Kamal El-Mekki – Dawah Made Easy
AI: Summary ©
The importance of caring for people during times of fear and introverted adoption is emphasized, along with the need for guidance and a simple nudge to encourage pursuing Islam. The speakers emphasize the importance of finding evidence and not insisting on aliens, as well as the need for people to read and share the book. They also emphasize the importance of creating an open house for non-Migrsmiths to participate in QR codes and bringing non-Migrsmiths to events, as well as their plans to create an open house for non-Migrsmiths to participate in QR codes.AI: Transcript ©
Thank you for joining us for Friday night
lights. So we call it dawah made easy
because
it really is easy.
And
let me tell you. You know, in the
United States,
it's in my opinion, it's
places.
And we're, like, losing out on lots of
opportunities to bring people closer to Allah.
It's easier than the UK.
UK everybody likes to argue. You know every
time I give a lecture in the UK
sorry James,
swear to God. Every time
I give a lecture in the UK, any
questions, some guy gets up and he's reading
this question that he got off of some
hateful website and trying to stump me. I'm
like, we don't do that in America. You
know? Don't do that. But,
so US is even easier than Canada.
You know how they say, like, Canadians are
are friendlier and they're no. Nobody's
easier easier to talk to than than Americans.
Like Canada, they're they're more introverted, a bit
more reserved. They don't necessarily open up. And
they can't you can't just have a conversation
with a complete stranger
as if you've known each other for years
like like you do in America. It's not
the same. It's really easy in America.
The the most difficult place I've ever been
where, like, street daw was just a nightmare
was Ireland.
And it was just It was just If
you wanna know how Nuh alaihis salam felt
with everybody just ignoring him and plugging their
ears, just go to Ireland.
Like, you know, here when you're at a
Dawah table in a busy area with some
foot traffic,
and you're, you know, we call people, we
ask them questions, we we try to get
them to stop and talk to us. We
hand out pamphlets, but we see something interesting
or something intriguing.
But there, like, there's a guy coming, and
I'm talking to him from way over there.
I'm like, how are you doing, sir? Free
information on the purpose of life. Free and
beneficial. What is the purpose of life, sir?
And and he's just you don't exist. He's
just walking.
You know, in America you're like, sorry, I'm
busy, whatever. I'm in a hurry. No, thanks.
This guy just walking.
Walking.
Nothing.
This
I I mean, it was just so tough
there. Street Dawah Fai, it was like I've
never had an experience like that in Ireland.
And, the longest conversation I had was with
this old man, and he just kept telling
me how
Islam is all about killing the other guy,
and you guys wanna kill us. And I'm
telling him, listen, I've been Muslim
my entire life. I've never once wanted to
kill someone.
And he goes, that's because you're not a
good Muslim.
And
any but it's I kinda turned him around
a little bit at the end, you know.
But it was it was rough.
We've given Dawah in South Africa before at
university.
Actually, one of my favorite Dawah stories was
in, South Africa. There was this girl. She's,
like, of Indian origin, and she was going
to her class, and we kinda set up
in the middle of the place. This was
in the morning.
And
and I stopped her and asked her I
don't know what I said to her. I
remember something about, you know, do you know
anything about Islam and what have you. She
said, well, my father's a Muslim by name.
He doesn't practice. My mother is Hindu.
And I spoke to her a little bit.
She's like, I'm on my way to class.
I'm like, this will only take a minute.
Spoke to her a little bit. She was
very convinced. She took her
shahada and then she went to class.
And then when she finished her class, we
were still at the dawah table, but she
was wearing some kind of thing where like
it was just a
like a rope
that holds up some
rectangles. I don't know. Just some
shoulders out, neck out. But when she came
out of class,
she had covered it. She borrowed some kind
of thing and she just covered. She didn't
feel comfortable walking bare like that.
That that was one of my favorites. I
appreciated that. She went to class as a
Muslim and she came out. She couldn't just
walk around campus like that. She covered up
immediately.
Another one of my favorites was a young
French lady in Qatar,
and it was around Maghrib time,
and we were speaking to her, she took
her shahada,
and by aisha, she had she had put
on
jilbab and hijab
by Isha. That was like one of the
fastest
hijabs I've ever seen from Maghrib to Isha.
So like there are a lot of interesting
and amazing stories
but it's kinda sad when the
changes and it becomes just fighting with people.
And
perhaps there are some exceptions, you know, like
doctor Sabeel and others, but for the most
part, I always tell people, if you wanna
get if you wanna watch YouTube to learn,
just listen for the arguments.
A lot of these YouTube du'a, they're very
smart, they have good arguments,
they've you know, they've been there, they've done
it. So if you want to take arguments
from them, absolutely, but don't take technique from
them because
just the whole setup is not conducive to
good dua, where you have a camera on
some guy, you've got 5 or 15, sometimes
20 Muslim Muslims and others around them,
and they know they're being videotaped. They know
it's probably gonna go on YouTube
and they have to stand their ground.
They're
even if they're convinced, they have to stand
their ground and show that they know what
they're talking about in front of the camera,
in front of the audience.
That's why in the old days we used
to say
no more than 2 people surround a non
Muslim. Maybe 3 maximum.
There's absolutely no need for a crowd.
A lot of times when
when I'm working, like people wanna see, oh
what's he gonna say? And people who who
like partner up with me in Dawah, they
get bored of what I say in like
10 minutes because it's just the same thing
I repeat it, repeat, repeat, repeat.
The point is I was talking to this
one guy,
and this was in Virginia,
and
everything is is going well. And then suddenly
a crowd start to form around us, and
his attitude changed completely. He started standing his
ground in front of the audience showing that
he knows some stuff,
quoting
philosophers and
not agreeing with me.
Before he was agreeing, everything was working nicely.
So you want an environment that is conducive
to that person being guided because that's what
you care about. It's not about hits,
views.
It's about that person being saved from the
hellfire.
And that's why
the prophets were always sent from their own
people because they will they will care about
their people.
That's one. There are other benefits and then
scholars mentioned a lot like for example,
the they they know you if you're the
prophet sent to them. They know your history.
They know your background. They know your childhood.
They know that you're an upstanding individual. All
that helps. But on top of that, the
prophet will care. And that's why when you
look at the prophets
and the dialogue they have with their people
in the Quran, it's always
Oh my people. Oh my people. They care
about them because these are their people.
