Channel: Haleh Banani
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Ruby learning in a shame on your
Have you seen the one who takes as his God his own desires? then would you be responsible for him does this sort of work on I am number 43. So imagine if we had a society that focus on training people not to be impulsive, not to have this excessive indulgences and have self control. And that for us is the month of Ramadan and hamdulillah It is really a boot camp for disciplining ourselves. It's a boot camp to discipline our heart to discipline, our actions, our thoughts, everything and our hearts in order to improve ourselves. Now I'm going to share with you 10 psychological benefits of fasting because we all know the spiritual aspect, Mashallah the shoe have reminded us of the
benefits, the spiritual aspect, and we all get that eemaan Raj, I'm going to talk from a more psychological perspective. And there are 10 of them. And each one what's really fascinating about it, is that it trains us it is the characteristic that we need to attain genda. So whatever the benefit is, that is the trait that we need to be able to attain to them. And it trains us to get to a stage where we have Taqwa because the whole purpose of Ramadan is to establish that taqwa where Allah says in the Quran, why
not sign it.
But as for he who feared the position of his Lord and prevented the soul from unlawful inclination than it did, indeed, paradise will be his refuge. So we want to get to a point where we get these desires, we're tempted, and yet we're gonna be strong, because we're thinking about meaning our Creator, we have so much love and respect, and we're in awe of a law, that we won't take those steps. And what's interesting about it is that, like I was saying how every psychological benefit is basically the characteristics that we need to attain genda. It's like a lot preparing us preparing us and giving us the tools we need. It's like, if you have final exams, right now, it's final exams
time, right. And you have teachers, teachers who really care about the performance of their students, they will give them some really tough preparation, tough preparation to ensure that they do, who will ensure that they will succeed on the test and what method Okay, so
the first psychological benefit is discipline, first psychological discipline is discipline. Because anything that we do that required, any things that we want to achieve requires a lot of discipline, and you find that a person who can control their eating and their drinking, they can control anything. So this gives us so much self control. And it also helps us to train to adjust to difficult, difficult circumstances. And if that's the point of reference, it sets the point of reference. So what I feel that it does, mainly is that it's a bootcamp to get you in spiritual shape, right? So having that benefit and so now we're going to talk about how it is needed to attain
genda. First of all, the reason why do we need discipline? Why is that so critical in attaining genda? First of all, we see that with, we're living in a society that the focus is all about immediate gratification. We want instant pleasure, right? So if we train ourselves for that delayed gratification, that is what's going to get us to achieve, because that is the ultimate delayed gratification. If we want done as our goal, then we need to train ourselves not to just look for instant happiness, instant gratification. It also is a form of self control. When we have self control, then we can do anything. It's not succumbing to temptation, right. So we see that a lot of
the youth I'm doing blitzie therapy we with they are faced with so many challenges, so many temptations and if they don't have the discipline to hold back
If they don't have the ability to say, you know what, I'm not going to take this, I'm not going to try this alcohol, I'm not going to watch this pornography, if they don't have that ability, then they're going to falter and not be able to attain genda. The second benefit is emotional management, emotional management. That is when you are able to when you're thinking about fasting, I think chef Omar Suleiman was talking about how there is a spiritual way of nullifying your fast, right, whether you lie or you gossip or you talk, you get angry, maybe you get into a fight. So that ability, just being aware of your emotional relationship and your emotional reaction, then that if we can control
that, that is going to be very powerful. And that is what we need in order to attain junda. As far as our relationship, every relationship that we have, can be either a way to earn Jenna, or it can be a way of earning the hellfire. So that relationship you have, for instance, with your spouse, if you don't have a way of controlling your emotions, because I do a lot of marriage counseling. And I can tell you, many people have a problem with this, many people don't know how to control their emotion, I just had a case where an individual they were unpacking and the husband came home, there were two boxes remaining from the 120 boxes, he got so angry, and he got physical with his wife,
because she didn't have the two boxes finished. That is a lack of self control, that's a lack of ability to emotionally control the reaction. And then you have sometimes sisters that may react with a lot of the yelling and the screaming, or the crying, which really affects the unity of the marriage. So when we learn how to have emotional control, we're not reactionary, we're in control of our emotions, then that's going to help us attain jhana. And you find that a lot of times, people cut the selector hand, this is the bond of kinship, I actually had a case where a brother came in, he was young, he had just gotten married. And he goes that he got in such a big fight with his
