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Crush The Last 10 Days of Ramadan #14

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Haleh Banani

Channel: Haleh Banani

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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Alright, so I like Bismillah was salat wa salam ala rasulillah it is the last 10 days, and I want to help you, I want to empower you. And I want to give you all the psychological tools and methodologies to crush the last 10 days. So let me know in the comment section if you are in say me if you're ready to crush the last 10 days in sha Allah. Alright, so everything that we do in life is based on seeking pleasure or avoiding pain, everything you can think of. And we do more to avoid pain than to seek pleasure. And for everything that we do, there are four consequences for consequences. All right. So there's either short term pain or short term pain, I'll give you some

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examples so that you can relate to this short term pain is going to the gym, okay, that can be painful, short term pain is sitting and studying till like two o'clock in the morning for a test. All right, or you can have short term pleasure short term pleasure is having a pie piece of a pie or a whole pie. Or it could be you know what I'm going to skip class today I'm going to just sleep in, there's long term pain, long term pain is you know, let's say you just ignore your health. And you end up with some major illnesses. The major long term pain is going to the Hellfire not seeking done long term pleasure is let's say someone who has studied so hard, and they finally achieve their

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success. And they have a career or the ultimate long term pleasure is attaining, Jenna, right? So everything that we do can fall into one of these categories, right? And so we need to recognize how much time are we spending in those short term pleasures? You know, the things that we do the things that just makes us, you know, we enjoy it for a little bit. But what about the long term pain, don't forget that. And what this does, what we do the last 10 days, is that it puts everything into perspective. It helps us to focus on that long term pleasure, the long term pleasure of attaining Jenna, we need to put our short term pleasures aside, we need to put focus a little bit on the short

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term pain, maybe the staying up at night, maybe pushing ourselves and that will help us to attain the long term pleasure. And you know, purpose is your soul's oxygen, without a sense of purpose, your soul will be gasping will be gasping for air until it gets it. You know, I have so many clients who come in, and they have a happy marriage. They may have healthy kids and abundance of wealth, but they are slowly dying inside because they have no sense of purpose. And when a when a person has a sense of purpose, and everything is so much more enjoyable. They feel like they they wake up in the morning with excitement with motivation. And so you need to have a compelling reason. You need to

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have a compelling reason to do anything challenging. And you need to find your why. Why is it important to crush the last 10 days for you? Why is it you know, give me Why don't you write down and communicate with me? Why do you think it's so important? What is your compelling reason to have this last 10 days be so important to you? Right? So one of the things you can think about is the fact that many of us have lost loved ones this past year this past year alone, my husband and I lost five family members within three months. Okay. Those were challenging tests. And what happened was that these individuals thought that they would make it to this Ramadan they thought that not only

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will they make it to this Ramadan, they have many years to come. They didn't think that they're going to all of a sudden have a heart attack. They didn't think that they're going to all of a sudden die of this illness. They have no idea and who knows how they spent their last Ramadan maybe that was the Ramadan that they slacked off maybe that was the Ramadan that they didn't really get into it. So for you and I we need to have our compelling reason is that this could be our last Ramadan this could be our these could be our last 10 days. So when you look at it and you think that this is our my last 10 days, how would you live your life? How would you spend it? Would you spend

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it surfing the net? Would you spend it watching videos? Or would you be begging for forgiveness? Would you be weeping with the sense of connection and who shoe with every prayer every sujood be more meaningful?

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If you felt that this is truly your last Ramadan, ever, and that's why when you have a compelling reason, and that is I want to make the most of this Ramadan, I want to make this as if it is my last. And that when you have that feeling, I tell you, you're not even going to need to you don't need to motivate yourself when you have that why when you know why you're going to do something and you have a compelling purpose, you're going to jump out of bed, you're going to run to that or on you're going to do things and that's why it's so important to understand the psychological ways of programming yourself and, and training yourself so that all this will be so easy in sha Allah. Okay,

