The Meaning Of Filial Piety
Channel: Ibrahim Hindy
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all praises due to Allah alone. In him we seek aid and assistance and to Him we turn both in repentance and for forgiveness, truly whom Allah subhanaw taala guides not can mislead and whom Allah leaves to go astray, There is none who can bind. And I bet when he said there's nothing worthy of worship, save Allah alone, and that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is both his servant and His messenger.
Allah subhanaw taala created us with different
responsibilities and obligations to a variety of people in our lives. The husband has his obligations to his wife and the wife, to the husband, the neighbors to each other, those in power and in authority to those over whom they rule
and so on and so forth. But of the greatest of these obligations that he has placed upon mankind is the obligation
of one to their parents.
And Allah subhanaw taala raises this obligation, this right alongside or to be mentioned only after his right Subhan Allah to Allah to be worshipped. Loco darbuka, Allah Azza Abu Illa Yeah, well below the the near Santa, that your Lord has decreed that none should be worshipped save him and to have excellence to your parents.
And throughout the Quran, Allah reminds us and shows us the example of prophets in relation to their parents. He mentions and describes Prophet Yahia it has said um
and he mentioned overwhelmed bhiwadi They he will Aamir Khan Jabbar on Arsia the he was dutiful to his parents, and he was not a disobedient tyrant. And he mentions the words of Lisa in a miracle in his cradle, when he says well about running BYD the tea that God has made me dutiful to my mother.
And he mentions the dua of profits today man it his Sanam rugby I was Ernie and ash Khurana unmetric allottee. And I'm to Allah yo Isla de de my lord enabled me to be grateful for your favor, which you have bestowed upon me, and also to be grateful for my parents.
And he mentioned that I have no idea his son and rob the thirdly, while he while he the year will even DACA at my Lord forgive me and my parents and whoever enters my house a believer.
And of all the examples of the prophets what stands out the most is the example of Salim
Ali, his son and Prophet Ibrahim, the Intimate Friend of Allah azza wa jal tested with a father who would worship idols and promote idolatry and build the idols. And Allah gives us this example. And we see in it's a series of verses of Prophet Ibrahim speaking to his father
in the most loving of terms, yeah, a bit team, each verse with a piece of advice and he says, Oh my beloved father Yeah, Bertie, the most loving formation of the dressing the father is on the tongue of Ibrahim Yeah, but TD mattogno do matter. Yes, Mel Wallah, you will see whether you can cache my father why is it that you worship that which does not hear and does not see and will not benefit you at all? Yeah, Betsy in the hospital I am a sucker either the Minister of men for cooling or the shade for the corner the shaytani Walia. Oh, my dearest Father, I am fearful that you will be touched with a punishment from the Most Merciful and that you would be a companion to the devil.
And despite the beautiful manners of Ibrahim speaking to his father, with this most eloquent and loving form of speech, his father responds back to him with harshness with a threat of death.
Yeah, Ibrahim the inland tanto de la juman nakawa hydronym Alia Oh Abraham, if you do not detest the desist, I will stone you. I will kill you by stoning you, and so abandoned me.
And in response to his oppressive father, again, he responds with kindness, with humility, with piety called Asana, wonder heartache, he said, Peace be upon you. So I still feel like I will seek for your forgiveness.
If I assess the federal Academy I will seek my lord for your forgiveness, beseech my lord for your forgiveness. In the whole can I be happy indeed, he has always been gracious to me. So all the prophets, no matter the status of their parents, whether their parents were righteous or not, whether their parents were kind hearted or not. All of the prophets strove to treat their parents with kindness and excellence and piety.
And Allah subhanaw taala, as we mentioned, brings close the meanings
and strikes the analogy in our mind,
or brings the heights of filial piety after only the reminder of the rights of Allah subhanaw taala
Would Allah Allah to Shrek will be here che What will ye Dania Santa, worship your Lord and Associates none and worship with him and show excellence and beauty to your parents? And because of this Allah's panelists, it says, initially what do you want to take, be grateful to me and to your parents, even best said Femen shikhara Allah he will amisco Livadi they let me admin, he said, because of this verse, whoever is grateful to Allah, but not grateful to their parents, it will not be accepted from them. And this is because the parents are often the vehicle of the Mercy of Allah subhanaw taala in our lives, Allah created us, brought us into this world through the medium of our
parents, and so much of the mercy we attain in this world came through our parents to begin with.
