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The Deen Show Modesty

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Kamal El-Mekki

Channel: Kamal El-Mekki

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salam alaikum Peace be with you. Thank you for tuning in to another episode of the deen show. We're here every week trying to help you understand the most Miss understood way of life in the world today, Islam, yet is the fastest growing way of life in the world. This is a fact.

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And we cover serious topics. This is a serious show. And thank you for tuning into the show. So when I come back, we're going to talk about modesty. shyness. Many of us have gone away from this nature to be shy. You go to the supermarket, the billboards, half naked women all over there. You look at Beyonce, Britney Spears, just full naked. And then the young ones are emulating the older ones. And next thing you know, you're buying your six year old seven year old daughter

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clothes that match them. And you're forgetting about shyness and modesty. And that is what we're going to be discussing today. With my next guest. That's right, he's back here on a diesel shake. Come out. Mackey We'll be right back on the show. This is the theme

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to

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this is the

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this is the

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this is the

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route to LA please be with you. Exactly. Hi, Sam. Now look, check this out. Check this out. Look, we cater to a lot of not yet Muslims. Now they see this on your head. And they wonder, is he one of those guys? Is he one of the people that are trying to bring harm to us? Is he one of those from Al Qaeda? Is he one of these people 911 and they're getting freaked out so we want the truth to be able to penetrate but one alleviate assuage any fears going on.

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You know what? It's just, it's more cultural and traditional. It's not really religious. You're not in the gang? No, no, not really, if I were, I would be the gang leader, though. But you know, I'll tell you something. A lot of times, even with Muslims in the West, they think like what I'm wearing now is like the Islamic garment. It's not, it's just a cultural garment. And that's why a lot of times I wear a suit and tie like you're doing or wear jeans and a shirt and people be like, Oh, you're not dressed islamically Well, that isn't Islamic anyways, but people associated with being Islamic. And sometimes when you give a lecture you put it on because people expect that of you. But

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not because it's really in Islamic attire or anything like that. Some people you go to certain places, and if you don't look like them, you don't dress like them. You don't sound like them. We don't want them moslems over here. So they see you. And it sounds like the same people who are telling certain people to get to the back of the bus, the same kind of racism. Do you feel that? This is kind of the same thing we're talking about? Well, it certainly sounds the same different style, but it's the same thing happening. Yeah. And you know, it's interesting that for our history in the United States, there's always a group that's that suppressed, you know, and you know, first

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it was the Native Americans then it became the during the World Wars the you know, the Japanese Japanese and it became the and maybe it still is the African Americans. One actually one African American civil rights leader. He said that, you know, the Muslim is the new Negro. The Muslim is Yeah, so you're actually a negro.

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So we they went from now you hating on the Japanese, you're hating on the Native American hating on the the African American, but now you're hating on all of them, because a Muslim is one who acquires peas by submitting to the owner peas, and Muslims are white, black, yellow, or above all the above. Yeah, but this hate, gotta stop doesn't it needs to stop. And this isn't this isn't the way and this isn't why a lot of the immigrants that came to America, they came under the pretense, you know, thinking that that wouldn't exist in America. So it's unAmerican if I can, if I could say that, you know, and even though before we get to our main topic, even those who have this, this hatred, this

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racism, I have trust, that they can change because if some of the harshest enemies of Islam back then and simply Islam is to acquire peace by submitting to the one God, right, this is what it means. So even those opponents of Islam way back then they accepted Islam when they just got to open their heart and mind and were exposed to it, right. I mean, I don't want to repeat jokes on your show, but I think I said this before, when it was Halloween, and when it was Friday, and I was going to Friday prayer, which is around noon, so I was dressed like this, and this old lady is walking her dog and she saw me and she said, Oh, you're starting early. So she thought this was my Halloween

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costume, you know? So I'm sure now they're laughing and

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You know, it's someone even the the biggest hater, he's got a smile on his face. So we kind of, you know, melt in his heart. But if I might say Mashallah, you look very nice. Like you can't see it, but I see it, there's newer, coming light coming on family trying to keep up with you. That's a lot. So let's start now let's do it. You go into the supermarket, and bam, it's in your face. Right? Bam, it's over here, you turn over here stuck to the law, you got to turn, man, you can't look nowhere. It seems like more and more people are going away from shyness from modesty, it's not the cool thing. You got to show more rather than less What is going on? Excellent. You know, let's first the

