Channel: Faaik Gamieldien
Does the Quran a wife to Divorce her Husband?
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Alhamdulillah a hungry lion who wanna stay in on a safari who are not meant to be here when I talk Hello Ollie when I will be learning in truth and fishing our Marina Maria de la for them will be Lola who are my union fellow howdy Allah. Masha, Allah Allah Allah Allahu Allahu la sharika wanna shadow Mohammad Abdul or a solo? solo Otto Robbie was Allahu alayhi wa. He was heavy woman Darby, Dakota, he lay with my bad. Beloved brothers and sisters in Islam. Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
You have noticed that I have started a new series called The marriage contract, which I promised before, this doesn't mean that our series on Pacific has ended No, by no means.
Our run probably two or three series at the same time and we can intersperse it so it doesn't become boring for some people.
So this week, I'm going to start with the first part of
the marriage contract. And we asked the question does allows panatela allow a woman to divorce her husband in the end.
controversial, but it's actually not controversial at all.
We will continue next week with our lectures on also effect and any challenges or another new series, which are also promised, which was on inheritance and drafting on this on an Islamic compliant world. And the things that we all need to know these, all this regard is essential knowledge.
essential knowledge, if you have a system is going to get married, if you already have a wife, if you have a daughter that that is already married, or getting married. And if you are a mother with children, these essential knowledge that you must have that maybe your parents didn't have, and didn't apprise you off. So we find that there are many things that we don't know. In fact,
more we don't know than what we know, a lot of the things that we know, our marriage is all traditional and circumstantial, and many other reasons for it.
So inshallah, today we will just give a brief introduction. But the major topic, of course, is the topic of the relationship of divorce between a husband and a wife in the
first of all, is talking about the the,
the relationship between men and women. And I've spoken about this before in a in a long lecture, which I gave on the cosmic value of women. I just want to maybe repeat some of the things which I said they maybe
haven't mentioned the day, but there is one verse in the Quran Surah Baqarah, which I won't go today.
So Docker, as you know, is the second Surah of the Quran and we're looking at verse number 22. What does Allah say in verse number 22? a lot harder says, while I wouldn't miss you, lady Allah in a bill maher roof.
And this fundamentally spells out
the status of women in respect of or as Jack's juxtaposed against the status of men.
How that allows parents to view the rights and responsibilities of both to better have more rights than women. Do men have more responsibilities than women? Is and vice versa.
Is there bias against women in the Quran? Allah can be our last one created both.
So what does this mean? the vastness says la una wala hoonah mithila de la in the mouth allows one of the senses and a woman shall have the same
responsibilities and the same rights
as the man
same rights and same responsibilities. But allows I'm going to add a rider to that and allows one that says it must be Bill Maher roof.
Bill mout of notice with Bill Maher movement.
It comes from Word
arafa the RT Fu, which means to know and also of course, is a word that you know a lot of off off means that customs and the culture in which you live
traditions, culture, customer love and what is not the Sharia.
It's under Sharia, what is my roof. So my roof is everything which is good in that culture or that community
that should also be respected when it comes to the rights and obligations of men and women.
So not only the Sharia rights was be looked at those things which are good in the community, which is advantages to the wife or advantages to the husband, those are all issues that must be included
in this wall owner mithila. The Allina myth means like a lot furnaces, they have rights.
Women have rights, like the man has rights, women have responsibilities like the man has responsibilities.
The man's now maybe you can understand my roof a little bit better when the women came
you know the conquest of Makkah, particularly and when they came, ran away from when they made hegira to Medina, and they came to the prophet to accept Islam. In professional salon, we say to them,
the properties give them the right in the Sharia, these are writing the Sharia, then the Prophet always used to tell them, but remember this also maruf
we have writing the story, but it's also modeled everything in our community that we have, which is not part of the Sharia. But it's a good thing.
What What is the probably good thing that we which you can know by yourself RFI needs to know by yourself. You either know it by your mind, applying your mind to something, or you know, by looking at life around you and seeing that it's advantages. So a lot, a lot of professors have also said to them, apply your mind to the good things
and make that part of your rights and responsibilities. include that in your rights and responsibilities.
All right. So so your rights and responsibilities are
conditions or circumstances in the community, which supports those rights and responsibilities, which allows founder has placed upon us.