When a man asked the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam about the greatest deeds the best deeds a man can do, he said, A sada to Allah Tia from a pile of urine while he then he said to pray at its time. Then he was asked what next? He said to be pious to your parents. There's an undeniable link between the worship of Allah subhanaw taala on one hands, and our dutifulness to our parents. And there is nothing after the worship of Allah azza wa jal or establishing our prayer more important than being dutiful to our parents.
And for this reason, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said Kulu Buford,
call it the noob yakgear Allahu Masha, where you live, all Masha, all of the sins God will forgive whatever He wills and God will punish whatever He wills
excess except for one sin except for he says in law who can worry then, except for being undue cheerfulness, abusive to your parents, except for into who you are for now your agenda. So these are heavy, he will hire to dunya Koblin minute, Allah will hasten the punishment for this person in this life before the next life. And another Hadith The Prophet said about will cover the most major of the major sins, the worst of all the major sins. And Isaku Billa, worshipping, worshiping other than Allah. Wow, Coachella Valley day in and being oppressive, unjust, abusive to your parents. Well, she had to Zul and to bear false testimony. These are the worst of all of the sins, the worst of all the
major sins. And the Prophet continued to repeat this over and over and over again. Until the companions were sitting there. They said, We wish the prophet would stop because they understood the gravity of the words of our prophets of Allah where it will send them
and the Prophet sallallahu How do you ascend them taught us read the ROB field unwanted, was tougher to rob V. SOHCAHTOA. And that the pleasure of your Lord is found in the pleasure of your parents. And the anger of your Lord is found in the anger of your parents. We know the Hadith, when the man came to our Prophet Sall Allahu Allah, he was sending him. He said the rasool Allah men are hukou because Nyssa T, O Messenger of Allah who has the greatest rights, for my companionship
for my time,
for my being in their company,
of all the people I deal with all Messenger of Allah, my boss at work, for whom I get money, or my business associates, or my friends or my children, or my wife, who has the greatest right to my companionship.
And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to him, from your mother,
it says, If the Prophet Sall, Allahu Allah, He will send them and seeing if you have one, smile, give it to your mother. If you have one gift, give it to your mother. If you have one free hour, give it to your mother. If you don't have the ability to spend time with anyone the entire week, make sure at least you spend it with your mother, on Mac from the muck from, from your mother than your mother than your mother than your father.
This is the attitude of our Prophet Sall Allahu Allah. He was in our Prophet, who begged Allah's permission to be allowed to visit the graves.
And had he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam not done so it would have been prohibited upon us to visit the graves. He begged for Allah's permission to visit the graves. And then he said to the Companions, I had prohibited you from visiting the graves. Now Allah has given me permission. And the first thing he did, he went to the grave of his mother, and he began to cry and Allahu Allah, He will send them
India's our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is dividing the spoils of war amongst the people, an old woman
comes to our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,
and the Prophet drops everything.
And he leaves out his robe on the ground.
And he orders that some milk is brought forward.
And he leaves all the people, the soldiers, the leaders of tribes, the important chiefs, he leaves them all aside.
And he sits with this old lady. And the people are wondering, who is this woman? This old lady, but the prophet would abandon everyone around him, and go and sit and serve this woman. And they found out it was the watch nurse of the Prophet sallallahu ala he was on with him and his mother from breastfeeding. If this was the way of our Prophet Sall, Allahu Allah, he was sending them with his what nurse? What would the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam have done to his own mother? How would he have honored her and respected her?
And we see this throughout the seed of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the reminder to people of the importance of their parents. A man comes to our Prophet Sall, Allahu Allah, you send them asking to fight with him, traveling from Yemen, to Medina,
a long distance,
going through valleys and climbing mountains, to arrive at the doorstep of our prophets, Allah Allahu Allah He was.
