Hasan Ali – My Wife vs My Mother
AI: Summary ©
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AI: Transcript ©
If you come home,
if your wife says something about your mother,
your mother says something about your wife.
Sometimes your big dilemma right, a
lot of brothers faces, some of you are smiling.
They're not laughing too loud because Shinobu love.
If you will side with your wife, you lose your mother.
On this, on this case, if you say with your mother, you lose your wife.
So what do you do?
What do you do? Does anyone give me a suggestion? What do you do?
Don't walk away, walk away, you still got the problem.
I sometimes say this. I said, sometimes, you know, if your wife gives you you know, a good hearing, good hearing sometimes, and you walk away, she will come back to her she's going to start a second football.
So you are football one are you going to go come back to you're going to deal with you're going to deal with the head on what do you do? What you do is you be a person,
a man, and you turn to your wife. And you turn to your mother respectfully. And you tell both of them where you are. You tell your wife, look, I want you to stop for the sake of work. For the sake that this is my mother, this is your mother. So just just stop, just let things go. She's a bit old, she's stay saying these things just this whole long, you know, Soldier complaints, then you tell them mother, go separately to the mother. Say, mom, Look, she's young. You know, she's she's on you're young, what one time, just let go. Let go whatever she said. And of course, your mother is not going to stop, you is not going to stop you in the middle. Just stay in the middle.
Stay in the middle, don't go left. Don't go right. You go left, you're going to cause one problem, you go right to cause another from vehemence in the middle. Now both have been stuffing, start from the right stuff from the left. Sometimes it's better to take stuff from both sides, Baba, me guys, sometimes better. Okay, if your wife is wrong, you will put in a place. If your mother is in the wrong, you will have to use your Hickman and trying to explain to you in the best way you can my mother's a mother to you. You're the baby. And I'm saying even though you're a father, you're still a baby. Right? And sometimes very hard to explain to the mother, what do you do, you stay in the
middle, and you hold your ground, and he wants to back off. That's an easy one, you tend to back home with your mother you're trying to explain to her, but don't lose the respect of your mother. You don't have to be harsh towards your wife, either. Just be him and keep them separate. I think sometimes we are in a difficult position, we have to do them, you have to manage in between. And what you then do is put your focus on something else. Put your focus on something else. I'm trying to try and make the situation such that both of them see something else. Because if you can make that if you can divert their attention in different directions, you could probably just you know
stay in survival mode. But it's not an easy situation. Sometimes it's difficult, you can't get out of a situation. You can't just solve it. But you have to manage what you don't do if you don't make the educated staff. If now you're rude to your mother, that's a crime you made.
If you're rude to your mother, that's a separate crime you did separate to what your wife what are the problems she's got with your mother, her mother in law, you've done a crime. If you're now if you now tell your wife something, she's in the right, and you try and you know, be nasty, too, in some way. Again, it's not right for you to do that. So you're in difficult position, but don't break just because you know, one chef said wonderful thing. Just because someone was cruel to you. does not give you the license to be cruel to them.
Because that's a separate cry. Now some people say this. Somebody will say he made me sweat. He made me sweat. No one can make you say,
no, no one can make you sweat. He made me angry. No, no, sir. You came angry. Oh, I can make you angry. If you decide not to be angry. Let's say for example, let's say right now, if a brother came up to me, and he's like, No, chef.
And then chef next to me says
Maduro is a little bit a little bit if it was a true case. And this guy got a mental problem. And he's having a go at me. And Jeff tells me that this person got
away because
sabotage me
excuse for them. I won't get angry. I don't need to get angry if a child came right now do something silly. Why should I get angry when the child is a child? But if I don't does it I can do exactly the same thing. I can stop, pause and take my time how I want to react. See my reaction? Is my reaction. I'm responsible for that. What they did to me they're responsible for that they're good they're gonna learn from Allah and give the give the answer to Allah but my reaction to what they did is a separate thing. Allah will ask him to Denton, why did you refer them? Nobody can make you search anyone. Nobody can make you be angry at anyone is my reaction to whatever the situation is anyway,
just to conclude, is that when information is facts, you make sure that you verify stop in your tracks, go to the source, find out who said find out equals true. Find out some of the manipulated finding somebody misconstrued information, find out along the way Chinese whispers study, sometimes Chinese whispers that one guy says something another cause is not another cousin nothing. And then in the end, it turns into something else go to the original source. If you can't get to the original source, do Turaco was taco taco is you stop you need to go this way or that way. You don't even bother with anything. No