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The Forbidden Love By

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Kamal El-Mekki

Channel: Kamal El-Mekki

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Miss Miller he lost learners. He

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cinematic

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This means I have him and hamdulillah horrible alameen wa salatu salam Allah shuffle and do not sorry about

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all praise is due to Allah, Who created man from clay, the master and owner of Judgement Day, Allah Who knows what we conceal, and knows what we reveal, and what leaves may fall and what the animals feel. And upon His Messenger, we asked his salah and his praise, and we're asked to remain steadfast until the end of our days.

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And my bad, we're supposed to speak about the Forbidden Love. And

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I don't know why I was given this lecture. And in retrospect, I now regret it. But when we say the Forbidden Love, obviously, we're talking about the forbidden type, but which one is which one is the one that is forbidden? And definitely you know the answer, it would be a love relationship that is outside of marriage.

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And the reason being is that Islam came to protect your chastity, it came to protect the lineage of people. And it came also to prevent Xena, which are illicit sexual relations between a man and a woman. And the ill effects of a sexually loose society are many. And if you ever study what are the effects of having a society that's sexually loose, you'll find so many things directly and indirectly related to the society being loose in that sense, from crime. It can be related to Xena, con men in society, serial killers, if you look the study the life of serial killers, you'll find most of them were children of Xena, who their mothers were young and they didn't bond with them, Ted

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Bundy, next famous example. And others, you can also link homosexuality to having a sexually elusive society. And more Xena is linked to Xena. A statistic says that 82% of teenage mothers are themselves the daughters of teenage mothers 82%

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so all these issues come from Xena. And

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Xena obviously is part of the the it's a relationship outside of marriage and it's a forbidden relationship. So then the question is, is Islam against love because many people don't hear much many lectures about love in Islam or romance in Islam, and they don't hear much about love in Islam. So I remind you that a large part of either one of his name is Alba dude, the loving and the one that is beloved also.

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And Allah Subhana Allah many times in or until it's the type of the types of people that he loves in

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our being

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in the La Habra, La Nina Catarina feasability. sofa.

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Dude. So so many times I'll mention the types of people that he loves, and he will mention love and how he is mentioned how he is loved by his servants. And those of you who have studied, you know, in worship, you will may have encountered something called the three pillars of worship, which is love, hope and fear. What drives you to worship, part of it is fear of the punishment. Part of it is hope in Allah's mercy. But then as the scars describe it like a bird, the body of that bird, if the wings to keep it balanced are love and fear. The body of the bird is the love,

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hope and fear the wings, the body of the bird is the love that drives you forward. So loving Allah azza wa jal and worshipping him out of love is part of it as well. So there is a lot of love in Islam, whether or not you have sat at a lecture where it was just about love. The Prophet sallallahu Sallam was a very loving person and also very romantic.

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A lot of people think that to be religious, you have to be dry and emotionally distant and just frowning. And that's the mark of a good religious person. You see a good religious brothers like this shirt.

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This is a good serious Mashallah good religious brother, but no. So.

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And there's nothing shameful about love, contemplate the hadith of honorable Oz, when he came to ask the seller, which of the people is most beloved to you? Now, if I asked you this question, what is it which is the people's most beloved to you? And I'm talking outside your family, what will you say? Oh, sure, so and so who will just immediately run and say, my wife, but the

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last ask them who's who's the most beloved to your people? Immediately, he says, I shall. So I want to clarify what I was talking about men,

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not women. So the problem is not ashamed to say that he loves his wife in public.

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And the problem has

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Excellent love for hadera gala ohana that remained even after her death, even years after her death, he loved her so much that he would honor her friends and her relatives years after her death, he would present them with gifts if he slotted he would give part to them. And as long as he had never been jealous of anyone as much as she was jealous of honey, God, Allah Han, who died many years before her.

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And the problem is that lamb also would mention about loving children where he when he kissed a child and the man asked him, you said you kissed children, I have so many kids, and I've never kissed one of them. And the President tells him what can I do for you, Allah has taken mercy out of your heart. So there's a lot of love.

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And in in the Hadith, recorded in JAMA, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, There is nothing better for two who love one another than marriage, the two who love one another, the best thing for them is to get married, so that it does acknowledge that there can be love, and then it gives you a solution for it, which is the marriage, it recognizes that. So then what is the Forbidden Love do causes Zina? It causes people to lose their religion. And it also replaces the love of Allah with the love of that individual. So now someone is probably saying Great, now, our favorite thing love now. Now they're telling us forbidden as well.

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And how are we supposed to get married? No love? How are we gonna get married here? So let me ask you a question. Which do you think of these two groups I'm about to mention, which is the more successful type of marriage, the type of marriage where people fell in love before getting married? Or the type of love where people fell in love after marriage? Who thinks that the more successful one is when Don't be shy on it? If you fell in love before marriage, this is a more successful marriage. Okay, so we have three brothers, and just one sister on this side. Okay, four brothers, and 50 who are like me.

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Okay, so and who thinks that obviously, the rest I assume they think that the other type the word love happens after marriage is the more successful and you are correct. So contrary to what we think you fall in love, first chocolates, flowers, roses, then you get married, nice, happy life. But statistic will tell you that those who fell in love after marriage, that's the more successful type of wedding. But let me ask you one more.