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define it right. So modesty in Arabic is higher, right. And the word higher in Arabic is actually a little bit more than modesty. It's it has bashfulness in it, it has modesty in it. And it also has in it self respect. If you respect yourself, and you don't want to humiliate yourself in front of a lot in front of other people and in front of yourself, then you'll have this type of higher self respect, humility. Yes, absolutely. So it's a mixture of all these things put together. And you know, very, very useful, all of them have valuable meanings. So the the thing is that, yes, everyone's supposed to have modesty. But I'll tell you, even now, amongst Muslims, they see that if

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you're modest, that you're not one of the words they use that you're not, you know,

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you know, like, in your face, yes, you're not, you're not you don't take control of things. You're not you don't take the initiative because this guy has modesty. So people confuse it with having weak personality and the confusion with a lot of things, and I hope inshallah, in this episode, we can clear some of that fog and show now how do we get people to realize that, you know, showing less is better than showing more. And it starts at an early age in elementary schools out of the public schools. You know, what, if you're not, it seems like it's not cool. If you're showing more you got, you know, this out here, and that up there, then you know what, now you're getting the boys

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attention. And now like the one who's not showing she's modest, she's shocked. She's not getting the attention. So now, you know, we fall into the trap. But what is Islam? What is the way of God what it does, this is what God wants for for you to just be just selling out and showing everything out there for just $1 for the money? Absolutely not. And you know, this is one of the problems right? First of all, when this is one of the things that psychologists say about it, even non Muslims, they're saying that when a woman is taught that her value is related to her sexuality, then she does everything to promote her sexuality, to dress seductively to act seductively to be promiscuous,

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because she learned that that's her value in society. And this is what women learn. Now, you know, they dress skimpily, so that men can appreciate them and, you know, whistle at them and harass them in that way. And you know, in magazines, they want to sell a movie, you put a scene in it with a woman, you want to sell a magazine, you put a woman on the cover, even things are totally unrelated, you put a woman in the commercial to sell it. So then the woman has come down to a level of being a commodity pushing device or object more so than, you know, human being with value. One of the interesting things and you'll see, and your viewers will see how this is so true. We know if a woman

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enters a room, if it's a board meeting, whatever it is that she has to do presentation and she enters in with, you know, scantily clad and she's showing her body parts, the men in the room will never appreciate her intelligence. First, she will walk in as an object, she's not going to walk in, they're going to say, Oh, she looks intelligent. They're going to look at her as a sexual object. And then maybe if she's smart, she can impress them. And they will think oh, she's also smart. But first they only see her as an object. And this is one of the problems you find that in the West, a lot of times, men can, like the society cannot take a woman who is a feminist. As a leader, they

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cannot accept her as a leader. And if you look at it, most of the times the leaders, the female leaders in the West are very androgynous is the word they they use, because it means that they have male characteristics like they were either these suits, you know, the female suit, I don't know what they call it. Yes, they have short hairstyles, and the list I mean, Margaret Thatcher in the UK, short hair, stoic as they described her, not me. Yes, Hillary Clinton short hair again. They describe her as in a cold and stoic Condoleezza Rice against short hairs a pattern here, Janet Reno, if you recall is Saturday night love these to constantly make fun of her as a man generally knows a

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man constantly while they're doing Yeah, because they can only they can accept an F and a feminine woman in a leadership position, because to them, bit has been trained with movies and magazines, she's just a sexual sexual object. But when a woman, you know, looks more masculine, not my words again, then they can accept her because the feminine woman is just an object. So the woman has become nothing but an object now, and that's why the subject of hair is so much more important. Now we know that Islam, which causes a person to acquire peace, and I keep saying this, because a lot of times many of the viewers have heard it, but

