Channel: Habib Bobat
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Previously, we spoke about foreplay, and we mentioned that four plays an integral part of conjugal relations. It helps the husband as well as the wife to prepare physically and mentally for the actual relation. And we also spoke about the differences between men and women. And we said that men are aroused much quicker as compared to women. And therefore the husband should be considerate in allowing his partner to get ready for the moment, he shouldn't be self centered and selfish in this regard. Today, we are continuing with the same discussion and we are going to look at some of the guidelines the Sharia has given in terms of foreplay. Now, when it comes to foreplay, we know that
foreplay can take many forms. Therefore, it is best left to the couple to discover what stimulates them.
As we know, each couple is different. And like they say, different strokes with different people, what might work for a certain couple may not necessarily work for another couple. Therefore, it is best to leave it at the couple for them to discover what stimulates them and what gets them going.
We are going to look at some of the general principles and some of the general guidelines that the Sharia has given in terms of foreplay, and this is a very, very important discussion. And I'm not going to be shy about it. Because these are the queries we deal with on a regular basis. If I'm going to shy away from this discussion, then it's futile having this discussion altogether. It's not us discussing everything else besides the actual things that people require. So if you are uncomfortable, I would suggest that perhaps you switch the dial or you do something else for that matter.
So coming to the aspect of foreplay, the very first thing that we need to discuss is kissing.
Kissing one one's spouse is an essential part of foreplay.
And it is also the student of Rasulullah sallallahu sallam. There is a narration recorded in Buddhahood Carioca, below her who was saw in one way emotionally send her
the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam would kiss her while she was fasting and he would suck on her tongue.
He would what he would suck on her tongue. So this is a clear cut narration
showing the fact that the Prophet of Allah sallallahu alayhi Salaam engage in passionate kissing with his partner. So kissing is part of foreplay, and it is also the student of Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi Salaam.
Kissin is not restricted to the lips in the mouth, it is permissible to kiss other parts of the body, such as the cheeks, the forehead, the tip of the nose, behind the ear, the neck, etc, etc, etc.
and kissing or caressing one's wife's breasts is not only permitted,
but it is one of the most effective ways of arousing her. And the reason why I'm mentioning this because we get queries very often. Can we do this? Or can we not do that many people shy away from it because they think it's haram and many people are involved in it, but they think they think that maybe they are doing something wrong. So here we are clarifying those doubts. And we are saying that it is permissible to kiss other parts of the body stain or the question of kissing, we often get the the issue of Love Bites.
Now, as far as Love Bites are concerned, we have to understand that Islam maintains one principle. And that is, Islam does not encourage the public display of affection and love but essentially tells the person opposite you or anyone that's sitting with you that something happened. And that is basically given an indication of something intimate, and Islam does not encouraged it. Anything that is displayed public affection is abhorred in the Sharia, and therefore Love Bites can be given, however, not on areas which will be exposed to people when they are going out in the public. So do keep that in mind. It's an important factor also. Then the question arises of eating or licking food
of the spouse's body. You know, people often ask this question, is it permitted or not? Well, there is no doubt that this practice is contrary to Islamic teachings. We don't even have to go into it. It does not behold a Muslim to engage in such practices. Food is something which is honorable suddenly which Allah subhanaw taala has given us for our nourishment. Moving on further, you know, there's a question that people ask very often that is it permissible to play with each other's private paths, the husband playing with the wives and the wife playing with the husband, is it permitted art? So in this regard, we look at fatawa India, and indeed it is stated that Imam Abu
Yusuf Rahim Allah tala great scholar, he asked his start, Imam Abbas
hanifa Rahim Allah tala, one of the illustrious imams that we follow. He asked him that, oh Imam will hanifa if a man touches his wife's private part, and she does the same for her husband, and they do this in order to get aroused, do you see anything wrong in that?
