Fatima Barkatulla – Youth Talk – How Islam Honours Women – Manchester ISoc

Fatima Barkatulla
AI: Summary © The speakers emphasize the negative impact of men's roles on women and the importance of women privacy and sexuality. They also emphasize the need for women to be committed to motherhood and not be taxpayers, as well as the drive for women's sexuality and the need for women to handle their roles and responsibilities. They also stress the importance of acknowledging women's desire for privacy and privacy-related privacy campaigns and the need for women to be empowered and heard. They urge individuals to use their expertise and influence to positively impact the world and highlight upcoming events and campaigns on the topic.
AI: Transcript ©
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Okay cool. So I slowly come everyone I hope you're well inshallah, welcome to today's event, titled how Islam honors women will be coming the misconceptions about the status of a woman in Islam and what Islam says about feminism and other relevant topics. We have the absolute honor of having Shekhar Fatima barkatullah as our speaker tonight, she's an alima author award winning international lecturer on Islamic law and thought she's also presenter of the air of the a&p podcast. And she's currently working on two books, women in the Quran and Aisha scholar of Islam after authored after her authoring her groundbreaking best book, Khadija, mother of history's greatest nation. So without

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further ado, I'll hand it over to Sarah herself, and for which I'm sure will be really beneficial and enlightening talk to take away a starter does Erica McCarran smilla hamdulillah salat wa salam ala rasulillah

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dear, I think there might be brothers brothers and sisters Salaam wa Alaykum what I had to lay over to get to, to all of you really pleased to have this opportunity to address you.

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Manchester ISOC.

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So let's get straight into it. Because I think in sessions like this, you usually get the most out of it through the q&a, you know, more than anything else. So

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I'm going to present some thoughts with you, and then inshallah, at the end, you're going to have the opportunity to ask any questions you want. And, you know, Don't feel shy to ask anything. Um, I quite recently did a marriage q&a and other q&a is with teenagers. And sometimes people want to ask very sensitive questions. And that's perfectly fine. Because,

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you know, even Rasulullah sallallahu wasallam when people

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he encouraged people not to have HIA, or sense of shyness or shame, when it comes to learning matters of the religion. So I want you to feel really comfortable.

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And yeah, somebody just written in the chat that questions can also be asked anonymously. So that's great. Okay,

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I'm going to share my presentation with you. It's a it's a basic presentation, but I think it might help help us, you know, like him,

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rather than you having to look at me, though, for the whole time. So, let me do share screen.

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Okay, can you see that flame? Yeah. Okay. So,

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I was asked to speak on the topic of how Islam honors women. To be honest, it's such a huge topic, like, you know, especially somebody who feels very passionately about that topic. As somebody who feels passionate about it. It's hard to know even where to start. There's so much to say. But inshallah, I'm going to share just some of my thoughts on the topic with you.

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So right from the beginning, I'm going to start by saying, you know,

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when we look at womanhood today, when we look at womanhood today,

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there's really a lot left wanting.

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In her book, the equality illusion, which is a really good book, I recommend that you all have a read of, it's a little bit depressing, I must say. But it's kind of very real. It gives you the real picture of what's going on globally. When it comes to women. Cat Banyard, who is a feminist, she and she's part of various organizations, she says in the book, today, women and girls bodies are denigrated, as inanimate objects to be publicly scrutinized, judged, maintained and manipulated for the benefit of others. They are shared public property, a female body is deemed an object that could and should be made beautiful, at almost any cost for the benefit of those looking at it. And that

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really is a damning indictment from somebody who is a Westerner who, you know, espouses feminist values about the state of womanhood today. And so panel, I think, you know, if you were to reflect on society if you were to even just reflect on what you see on social media and the music industry

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Various quarters, right? This would ring true. This will run through.

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These are just some statistics.

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The reason why I'm why I want to highlight some of these statistics to you is

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I'm not trying to depress you. I'm just trying to highlight that sometimes people present the situation of womanhood and what it is to be a woman today as being one of you know, progress and how you know, women have never had it so good, especially from Western perspective, right? But these statistics are statistics from the west. And the reason why I'm not going to talk about the east is because I'm not in the east. I'm not an Easterner. Well, I am from east of Eastern origin. Of course, from India, originally, my parents are from India. But I'm a Westerner, right? You are Westerners, we were born and brought up in the West. And so it's really important to ask the kind of

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society that we're living in we we care about the society around us, right? So just look at just some of these statistics. So panelo

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in the UK,

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to 200,000 babies are aborted.

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And that's, that's 500 a day.

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And over one and a half, 1000 of those a year are over 22 weeks. So that means, you know, a 22 week old baby 22 week

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into pregnancy, a baby is fully formed 100% fully formed. In fact, if it was born at 24 weeks, it will probably survive. At 22 weeks it could survive with an incubator, maybe right?

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So it's a fully formed baby and this has become normal now. In the US, there are even more abortions as you can see on the stats.

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There are 80,000 prostitutes in the UK, it's estimated

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one in 10 men in the world have visited a prostitute.

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2.5 million victims of * trafficking are being trafficked at any one time.

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And it's the fastest growing criminal industry in the world. And of course, the majority of those people being trafficked are women.

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prostitution is legal in 22 countries. Wow. It's actually legal.

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According to feminist charity * crisis, 85,000 women are raped on average in England and Wales every year.

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According to natcen 300,000 fathers don't pay to support their children

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and 1 million children this this statistic really upset me Actually, 1 million children in Britain have no man at all in their lives. No man at all in their lives. According to the gingerbread society, the number of single parent families is more than trebled. Since the second wave, what I meant by second wave here is the second wave of feminism, which is since the 60s and 70s. We'll talk a little bit about that in a moment.

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And 92% of those single parents are mothers, right? Because most of the time, it's the mothers who end up

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taking the burden of or the responsibility of looking after the children.

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Over 400,000 women are sexually assaulted each year.

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One in five women aged 16 to 59, has experienced some form of sexual violence since the age of 16.

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And every second and I think this must be a global

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statistic, but I'm not I'm not sure. I don't remember exactly if it was global, or if it was Britain. Every second 28,000 people are viewing *.

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These are just this is just a snapshot of some statistics that I wanted to share with you.

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Because when I read these statistics from all different places from books, as well as, you know, websites of organizations that are dealing with some of these issues.

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I said to myself, so Pamela, you know, what has happened to womanhood? Because all of these statistics disproportionately affect women.

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And so what can we really say that the state

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To serve women, and the status of womanhood in society is an honored status.

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I don't think so.

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I had this image on the right, because

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another very shocking statistic, which I ended up not including is the number of women who I think it was 66% of women

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over the age of 16, said that they would consider having some kind of surgery to change different aspects of their bodies. Right? I mean, forget about society, demeaning women, women are demeaning women, you know, women demean we demean ourselves

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when we try to, we can't even accept the way our bodies are.

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So yeah, it is a sad state of affairs.

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Jemaine Greer is a very well known feminist. She was like, she's like the godmother of feminism, right? Especially during the 70s 60s and 70s. In a documentary, she said, and she has like, been so active, and she's been such an activist.

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And yet, this is recent, she said, liberation hasn't happened. Even sexual liberation didn't happen. She says, what happened was that commercial * was liberated fantasy was liberated, but people weren't liberated. And she even went so far as to say things have gotten a lot worse for women, since she wrote her book, The female unit.

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Now, I don't agree with Jemaine Greer's philosophy for women, right? But when a feminist have her kind of level, right, like her status within the feminist movement,

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says this, right, the liberation hasn't happened. The Things have gotten worse for women.

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Right. In fact, women have become objectified. And, you know, they're used as objects

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more than ever, then it's really a damning indictment on

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on the way things have been going in society, right. And even on the feminist movement itself.

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Now, I don't have time in our session to really go through the different kind of historical phases of feminism, okay. But I think most of us will know that, you know, initially, especially in the West.

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You know, in the early 20th century, especially, women wanted the right to vote. Before that women were not allowed to even own property Subhanallah, they weren't allowed to own property in their own names.