father, on the on the just planning the wedding, that they didn't speak to each other for two years, two years not talking to his father, because of a dispute over their wedding. And you find that upon a lot, people just cut the ties of kinship and they don't even realize the implication of this. A lot of there's a hadith watse that says that Allah has named to lots of Ryan from his name, who ever cuts, this kinship has been cut from my mercy. So we can't take it lightly. We can't just think oh, I don't like my I don't like my brother, I'm going to cut him off. I don't like my mom or my mother in law's, I'm just going to cut them off. They have been put in our life for a reason. There's
wisdom for every single person that is in our life. And what I like to look at it as those difficult people are there to teach us something, the person who irks you the most, they're there to make you either more patience to make you may be more grateful for those people who are so friendly and so loving. And they also teach you to have that patience, right? So look at them as an edger making machine, look at them as a way of earning reward, how the more difficult they are, the more reward you're gonna get. Okay, so the first one we said was what the first psychological benefit discipline, it teaches us discipline and delayed gratification, right. The second one is the
emotional management, it teaches us how to control ourselves. Because we don't want to nullify our fasting, we're fasting, we're hungry, we're thirsty. We don't want to nullify it by getting angry or lying or doing anything like that. The third benefit is empowerment. Okay, it's empowerment. It's that feeling of accomplishment you get, you know, when you have been, let's say, how many of you have been on a diet and you are able to resist? Anyone know?
When you have, let's say a table full of sweets, you look at it and you resist and you go for the fruits. How good do you feel? Okay, it's tough at first, right? But that feeling that you can control yourself, right? I remember going to the public schools here. And really the first 12 years I didn't have any Muslim friends. And so when I was when it was Ramadan, I would be hanging out with my friends. It's lunchtime, they're eating and I would just, I would just be with them. But I felt so strong. Because when you can do something that you believe in and you stand up for what you believe in. That's an amazing feeling of empowerment. Okay, and so how can that
Help us how are we? How are we empowered for attaining China, we need that empowerment because we need to be able to stand up for what's right, we need to be able to say no to a lot of things that come up. If you feel empowered, you can do that. Because I remember growing up, I didn't grow up in a very religious household. But they did instill a lot of self confidence and self respect. And that was the thing that made me survive all those years in public schools with everything that I was exposed to. But because I respected myself, I was able to say no to the things that were immoral. And so we need to make sure that we're instilling that in our kids, that we feel empowered enough to
be able to stand up for what's right. The fourth thing is mindfulness. Mindfulness is like this buzzword and psychology about being in the here and now. Because most people are either regretting the past, or they're anxious about the future, right? mindfulness means you are right here, you're present. So when you're feeling those pangs of hunger and Ramadan, when you're like being careful about your behavior, so you don't nullify it, that is mindfulness. Right? And that's, that's one of the benefits. Now, how do we need mindfulness to attain jhana? You need that mindfulness, because you need to be aware of everything you say, and everything you do to attain jhana, right. I know
some people who will say, you know what, I don't like to think about what I say I like to just blurt it out, that's the kind of person I am, I just like to blurt it out. That's not a way to establish good relationship, that's not a way to earn your way to genda. Because if you blurt it out, nine out of 10 times, you're gonna do something, say something that's really gonna damage your relationships, right? So a lot of times, people who blurt things out, are always constantly doing damage control. So when you're mindful, when you're aware of your words, you know that you're watchful. It's like having that surveillance camera. How do you act when there's surveillance camera? How do you act
when there's a cop on the road, you suddenly right, you slow down, you follow all the rules. So we need to have that sense of God consciousness and mindfulness, to be able to, in order to attain jhana. The fifth psychological benefit is being grateful, being grateful, because after a whole day of fasting, when you are so thirsty in the heat of the Texas heat, right, for those of you who just moved to Dallas, get prepared for a totally different level of thirst. So when you're taking that first sip, after like 1516 hours of fasting, how grateful are you for that right, biting into that date, right. So deprivation leads to appreciation. When you have been deprived from water, you are
going to be so much more grateful. And so you have a heightened sense of appreciation as well, right. And Allah tells us in the in the Koran,
Nakata, tundla, as Eden calm, when I am co founder Tom in the below shadow.
