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Tap into your potential – 20.06.2013

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Edris Khamissa

Channel: Edris Khamissa

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Episode Transcript

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Welcome to reduce time international and Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah cast our guest for the visa visa.

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vie de casa de la vaca. Nice to hear from you again today, how are you keeping is unbelievable. Alhamdulillah I'm so Allah, we cannot thank Allah for all His mercies. Can you believe Allah spoke to you a week ago, it seems only like yesterday, like yesterday and humbling

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for me, you know, the weeks, when days passed so fast that was just the other day my wife was saying, Just Just the other day, I'm asking you what you're going to cook for tomorrow. And then he has your back all over again, always unbelievable, a time frame is just never enough, it is very, is a very, very big hype around your program that you are going to be delivering in Johannesburg

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is going to be on the first day the sixth of March. So that's this weekend.

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And unleashing your potential

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is a little bit of a bit of an outline of what you're going to be discussing and what the PMC on

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the

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program itself will be led by myself and the subtler concepts that Lacan and it's about really, it's about helping people to go through a personal journey. Everyone comes they're all human beings including myself, every human being carries with him some baggage of sorts, you know, and sometimes the psychological barrier barriers that sabotage you do not allow you to release your potential. And what we do basically is we do with discuss unleashing a potential, we look at redefining or what is success, and then we look at, for example, the most to your different emotions like guilt, fear, and how you need to deal with those fears. Then we also look at really taking ownership of your life.

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And the whole idea inshallah is by the time and people leave is a to hold a workshop, they have, they will have a better understanding about who they are, and a better understanding of the future. And the whole exercise culminates is something that I regard as wonderful.

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Every person sitting there on a step by step approach, would develop in in a mission statement. And that mission statement would encompass all aspects of his life, in a company's life as a father, as a child, as a committee member, be part of the oma to Nabi sallallahu, wasallam. And even in his workplace, so it is all encompassing. And what it does is basically, it really makes you look at all of those things and asking yourself, what am I doing every day, in fulfilling at that particular objective? To what extent Am I making a difference? And it's about, you know, in the end, many people, for example, would blame society would blame the parents, and so on and so forth. And here,

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it's an opportunity to take ownership of your life. The other critical aspect is something that I find impacts on lots of people. And Mullen, I also like to ask you this question. You know, if someone monona with to be harsh, and rude to you, and say things that are not true about you? How would you deal with the mana? You mean directly? No, no, you don't know me? Maybe directly, maybe, you know, in any way whatsoever. And you and you are aware of it? The why I'm asking this question is because I find lots of people, you know, find it difficult to handle those kinds of things. I mean, I was listening this morning to Milan a brain bomb and Mona Robert and a sister phone. She

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says that what do you do to get bored so easily? And parents get depressed whenever they have a challenge.

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And so how would you

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know it's a very interesting question these days, but

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if somebody's saying something about me or somebody is being very rude or harsh

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in life, normally, this is my approach is that I

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would try and ignore it. That's what I normally do, I try and ignore it as far as I can, and try and save it.

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As long as nobody. If it doesn't spread out to five wide and it doesn't become an issue and it doesn't

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make me or the public doesn't start believing it, then I try and ignore it completely.

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If it is, is really paid and if that person is being very malicious, then I would try and go up to the person and ask them very politely about the reason why they are going to spark my wife idea doing this thing.

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Okay, she Mulana I'm glad that you're responding that way. And what is worse is sometimes when people that impute an intention on your part, and when they do not know you, my response basically is similar to your response. I mean, someone does this to me. My approach basically is we are humans. After all, we do get hurt. Some people can be so malicious, insidious, but then I move on very, very quickly. Because if someone is guttural, someone is malicious, someone who is vulgar in his approach, I will not respond to that way and I recall you know, the one example of a Tabitha been I think it was I'm not too sure the name when the his fault was there with him. And someone was

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very, very rude to him, and you know, and guttural but yet he was so kind. And you are so polite to him, that he even he was asked as Kristen what why are you so polite to him? Look at him. When the look at his the answer his answer said in my heart, I have kindness. That's all I can show. He needs heart. He has all of this. That's all he can show. So I can only show you what I have. He can only show me what he has. And that's a very important thing because I find that many people, many, many people suffer for other people's inadequacies. And they speculate about their behavior. In the end, if Allah inshallah is pleased with us, and he knows why we do what we do. Of course, none of us is

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perfect. That is enough. And yes, they are hamdulillah there is a sister who shared with me, this beautiful response by Nabi sallallahu, wasallam Ministry of Nabi sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for Indian said, you know, Allah, if you are pleased with me, the song I need, if you are pleased with me,

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you know, that's the most important thing. I think people must learn, inshallah, to please align that way the humanity we please. But if you want to please humanity, I don't know, please Allah, no human being would be pleased. And this is a whole part of what you and I discuss, is the one of the biggest issues today is managing relationships. How do you manage relationships? How do you deal with another person's anger? How do you deal with someone's a fabrication and lies? How do you deal with the cost of mongering, and that's a real challenge. But the important thing is this, the best way, the most effective way I've come across is to ignore it. But also take your point.