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You think which is the type of marriages more successful, the one where you find your own spouse, or the one where your best friend's wife hooks you up with some other sister and or your mother or your sister hooks you up with someone who says the first time where you find your own spouse Put your hand up?

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Okay, the second

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who has no clue what we're talking about?

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Okay. And the truth is the second type where someone hooks you up with someone where there's a hookup to tell you, this person, that person, and then this is the more successful type of marriage. So it goes contrary to what we usually think.

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And why is it that is usually the opposite. Because we live in a world of exaggerated romance. And coming from Sudan being very unromantic myself, I'm the right person to speak about exaggerated romance. Everything is full of so much romance. And by the way, there are studies by by Western scholars on this issue, that it's too much and it's unrealistic. The type of romance we hear about in the movies is an exaggerated romance in the books, the romantic novels with the guy with the long hair or matte finish on the cover, exaggerated and in the music. And of course, music Not only does exaggerate romance, but most of the time it's praising when music talks about love. Is it talking

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about any the wife? Anyone Puff Daddy talks about? I love you my fish, is he talking about his wife. He's talking about some foreign woman, they're always talking about Xena mostly for an occasion.

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So the exaggerated romance is what makes now people have this unrealistic view in their head. It's all this stuff we're talking about, that you had me at hello type of stuff, the soulmates kind of action, you know, the prints that will sweep you off your feet. All of this is just exaggerated romance, and is unrealistic and it makes people live in this type of Dream Dream World where this is their expectation for their marriage. It could be something as unromantic as a brother bringing his father with a broken accent and they're sitting there talking to you father has a broken accent or we want your son or daughter. That's it. No flowers, no roses, no prints on a white horse.

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But it might be a very nice relationship after that. But so there are so many problems that are caused by love relationships that are outside of marriage. The least of them is the person becomes a zombie who can think about anything with the person that they're in love with. No one brother who had the famous love story in our area is in love with this sister for three years. We were ignorant or isn't a convention some years ago. We prayed after the Salah.

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To the distributor. During the whole prayer, I'm just thinking of her.

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So now, okay, no focus on Salah, forget about a lot. Just all he's thinking about is the sister, the sister, the sister, the sister. So this is the worst case, the least case is that you just become like that mindless zombie. You can't think straight. But the reality is we have so many horror stories when it comes to love relationships. And if these stories were about people who didn't pray and things of that sort, it wouldn't be scary. But the reality is, many of the people we consider to be good brothers and sisters have fallen into these things. So many times I get emails from sisters who are active in Dell, for example, who will say I started giving out to some to some young man and

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now I'm emotionally attached to him, or a brother who start giving that hour and then they'll become emotionally attached as well. And stories of pregnancies from religious people.

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These things happen. And there is a tension between men and women so so you can't expect that you can mingle with with women and sister will mingle with men, and that nothing will happen because that's not true. Because there's a tension that naturally occurs occurs between men and women.

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There is a there's a story they say about

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sci fi to come back to that. But there's a story in inherited by Admiral Josie rossano law in his book and he says that there at some point in history, the Muslims had surrounded a room, the Europeans in a fourth very strong fourth of this. So they put it under siege. And they stayed there for a long time. This is one of those days, one of the women under the European woman, she peered over the wall of the fourth and one of the Muslims. His name is Ignacio Rahim. He saw her so he became attracted to her.

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So he asked her, he said, Keith was the beautiful lake he had, he says, How do I get to you? So she says, There is no way for you to get to me except if you become a Christian. And if you become a Christian, I will show you a secret passage so you can come into the fort. So the man who felt so in love with this woman, that he became a Christian, even though he was now in the middle of jihad, and he was a half of the Quran. But he became in love, you know, and it took over his heart and his thinking and his emotions. So he became a Christian.

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And he went to her. The Muslims were very sad and when that happened, and the seeds continued for a long time, and eventually the Muslims left that fort. And some while later a group of Muslims passed by the same fourth and they remembered even Abdur Rahim. So they start to call me up now I've got Rahim Rahim. So he looked over the wall of the forts. So then they asked him, you got what you wanted. So where is your for an? And where is your knowledge? And what happened? What happened? What has your prayer done for you? So he began to cry. And he said to them will lie I have forgotten all of the Quran. And I do not remember except one ayah. And that is the I where Allah zillion, says,

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Ruben, I would be in a car for O'Connell's living, perhaps that the non believers will wish that they were Muslims. This is the only guy that he remembered. But so many people when they become in love, they think that the root of their happiness lies lies in getting to be with that person that they're so attached to.

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But these similar stories have happened today, there was one brother who he became, started practicing Islam. He became active in that hour. And then one day, some old female acquaintance with a non Muslim calls him up. So he says, It's been a long time and so on and so forth. He says, He says, I would like to come see you. So now I'm a Muslim, and I'm a practicing Muslim, and I'm not able to see you. She says, I've just passed by, we'll just talk in the car. So she came, he went down there was talking in the car, she said, I'll just drive around. He started driving around, and now he's, you know, so then they stopped in front of a place. He said, This is my house. Why don't

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you just come in. So now he wants to test himself. So they went, they went inside the end of the story is that, at the end of the story, where they had the villa, they, they they committed Xena and the thing was right after they committed Xena, and they got up she looked at she looked at him and she said, Islam Hmm.