If you're a grateful I will surely increase for you. So if we show gratefulness for all the things that we have a love will increase it. A lot of times we don't even recognize what we have. We wake up in the morning and we reflect on what I don't have, I don't have a job, I have a wife, I have money. I don't have this, I don't have that. And then by the you know, by the time it's 9am, you are so grumpy. Because you've listed the 200 things you don't have, right? What I do with my clients who are feeling a bit depressed, I start telling them, why don't you think about all the things you do have, right? If you wake up in the morning, you say, you know what, and hamdulillah Al Hamdulillah.
First of all, I'm breathing, right, I'm alive, I have one more day to earn that genda. I remember asking a client I said, What are you grateful for? And she just looked at me. Like she had nothing to say I said, just the fact that you're not in a coma.
Just the fact that you are alive and you're healthy, then that's something to be grateful for. And when you start thinking about the things you're grateful for, before you know it, you feel like the happiest person. So try this, try it and try to be grateful, because what is that going How is being grateful going to lead us to agenda, the way it's going to lead us agenda is that when you are a grateful servant of a law, you are agenda worthy, right? You are suddenly at that state of showing worthiness to being in Jamaica, and it's it makes you an optimistic person because there are too many people going around outwardly very religious and appearance, but how is there
facial expression, many look miserable, right? Many are walking around, they'll say the words hum the law, but you don't sense it, you don't feel it the facial expression, the law, what kind of handler is that? Right? We need to be that we have to have our facial expression, we need to have our posture we need to have our energy, showing that optimism, right? And as a believer, we have no choice but to be optimistic, because if we are pessimistic, we are not believing in the names and attributes of Allah. Right? We do not believe that is Al Hakim, if we are wondering, Why in the world, am I in this relationship? Why in the world? Is my business failing? Why in the world are my
kids driving me nuts? Right? If we're constantly thinking that that means we're not putting our trust in a lot. So we talked about being grateful. And the six characteristics are the six benefit is being patient, being patient. Because when you are able to control your physiological needs, that gives you patience, right? Being able to control your desires, from all the things that were prohibited from during the fast, then that really empowers you and makes you a more patient person. And it controls your behavior as well. Right? And how do we need this? Why is it so important to be patient in order to attain genda? The reason we need it is that we're going to be we're going to be
tested, right? Allah says, one another one, men out healthy when Judy went up some minute on one he went for see what some out or what best [???]test sabeti, that you will be tested with some hunger, with tests with hunger, loss, and glance hiding to the believers, to the patient ones. So we're going to be tested and we're going to really need the patience when we're tested. When do we need patience again, we need patience to avoid sin, you're going to be tempted with so many things, so many things will be presented to you. And to be able to resist is going to take patience, and also in your ibadah in the worship that you do just the fasting alone. That is that requires a lot of
patience. So that's the sixth one. So quick review. The benefit. First one is discipline, right. Second is emotional control, emotional management. Third is empowerment. Okay? Fourth is being mindful mindfulness. Fifth is being grateful. Six is being patient. Okay. Number seven, is prioritizing, prioritizing. Because when you are fasting, suddenly all your focus becomes about being a better person. You're thinking about your prayer reading we're on. It's like, it's those of you who have gone to Oman, and you find that your whole focus How many of you have been to Oman, Umrah or Hajj? Okay, so what happens when you're there? It's like the only thing you think about is
the next prayer. So your whole priority shifts, right. At that time, you think, how can I squeeze in something between the prayers? What do we do here? We try to squeeze in the prayers between the things we're doing. So it's kind of a shift in priorities. So when we have Ramadan, and it suddenly becomes the most important thing in our mind, that really affects everything that we do, right? And how does that help us in attaining genda? Well, when a lot is your priority, when you base every decision on whether this is going to make you happy or not, whether this is going to get me closer to general or not, then we are definitely going to make the right decision. So we need to have that
if the priority is not right, then all your actions, all your decisions are going to change are not going to be good. Number eight is clarity of mind. When you're fasting, you have this clarity of mind. One of the benefits is that you have a better focus there actually writers and artists who choose to fast in order to get into this state of mind, where they're just in the flow, doing what they're doing and not having any kind of distraction. So imagine that say you're studying. I know my son, my 16 year old just took his fit yesterday, as he was preparing for it all he could think about was you know that that exam, right? So if you're preparing for MCAT, or LSAT or whatever it is what
is on your mind. That's all you can think about. Right? So if we have that kind of clarity about attaining junda about pleasing Allah, if we have that kind of focus, then that is going to help us in everything that we do.
