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Marriage 04 Marriage Proposal Part 3

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Karim Abuzaid

Channel: Karim Abuzaid

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kondalilla

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mahamadou who want to start you wanna start film?

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One hour

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fusina on Surya Dr. Medina

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Maja de la who fellow mobile Allah,

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woman you, fella, the Allah.

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Wa shadow Allah, Allah Allah Allahu Allahu la sharika wash had one now Mohammedan Aveda, who wore a suit of

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my brothers and sisters in Islam Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

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This is the fourth lecture of the series, love marriage and divorce.

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And like we always mentioned, the name is just an attraction. But in reality, we're talking about

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how to boot a Muslim family together from the start, and how can you make it function. And what happens if it doesn't function then a good way out, which is divorce.

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We spoke in the last lecture about the types of women

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a person should be keen on proposing to, or seeking for spouses, seeking for wives, and also the type of men, the sisters should be keen on, basically accepting their marriage proposal,

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certainly in a mutual decision, based on the Sharia with their worry,

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because they are the right people.

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We spoke about the women with the religion, the women with the religion. And we cover this actually in the last lecture. And we want to continue today. And we have a very wealthy lecture today. So I would like to rush quickly, and possibly, inshallah cover what I intended to cover tonight. The second type of women, a person who's seeking marriage should go for Alma to be

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a virgin women,

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a woman who has not been married before.

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What is the wisdom behind this brothers and sisters in Islam is the fact that a married woman, or a woman who has a previous marriage, she will always compare you to her previous husband. In every aspects, she will always say my previous husband used to do this. He used to take me in that place. And this normally brings some sort of the resentment inside the heart of a husband. So we say, Do not

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go for such a woman who has been married before. But again, it is recommended. We're not saying it's haram to marry a woman who has been married before. And I'm actually going to give you an example tonight, which states that it is actually in some cases much better to have a woman who has been married before and I'll give you a very fascinating story in our sooner in this era of our righteous companions.

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The second reason or the second wisdom, why we should not go after women who had who basically has been married before is the are normally not as fresh for marriage. They had an experience before and she probably been divorced, so she doesn't matter if she gets divorced once more. But normally a woman who is married for the first time, she is normally keen on keeping that relationship and make it live. Those are two wisdoms behind this top on the evidence that we have for this Hadith, Jabir ibn Abdullah of the Allah one Houma, Rasul Allah Holly wa sallam, and really I have to tell you the story, the whole story, and then we'll get to the evidence out of this. Rasul sallallahu alayhi wa

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sallam, or Jared actually Jani what it had in

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fisi Allah novella, Amanda Debbie Rahim Allah

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basically the night of the Battle of

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the night of the Battle of offered Satan Abdullah haddenham keen to his son Jeff

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For Karla huya, when he said to him my son in the arani, our Luma youth delfy had in Morocco, I can see, or I can tell that I will be one of the first people who will be killed in the Battle of Orford and I have nine girls had a seven figure way to offer at nine and seven,

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nine daughters. And Jabba was the only boy jabber was the only son But Satan, Abdullah Haram, the father of Java, he had nine daughters, and I have nine daughters. So I would like you to take care of them. What are they here that you and I have a debt. I would like you to also pay it.

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Look, later on.

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Say Edna Jabir ibn Abdullah about the alarm on human Satan, Abdullah did die. He was one of the people who died in the Battle of forefoot. Then basically, he saved Nigeria later on. He was coming back from one of the battles and the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam was one of the last people

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coming out of the battle. Basically, he was checking if anybody anybody behind and check in the army that they leave anything that they forget anything for his soldier ahead of him holding a stick and he's beating his camel. And he's upset Mazda Li now. What an awful camel. The camel doesn't even want to move for an episode of love audio, because it was dark color. men had men had sakala who jabber jabber Abdullah Ravi Allahumma he said, Jared will be Abbey Antonio rasulillah This is jabesh. And so halala in an earlier event or incident, jabber went to the house of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and he knocked on the door. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam

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asked who is outside? Jabba said Anna.

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Anna, me the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam did not like it. Anna Anna, how do I know who I mean? If somebody's knocking on the door, and then you tell who is it you tell me? Does this make sense to you? For Paula Anna Anna Anna vegetto says I learned that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam disliked it. You see the next time when he said Who is this? What did they say? They say Anna? He said what jabil the IBM tomio Rasool Allah. He said What is wrong with ujet Kala Rasul Allah in the Hadith.

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I just got married, and I would like to make it back to my wife in order to spend some time with her Jani. The honeymoon is not over yet but yet he went out for a

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soheila some Muslims now the suppiler Allah there is some schoolers who say that if somebody gets married, he he doesn't have to pray in the masjid for a week.

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He will

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give it him but also give him the license that he doesn't have to bring knowledge

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for a whole week.

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Malaika humble, humble.