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Women were not allowed to go to university, until very recently, relatively recently in in western countries. And then when they were allowed, they weren't allowed to have to, you know, have degrees, they could come and just watch the lectures, listen to the lectures.

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I mean, there were all sorts of things going on, right? When a woman got married,

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all of her property went into the name of her husband, right. And this is where we get the whole concept of misses something from right, like so when somebody when a woman gets married, she changes her name to the name of her husband's in the West, right? in European countries, Euro American countries, and why? because historically, the idea was, she's his now or she's a property even legally ended up belonging to him, right?

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Of course, these this is something that we didn't have as Muslims. But

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it's, it's interesting for us to know that because it shows us the context in which some of the very legitimate, you know,

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concerns of women were raised. And so there have been different waves of feminism, or they call different waves. The feminism or the women's rights movement of

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the suffragettes, for example, was not the same as the second wave of feminism, which came in the 60s and 70s. And it was really in the second wave, I think that things really fundamentally started going downhill, okay. Because

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there was some fundamental flaws in the second wave onwards, feminist ideology, right. And the premise

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seas from which that ideology,

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you know, put forward, it's, it's fought, and it's activism. So just some, this is by no means exhaustive. I'm just giving you like a little taster here, right? So just some of the kinds of ideas that feminists have been writing about. And feminist ideology has been promulgating and propagating.

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One of the fundamental ones, which you notice when you read feminist literature is this, it's, it's this idea that men can just not be just towards women, men, as a collective cannot be just towards women. So the idea that, you know, we need female representation in every place in every stage and everything, in order for women to achieve any kind of justice, right? comes from that.

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And obviously, that's, that's, that's false. That's false. Both men and women can be unjust. And both men and women can be just,

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there was also this underlying idea that men have always oppressed women.

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And that this is a terrible way to look at history, if you really think about it. And if you were to really analyze the way men and women have been having to collaborate throughout history, and I think this statement, this idea that men have always oppressed women,

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and is not only unfair and unjust, but it kind of demeans women. Right?

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If you just look at any society, women have always been prized as the, you know, seen as in, in many ways more valuable than men. Right? Men have always had the instinct to protect women. In fact, every country has an army, right? And every army is made up mainly of men. And their job is to give their lives up, if need be to protect the women and children and the other men of that country, right. I mean, I think there's nothing that illustrates it more blatantly than that, right.

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Also, throughout history, you know, there's this idea of women and children first,

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protecting women, taking care of them, taking care of their needs. If anything, men and women had to work very hard to divide their roles and divide their, their labor in order for human beings to survive, right. Throughout the majority of history, life was really tough. And so I think this is a just an unfair kind of premise.

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Sorry, just a minute.

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Another idea that you kind of pick up when you read a lot of feminist literature is the idea that

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implies that the role that women have played in building civilizations, right, any civilization, whether it's the Islamic civilization, or Western civilization,

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and the role of women is belittled in feminist discourse. Because is this idea that men have have built everything, men have done everything, men have built everything, and men have always oppressed women and push them down and not allowed them to participate? Right, which is completely wrong.

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In fact, it belittles the important role that women have always played.

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And it's not a insignificant role in supporting men, and not only in supporting men, but, you know, in raising men in being part of every area of life. If it wasn't for women, men couldn't do their role. And if it wasn't for men, women couldn't do their role. Right. So I think this idea that women have had no role in building civilizations is completely false. And this is one of the ideas that you kind of pick up when you read feminist literature.

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Also, the premise that patriarchal systems are necessarily oppressive. Okay, now

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I'm not going to label MIT, some feminists would label Islam as the patriarchy, right, as a patriarchal system, a system where men are in charge or men

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kind of have a senior role a leadership role, and it passes on in the male line. I wouldn't accept that, because I think the Islamic system is a lot more nuanced than that.

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But the fact is that, you know, Allah subhanaw, taala chose the prophets to be men, for example, he made men and women different. So

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the idea that men throughout history, have had the role of being protectors have had the role of being

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of being leaders of nations, for example,

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the father has always had a protective role over his family, sons have always been seen, as, you know, again,

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people who would protect and look after the family. This was just like a necessity of life, if anything, right. And the idea that these that that system is necessarily oppressive, is also a false premise it again, it kind of implicates men, and it kind of considers men as incapable of being just, of course, there has been oppression, right? We're not saying that there is no oppression. But just because a man is in charge of something, or just because Allah chose, for example, men to be prophets, or who just because you know, your father is the head of your house, that doesn't make it oppressive, right?

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Also, feminist discourse tends to make men the reference point for women. So if a woman wants to know whether she's successful or not, she has to match herself up to men, she has to compare herself to men, she has to ask, how much is he getting? And what is he doing? And can I do what he does? But it never asks, Can men do what women do? Right? It never asked that question. So, in effect, ends up valorizing and raising the status of men, because men become the reference point men are the ones that you're aspiring to be like, all the time, right? And again, I would,

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I would claim that that's a false premise. We don't, we don't need to make men a reference point for women in doing so you make them superior, right, by default.

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is only a social construct. This is an idea that has really been propagated by feminists in the last few decades, that gender maleness, and femaleness.

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If that's the word femininity and masculinity are only social constructs, right? They're not. In other words, they're only things that you're conditioned into, by society, not biology has nothing to contribute to that. And that's a false premise, utterly false premise. And it's caused some of the gender confusion that we're seeing in our times, right. And it's caused the blurring of the lines between the sexes, instead of

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you know, being a man and being a woman being celebrated. Because there's this idea that there's no such thing as a man or a woman really, it's like, it's all kind of fluid. And it's all kind of interchangeable.

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And it's only a social construct. So only performative. Something that you're just performing, apparently, is not something intrinsic to you. Being a woman is not something intrinsic to you.

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It has caused a lot of the confusion in society, I think, in our times to the point that,

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you know, women's spaces are now being taken over, right. And the idea of how having women's spaces is kind of being destroyed.

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Another feature of feminist discourse that you notice is

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that economic worth tends to be the only thing that human value is measured by, and that's why and what I mean by that is, there's constant comparison as to how much women are earning and compared compared to men, or what jobs women are able to have.

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At some men, what things women are doing compared to men, and the only real measure is economic. So things that can't be measured economically, for example, the contribution of motherhood, right, the contribution of being a mother raising human beings, quality human beings, because it can't be quantified, and it can't be measured.

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It's kind of seen as insignificant. Right? This is a problem throughout society, you know, and it's probably a capitalist thing, right? Something that has come as a result of capitalism. And I would argue that feminism today is very much a product of

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liberalism and capitalism, it's very effective by them, or if not kind of an intrinsic

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subset of those movements, right.

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And so by looking at society only in terms of the economic worth of women come as compared to men, it devalues any other way of any other thing that is of value, right?

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That isn't economic. But women do.

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Also the whole idea of my body my choice, you know, meaning, which basically means that I should be able to have an abortion whenever I want, right. And it doesn't matter how big the baby is, it doesn't matter about the rights of this new human being.

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It's my body, my choice. So, you know, these are all kind of some of the ideas that if you read a lot of feminist literature, you'll notice these are the underlying premises. And I would argue that they're all false. They're all false. Of course, there are other premises as well. But we're not going to go into all of those.

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Just from a very simple perspective, right? The idea that men and women are not different, not really different.

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as Muslims, we know that men and women, we're both human beings, right? It's not. We're not like completely different species or anything. But to completely diminish the significant differences between men and women, is to be unjust to men and women.

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And nowadays is actually quite a lot of literature, being written by scientists, as well as psychologists about the differences between men and women's brains. And the way men and women think the way men and women, women's bodies, react to different things, etc. Right. So this is a book I'd also recommend, it's called the female brain,

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by Dr. Lu and resin, Dean. And she says, These are just a few quotes. But I really recommend you read these books, because they're very well written and research and you'll learn a lot about yourself as a woman, right? reading these books.

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And the and actually how amazing Allah has made our bodies, right. As women, especially especially when we become a mother, you know, the different changes that take place in the brain of a mother, and how your brain is never the same again, when you become a mother. It's this such amazing

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details in this book, but just two quotes. She says that the female brain is not just a smaller version of the male brain. They are wired differently.