So you see that balance.
And I maybe I should tell you the story. Now we've never I told you and I forget when I've said many things, but I repeated and good for you and it's good for me awesome. So there was this gentleman who
had a very important question to ask.
And in the time, which he lived, there wasn't an island that could answer his question.
So the people said to him, Medina is not far away. Why don't you go to Medina
is a very good scholar in Medina is Abdullah gabicce was the cousin of our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.
Go to Medina and find him and ask him your question.
So this man was
very enthusiastic, you know, go go to Medina and asked around for Abdullah Abbas. And finally he came to the house of Abdullah Abbas. And Abdullah Abbas was sitting outside his house.
And he was sitting on a chair and he was looking into what may be called a mirror today, something that reflected his image.
And I've done it now my boss was busy cleaning himself and
cutting his clipping is here. Yeah, and then making his beard straight
and combing his hair. And this man was surprised. This man was very surprised. He said, he said to apply now imagine I came a long way to ask you a question. But can I ask you?
Why? Why? You know you are the greatest hub of the Navy sunwise you wish to spend your time sitting in front of a mirror like a woman beautifying yourself
you know, that's a habit didn't do anything, unless it was done by Muhammad Sallallahu sallam, or it was commanded by Mohammed Salah. Oh, it was commanded and mentioned by Allah subhanho wa Taala in the Quran.
So Abdullah abasi to the man, my dear brother. This is
submitted really, unless there's an operand represented from a murderer and make yourself pretty you asmin
Or a man
says yes and equal to this first, all our hoonah Mithra la de la hinda Morrow, and whatever is upon the woman is upon the man.
So we expect our women only to look pretty for us. So similarly just that they're the right over us that we have right over them that they should beautify themselves for us. They have a right over us and we should beautify ourselves for them.
So Pinilla This is the beauty of Islam.
So not like today, you know, sometimes men have dirty jobs, they work on the building, or they work on
work on cars, or whatever, and they're always full of man, oh, men to grease or whatever, and you find men that doesn't turn their beard, and they don't look after themselves, you know, they think that a man you know, they think their wife might accept them like it, no, the wife has the right to tell you by husband, please
press like this and, you know, wear the suit and wear the shirt. And
so when she looks at you, Mashallah, she will look at who else
wife is pretty for you. Because you're looking so ready, just by way of introduction
of looking at the
the the measures how Allah measures, men and women and the quality of that measurement. Or rather, we should say the equity of that measurement, because maruf also means equitable.
And we'll explain that some other time. So
that tells us then now we come to the,
to the most important contract that will ever, ever have in Islam, and the most neglected contract in Islam.
You know, we're always concerned about contracts, when we buy a house, you know, we get a lawyer friend of ours to read the small print, isn't it, the bank won't give you a loan until and unless you take out insurance on the house, and you take on insurance on your bond case, you die.
And you're worried about that. Because you don't want your wife to have the responsibility of paying a bond after you they tell you, you quickly sign that insurance at the bank to have your wife to have your life insurance. We have your house insured. Suddenly, if you buy a car, before you take the car on the road, what do you do first? What does the bank require you to do? If you have a bank loan? Or if you use your cell phone to do you first take out an insurance policy, or you take an insurance policy? What if nothing happens to your car at all, you drive for 30 or 40 years, you have done every single accident, but you've played all the time, and you've got this contact line there.
But what if you make a major accident don't have a policy? You can't then go to the insurance company and say, you know, can you give me a policy? No, not when an accident I have good reason out? No, no, no. You have to make allowance and preparation for Whatever may happen with your house. Allah protect us.
talk, may Allah protect us, and many other things we ensure everything today is about insurance. It's about
preparing for the day when something may just go wrong. And then we have of course, we have we have policies like a
health policy, policies, hospital plans, medical aid, why do
some people have medical aid, they never get sick. I know people who I know personally,
will never get sick.
But there may come a time when you need to learn in hospital never bypass. And if you don't have medical aid, or you don't have a hospital plan, you're in big trouble, because it's expensive things.
But all those kinds of contracts that are spoken about is nothing compared to this country.
I want to ask everybody in each one of you.
Do you have a contract? Did your parents speak to you about a contract?