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There's a good chance and I know that there's 1000s of new not yet Muslims that tune on, they hear this Arabic word. What's this all about? This is some new religion. Now this is the same way of life that was lived by all and taught by all the messengers of God submit to the one God, your will, to His will. So along with that call, then the development of your character being the best human being that you can be. And now this we're talking about today, that shine is that modesty that is escaping us. Right? How do we get it back? Well, that's that's the question of the day, right? How do you get it back? And of course, the good thing is, you can get it back. Because if you couldn't get it back

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Alo wouldn't command it. Have you? Yeah. So have,

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you know, a number of things. And so many excellent examples. You know, they describe the process of settling because now even Muslim men think is only for the woman. Yeah, I don't have to have higher. I don't have to be modest and shy and bashful and humble. And you know, so what are the described the process settlement, that he was the most modest amongst us. And he was more shy, more bashful than a virgin girl, on the first night of her wedding. I mean, you can imagine how this description how she would be so bashful, the person more bashful than her, and this is a man and a leader, and the general and the courageous man, but still, he had this quality. And then the rest of the nation

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says that and if he disliked something, we could see it immediately in his face. So it's not just for women, men, all sorts was to have higher meaning. They're supposed to be shy or have modesty, be bashful as well, you know, and have the self respect. So it's not just for the woman, something that's equality of a believer. So we're gonna take a break and we'll be back with more. We'll share Kamala McKee here on the deen show. Not afraid.

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Not afraid.

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I'm not afraid.

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I'm not afraid.

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I'm not afraid.

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I'm not afraid.

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The Quran says don't kill women don't kill children don't kill the old people don't attack the civilians. This is what the prophet Mohammed told

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us. law says that the prophets are solid never ever stopped a war against anybody.

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So if you find yourself your Eman is going down, check yourself.

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There is nothing to be worship except Allah alone. You got some serious?

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bobbing your head your 50 cents or?

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No, it's common sense. Don't do things that can hurt people.

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Lady Gaga, boo boo and all that other nonsense.

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bullying, backbiting, slandering, and subsistence as smoking.

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says we'll see what happens to Eddie on the deen show.

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And we hold it down on his show. Make sure you're tune back here on the dean show with shift command and mechi Thank you for finding the time. It's always always a pleasure to have you on the dean show. Well, you know, it's my pleasure. And I'm I'm always here for one thing and one thing only right. And that's the whole did down on the dean show. Early. Our

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that was one of our guests. Absolutely. The other that brother also like many of them, we've had Napoleon from the outlaws to parks crew former coup Loon. And then from Jay Z's out these people are coming to Islam they come to the realization that you know what, all this money in glamour and glitz is not where it's at. Islam is where it's at. It's cool to be a Muslim. Doing all the good at the creator's called us to do, it's the new block.

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So tell us now tell us now tell us look at is loaded. Okay, we're gonna start and give some practical examples of the shyness, let's say for the man, you know, you go into from a young age to try to throw all the men together in a shower naked, you know, or you just shirt off and you flex in here and every you know, everything is showing. So now you go up in a culture that's doing that. Alright, what does Islam call you to do? And now the person that's listening is gonna be like, you know what, that makes more sense. Right? And, and just would kind of we touched on earlier that when you have higher when you have modesty and shyness and bashfulness it's not that you now have a weak

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personality, or that you're scared of people or that you're not courageous enough, or you're not confrontational. It's actually because people miss they confuse it with and I don't think you're weak because last time you talked about 500 on the bench, oh, that's easy. Nothing.

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So So the idea is this. That

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Prophet sallallahu Sallam told us in a hadith he said alpha Ne t elisabetha basically means that nothing except good comes out of modesty. Yes to no bad comes out of it whatsoever only good comes out of it. So if you think that, you know, higher means you'll you'll get your rights trampled upon people will push you around, you're missing. You're confusing what it is. That's not what it is to have modesty to have bashfulness and that's what we always tell sisters, you know, you're supposed to have higher, right? And then they tell you things like Why should I be afraid of the man, you know, you know, he looks. He looks at me in the eye and I supposed to lower my gaze, I'll stare him

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down. You know, if he wants to fight with male fight back, he wants to exchange bad words. That's not what we're saying. We're not saying let your rights be trampled upon. We're saying don't lose your hire in the process of regaining your rights. Yes, which is how it's supposed to be. One of the fantastic examples is that Avaya shuttle gala and how the wife of the prophet SAW signal. So the first alarm when he passed away, he was buried in what they called her apartment or her room.

