Children Around The Prophet 6 Disclipining Their Sexual Desires
Channel: Hesham Al-Awadi
Series: Hesham Al-Awadi - Children Around The Prophet
File Size: 11.27MB
Episode Transcript ©
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Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim o salat wa salam ashrafi mursaleen Sayidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi aumentar viavi ascending Elohim.
This is the sixth session. And it's very sensitive session. And I ask Allah subhanaw taala to help me, it's about disciplining the sexual desires of children. And you might think there is a contradiction sexual desire children,
I would like to put forward this session as something that could be useful at the latest stage of the child's development. So what might be said here,
is not applicable to someone who's two years old, or we are talking about someone who's developing and is about to reach the age of puberty. And remember what I said to you at the beginning, that the entire nature of the interaction between our sense of self and children and between you and as parents and children is a process of training. And it's a protective measure,
instruct them to pray at seven, and beat them not to create pains and take them to the emergency hospital at the age of 10. Why because it's training them to love the Salah. And to get into the habit of praying, lowering the gaze.
And covering themselves, and seeking permission before they enter into their parents bedroom.
might not necessarily incite a sexual desire, but it will certainly train him or her
to be prepared to that stage.
And parents have probably are a bit embarrassed to discuss
sexual matters with their children, but we might see and I hope I will show you that our SOS alum, never felt embarrassed. Because this is reality. This is a fact of life, and they are going to encounter it with you or without you And behind you.
And if you are not guiding them, they will seek advice elsewhere. And you know what I'm talking about.
So, sexual desires.
I wanted to divide my approach to this topic into two parts. One part is the role of the household in disciplining sexual desires, and then the outcome of that disciplining on the child when he is outside the house. I am aware of the problems I am aware of the real challenges here in the West, I am aware that you might invest labor and time and effort in disciplining the child inside the household. But because we live in a non Muslim society, it's the outside of the household, which is a problem. But I still believe that this process of disciplining
will make them 6070 80% better than if they came out from a household that has got unlimited access to the internet that sees all programs on TV, and that looks and buys the latest fashionable magazines that have night dresses and put them on the table in the living room.
I also want to tell you something else. Be aware that you live in in the West. I'm not trying to underestimate the seriousness but just let me give you another parallel.
Being or raising up children in the West is not a necessarily a unique experience, although
every experience is unique. But think for a moment and having spoken about this in details. Think for a moment about the children that became Muslims in the Medina not any seven Malik. Think about those who became Muslims in Mecca.
Think about it.
Think about zaytoven haritha.
Think about Abdullah bin Massoud, think about an outcome.
I've got actually a book which is called Shabaab crush, the young the youth of courage.
It's all about the young people that were born and brought up in Mecca.
where there was no mosque where there was no Sunil Baqarah or Alma EDA or met any culture and legislation
But there was Islamic McKey culture of lowering the gaze of protecting one's private paths. Because the teacher and the master in that little room that was owned by the outcome was sufficient to morally discipline those children. And indeed those companions, I am in no way trying to tell you that the situation is the same here in the West. But of course, I might argue it's better than the situation of children in Mecca. Because now we have Islamic schools, we have Islamic organizations, we are able to hold such a function at Birkbeck college rather than in the central mosque. So I am saying that we are in a better situation, the challenges are there. And insha Allah by narrating
some of the verses from the Quran, and some of the hobbies, we might help reduce the impact of that challenge or guide you towards dealing with that challenge. Let's then discuss the first part, the household. And really, I would
like to focus and emphasize at that stage on the role of the parents.
And I don't want to give you now a talk on marriage and how to select your future wife and how to select your future husband, if you have the luxury of selecting. I am saying this bond is holy. This one is sacred. Because based on that bond, everything else based on the household will be built.
I hate talking about things related to me or things that I did. But in the fourth grade Imams and Buhari I was fascinated and crazy about the role of the household in bringing great people such as Abu hanifa, Shafi Malik and humble and Buhari because the impression that people have is that Abu hanifa was born Abu hanifa, the great Abu hanifa No, Abu hanifa was a teenager, Abu hanifa interacted with a society that was at some stages going through a moral decline.
Humble was tortured and was imprisoned to say that the Quran was created, buhari, buhari lived in the worst political, social and economic moment, he lived in bahara. Away from McCain, Medina, traveled alone at the age of 18, and southern Denmark, but still a politically they're deteriorated and divided society. I'm not saying that people walk naked in the street. I'm not saying that. But I am saying that they those people in their own history in their own context, they suffered. They struggled.