And we think our Prophet
was leading this community in Medina. He was the leader, the president of this community, the leader of their army, surrounded by enemies, to see a young man approached him and say, I want to fight with you. You would think the first thing our Prophet would ask him?
Are you strong with weapons? Do you have experience fighting? Can you ride a horse? How can you be of use of me in my army? The way that any person of the dunya would think? But this is Rasul allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
What did he say to him? The first question Electrohome is your mother alive?
The man said yes, I left my mother behind. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to him, let's read agile, while Matthew burn the law. Are you seeking the reward from Allah? subhanho wa taala? Is that what you are looking for? The man said yes. He said, Paul, it'll either you have for X and Elijah, for them marriage Jana, he said, Go back to her and be excellent of your treatment of her. For that is where paradise is. You want your award from Allah azza wa jal go back to your mother. The prophet is telling him paradise is not here with me. Not even fighting in this noble cause, if it means abandoning your mother alone,
go back to her and server and that is where you will find jedna
another man came to the city of our Prophet sallallahu and he was sending him to live in his company to learn from his knowledge. And the Prophet Sall Allahu Allah. He was sending them doesn't ask him did you come to the city with money? Because we in Medina are suffering with poverty. He said he didn't ask him. Are you coming with knowledge? Are you a doctor a carpenter, an iron Smith, someone to help us build the city? All the things that a leader running a city would be concerned with primarily? No, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to him key for terracotta Abba week. How did you leave your parents? You came here to learn to study to learn your deen. But let me ask you a
more important question. How did you leave your parents in what states
are the tough to get can? He said I left them crying.
I left them and they were crying that I left them. The prophets of Allah who it was sent him said it'll gel email. Well Paco, Huma Quito. He said go back to them and make them laugh. Just as you have made them cry.
Go back and make them happy. Just as he made them sad.
Make them laugh just as you have made them cry.
This was the level of appreciation for our parents that our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam insisted upon
and it took precedence over all things other than the worship of Allah subhanho wa taala. And this is important for us to understand in our lives, that we prefer our parents in our lives and serve them and turn to Allah subhanaw taala through this way Felco Cody how the rest of money will flow in order for him
Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala Rasulillah who Allah, He will be he will Manuela.
Just as we spoke in the early part of this clip about, about the rights of parents, and the importance of children to obey their parents, I want to
some issue that I feel is quite important.
And an issue that we don't speak about quite often, we shy away often from mentioning the rights of children, for a number of reasons. Number one,
most children lack in their dutifulness to their parents. And it is more rare to be the opposite way.
And we fear to give a license to children to harm their parents or to exceed and being on dutiful to them.
But the reality is, there are parents who use the religion
to sometimes abuse their children. So they tell their child,
if you don't obey every single thing I say to you,
then you're going to the hellfire.
This happens in some homes.
And it can cause significant harm.
We as Muslims are obliged with bitter ill worried in to be dutiful to our parents. Better does not necessarily mean pa
dutifulness, or piety to our parents does not necessarily mean obedience to them.
It can mean obedience, but not always. There are limitations to the obedience of the parents. And we should understand this. I'll give you some examples. A sister came to me. And she has developed severe anxiety because her mother treating her in a certain way where she,
you know, instructs her to do certain things in her life. And if she doesn't do so, she curses her and she makes against her, even physically attacks her.
A brother mentioned to me his mother tries to control every aspect of his life. She's the one who forced him to marry who he married. She's the one who forced him to do many things in his life. And, you know, he's confiding in me anger that he has because of this. So, I want to clarify some issues. Again, we are obliged with a bitter NYT then, which is often translated as obedience to the parents, but it's not. Its piety to the parents, which is a higher level than obedience, in fact, because you can obey someone and hate them.
Your boss at work, you might OBEY Him and hate him.