Number nine is increase in empathy, increasing empathy, when we are fasting, we feel the hunger pangs, we can relate to what people are going through. I remember when I had broken my toe A few years ago, and the only people who were sympathetic were other people who had broken their toes, right? Because when I would say my little toe is broken, people would be like, okay, big deal. But those who had a broken toe before, they had so much sympathy, they're like, Oh, my God, that must have been so painful. So when we experienced something, when we feel the pain, when we have the hunger pangs, that's the only time we can really relate to what people go through around the world
on a daily basis. I remember one,
one individual called into a, to a program, and asked the shift, I'm not sure where he was from, but he was an award and war torn country. And he said, Chef, does our fasting is my fasting accepted, if I don't eat suhu, and I don't have anything to break my fast with. And the shift just started crying, that supanova so many people, I mean, we sit there and we worry about our thoughts. They're individuals who don't even have the food to break their fast, right? So when we go through this, it's a training for ourself to be more empathetic. And how does that help us in in attaining jhana. It helps us because we cannot apply the head deed that says, Love for your brother, what you would
love for yourself, unless we have empathy. I have some individuals I work with that they tell me they confess they're like, you know what, I have no empathy in my heart. I really don't care. And I don't know how to help other people. Well, if if a person is that that state, how are they going to
do humanitarian acts, how are they going to give to another person if that feeling of empathy isn't there, so we have to nurture it, even if it's not there. Because sometimes, depending on the way people are raised, they may not have seen a lot of love, they may not have been given that kind of empathy. So it's not natural, but you can nurture it. I've worked with individuals who didn't have that empathy, but little by little, they train themselves, they get themselves to do things where they're helping others, and they get that satisfaction and the end, it becomes really addictive. So being able to have that empathy really will lead you to genda because that's that's going to be the
fuel to get you to do charitable acts like Mashallah, like Islamic Relief? How if they didn't have that sense of empathy, how would they go and help people who are you know, they're suffering in these different kinds of situations, right, natural disasters. And the 10th thing is basically that it's a boot camp for spiritual enlightenment. If you really get spiritual, you get that Eamonn rush, right, it's a training for the rest of the year. So it should really set the tone. And what I've seen is that and the whole point of this conference is to prepare us for Ramadan, right? It's all too and Mashallah does like a lot here for thinking about instilling that motivation in us because
really, it is, it's like a marathon and we have to prepare for it. If we prepare now, it's going to be so much easier for us. And I know I've been motivated so inshallah like this coming month, we can try to take those baby steps to do things so we're better prepared, because how you how you do your Ramadan, how nice it is, or how fulfilling it is, has a lot to do with how you lived your whole year. Right? You can't be completely heat lives and disconnected with the or on or with your prayer. And then expect to have this magical Ramadan right. If you are preparing all year long and you are keeping that connection, and you are helping and charitable and doing all these things. By the time
Ramadan comes, you have you have created that soil and you have planted the seed and then it's just going to blossom. Right? So and it has it's very analogous to how you live your life is going to determine how you die. So you can't live a heedless life and then expect to die on the deen and have a good ending, right? So it just makes sense. If we want to have an amazing Ramadan, we need to start from now and prepare for it because it is a marathon and we need to kind of get into shape for it. And the way the reason that we need this for tonna is that when you're spiritually driven and enlightened, this is the fuel This is the fuel that will get you to do
Everything to avoid the head on in order to be motivated to do more to,
to just do your utmost and attaining Jannah and Allah says,
One leadin Am I know I'm a little sloppy, Tiana it counts hub,
home theater Hall they do, but they who believe and do righteous deeds, those are the companions of Paradise they will abide there in eternally. So and it's always I know why I'm in la sala had the belief has to be followed with action. So in sha Allah, that were motivated to take steps in preparation to Ramadan. And just like the last speaker said, it's not just about doing the acts but we want to make sure that your acts are except the last yesterday I attended a tough state of sorts munafo Boone with
Stas normani Han and it was very heavy, it weighed me down because it's like, just, you know, you could do the good deeds, you can crank them out, you can crank out whether it's giving lectures or giving to the poor or reading or on but then you really have to check your heart and you really have to make sure that are these deeds being accepted. And we always have to check ourselves and make sure that we do our utmost and just like a law fair for the time of Solomon