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As an insult to the injury now, but a lot of brothers do this and a lot of sisters do this the test they're a man. They just they're a man. I'll give that to the prettiest girls in the school, and inshallah Nothing will happen to my email. People always test their email and test themselves. Like people who pray with the television on let me test my sure love work.

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And they started testing themselves.

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People do this in so many ways monitor use yourself, you'll see, oh, there's some danger in that punch Allah, nothing will happen. Let me see what will happen. Let me ask you this, do you test your life? You say, let me run across the busy highway and see if I have my life when I get to the other side, because you value it, you don't put it to the test. you value your Eman. Why do you put it to the test? Well, let me talk to give the sisters Tao and see what happened. By the way, in our Ma and our data table at our MSA. We have the group of sisters on one side, the Google brothers on one side, guess who comes to the brothers to ask them about Islam, Jessica and Kimberly and Edwina

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Marrakesh, and who comes to the sisters to ask them about Islam, Chad, and Brad and all those guys. So what do we do, we do a quick switch. Because Don't, don't be fooled. I'm working for Allah. So many times something starts out good. And the shaitaan turns it sour at the end. So we do the quick switch. And this is Jessica, she wants to learn about Islam, I introduced her to another sister. And that's the end of that.

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Then there's also the famous excuse that the hearts are pure, and the intentions are good. And therefore if I'm telling someone about Islam with good intentions, it's not a problem. And that may be the case initially. But you never know when something sorrow will creep into it. And for that reason, you find the companions of the Providence and Lem and the alum himself would not put themselves in situations like that, though they had the best of intentions and the purest of hearts. One chef was telling about a young man who, who got the wrong number and found this girl, she had the sweet voice over the phone. So they fell in love, you know, talks to her and she's talking to

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him the sweet voice and everything. So they fell in love over the phone they have never met. And of course, this is not a proper relationship. And no one was involved. No worries, no anything, just him and her, you know, as they say macking on the phone. You know, I know about makin Kemal Mackie, you know, so

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so what happens, he tells I want to meet you one day, and they meet with him in the street. And she was in the pub. So when they met, she uncovered her face. And he saw that she was in

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reality she was very ugly.

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So she was so ugly that he couldn't help himself he naturally said

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he said, The below with kind of a faces that.

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Guess what she responded to him with? She said, Well, beauty is not important. The most important thing is

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you're meeting a guy you've never met over the phone in the street somewhere without talking about a clock.

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So

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So then we we talked about one of the dangers with the Forbidden Love is that it may lead to Zina. And I just hope that you will trust me enough so I don't have to get give you details of things that happen within Muslim or any organizations such as MSA is about illicit sexual encounters between men and woman. Let's just not get into the details and accept the fact that this is reality that it happens. It happens because the barriers break eventually between the brothers and sisters versus sister the brother is not so far looking down that he's looking that way. While he comes salon sister lover comes up afterward while you get used as

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you get used to it after a while.

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So

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now but then Xena which is for indication is strong word now it's even given nice euphemisms that make it sound very nice. No one says Well, we know that your non Muslim friends don't say we committed fornication. They say what we made love esalaam they sat down they made little hearts they tied bows.

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Everyone's have a heart we made love. We slept together It was so innocent. He went over that one over there everybody slept

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with wake up in the morning. Good morning.

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Slept, euphemism Something Wicked. Give it a nice word. It makes it more acceptable to people.

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A lot of suggestions about Zim and the Quran, Allah Taku Xena in who can

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and do not come close to Xena that it is a great sin and an evil way.

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Likewise Allah Subhana Allah is talking about also describing the believers will be an ally of the rownum Allah, Allah and Allah

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and those who do not call upon other gods besides Allah, what I have to do, the harmala who ended up whether is known and they do not kill the soul which Allah has made sacred except with a just cause and they do not commit Zina Omar, Al Qaeda.

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And whoever does that he will meet his punishment, and it will the punishment will be doubled for them on the Day of Resurrection.

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The President and then also in in Sahara Buhari describes that the fornicator is not a believer when he can

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fornication and other nourishes would explain that the the man leaves the person while therefore indicating and it comes back to them while they're when they're done, and that's why they're suddenly overcome with the extreme feeling of guilt when they're done.

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But, so then the question is this we looked at the I that I first mentioned, a lot of this is what kerabu Xena because we're not only going to be talking about preventing Xena because no one look alarm, which is what a Takapuna Do not come near Xena. He didn't say do not commit Zina, please pay attention to this. Allah didn't say do not commit Zina, he says Do not come near Xena. Let me ask you this, who wakes up suddenly, who's unconscious and suddenly wakes up in the middle of the activism? No one ever in the history of the world. No one suddenly wakes up in the middle of Xena. Why? There are steps that lead to it. Someone give us examples of things that lead to Xena. How does

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it start? Any? If someone Muslim somewhere has the intention to make Xena? How does he start? Yes, sir.