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so epinal Chelsea said, that race horse knows that it is nearing the end of the track, it exerts all of its effort to win the race, do not allow the race horse to be more clever than you For verily deeds are judged by their conclusions. So if you didn't do well, with welcoming Ramadan, then perhaps you will do better bidding it for a while. How beautiful is that? How beautiful is what even though Chelsea has said that it is our deeds are judged by not the way we started, because many of you I'm sure are very maybe frustrated, maybe disappointed maybe guilty. You know, a lot of clients will tell me I just this Ramadan was just not the same. I have my kids home, I'm overwhelmed. I have

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so much going on. I wasn't able to do much. Well, I'm telling you now take all that guilt, take all that frustration, take all that anger and channel it, channel it into the last 10 days say okay, I messed up, I wasn't as good as I want it to be. But now I'm going to push forward. Okay, how many of you are going to push forward and have a good ending? Okay, say me. All right, because we want to really get motivated and make sure that we are finishing the race strong. finishing the race is the most important thing, it doesn't matter. Even when you find people who are running a race, they could be sprinting, they could be way ahead, and then someone from the back will just come speed up

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and beat everybody, you be that person that doesn't matter how far behind you are, doesn't matter what just euro doesn't matter what you did the past two weeks, it's how you finish the race. And that's what I want you to focus on. Okay, how's that, as best we said, improve your performance and what is left of time, and you will be forgiven for that which has already passed. So take special care of the time you have left. Because you don't know when your soul will be turned over to Allah's mercy, we don't know, we don't know if we're gonna make it to this evening. But at least if we have the intention right now, you and I, let's make the intention that I am going to make this the best

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last 10 days of my life, I'm going to crush these last 10 days, it's going to be so powerful, that is just not going to compare with anything else I've ever done. And when you have that intention, even if our souls are taken away from us, right this minute,

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it's written for us, it will we will count I will count for us as if we did the way we had the last 10 days. inshallah. Now what I want to introduce you is having a spiritual mission statement, a spiritual mission statement we have, we have businesses, there are businesses or schools will have a mission statement, right? You can't have a business without having a vision. You can't run a school without thinking this is what we stand for this is what's important to us. And yet we go through life without a spiritual mission statement. We go through life and our whole purpose is to worship Allah, our whole purpose is to attain gender. And yet, and yet we don't even have that spiritual

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mission statement to tell us, you know, what we need to focus on. Usually, it's not even a mission statement is just the list. It's a list, I need to do this, I'm going to do this, and you just check off the list and then you think you're done. But this mission statement, I want you to put some time, effort and energy into it. And what it needs to do is that it needs to encompass your commitment to not just worship

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but have the worship transform your character, right. We need the character transformation, because all of us know people who have read the Koran, maybe 20 times. Some people do multiple times in the Ramadan. We know people who have PhDs we know people who have you know they are whether it is Scott

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Or titles or whatever it is, we know people like that. And yet, they may treat people unkindly. They may, back by they may slander, they may not do what's just, and what is the problem there? Is it a lack of worship? Is it a lack of understanding? Is it a lack of knowledge? No, it is a lack of taking all that and improving the character. That is what is missing. And that is why this mindful Ramadan has been all about transforming our character. Because unless we work on our character, then the amount of worship that we do is going to not serve us completely, definitely, we'll get the reward, we get reward for reading the Quran, absolutely. But how much more reward will you get, if

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you actually read it, understand it and then implement it? How much more valuable will those prayers be? If that means that it transforms your character into having more patience, and having more love and having more forgiveness within your relationships, I feel that we're only taking a portion of the reward, we're only taking a portion of this reward, when we are only checking off our list. We need to take all of that and think to ourselves, how can I become a better person. And that mission statement needs to encompass that, that I'm going to take my worship, I'm going to take all this and I'm going to become a refined individual, I'm going to have a character that is worthy, that is just

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so impeccable, that it will be emulating the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And the crap character transformation is the pot of gold most people miss out on, they're just busy. They're just busy checking, ticking, ticking, and they miss out on that transformation. So don't be one of the people who simply do a long list of deeds without reflecting and making yourself beautifying your character. So there's three steps, three steps to make your dreams, your dreams about having this amazing. Last 10 days, your dreams about ascending spiritually, your dreams about being the best version of yourself. There are three steps into our reality. Okay, first and foremost, you have to