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humble. You are in the morning of his of his wedding he went out and he did not even take his time to take his whistle. And he was killed in the Battle of offered I believe also Subhana Allah the angels will Washington for heroes Japanese saying them trying to make it back

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to Salem ask him

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what kinds of women did you get married to? Carla sakala what type who did you get married to color a moon middle Medina LA. He alma allottee mata Ana de la allottee. To live a woman who is whose husband died or a woman whose basically

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is we got divorced from her husband, la la la Ba ba ba ba ba

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ba ba ba ba ba

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ba ba ba ba, ba ba,

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ba ba ba D la desert. finale sallallahu alayhi wa sallam here it is Carla Who here is the shadow. That is why we're not eating the whole scene. The whole event. Han Allah who and the Quran, Allah. Allah evoke

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the holy, why didn't you marry a virgin? A virgin will give you a good treatment young basically she will treat you will for Karla Rasool Allah chef, a chef

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had a look at this generation sakala rasulillah. He said O Messenger of Allah, in Abbey taraka Lee, this Abernathy and

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my father lifts for me nine little girls. It is not befitting for me to go and bring another basically girl to be with them. Rather I want a mother.

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I want a woman who can take you, Chef. Look at the look at the the look at this type of people. Yeah. And he sacrificed his own his own pleasure, his own basically

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wishes in order to take care of his sisters and to fulfill that we'll see of his father, his shadow The important thing that saved Nigeria, Abdullah Ravi Allahumma in his case right here, that is the woman who was married before is much better for his case for Yes, the recommendation that you marry a woman who is virgin, but in some cases you may not be able financially to some of the brothers they cannot afford virgins because they are normally higher in

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price, especially these days. It's like a stock market. You know, the women like how much this word and

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which RV and it's not as easy as it used to be filmer is a biani mahogany. The woman who has been married before her her wage, I'm sorry, her grandma her dowry normally is what is down a little bit fair enough in any any case, yeah, not in every case. The third

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type of woman whom you should seek for married is Tessa Waterloo elude a woman who can give you children. This is a key and Rasul sallallahu wasallam. And I stress this, in this hadith he combined being loving, with a child being

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ill with will help

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because when you marry a woman and you see that you have children with her, this normally brings affection amongst you, because you see the child out there that is out of that relationship fell with the loving and childbearing normally combined. So as soon as you have children from that woman, you begin feeling for her. That is why I was also lavalieres. Allah mentioned that, while hard is a fragile amount of

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evenness, I have not abandoned it and I said no Malik of It must not matter. It doesn't work world war two that one would marry the loving the child beating women. Why should anyone care from the common omana? Yo man I am, because I will be proud of you because of your numbers and the deficit reduction. So whenever you have children as well as Muslims, you really fulfilling the wish of the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam, basically having the oma increasing, increasing the oma in numbers. And this goes to a lot of the brothers who marry and then he goes after his wife and tell her you cannot have children because my income is not enough, or because I don't and even I hear some cases

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I hear some cases that the wife would get pregnant and then the husband wants her to do Subhanallah a portion which is haram in our religion.

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Our religion bans us from doing this. So we commit the Haram because he's afraid that Allah subhanaw taala will not provide basically for him and for his children. When Allah Subhana Allah says in the Quran, Allah, Allah Doku Sasha m la luna Zhu Zhu homeboy

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Min emla No, no, no.

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Do not kill your children for fear of poverty, we will provide for you and we will provide for them also that goes to the sisters some systems these days. As soon as she gets the first baby and she sees that her body has stretched out then she goes after the husband. I cannot have any babies anymore. I'm losing my finger. I'm gaining weight. I gotta you know Okay, come on. Come on. Don't do this. For anymore. Catherine. De komen. Oh mama yo Kiana. We also mentioned one more recommendation

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which is released they have their own ama we don't have a clear text regarding this issue that a person must try to marry from outside the family and I don't mean outside the country but outside the family. Why? Because of the broth in the proven or diseases of that comes because of inheritance head aka antibiotic this

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holiday for I know certain key

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is in our national Roger has always been

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slow to marry your cousin in Islam, not like in this country, it's lawful you can do the session because he married to his cousin, he has to change the whole blood of his son every month, he would go to the hospital. But this is odd cases young is not the only halacha is not like every single manager. So the brothers who are married to cousins, they shouldn't like worry. But there are some cases that the children inherit some sort of genetic diseases from basically their ancestors. The other wisdom behind this is when there is a divorce. Let's say that you married your cousin

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or your

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cousin that means that your uncle

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his or his Achilles his skins do now if he divorces though,

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is the relationship between you and your uncle is gonna stay the same? No, there is will always be what? So it leads you and Mr. Wagner said that it leads to the basically the severing of the kids. But if you go and marry somebody from out of town, who is not a family member,

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and then you divorce her house, the relationship between you and her, and maybe the father, that's the bottom line, but he's still maintaining a close relationship with the rest of your family. Also a Navy SEAL allowed to sell him one last recommendation, he said, marry the women who are beautiful, who has beauty now as curliness era, don't go and marry someone who is not beautiful when you're going to go in the raw and looking around to other women who are beautiful. Yeah, and if you can find a woman who has religion, and at the same time, she has beauty, physical beauty. So they're now asking enough when you have a beautiful woman in your house, hello siani this is going to help you

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to work to lower your gaze. With this before the law we have completed this segment of the lecture, which is marrying simply that certain types of women. Now let's begin something new, which is very interesting, but it's in a way a lot of fear. But I think it's needed, you need to understand this, especially if you're a father, who have children, especially if you're about to get married, and you want to get married. I want to talk about

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the rulings once it comes to marriage proposal.