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Okay, being alone, but even before being alone, it doesn't suddenly imagine and he's alone. And yes.

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None. lust, okay. Looking at some Sisters now.

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Okay. But all these things are things that lead to Xena. So realistically, in Islam, when Allah prohibits something, he prohibits things that lead to it. It doesn't tell you what, go ahead, get right to the doorstep, but stop there. It will block the road that will take you to that doorstep. This is how it works. Kind of like the example with alcohol. So people understand. So Allah has made consuming alcohol and getting drunk Haram. Right. So then he made things that lead to you getting drunk Haram, such as selling it, but selling the alcohol forbidden. buying the alcohol is forbidden carrying physically carrying the alcohols forbidden sitting down with people who drink it's

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forbidden. So all these things lead to you getting drunk, they've become Haram. It makes it more logical now. Compare that to in Christianity where you're allowed to drink but not to get drunk. So how many people say they're drinking? They're like, Oh, I think I'm about to get drunk. Let me just

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you know what really happens there? lt alcohol is is a substance that alters your judgment. So how on earth are you supposed to drink something that alters your judgment and then suddenly make a judgement that you've had enough? It doesn't work like that. So then the same thing with fornication, you're not supposed to for Nikki. So then everything that will lead to that has been made prohibited. So you look at things that will eventually lead to, to a new fornication. It begins with the look, you know, you have to obviously, look at the see the person first. So it begins with the look, the smile, the talk, the being alone, the touch is enough. You don't just get into the

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zinger, the things that go before that. And like I said,

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Our main goal here is not just to talk about preventing xenophobia, we're talking about the steps that will lead to it and I want to focus on those. The two main culprits then would be the intermingling that I want to talk about intermingling and the gaze and looking at women and intermingling. So when it comes to intermingling, for some reason, people have used it to say what this is a type of extremists. You go to an event, the men and women are sitting together, you say, let's have the men on one side, one on one side. That's a little extreme. Why are you being extreme. We're here at an Islamic event. The hearts are poor, and the intentions are good and all that stuff.

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So now let's, let's understand something very important here about what is extreme and what is not.

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within any realm, within any ideology, within any religion, there are typically two extremes. There's one extreme end and there's the other extreme and within Islam, and you behavior that can be one extreme end and another extreme end. So if I were to ask you, who is the middle? What would you say?

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The Prophet sallallahu Sallam is the middle. No one would dare say he was in this extreme end or the other extreme, and he was moderate. He was in the middle. So hey, so now we look at what the prophet sallallahu Sallam did.

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If what we're doing is below was less than what he did. That means we're moving to this extreme. And if what he were doing is more than what he did, we're moving to the other extreme. It's that simple.

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Because now people use extreme ism for everything.

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Like we had a brother, a friend of ours, he used to work as a bouncer for three years in front of a nightclub bouncer, this is before he became practicing. So he stays until 3am in front of this nightclub, and he's supposed to, you know, some people come with knives with switchblades with guns, and that's his job for three years. And no one his parents never said you know, this is that other extremists so when you start to become practicing, and he would stay with us at our Islamic Center, sometimes we'd have a late kebab dinner until he'd go home by midnight. His parents now

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worried for you that you're staying until midnight with these people, they will never worried when he used to be a bouncer and come home 3am. But now they're worried because this type of extremism that which they think is extremism, but the other life, they didn't look at it as extremism. They're two families. One is practicing, the other is getting drunk. They don't say, well, this one is extreme. They weren't the one who's practicing don't become extreme. So this is something that we have That's incorrect. With extremism. We look at the middle, the profit center, if we're doing less than him, you're going to that extreme. And if you're doing more than what he used to do, we're

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doing extra things are making it difficult, you're going towards the other extreme. And so it comes to intermingling every time you tell people separate the man and the woman to being extreme, what's going to happen. But

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and, and most sins, they start off innocent, and most sins, they start off with good intention, just like we said, with the people who give our they sort of giving down something good. And then emotions and feelings creep into it. And then it becomes sour.

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You have probably heard of the story of the past nations of man, he was a hobbit and a sila. He was a righteous man and a worshipper of Allah. And then there were three brothers who wanted to go on a journey. So they thought they had a sister, they thought the best place was to leave their sister with this man who is a worshiper and known for his righteousness. So they asked him and he said, I can't leave her with me. So they built her a place next to him

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shelter and she would stay in that room, never leaving. So they left on their journey. And they went out for over a year. So in the beginning, the

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he the shaitaan came to him, and he's and he told me, it tells him something that's possibly correct. He said, You know what, on the ladies alone, and you know, she may feel sick, and she has no one to feed her. So the man, every time he threw himself, he started to cook a little bit more. Now we're talking about something good intention so far, it cook a little bit more, and he would bring the food and leave it on her doorstep, knock the door and leave. He doesn't want now to engage in conversation, I think just not the door, he would leave. So he would do that for a while. Then the shutdown came to him again. And he said, you know, why don't you wait until she takes the food

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so that no strange person sees her taking the food, they might become interested in her, or they might talk to her. So then he would stay until she would take the food and so he would say something to her and so on and so forth. So what happens then the barriers start started to break. And this is something that happens a lot. MSA is it happens in the Muslim workplace, it happens even within like you find them to committees within the masjid first, like I said, there's there's a great distance between the man and the woman. And then after a while, it becomes You know, they're giggling and joking, and this and that, because the barriers eventually break.