But it was because of the household. Because they were carrying the memory of their father, the memory of their mother. And of course the and and the Huggies and the claws and the blessing but foremost father, mother figure, they were carrying that with them wherever they went and wherever they traveled.
And Malik will always talk about his mother. And Abu hanifa will always talk about his mother. And students, including Abu Yusuf will say we will never jealous of anyone other than Janice from the mother of Abu hanifa. Because whenever he sees her, he stops the circle and say I'm going to be with my mother. So he will stop the circle and prevent us from learning. He didn't want to say we hated the mother or hanifa. But he said we were jealous from the mother of Abu hanifa. So I want you to focus on the household. And now I am focusing on the importance of the household but now focusing the light of the camera on the sexual dimension in the character of the child and how the parents
can contribute to that. The first thing to say
is that if a household is a decent Muslim believing household, there is an immediate sexual education to the child based on that. You tell me how if a child grows up in a household where he sees his parents praying, isn't he seeing his parents covering their private parts and covering their hour in preparation to pray.
So he initially becomes immediately at such an early age. He becomes aware that there are things in a moment of holy contexts in a moment of Salah that should not appear.
Imagine a child encountering the hijab through his mother, I inside the household not outside the household where there are strangers no inside the household where there are no strangers simply because his mother is going now to pray.
Do you understand and imagine then at the age of six
He himself goes through that experience. If he was a boy, or if he was a girl at the age of seven, she wears the hijab. We don't have to wait until she is 20 we don't have to wait until she is religious. We don't have to wait until she gets married. We don't. Why? Because since the age of seven, she has this friendly relationship with the hijab. Isn't this sexual education? Talking about sexual education, sexual education? What is sexual education? condoms and stuff I'm sorry to say this no sexual education is to know that I have parts in my body that should not show not in public because as you can tell, now, all the underwears are becoming public. There is no underwear now and
again, sorry, the fashion now is that everyone is walking the street showing the brand of his underwear What's this? What is the what is the under now it's not under anymore.
The child grows up in a household
in a household that respects private parts. that respects the concept of our
so that's number one. That's that you will like brothers and sisters, this is how the blocks now I can see the building growing and I can see the blocks cementing each other and pushing and supporting and the building strongest stronger I can see now the block of rebar that helping the block of sexual design. I can see the block of Eman and Akita that Allah is watching me helping the block of lowering the gaze I can see now the building growing up and I can see now the puzzle being completed in the mind and heart of the children. Number one, the Salah, and its role in educating the child sexually. Have you ever thought about Salah like this? Well, this is a dimension to think
about. Within now the household, Salah plays another role of fascinating roles. Salah in fact
organizes my encounter, to see my mother and father in the bedroom.
Number one, I have to seek permission and knock on the door and cannot just enter into the bedroom at any time. Or rather. And look at how Islam how Allah subhana wa Taala deals with the children before the age of puberty, Allah subhanaw taala knows that the child is walking and wandering and running and it would be extremely difficult for the child to be restricted. So three times only is enough. You remember how Allah dealt with alcoholics how Allah dealt with them by saying drink, but before the Salah refrain again, you know what, what is this telling you is telling you that dealing with human beings is a very difficult endeavor and things has to be taken slowly and gradually. And
someone who is below the age of puberty has to be trained you see the training now three times but after the age of puberty, he has to knock 24 hours all the time anytime. But the fascinating thing is that what is the nature of these three times they are linked with the Salah.
They are linked with us Allah, Allah subhana wa Taala says in the Quran yeah you Allah Dena Amanullah, Stephen Cohen, Latina, Malika tamanu come until the rest of the surah in Surah Chinook and we will discuss surah Noor in that session. Oh you who believe let you legal slaves and slave girls and those among you who have not come to the age of puberty, ask your permission before they come to you presence on three occasions. The essence of these occasions are linked with the Salah before fudger which is the morning prayer and while you put off your clothes of the noon day rest and after Isha late night prayer Now tell me brothers and sisters Tell me Wouldn't it be a
contradiction? If you asked your child to not concede permission three times a day before and after particular Salah if the mother or the father don't perform Salah?
