everything they didn't introduce. Now you're going to put me to Johanna, what about him?

00:13:36--> 00:13:37

What do we say?

00:13:41--> 00:13:45

Tomorrow I'll tell you a true story about decision to the hotline Avintia

00:13:47--> 00:13:50

was on Allah Allah will give you Allah He was I remember I had to go away