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So then he starts, he said, you know, maybe she's, you know, lonely and homesick. So he would start to engage in and chit chat, small talk. And after a while the small talk, Kate became where he would go inside. And he would eat. And as you know, the story in the end, he fell into dinner with this person.

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And she became pregnant, and she even gave birth. So then he became afraid that he will be discovered, and he's known as the righteous man and the worshipper of Allah. So he killed both of them, and he buried them.

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And after about a year and a half or so, the brothers returned, and he told him to love your sister, she fell ill, and she died. And this was the color of a large gel, and she was buried and strong. So then they believed him because he was a righteous man. And they went away. And the shaytan kept coming to them in their dreams, and kept telling them that this man killed her and he buried her in certain place. So they went and they dug up that place, and they found her buried with an infant and a child. So they knew. And they went to the Sultan, the man in charge, and he was tried and he was now tied, awaiting his punishment. So while he was awaiting his punishment, the shaitaan came to him

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in the form of a human. He said, Do you know me? I don't know. He said, I'm the one who tricked you into this from the beginning, because he shaytan he doesn't come to you and say, why don't you kill this person? Or why don't you performs and he starts with something simple. No one would fall for it. If he comes and says, Why don't you kill the person? Why don't you go insult him like he insulted you the other day when I was insulting you too much when you hit him back what eventually leads to that? So he comes to you with something small first. So here,

00:29:41--> 00:29:59

the shaytan said, I'm the one who started all this for you. And if you want out, there's one way I'll show you can come out of all this mess that you prostrate to me, you make one sense to me. And this man who was a righteous man and a worshipper of a large religion, he wanted to be freed from this embarrassing situation. So

00:30:00--> 00:30:40

He made the sujood for the shape one. And when he did that the shaitan ran away saying in half a lot of but I mean, I am afraid of Allah, Lord of the worlds. And Allah Subhana Allah mentioned this in the Quran cometh in the shavon is caught in Sonic for Bella maka for Allah, anybody in minca in your half aloha Bella. And I mean, that the example of the chiffon when he told to the man, he said to the man, this man it become a Kaffir for them NACA for when he became a cop, and he said, I am innocent from what you do, I am afraid of Allah, I fear Allah, the Lord of the worlds. So this is how shaytaan slowly brings things and this is how when the barriers break, it starts off with

00:30:40--> 00:30:45

something simple, something innocent, and then it eventually leads to something that is haram.

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So what we want to say is that it is

00:30:52--> 00:31:08

unnatural, and unrealistic to assume that there is that nothing will happen between men and women, because Allah azzawajal has put a natural tension between men and women. So to say that we can be friends and it can be an innocent relationship. It's really unrealistic.

00:31:09--> 00:31:51

The process Adam told us in Buhari I'm not leaving behind any fitna meaning any temptation, more and more harmful to men than women. So no temptation is stronger for the man than a woman. So how can you have a hadith like this that tells you there's nothing no stronger temptation? And then you say, well, we can be friends and nothing will happen. It's unrealistic to expect that. And one Muslim man came to me one time, he said, I have female Muslim friends. And one time we spent the night in a room studying and nothing happened. I wouldn't even think of anything I studied. And she studied and she looked late am she left? And I remained and nothing happened. So he's asking, so why is it then

00:31:51--> 00:32:10

prohibited between man and woman to be to be together in close proximity? And of course, the answer is very simple. And if because it happened to in your case, nothing bad happened, it doesn't mean you should make it permissible for everyone else. This is a specific case, you don't go from the specific to the general you go from the general to the specific. So

00:32:11--> 00:32:30

it's not natural to accept expect that you can be friends with a woman and nothing will happen that may be that may happen in one or two different scenarios. But we make that a general rule for people do we say Oh, brother, so and so nothing happened? He spent the night so everybody, go ahead, spend the night. We don't do that. But

00:32:34--> 00:32:38

the other thing is that you find that the

00:32:39--> 00:33:21

the prophets of the lives in Him separated physically between the men and the woman, contemplate that the woman and woman are separated in the masjid. So then what about besides the masjid and if you're not going to intermingle in the masjid and no one really is going to take their you know, their leisure and their time in in sweet talking a woman in the masjid Yanni, even though the person of week a man so that if the best of the men, the Sahaba and the best of the woman are not allowed to mix in the best of the places the message of the process. How can we then say well, we have pure hearts and good intentions, and we're not going to it's okay if we do it. We have the inven bajada

00:33:21--> 00:33:50

de sala de la she described with the profits or loss lm would say this alarm twice after the Salah, and then the woman would leave and he would stay a while. So he says that he thought that the problem would wait a while in order for the woman be able to leave the masjid. This is just leaving the masjid. He doesn't want them to meet with them while they're leaving the best of men, the best of women in the best of places yet the process lm is being so careful in

