Hasan Ali – We Have Children
AI: Summary ©
The speaker encourages viewers to make their marriage a successful marriage and to focus on the times spent in the early part of marriage. They stress the importance of giving each other 30 minutes a day and not talking about personal matters. The speaker also recommends a book called Riyalu Salihim, which is a recipe for building love and healthy relationships.AI: Transcript ©
Once you have children
once you have children, and may Allah bless
all of you with righteous children, say Amin.
You have children. You know what happens is
that
you used to see each other before a
lot. In your honeymoon period or in your
early married life period, you used to really
give each other a lot of time. Okay?
Now, after that what happens is when you
get one child,
one eye goes to one
your wife that you've got, her eye goes
to you with one eye and the other
eye is for your beloved
child.
After a little while, what happens if you
have 2 children?
With the 2 2 children, you have 2
eyes for your children.
She has 2 eyes for the children. You
don't see each other much, and then you
have 3 children if you get blessed that
far, but even if you have 2, you're
going from nappy to nappy, you're going from
poo poo to poo poo, from pee pee
to pee pee. You know what I'm gonna
say like? You're going from Christ to tears,
to laughter, to vomiting, to this, to cleaning,
to mess and whatever, and you don't get
to see each other. What I'm gonna ask
you to do is, if you wanna make
your marriage a successful marriage, please make sure
the times that you spent in the early
part of your marriage, you're still doing that
throughout your marriage.
In the beginning, you couldn't get enough of
each other. Do you guys understand? Yes or
no?
Some of you I'm telling you, you're you're
really shy today, I'm telling you. And none
of you wanna speak. Guys, you need to
speak to me when I'm giving when I'm
talking to you. Do you understand me? Yes
or no?
Guys, before their marriage, it was up till
3 AM in the morning.
3 AM in the morning, he was texting,
and she was texting as well. You couldn't
get enough of each other. After marriage, he
was like, oh my god. This is the
best life ever and everything. Well, what happened?
Well, after you've discovered things about each other,
what you should have done is you should
have carried on oiling your marriage. Marriage needs
oiling. What does that mean? I've been giving
this in my marital counseling. I don't I'm
not asking anyone to come to me for
marital counseling.
I've done it for several people, yes, but
I've done it for people who really, you
know, really close to me and so on.
And what you realize is that the marriage
becomes a little bit rough when people don't
give time to each other, like they used
to when it's the beginning of marriage. What
you need to do right now, even if
you're married, just get this done. Give each
other 30 minutes a day. 30 minutes a
day. That's it. This is 30 minutes of
me time, you time. This is 30 minutes
of our time. And in these 30 minutes,
kids have to be put to bed or
kids have to be in school. Okay? Depending
on what how you work and what your
schedule is. In those 30 minutes, you look
at each other and what do you talk
about? About? You don't talk about life inside
this house.
Okay? What do you talk about?
You talk about everything outside of this house
and everything outside there. You talk about hobbies.
You talk about friends. You talk about,
things that are in your mind. You talk
about politics. You talk about the news. You
talk about what's going on in the world.
And you talk about ideas. You talk about
things that happen, things that happen with other
people that you know. You talk about your
workplace. You talk about other stuff outside, and
you connect with one another every day, 30
minutes.
Right? Husbands come home, wives come home, and
the biggest crisis that we've got right now
is that we've got people on the phones.
You spend more time with other people outside,
you give them hours. You give them hours
and hours, but you don't give even 30
minutes to your beloved.
30 minutes. What's 30 minutes? Honestly, 30 After
that, you can go your ways and do
what you have to do. Be on your
phone. But give 30 minutes of time looking
at your face to face phones away. Right?
Give each other me time, you time, I
time, our time. Right? This is us. And
then over time, you will see your love
will increase
and it will always stay gelled. Even if
anyone's finding difficulty in marriage, please do this.
This is a recipe. One more thing you
need to add to this 30 minutes is
this, when you start your 30 minutes,
you get a book called riyalu Salihim.
It's a book by imam Nawi, and that
book you basically open it and you read
out from it one hadith, just one hadith.
Okay? You can find translations of Riad al
Salihin. Darus Salam has done a very good
translation out there. There are very, other good
translation out there. But anyway,
you can you find one good translation, husband
reads 1 hadith one day, wife reads a
hadith one day, that's it. Close the book
and then start talking to each other. This
hadith will bring you together on a religious
basis. Later on your kids should join you
in those 5 minutes or in those 10
minutes. If you can put that that
together as a family, it'll bring wonders from
your family. Even if there are non practicing
people in the family, they will become practicing
over time by going through this hadith, and
there are certain ayaats and verses in there.
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