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Moderation In Sexuality

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Kamal El-Mekki

Channel: Kamal El-Mekki

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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She'll come out and Mickey he's doing moderation in the sexuality. Social I'm working. She'll come out of Mickey

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smilla hombre Hema hamdulillah hearable alameen wa salatu salam ala rasulillah. Meanwhile early, he was so happy about.

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All right, I must warn you in advance that I don't have this is a serious topic and a serious lecture. So I'm not going to joke about it. Any. And generally, when the topic is like that, obviously, we're not gonna make any jokes. So get the jokes out of the way. Now. I got a Chicago related joke for you.

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So basically, this guy does a wrong number. And a woman picks up. So he likes her voice. You know how it goes over the phone. He likes her voice. He thinks, you know, this might be a good opportunity and stuff. So he tells her it looks meat. So she says, Sure, let's meet and they agreed to meet at a place that sells juice. We sell drinks from juice, things like that. So she said, How am I going to know you?

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He said, I'm going to be holding mango juice at 12 o'clock at this place. And how will I know you? She's I'm gonna wear this, this and that. So he goes to the place. He asked for mango juice. So we don't have mango juice. How is she gonna know me now? Okay, give me any other orange colored juice. Do you have orange juice? No, any other juice that's orange colored. They didn't have it. So in the end, he got some lemonade. So how is this gonna work? He's not gonna recognize me. So then she comes in wearing what you said she was gonna wear and she recognized it was her. But he found out that she was extremely ugly.

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So he's like, I didn't have mango juice.

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So she comes to him. And she she finds him the only guy standing there holding juice. He comes in. She's like, Are you kidding? He's like, What? Are you really? Who know? Not only like, actually we spoke on the phone, I recognize your voice. It's you. You're early. He's like, what's the matter with you woman? Does this look like mango juice to you?

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Alright people. Now let's get serious.

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Okay, the lecture, so moderation, sexuality or the other title also celibacy and free love and this is exactly or more so what I'm going to talk about celibacy and free love. And celibacy, of course, is one, someone vows to not get married and to stay and remain single. And of course, celibacy does not exist in Islam at all, there is no such thing. There is no such practice, you do not draw nearer to Allah subhanaw taala by being celibate. And even at the time of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam one of the companions wanted to take a vow of celibacy, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam forbade him from that. So that doesn't exist. But of course, it's more popular today. And we know

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it. Well. As far as our context here in the West. We know it because of Christianity specifically. And I wanted to talk about a little bit of the history behind that and how those thoughts developed in Christianity, even though we're, we're, we're trying to talk about it from the Islamic aspect. But um, I am going to go over the history and the development of that thought in Christianity, because it will help you understand a lot of the things that you see today, inshallah. So how did it start in Christianity, it started when the contemplated the situation of Jesus esala, Hassan, and they saw that Jesus did not get married, that he remained a bachelor for his entire life. So when

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they saw that the best, their role model and the best of them, he said, he said, um, Jesus did not get married, they saw that perhaps this is the best choice because if he is the best amongst them, and he made the choice to remain celibate and not get married, then perhaps that's a good thing. As an extension of that they started to see sexual relations between a man and a woman, obviously, even a man and his wife as a bad thing. And that's what if you look at you know, early Christian writers and theologians, they would always talk about it as only for procreation. That's something you do only if you want children, not for enjoyment, not for anything like that. So now, I want you to

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follow how these thoughts keep developing. It started off just from the fact that a salad salad was never married, then it got to the idea that it must be a bad thing and you only do it

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If you want children and not for enjoyment or anything else, so then as a result of that they saw women as evil because of that. And they also if you look at it, the story of Adam and Eve in the garden and everything, if you look at it biblically, all the blame is put on the woman. Well, when you look at it in Islam, that's not the case. Allah Subhana. Allah says in the Quran, and Adam disobeyed his Lord, the blame wasn't put on the woman, because Adam was there, and he made the conscious decision.

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So women became evil as a result of that. And that will explain to you a lot of the things behind, you know, women

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being bought and sold or being not allowed to vote, all kinds of things came as a result of that. At the same time, also, they saw that because, because they came to the conclusion that sex is not a good thing.