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When this becomes part of a public discourse, and you I think you need to maybe if the situation demands it, if people confront you with it. And you can either say, I mean, you know, what is this? Is he saying all of those things, and May Allah forgive you, and I, there's nothing for me to respond, because people truly know you will defend you. But the other important thing is this, that when you try sometimes to defend yourself, then you people might erroneously believe that you're blowing your own trumpet, for example. So my tell you monana you know, you are the least charitable person I've come across you I find your you know, your cutoff, your least charitable. Right? And,

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you know, in your hearts of hearts, maybe the number of families you're helping people who are feeding or people come to your home, what their concerns how you respond, how you may be sacrificing your own family. Then when you start speaking about that, you know, you know, while it may be a revelation for others, but it could be also going on dangerous ground. So, for me, the way I like it, and I'm, and I'm very comfortable with it is you know, I remember years ago, years ago

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I remember when I was at a particular school, and I might have shared this with the listeners, I went to a school to the 1979. I think it was I was teaching English at the School of 1980 rather, and I went to the school. The I just went there towards the end of the first term, I was a teacher of English. And our cities are nine English and I had to serve relief in the metric class. And the teacher that was the acting head of department was absent. So the pupils asked me said Mr. Cammisa, what subject you teach. I said, I teach English. And he said, Could you discuss the book Great Expectations by Charles Dickens. So I gave I delivered a lesson. And unbeknownst to me, the kids

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went to the office. And they told the principal, Mr. So and so we want the new teacher, Mr. Cammisa to be our teacher of English, we do not want the other person. Now what happened? The principal and the other person were very, very close friends. And immediately, I could make out there was some kind of tension right? The hours on the spotlight and the next day or so, the headmaster came to listen to my lesson. I remember this so clearly. And actually why I'm sharing this. He came to my class, and I was teaching the book, Othello. And I recall that that time I was wearing a khaki suit, can you believe it is a khaki suit, and I was enjoying the lesson. And the principal credit to him,

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he said to me, no, he was very impressive. The lesson in the the two things he mentioned, he said, I walked too much in the classes I'm teaching. So after telling, jokingly, I want to give a moving lesson.

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And the other is actually back to one side of the board. Anyway, I left it at that. But what happened? Men, the head of department got wind of the fact that these pupils want to meet the teacher of English, they he began to be very, very harsh with me to a point in which I remember, and I used to hate your lips. That time, I didn't have a car. And I went home, I was thinking my flat on my own my mum and dad, my brothers in shifts in and I started crying. You know, I was I was at since the first and I said but you know, I'm not here to gain fame or whatever. I did not ask the pupils to go away. Then I shared this with a friend of mine. This is what I'm coming to I shared this with

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a friend of mine. And I said to him, you know, tomorrow when I go back to the school, I am going to really be very formal with the set of departments. I'm going to do this and the other. He said please do not do this is how we share with you something my father gave me before he passed away. So what is it it was a small little article about a something that took place. And that article I read has since informed me about my behavior towards people that are guttural people, that we have other agendas, people who infused intentions, people who do character assassination, I let them be. And this this incident was very poignant for me. And it impacted on right there you said was he was a

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young man or a young, youngish man. He used to go to the shop every day. And I think I shared this with listeners. He used to go to the shop every day. And he tells the person Good Morning Sir, may I have the newspaper please and thank you are very polite. And so it's been a accompany him for about two or three days in succession. And his friend told him, You know what, I be coming to you with you to this person, the shop. That man is so sudden,

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he doesn't greet your back, eh, you are so polite to him. But look at the response of this man. He said well, that men mustn't tell me how I should behave towards him.

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He must not tell me how I should behave towards him. And this is the crux of it. I think you know, if you and I even I see you and I I mean, the listeners if he can understand that we must not personalize every interaction. We must look for excuses why certain people behave the way they behave. When people talk to me that way in the gutter. I never go to that level. In fact, I make dua for them. I pray for them. I forgive them. And that's a relief and you got to move on in life. Otherwise you're gonna have a victim mentality. And especially when you have a public profile, you stop being things that he's supposed to be doing purely because you own a piece people

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it's your website www.sceeto.com

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For years long now broadcast worldwide by the internet

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website, www dot Radio islam.co.