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Then the first his successor, the first halifa, Kayla Booker passed away and he was buried in her room as well. So she narrates she said I used to be in a relaxed about what I wear, because I would say it's my husband and my father who were buried in there so I wouldn't have to wear the hijab things like that as I entered in the room she said then when Omar are the law and who the successor of the successor when he was buried companions now so they know that and this was the second Caleb in Islamic history can you compare to like president Yeah, exactly like the leader leader. So then when when he passed away and he was buried in her room she said I could not come in uncovered she

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had she said I would cover up properly out of hire from almost shyness Can you imagine that out of shyness from a dead person who is buried underground but yet this is the kind of hire that she had. This is the mother of the believers I show the role model for the Muslim woman. Now of course people who don't have heart will see it as it will that doesn't make any sense. But for those who have had it, it makes perfect sense. Now look, look if you're in a situation a Muslim man and we'll go to the woman the Muslim man, now you know sometimes you're in an awkward situation and say you're at the gym and you know that you turn around and it just normal the person just be bam, just everything's

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out there. A Muslim he hides his privates, hides his his private areas to explain this, how should it like you go and running? For instance, as part of shyness, what should you be covering? You know, the show your thighs and your No, no speedos and, you know, run in and talk to us. Excellent. Well, for the man, it's for him to cover from his navel all the way up to his knees. No one needs to see the privates. Exactly your wife. Exactly. Absolutely. And, you know, one of the things is that people argue things, they say things like, well, it's natural for you to be uncovered because you were born uncovered. You were born naked. So what's the problem? What we say to that is that there's

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actually a very strong link between your Eman which is your, your belief in Allah as origin, and your, your higher your modesty and your bashfulness. And if you if someone were not that I recommend this, but if someone were to interview people at let's say, a nudist camp, you will find that most of them probably don't have much in mind anyways. Or they'll have a belief in Allah or they're probably atheists or something of that sort. So the true relationship is that what is natural is for the human being to cover the private part not to uncover because if we go back to the story of Adam and Eve, the first thing they did when they discovered that they were anatomy, the first man at

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first woman, yes, great example, when they sinned, then they realized that they were naked. Yeah, the first thing the first action that they did after discovering they were naked was to try to cover they try to cover the nakedness right? Great exact is so that means the natural thing is to cover your private parts not to uncover them. Yeah. As they want are your kids were born naked? What do you intend to be born in suits and ties and stuff?

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came out of the Versace lawsuit, he'll cry, he'll spell out the way he cries. Why does it work? It doesn't work like that. So the thing is that the more natural thing is to cover very interesting just to throw this in the word hour, which is the word for private part in Arabic, it actually means something that's shameful. So it's natural to cover it up, you know, even little children is sometimes you know, four or five years old, you uncover them, they say no, no, you know, people will see me because it's natural to want to cover the private part not uncover, which is basically when you know, kind of the calls that we've started hearing after the sexual revolution in the late 60s

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and early 70s. After that, people started to call to that and, and equate that with liberation. So if you're covered, you're oppressed. This like how they assume Muslim woman because they're covered. They're oppressed by men, and that's why they're covered. But if you're uncovered, you're liberated. And you'll have some problems, very clear problems with that argument, right? Because that means if you were in any amount of clothing, even if it's very skimpy, you're still not fully liberated. Yeah. So the argue argument would be why don't you fully liberate yourself? You know, there was actually one time a speaker who was giving a lecture, and then a non Muslim woman came in and she

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started pointing at the

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The Muslim woman that were covered, and she was yelling at the speaker, why are they covered like that? assuming you're oppressing them, that's why they're covered. Yeah. So he said, Well, you were born naked. Why are you clothed right now? Wow. And she said, modesty, and she just chose the right word. Yes, she said modesty. He said, Well, modesty, more modest modesty, more modesty. That's the argument. And that just goes with nature. I mean, if you're covered because of modesty, if that means if they're covered more, it's more modesty. Yes. And uncovering doesn't mean liberation. No, it just means lack of modesty. That's all it means. I really think you know, because we have the