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They came with the philosophy that heaven is spiritual, and not physical as well. And even though in their movies, when they show Heaven, they show it as physical, because it doesn't make sense that it's spiritual, because there's eating and drinking and things like that. And so they had to say that it was spiritual so that they there will be nothing of a sexual nature in Paradise, because if it's a bad thing, how could you enjoy a bad thing in paradise? So then, when they came into contact, we're talking about, you know, the, the west or early Christians, when they first came into contact with Islam, they were surprised to find that sex is not regarded as a dirty thing at all. And that

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there's a lot of, it's mentioned in the Quran, you know, enjoying, you know, the wife, and even in that ayah those if it's in the middle of talking about the decaf, and Ramadan. So it's just very, you know, easily and he put there this is like, there's nothing wrong with it, that 71 virgins in Jenna when you know, which caused problems for people, so they're saying, so then the the were and then they saw the multiple wives that the Muslim is allowed to have the multiple wives of the Prophet sallahu wa sallam. And so they started to say that the Muslims are oversexed. And those of you who are old enough, you if you ever watched movies from the 70s, and from the 80s, they always

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showed the Arab guy as this crazy guy with big googly eyes and bad T and he is always looking for the women. Always. l the old movies are guys just looking for women, you know, and always trying to offer a She's a nice woman he comes how much is always offering to buy the woman. They always portrayed him as oversexed that was related to this, because they used to see it as a bad thing. And even the the early Christians when they first encountered hijab, they said that the Muslim men are so oversexed that the woman have to cover themselves like that. Otherwise, they're going to be attacked. These are some of the ways they understood it, you see all these thoughts and how it

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started off with the simple idea, because a Saudi Sallam did not get married.

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So then,

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in the early days, they would look at the Muslims and say, You guys are oversexed and so on and so forth. Then what happened, they experience what is known as the sexual revolution, which some argue it started as early as the Enlightenment period in the Victorian period. But for the most part, it started in the 1960s. And then in 1970s, where

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people became a little bit more or less, I don't know, the best word would be loose or relaxed as far as sexuality in amongst amongst people and homosexuality as well. So now, when that happened, we went through that change. Now they started to look at the Muslims, and say that you don't do that enough. Now, the hijab became a problem. And this now will explain to us and to the sisters, especially why people have an issue with hijab today, it goes back to that philosophy, and you might meet someone in the street, who would not appreciate your hijab, but even they might not know why they don't appreciate your hijab, but it goes back to all this history here.

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So then they started to see the Muslims as too strict. When they became very loose. They said the Muslims are too strict. And they would say that hijab is oppression and tell people to take off the hijab, they saw it in the religion, there's no intermingling between the sexes, no shaking hands. So that became an issue. So now basically, we're just accused based on the tides so when the tides were low, you know, you guys are too, you know, excited. And then when the tides became high, you don't do that enough. You need to relax with the hijab and the intermingling and the shaking hands and all that stuff. So

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the first extreme then was was celibacy. And the second extreme the result of it is the society becoming sexually loose. And now of course, today, we hear all kinds of arguments for this, and they are defended, saying you know, as long as it's too

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consenting adults, no harm is done. No harm is done.

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A man and his girlfriend as they say, and they're alone in their apartment, and if they commit Zina, which is fornication, then no harm is done. But the reality is much harm is done and the rights of many will be violated. And for that reason, I wanted to spend some time on the effects of Zina on society. Because even though even good Muslims living in the West, Xena is surrounding them, and by Xena again, we mean fornication, which means an illicit or illegal sexual relationship between a man and a woman. They're not married, that's Xena, or fornication, design he is the male who does that. The zania is the female who does that there's una or is the not R is the plural form.

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So, so they argue with you that no harm happens. And people, even even righteous people who live in these societies where that is rampant, they develop a lack of hatred for Xena. And you know, those who would listen or watch TV or sitcoms, it'd be constant, constant mention of Xena, but they got so used to it, people get so used to it now that they don't cringe when they hear about Xena. And a whole episode of a sitcom will be about committing fornication. And everyone just laughs even righteous people would watch it and laugh and there's nothing wrong with it, they got used to it like that. So you want to take a pause and look at the harmful effects of Zina on society, on

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individuals, on men on women on children. Because there is a lot of harm in it. And Eliza gel doesn't make something haram for no reason. And when Allah makes something forbidden, typically you'll find that there's a lot of evil in it. So the effect of Zener on society in general or as a whole. First of all, many people grow up not knowing who their biological father is, because the mother will have multiple partners will have the villa. So they'll grow up not knowing who their biological father is. And one of the when you study the purposes of the Sharia. Why was Islamic law sent down? One of the purposes of Islamic law is to protect your lineage and to protect the family

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as a unit. So in order to protect the family, Zinner has to become Haram. So many people growing grow up not knowing who their father is. And this is something that's that's not good. And even even non Muslims recognize that this is not a good thing. And once showed that I always reference showing the United States known as Maury Povich. So, okay, so everyone knows that. So this guy, basically, I mean, I doubt he has sincere concern in finding out who the father is, it's probably a ratings issue. But in his show, there will be a woman and she has so many partners will either believe that she doesn't know who is the possible father of her baby. And usually backstage, there are four thugs