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take inventory of yourself, take inventory of who you are. Okay? Now, you've got to be very honest with yourself, you have to be honest and recognize what is it? Who are you? What are your shortcomings? What can you improve? What has held you back? Why haven't you reached your goals, right? And when you're truly honest with yourself, that's when you can make the change, okay. And that's why I tell my clients who come in, I'm like, you know what, you're halfway there. Just the fact that you're admitting that you have a problem. You're halfway there. Most people are in denial, a lot of people think that they don't have anything to work on. And that is the biggest

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misconception thinking that you have nothing to work on is the biggest misconception. And that's when you actually lose, you lose. When you think you know, enough, you lose when you think that there's nothing to improve within yourself. Because at any given time, there are at least five to six different things that I could work on myself and I can improve myself. And so if we have that mindset, if we know that we can improve then that really sets that really sets of for us that we can just recognize what shortcomings we have. So then the second, you know, that we need to have. Second thing is have the right mindset, have the right mindset. Focus on what you will do, not what you

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won't do. Okay? A lot of times people are like, well, I won't do this. And I won't do that. I'm not going to be lazy. You know what the brain does. When you make a statement like that. The negative word is canceled out. Okay? And all you're saying you're you are it's like a mantra. So it's like someone saying, I'm not going to eat junk, don't eat junk, what don't is canceled on you're saying eat junk, eat junky junk, and then some people will come and tell me, you know, I feel like my brain is working against me. It's like, No, no, you just don't know how to talk to your brain. Okay? So you need to focus on what you will do, not what you won't do. Okay? And the third thing is to set

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SMART goals. Okay, smart. This is the acronym. The S is to be specific. You got to be specific, okay? Instead of saying I'm going to I'm going to read a bunch of you know, I'm going to

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A bunch of baronne can No, I'm going to read this many pages. And then it has to be the M is for measurable, it has to be measurable. If someone says, I want to be more spiritual art, can you measure spirituality, I want to be more content, you've got to have something that is measurable, right? And so and then a, it has to be attainable. If you set something impossible, and you can achieve it, you're just going to set yourself up for failure. So it's got to be something attainable, the R is for relevant. Set a relevant goal right now, it's the last 10 days, you know, we're focusing on worship or work, we are focusing on self improvement and character transformation.

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And then you start to, you know, make plans for cleaning out your closet, it's not relevant, right, so stick to relevant plans, and then the T is for time bound, you've got to have a deadline, all of us work with deadlines, okay. So if you could write down in the chat, the SMART goals, okay, and what it stands for, so you guys can remember. So S is for specific, M is for measurable, A is for attainable, R is for relevant, and T is for time bound, okay? So it set these goals. And now you have, you know, the pain and pleasure, right, we work through that we have a compelling reason why this might be my last Ramadan. And now we have the right mindset where it's like, I am going to

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crush this I want, I'm going to focus on what I can achieve. And you've taken inventory of yourself. And now you have these smart goals. Okay. And then I want to tell you about setting some practical, right, some practical steps, because that part of it was the most important, okay, and that's the part we never get, right? We're just told, stay up, stay up all night, finish reading the are on, do your takeoff. But then there's a whole psychology behind why one person is able to do that, and another person, just slacks off. And so I've given you the psychology behind how to how to propel yourself to take those actions. And so now I'm going to give you some of the more practical steps.