No, that would not be bitter. Right? Their piety to your parents has this meaning of mercy and empathy and affection and excellence and that son, or cook, the opposite of better abusiveness is to ruin and corrupt something, they will say often that the monitor the watcher has become an app, meaning it's become spoiled. So that's corrupting the relationship with the parent. So we should say generally speaking,
you should obey your parents, but there are limitations. What are the limitations? First of all, obviously, if the parents asked you to do something haram,
if they tell you to do something that is impermissible to lie, to cheat, to steal, to give false witness, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, lalka I tell him, look female, see, it's in column, there is no obedience to a creation, to a created being, when it involves disobeying the Creator Subhana Hautala. And this happens often in our community. For instance, the father cuts off his brother, then he tells the children, you're not allowed to speak to your uncle. This happens sometimes. So now obeying the father you would be doing haram because part of your duties as a Muslim is to connect to your family. Right? If an earthly Amin mentions this example, he said the
children should not obey their father, but to daddy behavior to you know, not necessarily confront him about it, speak to the uncle privately connect to him privately. And you know, if the father asks, just make up an excuse. The second point
if your parents asked you to do something that will cause a significant harm to you.
An example of this is a sister who had
was suffering back pain, severe back pain. And she went to the doctors and they said they she needed to do a type of spinal surgery, otherwise she would be living with significant back pain. Her parents refused this. They said, if you get surgery, people will find out about it. And your marriage prospects will be in jeopardy people will wonder, Oh, her health is a problem don't marry her. So she went to some nearby us and asked this question, what do I do? And the scholar said, this is an issue that will cause you harm, in which case it is permissible for you to disobey them.
And this is similar in common in situations where the parents meddle into the children's marriage. They forced them to buy a house. Sometimes they forced the child buy a house that is too expensive for the child. They can't afford it. And the parents say no, you have to buy it. Because the parents pride and honor is on the line.
Or sometimes they tell the children you have to get pregnant right now and have children. And maybe the children have something in their life. One sister mentioned to me her husband had in a severe issues, mental health issues. They wanted to wait for him to get treatment and then have children and the parents are insisting No, you have to have children right right now. So now you're causing harm for the child. Does the child have to obey? And we say no. A man came to him and met. And he said in lb Moroni and otol epizoda team, my father is commanding me to divorce my wife.
And so Imam Muhammad said to him that we do not divorce her.
The man said, Didn't
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam command, Abdullah ibn Omar to divorce his wife when automotive Bob told him to divorce his wife. This indeed did happen. I'm going to stop told his son Abdullah, you know, I'm going to divorce your wife and Abdullah I'm gonna I'm gonna went to the Prophet and said my father is telling me to divorce my wife and the prophets of Allah. And he said, I'm told that I'm beloved, I'm gonna divorce your wife. So he came to me because it didn't just happen. And I said, Yes, he said, while Abu committed or murder but is your father like Alma, on what are the Allah who is not going to tell his son to divorce his wife for no reason. He's going to
tell his son to divorce his wife, if there's a shutter I reason there's an Islamic justification. He said your father is not to Allah. Okay, so in your case, your father is coming into your marriage telling you to divorce your wife, no, don't listen to him. So in areas where harm is going to be caused to the child because of the command of the parents, the child does not have to obey one caveat here. What constitutes harm has to be according to the Sharia. In today's day and age, they want to call everything they don't like harm everything they don't like violence, no, has to be according to this video. So you would seek the opinion of a scholar for this third point. Let's say
the parents are commending you to do something that does not benefit them.
And maybe does not harm you. So for example, the son wants to study law, and the parents want him to study medicine. This does not directly involve the parents. It does not directly benefit them.
At the same time, it does not necessarily harm the child.
Or let's say the child wants to buy the Honda Civic. And the parents are saying no, you have to buy the Toyota Camry. Again, it does not directly involve the parents it does not directly benefit them. At the same time it does not harm the child. Here the scholars say that it is Mr. hab it is preferred to obey the parents. It's not necessarily an obligation, but it's preferred and they will be rewarded. If you buy the Toyota even though you want the Honda you will get reward from Allah subhanaw taala because you're doing it to please your parents. If you wanted to study law, but you say fine, I will study medicine because they will make my parents happy you will be rewarded in the
sight of Allah subhanho wa Taala and this is important for people to understand, Ibn Taymiyyah he said unisim In Santa Artois II they mean it Marcia when Kana Fastlane he said it is imperative for the person to obey their parents.