So caring is one of the most essential
things in dua. In the old days, we
used to give dua.
This was in Washington DC.
And
there was one brother, he would come before
everybody. He would work hard and it's, you
you know, he used to go in the
summer, and it's it's a long day. I
can tell we stay out in the streets,
and, you know, you're thirsty, you're tired, you're
hungry, and this guy always has energy,
and this is back when DC was, was
chocolate.
No? Okay. Back back when DC was black.
Alright?
There you go. Only Tahrir got that.
So
so he would say one day he said
it, he spilled out his secret. He said
these are my people. I love them.
That's what made him go above and beyond.
You have to care. And the Prophet salallahu
alaihi wasalam, we talked about this in the
dua workshop. The Prophet salallahu alaihi wasalam cared
so much
that
Allah had to tell him, in other words,
take it easy.
Like don't kill yourself in sadness and grief
because they're not accepting the message of Islam.
Just take it easy. That's how much he
cared salallahu alaihi wa sallam.
So it's about caring. It's never a fight
and daw itself is from
to invite.
If it's an invitation,
then just
by default or by its nature, it can't
be a fight if it's an invitation.
And I always tell people, when's the last
time someone invited you to their house for
dinner
by putting their forearm against your neck and
squishing you against the wall and putting a
fist in your face? Listen, next Tuesday, we're
gonna have biryani at my place. You better
show up. Like is that an invitation or
a fight?
So a lot of times, like people still
unfortunately
stuck in this whole dawah is a fight
I have with a non Muslim.
And if I strangle them the proper way
with their last breath before they die, they
will
say Until today we have this mentality.
Until today, and YouTube is filled with fights
and sometimes even physical.
Let me tell you something. If I had
a YouTube channel where I'm giving dua, and
then one day I got into a physical
fight with someone, I would not post
that. I would be very ashamed that I
lost my cool and my composure
and I had to beat someone up. Okay?
And post that.
But if I want hits, I'll post it.
But we have to decide which one it's
about. Is it hits or is it
hits or hits or hits bring hits, right?
Alright.
So,
the scholars,
they
they broke down the guidance of Allah
in 4 categories. They said the first category
is
Allah's general guidance. This is how the world
rotates, the
the planets know their orbit, the birds know
how to fly, you know, when to fly
south, where to fly in the winter. This
is how the eggs know it's time to
hatch. The
the baby knows it's time to
what do babies do?
Knock and come out all this stuff.
So this is the general guidance. This is
how the world goes
how the world moves and everything stays in
order. It's all under the general guidance of
Allah
Then there is the second level which is
known as Hidayatul
Irshad. Hidayatul
Irshad.
When Allah sends you prophets and and messengers
to guide and direct you.
When Allah preserves his Quran so that when
you need guidance, you can refer to it
and you can find guidance.
When
du'aat, when our responsibility is to go out
and call people and we direct them to
the truth, the same way you can give
someone directions if they're lost. So that's the
second level. Then there's a 3rd level,
That's when Allah specifically
sends you a gift, opens your heart to
Islam,
sends you a dream. We've got some dream
stories with us I I hear. Right?
Angel, you know what I'm talking about. Right?
I gotta hear that.
There was this one guy and he was
like basically he was like a biker, you
know, this biker guy, old dude,
long big white beard, long white hair,
tattoos everywhere, skull rings,
and bandana, and sleeveless denim jackets, all that
stuff.
And he was like interested in reading the
Quran and he was reading the Quran
and
and then I asked him like why why
are you reading the Quran? Like, this is
a a person that, otherwise,
he's not
one that cares about culture or anything like
that. He's
what they call it. There's a term for
them in America. It's a certain color of
the neck. I can't remember what color it
was. The point is
I said, why are you interested in reading
about the Quran? He said, I saw myself
in a dream
standing in a mosque
and saying in clear Arabic,
Just like that. He wasn't looking at any
multicultural anything. He wasn't reading and looking at
different religions in the world. He was just
asleep and he saw that.
He said, I woke up, start researching what
that was and I discovered that's how you
become Muslim so I start reading the Quran.
So this is hidayat tawfiq is when Allah
subhanahu wa ta'ala just open someone's heart to
Islam.
So what if
like let's say I give this hypothetical
to
this like a non muslim family here in
America
and then one brother gets this dream that
he's in a mosque, he's wearing white and
he feels good and he becomes muslim. So
when he wakes up, he researches Islam, he
becomes Muslim.
But his brother
never got a dream
and he never became Muslim.
So does his brother have an argument against
Allah on the day of judgment when Allah
asked him why didn't you become Muslim?
Can he make this argument and say, well,
You Allah, you gave my brother a dream
but I didn't get anything. That's why I'm
not Muslim. You think that argument would work?
No. Alright. Why not?
Because he received
second level. Hidayat
Al Irshad.
His brother became Muslim in his own household.
How many times his brother gave him a
mushaaf. He took him to Jum'ah prayer. He
took him to conferences.
He preached. He told them about Islam. He
gave him pamphlets. He tried and tried and
tried for years. He received level 2. He
doesn't have an argument. Level 3 is just
a gift. Right? If I randomly get up
and give someone here a gift, the person
next to him can't say, well, where's mine?
Well, that's the whole concept of rewarding someone
with a random gift.
If everybody got it,
it's not the same.
So you can't argue where's my gift. You
already got second level.
The Quran is available. You had a copy.
You went to masajid.
You received the message. Your brother just got
an extra gift. So that's
we said general guidance. That's just how the
world the world revolves.
2nd, hidayatulirshat,
when Allah sends you prophets
or preserves his message, you can access it.
And then 3rd is a gift, it's another
extra level.
And then the last one the scholar say,
when is the next time you will need
guidance from Allah
They're saying in the
when you when the gates of Jannah are
opened
and Jannah is vast, huge.
Just your your territory, inshallah, is is gigantic.
So now you've got millions of people and
millions and millions of homes. How are you
gonna find yours?
You're gonna keep opening doors for the rest
of your territory?
I thought it was my I'm looking for
my house. How are you gonna find your
house? The prophet said in hadith that you
will recognize the way to your house in
a jannah
even more than how you recognize the way
to your home here in in this world.