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The first thing either

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if

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you're an if you want

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to grow bows to a women,

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what should you do?

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Make sure that you look at her first.

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Before you even speak to the wedding. That's actually ideal.

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This is ideal. But in some cases, this is not possible. If the system is waiting,

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then it's impossible. Or if she's out of town.

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You're you know you it's not easy for you to go and find a way to look at her. But in general, you're supposed to look at this woman.

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Now, what is the evidence for this? We have three Hadeeth and more actually, how do you feel our little movie Rob? nashoba rhodiola one Well, how do you say what Tell me do you have no magic mahira Sahabi a companion of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he came

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and he said your rasulillah hakab to Moroccan mineral answer for Korean Navy sallallahu alayhi wa sallam I came to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and I said to him I got engaged or I brew booze to a women from an answer for para una de la la la to Santa oboe, LA. Look at her for in a hora

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de un yoke Dana Dana Kuma. If you look at her, see how she looks. This will help to maintain your relationship with her in the future. We have also the second evidence howdy Jared Nabila, rhodiola hanamaki, mustard, wasabi, where the Prophet sallallahu wasallam says either hapa hadoo Kumar,

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Tara era, an era in

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elearning

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if one of you, proposes to a woman, and he's able to see from her, what will motivate him to finally get married to her, let him do it.

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So you need to find something in her that will drive you will motivate you to get married with her

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Now a little after the third 30 Hello Hadith Mohammed muslimah raviolo Juan

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Carlos sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, either el Kala who has his own agenda to be married in Tibet, a Moroccan fella that said a young boy Elijah, if Allah Subhana Allah cast into the hearts of any of you, the wish the world the need, the desire, whatever word you use here, to Bravos to this women Bravo's into this women then there is no harm to look at her.

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Like I explained, ideally, this should happen before even token to the valley.

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And this is not Haram.

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Okay, this is not what hora provided that you fulfill those four conditions.

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Our salary is what is so accurate.

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There are four conditions that you must have in order to go around and look at women.

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Because maybe it was some of our youth either Well, I'm gonna go look around and then I'm trying to propose to the women law there are four conditions.

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Number one, as soon as the man holla nica

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I am determined to get married

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it's not like Well, I'm thinking about it. You know like they say the baby he has a determined intention to get married he's looking for a wife to begin with. If this is not his intention that women were easy I coulda daddy's earlier which said look look look right look look look linear last leaf another a by default looking is what

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is what Come on. Look at

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me Nina. Yo boo, till the believing men to lower their gaze till they're believing women to lower their gaze.

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Whenever Salah Lavanya sent me a food and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, Well I knew tesni was in

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another and the eyes, the eye commits adultery. And it does commit adultery by looking for by default looking is haram.

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Sharia, why are you looking is haram to begin with.

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Why? What is the wisdom behind Lukens Hara?

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Said den liberi. Zina

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because looking is a means to commit adultery

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lindfield violin piano when you know what it acts upon Allah, Allah Allah mean Allah subhanaw taala Thai and

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mina boomin Abu Salim wiaa fabu till the deleting one min to lower their gaze and to guard their private parts. I never heard that somebody looks at a woman and then he goes on comments about theater impossible Yeah, unless they're workers, but normally a look then a smile

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then a text message then a Facebook now then an email then a meeting and it takes some time but everything started with what

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so looking was made haram to block the means to

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to adultery.

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Now we have said the marina said the Lydia Yuba, little masala

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whatever was made

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to block the means of something haram

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can be made permissible because of what of a Muslim

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looking in itself is not the new back. A woman who's selling and buying by the way you could look at her

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as a woman who goes to the core to bear witness is a rabbit and Moroccan a child of poverty and cadila

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and when I asked you a question I need to look at your eyes If you lie I'm not gonna lie or at least the eyes is the mirror of the person. Sometimes you look at the person and it goes like this you know he's lying right away.

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In these situations looking then becomes what permissible but looking at it in itself is not really haram but it is made haram to block the means for what? For adultery for if you do not have the intention.

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Shin that determine intention that you want to get married, then these locks, which you're going to give to these women are considered to be what? This is number one. So condition number one, I'm going to quiz you on those condition number one, you must have what a determined intention that you want to work to get married. Now, number two,

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la akuna. Another attallah denwa. lm, yada, yada, yada, don't look at yourself.

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Look at those. Look at those eyes. Yes.

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But nobody is telling you want to see how beautiful her eyes is. But you don't look at her while you're enjoying this.