What a contradiction? Or more realistically, would you even ask your children to seek permission during these three times if you don't even recognize them because you don't pray? That's why I said to you from the beginning that I am expecting the household and the parents to have reached a certain level for all these disciplining procedures to occur and if the parents are not aware of the overarching framework, then these procedures will not exist anyway.
Now think about the bedroom.
why Allah does not want the child to go to the bedroom
because he will see things that might not be now if you understand the bedroom to be a physical location. I think you're missing the point. It is what happens in the bedroom.
Is that right? You agree with me, I'm taking you now step by step, what if I
respect the culture of what is happening in the bedroom and indeed ask permission, or ask the children to ask permission to come and knock before they enter into the bedroom. But in real terms, I am transforming the culture of what happens in the bedroom, elsewhere in the house.
You want me to give you examples or make it more explicit, what if I am asking the child to seek permission so that they avoid seeing in the senses, for example, in the bedroom, but I allow them to see in decencies in the very magazine that is on the table, or in the very program that they are watching in TV, and nowadays, indecent programs don't have to be late at night. And you know what I mean? What is if the indecency is in their mobile phones, through the images coming in that mobile, what is if the indecency I'm talking about household, I'm not talking about the outside of the household and posters and taking them to the beaches. I'm talking about the household. So what I
want you to think about here is that the verse is not just talking about the bedroom, the verse is talking about whatever could be happening in the bedroom, and should not happen elsewhere in the household. So you miss the point, or you misunderstand the verse, When you ask your children to seek permission, but you put them on trial and test them
when you actually make them encounter what they could have seen individually.
Is this point Understood?
So, the bedroom could be a TV, the bedroom could be the internet. The bedroom could be a magazine. The bedroom could be
the mother not wearing proper clothes while she's in the kitchen.
She's in the garden, or the Father. Sorry to say this in the underwear in the living room watching TV, and big belly and having popcorn. This could be the image This is what I'm talking about. You want to have popcorn in your underwear go to the Bedroom Bedroom is where everything happens. But not the living room. No, no, I asked him to seek permission in the bedroom well, but you are transforming the bedroom into the living room. This is this is what I mean.
And then after puberty, the training continues. But this is now not training because it's a serious procedure. You have to ask permission 24 hours because now you've reached a level where you understand you have been praying since the age of seven. You'll have been into the habit of knocking on the door three times a day on a daily basis. Now it's easy for you are like brothers and sisters will lie I think that Islam is easy. The problem is that we practice it too late and that's why we find it difficult.
The other thing which happens in the household is where the children have reached an age that is close to puberty is to separate between them in the beds. Some scholar said if the bed is big, if the bed is large, then there is no problem and the financial situation and the rooms are smaller. Then they could sleep together but
each one have his own or her own independent blanket.
But not the same bed with the same blanket. Because when people sleep they become unconscious. Anything could happen and someone wakes up in the middle of the night to drink water and CC sister in all this brother. All this is Allah subhanaw taala he Allah subhanaw taala with Islam he's protecting you he doesn't want you to at that age to encounter anything that will create problems in yourself. Doesn't the Quran doesn't the Hadith say that when you look at a strange woman It is as if you have been hit with an arrow by the devil. And a lot of us feel that feeling you feel that Eman went down straightaway. You don't want to go to the mosque you don't want to do do you don't want to
read Quran straight away the man went because of that look. So when you want to challenge Allah is caring about you. He says knock the door. It might be a little bit difficult. I know you want to see your mother but not believe me. It's good for you. Yes, you will be separated from your beloved brother but only temporary or only quite a distance between you and only a blanket far away or only that next bit far away only to protect you so that when you go to the society in the summer you will not suffer. So these procedures are not to tighten you. They are in fact to emancipate and liberate you.
So a different film abajo
in the day there are two narrations one
Since the age of seven, this is rewiring, hacking, and it is sorry holla Shakti Muslim and Adobe said that this is a sound Hadith is Allah Allah to conserve as a ninja kobina furoshiki that when your children reach the age of seven, when separate between them, it seems that the age of seven is is very significant both in salah and in sleeping. And here we're not talking about brother and sister. We're talking about two sisters we are talking about two brothers. We are talking about obviously a brother and a sister.