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And she also says scientists have documented an astonishing array of structural chemical, genetic, hormonal and functional brain differences between women and men.

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Differences don't mean, inferiority or superiority just means different, right?

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In his book, why gender matters, Dr. Leonard Sachs, he actually calls the mid 60s to the mid 1990s, the Dark Ages, because he says it was politically incorrect to suggest that there were innate differences in how girls and boys learn and play. And he said that was a big mistake, because schools were forcing boys to learn in the same way that girls learn. And they were forcing girls to learn in the same way as boys. And what that was doing is it was a mismatch. Right boys were developing in a different way. In the early school years, boys needed more physical activity, and they needed to not be restricted and told to sit down

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You know, sit quiet. But because girls were more able to do that, boys were being forced to do that as well. And it was harmful to them. So he says today, we know that the innate differences between girls and boys are profound. Boys and girls do differ from one another in systematic ways that should be understood and made use of not covered up or ignored.

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He says boys and girls play, learn, see the world even hear differently, which is really quite extraordinary. And again, it's politically incorrect, right? But this is what the science says.

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I've just given you a little taste of some of the reasons why

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I think modern day feminist ideology has got it wrong. And I just want to highlight that feminism is just one ideological response to the problem of women's rights, right? So for example, if you think about economics, a person can say, Okay, how do we deal with the problem of the economy?

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You know, distribution of resources, etc.

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And you could say, well, capitalism is one response to the problem of the economy. Or you could say communism is one response to the problem of the economy. There are different responses and different ideologies, right.

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And so, but similarly, you know, when it comes to economics, Islam has its own economic system. Right? It has a kind of a, it has, it has a response to the problem of the economy and Islamic response. And similarly, feminism is just one approach to dealing with the issues of women's rights. Okay. And Islam has its own approach.

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And we would say that Islam, being divinely guided, is a more holistic approach to womanhood and women's rights. Because it takes into account not just the rights of the individual.

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You know, some people have called feminism gendered in gender individualism. It's individualism, but for women, right? Because it's about the interests of women, the rights of women, the happiness of women, it's cetera, right? When it comes to Islam, the approach is more holistic. It's not just about the individual. It's about the family, it's about the community. Of course, the individual is important as well. But the individual never become so important that the rights and the effect of the individual on society is ignored, right.

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And justice is something that should be sought for all.

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So in summary, I would say feminism is one response out of many possible responses to the question of women's rights, just as capitalism or communism are responses to the question of the economy.

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From an Islamic perspective,

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Islam is submission to the Creator. It's not submission to other human beings. And if you look at modern day feminism, what it ends up being is a type of submission to other women,

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is submission to the ideas of other women. So some women have gotten together, they've made up these, they've thought up these solutions, right? And they want

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human beings to submit to those solutions. Right?

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Or what we would say is, I would rather submit to the Creator, right, the one who created me, the one who knows me inside out those men and women, and those society knows what's good for us, and created us with a purpose. I'd rather submit to God I'd rather submit to the creator and his guidance, rather than the guidance of human beings who are just trying to figure things out through trial and error.

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In Islam, Allah is our reference point.

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He is the one who we refer to when

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We want to know whether we're doing right or wrong. We don't want to know what our status is. Men are not our reference point. And that's a fundamental shift in focus, if you really think about it, right? That's a fundament that fundamentally changes the way you look at the world. Because you're not trying to get validation from comparing yourself to what the men are doing. You're focusing on what your Creator thinks about you, what you will create, as said you should do, right?

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The Quran,

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the Quran, is the speech of Allah, it's not the speech of man. And it was the guidance that was sent down to us, right as human beings who found ourselves on this earth without, you know, wanting to know what our purpose is a lot, of course, never just left us here. He sent us guidance. And he sent that guidance to both men and women and even the jinn, right?

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women had and have always had equal access to that revelation right from the beginning. And this is unlike what the situation was with the Bible, for example, which was really only in the hands of certain elites. Until very, very, until it was translated, right.

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And then even then, you know, it was not considered to be something that women should really have access to. Women have a right to be reading and interpreting, right? Whereas we see in our tradition that hafsa are the line her mother of the believers, she was the safe keeper of the Quran. Right? When aboubaker have

00:36:58 --> 00:37:03

when abubaker said the first halifa compiled the Quran into one must have.

00:37:04 --> 00:37:10

She was the one who was charged with it safe keeping. Women were memorizing the Quran right from the beginning.

00:37:12 --> 00:37:40

Alisha for the land her, the wife of the Prophet, the other another wife of the Prophet hafsa is also one of the wives of the Prophet. I shut as well. I shirt was a Mufasa somebody who used to explain and interpret the Quran. The Sahaba used to say if we wanted to know anything about anything in the Quran, what it means. We knew that if we went to Arusha, she'd have some knowledge of it, right?

00:37:41 --> 00:38:09

And the Quran was even revealed in front of Ayesha. Often the prophets, Allah Salam would be in his house, he would be lying down and the revelation would come. So women have had access to that revelation that Allah subhanaw taala sent for both men and women right from the beginning, which was not the case in other religious traditions.

00:38:19 --> 00:38:20

Last Subhana Allah

00:38:21 --> 00:39:20

Allah tells us in the Quran, that the deeds of men and women are valued equally. Allah says first the jab Allah hombre boom and Nila will do I'ma Amelie min Coleman vackert in a wanza by Luca min bout for levina hedgerow resume in the re him woofie severely what portaloo what Portillo loca furon, Nan home say to him, while Odin Ilana home Jeanette, integer demon that he has now. So why are the men in the law will law who are in the whole host of the throw up? Allah says, and the Lord responded to them, Never will I allow to be lost the work of any worker among you, whether male or female, you all have one another. So those who emigrate or are evicted from their homes or were

00:39:20 --> 00:39:38

harmed in my cause, or fought over killed, I will surely remove from them their misdeeds, and I will surely admit them to gardens beneath which rivers flow as reward from Allah and Allah has with him the best reward.

00:39:39 --> 00:39:43

So in this and there are many verses like this, a lot of Allah is

00:39:45 --> 00:39:49

constantly reiterating that both men and women,

00:39:50 --> 00:39:57

Allah is watching you, he can see the good work that you do, and he will recompensate you equally.

00:39:59 --> 00:40:00

And so this is

00:40:00 --> 00:40:58

idea that men and women have equal value, their work has equal value is emphasized. Also in terms of spiritual equality, Allah Subhana Allah says in the Quran to emphasize in the Muslim in our Muslim act well meaning in our world won't mean at and you know those of you who know any Arabic you'll know that the way that this form of this wording is male and then female plural males plural and female plural male plural and female in all the categories in all Muslim ina well Muslim add, well meaning me Natty well Connie Tina will Connie 30 was saw the cleaner was saw the karate wasabi Dina wasabi rottie one Kashi Nina well, Hershey iottie while Mutasa de pinna while matassa Ducati was saw

00:40:58 --> 00:41:56

you mean I was saw imati well haffi Vina Fuji home? What have you, Bertie, with Valkyrie and Allah Kathy and on with khyati a de la hula hoop Mo Farah tawaran vema. Allah says, indeed, the Muslim men and the Muslim women, meaning the men who submit and the women who submit the believing men and the believing women, the obedient men and the obedient women, the truthful men and the truth for women, the patient men, and the patient women, the humble men and the humble women, the charitable men and the charitable women, the fasting men and the fasting women, the men who got their chastity and the women who do so the men who remember a lot often and the women who do so, for them, Allah has

00:41:56 --> 00:41:59

prepared forgiveness and a great reward.

00:42:01 --> 00:42:04

So Allah here is emphasizing

00:42:05 --> 00:42:09

whether you're male or female, he sees you he he values you.

00:42:11 --> 00:42:33

And Allah Subhana Allah tells us our Creator tells us to stop comparing ourselves, men to women and women to men. He says in Surah four, I am number 32 while at seminoma fidella love will be Heba kumala about their region acebo min max Tessa bouillon Nisa ii nasugbu Makita seven

00:42:35 --> 00:42:40

watts Allah min for Lee in Allah can I be equally Shay in Lima

00:42:41 --> 00:43:00

and do not wish for that by which Allah has made some of you exceed others, for men is a share of what they have earned, and for women as a share of what they have earned. And ask Allah for his bounty. Indeed, Allah is Ever of all things, knowing.