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Okay, so some of the practical stuff. First of all, it's just this concept of, you know, taking a vacation for a law. You know, we take summer vacation, we take spring vacations, we do all sorts of winter vacation, when have you taken a vacation for a law, and this idea of dedicating your time and this year Alhamdulillah, Messiah tabernacle, I had the opportunity to do that. And I've taken some days to really focus and put myself that not just the service of Allah, but also just the top board, reflecting, learning and improving. And so this idea of really dedicating time, dedicating time to just self improvement and understanding and learning our religion and applying it, it's just, it's

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just beautiful. It's such a beautiful thing to do. Now, I understand in the many years past, I wasn't able to do that. And so maybe you're restricted with your work with your kids. And you can't do that. And I don't want you to feel discouraged, you can make the NEA to do and take off right and tick off. It's like that time you are dedicating purchase alone time with Allah. Now many times people do the takeoff, in in the masjid, okay, and doing it at the masjid is, is beautiful. And I have amazing, amazing memories of taking my kids. And we were in Houston, I would do antique cars and stay up all night and, and it was just one of the most amazing memories growing up and having

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the kids grow up. And you can do it either at the message or you can go by yourself or for women, what is really special and you know, the special privileges that we have is that if you have kids at home, and you're not able to go to the message, you can do it to cuff in your own home. So you designate a place you say I am now in my time of intercom you have you're on your reading, you're making the eye you're doing your prayers, and that counts for you. It's not beautiful. And so if we have that sense of, you know, just making the intention of I'm going to have this time Allah, it could be it could be 30 minutes, it could be two hours, it could be four hours, whatever it is,

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don't be little, don't be little what you're doing because I know there had been stages in my life that I was consumed with little children. And I couldn't do the let's say what the amount of worship that I wanted to do but you know what's amazing with the content

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concept of worship in, in Islam is that it's comprehensive, it is comprehensive. And everything that you do is counted as worship, if you do it with the right intention, you do it with a good, you know, with a good attitude. And when you do that, then it's so it's all counted as worship for you. So don't be little it. And if you're working, and if you are not able to do as much, what I would say is keep your tongue moist with the remembrance of Allah, you know, continuously do that they can continuously do that as the hot, you know, you can always do to ob and stack the worship, stacking the worship means that say you're already doing the prayer, add the reading of Koran with each

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prayer. And this makes it easier, it's not just establishing a new behavior or a new habit, you're stacking it on to a previous habit that you already had. And I would really recommend that, you know, in addition to reading the varad, and completing the Quran, please take some time to read the translation, please take some time to understand that. I mean, really, there are few people I mean, there are people who are, you know, maybe just fluent in Arabic and everything that they read, they understand. But I know that many of my Arab friends and many of you know people that I know that even if they're educated, they may not understand all the verses, right. And so taking that time to

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read it and to understand that it's just going to be so much more meaningful and powerful. And so

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I have made it a commitment this year, instead of just focusing on completing it, is by learning it, understanding it, and making sure that that's that's what's gonna affect my heart, by by understanding the verses is what is going to make me change my character. I think part of the problem in people not having maybe the right character is that they're just focused on the worship, I got to finish the are on Now what did I learn? What did I understand what am i does not have none of that has been maybe as important. But we're going to make it important this year, this year with the last 10 days, we're going to take even if it's one page, let's say you want to read 10 pages,

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fast super speed is like some people do. But take that one page where you read it, you read the you know translation, you read the tough steed and really say I'm going to implement at least one thing, and that's going to be powerful. And you know, doing one of my favorite were acts of worship in especially in Ramadan is when you you pray fudger right. And you could do it at home if you're a woman or at the masjid and you stay reading the Koran making dawn till shutup time and that's about an hour after fudger praying to rock rockets, okay, just two rockets of Doha prayer and you get the reward of Hajj and Umrah. It's so merciful, like Allah is just so generous. So if we do that,

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imagine the last 10 days that's like 10 had an ombre and that amazing and really look out for the odd nights. But you know, I know that the odds night are very special, but every night is special. So don't only go don't only exert yourself on the odd nights, just make it like your effort. Try to make it each day even like giving a little bit of setup. You know, in talking about South Africa, we have a beautiful setup program that is going on 100% of the donations going to the matter of Dallas. They are doing an amazing job providing food for refugees. There's homeless, there are homeless, homeless Muslims. And this one story that really touched my heart was the Syrian brother. He