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Not not desirous, not a devilish look, okay? Not a sick carclo rather, it's a liquid that you're trying to explore how she is number three,

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do the heavy halwa condition number three, your wife your parents this stuff is ABC. If you are if you have girls, this is ABC. If you have girls who are up for marriage, this is ABC you need to be aware of this stuff. That is why we have divorce in our own way that the ratio of divorce is up because their whole relationship started at the Oh disobedience of Allah because when you violate this, you're disobeying Allah when the relationship the marriage is not blessed to begin with.

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Number three, it cannot be done the look in between you and her cannot be in a hallway it has to be in a public place. Of course, I mentioned a minute ago that you should do this before what before you actually contact the village This is ideal, how are you going to do this? You have to be in a public place. And you have to sit and see and and so forth. But you cannot like find out in a place by yourself and you look at her. This could lead to adultery. Number four, condition number four young boy in

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a another era. He only gets to look what is permitted to look at what's Universidad. We're going to answer this question how much a person who wants to propose to a woman can see of her in order to propose

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another Cuba we will detail the boundaries on which a person who is proposing is supposed to look at the woman

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that he had he Let's begin with this

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What did the jury say? Fear How do they know Elon Musk Uber so you remember the four conditions that you must have in order to look what was number one you have to

00:27:59--> 00:28:11

determine in question number two, not the last look number three Come on. Nothing Nothing seclusion it must be done in what in public number four, you look at what

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what you're permitted to look at. And we're gonna answer this one right now. What are you permitted to look at? A woman before you propose to her? Are you supposed to see her private part? Are you supposed to see her side? What are you supposed to see? Exactly?

00:28:33--> 00:28:36

The Face your ideal then I got really nervous.

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You know how long it took me to figure this out? An hour and a half? listener.

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outcome?

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Here it is. Elvis is included. To make you happy. Okay. His face is one of them. Okay.

00:28:56--> 00:28:59

No, no hard feelings. Okay. All right.

00:29:03--> 00:29:08

Stella foofy had illness Allah Allah, Allah to do the Judas different regarding this issue.

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And they categorize their differing into three types. Sinn foodshed

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one of them that they were rigid, they said nothing. You look at her face, end of story.

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Nothing.

00:29:27--> 00:29:39

Just the face. Hollis had a shed rigid. The other one loose. They said Oh, you can see her will send her to the beach and you can go ahead and you know, take a look

00:29:40--> 00:29:42

at a Kowloon shed.

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Yonhap.

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Allah to

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discuss this is not even subject to debate or finding evidence for it. Dr. Nicole abnormal left

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Watson from tawassul

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And the third type they are right in the middle. lonely. Yeah and they cannot balance the two views but in spite of them being in the middle, but they different still

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shafia whenever we leave me Chef awanui Paula young lol wedgie welcome

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you're only allowed to look at the face and caffeine the two hands abounds yet once we say hands we do not mean what we mean what some Olmedo.

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This will not mean the arm we mean what this area licola hidayatullah whether you be Dena Xena tahuna illa Mahara min and they are not to show their beauty except that which is shown already parallel agema Jani the Judas Mahara minha Romina college wall Cafe is that the face and the two hands

00:31:01--> 00:31:10

our hanifa added one more Rahim Allah He says a jazz and Navara era what he will say any world

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that you get to see your feet

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so face hands and what feet but what feet I mean what feet until What?

00:31:22--> 00:31:36

The ankle had a whole Eliana Mr. fathia that not to lift her Claudia to see her feet from below. Merrick has a different view and watch the world cafe in

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the face and the hand and

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Elliot yonezawa name she Michelle Michelle caffeine does odd Jani he added

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the IANA not the whole hand. The hand generally

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for you

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in a manner when

00:32:04--> 00:32:10

they say may have you been min her mama Harry me her

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what she normally shows in front of her hair in front of her father. front of her brother.

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Were some and he named

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and watch the face of cafe, the two balls, alpha male, the legs and he added the neck and the heels.

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From this, you see that the consensus amongst the jurists is on what

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illegible cafe.

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That's our origin. And this is the way that we deliver knowledge. And as students of knowledge we're supposed to teach you how to lose

00:33:02--> 00:33:26

the view of the jurors let's see an apology. I tell you and I say this a lot. And this is not my also my statement actually the statement of a lot of the jurors and not so much when I was a has enough evidence the view of Lima will say is more legitimate. Why?

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To begin with

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the Prophet here in this hadith he told Muhammad masala often Mohammed minimus lemma o Jagger to look we'll move on to look

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Mahamaya D for sure looked correct. Because any woman what shows from her

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the face and the hand. So look at what

00:33:55--> 00:34:09

for you in in those two Howdy, Jagger actually and Mohammed ignoramus lemma they actually hide themselves somewhere to look up if you're gonna look at the face and the two hands do you need to hide?

00:34:11--> 00:34:13

So here makes sense.

00:34:14--> 00:34:16

Do you need to hide? You do not need to hide?