00:43:06 --> 00:43:24

So this I actually was revealed, because one of the wives of the Prophet sallallahu, wasallam, almost selama when she heard about how much reward there was, for men, who go and fight in the way of Allah, who go and you know,

00:43:25 --> 00:43:29

took part in the wars, who took part in defending,

00:43:30 --> 00:43:32

defending the Muslim community.

00:43:34 --> 00:44:07

She really said, she said to the prophets, Allah said, If only we were men, then we could join the struggle, we could join the Jihad as well and we could receive the reward that they receive. Okay. And so this verse of the Quran was revealed and in it Allah subhanaw taala is saying that, if Allah has given one of you a certain role, and others, other roles or other priorities, don't wish for those priorities from each other. You know, because Allah is gonna reward you equally.

00:44:09 --> 00:44:11

There's another Hadith so kind of light in which

00:44:13 --> 00:44:27

it's a it's a week heavy, but the scholars say that its meaning is correct, right. And you know, the rest of the Sharia kind of supports its meaning. And it is one in which one of this hobby actually came

00:44:28 --> 00:44:33

to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam and she said, you know, we as women, we do so much in the home.

00:44:34 --> 00:44:37

And she gave him a list, you know, of all the things that they do.

00:44:39 --> 00:44:57

And she said, but and the men that go out and fight in the way of Allah and of course that was like one of the priorities at that time right? And you know, they, they pray in the masjid they pray and Gemma, it's obligatory for them to do that, etc, etc. And she said, what we have a share of that reward.

00:44:59 --> 00:45:00

Well, we have a share of

00:45:00 --> 00:45:13

That reward and the Prophet sallallahu wasallam is reported to have said that this is a very good question and he told her to go and tell the other women that all of the work that you do

00:45:15 --> 00:45:26

is equal to that you will get the reward as well. Why? Because men and women we support one another. We're not in competition with one another.

00:45:33 --> 00:45:35

I'm just going to ask you for one moment please

00:46:15 --> 00:46:42

inquire still status, figuring some things out technical, technical, technical, technical difficulties, and we can take some some a moment to reflect on what will be watched you spoken about so far. So if you guys want to put it in the chat, what's your favorite takeaway from today, so far? I can tell you my, the last x statements you made about how you shouldn't want for

00:46:44 --> 00:46:56

you know, the the male priorities and what they've been given. And we will be rewarded equally for whatever priorities were given. And I think that's a nice reminder for us all.

00:46:57 --> 00:47:02

To not want what you know, the agenda has, what's everyone else's takeaways?

00:47:05 --> 00:47:09

Is everything all right now? So yeah, sorry. Sorry about that. No worries.

00:47:10 --> 00:47:12

It could no

00:47:18 --> 00:47:53

yeah, so these are just some I was gonna give you this as like homework really, like some verses of Quran I would love you to look up because, you know, sometimes in our times, we're so disconnected from the Quran, that when people say to us, or present this idea to us that you know, as if Islam is not, doesn't have anything to say to us as women, we can we buy it because we're not connected to the Quran. But I want you to look up all of these verses of Quran maybe take a screenshot.

00:47:55 --> 00:47:59

Because what you will realize as you read these,

00:48:01 --> 00:48:16

when you see that loss of Hannah, Darla, one of the earliest verses revealed, condemned female infanticide, right? That was one of the earliest things to be revealed, or even more older, to suella to be even being quoted at that

00:48:17 --> 00:48:18

when the

00:48:19 --> 00:48:21

newborn baby go,

00:48:22 --> 00:48:47

will be asked on the Day of Judgment for what crime she was killed, right. So Pamela, you know that society was a society that was rife with female infanticide. And by the way, that that practice hasn't gone away in some countries in the world, right? China, India. These are countries where female infanticide is still rife. If you look at the statistics from the UN,

00:48:49 --> 00:48:50

but in Arabia

00:48:52 --> 00:49:03

within a couple of decades, Islam wiped out female infanticide. Right which was, which was a practice in Arabia

00:49:05 --> 00:49:09

through this verse of Quran, literally through this verse of Quran, right.

00:49:11 --> 00:49:20

l mu J Dilla. Just read how Allah Subhana Allah says he heard the complaint of Hola, Vincent alaba in Surah 58.

00:49:21 --> 00:49:47

See how Allah says he cares about the feelings of the mother of Musa in Surah 28. Right. But, you know, he says if Allah Subhana Allah returned her baby to her, because of how much he cared about her feelings. This is the you know, what you get from that is so panela from those ayat,

00:49:48 --> 00:49:59

look at the way Allah Subhana Allah describes the wife of Pharaoh and her struggle and everything she did, and how he rewarded her for her struggle. You know, being married to like

00:50:00 --> 00:50:03

literally being married to the greatest tyrant in history right?

00:50:05 --> 00:50:07

And yet being a believer,

00:50:08 --> 00:50:16

marry the mother of Jesus and a Salam. Look at the way Allah Subhana. Allah talks about her and describes her.

00:50:17 --> 00:50:20

You can see that Allah Subhana Allah loves these women.

00:50:22 --> 00:50:35

Look at the way Allah subhanaw taala exonerated Arusha when she was slandered the wife of the Prophet salla salam, when she was slandered, Allah exonerated her by revealing verses to clear her name.

00:50:36 --> 00:50:38

And to prevent people from

00:50:39 --> 00:50:43

from falsely accusing women. Okay.

00:50:45 --> 00:51:01

Look at the way Allah subhanaw taala talks about mothers in the Quran, and acknowledges the huge effort and honors them and tells men and women, the children to one of their mothers in particular.

00:51:02 --> 00:51:10

Look at the way Allah describes wives, as government's right husbands and wives as Gorman's for one another.

00:51:11 --> 00:51:27

The way that Allah Subhan, Allah describes, as here, the wife of Pharaoh, and Maryam alayhis, salaam, in Surah, 66, when he presents them as role models for both men and women,

00:51:29 --> 00:51:30

these are the things you know,

00:51:31 --> 00:51:40

you got to go and look these up, and you've got to reconnect with Allah Subhana Allah, and the way he talks about women in the Quran.

00:51:44 --> 00:51:54

So just some of the thoughts that I want to end with, on how Islam honors women and what Islam gives us that is unique.

00:51:55 --> 00:52:17

First of all, Islam gives us a direct relationship with our Creator. And that is the greatest thing that you can be given. Right? You know, people talk about white privilege, nowadays is very kind of popular right to talk about white privilege, oh, you know, we are so oppressed, because we are brown and black, right?

00:52:18 --> 00:52:43

And white people, they've got white privilege? Well, I would argue that we, as Muslims have got Muslim privilege. If you were brought up with Islam, you were brought up knowing who your Creator is, and having a connection with your Creator, you have privilege beyond the privilege that many millions of people have.

00:52:44 --> 00:53:03

Why? Because what do you think, is the main cause of depression in this country? What do you think is the main cause of suicide, and the kinds of a lot of the mental health issues that people face, one of the main causes is not having a purpose in life,

00:53:04 --> 00:53:08

not having a connection with your with your Creator, you know,

00:53:09 --> 00:53:17

if you don't have that, then you're having to stop. You're having to look at the world. In a very,

00:53:18 --> 00:53:22

you're very lonely in the world, you're having to kind of figure things out.

00:53:23 --> 00:53:39

And just talk to any converts, you know, and they'll tell you how they felt before they embrace disarm and how lost, how alone. Life is when you don't have a direct relationship with your Creator, and you talk to your Creator directly.

00:53:40 --> 00:54:01

So the first gift that Islam gave us is a direct relationship with our Creator. We don't need any man as an intermediary. We don't need any other human being or any other being of any sort as an intermediary between us and God. That's how significant we are as women, that we can talk to God directly.

00:54:02 --> 00:54:04

And we believe that He will answer us directly.