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with their pants to their knees, and they're all saying it's not my child, he doesn't look like me and all that. And then he reads the results. And then four of them start dancing and one of them is the one who is very sad and because he's the father

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so even then people are trying to recognize they recognize that it's important for someone to know who their biological father is. And we're gonna come back to that phenomenon of you know, of illegitimate children later on as we go, inshallah. The other thing aids and other venereal and sexually transmitted types of diseases. This is also something that affects society as at large, it affects individuals, but this is something that has a negative effect on the society altogether. And as a, as a side note here, I don't know if that's the deterrent for the Muslim to not commit fornication, AIDS. And I was talking about this billboard that I saw in a Muslim country that shows

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the like, the outline the silhouette of a prostitute, and a car pulling over and it says beware of AIDS. This is in a Muslim country. And is this a good way to tell someone don't commit Zina because you could get AIDS. Or you don't commit Zina, because it's something that's haram that angers Allah subhanaw taala that allows the jail forbade it. But anyways, all these kinds of diseases is one of the results of an A being sexually loose in society.

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Likewise, it's interesting that Zina leads to more Xena, Xena leads to more Zina, once people start committing sin in the society it will increase it will keep increasing and even the age for Xena will keep it will keep decreasing get lower and lower. They told you for example, that 82% of teenage mothers are themselves the daughters of teenage mothers 82% that's very, very high. So 82% of teenage mothers are the daughters of teenage mothers so their their their parent, committed Zina when they were young. They

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did the same thing to generate leads to more Xena, that the the teenage mothers young teenage mothers? or Are the children sorry of these teenage mothers and who don't know who their father is, they are three times more likely to spend time in prison. And even areas where there are a lot of illegitimate children typically have a higher crime rate. Okay, we can also link other crimes to the existence of fornication or is in a in a society for example rape. Can you think of how rape is a result of Xena being a result of a sexually lewd society as well? Can you make that connection in your head?

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Okay, the connection is this. Typically, what Jani and mela protected neither the woman from that. But typically when a woman is raped the majority of the time, is it by a total stranger who attacks her in the park? Or is it someone she knows?

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Someone she knows, right? Right. The majority of rape is known as date rape where the woman knows the man and that's why she was comfortable enough to be alone with him somewhere and things of that sort. So a lot of rape and especially date rape, it goes unannounced. And it's not that people don't report it many times the woman does not report rape. You know why?

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Because it's her word against his. And if there ever is a rape case, you know what the defense will be? You can already guess it right? What's the defense? It was consensual. consensual. Right? The defense is that it was consensual. So the defense for rape now is it was only Xena. You understand?

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Because there's so much Xena. Xena is now used as a way out for rape as if it's nothing wrong with Xena. So now because Xena is rampant. If a woman has raped a toddler No, you were just committing Zina, or because people commit so much Zina that there'll be in situations that will allow rape and facilitate rape. And in the end the blame or the excuses that No, no, it wasn't rape. It was only Xena as if only Xena, Xena, there's nothing wrong with that. So even rape can be linked to having a sexually loose society. And then of course, orphanages, adoptions, abandoned children, children are thrown in the trash, all of that because they were born out of wedlock, there is the shame, there's

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the embarrassment, there is the family will not accept that, obviously. And so you have all of this as a result of a sexually loose society. These are the effects of zinna on a society. on individuals. What it does is that when there's a lot of Zina in society, it creates more sexual deviance, because people are used to having multiple partners and they have all these any throughout their life. So it so they become desensitized to regular things and it gets them to become more deviant. Then it also devalues intimacy. Even later on, these people will have multiple partners when they get married, they find it very hard to stay with one spouse. And it may lead to what they

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refer to now casually as cheating or affairs, things like that. But it's hard for them to be satisfied now with one spouse. So it devalues intimacy. Another thing it does, it decreases Rita. Rita is protective jealousy that a man would have over his daughter that a man would have for his wife that a young man would have for his sister. This is the protective jealousy. But you will find many homes now, where and of course, I'm not talking about Muslim homes where the father or the mother would you know would tell the child you know, as you're going to commit do not use protection. Right. So there is no leader anymore, or the father will know that his daughter is at

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her boyfriend's place or her boyfriend is coming to pick her up or the brother will see his sister's boyfriend come pick her up. So he doesn't have data anymore doesn't have any protective jealousy anymore. And of course, one of the other things that it causes, it causes you to get the Wrath of Allah, Allah, and it causes the hardness of the heart because of course, it's a sin and it's constant sinning.

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So this was now generally we spoke about the effects of Zina on society, generally, in general terms for the individual. Now we want to see some of the effects that has on the woman specifically. And one of the things about the woman is that the woman typically reaches sexual maturity before psychosocial maturity, or let's just call it mental to make it easy. So a lot of women, they are now physically able to handle that before they're mentally able to handle the effects of that. So and just as a side note here, this is a it's a maturity issue. Physically, the woman is able to have a child at a young age without really many companies.