00:34:17--> 00:34:21

You I mean, if Linda Len had asked Filmora

00:34:24--> 00:34:47

mokulua the woman is our accepted woodworker fine, except the hand and the two phases. I'm sorry, the two hands on the face. A little bones Jani and the face for a convenient height to look at the women. What is he trying to look at? For sure he's trying to get more than this. Yeah. And he had a howdy howdy Jagger that I just quoted earlier to

00:34:49--> 00:34:59

low, low audio seldom said either hapa hadoo komamura if one of you get engaged to a woman and he's able to look at her family

00:35:00--> 00:35:03

I look at this for hot tomorrow.

00:35:04--> 00:35:09

I Bravo's to a woman for spoon to Debbie

00:35:10--> 00:35:19

had a two Min hamadani ella Anika what is Weijia? fellow Sahaba

00:35:20--> 00:35:37

I propose to a woman and I used to hide somewhere in order to find her what will motivate me to Bravos and to marry her. But remember my brother's all of this has to do with the For what?

00:35:39--> 00:35:43

For what restrictions Materazzi the Tibetans have

00:35:44--> 00:35:55

proposed in law you must be determined. It must be in public. You only look at what you're supposed to look at. Also coronary sallallahu wasallam

00:35:56--> 00:35:58

Coronavirus Allah Allah Allah

00:35:59--> 00:36:30

May Allah Bhatia out as Weijia Nevis Allah Allah and said, Look at her to find in her, what will motivate you. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would have named Look at her face. Look at her hand if this is the case, but he made it what unrestricted you're supposed to find in the women. What will motivate you to boo boos and get married to her Maya to Kayla?

00:36:33--> 00:36:48

To be what you will cafe manners Osama cancer module cafe de la sala this he left it to walk to your judgment. Because one of us we differ upon this to Yani, some of us may be looking at how big she is.

00:36:49--> 00:36:52

Our well my schufa Masha Allah

00:36:55--> 00:37:04

colosse I'm going for this one enough. Some of them see me the like this, you know, tiny little, you know, as soon as that's my I'm done with that.

00:37:07--> 00:37:18

Individual judgment, personal judgment. Everybody has a different taste regarding this issue. So did we answer that? So we said the view of the jurors is to look at what

00:37:19--> 00:37:20

Come on.

00:37:22--> 00:37:26

The view of the majority of the jurors told you more in the issue is to look at what

00:37:27--> 00:37:28

best

00:37:29--> 00:37:32

as a student's knowledge because of this evidence, I tell you how it

00:37:34--> 00:37:35

is more legitimate.

00:37:36--> 00:37:42

Even so it and it's not that you have that yours because it's supported by evidence is supported by evidence.

00:37:44--> 00:37:47

I said I shouldn't say I know

00:37:52--> 00:37:53

what to do as in Nevada,

00:37:55--> 00:38:07

Nevada, and Nevada solo it was lm lm evina in Nevada, you have invaded elmia olema who young daughter Ella mela, young daughter, Ella, yada,

00:38:10--> 00:38:25

yada, why would you go and tell your companions to look at her to look at the women before you propose to her? unless you really mean to look at what is normally not to be looked at. Because everybody sees what

00:38:27--> 00:38:46

everyone so whether you want to propose or not everybody sees the face and the hands. But you should have some more privilege, some more privilege. Therefore, you should look at this. Another question that we answered quickly and we really want to finish this because it's all tied up. So I want to answer quickly.

00:38:48--> 00:38:53

How will you start off who is neutral enough to battle in every layer?

00:38:56--> 00:38:58

Is it a condition

00:38:59--> 00:39:01

to get the permission of the woman to look at her

00:39:04--> 00:39:06

Jani you want to propose to our

00:39:08--> 00:39:16

Do you have okay I want to get the Provost you can I look at you. What do you think tell us? Yes. Okay.

00:39:21--> 00:39:22

I will call I will.

00:39:24--> 00:39:32

I will call the first view will who are called Lulu and it is the view of the majority of the jurors. No.

00:39:35--> 00:39:35

Sorry.

00:39:37--> 00:39:39

It happened to be this way today.

00:39:41--> 00:39:43

The second view is Yes. Why

00:39:45--> 00:39:55

is left? Yeah. And we we just mentioned Jagger's. He was back in some way. Mohammed Abdullah muslimah he was back in some way correct. Did you get the permission of the woman to look at her

00:39:56--> 00:40:00

Jani to begin with I said ideally you want to do this before the

00:40:00--> 00:40:24

But before the proposal, you don't want a letter that I'm proposing to you. Let me Yeah, if you break a lot of ties or you give the women a bad name if you go and propose to her and then you say no, I didn't like her. So I see my facility. There are more facets in this issue that you go to a woman and you tell her and robos in queue Can I look at you I'd like to marry you and then you go spend some time looking at her.

00:40:25--> 00:40:26

Like

00:40:27--> 00:40:41

That is why the heck man that is why the wisdom more understand the wisdom behind this is you're supposed to look at her before you even speak. So you can make up your mind so when you step in the palace, it's over the whole pool.

00:40:44--> 00:40:46

Right? No way that

00:40:47--> 00:40:51

you cannot run you cannot hide. You're gonna get married to her in the head.

00:40:52--> 00:40:53

Louder.

00:40:55--> 00:40:56

Louder, beautiful.