There is another Hadith that is narrated by Abu Dawood sound senate as one where it says at the age of 10, but again, brothers and sisters is not this is the easiest thing to buy two sleeping bags. And that's it. This is not the point. The point is that this should be in coherence with an entire culture that is taking place at the house. So the bedroom is not transformed to the living room, I am separating between them. But at the same time, I'm asking the girl not to wear in decent clothes in front of her father and brother, even if not at the bedroom or in bed. So again, don't take the bed as just the bedroom, take the culture of what is expected that happens in the bed elsewhere,
inside the house, hold another procedure, which is again, quite simple. If the child is being trained to do it, is for the child to sleep to get into the habit of sleeping at his or her right side. And I'm talking about children that have reached the age of three I'm not talking about someone who's breastfeeding, you know, brother, baby, come sit on the right hand. No, I'm talking about someone who are you are training you're anticipating within a couple of years, he or she will reach the age of puberty so sleep on the right path. Now, don't worry what happens after he goes or she goes to sleep, whether on the stomach or the back or jumps from the window or sleepwalking. Just
at the beginning when he or she are sleeping,
to sleep at the so that he or she feels that when they go to bed, it's the right side and explain it say this is what also seldom is due and there are medical reports that say the position of the stomach This is more comfortable etc etc. So explain explain to to them why Iris wasallam said that.
And you are aware of the Hadith that for, for boys that is rather than girls where whoever sleeps on his stomach. This is how the devil sleeps, if ever the devil sleeps.
And nothing is wrong probably at a later stage. There is a problem. Of course if the parents themselves don't do that, but nothing is wrong with teaching the children at current now the cost of sleeping before going to sleep or just Bismillahirrahmanirrahim. And there are certain are some verses from the Quran that also Salah needs to read before going to sleep Coahuila, so that the child is looks at everything linking him or her to Allah subhanaw taala or to the dog. And don't think that it's that are difficult. They are not difficult if they are repeated. I'm talking about my daughter, three years old, she was knowing that card and no da and No. In fact, I don't know that
some of them have or sometimes forget, she reminds me she actually I tell her Sharon, because they are like parents, they have an incredible ability to absorb. And in the same way that they can memorize good things, they can easily memorize bad things. So if you insult one day or swear at your wife, they might internalize it and after a month do it for you. It's here in the memory but coming at the right at the right moment.
Okay, so this is what is happening in the household what is happening in the household that I am seeking permission what's happening in the household first is that I am aware that there are private parts that should not show and privacy and that during Salah these things should be covered. Number one, number two, I am aware that I should be asking for permission and knocking on the doors in times that are linked with Salah number three, I sleep in the same bedroom perhaps with my sister or my brother, but in a different bed or a different blanket. And I try when I sleep to sleep on my right side and say if possible if I could the car or the doors or the prayers of sleeping, this
isn't the household.
That's it. That's your mission. Of course, the boy or the girl is seeing you pray to talk nicely to your wife, etc. I'm not going to talk about I'm just talking about these procedures in relation to the section. Now he goes to the outside.
And watch is a big poster of someone who's waiting. I don't know what. It's unfortunate. I know that
but think about a child
that have been trained in the household to respect privacy
doesn't then become easy for him or her when he or she sees an image of indecency to lower the gaze. I know that this does not happen always, and certainly does not happen in our cases we are where we not a lot of us are brought up in a religious way. But certainly there is a difference between a child who have grown up inside a household that taught him all these things, and between a child who have not, would you agree with me?
But even then, even then, when he or she looks, what is your role?
The children that teenagers at the time of Salaam used to look at girls. Yes, out of admiration. Yes.
This Hadith is narrated in many narrations.
And the hero of that Hadith is actually the brother of Abdullah of an Ibis, who is called AlphaGo. Even Ibis AlphaGo is the brother of Abdullah bass. And he is related to our sauce lm when you hear the word abass it's the uncle of sauce lm But not only that, when you hear the word darbus is the relative of sauce lm But not only that, anyone who is related to sauce lm anyone who is a Hashemite was good looking, was handsome. So alpha was handsome. Abdullah was handsome, or saw Selim, you know it. You said it you thought about it. So alphas living Ibis is a young boy.
And this hadith is narrated by Abdullah but his brother
and look when the brother narrates about his brother, that my brother is no king.