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And the only thing would be like the pelvis has not widened enough to facilitate birth. But typically, the older a woman gets, the more difficult it comes for her to bear to bear children. The younger she is, the easier it is for her to bear children. So the fact that a 13 year old woman can actually have a child, and why did Allah created so that a 13 year old can have a child now, because the 13 year olds in our society today do not mature enough mentally, and they still believe that their children until they're like 18, or even more than that they act like children. So the idea of a child having a child, you know, becomes something that we we find distasteful. But if they were to

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mature at an early age, so if a woman was a mature woman by the age of 15, mentally, and she was already obviously there biologically, then what would be the problem for her to get married, but because in our society, people don't mature fast enough. And we regard them as children for that reason. We see it as something distasteful. Okay, so what happens is for teenage mothers specifically,

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so I'm talking about that they got pregnant as a result of his dinner with a biller, a number of things that they face, one of the things they face social isolation, they are more likely to have low levels of education as a result of the pregnancy, they have higher levels of stress, more common to find depression amongst them, and higher risk of leaving school, which is linked to their lower level of education. And then what another bad thing that happens for the woman. And now you can test this information yourself and see if you've noticed this around you is that the woman believes that sex is all she's valued for. So in order to be valued, she embraces the sexual image and develops it

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further. And that's why you'll find a woman who sees that her only value is sex, she will dress provocatively, all her talk and actions and everything will be to that end or to reflect that. And it's one of the bad things that happens to women. And that's why you see women constantly, they degrade themselves on magazine covers in movies and videos and what have you, because that's what they've learned. This is their, this is their value.

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So this is one thing, it makes this woman now it devalues the woman she becomes a sexual object. And that's why you'll find many times that because the woman is looked at as a sexual object, so much so in the West, that it's hard for people in the west to take a beautiful woman as a leader. And that's why you whenever you find a woman who is in high or powerful positions in the West, he is typically what they refer to as androgynous, meaning she has a male type of appearance, you'll find that you'll have short hair. And you know, she'll act very stoic and be very, like very, like manly kind of behavior.

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Because the society views the more feminine type of woman as a sexual object will never accept them in a leadership position or something like that.

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So

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and then, of course, on the woman again, one of the other effects is abortion. And you know, until now you find people who make these strange arguments, they'll say, you know, why is it that you know, Zina is a worse crime for the woman and not so much for the men. Now, of course, islamically the punishment for Xena is the same for male and female, there's no difference in the punishment. But

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the effects are, are more severe on the woman, if she commits in our name, the man for him, it could be a brief encounter, and he moves on to the next victim, but for the woman, if, let's say and first of all, if the that encounter becomes public, then it's very, it's a very dishonouring and shameful thing for her family more of a shameful thing for our family. They're both shameful. And this is some of the hypocrisy that we have today, where if a man commits Zina, you know, it's okay but when the girl commit Zina, and you know the father, with the help of her brothers will kill her bury her somewhere. And of course, this is not the Islamic ruling, and has nothing to do with Islam. But it's

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even hypocrisy. So the father will know his son has girlfriends and stuff, but when his daughter commits his in it becomes a big deal. And this is the scholars say what was the same name that they used to do in Jay Hillier? The men would accept Xena for themselves, but they wouldn't accept it for the woman. But it's, of course, a bad thing for both. But going back to the burden on the woman, if, as a result of that brief encounter, she becomes pregnant then she can never separate herself from the result of that encounter. Any if she has if she gives birth as a result of that she's

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Forever stuck with that brief encounter, the man moved on. And she is stuck with the first trimester of sickness and then nine months of pregnancy, and then the pain of labor. And if she doesn't throw the child in the trash or give him up for adoption, she has to, basically she's linked to that child until one of them does not if it could be 20 years, 30 years, 40 years, this result of this operation remains with her. Well, that was not the case for the map. That's why it's a bit more severe, it's a lot more severe with the woman. So do not be taken by these strange arguments that we hear today, where they told you why is it that if a woman commits in a, you know, society looks at

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her like this, but if a man does it, he or they're both bad, that is a mistake today, but at the same time, it is more severe on the woman.

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Like on infants, one of the things on the only thing I'm going to talk about is what is known as bonding. And bonding is that relationship, or that strong connection that happens between a mother and the child. And it can also happen between the father and the infant, sorry, not the child but the infant. So during the infancy, this is a very important time, the bonding, which is the strong affection and the relationship that the infant has with the mother. And typically there are a lot of studies that have been done concerning bonding. If the child does not bond properly with the mother. What it does is that it, it can cause a lot of negative things in the child, give you a few

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examples. And he told you the less bonding happens between an infant and his mother, the more likely that that child will not care about the suffering of other people. And actually psychologists will have a chart where they'll show you those who bond a lot will become humanitarians, people who care for others and things like that. And then they'll tell you people who bond less, they might be like serial killers. And of course, the chart will go from the extreme of serial killers to the severe humanitarians, and of course to varying degrees based on the individual. So the serial killers, for example, one of the most famous serial killers Ted Bundy.