00:54:07 --> 00:54:59

Islam made us equal in value to men. So whereas in many other religions or civilizations, people were discussing whether women had souls, whether women were really equal to men in terms of their spiritual worth and value, right from the beginning, Islam made it clear, as we've made, as we've seen in some of the verses of the Koran, that Allah values us as much as he values men, right, and that the best of us, as he says, in a chromosome in the law, he attack on the most noble of us, in God's sight is the one who is the most righteous, the one who is the most God conscious so we as women have the ability to be better

00:55:00 --> 00:55:06

than men, right? And vice versa, depending on our, our deeds and our God consciousness.

00:55:08 --> 00:55:29

Islam allowed us to be true to our nature as women, we don't have to pretend that we are men, we don't have to pretend that we don't have our periods, we'd have to pretend that, you know, we wish somebody would stand up for us in the bus and the train, and that men would you know, chivalrous again, we don't have to pretend

00:55:31 --> 00:55:36

to do something that is not natural to us. We don't have to compete with men.

00:55:39 --> 00:55:55

We can be true to our nature. And, you know, one of the times when you really notice this, and you really gonna appreciate this is when you become mothers. Because that's when you realize, Oh, you know,

00:55:57 --> 00:56:03

physically, I'm having a completely different experience of parenthood to my husband, right.

00:56:04 --> 00:56:16

Also, like, things like breastfeeding. Yeah, it's a very intense role. The role of motherhood is a very intense role. And it really makes you appreciate that Subhan Allah,

00:56:17 --> 00:56:50

Allah subhanaw taala gave the responsibility of providing to the men for a reason, right. And that, and you can see that once you once you realize that, actually, you know, just by by virtue of biology, we have different roles to play, right. And a lot valued our role as mothers so much that he made it the responsibility of men to free us up to be able to do that role, and not have to worry about things like finances.

00:56:52 --> 00:56:56

Islam gives us a healthy, balanced, equitable relationship with men.

00:56:57 --> 00:57:07

Right, we don't need to be, you know, constantly in a fight about you know, who's more important. He just works harder.

00:57:08 --> 00:57:09

it cetera, et cetera, et cetera,

00:57:11 --> 00:57:22

allows us to be women and allows men to be men. And it's that polarity, femininity and masculinity that makes men and women's attracted to one another actually, right.

00:57:24 --> 00:57:48

Islam protects women, and demands that men take responsibility. So many of the laws and many of the guide guidance or guidelines in the Quran, and the Sunnah, you'll see that actually, they're there to protect women, they're there to prevent certain negative consequences.

00:57:50 --> 00:57:59

And the whole idea that, you know, a man can't just have a relationship with you. He can't just be intimate with you without committing to you,

00:58:01 --> 00:58:09

which is called the marriage, right? And they have to provide for you if he is going to commit if he's going to be intimate with you.

00:58:10 --> 00:58:15

forces men to take responsibility. Right? Whereas what happened,

00:58:17 --> 00:58:25

unfortunately, in the West, especially during the 60s and 70s, his women were protesting that marriage is a type of slavery.

00:58:26 --> 00:58:42

Right? feminists were protesting marriages is a type of slavery. And we don't want to be part of that. And so what they did inadvertently is made easier for men to use and discard women, right?

00:58:44 --> 00:58:51

They might not have intended to do that, but that's exactly what happened. So now a man didn't have to commit to a woman anymore.

00:58:52 --> 00:58:55

Because, you know, the free love movement. They called it the free love movement.

00:58:56 --> 00:59:13

And they said, you know, marriage is the type of slavery childcare is, you know, having to look after kids, it's a type of slavery. So not only did they demean the traditional roles of women, they actually made it easier for men to exploit women.

00:59:14 --> 00:59:51

And it's not a coincidence. You know, brothers and sisters, not a coincidence that the me to movement when you look at some of the abuses that were taking place, they started from after the 60s and 70s. That's when it really started flourishing, the types of you know, sexual harassment and abuse, why there's a direct correlation between the second wave of feminism and the anti marriage movement that came with it, and how women became easier to exploit after that, easier to exploit.

00:59:55 --> 00:59:59

Islam gives us a community

01:00:01 --> 01:00:12

Designed to serve us from the cradle to the grave. Right? So, obviously, you know, this is what the ideal is. And that is that

01:00:14 --> 01:00:57

when a girl is born, she is under the care of her father and her family, right. As she grows up, they are responsible for her in terms of her needs, fulfilling her needs, financial needs, etc. And then when she gets married, her husband is responsible for protecting her for providing for her. And then when she becomes elderly, her son, especially becomes responsible for providing and taking care of her. And under an Islamic polity, the state would also have that responsibility, right?

01:00:58 --> 01:01:13

For example, if she became a widow, and she didn't have anyone to rely on, or the other male relatives become responsible, right for providing fire. So the way when, when the Islamic system is applied properly,

01:01:14 --> 01:01:35

and Muslims follow the Islamic injunctions properly and live their lives in, you know, according to that complete world view, then what you find is that it's not the Islamic Society is designed to serve women from the cradle to the grave, which is a huge thing.

01:01:39 --> 01:01:43

Islam made women real impact players throughout its history.

01:01:44 --> 01:01:52

Nobody can say to us that Islamic law was and this this is something you read in like so called Islamic feminist

01:01:53 --> 01:01:58

writings, that men formulated the whole of Islamic law and blah, blah, blah.

01:01:59 --> 01:02:39

What are you talking about? You know, what do you think I Isha was, you know, I shed the light on her was one of the earliest Islamic jurists, right? She was there right from the time of the Prophet sallallahu sallam, and after he passed away, right? The the kailis used to refer to her, she explained the Quran to people, right. So this idea that men are the ones who've like, you know, created all of history. Even Islamic history is like a load of rubbish. You know, we have one of my shoe chef, a crumb Natalie's written a book about,

01:02:41 --> 01:02:41

you know,

01:02:42 --> 01:02:56

if I find it hard to kind of father myself, but 1000s of Muslim women who were scholars throughout our history, who helped to preserve the Hadeeth. Right?

01:02:57 --> 01:03:14

Women were scholars right from the beginning. And we're talking about, you know, having jazz art, teaching, and passing on the knowledge to scholars and men and women. And that's been there right from the beginning.

01:03:16 --> 01:03:25

Whereas as we mentioned, the idea of going to university, and having an education is a relatively new idea in the west for women.

01:03:30 --> 01:03:31

It's I made women,

01:03:33 --> 01:03:40

role models for men and women. So in the Quran, Allah gives us examples of women who he says are role models for both men and women.

01:03:42 --> 01:03:49

And throughout our history, if we are to think about some of the great people you know, we have, apart from the wives of the Prophet SAW Selim, we have

01:03:50 --> 01:04:04

people like even in recent history, Zainab al ghazali. We have Ella Collins, the eldest sister, elder, half sister of Malcolm X, I really recommend you look her up and read about her.

01:04:06 --> 01:04:21

And of course, in early Islamic history, we also have far too much theory, who set up the university in Morocco. We have so many women, I mean, it's upon Allah, one of the Sahaba yet

01:04:23 --> 01:04:32

and the generations that came after them, many female scholars, too many for us to really enumerate here.

01:04:36 --> 01:04:59

And Islam also gives us as women a global sisterhood like no other. And that's not to be belittled. I was sitting with one of my friends who's a convert to Islam. She's an English lady, and she was telling me that when she became a Muslim, she realized what true love and friendship between women was

01:05:01 --> 01:05:47

She says she never experienced sisterhood with other women the way she did when she became a Muslim. And that's something we take for granted as Muslims. She said, you know, one of the reasons was that usually they would have mixed gatherings when she was a non Muslim. And she said, you know, I'll be sitting there, and a woman would be talking to my husband, and I'd be sort of getting a bit jealous, you know, like, keeping an eye on them, like, you know, I don't know what he's doing. And I would be flirting with somebody as well. And that was seen as normal. But what that did, what that kind of that system or that way of socializing did was it pitted the women against one another. Right,

01:05:47 --> 01:05:49

competing for attention.