00:33:52--> 00:34:06

in the book of agudo he has a chapter entitled install often yourself a regional minister, that the departure of women before men after after Salah. So the narration to this notion comes from

00:34:08--> 00:34:44

he says the president said pointed to a door in the masjid he said we should leave this door for women that women only come and leave from this door. So when I felt says that until it died, he never once came or went through through the door of the masjid. Look at how the companions took to the order of the prophets of sin. He never once said well there is no there are no women are it's late night there's no woman right now I can leave from it. Never once did he enter from that door or leave from that door. Because the problem gave that command. Look at this description about the roles of the men and women the process and sell them says and this is in the book of Muslim. The

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best of the men's rows is the first drill and the worst is the last row. And the best of the women's rows is the last row This is the best for the woman is the last row and the worst is the first Why? Because the first row of the women and the last row of the of the men. Those are the two people

00:35:00--> 00:35:07

Closest rows to each other. And this is in Salah people this is in the masjid. And these are the worst rows because of the proximity.

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And another Hadith narrated by Abu download. The Prophet Selim says giveaway

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to the woman giveaway means when you're walking on the roads because he saw the men and women when they leave the masjid, they walk on the road meet together, meaning that there's there's a man here in the middle of the road, a few steps back, there's a woman in the middle of the road, they're all walking home, no one's talking to anyone prostaglandin says to the woman give way at it as it is not appropriate for you to walk in the middle of the road. So now just walking home President decided that the woman would walk to the side and the men will walk in the middle. And then the woman narrate, look how they follow the commands of the Prophet salon. The woman narrate that woman from

00:35:48--> 00:35:56

that day on would walk so close to the wall that sometimes they just would get caught snagged on the wall. This is how they obey the process.

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And this is how the process had them separated between them even just walking home, from Salah.

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So then they enter the exclusive the poor pure hearts and the good intention doesn't hold. And sometimes most of the time people when they send they don't have an intention to to anger Allah, like the Muslim who consumes an alcohol he doesn't sit down and say, Well, my intention is to anger a lot by doing this. His intention is to whatever they called Get a buzz get him out of his all these words. So

00:36:28--> 00:37:09

then comes the other issue of what she's like a sister to me, or she's almost a family member. The prophet SAW Selim said beware of entering upon woman. So a man as the president, or al hameau is what about the brother in law? The Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, and hammer will note and hammer, the brother in law, his death, the brother in law, his death. So what does this mean? So he's telling him even the brother in law, and now we have no additional lessons that the brother in law also it mean, all of the relatives of the husband, like the nephews of the husband, the cousin of the husband, the uncle, all of them are not to enter or to stay alone with the wife with his wife,

00:37:09--> 00:37:50

and Brazil, I'm saying that the brother in law, his death, it could mean that, that if it could result in religious Doom, if some sin happens between the two, or it could mean that actual death will happen if there's a sin because adultery, the result, punishment is death. Or it could mean that the disaster will strike if the husband becomes jealous, he divorces the wife, or that the problem is using this terminology to tell you how you should be afraid of being alone with a non Muharram or someone that you were permitted to marry, that you should fear it as you feared death, or that it is as terrible as death. So it can't be natural, and something else being along with them

00:37:50--> 00:38:03

with like those people who say, Well, you know, we said we're just friends. No, we sit down we study, and it's a natural relationship. Let me tell you something, you know, you all know this Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said

00:38:05--> 00:38:05

that,

00:38:06--> 00:38:17

that no man sits alone with a non Muslim woman, except that the shaitaan is the third amongst them. So those people who say it's natural if they could visualize if they could actually see the shape, and

00:38:18--> 00:38:45

would it be unnatural sitting, the brother over here, sister in her job over there, and Mr. shaitan is sitting right here. If you took a photograph of the three of them sitting together, she thought is sitting there? Would it look like a natural library innocent? What's she doing sitting with you, if it's innocent, it can't be he can't be in a gathering. And it's a nice innocent gathering. So it can't be something natural. Now, then we want to move quickly, since our time is about up

00:38:47--> 00:39:28

to the issue of so now we're talking about when you when you intermingle. That's one of the things that facilitates in, when you're alone with a woman. And being alone doesn't just happen like that it happened when barriers start to break. We want to talk to them about the gaze, the process is loaded with another another bit nebra for in the very first column says do not follow a glance with another glance, because it's like a facilitator of Zener, or one of the passageways to avenues of Zener. So this is the gaze and you know that you're allowed one look. And then that won't be counted against you. If you look again, it's counted against you. And some brothers try to be smart, so they

00:39:28--> 00:39:29

take one long look.

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The whole idea of the look is that now you know there's a woman there, you turn away. So if you keep looking, you still know there's a woman there, you can't keep looking. And this also by the way, lowering the gaze can also apply to women, especially if they feel that there is any fitna or some emotional will be stirred and the woman has to lower her gaze as well.