90% of us who don't have contracts, don't follow this. Don't follow the
law. So I'm gonna seize Ofu below code
Ofu below good.
Respect and comply with the contracts that you make. And Abdullah says this word or podio refers to the stipulations in a marriage contract.
And we'll come to stipulate
In a marriage contract later, I want to stipulate in a marriage contract.
Your bond is binding on you, legally binding on you in
Islamic law and in South Africa. contracts are binding agreements.
what is the most important relationship we'll ever have in our lives?
Our marital relationship, or marriage, there is not a relationship, greater and more important in the eyes of Allah subhanho wa Taala.
in the eyes of
if you come with an issue,
after you're married, and you're not married, legally, we don't have a marriage contract.
There you go.
Divorce, for example, you don't have a marriage contract, you're not married legally.
The husband says his house is on my name. Number one, number two,
you take your bank,
take your children,
And then I asked him, I don't have a contract to do anything and do nothing.
We have what is called love marriages. Our marriages today are love marriages.
Marriages, no, no, no practical marriages anymore. They're no considerations of deed, or considerations of character.
No, two parents who have CPS and you know, your daughter has been nursing this gentleman for quite a while.
You're surely not ready yet.
To ask myself? What does it mean? They're not ready yet? Ready? For what? What? Are they busy doing to get ready for something? Do they need to kiss more ogmore? Go more out alone on holidays? Or what? What is it that you want for them to be? What do they want to be more ready?
And have you ever discussed the marriage contract with your daughter, your son more with your son and your daughter?
Because your son is going to be the head of the household.
For those parents who have gone through divorces and problems
with their own marriages in the marriage of the children and their families new are important. It is in hindsight this era when they come to me Yahushua very consistently now. You can't take insurance after the accident. I hope you
must follow the Dean of our laws of Hamilton, the Dean of our law pharmacies, overbid our code, and that code is their code, the stipulations which you lay down in your marriage contract. So this is your most important relationship.
And being on good terms, you know, people will say, Oh, you must be good, good on good terms with your neighbors. You must be on good terms with your family, you must be on good terms with your friends. What about good terms with your wife? good terms with your husband? I know there are people are good into the world, but not on good terms with you with their partners. What is the safety net?
And mainly because
there is no contract. And as I go along, I'll explain why is it because there is no contract? Why people divorce so easily. Why do they? Why do that love thing go away so easy so quickly?
And is replaced by fear?
Is it gonna take another wife is having an affair at the office? Is he seeing somebody else? Why does he come home so like,
the woman does have so much fear.
She becomes anxious. Then she becomes depressed.
Then she goes to the doctor without a husband even knowing she takes poll after poll after poll. Why? Because she knows she's got nothing to stand on.
Her husband divorced. She's called she's gonna
finish everything ends.
And why? Because we know don't follow the Koran, nor the Son of farmers. It's got nothing to do with South African law. It's got nothing to do with the Muslim personal Law Act. It's got nothing to do with it. It's got to do with as if you gave an ad Muslim person Latino women will have rights.
If we can take our rights from our Deen
Who do you think will give us the best rights?
the DA this Parliament
here we give rights
Do people want to get married? same sex marriages. But don't think that.
So these love marriages, as I call it,
where fathers don't to look, have you studied this character? Have you studied her character?
Have you studied the life of a parents of these parents?
Have you spoken to about a contract? What did you see? And have you the god spoken to him about? No Shere Khan? You know, I'm not a money person and don't want to get married for money. And
have you spoken to your father about a contract? No, no, my father doesn't actually worry about this.
We find him divorces are going up to organizations dealing with it can't cope anymore.
And the women can cope with the anxiety and vice versa. There are women there are men will abuse their wives in their wives will abuse their husbands.
As a counselor, I notice.
So when things go wrong, all that love
got it was love. Not for the sake of aloha versus love to some feeling, it was a what they call a fantasy.
People want to watch Netflix. So they think love means Oh, this is the you know, bliss forever.
You must have insurance policy in case you make an accident. You must have an insurance policy in case something goes wrong in the marriage. And that insurance policy is your is your marriage contract.
So the Quran and Sunnah Muhammad Al Salam of all the fact that we have, oh, we have so much law that governs us. Most of the laws in the Quran deals with the relationship between husband and wife in civil law in Islam.