Abdullah said cannon fog Lu rodef in Nabhi, so I'll sell them. And for the the Hadith is narrated in many ways, but just let me tell you the essence of the Hadees alphabet Leben. Ibis was with a resource alum at the back of the camel or the mule Can Can you imagine also selling taking many children at the back of Have you thought as a parent, as a father to take your child for a walk or in your car, just to discuss things with him. Or when you just go home, you just want the child to go to bed because you want to have rest from work. By the way the camel the mule could be could be the car, could be walking could be cycling, this action of taking children behind you. Or actually
holding hands with your child and going to the beach and talking to him in the middle of the night for example, and talking to him about lowering the gaze and stuff. What's wrong with that rather than you and him watching TV in the living room.
So alpha, Abdullah says al Faisal was behind Rasul saw seldom sitting with him on the camel or the moon, and a girl came.
And a girl came.
Now the gun was showing her face. And the girl came to ask a question
that, if you own the question, Are you interested? Well, basically, my father is quite old. Can I do hedge on behalf of him? That's the question. Don't tell me what's the answer because now we're going to *
the arrows but why she's asking the question. She's noticing that there is a beautiful boy sitting at the back of the sofa seldom so and you know, some sisters.
She's talking to her soon once upon Allah, do you have can you afford to look elsewhere? But Subhana Allah, they I don't think that they were aware of the luxury and the beauty and the honor of talking to her so seldom. They are they will they are not aware that one day youngsters like us are like you will be impact but college fantasizing about them. So she's looking at and which shows to me.
And sorry to say so bluntly, the strength of sexual desire. So even when the prophet SAW Selim is there
you look at Boys, and we all boys, even when also Salaam are sitting in front of you. You look at girls, because they were actually mutually looking at each other. But of course, as a girl, she was looking and looking at the other side and probably I don't know, playing with her hair or something, and looking shy, etc. But the boy was looking straight into the eyes.
And Subhana Allah, Allah Azza wa sallam was not busy asking about such a simple question to do with Hajj, but he was looking around keeping an eye on Allah.
Have an Ibis and always trying to turn his face the other way. I don't know and further might be have been looking at camels or from a girl to come. So he's turning. And the Hadith in the various narrations say that he turned his face once and he started looking again. And he's turned his face twice and started looking again and turned it three times, and also sell them turn it again. And I'll further said I continue to look despite this turning and also sell him was fed up and he left me
but he did not leave him in silence. He said to him
the son of my brother.
And when also seldom advises he has to give you these beautiful words. Oh, my beloved, or young boy.
I love you. In fact, he in one Hadith with Saudi Arabia, cos he says, well, is that in your head book? Well, I said I love you. Can you say to someone today I love you a brother. He will look at you like this and say keep away from me.
The word love has been so contaminated. I like you. I what I fancy you know i don't think he's I like you. Okay, that's enough. Okay, brother. I like you too. Thank you very much. Just send me a checkbook or something. But here one law here one line by Elia sound. I love you. Is this the point? tiara? Salalah? No, I want to give you an advice. But first of all, building the bridge. So if
he's talking to a father now,
in Oman, look, look at how he how he deals with the situation. in Oman hub Buffy basara. What have you thought of while he Santa rufina.
Oh, my boy. Oh, the son of my brother. This is a day. This day. By the way. It was a day of Hutch. Hence the question relation to Hajj. Also Salam was in fact, close to the cabinet. And so Pamela chose what do you know what to choose? Other than that? It shows me that even with the presence of the prophet SAW Selim in height, you will continue to look at girls. So what about if you are in Leicester Square? So
here? He says to him, or also I sell them?
This is a day. This is a special day. Whoever lowers his gaze?
And whoever protects his private part,
and his tongue, which has nothing to do with girls, but probably Yes, why not? in the future? Should we meet at five o'clock the tongue now begins to Hofer Allah, Allah will forgive him.
Actually, what is fascinating in this hadith is that also a Selim wasn't harsh on the boy.
because this is a process of training.
Number two, he didn't leave him because he's under age or anything like this, he had to say a few words. Number three, he spoke about private parts, while the boy was just looking perhaps out of admiration, nothing to do with the private part. But what also Sam was doing, training him
to look seriously at looking at girls
to look seriously meaning to the serious consequences that will be based on looking at girls, because there is a link between looking and the private part. Isn't this sexual education? Isn't this screen sex education that they are talking about?
Here, they educate you? Yes. Do sleep with a girl but don't get her pregnant, or under age pregnancy? No. Sex education here is not to fall in sex.
But it's not just about don't fall in sex No.
loose, linking you with Allah.