00:40:57--> 00:41:02

Muhammad Yunus lemma jabber did not delay. They used to that somewhere on look.

00:41:03--> 00:41:12

Does the women No no, she does not know. Rhonda actually. NUS fi mahalalel Killa cam APU.

00:41:13--> 00:41:19

Howdy Eddie homie Dylan sorry, robiola one. Well howdy famous netatmo more

00:41:22--> 00:41:43

than the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says either hapa Dooku Moroccan fella Juna young daughter Eliza interviews about Jani either hataoka Jani before y'all I want y'all to understand this either. Yeah, yo Latina mo Ada home to Ella

00:41:44--> 00:42:30

Jani when you in pain when you want to grow bows to a certain woman. So this happens before it's not after it. So the locking happens before it so don't be deceived with the words here is a haka. That means you propose and then you look, it's the vice versa, vice versa. You look then you Provos either komamura is in your few blue balls is to a woman fella Jonah had a young daughter Elijah, there is no burden there is no sin on this person to look at her. Either. Can I undo it he if his intention you see the destruction, the prophet SAW Selim is placing the destruction again, you're doing this because you're determined to get married. You want to get engaged. You want to get

00:42:30--> 00:42:34

married. Here is mother shade. We're in Ghana Atlanta.

00:42:36--> 00:42:43

Even if she does not know that he is looking at her for him. Hello fellas. That finishes the issue.

00:42:45--> 00:42:53

So let me ask you the question again. Do you need a permission to look at women you want to propose to from her? No, you do not.

00:42:54--> 00:42:56

Bessie there is an issue here.

00:42:57--> 00:42:59

I think a person should be smart enough.

00:43:00--> 00:43:02

Linda modo MFS Matheson

00:43:04--> 00:43:13

then you go on and you look around and imagine you find a Muslim looking like this or looking at the women and the people around you what they're gonna think of you.

00:43:15--> 00:43:19

Hmm, Sophie metacity NFL model, that you're splitting evil?

00:43:20--> 00:43:26

Because looking is haram correct. And you're openly looking in front of everybody. This is called?

00:43:27--> 00:43:58

Correct. So you must explain to anybody who sees you that Listen, I have an intention to propose to this woman. Okay, that's why I'm looking. Can I find Mohammed? Khalid Mohammed a Muslim Actually, this is context. Another unfolding another Ansari actually saw him looking under Sahaba rasulillah You're the Companion of the Messenger of Allah. And you're doing this setting. And Hakka Allahu Allah Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he the Alka love as

00:44:00--> 00:44:10

Mara Fernando la he told him that he brought him the evidence that you cannot just go and sit in the street and look like it's what everybody is looking at you and what is this guy's doing?

00:44:12--> 00:44:22

So you need to explain what you need to find the place where nobody sees you. Or you're supposed to simply let the people know. And if there's another

00:44:23--> 00:44:37

party in the house of the this is what this is Sophia my wife when they thought that he's standing with a woman who said no, this is my wife. So you want to be placed in an area of what

00:44:39--> 00:44:59

any doubts Yeah, I hope the brothers do not understand that you you know these things that they get now the microscopes are what do you call these things that you get? By innopolis I hope the brothers that are not going to do this thing that she is teaching us now to go get by an Oculus and sit in the in the windows.

00:45:00--> 00:45:04

The house and just life. That's not what I'm talking about.

00:45:07--> 00:45:13

We're not pitching the work of a police here we're teaching the Sharia, how things should be done

00:45:15--> 00:45:34

by you, can we take more inshallah? Looking good? selecting minutes, correct? Yes. By Halle ijebu. Era Sally Sue rotten. tuba delicata. Barbara internet? Is it permissible to send the picture

00:45:36--> 00:45:43

of your daughter if you're a father to someone who's interested in proposing to her through the internet or Facebook or through email?

00:45:46--> 00:45:50

No, no, you got it this time?

00:45:51--> 00:45:52

Not necessity.

00:45:53--> 00:46:42

necessity, there is more damages in this one. What does that lie ahead? Why he could share it with somebody else. See, this is the girl that there is no What do you think? Come on. I have this picture. What do you think Senator? You see your daughter ends up to be seen was by what? Number two, he could abuse this pitch if it doesn't work, correct. I mean, if he's a wicked hearted person, if the engagement or the marriage proposal was not successful, he could abuse this he could use it for other he could boot a body of naked women on the face. They know they do these things now. You don't want your daughter to go through this. This is number two. Number three. We mentioned that

00:46:42--> 00:46:53

what happens after the fact that he does not want to propose to her anymore. He's still gonna keep up the diction Allah knows best what is he gonna do with it?

00:46:56--> 00:47:00

There is another way to find out what are that Hadith

00:47:02--> 00:47:03

about the liner savoury

00:47:04--> 00:47:11

Muslim Hadith NSE nomadic Ravi Allah Juan and and Naveen salatu salam O Allah and

00:47:12--> 00:47:18

the Prophet sallahu wa sallam wants to get engaged to him and he sent another woman to check her out.

