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Should Parents Spy On Their Children?

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Farhan Abdul Azeez

Channel: Farhan Abdul Azeez

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

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are parents allowed to spy on their children and Muslim Institute presents q&a with forehand abdulazeez? So this is a question that comes up a lot scenario, for example, we have a parent, a couple who are worried about their 14 year old son, he may be getting into the wrong crowd or be more secretive and how he's behaving, then the question becomes, are we allowed to spy on them, because we know in general, Islam forbid, spying on another person. So let's unpack this scenario, there's a couple things that we have to consider number one, the age of the child, if the child is below, if the child is below the age of puberty, still a child, then As parents, we have full

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guardianship over them, and you are allowed to look at everything they're doing, and be a responsible parent, once they reach the age of adulthood. Now, secondarily, what do we consider that to be in our society, generally speaking, 18 is considered you're an adult islamically, however, you're an adult, once you reach the age of puberty, once someone reaches the age of puberty, they are now responsible for their actions themselves. And so they take on autonomy. And they now their relationship with their parents is a little different. The parents now have to respect their privacy as an adult. Now, if your child is getting into something that you're worried about, there's two,

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there's two kind of principles we have to keep in mind. The first is, is there a need for it, right? Somebody might have just this addiction to look through somebody else's phone and look at their messages and see what's going on and what their friends are talking about. But there isn't a need for it, there isn't any genuine concern of something happening. And that's the second principle is that is there a scenario or a strong suspicion that you'll be either preventing harm, or bringing about a benefit. So those two things need to be there. If those are there, there is a need for it, and there is a concern about preventing harm or bringing some benefit, then that's when there may be

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some allowance in terms of what can be done. But what I want to caution, everyone listening is that this addictive behavior that we can fall into this trap of just kind of like prying into other people's business and looking at their messages, looking at reading through their emails, or you know, trying to break into their, their, their their phone and look at things without any genuine concern or reason is not something that's permissible in Islam. The other thing to consider is if you have a concern, a genuine concern that your your son or daughter may be getting into something is to have an open conversation with them. If you were to go behind their back and try and look into

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their phone and they find out a trust is lost, right? And then those, get those those gateways of communication between you and your child will now be lost because the trust is broken. So just having an honest conversation, sit down with your child and ask them questions that you're concerned about would be a much more effective way, potentially, then then going the behind their back. Now if there's genuine concern or something very serious and steps need to be done, then again, there may be some allowance for that, but the rule isn't based on the exception. We'll be covering this topic, and many other topics in light of pseudo Herat in the upcoming class, faith and honor that will be

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teaching. If you are someone who wants to anchor your faith, and be able to withstand the winds of change in terms of our morality and ethics and behavior, as well as our faith itself, then this is a class that you will want to attend. I hope to see you there.