And look, brothers and sisters who never saw Selim says, also Selim did not say if you look at her next time, the police will arrest you out of sexual abuse or harassment, no, who fear Allah linking the child with Allah. And he knows or saw Selim that mentioned the word of Allah will have an impact on the child, because there is this ongoing process that the household was undertaking before this saying was said to him, so he said it in that context, that you knock the door that you respect your private party during Salah. So just do it outside the house, even if the girl was beautiful, a final item
I said the procedures or the advises that are to be taken inside the household. And I talked about the importance of lowering the gaze and the serious consequences based on not doing that outside the household. Let me just now. link the two together with a general advice. A third
procedure that the household ie the parents could undertake as well, that is related to both the what happens inside the household and what happens outside. And that is very simple procedure, but again presumes that the parents themselves are educated about that procedure. And this procedure is about explaining to the child
sooner to know,
that chapter of a note.
And I would urge mothers, fathers, but particularly mothers, because in fact, there is a saying of Mr. Maha pop. And this is saying, This is not a Hadith, take it or leave it, where he says, teach your girls to show and to memorize certain.
Because if you look at surah, to know, it's all about social ethics, social manners, particularly in relation to the sexual dimension.
And to understand why
you have to understand the context of that chapter and why it was revealed. And I would take this chapter two be one element contributing to the sex education of the prophetic society,
when an entire chapter is concerned with the relationship between men and women, and also sanlam is reading these chapters
to the community that has children inside it.
What more of education do you want?
Don't think that Islam, hid things from children don't think that Islam is waiting for the child to grow up, to understand, through experience know, through training, through Qur'an, through responsible and educated parents, he or she will be introduced to these things as early as possible, but not to get early pregnancy No, but as early as possible to become responsible, decent citizens in their respective community and society.
Surah Noor was a chapter that was revealed
for a rumor
that I shall have the law and have committed adultery.
And the rumor is serious because this is the life of Rasul Salah. And again, imagine brothers and sisters, just imagine
I showed Elena was a young girl at that time, and SLM was quite old at that time. And imagine how the Mona 14 would find it a very easy target to accuse a girl
in her honor.
Have you thought about it like this? Think about the age difference between the two.
Think about the boys that were in the community and in the society, including safarnama,
whom they accused
of doing that sin with her.
And the rumor spread itself in the community, so much so that companions fell into the trap, and participated in talking ill of eyeshadow, Yolanda, and Ayesha was devastated.
During that period, so much so that she asked for the first time to leave the house of our asylum, and go and stay with her parents. And her mother was a very serious situation.
It was a very dark situation that only wanted and demanded the Nur of Allah to come and shed light everywhere. Hence, it was called pseudo to know.
What was that? No, it was the Quran. With all its social advises, that will bring light into the darkness.
In surah Noor, the immediate verse that came,
you might think was a bit harsh. as Danny it was sunny family dokolo hidden in her mommy agenda. The woman and the man guilty of illegal sexual intercourse, flog each of them with 100 stripes. This when you when the when the chapter begins with that it's a very, you might think this is very harsh beginning.
The beginning might have been don't attack the honor of girls don't abuse the innocent, etc, etc. But why did it begin with that?
It began with that because Allah subhanaw taala wanted to put the ceiling first
and say this is your limit. If you exceed the limit.
You will be punished but before you
you are forced
To go to that limit, I'm going to protect you from the outset. And therefore, the entire chapter are talking about protective measures, protective measures
that will never lead you to commit adultery.
What are these protective measures? First of all, the entire chapter and that's why I'm saying children should be taught this chapter. It's about the protective measures. It talks about seeking permission before you go to the bedroom. What's this has to do with fornication and adultery? Well, training
number two, it's talking about getting your youngsters married as early as possible. What am I mean kamasan hain I mean, everybody come, well, Emma, and marry those among you who are single. And the Salah Hoon, the pious of your slaves and maid servants, if they are poor, Allah is all sufficient for his creatures. So at the beginning, seek permission, then if you can afford when you reach the age of puberty, to get married, get married. And then the there are verses that talks about lowering the gaze,
say to the believing men, that they should lower their gaze and guard their private paths that is pure for them. Surely, Allah is aware of what they do, and say to the believing woman, that they should lower their gaze and guard their private parts. This is a third procedure. A fourth procedure, you will notice in the sutra, there is hijab talking about hijab and the importance of wearing Hijab the fifth or sixth procedure is not to speak ill of anyone's honor, based on the lack of evidence,
and you know, sometimes I feel we do that. Now there is a culture here in this country of following celebrity scandals, hello magazine is nothing but following the actor and the actress is when they go to the beach scandals, including their privacy. The society here.