00:39:52--> 00:39:59

You know, a lot of times people will look at women a lot. They always tell you the same thing. They think they're smart. They're trying to be funny and they

00:40:00--> 00:40:01

tell you that in a large image

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so we're looking at the beauty of woman, Allah is beautiful and he loves beauty. So then the comeback is that you know, I understand because Allah is beautiful, he loves beauty. Why do you love it?

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So I wanted to.

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Okay,

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so I wanted to then quickly take, just talk about lowering the gaze. I want to take the example of one of the companions of the Prophet sallallahu sallam. His name was fella, Abdullah, he was a young man about the age of 16. And he used to always run errands for the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he would send him here and he would send him there to do something for him. So one day, the president sent him to do something, and he was walking through the city of Medina, and he passed by a house with an open door. So he glanced inside, and he saw a type of curtain that they used to cover the shower area. And the wind blew that curtain. And he saw a woman, a Muslim woman inside that was

00:41:04--> 00:41:07

bathing. And it's as if he glanced for too long.

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Or he, he looked for a bit too long until he saw something. And then he came to his senses. So he was overtaken by an extreme feeling of guilt and hypocrisy. And he said to himself,

00:41:22--> 00:42:08

the prophet, how can I be the companions of the Prophet? So I said, number one, who is close to Him, who runs his errands and be so horrible as to disrespect the people's privacy? So then he says, I respect disrespect the out of the Muslims, Allah, Allah, Allah is going to send it out and reveal and mentioned me with the hypocrites. So he feared to return to the Prophet said lamb, who will tell him that he is a hypocrite. So he ran away, out of fear, he ran away. So the problem waited for him for hours. And he waited from one period to the next. And then he started to ask about him as the days went by. And then the problem would ask to have you seen that and then days passed, so he sent

00:42:08--> 00:42:46

honorable hottub and Silmaril ferrosi to go look for him in the streets of Medina. So they came back they said, Oh prophet of Allah, we search for him in the roads, the markets and the metals, and we couldn't find him. Perhaps we'll come back to the puzzle and waited. And then after a while, again, he said, Yeah, Mr. PSL man, go and look for him in the outskirts of Medina. So they went, and they came to a set of mountains between Mecca and Medina, where some nomads were hurting their goats. So they were the Nomad saw that they were looking for something. So they asked them, are you looking for something? They said, we're looking for a boy, his description is this and that. So they said,

00:42:46--> 00:42:51

perhaps you're looking for an fettle. But perhaps you're looking for the young man who's always crying.

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I don't know about that. But we're looking for a boy who's this tall. And this is his confliction. And he looks like this and that. So then,

00:43:01--> 00:43:45

but what about this young boy you're talking about? And he says, on the other side of this mountain, is a young man who for 40 days, we hear nothing from him, but crying and Esther thought. So I'm gonna ask one does he come down? He said, they said, he comes down when the sunsets, he comes to us, we give him a little bit of milk. So he drinks it while he's mixing his tears with it, meaning while he's drinking, still crying, and then he goes up to the mountain again while he's crying. So then, how can we see him this is one of the sunsets. So Ron Morehead and Selma della Han, who they hit, and when the sunset, the album Nando de la Anna, who came down, looking sad and dejected, his head

00:43:45--> 00:44:22

lowered the tears running down his face, and he has lost a lot of weight. So he came to the Arab and they gave him some milk. So he takes it to bring it to his mouth. And he begins to cry so much that he couldn't drink. And then finally he drinks what he could, and he turns to go back to the mountain. So then I'm on 711, Homer came to him. And when he saw them, he was so scared. He says, What do you want from me? They said, the prophet SAW Selim wants you. He says, What does he want from me? He said, I don't know. This is a law review. I asked about me. We don't know. Has Allah mentioned me with the hypocrites? He said, we don't know. He says people please do not embarrass me

00:44:22--> 00:44:37

and lead me to die alone on the side of this mountain. So they said well, we won't leave you. So he struggled, but they took him back to Medina. And it took him to his home and he was crying harder than ever. So then um, I went and told the prophets of Salaam we found that I never

00:44:38--> 00:44:49

said Where did you find him said we found him on the side of a mountain. And he's at home now you can visit him if you like. So the prophets of Allah seldom went and entered upon him.

00:44:50--> 00:44:59

And when he saw the prophet SAW Selim, he was so scared and he screamed out Yeah, Rasul Allah. Enza La Via ad has Allah revealed a lot about me personally.

00:45:00--> 00:45:41

Said Kenda said no, as Alan mentioned with the hypocrites, said no. So then he cried, he increased in crying, and the progress and then sat near him. And he took his head and he put it on his bus upside down. So then he cried, and he said, Oh prophet of Allah remove ahead, that is full of sins and friends question from your thought, I am lesser and not deserving. The President said no. So during the process, I asked him, he said, Yes, at another Moto G, what do you wish for? And he said, I wish for the mercy of Allah subhanaw taala. And he asked him, then what are you afraid of? He says, I am afraid of the punishment of Allah. And he says, When I looked at the men, and what do you

00:45:41--> 00:46:00

hope, what do you wish for? He says, to me, not that I wish for the forgiveness of Georgia. So the process, then made the offer him while he's crying, saying is still fairly out of sort of law, ask forgiveness for me or prophet of Allah suddenly thought about the law and who he jolted, he shook. So the Prophet said lamb,