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chief deceiver. And people forget, I mean, that you have this devil, and the satanic forces. And he's pimping people that he's working day and night, to pimp the man to pimp the woman. And by going away from the guidance of the crater, he's pimping. You take it off, take it all off. Absolutely. Yes. And now you just become a commodity. You're just a toy for the man. Exactly. Isn't that so true, is very true for and it is getting worse and worse every time. You know, in the 1920s. In America, if a woman were wore pants, that was there was an uproar. It was they weren't even allowed to actually. So but then, you know, the standards become worse and worse and worse and worse, the

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more you go back, isn't it, they wouldn't show a lot of the things that are unsure on the TV, you know, right, the security, all the just horrific things that you see, you go back in a woman what they had to cover their arms into law skirt, this is in America, but I'll tell you something interesting, like, like, early in, in the 50s and 60s, even before that, the argument that the liberals were making is that, you know, people will will fornicated commit Zina and do wicked deeds, so long as you forbid them from it. So they're using the forbidden fruit argument. As long as you forbid, people, they're gonna do that. But if you allow it, people are going to take it easy, and

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they're just going to leave it. And so the conservatives today they argue, they said, Look, now things have gotten worse. You said, if we allow people to do what they want to do, it's going to get people are going to take it easy and just forget about it, it's not going to become in the forefront of their mind. But the opposite has happened now, because people allow the little bit of promiscuity, they allow someone to show this much of this their hand and then that much of their like, it got worse today, the standards have become a lot worse. So it's the opposite of the forbidden fruit argument, which they also use, for example, they tell you in in Sweden, the teenage

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pregnancy rate is much lower than in the United States. Right. And they say because in at an early age, they teach the kids in school about contraceptives, and this and that, and so on. And that's why we should do the same thing in America. Because you know, there's some stigma and they don't discuss it openly. And so therefore people do it, and then they have teenage pregnancies. That kind of solution is not acceptable in Islam, because in the end, you still have youth committing Zina. Yeah, sin is not acceptable. It's not about whether or not they use, you know, protection or concert contraceptives, it's about the act of Xena fornication, fornication, so it's not acceptable. So this

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is some of the problems you know, people try to make arguments like that, but they don't work. Let's, we're gonna take a break there. signaler we got to go for a break. We'll be right back with more on the dean show one guy from alone, do what he wants you to do. Put your desires this thing inside you that just wants this and wants that and you just can't get enough. You know what, you never get enough until the dirt in your mouth. Don't let it come to that this is Sierra honest, as the one who created you to guide us the first hotel, chasing all the women and the good times and the parties and this and that there's no one worthy of worship except Allah. Don't wait. You never

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know this would come today for you.

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Back here on the deen show. And again, we are really stressing that this way of life. Islam calls to everything good. And a sincere person who's not wanting to follow their lusts and desires. I don't think anyone the father does looking at his daughter. He don't want no googly eyed man all over his daughter, and trying to molest her with his eyes and you want to protect was so precious to you. You don't like people touching your car. But now that girl goes out? And what's the first thing on the mind of the man? That's how it is. But now what's Islam saying? Protect the most valuable things are women. Can you elaborate again, I mean, just this is the ration out and talk about please how we

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worry about our money and our cars and all these things. But how Islam, right? It really puts the women to such a high level of this

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way that would really like protected from all this evil. And I think you said it best, anything that's valuable. You protect it, you cover it, you typically cover the valuable thing, right? So you know, even women, their most valuable jewelry item is covered. They don't put it out in the dining table, you know, or in on the dashboard of the car. It's covered. It's protected. Anything that's due to cover and you protect it and so you know the

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chastity, the modesty that all these things, the beauty of the woman, it's supposed to be protected. Therefore, it's supposed to be covered. When it's not covered many bad things happen in society, the way men look at women, and this is something that has happened now in North America. And I don't know how many, if we were to reverse it, it would take decades to transfer this image of how women have become in the minds of men. They just become like targets, you know, yeah. And they talk about them also like items like objects, not as human beings. And that's why you know, to show the importance of higher and the the prophets of Salaam, he described that he man belief and and Allah