You know how when like you're traveling,
you're coming from Dallas or whatever,
and as you the the roads are not
familiar, the exits are not familiar, but as
you get closer to your exit to your
house, you recognize everything, every turn, every tree,
every post. It's familiar.
And without even thinking, you go into autopilot,
you just start
to find your way home without even thinking.
Even more so, you will recognize and know
the way to your home in jinnah. So
that's they mentioned that as the 4th time
that you will require this kind of guidance
from Allah Subhanahu wa ta'ala.
The point is that,
like I was saying in the beginning,
dawah is so easy. Like there's so many
people that are just on the edge, that
just need some encouragement, just a simple nudge.
And so many people know very little about
Islam.
These du'aats in Canada were telling me
they they got a table. This is out
in the street, downtown Toronto.
They had all these books and pamphlets and
everything, and they printed this huge sign that
says, free Quran.
They said this old lady came up to
them and she said,
what did Quran do exactly?
Because
she thought Quran was some guy who's in
prison
and we are trying to
start a campaign here. We need to free
Quran. You know, Quran is innocent. He didn't
do anything. And she's saying, what does Quran
do exactly? And then she I'll get on
board. I'll I'll sign a petition. Just tell
me what he did.
That's just how much people don't know about
Islam,
and
and people are lost. They go to India
and try to find
enlightenment and
they try to get it anywhere. They're so
lost. Just people right outside these these walls,
so lost.
Our neighbors,
but look we don't share, we don't talk
enough with to people.
I remember
there was this
in the old days before WhatsApp
used to be like these email list like
you know the masjid every masjid had an
email list with thousands of people and then
they would send these emails, and then someone
would steal the list and start sending all
these dua material.
So I got this one. It's about this
this lady who came to the Masjid,
and she said, she wants to become Muslim.
And they said what was going on? Well,
basically, the story was that this father and
his son every Friday will go out and
hand out pamphlets to non Muslims.
So that's I was reading the story. I
was like, that's the first what?
I never heard of that.
Just sounds like an email. Father and son
every Friday pass out material.
And then that Friday,
the the father said he's busy. He can't
go. So the son said I'm still gonna
go. He went. He kept knocking on this
door. Kept knocking. Kept knocking. Then this old
lady opened the door,
and the son the Muslim boy told her,
gave her a pamphlet. He said, Allah loves
you.
That was my second red flag.
When do Muslims say that? We don't even
say that to each other. True or false?
Like, is that common way? Allah loves you.
If a Muslim said that to you, we're
like, how do you know? Get get out
of my face.
We don't we don't have that language. Right?
Allah loves you. Like, did Jibreel tell you
or like what?
What is this? So
and then, then the lady next Friday came
to the masjid, she took her shahada,
and
and she said that she was trying to
she was trying to hang herself
because, you know, she's got nothing to live
for, but but then someone kept knocking on
the door, kept knocking on the door. When
she opened it, she was this handsome young
man, and he gave her a pamphlet about
Islam and he said, Allah loves you. She
read it, and she came to the masjid
to become Muslim.
And the minute I read that, I was
like, no.
I looked it up, it was a Christian
story about a father and son who hand
out pamphlets, and then the son went out
by himself, and he told the old lady
Jesus loves you. And then in that story,
the in the story, the church, everyone started
to yell out hallelujah,
hallelujah, and the Muslim just changed that to
Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar.
But what I'm trying to say is that
it's there's so many people who are lost
and it's so easy to talk to people
especially in the United States. Really.
So Australia is also good. Australia is also
pretty good.
People are very receptive and kinda friendly. You
know? But there's no place like the US.
That's that's my personal opinion.
And if, if you if you disagree,
I'm okay with you being wrong. The point
is
one time in class,
this,
13 year old boy, he said he put
his hand up. His question was, can a
13 year old give dua to a 45
year old?
So it's a weird question and it's very
specific ages. I'm like, why you asking that?
He said, well, my neighbor is 45. He's
a real nice guy. Can I give him?
I said, I don't understand why you couldn't.
Give him.
But this boy got the best answer. Better
than my answer, a sister put her hand
up, and look at the numbers. She said,
my younger brother is 13.
Our neighbor is actually 45. He spoke to
him about Islam and he took a shahad.
That was, like, the best answer this young
man could have heard.
But our neighbors,
our people who are around us, coworkers,
what do you call someone who studies with
you?
It's not a co student. What do you
call this? Someone who studies with you. Kalina,
like colleagues at school and stuff.
All these people,
When do we give them?
Even our professors, I had a policy like
every professor of mine, after they give me
the final grade, of course, I would make
sure give him.
Yeah. And and, like, nice and straight to
no no beating about the bush clear into
the point.
People need to receive the message.
You know, I always say this thing about,
you know, I always give this analogy if
someone is on fire. Even if you hate
him, but if you see a human being
on fire
and you hate that person,
you would still try to put the fire
out. True?
And you would get injured yourself. You'll probably
get first, second degree burns just trying to
put out that fire from someone that you
don't like.
So for me, the person I can't I
mean, the ones that can't stand the most
in this life
would be George Bush,
Bill Clinton,
and probably Tony Blair.
I would start the fire.
I'm talking about
like if if I if I was driving
and I found George Bush on fire rolling
on the floor,
as much as I hate that man,
I would stop
and I'll try to put the fire up.
Because we're human. We can't tolerate seeing that.
Even if you hate someone, fire is a
lot. Right?
So so then the fire
of the hellfire
is far more severe. And then you tell
me I like this guy, he's such a
good person,
but I don't want to tell him about
Islam. One time this young lady came to
me, she said, I've got this friend. She's
like my best friend. She said, we grew
up together,
and
and I started practicing and putting on hijabs,
so we don't spend as much time together,
and I wanna call her to Islam,
but I don't want our relationship to become
awkward because I tried to convert her.
I said, okay.
Let me rephrase what you just said to
me. I'll say it back to you.
I've got this really good friend. I love
her a lot.
But because I don't want our relationship to
get awkward, I'd rather she burns in a
hellfire for all eternity.
Is that what she said?
Yeah. I don't want the relationship to be
awkward because I tried to convert her.
So just not give her dua.
And whatever happens, happens.
Yeah.
It's horrible, isn't it?
So
it's easy. The opportunities I could tell you
crazy stories.
I don't I like I don't wanna repeat
too many of my my known stories from
the dua workshop. Right?