01:05:51 --> 01:05:55

And it was really interesting conversation I had with her but the kind of

01:05:57 --> 01:06:42

conclusion from that conversation was, it made me realize, Pamela, we take it for granted that we have that sense, we have those female only spaces, we have that complete sense, in short, a lot of safety that, you know, we are when we're as women together as sisters, right? We have a true sisterhood. I can go to any country on Earth, where there are Muslims, and somebody will offer me somewhere to stay somewhere to live, you know, will look after me, just because I'm a Muslim, not for any other reason. And I've experienced that many times, many Muslim countries, so that brotherhood and sisterhood is one of the

01:06:43 --> 01:06:46

honors and one of the gifts that Islam gives us as women.

01:06:50 --> 01:06:54

We have to get away from the reductionist approach just to summarize this,

01:06:55 --> 01:07:29

Yanni. You know, sometimes people hone in to one or two laws in Islam, and then they take it out of context. Or they say, Well, look at this, this looks unfair. But it looks unfair when you take it out of context. And when you don't look at Islam as a comprehensive and holistic system. And it's kind of not fair to just take a small part of something and then use it to represent the whole thing, right. So we also shouldn't do that we should present Islam and think of Islam as a holistic, complete system.

01:07:30 --> 01:07:32

I think that's the end of my

01:07:34 --> 01:07:45

that's the end of my presentation for today. So just come along here. And I'm going to go to the chat and see if there are any questions or if there are any questions that you want to highlight

01:07:46 --> 01:07:49

and start facing we have

01:07:50 --> 01:07:59

another website where people submit their questions. Okay, I'll share, I'll share my screen and then you're able to see those questions. And Shawn, just give me one second.

01:08:14 --> 01:08:16

Okay, can you see that? Yeah.

01:08:18 --> 01:08:22

Yeah, yeah. Okay, so let's start with the top question if you can, okay.

01:08:24 --> 01:08:36

smilla. So, could you define feminism? Um, I could. The thing is that there are different definitions of feminism, and there is one type of feminism. So

01:08:38 --> 01:08:43

there's Christian feminism, which is different to lesbian feminism, and there's,

01:08:44 --> 01:08:54

you know, liberal feminism, and there's radical feminism. So there are different types of feminism's. But essentially, the idea is

01:08:55 --> 01:09:04

that it's about women's rights, and it's about women pushing back against

01:09:06 --> 01:09:32

oppression, right, that's what it would be defined in. Its most at its core. But I would argue that actually, it is a type of individualism because it's all about the individual woman and her happiness and her rights and her interests. That Trump any other consideration. Right. So it's really a type of individualism, a type of secular liberalism.

01:09:34 --> 01:09:42

Okay, exactly. Okay. That will go on to the next one. And what are your thoughts on women working in the West? Generally?

01:09:44 --> 01:09:59

There's nothing wrong with women working, you know, Subhanallah we're all encouraged to use our talents to do you know, what we have to do? We all have a right to earn a living for example, etc, right? There's no there's nothing really wrong with that.

01:10:00 --> 01:10:00

at all,

01:10:02 --> 01:10:05

I think where it goes wrong is when

01:10:08 --> 01:10:12

having a career becomes the most important

01:10:13 --> 01:10:27

aspiration that's presented to girls and women, you know, as if having a career is what's going to define you and define your happiness, which is completely wrong. And when girls and women are encouraged to delay marriage,

01:10:28 --> 01:11:11

and they don't realize that actually, you've actually got a clock, a body clock, right. And there's only a certain period of time that you're going to be able to have kids easily, probably right. And probably all the young men, especially the Muslim, religious men are all going to get married at a young age, because they're trying to stay chaste. Right, so they want to get married quickly. So if you keep delaying marriage, and you keep prioritizing work and career and these things, you might miss the boat. So I would say when it becomes imbalanced, like that, and it becomes like the main thing that defines you, that's when it goes wrong.

01:11:12 --> 01:11:29

Because we, as human beings, need to be part of families, when you're when you get older, you're going to love the fact that you have a family, it's going to give you a lot of strength, it's going to give you a lot of meaning. So we don't want

01:11:31 --> 01:12:13

the idea of work in the West, I would say, has been presented as like the be all and end all. Probably because the government wants people to be taxpayers, you know. And he wants people to be taxpayers as soon as possible. So I think we have to be have to have a little bit of healthy cynicism when it comes to that. And realize that actually, nobody on their deathbed regrets not staying at work longer, right. They regret things like family relationships. Yeah, very true. Absolutely. And so the next question that we've got is, do you think women should work part time, then, as you've like, kind of said, they should manage their priorities. And, you know, especially

01:12:13 --> 01:12:17

when they have kids, in order to for the profit area, the children,

01:12:19 --> 01:12:26

I think we should create the sort of community that allows women not to work when they have young children.

01:12:27 --> 01:12:32

You know, because it is a full time job, when you have a new baby, it's full time job.

01:12:34 --> 01:12:47

Even raising young children is a full time job, there needs to be somebody who focuses on the home. And that should be honored. And that should be seen as something wonderful and important.

01:12:48 --> 01:13:28

And just because the wider society doesn't see it as that we as women shouldn't be being affected by that. And unfortunately, we are. So I know a lot of sisters who are very creative, you know, there mompreneurs as they're known, right, which is like, they run businesses online. And you know, they find ways of doing things in a creative way. But the kind of idea of women having the pressure to work, even when they have little children, I think we want to, we want to move our community away from that model, and we want sisters to be able to be committed and devoted to motherhood.

01:13:30 --> 01:13:35

Especially in the early years, which is when a child becomes a real human being.

01:13:36 --> 01:13:50

Okay, good. All right. So on to the next one. To what extent should women obey their husbands? Oh, man, yeah. So obedience to the husband. The reason why we obey our husbands is because we are

01:13:52 --> 01:14:07

doing so in obedience to Allah. Because Allah is just like, you obey your parents, because Allah told you to obey your parents, right? So similarly, a wife obeys her husband, because Allah told her to, to what extent

01:14:08 --> 01:14:55

you do your best. That's basically it right? You do your best to a bagel husband. Of course, the the husband wife relationship isn't one of master and servant. It's not like that, you know, when we think of the word obey. That's what comes to mind to us right in the West. But what it really is, is a negotiation. It's a negotiation between two human beings. But one of those, one of them is the head of the house, right? And so it's just like when you have a company and there's a CEO, what the CEO says goes in at the end of the day, right? The CEO may consult with everybody may consult with the deputy may consult with other people, but the final decision is the CEOs. So

01:14:56 --> 01:14:59

to the best of our ability, but of course, never

01:15:00 --> 01:15:03

But in disobedience to Allah, and a woman is never

01:15:04 --> 01:15:18

required to disobey her to obey her husband, in anything that's going to harm her, you know, it's going to be harmful to her. So, you know, in a normal marriage, there won't be that kind of dynamic of

01:15:19 --> 01:15:29

you must obey me type thing, you know, whatever needs to come to that. But, you know, it's good to know that as the head of the house,

01:15:30 --> 01:15:35

as wives we do obey our husbands to the best of our ability.

01:15:36 --> 01:16:06

But obviously, some negotiation. Yeah, and it's a bit of a dialogue between the two, isn't it? Yes, exactly. Yeah. All right. And so the next one, so, for your talk, I'm often challenged by non Muslims about the patriarchy in Islam, for example, having to answer to an obey our fathers and husbands. Would you say that this tape does exist? I think you mentioned about obeying our husbands and men, but how would we then explain it to non Muslims who might find it harder to understand?

01:16:07 --> 01:16:44

I would say I would say, Look, I don't like using the word patriarchy to describe Islam. Because in Islam, we have patriarchal figures, and we have matriarchal figures. You know, like we have mothers of the believers, if you think about it, like on a, on a macro level, we had prophets who are who are feminists, they would be like the patriarchy, right. But we had mothers of the believers as well, who, who are women of authority in our community, right. So they have the matriarchy. So I don't think Islam fits easily into any kind of thing that they would want to fit it into.