As long as the parents are not telling them to disobey Allah, even if the parents themselves are sinful. Why the femur fee him and facula home but this is an issues in which there is a benefit for the parents. So now let's say the parents tell you come mow my lawn.
Then you have to obey them.
The parents tell you I need to go to visit my friend and it's not going to cause harm for you. They're not telling you to come in the mail.
Have the workday and get fired? No, they're telling you during your life Come, give me a ride, you have to obey them. Right? Because this is where there has been fathers benefit for the parents, right? And they're not causing any real harm. Maybe they're annoying you, maybe they're taking away your time. But that's not an excuse, right. And so you have to understand these different levels, when there's a benefit for the parents, you have to obey them in those circumstances. And in this situation, even Tamia also mentioned, it's not permissible for anyone to force a child to marry someone. Right? You can't force your children to marry a specific person. Of course, with the young
daughter, the father has to agree to the marriage. But the only the Guardian, The Father has to agree to the marriage, but he can't force her to marry someone. And even Tamia said, it's not permissible to force someone to eat something they don't want to eat. Let's say you don't like a particular food, you can't force the person to eat it, rather than eat the food they want to eat. He said, and the bitterness of eating the food you don't like will last you one hour. But that bitterness of marrying someone you don't want to marry could last you a lifetime. Right? So this is important circumstances for people to understand. But realize, throughout all of these examples, we
still have to have beer, we still have to have piety to our parents. Right? When the story A man came to Imam Malik, and he said to him, I have my mother and my sister and my wife. And my mother prefers my sister to me. So every time I have money, every time I have something in my life, my mother commands me to give it to my sister. What do I do? Imam Malik said,
in the Quran, Allah to leave the hub. We're talking to someone who had been architect, he said, I see that you don't harm her. Don't harm your mother. Don't confront her. Don't be like, Why are you doing this to me and get into a fight with her. Don't do this. But get out of this situation, however you can. Meaning tell her in sha Allah, I'll see what I can do. Let me see what because obviously, her making him give everything to his sister is not fair. And not just, and he has a family and he has a wife and he has to spend on them. There's not so find a way to get out of the situation without harming your mother without annoying her without getting into a fight and yelling
and screaming at her. In every circumstance in our relationship with our parents. We have to have better we have to treat them with excellence and kindness and love in every circumstance. And we see this with Prophet Ibrahim and the example we mentioned earlier, every speech he says to his father Yeah, but see my dearest father as he speaks to him. And Allah tells us in the Quran, when Jahad Dhaka Allah and push Nicola mele, Salah can be here, if your parents are striving, fighting to make you worship other than Allah the worst of all the sins. What does Allah tell you? Find out that Roma don't obey them, while Sahiba Houma for dunya but accompany them in this in this dunya in this world
with excellence, accompany them in this world with kindness don't obey them. They're trying to make you do the worst thing in the world. They're striving to make you do the worst thing in the world. Yes, don't obey them, but still be with them still be in their company, still be dutiful to them still have excellence and love and mercy with them. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to make us have excellence in our relationship with our parents and dutifulness to them in Allahu Mehta if it was gonna be Yeah, you'll let me know somebody who wasn't able to sneak along on Sunday we'll send them on a CD you know whenever we get along with Sally Adam Hamilton Masakadza Kunal Abrar. Also there
are a better method Armscor school on Sunday here Robin, so that's awesome. And dad immediately on Monday and while he was obviously being authoritarian, while only had to mean well, I know I know that the law has solid in Illuminati that men are female coming ahead.
Well, I haven't been in LA for a while I think in LA Colita while I'm reading illustrator while I moved to LA fita while it had just been our engineer will fly a helicopter don't wanna feel Sala Illa for later was so tabula Metzger hammerlock Amin along as an Assam honestly mean where are they before they can imagine? They were Dean along Abilene and Eman was the interview Covina Roker in an uncomfortable conversation with the unknown unlimited rushing in the line and motivated hilarious anyway to the quarterback 100 fascia you will move through the Kamala come to the karoun of grow lights Kokoschka who I don't know I mean he has it come political Allahu Akbar Allahu Allah and
Let's not ruin Abdullah from sunnah.
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