He replied, No, rather I am confident that one will be rewarded for doing so. And this is in fatawa, India, volume five, page 328. So, we find clear cut,
clear cut incidence in this regard, and the scholars of the past have already dealt with this issue. So, it is permissible for the husband to play with his wife's private part and likewise the other way around. Moreover, it is also permissible for the husband to use his fingers to make his partner reach climax, and it would also be permissible the other way around for her to do it.
However, listen to this however, it is haram. It is impermissible for any of them to indulge in self pleasure. That means the husband cannot pleasure himself. And likewise the wife cannot pleasure herself that is clearly prohibited. Yes, the husband may do it for the wife and the wife may do it for the husband, they cannot do it for themselves. That's an important area to clarify.
Moving on further, there is a question of oral sex. Is it permitted? Is it permissible for the husband and the wife to take each other's private parts in their mouth?
Now listen to this very carefully, because it's a very common question that comes to us. As far as taking in in the fluid is concerned, it is sinful and not permitted. It is unanimously agreed upon that.
the stage before that,
the stage prior to the fluid coming out, and the stage prior to anything emanating in that stage, there are two different views of the AMA, and I'd like to share both of them to you and you may take your cue from there. The one group mentions that it is permitted, provided no fluid goes into the mouth.
That's the first group. The second group mentions that it is haram it is not permissible. It is not permitted based on the fact that the tongue is used for Quran recital, it is used for the remembrance of Allah, it is used for other forms of rabada and therefore, the Tang cannot engage in such acts thereafter. So these are the two different views. And based on your taqwa you can take the ruling. Let's move on further now. Can the husband and the wife see each other without clothing? So in this regard, we've got the hadith of Mazel Tov and indeed it is mentioned at daraz Magnum as our own Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam if upon your Rasul Allah in Nila astatke and Dada earlier
what it called a walima Waka gyla Kola, who to whom liberta rajala, whom luckily Bursa years is a hobby, by the name of earthrealm as their own and he comes to the Prophet of Allah. And he says, Oh prophet of Allah, I'm a shy person. I don't want my wife to see me without clothes. So the Prophet of Allah replied walima and why not? Why are you preventing them from doing that? Work ajar local law, firm labasa which are the home the cannabis, because Allah have made you a garment for them, and Allah have made them a garment for you, you are a garment for each other, you can see each other You may derive comfort from one another. And I think this muscle is important in today's day and
age, especially where pornography is so rife. So, keep that in mind. The last part of this discussion is to do with contemporary form of for please,
please pay attention to this also.
Many people are indulging in new practices, for example, using sex toys, using sex aids to stimulate them. So to use a sex aid such as a vibrator to stimulate one's partner is permitted, provided on three conditions. And please keep these three conditions in mind. Number one, it does not cause harm to anyone, yourself or herself. Number two, it is not used by oneself. That means the wife cannot use it on her own. The husband has to use it for her. She cannot pleasure ourselves the rule of thumb as we discussed earlier, that the wife cannot pleasure herself at any time. And thirdly, it can only
only be used on the outer private part. It cannot be used for the actual penetration of the actual inner part of the private part. The Sharia is not permitted that is because it makes your partner lazy. It's against the natural grain of human nature, and its impacts on the husband's confidence. Lastly, I'd like to discuss bondage and flogging, which is also one of the contemporary forms of foreplay, and many people are engaging in. So bondage is a sexual practice in which pleasure is gained by means of one partner being physically restrained or tied up. It can be a way of defining active and passive sexual roles. Now these restraints come in different forms, for example,
handcuffs, ropes, shackles, belts, chains, blindfolds, and collars, etc, etc. So there is not encouraged and flogging. We spoke about bondage. flogging is the act of whooping spanking, and generally inflicting pain on one's partner for sexual arousal.
This culture has crept into our community from what we are reading outside, and you know what I'm referring to. So, when it comes to bondage, and flogging, you must understand it is an Islamic and it is not encouraging our Sharia in our sooner. Islam encourages us that we respect each other, we respect the being of each other. We respect the bodies of each other. inflicting pain in such a way is not encouraged and it's not permitted. Now, what give us the understand