00:47:20--> 00:47:59

This is also one of the tools by the way you could do this also oma send your mother, send your sister to go and look at her. Her and she probably gonna bring you better information than you going and sneaking around and acting that you're, you know, in a battlefield doing something that is much better actually to get the mother to look at the women, she will get you a better result. But be careful because also the tastes you had your mother may have a different look at women different your look. So you have to make sure mother I like this and this and this and this and this. Please come report me about these issues. Don't be what you want what you like because at the end of the

00:47:59--> 00:48:02

day, you're the one was going to be married to her.

00:48:04--> 00:48:10

With this a person let's say a person decided already to propose to the woman.

00:48:12--> 00:48:21

He went to the way assalamu aleikum wa rahmatullah wa. Salam. I'm interested in proposing officially to your daughter's

00:48:23--> 00:49:01

house. Now, the father goes back to the daughter or to the sister or who or whoever is under her under his guardianship asked her. This person is interested in engaging to you. What do you think? I like him, father. Okay. Now we are going through the stage of official proposal marriage proposal, official marriage proposal. I don't think time will help us. So I was going to say what you can do and what you cannot do during this period. Can we finish it now? Or what?

00:49:02--> 00:49:07

Yes, is going to take 10 minutes. Exactly. So basically, we're gonna delay for five minutes.

00:49:08--> 00:49:09

Carlos, are we good?

00:49:11--> 00:49:12

What is the definition of

00:49:14--> 00:49:30

in the Sharia? What is the definition of marriage proposal in the Sharia? Paula who's aware that you request the marriage of a woman according to what is customary. You call the father you visit the father as as

00:49:31--> 00:49:59

I want to have some tea with you, or you send your father or whatever is customary. In order to engage if the women accepts if the daughter accepts this is considered to be a marriage proposal. This is number one. But it is a promise of marriage. It is not a marriage contract. I will warn you nothing is made lawful but by this modern work, the MA

00:50:00--> 00:50:00

panorama

00:50:04--> 00:50:10

tala they go marry the divorce dress while divorce dress Allah Maddie is

00:50:12--> 00:50:20

gonna have some. I don't know what they get from. Okay, Let's read it together. Bismillah R Rahman Rahim Allah says and then he goes out again gal alpha.

00:50:22--> 00:50:23

She's not your wife

00:50:25--> 00:50:36

is not marriage proposal is not a marriage contract period. We have to be careful with this. First let's answer this question What is the ruling regarding that ceremony.

00:50:37--> 00:50:38

be

00:50:41--> 00:50:54

lucky that they bring a woman and they play they really get the women dressed so Pinilla like a Barbie. Barbie and she sits next to the guy and he goes and he buys all this gold and the gold goes around.

00:50:55--> 00:51:00

The gold goes around and then he holds her hand tightly made a biscuit.

00:51:04--> 00:51:06

We are selling locally.

00:51:08--> 00:51:35

The necklace Aurora he had a home. This is haraam. Linda had in Milan or less luck and telmisartan double x. You see a minute ago I said you can look at the women more than the face and the two hands in order to drive you to Bravos to her. Actually, after you make the decision and you propose to her you're only allowed to look at the face and the hands. That's it.

00:51:37--> 00:51:38

My Infanta Takashi Amanda customer

00:51:40--> 00:51:47

because what was the wisdom behind you looking at these extra things to do what may I do care what will drive you to what

00:51:48--> 00:52:00

to propose to her now you made your decision? hallas This woman is not your wife. You cannot be touching her. Now in this engagement with Amal hakuba

00:52:03--> 00:52:08

we need to open these things in

00:52:10--> 00:52:16

Walla Walla Walla who were brought up in this journey, Rocky rocky did that with

00:52:17--> 00:52:18

Jerry

00:52:19--> 00:52:24

and what he put his hand like this in a happy happy happy TV.

00:52:26--> 00:52:29

The way in Yamaha TBA Salama of Salama mama

00:52:32--> 00:52:42

j Leola jaleesa, viola, ignorance, there is a fitness and then we wonder why we're having divorces wonder why the divorce rate is hard because of such things.

00:52:43--> 00:53:03

The engagement ceremony has no basis in the Sharia, you should not participate you should not contribute in it because the fiance ends up messing up with the with the fiancee touching her so you should not participate in this. This is of course different to Nikesh

00:53:05--> 00:53:30

alima alima Musharraf either the marriage contract Yes, after he bought the marriage contract you're supposed to have a wedding party. This is different, but engagement party, nothing to show you as his engagement party. This is just a promise a promise of marriage. That's it. Nothing becomes lawful. Nothing becomes Hillel. Like the marriage contract and the ruling regarding

00:53:31--> 00:53:35

the fiancee touching her fiancee.

00:53:36--> 00:53:45

The male touching the women they are from la de la de la Mata Veronica. Jamil also had his ma palette nesara the law one

00:53:47--> 00:53:56

law in yo Pon houfy Rossi it can be messy of the mean Howdy. How you love woman is summer Attila. Lula Allah

00:53:57--> 00:54:12

Yeah, who are the brothers who go and shake hands with women? Yeah, if one listen to this, one of you would be stabbed with a needle made out of iron in his head is better than touching a woman who's not lawful for him to touch

00:54:13--> 00:54:17

as soon as we see women Oh, how you doing? Suddenly.

