Channel: Hasan Ali
© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.
brothers and sisters, this one's about emotional blackmail. Okay, so a number of people have told me that in certain situations, you know, it could be for Shadi, it could be for marriage, it could be for something else in the house, it could be because certain family members want you to move in a certain direction. It could be a career they want you to take, it could be a business link that they want you to make. It could be, could be anything really to do with your life. But one thing is that sometimes parents, sometimes brothers and sisters, sometimes siblings, sometimes families, relatives, and sometimes even friends, they try the emotional blackmail card, okay? So what they do
is that they put it, they put a lot of pressure on you, because of your you know, because the fact that you're not agreeing with them. Now, sometimes the pressure can get so mad so much that it really makes you stressed out, it stresses you out. And I know that situation, because I've been in a situation where family have put emotional blackmail on me when I was young. And I could sit here tell you a long story about it. But I'll leave that for another day. But what happens at that time is that you're surrounded by these people. And these people are also saying, you know, emotional blackmail is when they when they bring in emotions as a way of putting you in the corner. So it's
like, if you don't do this, you'll see what I do. You see how angry I get, oh, my god, you're not gonna do this. Did you hear this and they gang up on you Did you hear is not going to listen to us. I mean, he's our son or She's our daughter, she's not going to agree to what we've said. And people get people in at that time, they don't know what to do. Now, I want to give you a couple of tips at that point.
I want you first to find a good man, a person who is level headed, it doesn't have to be a man, it could be someone who's even level headed. Anyone who's level headed, someone who's unbiased. It's good if it's a man because he'll give you religious advice as well. But just like ordinary people as well, not not every ordinary person is level headed, not every man is level headed as well and I'll be straight with you, you know, you have to find the right person who is going to give you that advice. Now when you're in that situation you need someone like that to talk to them just so that you know you're on the right track. Talk to them because you could be in the wrong You know, that's
that's the first thing you could be in the wrong but if they're level headed person who's unbiased tells you that you're you're in the right position, and it's their fault for putting you in this in this sort of, you know,
you know, the situation where they emotionally blackmailing you, then you should, every day you need to sit down and reassure yourself, you need to say that I'm doing the right thing and you need to talk to someone out there. Or you need to consult with an Imam or consult with the Quran, Sunnah and feel that yes, what I'm doing is correct. I mean, I don't want you to just look at the Quran in the black and white I'm talking about if you look at the Quran, Sunnah should be with an Imam or someone who's level headed, who's telling you look, this is what the Quran Sunnah, says this is the situation. And you you should know that that you're on the right track. So a person needs needs that
Okay, next thing, what you do is, look, just go through it with your full, you know, heart, that you're going to do what what's good for you in your life. Now, let's just say for example, it's about it's about a marriage. Sometimes you don't want to get married to someone, and they're putting pressure on you and saying, it'd be really good if you get married to this person really good for this reason, that reason, and your heart says I don't want to get mad at that person. For it could be anything could be looks, it could be, you know, the person just doesn't, doesn't sort of, you know, it's not connecting with you, it could be that reason, but it's your life, it's your life. You
know, one thing I'll say to you, all these people who are putting pressure on you right now, emotional blackmail and so on. After you get married, after you do what they want you to do after you make the business relationship after sometimes even for one of these schemes or something they might they might put pressure on you. If the pressure on you just do what you think is right, and just hold your breath and just go through it. Go through the storm. Don't worry about it. Don't worry about what these people are saying. Because if you listen to them, after you do your thing and you're unhappy, they won't care for you. They will not care for you. They will not care for your
problems, anything they'll say well, that's your problem. Now, seriously, after you've done that shoddy after you've married that person, they'll turn around to say well now you look out for or you look after him that's that's your problem. And this is a horrible um, how can people put others in this situation so what you do is forget the pressure and go through it. And one of the other tips I'm going to give to you is send a lot of Salawat on the Prophet sallallahu wasallam carry on saying Allahu Allah, Muhammad Allah Allah, Mohammed, Ibrahim, Allah Allah bryman acaba, de Madrid and sit down and just think that Allah is using the angels to send your solo ad right to the Rhoda of the
Hello and just think of this of this whole thing happening and the prophets Allah Allah has put on him this Salawat incense and and just think about the prophets of Allah, Allah Islam and just carry on sending Salawat cutting sending us a lot this will do two things in return. One is it's going to calm you down. One thing it'll calm you down seriously a lot of Slovakian proposals will come down. Second thing is when you send a lot of Salawat a lot of drew Salawat on the Prophet sallallahu wasallam he will receive that according to the Hadith and he will send his hands back to you and each time you will get 10 mercies on you but apart from that, when he sees you sending Salawat on
him excessively, then he from the next world, in the form of his rule or his soul will make a lot of law for you. And he will his draw in the sight of Allah will be accepted in your case, and inshallah you do this and you go through that and do what you think is right after your consultation is admired. salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.
The suffer curriculum covers all the Islamic educational needs of young Muslims today in a phone simple and engaging way tried and tested for over 15 years at one of the UK's leading methods the curriculum has been adopted by hundreds of institutions around the world and makes your child's journey in seeking knowledge easy, meaningful and dynamic. This innovative and comprehensive curriculum covers for unlimited read Islamic Studies, draws and surahs as well as Arabic in an integrated and structured way. Visit sepher publications.org To find out more