Now, the next question I want to ask you, is
do you think the problem that NASA had problems in his marriages
he was the perfect man.
I would almost say man, the perfect women, all the women that he married was chosen by our last time.
So 90% of the time,
the owner problems canola, along with some data from Excel alaria.
But I want to relate to an incident
in the Quran,
and I want to give you some of the background to the incident.
give you the substance of our topic today,
I want to refer you
the Surah Nisa
the city said surah verse number 29.
Now before I quote the verse, I want to give you the
the the the setting of why this verse was revealed, what happened? Why did Allah revealed verse 29.
If you you don't have actual body, if you have fat full body, you could in Arabic, you can go to Hadith number 4786 or 478 16, an English translation of elbasan.
If you go to vital body, the orlimar will be able to read that and they will notice that there are different
circumstances in which companions relate as to how this why this verse was revealed. I'm going to relate to you. One of them
is reported that armor abubaker came to visit an Ibiza salon. There were some people outside the door of their visa salon. So we asked for permission to enter the profit center economy. The normal came in he also asked for permission to enter and
poverty, no work on it.
What was the busy prophet busy with he was busy city with all his wives
all have them
in that setting, you probably had a lot of settings with his wife together, they want to know what you know, what do they have issues, etc, etc, like we should do
as husbands, you know, like to say something, you know, worrying you troubling you, whatever you want to talk to me about something. So it's I didn't talk to you about so they're all of them spoke on one subject only. They said Yes, a little con to bias this con to get us that, you know, contra biases. We would like to have this and we'd like to have.
So, Professor Sam didn't say anything.
He didn't answer him.
So he said to them, we said,
I am going to stay away from you for a month.
Why did he say that? Because he didn't have an answer for them.
And because he didn't answer for them.
He was upset by it. Right? always upset that they asked him for things that he couldn't afford to give them. The poor man.
But of course, it wasn't always a Jasper is a is a rich man. And I think what is the profit or loss formula, he must have his finger, you know, some money to get to know to buy things that we like, after all the other women advocate we don't have to read the wires to the profit. So this is a perennial problem, most attentive piano.
So he was upset and he said to them, Look, I'm going to give
you know, give me a month.
The reason was that he wanted to allow us to sing the revelation about what he should tell them how we should answer them, because he couldn't afford to give.
So after 29 days, he went to Russia.
He said to Ayesha, well, let me first say to Ayesha
so what do
you say to Ayesha in me that Kiran laka Umbra
you say to I, I just think you know, Yasuda Today's the 29th day says you're gonna stay away from a bunch of it. My dear wife, this is the 20 this month only has 29 days. Exactly.
So easy to Ayesha. For me there Kiran? Lucky lucky Imran.
For Allah Allah and testa Julie had stuck meaning Meenie
miny, Adweek we seem to her Arusha, I am going to tell you something.
But I don't want you to give me an answer.
Until you have consulted your parents.
So she said,
What do you want your tongue? See, quoted this verse for?
This was the verse that allows for 100 revealed in connection with that request of the wives made 30 days earlier.
33 verse 29. What is the lesson?
Yeah, you wouldn't
unless he's obviously injured,
Cool. Let's watch. Can you live
in container to read another hieratic dunya
if you wish to have the life of this dunya
if you have to, if you wish to have the life of this world,
what we call the the nice life, the nice house, a nice car, nice clothes, nice change of shoes every month on a nice dress and a nice fat and all the condiments that go with it.
Well, that time they will no cause, say to your wives
was enough to her. If you want the life of this world. And you want the beauty of this world The refinements of this world fatale alswamitra system.
on laterra corner.
Corner. Sarah hand jameelah
this is who speaking allows for home today speaking. What does Allah say to Nemesis Allah?
Allah, Allah addresses him as
Allah He reveals it and honestly
tell you if they must come.
You will give them
what is called a gift. Constantly rated it's constantly a gift.
High School This is not the
temporary marriage Yehuda means a gift constellated give
Alyssa tell you that you will give them a constellate
Allah says damn famous come forth famous come forward and they might say to you
that yeah so okay you want the life of this dunya and what the prophet will do is
Allah tells him didn't what you give it you give them conciliatory give and halus
line could not do written a la hora Sula
but ask them and tell them if they want Allah and His messenger.