Don't speak to strangers they are we are told that this is a cold society, but they are hungry for scandals. They are hungry for royal news, they are hungry to include any private house on a level of a photo or gossip in the sun.
Allah subhanho wa Taala prevented all that culture based on that incident of eyeshadow delana if you don't know what has happened, or you have no evidence, then excuse me to say it shut your mouth.
Sometimes you see sisters talking about boys.
And sometimes you see brothers talking about girls, this is all targeted and addressed inside this chapter.
Verily, those who like that the crime of illegal sexual intercourse should be propagated among those who believe that you will have a painful torment in this world and in the Hereafter, even in this world.
And Allah knows, and you know, not Allah knows the consequences of you talking and gossiping and chatting in messengers in the internet, sending photos, looking at images, talking among yourselves and gossiping about things that can lead to talk about honors of people. All this is
haram Verily, those who accused chaste women and I would say chaste men as well, who never even think of anything touching their chastity, and are good believers talking about Ayesha and any decent women are cursed in this life, and in the Hereafter, and for them will be a great tournament, this is another procedure.
when you are asked to lower your gaze, and wear the hijab, and do not speak ill of anyone, unless you produce for evidences, otherwise you will be lashed at times. Are you serious? Yes.
Do you know and brothers and sisters, I want to dramatize this a little bit. Do you know that Omar Abdullah pub when he was halifa meaning he saw as in a crime taking place? He saw it. And he heard it.
And he went back and said to me,
I'm going to lash them.
This girl and this boy, he saw the boy he saw the girl. He heard them. So panelo What were they in the street or in the MA? He saw them?
had him every time he said yeah, I mean you can't do that and will lie. If you Utter the Name of the girl. You will be lashed at times. You know why? Because he needs three witnesses. him
Yes, I know I respect your armor, but you are one as a number. You are one. Yes, but I am armor. I am the one that also saw Selim said if there was to be a messenger after me its armor. I am the one who anticipated many things that then the Quran came to emphasize. Yes, but you are only one.
We need four.
And he did not Utter the Name of the girl and the girl
was left and no one knew her till that day. And Omar might have seen her many times in the market. And she will say assalamu Aleikum amirul momineen and he cannot touch her. But say walaikum salam wa rahmatullah wa barakato. Can you imagine that? Can you imagine that just community
I just community does not mean necessarily as a totally pure community. No, this there is adultery taken, there is fornication taken, there is a girl watching a boy and a boy watching a girl and also Salim shaking the hand and there is in fact a girl sleeping at that moment with a boy in that community with this by our hot tub, but no one in either case was lashed.
So when you take the chapter, and read the first verse, as Danya towards Zani, you will see then how difficult it is to establish evidence with lowering the gaze with seeking permission. With wearing the hijab with bringing four witnesses that means that this person who committed adultery is committed. So vulgarly in front of four people that he doesn't mind anymore. This person has been given the permission to get married, and the society has been encouraged to get him married. Yet he is challenging the feelings and the norms and the values of the society and going in front of everyone and committing adultery and fornication, doesn't he or she then deserve 100 lashes.
Think about that. Think about all that total a child
wouldn t then take seriously, adultery and fornication wouldn t then take seriously when he goes to school and he watches his other boys looking at pornographic magazines. He will not participate in that. Or when he is talking to his friend about going out in the night to meet this girl or to dance with that girl. He will not even listen to the gossip that is taking place. Why? Because he has been brought up in a household that taught him when he was seven or six. So rotten No.
This is fascinating. This is amazing. This is the children that we are talking about no children that knows everything about girls and they boost and they are proud that they know everything about girls through the internet or through DVDs or Now recently PlayStations
know, he is aware of sexual desires. He's aware of sex. He's aware of all these things, but he is aware that these are desires they have to be disciplined they have to be properly challenged, not suppressed and asking that allow one day we'll get married to a decent girl that will fulfill all these things that are natural and breed him children that are his concern most the children have the MD offspring. akula kolyada What's the Fulani? Welcome First of all, we know the following