But a lot of them are great stories
if I may say so. One of them
is it was the million family march in
Washington DC.
So the million family march, if you remember
the million man march in the nineties, they
had
more or less a 1000000 people show up.
But it was organized by nation of Islam.
Louis
Louis Farrakhan and all them. Then years later
so when they had the million fam the
million man march, I was not in the
United States. When they had the million family
march, I was living in Virginia just down
the road from DC, and we went out
and we said we're gonna give that all
day. We have a lot of pamphlets. We're
just passing material out. There were, like, 5
or 6 of us all day.
And
at one point in in the day,
I'm going this way and there's a guy
coming in the other direction, and I gave
him a pamphlet.
And I kept walking.
Sometimes we're walk we're we're talking to people.
Sometimes we're just handing out material.
Depends.
And when I turned around, he stopped. First,
he was walking in that direction, I'm going
in this direction. I gave him a pamphlet
and then when I turned to look at
him, he stopped.
Now, what should I do?
Keep going
or talk to him?
Talk to him. Why?
Because he stopped. Yeah?
So this is what that was all about.
It's all about understanding things like this.
Paying close attention to reading people. He stopped.
I've been passing out material all day. People
just keep walking. Sometimes they take it, throw
it in the nearest trash can.
Not in front of you but they throw
it like 2 steps and they throw in
the trash.
So this guy stopped
and he's reading it now. So I walked
back to him.
Still haven't said anything. I just walked back
to him. When I got to him, he
says, okay.
What do I do now?
I said, what do you mean? He said,
what do I do to become Muslim?
I I said you know that if you
become Muslim it's serious, you don't leave again.
He's like yes yes yes. What do I
do?
So that I call that a there was
a shahad in under 10 seconds.
Yeah?
You know how I did it?
It's it's all in the way I it's
in the wrist. It's how I handed him
the pamphlet. There's a special way I twisted
Yeah. You know that's not true. Right? A
chimpanzee could have given him the pamphlet. He
would have taken a shot. Because I don't
know what's going on in his life that
led him to that point.
So
he took a shahad
and But the point was that it could
have been anybody at that point.
So many people. So close.
But going back to the reading thing.
So Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala gave everyone of
us the ability to be able to intuit
emotions,
to read ex ex, you know, facial expressions,
pay attention to vocal inflictions, all these things.
But most of us have it on low
and some of us have it on the
off
position.
But every one of us has the ability
to understand that. If on all you have
to do You don't even have to read
tons of books. All you have to do
is just bring it up a notch.
Generally,
you know, they say that and scientists say
that
women are better at intuiting emotions
than than men.
And if you're married, you don't need a
scientist to tell you that. Right?
Sometimes your wife is angry at you all
day, she's not talking to you. You don't
even notice.
So
Around Muslim time you say something to her,
she snaps at you, kid. You're like, wait
a minute. Are you upset?
She's like, yes. I didn't know that. I
thought you just give me a break today.
But
but but basically, like we're not good at
that. One lady told me, I get mad
at my husband
then I get more mad at him for
not noticing that I'm mad.
Poor guy is doomed,
Yeah. But we're not good at that. We
don't pay attention.
But if we pay attention, we don't need
to take a class and a course and
read a book. We just bring it up
a notch. That's it.
And then you get
you get you can get really good at
it at at at a after a while.
Just from the way people
everybody's different. But for me personally, from the
way people strength
structure their sentence from how they put this
word in front of that word, I understand
what they're trying to say or their hidden
message.
I'll tell you I'll tell you a true
story. We'll just keep this one between us.
I was at some conference. I forget what
state.
Okay.
But it was like a big conference and,
you know, it's a big hall and the
lights are on you so you don't really
get to see people's faces. You just see
just silhouettes, you know.
So in the middle of the lecture, this
guy is coming down the aisle.
I can't describe
what was wrong with his walk. But he's
coming down the aisle and then he takes
a seat in the front. I haven't seen
his face. I just see a silhouette because
the lights are on me like this.
And from the in the middle of the
lecture, from the way he's walking, I'm like,
this guy has problems.
So after the lecture he comes to me
and he's asked me a So I wanna
talk to you about something. I have a
question for you. So he asked me a
question, some kind of fiqh question.
I didn't even answer his fiqh question. I
just looked him in the eye, I said,
that's not the real question you wanna ask
me. There's another question, something is bothering you.
You just start crying immediately.
And there was another issue.
But it was clear and I can't explain
it. I can't give you like the example.
Well, if he walks like this, I can't
explain it. Right? But and I'm not trying
to tell you, oh, this is special secret
talent I have. No. Everybody has this. But
most of us have it in the low
position or in the off position.
If you just pay more attention,
pay more attention to people's
voices, to what they're saying, to how they're
saying it, to their expression, to the the
their body language,
and there's so many things.
I shared one with you guys of maybe
a couple of months ago but it's so
true. I always catch myself doing it and
I shared it with you on purpose so
that you can call me out. That's the
what they tell you that psychologists tell you
if you wanna see someone interest is interested
in talking to you or is trying to
get out, just look at their feet. I
can't tell you how this how true this
is especially for me. It's so true. A
lot of times like I'm in the middle
of preparing something, I'm in a hurry then
I get caught in the shoe area here
and I wanna leave.
The guys tell me about politics whatever and
I'm I don't care. I need to get
out. I don't have time. Alright?
So
my feet are always pointing in the direction
I wanna go.
Always.
And that happens to most people. You look
down at their feet, they're If they're not
interested in you, they're pointing in the other
direction. They wanna leave. If they're pointing towards
you, more or less It's not like a
hard and fast science but like that indicates
that they're interested
and they're engaged. And if they wanna get
out, their feet are pointing in another direction.
And so many times I'll catch myself standing
with my feet that way and I say,
okay, flip it back in case somebody notices,
right?
Be interested.
Fake it.
Dawah isn't always, hey, do you know anything
about Islam?
I knew this, I had a friend, good
friend. He said, I traveled with this guy
once,
He gave dawah
to every living breathing human being that came
within 5 feet of him.
He said it was insane.
Like we'd be at at the airport. The
baggage handler handed him his bags like, thank
you very much. We read about Islam. And
then the someone holds the door open like,
look into Islam, madam. Then everything,
whatever,
whoever living person came in con like just
close enough, he would tell him something about
Islam. He was giving every living person around
him ta'wa, telling them to read about Islam,
read the Quran.