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He basically was a handsome and nice looking man is very kind nice man. But he was responsible for murdering over 100 young women. Ted Bundy himself was born to a 14 year old mother. So Ted Bundy was born to a young mother who neglected him as a child, he did not bond with her. And one of the things is that they they discovered this that and he didn't bond well, and he became the result of serial killer. Of course, we're not saying that everyone who is neglected as a child will become a serial killer. But there have been studies done specifically with serial killers. And they found that typically, they will you usually most of the time, the serial killer would hate one or two of his

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parents, or other hate his father or, or he will hate his mother. And or, or he will be, he would have typically been abandoned by one or the other of the parents abandoned by the father, or abandoned by the mother.

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Moving on to the male.

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Typically, they tell you the the young male Yanni, who commits Zina that ends in pregnancy will leave during the pregnancy, or within the first two years after birth. Typically, they don't last very long. And one of the effects as well as as a result of the absence of the father is homosexuality. So now we're even linking homosexuality to a sexually loose society, all this from Xena. And people want to argue, oh, it's just two consenting adults, and who is harmed in the process? Yes, a lot of harm happens in the process. So what's homosexuality have to do with that? homosexuality? As you all well know, it's not a gene. And it's not anything that you're born with,

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or born as, is actually just a mental illness. It has been classified as a mental illness as early as 1938. People always knew there was a mental illness. But why don't people know today that it's a mental illness, because in the late 60s or early 70s, it was removed from the manual of mental illnesses that the psychologist psychologist would put out every year, it was removed because of political pressure.

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The flower power generation, they put a lot of pressure and they removed it from the list of mental illnesses, but it is a mental illness, and people can be cured of it. And there are people today in therapy that people go through and they become cured of it. So when you're cured of something, it's an illness. Now,

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some of the experts in the field say that it's a result of alienation to from males in infancy and from male peers during the rest of

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one's life. So again, if we're looking at this father figure who disappears from the life of this child, the child then grows up in a home where it's this young teenage mother living with her mother or her grandmother taking care of this child and he does not get the the male father figure. So again, even this can be linked to having a sexually loose society. And of course, another thing

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on the family in general, is that the for example, the younger sister, so if there's a cyst is a woman who commits in a in a family, her younger sister is less likely to care about education, and more likely to accept sexual behavior at an early age, the younger brother as well, if the older person is his sister, or brother who commits Zina, the younger brother will will display a high risk behavior and he will become more tolerant of Xena and more tolerant of haram relationships because obviously he sees that happening, sees his older sister with her child and out and he becomes more tolerant of that. And of course, in the family, the Zina and the adultery it it severs

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relationships, sometimes between the parents and the child, other times leading to any killing in these cases or between spouses, it will break up marriages or lead to, to killings as well break up families and lead to killing between the spouses and so on and so forth.

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If all of that was not enough in the earth era, in the next life, there are a lot

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there's a lot of punishment also for this evil sin. Avila, first of all, committing Zina fornication is one of the major sins, it's one of the major sins. The Prophet sallallahu wasallam explained in a hadith that the one who is like who is an alcoholic or addicted to alcohol, if a Muslim is addicted to alcohol when he meets a lot of agile, he will meet a lot on the Day of Judgment, like a mushrik like someone who worships idols. This is someone who consumes alcohol is addicted to it. When he comes on the Day of Judgment he will come like a mushrik in front of a large zodia and sick is the worst thing as you all know, worshipping others besides Allah. Now, the scholars say that Zina is

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worse than alcohol.

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Allah Subhana Allah says in the Quran or the limestone or Jean well Nadine Elia the owner Mala Mala Hello Hannah her when I refer to Luna nessa Lottie harmala wala is known. So allow us to get a saying those who do not invoke other gods along with Allah which is shirk, which is the worst sin, nor take the life no and commit murder, nor take the life as Allah has forbidden nor commit illicit sexual intercourse. So the scholars say, fornication here was mentioned with Shira and mentioned with murder, so it's worse than alcohol. And from the punishments of the zoonotic specifically, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam described in this dream and the Roja that he saw, and we know that the

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dreams of prophets are true, where he saw some of the punishments of the people in the Hellfire and he saw a tanoura which is basically like an oven like the the old ovens where it's a hole in the ground, it's heated, he saw a tunnel in the ground and Wazoo not the people who committed Xena, males and females were thrown into that. And this is their punishment in the Hellfire will either be law

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and it had the horrible or odors coming out of them, and so on and so forth.