00:46:01--> 00:46:41

he says to the process, I feel as though ants are walking between my flesh and my bones, like something's walking between my flesh and bones. So the President said, Did you do that against Allah? Do you feel that? He said, Yes, he says that his death is coming too. So then he kept saying that she had stopped for Allah, Allah until the soul left his body. So then when he died, the prophets of Allah sent them washed him and covered him and let the prayer over him. And while they were carrying him to the cemetery, the problem was walking behind his body, but he was walking on the tip of his toes as if it were very, very crowded. So then our sister Humira, sudo, la Tam, she,

00:46:41--> 00:46:59

Allah trata de make one so bad. Oh, look, you're walking on the tip of your toes. But the people have given you a lot of room faces, Your Honor. We may Allah have mercy on your honor. Well, I do not find a place to put my foot because of how the angels are crowding me over him.

00:47:01--> 00:47:24

Brothers and sisters in Islam, and so the law and has said that, he says to the generation after the companions, you imagine certain things to be more insignificant than a straw, something like a straw, which is very insignificant. But at the time of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, we used to count them among those things that can destroy a man.

00:47:25--> 00:48:02

And in this story is that Oliver, ignore the law. And he did something he gazed, he took against, but it became so much of a weight that sin. And this is something that so many people have taken for granted, looking at images of women in magazines, on television, on the internet, and people have become so used to it, that they don't even think about it. How many people think of lowering their gaze from the newscaster. They look at the news, they watch the news, you're watching the news. But there's a there's a woman who has a lot of makeup and you're looking at her the whole time. People don't even remember to lower their gaze.

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A believer treats a sin as if it were a mountain over his head that may fall on him any moment where a regular sinner looks at them, like a fly that sat on his nose, and he waved it away with his hat.

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The believer that the sin is like a mountain that's gonna fall on you any minute. But for the person whose sins normally sits on your nose, you go like this, and it's gone.

00:48:29--> 00:48:46

And that's why then lowering the gaze, things like that, if you will have become so used to looking at things that are hot on that's why the President said beware of minor sins for the add on until they destroy a man like that they'll conclude in the next few minutes. We just want to talk about

00:48:48--> 00:48:53

lowering the case. Allah Subhana Allah says in the Quran condominio do mean upside to him.

00:48:55--> 00:48:57

escalon Allah.

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Allah azza wa jal says concerning lowering the gaze and look at the connection here, say to the living to the believing men, they should lower their gaze and guide their private parts that will make for greater purity for them. Look at how Allah connects lowering the gaze and then guarding the private parts, because that is conducive to something happening, lowering the gaze will is conducive to you guarding your private parts.

00:49:26--> 00:49:30

And the just quickly about lowering the gaze.

00:49:32--> 00:49:41

That first of all, a shift shoulder some time and Josie harmala he comments about lowering the gaze, he says the first thing it is something commanded. And

00:49:42--> 00:49:59

the second is that it frees your heart from regrets. So when you keep looking at things that you can't have any so if a man keeps looking at beautiful women, they keep having this regret that they cannot have a wife of even the people who are married, who keep looking, they start to feel regret and they start to see

00:50:00--> 00:50:16

They have as lesser than what they see in the magazine. Lowering the give give gaze gives the heart strength. And it leads to a happiness that's greater than the happiness of looking. So when people look at something or that's haraam, they, they feel this kind of

00:50:19--> 00:50:26

sampling pleasure. But when you don't look, you get greater pleasure because you obeyed Allah azza wa jal in that

00:50:27--> 00:50:51

and it also closes the door lowering the gates closes a door to the Hellfire, because you know, the Hellfire is surrounded with desires. And, of course of the remedies are to get married, and to fast and I know I'm abbreviating and it because of the brevity of time, but to get married, the cures and to fast and to look down, some it's unrealistic to expect

00:50:52--> 00:51:18

you to lower your gaze or to not look at women if you're walking around, always looking up. So you're going to catch a glimpse here and a glimpse there and the glimpse might be a little bit too long. So you look down at the lovely Massoud had a neighbor for many years. We used to always lower his gaze while he's walking. He doesn't want his eye to catch something that's Haram. So he used to walk while he's looking down. So brothers try that while you walk, keep looking down. And

00:51:19--> 00:51:43

he had a servant girl, when he used to come and knock the house knock on the door should open. He's always looking down. So it's not to glance something into the house of his brother and the serving girl for so many years. For nine years. He was a neighbor. She thought he was blind because he never looked up. And she would come to Abdullah road and say your blind friend is here. And he would laugh because the man is not blind. But out of this modesty he's always looking down

00:51:48--> 00:51:48

five

00:51:50--> 00:52:06

I think I've went gone way over the top there a lot of time anyways. So that asked us to make use of those who lower the gaze and who were repentant and feel the weight of their bad deeds, and ask them to forget to forgive our sins and towards this with paradise portofolio Heather was talking about

00:52:08--> 00:52:09

solomo barichara Muhammad

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Ali Baba