So
of course you don't have to always do
that. And like you don't have to do
that.
But there are certain people that are in
your closer circles that you have to at
some point, you have to approach these people.
And day 1 doesn't have to be, hey,
do you know anything about Islam? Let's say
you live in an apartment building
and there's a new security guard now in
the lobby.
And you're in your mind, I wanna give
this guy dua.
Because that's when you're dawah minded, dawah conscious,
you want to give everybody dawah. But you
don't necessarily have to walk up to every
person and say, do you know anything about
Islam? You need to look up about Islam
before you die, before death comes to you
and death is certain to come to everybody.
Take it easy, Shwai.
So this new security guards, you come, you
you introduce yourself. Hey. What's your name? Where's
John? Oh, John's gone for the summer. I'm
gonna replace him. I'll be here for next
4 weeks. Oh, my name is so and
so. I live on the 7th floor. It's
nice to meet you. Okay. Great. Now you
introduce yourself. Rapport
means you're going to start and create some
kind of relationship with this individual.
Next time you come, you might just, you
know, how are you doing and talk about
the weather,
whatever it is they're interested in.
And now maybe the 3rd or 4th time
you can say, you know, I just and
you can also bring up Islam
in a very tact full way. It doesn't
have to be. Do you know anything about
Islam? Have you looked into the final religion
of Allah? There you don't have to always
do it like that. You can just come
in as like, hey, I'll just finish the
Friday prayer. You know, that's a big deal
for us. Do you do you know what
that is by the way? See?
See? Yeah. We just started talking about Islam.
It wasn't a direct dua, kinda like
I am here to, I hate this word,
proselytize
to you.
Just here I'm just telling you about what
I believe, where I just came from. That's
all.
Yeah?
So
Alright. So what's the deal with rapport? What's
the why not just hey, I don't have
to be your friend. I just need to
convey the message.
Is it really that cut and dry? You
know what's interesting?
They say that,
study show that if somebody likes you,
they are 5 times more likely to say
yes to you.
If somebody likes you, they're 5 times more
likely to say yes. Yeah. Say yes in
what situation? In any situation.
Sales,
you're trying to convince them about an issue,
trying to get them to sign a petition,
trying to get them to become Muslim.
If they like you, they're 5 times more
likely to agree with you or give you
a yes or something in the affirmative.
So I said that you read something like
this like,
why wouldn't you wanna make sure that that
person likes you?
Why not?
If there's a 5 time
5 fold, it increases the chances of them
getting you a giving you a yes on
any issue.
Would you like to visit the masjid? Would
you like to learn more about Islam? He'll
give you a yes, 5 times more likely
to say yes to you if he likes
you. So the question is what gets people
to like you?
Tell me what what gets people to like
you?
Food. Food?
There's evidence for what Malik said. When the
Prophet salallahu alaihi wa sallam, when Allah told
him, and
warn your close family, what did he do?
He invited them for food.
Remember that narration? He invited everyone for food.
Then his uncle Abu Lahab said, look, if
you've gathered us here to tell us about
that new religion of yours, don't. We're not
interested.
So what did the prophet do?
Did he talk about religion?
Islam?
He didn't.
See? Look at the manners. Well, this is
my house and I can talk about whatever
I feel like talking about, and if you
don't like it you can get out. That's
not good manners. Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam
didn't.
And he just let everyone eat and have
a good time. Then he invited everyone again,
but this time without
without Abu
Abu Lahab. That's Now we built a rule
from
that, avoiding human obstacles. Sometimes the biggest obstacle
is another human being,
and sometimes it's a Muslim too.
So avoid that person.
So food makes people like you. Anytime we
wanna get to know someone, yeah, we'll go
to have food. We get to know each
other over food because it relaxes you, puts
you in a good mood, we love food.
What else gets people to like you?
Nada? Sense of humor. Sense of humor.
It's hard to
to dislike or hate someone while they're making
you laugh. Like I hate this person but
Doesn't even It looks maniacal a little. So
yes, that's the humor, jokes. And then there's
certain areas that say kinda stay away if
you're joking with a crowd.
You're not like not outside of being a
stand up comedian, you're joking with a crowd.
There's certain areas, politics, whatever they tell you
to stay away from, nobody gets offended. They
say politics, religion, and things of the other
nature.
Alright. What else we got?
Gifts for sure. And the said that. We
have evidence. The prophet said,
exchange gifts, you love one another.
Alright? What else do we have?
What what makes people like you?
Think of people you like.
Anytime if you if you believe someone thinks
highly of you,
you you start to like them, right?
This one brother said, there's this brother I
could not stand,
couldn't stand.
And then these brothers told me how much
that guy loves me. He said we were
sitting with brother so and so, the one
that you hate, and he told us how
much he loves you.
He said, I was so upset to hear
that because I started liking him and I
can't stand him. But I started liking him
from learning how much he loves me.
It's just inevitable. You can't fight it.
So if someone thinks highly of you, someone
likes you, you feel like that you need
to reciprocate like them back.
What else?
Thing Having things in common, commonalities,
they bring people closer together. Right? Like a
lot of times, I would make friends with
complete strangers who would exchange phone numbers where?
At the in the aisle
looking for fishing rods.
It happens to me more than once. I'll
be standing
trying to buy a fishing rod. There's a
guy looking at fishing rods. He looks at
me. I look at him. Hey, where do
you go fishing?
Oh, I go to Burke Lake. I go
to Burke Lake. You know? And then I
tell him a story about the big catfish
I was fighting out of the water in
the in the Potomac River, which is poisonous.
Don't eat from that. And then he tells
me about his story and how he was
fighting this thing in Marrakech, and then we
exchanged phone numbers. The next time you're at
Burke Lake, I'll meet you there and everything.
We had something that we have in common.
Nice to see, you know, people who like
sports. Like, they would see someone with, their
favorite team's jersey on. And they start speaking
like they've known each other for years because
they have something in common or some some
something in common that they both love and
appreciate.
Now imagine I'm at the fishing rod aisle
and there's a guy looking for fishing rods
and I look at him, he looks at
me and I say,
so what religion are you?
You think we'll exchange phone numbers and be
excited to meet and stuff like that? You
start with something you have in common and
that's also in the dawah class we talk
about how Allah mentioned that to start with
the commonalities that you we have with the
people of the book. So if somebody likes
you, you're 5 times more more likely to
get a yes from them. That doesn't mean
he's 5 times more likely to take to
say yes and take the shahada,
but he's more likely going to accept to
sit down with you to talk about religion.
Or when you invite them to dinner or
lunch or or invite them to the masjid,
there's more of a chance.
There's also another study that says
if you
This is in sales, specifically in sales. But
many people don't know dawah is sales.
It's sales a 100%.
In the old days when I would start
the dua class, the first thing I would
ask, who's in sales? And I'll see the
brothers and sisters that put their hands up,
and I'll tell them, look, I need you
to reinforce some of the points
and confirm some of the points I'm gonna
be making because dawah is sales. And sometimes
people will get uncomfortable. Look, it's not sales.
It's sales.
This is your the old religion. This is
the new and improved version. Okay? This is
why it's better for you. Okay? This is
how it's gonna improve your life, and it's
free, and it'll help your whole family. But
wait, there's more.
Right? And there's and the e just like
just like, sales, there's urgency.
You know, urgency, you make the sale. Because
if there's no urgency, you won't make the
sale. You know, so I was saying
that dawah is like sales. You've got everything.
You've got the sales pitch. Alright?
And then you've got the rejection. Somebody says
no. When someone says no, do you walk
away?
No. You try again.
And if they say no, you find out
why
they're saying no. You know how they, a
lot of sales people would ask you, what
can I do to get your business today?
So they're trying to find out what is
the problem. What is stopping you from taking
the shahada right now?
This is a question we actually ask people.
And then we create urgency. That's why when
you get a coupon in the mail, there's
always an expiration date.
Right?
Because that's what will spring you into action,
the urgency.
Because if you got a coupon and it
said expiration
Day of judgment.
Are you gonna feel like, oh, let's hurry
up and
let's go use this coupon? Nobody cares. I've
got time. Because we're never gonna die, right?
That's how we think.
Yomukhamah's
far.
Anyways, the point is that
this urgency,
creating the urgency in dawah.
So it's very much like sales, and
it's
I could I could give a full lecture
on dawah techniques I learned from car dealerships,
and I'm not kidding.
Absolutely.
So many techniques in the in the car
dealership.
So much psychology
and stuff. Now
here's the thing though, we never ever Like
in in the dhow workshop, I don't know
if like if we count all the different
methods and techniques
and tools that we use in the workshop,
I don't know if they're like 60 or
over 60 techniques, but not a single one
of them is one of those decitful
because we don't need that. We have the
truth. We have Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala's religion.
We have the truth. We don't need to
trick people or play any dirty tricks. We
And there are many of them and you
can use them in debates, and they're nasty
and they're powerful, very effective.
Never teach them because we don't need that.
We don't need gimmicks.
When you don't have the truth, you need
gimmicks.
But we don't need that. We don't need
any gimmicks.
But
when
when you
take advantage of these other things,
I mean and I mean the psychological tools,
you go a long way and it makes
your job so much easier.
So,
so I want to talk about like how
to change
someone's
mind, right? These are just some psychological
techniques or tools, how to change someone's mind,
how to change someone's behavior,
okay? So you're having a discussion with someone,
and there's they're being fixed they're staying fixed
on their position. And as much as you
give them clear this could be anything, religion,
politics,
anything,
science. And as much as you give them
strong clear evidence against what they're saying, even
statistics, numbers, whatever,
like they're just staying with their position now.
Halas.
So
now you're gonna ask them to reconsider,
But this is the way you do it.
You have to allow people to save face.
Alright? People have egos and pride and and
you don't wanna bruise their ego. You wanna
let them save face. So the psychologists say
before you ask them to reconsider,
offer them a new piece of information
and then offer them to reconsider.
Why? Because now they can save face using
this new information.
Okay? So you tell them, well, look look.
Studies or statistics show this, this, this and
that. Okay? What do you what do you
say to that? He's like,
oh, well, now that changes things. So now
he's not changing his mind because you're smarter
than him. He's changing his mind because in
light of this new information, now I understand
what you're saying to
me. It's so powerful. It works. I'm gonna
give you actual stories here. Here's another technique.
Psychologist suggest
when someone is being
very stubborn on a position,
get them to physically move from where they
are.
And the minute I said that, some of
you thought of a hadith immediately.
Which one?
The wudu hadith. The one that's standing. If
you're standing, sit. If you're sitting down, let
make them lie down, right? Change the position.
The psychologist said, when the body When the
when the mind is fixed, the body is
fixed.
So get them to move. So you're standing
and talking to someone for 20 minutes and
they're just not budging. You know what? Look.
Let's just have a seat. Get him to
move. Just sit down for a minute. Let's
let's start over. Just get him to move
physically. And you might think,
and I've tested a lot of these things
if not all of these things because you
might read it in the book and like,
I don't know that if that works.
Yeah. You don't. Try it.
Try it. Like some people just have the
6th sense to just trash everything.
But try it first.
So they they conducted this experiment these experiments.
They had people
look, they they tell you just sit for
5 minutes, just frown
like this and keep your body language like
all closed like
position
They said just like hold your your legs
like this, your knees to your chest and
sit down and just frown like this for
5 minutes. Don't think of bad thoughts or
bad memories or anything. Just frown physically.
And then after 5 minutes, you will find
that your mood dropped.
And they said for 5 minutes, just like
a madman, just hold a smile. Just hold
it.
Don't let it go. Don't think of happy
things or jokes.
Don't make yourself laugh. Just hold the smile.
And then after 5 minutes, let it go.
And you'll find that your mood has become
has elevated, become better.
You've just become happier.
Similarly, they had people Do you guys remember
the Gary Larson cartoons?
No? Like the far side? Nobody?
Oh man, these things were hilarious, right? Yeah,
this a one piece cartoon has has a
very clever joke in it. Yeah. Thank you
very much. So they had people watch these
cartoons
and then rate them on how funny they
were. 1 group of people, they told them
to hold a pencil
between their teeth and not let their lips
touch the pencil.
So what were they doing essentially?
They're smiling. They're forcing us But they don't
know they're just smiling. But they're holding a
pencil with their teeth and not letting their
lips touch it.
And then they had the other group watch
the same cartoons,
but they had them hold the pencil with
their lips and not touch their teeth. So
what were they doing? What were they doing?
Bawzin. Like they're just like an expression that
shows, like, anger,
you know, anger or what have you. So
at the end of the day, guess what?
The ones that were forced to smile without
knowing it, they rated the cartoons as much
funnier than the ones that were first to
frown on pout. Basically, pout is the word
I guess I was looking for. And they
rated them a lot less funny.
So your your body
and your mind, a big relationship.
Look at salah. Look at the positions of
salah. Every position helps you be in the
mental and spiritual condition you're supposed to be
in.
You could not feel hushua and humility in
front of Allah if you put your hands
on your hips and you looked up.
That's like attitude. You can't feel humble like
this.
But Allah gave us the proper the perfect
position
to help with how we're supposed to be
feeling hina spiritually.
I don't wanna
go too long but I love this story.
This guy said he did this interfaith, it
was just him and a bunch of nuns
in a church for a whole day,
just interfaith.
So when the time for duhr came, he
said, it's time for my prayer. I have
to pray.
So being
nuns
and white, they said,
we'll pray with you.
What what does that mean? Okay. You're Catholic
and why are you praying with me? But
look, we'll pray with you. It's like, okay
fine. Just whatever movement I make, make it.
Said, I'm praying and these nuns whatever Allahu
Akbar Allahu, they got He said after the
salah, one of them came to me. She
said, for 20 years I've been looking for
the right
physical position to be in to match the
spiritual condition I was supposed to be in,
and I never found that until now, until
I prayed behind you.
So what I'm trying to prove is that
that concept is everywhere.
So if someone is refusing to budge on
their position, just get them to move their
physical position. And you might think, yeah, you're
oversimplifying
it. Habibi, try it.
That's it.
And if it doesn't work, come talk to
me then.
You understand?
And then when you come talk to me,
I'll tell you just try it again.
Because one time I was giving the dawah
class in Ireland
and I then shared my most powerful dawah
technique with the class.
And 1 guy,
guess where he was from?
Arab.
Of course,
we think he'll be Pakistani Arab
He goes, I don't think that will work.
The and I just shared my most powerful
technique. Habib, we've been using it for 10
years, and there are like a 1,000 other
people besides me who've been using it for
10 years, and your highness just doesn't think
it will work.
You just heard it 20 seconds ago. You
didn't know the technique existed
20 seconds ago and now you're certain
it doesn't work.
Then try it. I just told you stories
where it worked. How can you
respond and tell me it doesn't work? Anyways,
just try it. There's something known as reciprocal
persuasion.
I know it sounds fancy. Oh, it's a
pass this all the time.
2 minutes ago.
Alright.
Khallas, we'll stop. But I'll tell you this
reciprocal persuasion. It's very powerful.
9:30. Oh, 9:30?
Allah happens when you leave town.
Reciprocal persuasion
is this,
if if I allow you to change my
mind on one issue,
you will reciprocate
persuasion, right? I allow you to persuade me
on one issue.
Then even without intending and subconsciously,
you will allow me to persuade you and
change your mind on another issue.
But now you have to be tactful and
find a position where if you if you
change your mind on that position I'll give
you an example. There was a brother,
he
believed
that aliens like intelligent life form outside of
earth exist. Alright?
And he's very certain of it. And, he
he, you know, he heard this also opinion
from one sheikh who admits by himself that
he grew up watching Star Trek Umash Arif
Ish. Right? And I just grew up naturally
hating Star Trek. Anything with star in it,
I hate it. Star Wars, Star Trek, I
don't have a clue
what's happening in that world. I hate it
so much. Okay?
And I'm personally
super convinced that aliens don't exist.
And I know you'll
tell me Neil,
Tyson said this.
I don't care.
Okay?
But I admit at the same time, I
don't have any evidence
and you don't have any evidence.
So what really matters here is that we
shouldn't be strict over this issue.
I don't have any hard and fast evidence
that aliens don't exist. You don't have any
hard and fast evidence,
except some grainy photographs from unemployed individuals
that aliens exist.
So what So all I cared about This
brother came to my hotel room. This was
in California.
He sat down with me. He wants to
give me his evidence for
aliens existing. And I know it's just gonna
be anecdotal evidence.
I know that.
And I know I have only I also
have anecdotal evidence and it's not really gonna
convince him. But I just want one thing.
I wanted him when he got up from
this
this gathering or from this meeting, I just
want him to get up more relaxed on
the issue,
not insisting that aliens exist.
Why would you insist on something you have
no proof for?
It's like all getting puffed up and like,
I'm gonna show you. What you're gonna show
me?
Unless you open the window and the spaceship
just
flying saucer just stops right there, we both
get in it, you're not gonna show me
anything.
So
so
he was being super rigid in the beginning
and I allowed some of his points to
come through. And you gotta let him know
when that happens.
Okay? So he'll reciprocate.
So he he made a point. I said,
you know what? That's a that's actually a
good point. I accept that point. That's I
like that. That's a good point. I accept.
And so when he saw me accepting,
when I would make the next point, he
would relax and he would start to accept
as well.
I didn't convert him or anything. But I
was happy that when he got up, he
was relaxed about the issue.
And the last thing we need in our
Muslim communities after the the the meat issue,
people strict about aliens now. Khalas, relax.
You're gonna be strict about this issue. We
need another thing to fight over. We've got
the moon, meat.
Enough already.
Alright.
Letting people be lettings the individual be responsible
for the idea. Like, you know, a lot
of women, especially like wives,
they don't need me to explain this to
them. They use it all the time. You
know, what they say about the man being
the head of the house and the woman
is the neck that moves that head. Yes?
So so many times
the guy comes like, you know what? I've
decided this way. Get some idea. She put
it in his head during breakfast to.
She put the idea in his head during
breakfast. Now
lunch, he's
is but it's a way of of getting
people to change their behavior, change their minds.
There's so many techniques. Right? I'm just using
just going through these 6. We mentioned starting
from points that you have in common,
And that gets you to establish a relationship
with people, and it gets you And
it gets people to like one another quickly.
Sports
so quickly.
When I lived in Canada,
they had this big team, this big,
big match
hockey.