01:16:45 --> 01:16:46


01:16:47 --> 01:17:34

so I would move the conversation away from these labels. But I would say that what's wrong with men being told that they are the protectors of women? So Pamela sisters, you know, never feel embarrassed about this. Never think that this is it. We should be proud that our men care about us, and they look after us. If you look, again, this is politically incorrect to say this, right? But if you look at the stories that have come out of the metoo movement, right. So Pamela, just look, just look at Jeffrey Epstein, right is that I think that's how you pronounce his name, and the abuse that he was doing, right? When you listen to the stories of the girls, teenage girls, right? being lured

01:17:34 --> 01:18:27

into this kind of into these rings, and then abused, you ask yourself, you do ask yourself, where were their fathers? Wherever the men in their lives, seriously, they were teenage girls, right? And the reason why in Western society, women and girls have become easy to exploit, easy to groom and girls are being groomed. I know, I went to I went to a state school, a gold school, my friends, were undergoing a type of grooming. At the age of 13, they felt obliged to go and give sexual favors to boys and men, right? That's what they were doing. I wasn't part of that. And then I left because I had a father, I had a father I had I had, I had a framework to live my life by. But they will

01:18:27 --> 01:18:34

literally being exploited, but they thought they were just you know, doing what teenagers are supposed to do. Right?

01:18:35 --> 01:19:08

The point is that, unfortunately, modern life, especially modern Western life, has ripped fathers and men away from their women folk. And what that's done is it's prevented women from having the protection of men. And when you look at the abuses have gone on, especially when you look at the stories coming out of the meaty movement. You ask yourself, why aren't men protecting women? Where were the men in these women's lives? You know?

01:19:13 --> 01:19:46

So Pamela, you know, I don't know how else to express it Really? is something that we shouldn't be embarrassed about at all we should say? Yeah, you know, God made women, men stronger than women. He literally made men physically stronger than women. That's why men don't play against women in tennis, for example, right? You don't have men, boxing women, right? Because men and women are different. So if Allah if God made men stronger, that means he's given them the responsibility to protect the one who's not as strong, right?

01:19:47 --> 01:19:59

Sorry, that's just like a. I can Yeah, no, I understand. I can see why the like, certain, like, women don't want to show their vulnerabilities. Yeah. And have like being taken care of. It's more of that. I know. I can take

01:20:00 --> 01:20:10

Carrying myself kind of thing? And is that is that mindset wrong to think of, you know, women who say I can take care of myself, they usually end up lonely

01:20:12 --> 01:20:24

in a relationship as well, right? Yeah. And like, even when they've got their husband, like, they don't like to be, I don't know mollycoddled, or like taking care of us, per se. Yeah. So that mindset, what do you make of it?

01:20:26 --> 01:20:26


01:20:28 --> 01:20:32

as my mom says, Don't be too brave, you know, don't be too brave.

01:20:33 --> 01:20:55

I would say that look, we're not talking about mollycoddling. You know, nobody's talking about we don't want to be mollycoddled. You know, of course, and in a normal, healthy relationship, that wouldn't, that wouldn't happen anyway. But we do want to know, okay, when who does the buck stop with when it comes to make the final decision? You know, every every kind of

01:20:56 --> 01:21:22

organization needs to know that, for example, right. So the family is like an organization. The family is like an organization you need. People have different roles in that family, right? And there needs to be a CEO of the family. And that's all that that is really. And it's really to prevent women from being exploited by other men. And who's going to protect women from being exploited by other men.

01:21:23 --> 01:21:45

But a man, you know, he's in the best position to do that. Absolutely. Okay to document her. I have a couple more questions for you guys. We've got time for that. I know. It's Yes, inshallah. It should be. Okay. Cool. So many You see, I've got my I've got my teenage son trained. Well, he's, he's gonna be sorting through that. If you do that. Yeah.

01:21:46 --> 01:21:48

That's good. That's good. Starting young.

01:21:51 --> 01:21:54

So many young Muslim females are saying men are trash.

01:21:56 --> 01:21:59

statement is quite problematic. What is your response to this?

01:22:03 --> 01:22:11

Oh, I feel so sorry for them. I really feel really sorry for that. Because that's gonna be it's gonna be so hard to be married to somebody like that.

01:22:13 --> 01:22:15

Right. Um,

01:22:16 --> 01:22:22

again, I think people have just picked this up from the culture, you know, this idea of toxic masculinity. And

01:22:23 --> 01:22:44

really, when you look at toxic toxic masculinity, it's just criticizing masculinity in and of itself, right? Like, if you think about it, we need in a healthy way, we need strength, we need masculinity, we need the male attributes, even aggression, we need that sometimes right in certain contexts.

01:22:45 --> 01:22:56

And so what's happened is this narrative, again, this narrative of men have always oppressed women, has become so kind of widespread that.

01:22:58 --> 01:23:12

That I think, you know, this is what's causing girls to say stuff like, and of course, it's problematic. Of course, it's problematic we should be. We, of course, there are oppressive and nasty people amongst boys and amongst girls amongst men and women, right?

01:23:13 --> 01:23:46

That doesn't mean you. I mean, it's, it's just like racism, it's a type of racism, right? If you if it's wrong for us to label a whole race or a whole colored type of Colored People a certain way, just because of, you know, a trait, you know, you say, oh, all Indians are like this all Somalis or black people or white people, that's racist, right. So saying men are trash is a type of prejudice, as well, you know, it's really unjust. So yes, it is it is

01:23:48 --> 01:23:51

problematic for saying not all men, right. It's only also you some of them.

01:23:53 --> 01:24:01

But yeah, on to the next one. as men, how can we ensure we uphold the status of Muslim women, and make sure we protect them?

01:24:05 --> 01:24:06


01:24:07 --> 01:24:54

I think you know, brothers have to always just look out for the sisters in general, right? If you're talking in the unique context, you know, just let's be kind of considerate. Regarding each other, Let's respect each other. Right? When if you want to get married, you do it in the proper way. You don't try to develop a relationship with somebody, you go and approach them in a in a proper way and try to do it through their parents. You know, I'm just read the way that the prophet SAW Selim said that women should be treated and that men and women should interact with one another and follow that guidance, I would say, and I think let's talk about it starting with your own home right now. So if

01:24:54 --> 01:24:59

you are a man, you've got a mother, right? You've got women in your home.

01:25:00 --> 01:25:07

That's where it starts. If you can up, if you can respect your mum, if you can do things for your mum,

01:25:08 --> 01:25:14

even if it's uncomfortable or is boring, or you know, just do it, just obey her just do things for her.

01:25:17 --> 01:25:25

If you've got sisters, give them some money, you know, like, look after them have create that culture of,

01:25:26 --> 01:25:33

you know, it's upon Allah, one of my co he said, Allah doesn't want women and men to become independently of each other.

01:25:35 --> 01:25:37

He wants us to depend on one another.

01:25:38 --> 01:26:22

And that's a healthy thing. That's a good thing. So that's what we want, you know, we don't want to look what's happened to society, everyone has become an individual. And so everyone dies alone and miserable. Right? So we don't want that we want family, we believe in family values, right? And the way you ensure family values is not by considering one group or the other trash, but by taking care of one another, I think is quite self explanatory. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So we've got about 10 more minutes. Is that all right? Yeah. Yep. Okay, cool. So how do we address the marriage of Ashton rhodiola, who and to our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam? I see a lot of people

01:26:22 --> 01:26:30

attacking Islam for this and is one of the reasons why they chose to the Islam, okay, really? Well, they must have had a weak faith.

01:26:31 --> 01:26:32

Well, look,

01:26:33 --> 01:26:43

people usually use these things as an excuse, but usually they have some emotional other issue that makes them you know, have a problem and choose to leave.

01:26:45 --> 01:26:56

Recently, I've actually done a video about this. So if you go to the Islam, this is just for your reference afterwards. If you go to the man channel, youtube channel,

01:26:57 --> 01:27:22

there is a series that I've been doing called the life of Asia, mother of the believers. Yeah. And the third video, Episode Three is about the marriage of Asia to the profits are certain. And what I highlight in that video is, first of all, that I should have the Lana herself talks about her marriage to the prophets of Salaam. Yeah, she was. She's nine years old when she started to live with the prophets Asana.