What does he ask you know, and they want the pleasure of the Akela
for in Allaha
Eid de Lille, Agha Lin
I believe of sanity men could not run alima
alongside the disease, but tell them
if you desire to have the messenger
and you desire to have accurate
that allows for HANA data promises
Katie Ward from allows
greater reward from Allah.
So what does this mean? What is what is Allah doing to the whys of the process of giving him a choice. That is you decide.
You make a decision. You want to get divorced from Hamas, Allah, he'll give you a gift constellated a gift.
And you're free to choose.
As Burnett could give you if you want.
But if you want to remain with Rasulullah sallallahu taala. And you want to have the benefits of the ACA, if you want to,
I'd love to be pleased with you. You want the Messenger of Allah and you want to download
then the good ones
for them allows handler a greeting.
So when the Nabi sallallahu Sallam quoted this,
to Ayesha de la Ilana,
what did you say to her? Don't be hasty to give me an answer.
First speak to your father and your mother.
And then you come back. Let's go south.
So she said,
Why was it
so important? Parents are so important, please.
What did Allah say? Who must you consult first? Speak to your parents first.
Not to your mother first. Not your father. wovoka profitsystem didn't say to
speak to your father boubakeur? No.
Although Baka would have been enough to speak.
I mean, he was the greatest man next to the prophets of Allah.
He said speak to your parents.
So she said Dad, so Lola was asked what period I've already chosen you and I have chosen Allah and I've chosen.
That's what I want. So what did she choose? She chose to be married to the Nabi sallallahu wasallam, despite the fact So, it's also a lesson for the wives of the Prophet and seller and I said the same answer was given by all the wives.
So, this is
example of what happened to the Navy so Salah
why so that we can know what to do under these circumstances. So what is the allama say? What do we gather from this? If
we get it from this area?
what is called the widow talaq or Tanaka taquito. Wu Tang with beans,
to give something over to somebody else. Now, there are two issues. There are two things that we have. We have rights.
All of us have rights. We have political rights, we have rights. As husbands we have rights as fathers we have rights as citizens of a country with lots of rights. That can't be taken away from our right cannot be taken away from me. Then we have powers, powers are given to us.
And taken away from us. So if you stand for parliament and you get voted in, you are given that you are given the power to represent the people of the country, not the right. Because if it's the right thing, this can never be taken away from you.
So, a husband has the right to divorce his wife is a primary, right? Nobody but nobody can take that right away from him.
He always asked,
and he has a unilateral right to divorce his wife.
a heavy responsibility. It's a heavy right?
But in this verse, they're all MRSA and year. Imam, Abu Mr. Malik Imam, Abu hanifa Imam Shafi, any nominee hammer agrees to the interpretation. And people who agree to this interpretation, Mr. And Mr. Bahari and all the great scholars, and Abdullah Venus hold all these great scholars
agree that this year refers to a follow up
the Delhi cated power has been exchanged the power of divorce. So you What do you been given by Allah, Allah, Allah says to the wives of the Prophet, you divorce him,
you decide whether you want heinola.
So now, because we don't receive revelation anymore, and this was particularly to the navicent, Allah, Allah, Allah may have agreed that the wife has a right to put into her marriage contract
that the husband will say, Ah, yeah, by give
the power of divorce to my wife, and it can stay under what sex or the wife can say, under what circumstances she wants to have, for example, she can say, I can't stop you from marrying a second wife.
But if you do not have a second wife, and I'm not happy about it, there was no consultation with me. And I'm just unhappy about it.
Then she couldn't pronounce divorce upon herself. Otherwise she can't she can go to whatever organization they'll say, pity you know, your your wife, your husband can marry a second wife, there's nothing you can do the last one, it gives you the right. But if she has a contract that she can put on, she then would pronounce divorce upon herself, she would say I divorce myself from you.
And that he was
very Mama sherfield. He is a HELOC, which can be revoked. So now the woman says, not happy, she cries.
I divorce you.
So what happens now,
in that period, they can decide to get back together again, wife May after one week or two weeks or a month, because internodal takes about three months for three months, two cycles, she may decide, you know, I can't live without him. So
can it be withdrawn? Yes, it can be withdrawn what the agreement of both parties.