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actually wasn't Syria, and there was a bombing and he lost two of his siblings. He came to the US ended up in Dallas. Matt have helped them it. They helped them they got him on his feet. He got a job in construction. Within a few months he fell and he broke every bone in his body, every bone in his body had like these nails in it and supine Allah because that'll help them because that he they were there for him. He had such a positive outlook and he's like, you know what, I am going to recover from this. I'm going to make it and he did. And just last week he came to matter of and he said you know what, look, I'm cured, I've made it. So they are changing lives every single day and

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if you give your psychotic Money, Your donation will go directly to them. So I really hope that you help this cause we are right now Mashallah Tabata cola $22,000 we have raised for them where our goal is, you know, by this week, if we can do 30,000 and if we wanted to give as much as we can, and I want you to know that what we're learning

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In these, you know, the mindful Ramadan about changing ourselves about improving, you know, character transformation, it can't be squeezed, you can't have a crash course on character transformation. It is something that goes on, you know, it's a year long lifelong project. And that is why I created the mindful Hearts Academy which is my mentorship program and it's been going on for now the past two years Mashallah Tabata Kala to run marathons ago, I decided that I really want to dedicate my time and my energy in mentoring individuals who just to be the best version of themselves as to, you know, reach their full potential to build the self esteem to gain emotional

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intelligence. And this is what I've been dedicated to the past two years, every week coming online. And these are all exclusive material. It is, it is not a bunch of my old videos, because you know, someone actually suggested that I said, you know, people can get my videos online and for free, I want to do exclusive material, I want it to be really rich. And I really want it to be what what's really revolutionary about is that I made the self development just so affordable and so accessible. So, in sha Allah, if you want to take this character transformation to the next level, if you want to really be serious about emulating the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam and you want to be the best

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version of yourself, join us on the mindful Hearts Academy and the registrations are now open and you will be in in the greatest company Mashallah the sisterhood there is phenomenal. And what we see is that everyone is supporting one another It is really what sisterhood is meant to be unfortunately within our community sometimes we don't really see much of that sisterhood there are some special beautiful sisters definitely. But overall you find that there's a lot of you know, competitiveness, there's a lot of pettiness, there's a lot of, you know, backstabbing going on. And you know, we have created a community that is safe, that is welcoming, that will encourage you that will pray for you.

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I mean, support Allah, any sister that comes on, and she puts on something that you know, she's she's going through a divorce, everyone pours their love, and they pour dough on someone, their child is sick, the same thing. Oh, I'm, you know, I'm struggling, I don't feel good about myself. Everyone builds her up, oh, I achieved this, I passed my test everyone celebrating. So this is really what sisterhood is supposed to be like. And we're demonstrating it here on the mindful Hearts Academy. And it's, you know, it's it's nine phases I do live every, every week. And Alhamdulillah. It is it is really a it's powerful. It's powerful. Because I give you the step by step in building

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your self esteem the step by step and how to have relationships and how to build, build yourself, build others, and what I have heard, and those of you sisters who are on who are part of the mindful Hearts Academy, please give your feedback because these are the sisters who have been on and they've transformed themselves. And it's been it's been a beautiful journey. And we would love for you to join us it is the mindful hearts.com Registration is open and I really pray that Allah will bless all of us to experience les little pad. We didn't mention, we did mention it briefly. But Laila, as you know, it is it's phenomenal. How generous Allah is and when we exert ourselves, right? It is

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like with 1000s of years and months of worship, so we

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Yeah, I'll say Alfie Shara is better than 1000 months of worship. So imagine one night and we'll get so many rewards. So May Allah give us a little God May Allah help us to really crush these last 10 days of Ramadan, May Allah help us to transform our character, to not just do a list of worship, but to really take that worship and to really improve ourself and your love. May Allah help us to emulate the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam in our behavior in our treatment of others and in the way that we interact in sha Allah to sakala Hayden for you know, for tuning in and share this with your friends with your family, because the last 10 days are upon us and you know, every single person who

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benefits from this and applies it you will share in the rewards so please let me know in the comments section, what you're going to do what your goal is, and and how ready are you to crush the last 10 days in sha Allah does not call

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Lafayette and for tuning in, I really appreciate it.