01:27:23 --> 01:27:24


01:27:26 --> 01:27:29

something flying in front of me. Okay. Um,

01:27:30 --> 01:28:09

and, you know, I should have did, some of the factors that we have to bear in mind is a at that time, it was not abnormal for people to marry young. Okay. It was the norm all across the world. It was so normal that the enemies of the prophet SAW Selim never even attacked him for marrying a young woman, right? And actually was a young woman, because the Islamic definition of womanhood is puberty. Okay? In modern times, it's become age, an age, which is quite arbitrary, if you think about it.

01:28:10 --> 01:28:15

In Islamic history, or Islamic law, it's actually

01:28:16 --> 01:28:27

the physical changes, right? that take place, which are basically for women, it's having your period, okay, which you can have from about the age of nine people can have from the age of nine.

01:28:29 --> 01:28:30


01:28:31 --> 01:28:42

for men, it's obviously the growth of, you know, hairs and pubic hair and the voice changing, becoming D pop voice breaking.

01:28:43 --> 01:28:57

And, yeah, that that sort of thing, right. And also wet dreams. So those are the things that are markers of becoming an adult in Islam. So with actual delanda, and

01:28:59 --> 01:29:01

women and girls in that time,

01:29:03 --> 01:29:15

they would often be married at a young age. And then when they became adults, islamically adults, when they became When they reached puberty, and they were considered mature enough, they would go and then

01:29:16 --> 01:29:27

live with their husband, consummate the marriage. Before that, it was just a contract. It's like a contract. You know, there was no was not actually living together. There's no proper marriage like that. It was just a contract.

01:29:29 --> 01:29:41

So that it was the move across the world for people to marry quite young, even my own grandparents. From what I've heard, they were like 13 when they got married, right? This is an India so

01:29:42 --> 01:29:47

even today in certain countries is kind of normal. People don't even know how old they are.

01:29:48 --> 01:29:59

even know how old they are sometimes. You know, we're talking about Western cities. But in some places in the world, you just look at something Oh, you look old enough to get married. That's how it works. Right?

01:30:00 --> 01:30:02

So that's one factor. The other thing is,

01:30:04 --> 01:30:04


01:30:06 --> 01:30:13

people used to die young in those days as well, the average life expectancy was like 38 for a woman.

01:30:15 --> 01:30:45

Okay? If you live beyond that, it was like considered like, Wow, you've, you're lucky, you know, you've got a long life. And that's alien to us now. But imagine if you knew that you were going to die at about 40 How would you live your life, you wouldn't try to elongate your childhood, right? You're like, you'd be trying to move things along right quickly. So children used to mature and then they would be treated like adults, they would be brought up to become like adults quickly boys and girls.

01:30:46 --> 01:30:47


01:30:48 --> 01:31:26

so and, and also child mortality was very high. So if you could get married young, you'd have children younger, and you're more likely to have children that survive, right? So these are just some of the little kinds of factors I should have been I was not oppressed in any way at all. If you look at her, and you know, she's one of the most prolific generators of hobbies, she was feisty, she used to get angry, she used to even show her anger in front of the prophet SAW Selim, sometimes you know, her dad came and told her off for being rude to the prophet SAW Selim. But she was allowed to because there was this kind of difference.

01:31:27 --> 01:31:56

There were different rules for the wives of the Prophet, they could be a little bit more relaxed with the profits and loss lm right because of that husband, wife relationship, but she wasn't in no way like an oppressed little girl. Not at all, she was a feisty woman, right, who really answered back and, you know, stood up for herself if she needed to with other people, etc, right. And she loved on a soul Allah sallallahu sallam, so they don't have the characteristic of what Westerners would call abuse, right?

01:31:58 --> 01:32:04

So those are just some of the things to bear in mind. Now, that doesn't mean that in our times,

01:32:05 --> 01:32:18

it's normal. Or in our context, you see, we have to be nuanced. We have to, okay, something that might have been okay and fine in a certain time and context, even today, in certain countries or certain contexts.

01:32:20 --> 01:32:27

It doesn't mean that it's applicable to everybody. Right? So in our time, in our context,

01:32:29 --> 01:32:50

if it's human beings, if they've come to a conclusion that okay, no children of our times, they don't mature that young, you know, we want them to stay in education as long as possible, etc, etc. And times have changed. And there are various treaties and various laws in place, right?

01:32:51 --> 01:33:18

That's fine. We can respect those laws. And we should, you know, and that becomes the new normal for the Muslim community. But to judge history, with the lens of today, this is called present ism. It's like you're you're applying your lens and your biases to people of the past, you don't have a right to do that. They had a different context. They had a different society, they had different norms, right?

01:33:19 --> 01:33:20

They had different norms. So

01:33:21 --> 01:33:32

Oh, that explains some of it. You can look at the demand channel, I shot episode three. And you can also go on the yaqeen Institute website.

01:33:33 --> 01:33:40

And they have a wonderful infographic about a shirt that is the marriage of Ayesha. And it's written by

01:33:41 --> 01:33:59

Nora D. Knight is a friend of mine, Salvador de knight who I interviewed recently, she made a beautiful infographic about the age of Asia, and how to understand that etc. Okay, does that make up for that or start up your time?

01:34:00 --> 01:34:44

overrun a little bit? But I think I could speak for all today and say that was enlightening talk and q&a as well, some response to take home about our own roles that we play in Islam, and how women are honored in their own right. And I just want to say a big thank you to yourself for coming in today and talking to us. And can I just say one more thing? Sorry. Yeah. Yeah, I just want to encourage everybody here, you know, listen, a little talk like mine, and you know, it's going to not going to answer everything. What each and every one of us has to do as women is go and seek knowledge. You know, go and find knowledgeable people in your own community scholars, especially, and sit with

01:34:44 --> 01:34:59

them, study with them. And whenever you hear something in Islam, that sounds that somebody accuses of being unjust or some somebody presents as being unfair. Always think to yourself, let me wait let me go and find out the truth. Let me go and seek knowledge about that. Because there's probably

01:35:00 --> 01:35:10

listen more to it, you know. And lastly, I just want to please encourage all of you because I'm launching a Muslim women's organization,

01:35:11 --> 01:35:31

hopefully in sha Allah, with an education wing, and, you know, that will run campaigns that will really help Muslim women in sha Allah. And at the moment we're at, we're doing some fundraising for that. And I was told that I can tell you about my launch group page, which is basically

01:35:33 --> 01:35:38

going to type in its launch group.com slash Muslim women.

01:35:41 --> 01:36:17

We've just posted a link to in the group, Charles Oh, geez, thank you so much. Yeah, and I really, I'd really love to have your support, because I think, you know, there's no Muslim women's organization that I know of in the West that really represents, you know, practicing Muslim women in the way that we'd want. So I really hope that we can build something great like that inshallah. So please, please give whatever you can and be one of the founding people of this organization in sha Allah. Second Law fair way.

01:36:18 --> 01:36:52

inshallah we will all donate, and help you to grow, grow this platform for Muslim women. Just a little announcement and reminder for our attendees. Tomorrow, we've got the hustings for our upcoming elections. And nominations have already taken like place and you can like read their manifestos on our website. So if you come to the postings to about tomorrow, that's where you will get a chance to hear from all the nominees and learn more about the, you know, what they want to implement in their time in isop. Next year, inshallah.

01:36:53 --> 01:37:14

But yeah, and you can find a link for that on our socials as well or in the link in the chat as well. But just offer her to everyone for coming today. And to start as well. There's some great takeaways we can take from this, you know, that the last game that she dropped, seek knowledge, go find knowledgeable people and learn from them. I think if we take anything from today, it should be that inshallah.

01:37:15 --> 01:37:44

But someone just made a comment in just in the chat as well, I think that's worth reading. I would say that anyone who needs to see you after puppet to the office, along with particular attention to his amazing relationship with a shell will have no doubts left about this issue. And I think I can only agree with that, and I'm sure Southern does as well. Well. Does Africa have everyone's time, enjoy your xR and remember, it's all in your glass. So don't worry. He will break

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