So both husband and wife s to D. Normally, it is a real husband, it says I take you back. But in this case, both husband and wife must say yes, we agree we want to be back with each other.
But she cannot demand that he leave the second.
She must do if she's devoted to take the official divorce A second way you can say No, I am not going to agree to to take your toddler back.
this can also be given this power for the wife to divorce itself can also be unconditional love, you can say
whenever you wish to in the marriage, I give you the right I give you the power to pronounce the voice upon yourself. As they don't want you says I pronounced divorce upon myself. It's better to do this. I would say to first consult your parents.
If your parents are out there, you probably big woman can decide for yourself what you want in life. And in many other reasons that you may be. If he abuses you, he beats you.
or whatever else he may do we just, you know
makes your life miserable.
Because I've gone through so many cases where there's so much abuse and I say it's always it's from both sides, but maybe mostly so much abuse from the from the husband or the wife is no recourse because otherwise it's a good husband. It gives her a guy gives it her house it gives them money for food because everything but somehow, you know, the bank is very strained and welcome
Go anywhere and nobody wants to, to, to help or to, to save the marriage one verb to be, to be free and to, to live a life without anxiety and without
displeasure in your life. So here, this can also be given
during the marriage,
you want to leave the marriage,
I give you the right, I'm not going to give you a divorce, because I'll be out of the marriage. But if you're out of the marriage, I give you the right, you can pronounce the voice upon yourself.
And normally, when that happens in Japanese law, I quit cases where I was when I said to him,
Look, you know, you can cheat on working out you can see that you you know, you're sleeping in different rooms, you know, things are very bad children are affected. Why don't you just because the husband hasn't excuses, yada yada, I don't want to give a divorce. Because, you know, I don't understand why I love the FBI man be punished for that. People think that this is
divorces, hello, Allah, someone could punish you for divorce your wife? Yes, he's gonna punish you if you lose your wife, because you had been very bad, bad, bad person. In many respects, He will punish you for the bad things you did. But to divorce your wife this company.
Also, then a lot of this a horrible guitar is allowed in Islam.
So now husband says yes, I don't under the burden of walking around with a divorce.
If you don't want to tell your wife, she can pronounce divorce upon herself, when she put it in writing, to get the time by itself and what this is when she gives him a copy of.
So what does it mean? It means and this is only one of the things that you can write into your contract.
And if a man says now, but I don't want that in the contract with him, but why not?
You're never gonna divorce me, you're gonna treat me very well. You're gonna look after me, you're going to love me. So I'll never have to do that. But like my car.
If an accident happens, I'm
so particular, and this is given my home from a mama shaft, or some fatwa victim. This is
But when you come to me, when I say do this, what do you say to me? Oh, no show, maybe he's gonna change his mind. And if he doesn't want to turn it in me, don't let him know. But why can't you not marry him? Because you've been singing for the last couple of years. And now you, you'd rather leave your parents in the VM
is the problem.
And you better support from your parents. How we say, you know, we say that at 18 year old girls out into the world to go find a husband.
Because parents don't do their job.
And I know there's a problem. The problem is whatever you ever you're going to recommend that you're going to take.
But it's not like that.
You should at least try to find somebody for your son, or find somebody for your note. People can just say yes or no.
They say yes particle offic. They say no.
Doesn't mean to be remember, it's always you can't force love. And people think they can do this. They think they could God was somebody for five years, they can force him in many ways to make them love
But even so even if it's about love,
you must have a contract
with when he married his daughter,
Fatima sister Ali.
He said to me I one of the things which I want, which is the verbal contract of contract.
He said I don't want you to marry a second wife while he married father.
And he said Why? He said because she's the dearest to me.
And that will hurt her.
Now this brothers and sisters is not just about adding second, there's a lot of other things you could write a lot of conditions you can think of where you can just get unconditionally Also, I'm just mentioning the one thing that maybe is nice is having a contract. So inshallah next week we will continue and I think that you could
you could send messages via as my head is pointed out to you on the WhatsApp which is sent and inshallah I will try and answer this question. So inshallah, we will go
Continue next week with the sort of thickening the following week we'll give part two of this in sha Allah Allah Allah. wa salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa Taala.