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But like we said, as long as there is a marital relationship, then it's not considered as a dirty thing in Islam, and it's considered something that you can enjoy and something that's halal and there is no blame in it whatsoever.

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But what happens is that Zina has become so rampant, that we don't reject it and we don't even in our hearts we don't resist it even in our hearts. You know, we hear about Xena so much. We sympathize with those who commit Zina. Many Muslims are angry when they hear that in Islam, the Zani is flogged, he's whipped, why? And they think that that they even say That's cruel. But the person committed Zina, weren't you angered by that part of the equation? that most people would just say what why? Why do you whip the one who committed sin. And one of the determines, of course, is the whipping and Islam but it's not severe whipping. And the problem is, most people they don't know

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these details. So they just think like the, you know, they bring this fantastic whip and they whip the guy until his skin breaks Actually, that's one of the rules of skin cannot break and it's not, you know, the the person cannot lift their armpit very high. It's not severe whipping anything. And a stronger part of it is determined that it's done in public, that's the stronger deterrent than the actual physical punishment, because if it was about the physical punish

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Then the process alum wouldn't have been lenient on even describing the object used for the lashing. It cannot have thorns and so on and so forth. So it's not about physically hurting the person. But it's about the embarrassment from wanting to commit Zina. But like I said, it's all over the movies, the internet, magazines, books, jokes. What happens when people joke about Xena, they tell you a joke about a man and woman who fornicated together, then there's a funny punchline in the end. So you'll be sitting in a group and a gathering of what you expect to be righteous people. One of them will tell a joke about Zina, and then everyone else will laugh. What's really happening in this

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gathering? What's really happening is that we're starting to accept this sin. We're starting to accept it. There's nothing wrong with it. We joke about it because so many people are doing it. It's rampant in the community, you know, or it's in a Muslim country. It's rampant. So people joke about it all the time. Even some Muslim countries in the magazine or in a newspaper, they put jokes about fornication. And so when I read it, instead of being angered for Allah azzawajal, that Xena is spoken about and that the Spirit people are committing Zina. I laugh, you see what happens. So it has become so common. And for our children, we let them see it in movies, and we let it be glorified

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in the books and the novels that they read. And a man he will let his daughter watch movies and the theme will be Xena, or sitcoms, and the episode might be about Xena. And then she'll read these romance novels with, with the guy with the muscles on the cover. He sees her reading that book, he doesn't say anything. It's all about love and Zin on all these things, then he'll let her sit in gatherings where there's intermingling. And then they even make marriage difficult for the men and the woman because of the the tribes the mother hip, the skin colors, the degrees, we make marriage difficult and then we're shocked when the children commit Zina. We made we facilitated it for them,

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we made it available to them everywhere. And then in the end, we want to be shocked when they are we expect them not to fall into the harem. Now remember I said earlier that we sympathize even with design art and design is sometimes and like I said, it's it hasn't it's not a shameful thing anymore. So people who commit Zina now when they come and boast to their friends, that they did this and that last night, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said these are the worst people in his oma the people who will commit a sin. And a lot kept it a secret did not expose them. And they come in the morning and expose themselves. The Mujahideen these are the worst people in the oma. I

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mean, Allah kept it a secret, they could have kept it a secret, but they come and expose it. They boast about it. And that's how it is today. So those of you and obviously the unmarried in the audience, and especially the men, if you're a virgin, you probably laughed at at school. Like it's not a cool thing. The cool thing now is to be a Zani will either build up too deep to commit the sin is the okay thing and the cool thing. And they've given us all kinds of names and euphemisms. And they make it sound like something very simple, something very light. But like we said, we even sympathize with people who commit Zina. I'll give you a simple example. Okay. And, and this is an

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example actually, that I heard from one of the scholars, and it's not a personal example, or anything like that. But he said that if you're watching a movie, where the theme has something to do with fornication with Xena, you might find yourself taking the side of designing. Let me describe a scenario. The scenario in the movie is that there is a young girl and she's in love with this young guy, and they love each other very much. And then they commit Zina with each other. Then the Father who is strict, an evil man, even though he's the right the good person shouldn't be the good guy in the movie. But the director makes him the bad guy. He discovers that she's committing Zina with this

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boy and he forbids her from seeing him. So there's a scene now this is all hypothetical, where the father is sleeping, and she's going to run away with her boyfriend forever and they can live a life of Xena and sushi creeps into his room. She's trying to get the keys. As you're watching this scene, Whose side are you want?