00:54:18--> 00:54:39

Even you October even the woman to whom you propose to you're not allowed to touch her whatsoever even even if the touch is not going to bring desire had power in me Natasha. Obviously, I'm not gonna touch I'm gonna touch you but I'm not gonna feel anything okay. Even this, it is hard to touch this woman.

00:54:40--> 00:54:43

We mentioned also alfalah Bill, Bill bill.

00:54:44--> 00:54:59

It is her arm to end up alone with a woman to whom you proposed. This must happen in the presence of a father or a Muharram nikolina visa Lavanya celebrated normal 100 famous mathematician eternity

00:55:00--> 00:55:34

Palace Allahu alayhi wa sallam, layyah Luana Raja be immersed in the inner thighs the Houma shavon a man and a woman cannot be by themselves. The third is a shaitan das the marginata barani sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, men can you mean will he went to mill acid, fella Luanda, the Moroccan lady Sabina verbena, who maharam? If you believe in Allah and that there was a reduction, do not place you do not place yourself in a position where you're alone with a woman where there is no Muharram

00:55:35--> 00:55:54

the last two questions quickly insha Allah the last, we still have three more questions quickly. Hallelujah Zhu Zhu, is it permissible to speak to a woman who you propose to alone? Can you email her? Can you send her a Facebook? Can you do all of this, it is permissible

00:55:56--> 00:56:41

with some restrictions. So Illa Schiphol frozen Hola, kala mocha lemma to copy really happy that he had this letter that said he either can abandon St. Java. You the fiancee, calling his fiancee is permissible, provided that there is a promise for marriage. And he actually knows her father or whoever Well, he knows. And the speech or the speak in is for the purpose of getting to know one another or agreeing on some of the terms of the marriage, basically the wedding or the issues of the house, provided that also here. Well, he knows about it. But he said at the end well,

00:56:42--> 00:56:50

but it's much better, that this happens in the presence of her wedding of her guardian

00:56:51--> 00:57:15

has one last question and we're done with this. Hallelujah Juju fests who helped bah bah dah is temporary. Antonella someone who proposed to a woman, and he got a promise to marry a promise of marginal support, and they spent a year or two, first of all the jurists they say it is not wise for the wealthy to prolong that period.

00:57:16--> 00:57:47

If you really are Guardian, make sure that you do not give that marriage proposal to this man, unless the man is almost ready to get married. Because when you prolong it, a lot of things can happen. A lot of things could happen. Also, they said because now what happens is a lot of people they say in order to make things permissible for them to be with one another, let's do the NACA, let's do the the marriage contract first and delay delay the actual a wedding that's not actually wise to

00:57:49--> 00:58:24

because they may end up doing something wrong. And then a problem creates a problem for the ideal thing for the guardian of a woman is to make sure that basically the person who proposes is ready to get married, so that the duration of time for the marriage proposal is not extended or is not lengthy and at the same time. Also, there is no need to place a marriage contract law Nicotiana law, the law, the marriage contract, in order for them to be with one another. But if you propose to a woman,

00:58:26--> 00:58:55

and at the end of the day you figured out or she figured out that you're not the right husband for her, you're not she is not the right way for you. It is permissible to come out of the relationship without her acceptance behind it. You don't have to ask her Can we just break up law you don't have to as long as you have not found her to be the woman to whom you want it to get married to? What happens then,

00:58:56--> 00:59:08

if you have brought the gold This is brings a lot of issues are women you got proposed to and you went and bought her maybe 10 $15,000 gold

00:59:10--> 00:59:13

and then at the end of the day, you said I'm not interested anymore.

00:59:15--> 00:59:16

So what happened to that goal?

00:59:21--> 00:59:24

This creates a big fitna in a lot of families,

00:59:25--> 00:59:30

you have to identify is that gold is a gift

00:59:31--> 00:59:33

or part of the delivery.

00:59:34--> 00:59:38

And you have to say this explicitly, not implicitly.

00:59:39--> 00:59:42

Because if it is part of the delivery, you're entitled to what

00:59:43--> 00:59:44

if it is a gift

00:59:45--> 00:59:48

gun with the wind widget blackall howdy

00:59:49--> 00:59:52

ledi out v batty Cal Cal

00:59:53--> 00:59:55

ej blackall. Howdy, Roger.

00:59:57--> 01:00:00

We will not read the Hadith to you. The one who takes

01:00:00--> 01:00:04

A gift is like a dog who vomits Alex's vomit again. We'll

01:00:08--> 01:00:34

see when does that come along? inshallah, next lecture, we will talk about the marriage contract. The Pillars of the marriage contract. The conditions for the marriage contract for to be valid. If you are a father have daughters, this is important for you to learn. The second law Haleigh panaca lahoma Hamburg Chateau La Land as the full go to Lake wa Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh