Channel: Isam Rajab
smart man hungry enough someone else
said I want to lower cattle. Welcome to the class.
Today inshallah we will start with the book of marriage.
After we discussed the book of financial transactions that will be on now we are moving to the book of marriage. And what's the reason behind putting the book of marriage after the book of transaction?
It is a kind of transaction, it's a contract between two people, then why it's not at the beginning.
It's a bit of both. So it should be in the middle. If it's both.
Okay, yeah, that's why whoever put it at the end, because they said that the other the other transactions you need to deal with on almost daily basis, while marriage, maybe people are not married, so they don't need it. However, there are some scholars, they put actually the book of marriage in the middle after the book of a bad that they say this is a bad debt. And this is part of it, I better and part of a transaction, and then the bulk of transaction. So it's important to understand the sequence and the reason why scholars put this chapter here and that chapter there, there was a reason for everything. They did not put anything haphazard. So now we are moving to the
book of marriage. What's the definition of marriage?
What's the definition of marriage?
No one knows.
Why you're laughing?
You didn't? You did not take it in physical fluff. The same thing?
What did he give?
What's the use? If you look it up?
That's not marriage. You have obligations towards your parents? Right? And they are from your family?
That's a good definition, but it's incomplete. There is a problem with this definition. Because when you say enjoy each other,
that implies you are able to enjoy
someone else. However, in marriage, the wife cannot enjoy someone else, only her husband, but the husband can. That's the key here.
So when you say a contract
a male and female or a husband and wife can enjoy each other? That's incomplete. That's correct, but incomplete
that's a good definition.
Yeah, well, as I said, that's a good definition the first one when they enjoy each other but
that's that contract limits the enjoyment of the wife to the husband and allows the husband to enjoy the wife.
To avoid that problem, you could say this and that will be the definition. In Arabic They say ah could you feed hellesdon Tao
and murder Raja milk is Cinta
Raja lil Mara. It's a contract
that allows the husband to enjoy the wife
and limits the wife to enjoy the husband.
is marriage a contract?
We spoke about it in the class of Aflac.
Why it is a contract
because it starts with offer and approval.
And that's what Allah called it in the Quran. That's why it is contract Allah said about the marriage. It's not only regular contract, it is solid
It is a strong covenant. It is a contract. Not regular one, but very strong.
The next issue we have is the ruling on marriage.
Does someone have to marry?
It's not fun. Well, at least we will talk about the Shafi school of thought some people said yes, it is. Yes.
It's always it will always depend. But in general, when we talk about rulings we say, in general, yes.
Exactly. It is recommended. It is recommended in general it is recommended.
What if someone said,
marriage will keep me busy from the worship of Allah subhanaw taala.
So, I want to dedicate my time for the worshipping of philosophy.
Yeah, actually, it's against the center. Because the people who came to the message asylum and one of them said, I will not marry a woman. What is the prophet SAW? Selim said, Whoever turns away from my son is not for me, one of them.
Exactly. That's why it is half your religion because there are certain things only married people can do.
Can you list them
and marry marriage could be sometimes haram sometimes could be mcru.
5050. Whether you are married or not, but in general it is. Mr. had recommended Allah Subhana Allah says in the Quran, in Surah rajwada darsana salami publica with john Allah massagin. Oh, Daria. And We have certainly sent messengers before you and we have made for them wives and offsprings.
So that's the ruling on marriage.
in order to have a correct marriage, there are conditions, what are these conditions?
A job and cabul
Wali, how many conditions?
How many conditions? Five? What are they see as a student of knowledge, without memorizing the numbers, that's what I tried to start with from the first semester. Remember, when I told you how many obligatory is a model? How many things that will invalidate although, once you start knowing the numbers and you know that it is four, it is five it is, but now you just list it to how many more? How many? try always to be specific. How many conditions?
He said five, do you agree?
three, so we have 453.
dowry witness witnesses, that's what happens when you don't know the numbers.
Five sounds good, who agrees with that falsehood?
There are four necessary conditions.
That was close, but you may add something to the religion of Allah without being condition.
The first condition is what a job and
this is the first condition.
The second condition is
the Wali, The Guardian.
The third condition is the matter without worry.
And the last condition is two witnesses.
What else What do you want to add to marriage?
These are the conditions of
they must be
You like that too?
I don't like it. Because what if someone came and said
they are from the opposite sexes, but she's his mother.
Yeah, now it sounds weird, but people every decade every year maybe they are degenerating. So you want to adapt to them, you will not and will not stop.
These things are implied
they have to be strangers.
It is permissible
for the free man. Yes.
Well, I talked about this, she married the snake, because I was invited once to talk about homosexuals,
gay marriage and lesbian marriages. And they are saying that it is a freedom of choice. It is a
it is liberties it is rights of
his his rights for for every human being. So, I said, I have no problem with this, if you told me what's the limit?
What's the limit? Because if a woman came today, and she said, I am married to a dog, would that be legal or not? And they were shocked. I told them, I'm pretty sure there will be a time come and this will happen. And now
we hear that there is a woman who married the snake. So where this will stop.
it is permissible for the free man to have free wives.
And for the slave to have two wives.
As a free man, you can have three wives.
As a free woman, how many men can you have?
can she have more than one husband?
Not Why. Why not?
Is polygamy Hillel in Islam?
polygyny not polygamy.
And by the way, why? Because I don't like to spend lots of time but it's really important. Since we came here, we have to talk a little bit about it. Yes.
So if, if she's already occupied with one child for one husband, and the other husband wants a child,
he has to wait for his turn.
That's good. What else? Yes.
How would you know? But if someone came and said DNA by
But no, no mother time, but even the DNA they make mistakes? here in Houston. Look what's happened to
criminal justice department. They accuse people and still it's it doesn't give you confirmation on the person.
What's the correct answer?
I lost it. So again, as I told you, yes, you you try to rationalize it. But from the beginning, you tell them I believe in Allah and messenger. That's what my religion is. It's proved from Allah. And then you could explain because if you go again, as I told you, someone came and argued, I am free and I want to marry a man. I don't want to marry a woman. I'm a free man. So this will not stop.
Why Islam allowed? polygyny. That's the and I like this question.
Because I shocked people and they tell me this
to limit the amount of wives American. Actually Actually Islam did not allow polygyny, Islam limited it, because it was allowed already.
Some people they start becoming apologetic, they start saying, you know, the number of women are more and you don't have to do this. Islam did not allow it. It was allowed. Islam limited it actually, at the time of the messenger sighs lm before Islam. What was the maximum number of women you could have?
There was no limit. Nowadays, do you believe that still some tribes in Africa they have approximately 40 wives, the Chiefs tribes
Islam limited that to four wives, one man came to the messenger sell them with 10 wives. So the officer said and told him, You cannot have 10 wives, you have only up to four. So you have to choose four of them.
These things are really important.
But now when we tell them Islam limited, why? Why you can have more than one wife?
The first answer, because Allah says so. And instead of going for simple details, you take them to the minor things,
to the major things who's who's Allah, what is Islam? Once you believe that Islam is the correct religion, whatever it comes from, it is correct. Once you believe that Allah is the true God, whatever he commands is the correct thing. So you obey. But if we try to rationalize it,
what do you say?
Why it is allowed for a husband to marry more than one wife?
It is a man's nature.
Is that true?
Yes, it is a Salah you're honest.
You are honest.
Okay, what is love?
What about love?
exactly. Actually, there is no contradiction. The prophet SAW Selim himself didn't see love, I shall be alone most.
But does that mean his heart was fully occupied? And he could not have any love for any other wife? No. And do could you accuse the professor him that he was not just he loved more wives.
The only thing that you cannot have other place for and the heart is the friendship the hula. That's why Allah Subhana Allah, tala Ibrahim Allah. And the prophet SAW Selim said, If I had to take from this world, the companion I would have taken a worker. But there is no place there is place only for one and it is for our last panel.
But for love, yes, you could have more than one love.
So there is no contradiction. But again, why nowadays when they talk about
polygyny having more than one wife? Why Islam permits that right?
Naturally? What's the ratio?
Then tend to one I hate that and I could not believe it. But it's almost true. If you count all those people who are locked,
locked up in prison, those people who are killed those people who are in war? Yes, it is true. The number of men a woman are much much higher than men, women are outnumbering men, this is one fact. So if only that is true, then it is sufficient. What will you do?
You have many woman?
What would you do?
Exactly. When we say when we say we have lots of woman but you can only marry one? Well, you can only marry one.
Then what will other woman do?
You are telling them you cannot marry where they will go. And again marriage is the nature.
If women have desires and they want to fulfill them, where do they go?
And unfortunately, in the law, you cannot have more than one wife. But you can have more than girlfriend.
That's lawful right?
While Islam tells you you cannot have a mistress, because you have to provide for her you have to be responsible. That's what Islam tells you.
And unfortunately, even Muslims,
they think that this is something is not good. It is from the religion. It is from the religion and by having this many problems will be solved.
Now again, many people, you don't know them by marriage. There will be as Allah said, Love and Mercy placed and you will get to know other people or john nakisha obon or cabella Tara
Again the problem, people, we are away from Islam. So when it comes to the marriage again the same thing, but here is one thing. People try to say, if you say the ratio is 10 to one, then woman to one man, why then Islam did not allow more than four?
Does that mean if the number increased, like the ratio became 50? to one? You can marry more than
What do you think?
Exactly. So that's why as I told you, I don't like to focus only on the numbers thing and the facts, the principal answer it is from Allah subhanaw taala. But once you have more woman, then here's what will happen you married four.
Out of these four, there will be a mother that you cannot marry because she's she's the mother of one of the wives, there is a sister, there is the aunt. So even if there are 10 even if there are 10 you cannot marry them because they will be relatives and there will be mushrooms. So even if the number one time
and again, how many you can take care of
as wives, Allah knows that more than four you will not be just and it will be very difficult. And people complain from one life.
So let alone two three or four.
And we need to work on this issue.
Honestly, because it's one of the problems that you're suffering from as Muslims and when you talk to especially the sisters they say yes, we will be released from the religion but I don't accept it for my husband if he has to marry
he has to divorce he can
Yeah, yeah, no I heard this from from some sisters. Yes, we believe it is from the religion but not for me. Well, every everyone says the same thing.
What about think of others? That's what Islam teaches us? We have to think of others what will happen to others? What is brotherhood sisterhood? Where is where is the teachings of Islam?
Anyway, this issue, we can talk about it for
Looking at woman looking to woman
can you look
at a woman
once? So if you are watching TV for two hours, it's one look.
What do you think?
Can you look
for the purpose of seeking them as a spouse? What if she was already your wife?
You can What if she's your mother?
Well, again, this is the question. It's broad question you need to know what you're asking about exactly. Looking to women is of six types.
Six again, remember the numbers.
The first type the foreign woman
What do we mean by foreign woman from another country? alien.
Not Muslim. What do you mean by Muslim?
woman that you cannot marry forever. That's the maximum so the foreign woman the woman that you can he can marry?
Can you look to a foreign woman?
So if we have a bunch of woman, you look here one here one hint one.
What's the answer? Give me a correct answer. accurate answer. Can you look to a foreign woman?
That's my question generally. In principle,
Why? What's the evidence? Why not?
Exactly. And number two, the prophet SAW Selim said the illegal case or the illegal look is a poisoned arrow. It's not an arrow. It's poisoned arrow from a police
what else and other evidence
follow the law of the land he was looking at the prophet SAW Selim turned his face
if it was permissible he would not turn his face away what Allah says in the Quran always look to the evidence in the Quran if you did not find then you exactly how could you lower your gaze if you're allowed to look So in principle you cannot look to a foreign woman you cannot look
that's David that's the evidence and that's the ruling Is this clear? Is the first type
The second type to the wife
can you look at your life
where can you look at
no restrictions at all
know the shaft a school of thought there are restrictions
Yes and the shaft a school of thought we cannot look at the private part.
That's the opinion of the mob chef again. I disagree with it. personally. I don't know if you agree or not.
They say you cannot look at the private part.
lol Do you agree with this opinion?
The third Yes.
Yeah, there is a hadith but it's weak man of Rama Nirvana talk to me. He did not look at me and I did not look at him. But it is
because I mean, anyway, we Let's move on. Let's move on.
Can you look at the mushrooms? Your aunt, your?
Your mother, your daughter? Okay, where can you look at?
What's the hour between the mushrooms?
naval naval to me.
What do you say?
No, then what? Someone came and told you.
I am living with my mother. So what can I look at? Exactly?
That's the opinion of Imam Shafi, actually, from naval to me.
But again, that means all the upper part, you can look at it, which seems weird to us. But what's the evidence? This is an issue that many scholars differ on. Some of them are very restricted, some of them are liberal. So this opinion, it says that you can look at anything but between navel and knee.
You should always apply the customs also, for the laughs a lot more of
that's regarding the mushrooms.
Looking to a foreign woman for the purpose of marriage.
Work Can you look at?
Or can you look at a foreign woman for the purpose of marriage?
Her face? That's all?
So, again, what can you see? That's when the prophet SAW Selim told the companions
look to what will cause you to marry her or not look what to what will cause you to know
because there are no specific things here in this hadith.
And that's why when Hezbollah Hamas said do you look to everything?
Yes, some say again in the Shafi school of thought, where do you look at
because again, this issue is
Hair face hand feet. No, that's
even what chin
you can look only to the face and the hands in the shaft is colorful. Only
why face tells you she's beautiful or not?
will give you an idea about the body,
the color, the nature of the skin. Because, again SubhanAllah. That's true even now, nowadays, if people try to change their body and the hands is still it tells you about the body. So that's only what you could look at. And the Shafi school of thought.
Yeah, that's according look that only this is allowed.
But that's only what you could show. That does not mean you could look at at once for marriage. That's what you could look at.
This is for marriage, for treatment.
If a Muslim doctor and
a female came to him Muslim female, what can he look at?
Do you think?
What is needed? Exactly? Because in principle, can he look at her? No, you cannot look, if there is a need, you look according to the need only.
And again, this is something in Muslim countries. They don't care about it. She is patient. So she's undressed, especially in the surgeries, and that's Haram. If she has the surgery in her hand, only her hand should be shown. If she has something in her feet in her leg. That's all what she should show.
As a doctor, you are limited to what you need only.
Doctor? male and a female non Muslim doctor?
Which ones she should go to?
Female non Muslim.
So she goes to the male or female?
Because he's Muslim doctor, he will know her rights.
Yes, okay. We'll see.
No, the the patient is a Muslim, female.
And she needs treatment. Where does she go? She has option female.
non Muslim doctor and the male Muslim doctor.
Female non Muslim?
Female? Yes. The role here there is the unity of gender takes precedence over the unity of religion.
That's the rule.
She goes to the female
non Muslim doctor. But again, always with
with conditions like you know that this female doctor is
does not respect Islam. And she may cause
so and so or, or she may
cause things that are horrible so you don't go for her.
But in general, that's the ruling. the unity of gender takes precedence over the unity of religion. So as female ego to female
because let's say someone accepted Islam.
A daughter accepted Islam and her father is Christian. Does that mean she cannot show him anything?
He's our father.
Okay. Number six, the last type for testimony.
What can you look at
what is needed to be looked at what's needed to be looked at.
And testimony you look at the face
for identification, but for other things, other purposes, it's just like the doctor, you look at what is needed.
So these are the six types of woman.
There is another division is your division for three types only.
And based on the necessity, not based on the types of woman, they tell you. And I like always the brief statements, but sometimes they are more complicated. That's why I try to break it down. Looking whether foreign society, then
it is permissible according to the necessity. And they give you the example the doctor testimony, whatever, or marriage looking for a reason, like selling purchasing. So this reason if it's valid, then it is attached and linked to the necessity, according beneath you look, and looking for neither a need or necessity, then prohibited.
That's an easier also division. Yes.
Yeah. For looking
based on necessity and not necessity.
foreign woman? Do you need to look at her? No. So you cannot it's forbidden
for a woman but you are selling and she wants to ask you. Can you look? Yes, it is permissible. But you don't have to. And
so this is again, for three types from that aspect.
One, look, that's an exception, because
you cannot help it. If we tell you You are not even allowed to look one look.
That's asking you something beyond your control, because you already looked. And when we tell you this is prohibited.
In principle, it's prohibited to look at her but it was sudden.
that's why Islam tells you because you cannot help it.
Now, we mentioned the conditions of marriage and we will start with the Wali
or before that before the details
we will mention the conditions of the Wali and the witness
how many witnesses you need in marriage to There are six conditions
for both of them the volley and the witness.
The first condition is Islam. They have to be Muslims.
Number two, puberty
Can you have witnesses 10 years old or five years old? You cannot
number four, freedom.
he has to be male.
Females cannot be witnesses
number six, trustworthiness.
Again, see these conditions, six conditions.
What if a girl accepted Islam and she wanted to get married
Who's her family?
Her father is their president.
He's not Muslim.
According to Shafi,
he cannot, well he can
in case of marriage of a woman from the people of book, Jews or Christian Diwali does not have to be a Muslim.
He does not have to be a Muslim.
That's in the Shafi school of thought. Yes.
And I believe that's the correct opinion actually.
Unless, of course, Father is refusing that marriage because of Islam, then that's another issue. And this could happen even to Muslims when they refuse that person just because he is good person or he doesn't have money or whatever. It could happen. But just because he is not Muslim, I don't believe this is a sufficient reason to remove his guardianship. Why, again, in the Shafi school of thought, he is still parent is still caring for his daughter.
And unfortunately, nowadays, automatically, once she accepts Islam, she goes to the masjid, or parents or family does not know anything, and she's getting married.
They are still her family.
So we'll stop here inshallah. And we will continue next time with the issues of marriage. Is there any question so far?
in this country,
they are not allowed to have one on why
we came here.
Yeah, that's true. I mean, you don't
apply Islam, which is optional thing. Now polygyny is optional. It's not mandatory. But since you accepted not to, to do it by the law, you should not violate it. That's why I'm telling by law here. And anyone comes to me and tells me I want another wife. I tell him fine, but by law, it's prohibited. You cannot do it. And we cannot do it actually, legally can't write another contract. But many people what they are doing, it's just like, can you have a girlfriend?
Yeah. So you do it this way. But between you and the last panatela, she's your wife.
Know, she can?
She can? She can because even if you die, she still has rights.
And you can attest to that. And she will she will get her rights.
And even in marriage, like here's the thing and we did not discuss it because we cannot discuss everything. If the wife voluntarily
says that she doesn't want this right or that right? That's acceptable.
Just set like soda or the lohana. She thought the prophet SAW Selim I'm giving you might night so she took a shower and took the night of soda. That was right for one of the wives.
So you could voluntarily give up some rights.
woman looking at men. In principle, it should be the same.
It should be the same.
Because that's what Allah says in the Quran tells the believing men to lower their gaze and tell the believing woman to lower their gaze also.
non Muslim woman in front of non Muslim woman.
Yeah, it is the same. Again. Some scholars actually they differentiated. I don't see any evidence. She's a woman and she's a woman.
What's the outcome between Muslim man and non Muslim man? Is it different than a Muslim man? Muslim men together and if there is non Muslim men is the same.
I know the reason but I said I don't see any
evidence. That's the reason but that's not an evidence when they say that she may go and describe a Muslim woman may go and describe
teaching. It depends, is this teaching needed, or it is necessary. Sometimes it is necessary. I believe what we're doing is necessary. It's not only needed, but sometimes it is needed. Like she needs to pay.
She needs to provide for her family or whatever, in order to do that she needs to be educated. So she's going and she's learning.
I disagree with this. Why it's improper? Yes, I may say it's not the perfect method. Because if we have bigger facility where we have
separate classes, yeah, that's better. And
statistically, achievement will improve. When women are alone men are alone.
And it's it's proven in schools, like when you have both genders, while when you have segregation, it's much more but even at the time, the messengers are silent. They will not separate. Yes, they were different. But nowadays, I'm not saying that's that's better to be together. But there is no evidence that you have to separate them.
Yes, if we could, we should do it. It is better, but give me the means and I'm willing to do it.
Okay, we'll stop here inshallah. Santa Monica.