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I'm telling you, even the righteous people, they would watch this scene and they won't say Sharla he wakes up Yala. Make him wake up and beat her. You'll be on her side. The key clink goes and he could turn around and you

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hope he doesn't wake up? Why not let him wake up and beat her up with his slippers.

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She's committing Zina.

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He is the right person his daughter's committing Zina. He has lira but no we're on the side now these are not watching and I hope he doesn't wake up. Get the keys. Okay, just got to get out of the door. You did it girl. Now you can commit Zina. What do you think?

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So be with become

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used to it people if there's anything you take away from this lecture, hate Xena. And when you hate Jenna, you can't watch sitcoms. And the whole episode is about this guy and that guy and this happened by mistake and the committed Zina and then the whole episode is about the gossip related to the Xena and you just laughing with the laugh track. And it's just what Allah created you for, to sit, listen to stories about Xena and laugh with the left truck, which is more embarrassing. It's a fake laugh truck and you

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saw this anyways. But really, I would like us to take away from this lecture the hatred for Xena in our hearts. Don't ever let it pass by just like drinking water. You hear bugs in your life. People who listen to, to you know the rap music. And I know you're in the audience, you know the thugs, the G's? Yo G's in here. up in here I should say.

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I know what's up

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dressed all fancy looking for as you can see, I know what's going on.

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So

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got all these questions. Alright, so

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basically we're saying hated people. Don't accept it. Your friends want to boast you bodzin don't even listen to that talk. Yeah, don't come agenda. He's telling me about his experiences and his adventures? No, don't listen to that. hate it. listen to a song you know, whoever it is any Snoop Kelby killed is talking to you about Xena. Don't listen to it. Yeah. How could you accept something like that? All right. Let me go over some of the solutions that Islam put for this for this problem for this dilemma.

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Let me break it down for you.

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First of all, one of the ways that

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it's Islam solved the issue, or one of the solutions that Islam put forward is marriage. True.

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Everyone with me? marriage. So Islam, made marriage a solution. But in order for it to be a good solution, marriage has to be easy. And I always tell this to people. Islam is easy. We make it difficult. Look at marriage in Islam. It is so easy. But we make it difficult process. Allah made it so easy. Everybody with me.

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All right.

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fro Sallam said, if someone comes to you, and you're pleased with his religion and his manners, what to him? That's it. You like his religious, you're pleased with his religion. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, that is a club or good. Give him an marriage. That's simple. The Dow Theory real low, nice and low and easy. But now the dollar is like, basically, the father is selling his daughter, you know, asking for exorbitant amounts of money. The party has to be like this, you have to have this degree house has to be this many acres, all kinds of things that make it difficult. At the same time. Of course, we're not saying that the men should just take these young woman and make them live in a

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tent or something like that. But it's not made it easy. And we're making it difficult. It's not made marriage easy as one of the cures from Xena being loose, rampant in society. Fasting, if you can't afford marriage, then fasting is a solution. But I really wonder how many young men in the audience of course, don't show your hand. But how many young men really fast because they can't get married because they're single. This is the weird thing. Young men always complaining about marriage lecture about marriage, this room would be full. Everyone's listening. Everyone wants to know about marriage. But you're not able to do it. You know the Islamic answer? How many people do that? Few

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people, if any? And then they complain. I'm not married. I'm not married. I'm single. What am I gonna find her? What am I gonna do by fast? Don't complain fast. Or light. I know some people when they were single, they would fast every other day. I know one guy He fasted every other day for 10 years.

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Yeah, that's the solution the prophet SAW sent him gave. But when people take it, they just want to complain without doing the solution. So fast.

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Oh, really?

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So that's one of the solutions fasting? All right, lowering the gaze. Where should you keep your gaze?

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in the closet?

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Where should you keep your gaze

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locked down. But you know, some Let me tell you, this brothers. And I know I don't even know why I'm saying this because I know you won't believe me.

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But I'll say try to believe me.

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Lower your gaze, you will have no problems whatsoever. Ever. You will not have any high tension issues. Or you know, the whole the whole crazy thing going just lower your

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gays. I know it sounds like I'm simplifying it, just leave it there. I know it sounds like I'm saying it's not. It's really like that it's almost the closest thing that can tell you and give you to a magic wand. Lower your gaze. There's also for the sisters. People think sisters can just you know, no.

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So lower your gaze people. How many people do that though? Nobody does that. You watch movies and women dressed provocatively, you know videos, Mister, you know, Snoop and all these people with ladies running around, and you watch that and you expect to be calm for the rest of the night. Lower your gaze, you will have no problems whatsoever. But you know what, who lowers our gaze is the problem. Lower your gaze and fast. You'd be alright. You'd be like, I don't need to get married.

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I'm serious. Lower your gaze people lower your gaze. It does fantastic things. Type.