They had this hockey match and it was,
and these guys came from, like, the from
the East Coast
to
Calgary where we were to play against our
team, and they got in the elevator wearing
their shirt jerseys. And we had a conference
that same day and we're going up to
prepare for the conference. And the brothers started
saying, oh, you think you're gonna win? We're
gonna do this to you. We're gonna do
this. And they start going back and forth
in the elevator. And I don't know what's
going on but I'm looking at them and
like these guys, it's as if they've known
each other for 20 years. And it's all
about the sports teams.
Things you have in common.
You know, immediate
connection between people.
You look for that. You don't look for
the differences. You know what they say? If
there's one thing you have in common with
someone and 99 differences, you start with that
one thing you have in common.
Another one is asking the person
to do it as a favor.
Alright? So like this. You have,
this is a semi hypothetical situation where let's
say you have a coworker and you wanna
give them dua. But they believe they have
found Jesus and they found the truth.
And if they go read the Quran
and visit your masjid, it's like saying I'm
looking, I'm searching.
But I don't need to search because I
found Jesus.
You know, and you've met those people who
found Jesus. Right?
I had a coworker, she would drop a
memo and whisper, Jesus loves you.
One day
what did you just say?
Jesus loves me. He knows me? He's like,
yes. Even the hair on your hazuta ta'ala.
There was a whiteboard and some markers there.
I started drawing things, explaining things. She just
left basically
unable to speak for the rest of the
day. Jesus loves you.
Iblis loves you.
Taib. Ask them to do it
as a favor.
So they don't wanna read the Quran. They
don't wanna visit the masjid.
They don't wanna sit down and talk to
you because I have found the truth. I
don't need to to to sit down and
do it. So look, I understand
that you don't like, you're not interested in
reading about another religion or anything like that
because you found the truth.
So just I'm just asking you now
not from
like the perspective of searching for the truth
but just as a favor to me.
Would you come to with me to this
event?
Now everything shifted. The dynamics have shifted completely.
Now it's not that I'm giving in
or or or letting go of my principle.
Now I have the advantage and now from
the kindness of my heart, I am doing
you a favor.
But realistically, you won because you got them
to read the book.
Doesn't matter what's in their mind. In the
end, I just wanted you to read the
book. I'm saying just as a favor to
me, would you read this?
Okay. I'll do it for you. Not because
I'm searching for the truth. I don't care
what you're doing, I just want you to
read it really, I just tricked you.
Now we don't trick people, right? We don't
trick people.
What time is it? 25.
Oh, dude, we have so many techniques. So
what what am I leading up to here?
There's one technique I just wanna mention it.
In the old days, we used to sit
down and we used to quote the bible
back and forth back and forth back and
forth until
we're victorious in the issue of the trinity
and the divinity of Jesus.
One time at George Mason University, I sat
down with 5 Christian missionaries,
and we're going back and forth quoting the
bible back and forth. There's 1 against 5.
And after about 2 hours, they were destroyed
They put up the white flag.
You think I'm showing off? No. I'm telling
you that's not good
because it took 2 hours.
Now with our new technique,
7 minutes we're done with the trinity. 7
minutes.
Because we don't question the trinity, I quote
John, you quote Luke, and we keep going
and going and going until finally one of
them one of us gives gives up. No.
I question the mindset. Like, how can you
believe in 3 things physically separate that at
the same time one. That's the issue.
So we question the mindset.
And with this new technique, we use it
with Buddhism,
with polytheism.
So
And I just always tell this story. Bear
with me if you heard it. But I
had in the notes, this used to be
my old notes, it was page 69,
and it was arguments against polytheism
using this technique.
I taught the class in South Africa,
then I flew to Australia. I taught it
there then I went back to the States.
Then I like 4 months later I flew
back to South Africa and they gathered the
people from the class so we can talk
about what happened. So I said, what happened?
One guy says,
I
I took my brother and I took the
class
and then we went home. He said, I
watched my brother pick up the phone
and he called his Hindu friend from childhood,
and he opened the notes to page 69.
And page 69 is like half a page
of just few bulleted arguments against polytheism
using this technique of
fixing the mindset or thinking outside the box.
He said my brother just went over the
arguments on that page. The guy took his
shahada over the phone.
So I flew to Australia, met with the
people who took the dawl class, and I'm
showing off. I told them that story. And
then a guy put his hand up, he
said the exact same thing happened to me
personally.
I said tell me the story. He said
I took the class.
Same night I went home. I open page
69.
I called a friend of mine from childhood
who's Hindu. I went over the arguments. The
guy took a shahada
and he became Muslim right over the phone.
Because the the technique is powerful. It's strong.
It's different. It's not going it's not quoting
your scripture and going back and forth back
and forth. So bottom line is we wanna
share all these techniques. We wanna do another
Dua class here,
and we don't we don't have a date
set. So, Kareem, what are we doing? We
have both or one?
We just got the one? Okay. Look, we
wanna have an open house. I a few
months ago, like 2 months ago, I was
in North Carolina,
and I was at this masjid. They had
a an open house,
200 plus non Muslims.
They had the gymnasium. They had Quran displays.
Try on a hijab,
pamphlets,
food. It was really really nice. And I
said, you know what? We gotta do something
like this here. Like our outreach team,
we wanna have
a really good successful
out like open house
where you you invite
your non Muslim neighbors, co workers, friends,
classmates,
and bring them to the masjid on that
date. We haven't set a date yet. We're
trying to create the excitement.
Male, female. Alright?
You wanna be part of this team? You
wanna be part of making this amazing? Maybe
run the hijab booth, Hijab
or the Quran booth or listen to the
Quran booth. Whatever it is, we'll come up
with great ideas. But we don't want a
150 Muslims here and then 4 non Muslims
and then the Muslims eat the kebab and
go home.
Okay? So we wanna gauge,
like, the response and see. And then when
the time comes, we want people to bring
all their neighbors, non Muslim friends that they
don't wanna talk to or maybe they can't
speak to about Islam, bring them here. We'll
do it inshaAllah. And then we'll do it
every year bayanillah
because it's just lost squandered opportunities, wallahi. So
many people lost and so many good people.
Who in here doesn't have a non Muslim
in their life that's not a good person,
co worker or neighbor that's just kind and
just a wonderful person and you always wish
they became Muslim. We gotta do this every
year. We've gotta make it great inshallah.
So QR code's there. I'm done. It's time
for salah. Zagumalakhairin for listening attentively.
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