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has 70 odd branches, many branches, the highest of which is to say that it is a law that no God is worthy of worship, except Allah alone. The lowest level is to remove an obstacle or an obstruction from the road. So then, but notice, he said, there are 70 odd branches of him. And then he gives only one year of faith translated faith or faith or belief, right? Then he gives only one example. And he said, Well, higher, better, amen. Amen. And modesty is one of the branches of Amen. So very quickly, the scholars say, Why did he only give that one example, they say, because if you have this one characteristic modesty, you will get everything else. So our sisters in humanity are sisters in

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Islam, this goes back again, to shyness, coming back to shyness, and then naturally, you're going to want to observe the hijab, and you're going to want to implement all the good that the creator's told us to do the complete shyness. Absolutely. And is this, you know, for the sisters Also, we're having a hard time with the hijab, what advice do you give to them? You know, the reminder is that and I know we're running out of time, but one of the scholars have categorized modesty or shyness into six different types, but one of the most important ones is having shyness with Allah subhanaw taala. You know, people will use bad words in, but they're ashamed to use it in front of an elderly

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person, but they're not ashamed to use in front of Allah, those smoke, they can hide it from the Imam, or from the religious leader in the local community, but they don't hide it from Allah, you know, a woman will uncover in front of her father, maybe she has another outfit to make them think she's dressed well, but in front of Allah, she's not dressed well, it's for the bleeding man and woman to constantly remember the fact that Allah Subhana, Allah is watching. And you should be more shy of Allah than you are of other individuals that you held in high regard, you know, and that's one of the scholars say that sometimes the sin you're committing, or the fact that you don't care

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that Allah sees you committing a sin can be worse than the sin itself that you're committing. That's deep. That's deep last minute last minute so just some some some examples now, shyness in the way you speak, not using curse words, saying good things what I was dressing properly, talking properly, acting properly, what is it in dealings with in everything in business dealings? Yeah, because some people tell you, you know, you know, you've heard the saying businesses business, meaning businesses business, I can be cutthroat, I could be rude to you. But then after that, we can go get dinner together, what doesn't work doesn't work like that. Because your good manners is a constant. It's

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something that's constant, not something that you do whenever you're in a good mood, or you can turn off your good manners because we're in a business meeting. No, so it's constant. So higher and everything in speech, in dealings in dressing in behavior in walking and everything with your parents everything gun shy, being modest is what Islam is calling us to. Thank you very much my pleasure it Allah rewards you. Thank you very much. And thank you again, again, you you've got to learn something new. We've always stressed the call to worship just the Creator, not as creation, character development. And then China's you got to learn about China's is something again, that just

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goes with your with your nature and everything. If you investigate Islam, you'll see that everything you learn, it just makes sense. It's not something that's weird. You're not doing something that's way out there bizarre, something mystical and only, you know, esoteric, we're just a few people understand this. Islam is something that's from the Creator. So it's got to make sense. And I'm sure if you have an open heart open mind, you know, this makes sense. So if you'd like to learn more, call the number on the screen one 800 662. It's not visit us here every week, on the deen show. We also have the new radio show. At the dish show calm. You can also pick up our new DVDs and share

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this message of peace, peace acquired by submitting your will, to the will of the One God Islam. We'll see you next time peace be unto you is the leader. One of the beautiful things about our religion of Islam is the emphasis on direct ritual and prayer to God directly. There is no intermediary the lights will go on after the party and the party will end. It's very simple and very clear. There are no superstitious rituals, no strange incantations the Time's running out. We might now make it till tomorrow. And this is something that we need to think about. No speech is better than to do that. call people to Allah and to do the word no speech is better. No nothing.

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But is it true that if one person on the log giving you the ability to guide someone, the last permission to create is permission that is better than everything in this world, but in the whole world and everything that's in it in another generation, it's better than the best of world. But if we really felt that Edie would we not make it out. And this is something that we encourage all the MSA, all the dour organizations, the mustards, forget this we want to print more we give these to the non Muslims for free for free for free Warner Brothers in humanity.