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Also, don't test yourself when it comes to Xena. Don't test yourself. Most people like to test themselves with these things. Things related to a man. But you don't test anything else that's dear to you. Right? sure a lot of you have laptops. You ever put it out in the sidewalk and just walk away from it. Come back 20 minutes later to see if it's still there. You don't test it because it's dear to you don't leave your car with the keys in the bad neighborhood to test if it's still there. Because it's dear to you. You don't test your Eman because it's

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Thank you.

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That's it. Don't test yourself. So people know. I'll be alone with her. Yeah, she's pretty but you know, I'll just test myself. See if I can do this. I'll be alone with her in the room. Yeah, but shalom. My Eman is strong enough. You're testing it. Don't test yourselves. Don't intermingle. Allah azza wa jal didn't want us to not commit Zina. And you all know this allows witnesses what a

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tough crowd was gonna do not come near Xena. There are steps that lead people to Xena. Allah is forbidding you from any of these steps. That's the wisdom behind okay. That's why there is no intermingling. That's why I can't touch the woman. That's why we can't sit alone together. That's why we can chit chat and exchange phone numbers and do all the other stuff that people do.

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Buy. And I would like to also just conclude with two quick points. First, is that for anyone who commits any type of Zina because there is the major Zener, which is basically I need the two private parts for an unmarried people, Yanni. Basically, to put it in other terms, you know anyone to Pennsylvania goes into Virginia. Okay. That's what this is actually no joke.

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It's the best way I could say it. That's the definition of Xena according to scholars, so everything else is not considered this major Zina that's punishable by by Islamic law and if there's a Islamic government, but other everything other than that it's a lesser type of Zina just like the Xena of the eyes is in the hands is touching all the other body parts have their own lesser Xena. Anyone who commits any type of Xin a major or minor. You repent people you repent, you don't keep doing it and running away from a lot you repent and come back to Allah azza wa jal. All right, sincere repentance, three things. One, you have to stop what you're doing. You can't repent from Xena while

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you keep committing Zina. So one just stop what you're doing. I'm telling you and the Toba. The gates of Toba are so wide in Islam so wide I don't understand why people would run away from Allah. Instead of running to Allah just come back crying to Allah azza wa jal one, stop what you're doing to regret it. Just have remorse for what you have done. And three, resolve to never go back to it. That's it. One more time. One Stop doing it. To have remorse feel bad for what you've done. Three resolve sincerely that you're never going back to it again. You're never going back to commit Zina do not run away from a lunch Oh, well, since I did that I might as well keep having a boyfriend or

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having a girlfriend. run back to Allah subhanaw taala. Repent from it and a lot as long as you repent. Even the biggest sin shift if you repent before you die, Allah forgives it. So what about Xena? What about lesser Xena repent? People do not run away from Allah subhanaw taala. And I want to end by just arguing against the forbidden fruit fruit theory, which is a very dumb theory. Basically, it says that if you forbid people from something it will become more rampant and it has truth to it in certain parts. But it's not a good solution in other parts as I will explain

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their example in Sweden, they say that in Sweden, there is much less there are much less teenage pregnancy among teenagers in Sweden than there is in the United States. Then they started to do a study but it wasn't a very good study. They said they went to Sweden and they discovered that surely

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are not told don't have sex in Sweden. They said no, you can have it and do it and this and that and use production. And that's why they don't have teenage pregnancy. But in America, we told them Don't do it. And that's why people do it and so on and so forth. Well, of course, this does the study is really the conclusion is lacking. And it's faulty because there could be other issues related to it. Fertility is one issue. For example, we know that African Americans are the most fertile females more so than others. So we're looking at fertility issues, we're looking at the practices, it's not about the frequency. What are the safe sex practices in Sweden? And how much do people know about

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that? But the problem with it islamically this is not a good solution and doesn't work for an Islamic State because in the end, are millions committing Zina or not? Yes. So are their objective is just oh, no, nope, nope, nope. pregnancy. But our objective is we don't want people to commit Zina. So don't tell me and I'll just teach them safe sex practices that people will still be committing Zina. So inshallah I'm going to end here. I'd like to remind you one more time, you need to stay away from things that lead to that to hate it in your heart. Do not just let it slide in when it's a joke, when it's a movie, when it's a song, hate this wicked sin in your heart, because

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of all the evil and the effects that it has on community. And if anyone comes near any of these things will air the beloved brothers and sisters, repent to Allah subhanaw taala stop doing it resolved and ever go back to it feel bad for what you've done? And Allah subhanaw taala forgive you. It's that simple. And there's no in between you and Allah azza wa jal, we ask Allah subhanaw taala to keep all of you safe and to keep the children of the Muslim safe from Xena say I mean, well solomo Baraka Muhammad wa

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salam aleikum, wa Taala