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And this is the whole thing, if you and I can understand that you find our relationships to be better, Tom, and a whole range of things would take place. Oh, yes, definitely. Do we have a question that has come via Twitter? Sister says

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girls in our locality are very upset about something called Gossip Girl on Facebook. It puts up gossip and pictures

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of teenage of these teenage girls is destroying reputations. How do I console these girls? I get calls almost every day can't be ignored. I always say nobody needs it. But many people here to what happens when they want to get married? their reputation is in tatters?

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Yes, you know, Milena, I can understand what they're saying. Whilst there are some benefits in the social networking. The social networking is also used by people who have dirt in the heart, who have low self esteem, who often, you know, reflect that in our society, that we have some people who behave in a manner that is not in keeping with not about only being a Muslim is about being a decent human being, where they tarnish the reputation of people, the smear, the name, the humiliate them, and this kind of thing is a profound negative impact. And what is worth, the others will look at it, they now begin to look at them with different eyes, I really believe, number one, that something has

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to be done with this vehicle to find out who's the culprit. And if it even means taking the method to the police station, reporting them because such people cannot go on to do such things with impunity, especially when it comes to our beloved daughters, our sisters whose reputation is intact, but somewhat solid, because of the actions of one individual or group of individuals who have nothing to do except to ridicule others and tarnish the reputation. There's one thing, the other thing that needs to be done is this, such as these girls needed to go for some kind of therapy, they need to help to talk about it. And remember this also, you find that was the pain is greatest. Now,

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you got to also ask yourself, that if I'm going to take a drastic action, and you become as now a part of the public discourse, is it going to make it easy or difficult, you need to look at the consequences of it. But those people listening to us on the radio station must understand that in life, you got to behave responsibly, you remember, the you know, you call it a digital footprint, you can never erase it, because it remains a digital footprint is there to posterity. So what is important is to call this goes together, try to find out who it is. And those parents that are involved. Who know the aminos children are involved. They need to be counseled also, and perhaps we

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need to go on a campaign nationally, so that there isn't a recurrence of such thing even for example, and there's been a, you know, a mix it in the mix it kind of

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you know, less profile of people like almost seeing the or the following people, you know, lustful, whatever whatever it is. Those kinds of lists also have been going around. So I think they require therapy understanding, but I think whoever is the culprit, I think, you know, depending on the family, they want to do things a drastic action, or perhaps the person removes it and apologizes on Facebook, on Facebook, that this was really a janitor of an idle mind after being mischievious and the persons that they refer to all of them are people with impeccable reputation and you apologize profusely for it. If you really hate the issue in Amarillo as well.

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You know with

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this person posing on Facebook as Gossip Girl and you know that

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At the end, we found out who the person was, it was really somebody who needed emotional help, I won't go further, you know, in order to,

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not exclusively again, add, but it was really somebody who needed emotional help, they needed support, they needed some sort of,

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you know, the

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somebody to have them somebody to talk to.

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She's crying out for help. And the surprising thing that in ermelo, the person posing as casa, was actually a point

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is that the whole point, people, these are the these agenda pent up, you know, these the sense of bravado, you have to be a girl, you are an old woman, whatever it is, you can be that person. But at the same token, we also need to acknowledge the many individuals who use social networking, to uplift the oma to respond to people's needs. I mean, I'm talking about for example, I don't know if you know, this nanny Ma,

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you know, I think she's a she does an excellent job. And it takes a lot of time and energy. And Firstly, I'm too busy to respond to everything on Facebook, whenever I can. I try to do that. And, and these are important things. It's about in the end, I think, you know, re engaging with our children, reconnecting with them, that so that they will understand the power of conversation, the power of face to face discussion, the power of negotiation, and these important imperatives for people deliver, you know, looking at this, this is one of the harms that somebody does anonymously, and it affects so many people just the other day, reading in the news article in news 24. See that,

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approaching a forts, the planes, and the pilots are faced with given laser lights from people standing on the crowns shiny into the pilots eyes, which causes temporary blindness. Many pilots have experienced temporary blindness already. The one pilot says they could only name the plane with the navigation system because they couldn't see the runway after the person shine the green laser light into the eyes, how malicious and how low can a human go

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manana. I must concede that nothing, nothing shocks me. Nothing shocks me. I remember years ago, we now split school, when I heard about something happened, you know, someone did this. If a girl eloped, what device to cry, I should cry so much. I used to cry so much. And it took me a long, long time for me to recover from it. You know, even though they're not related to me, in that sense, this be part of the same fate. But the whole thing is, nothing shocks me. Nothing. When I hear the kind of issues and problems that people speak about. Nothing shocks me. And this is a sad thing. But yet, for some reason, we move on with the charity facade, that everything is fine, everything is fine.

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And it's about us. It's about cleaning our hearts, having pure intentions and connecting with Allah and His Beloved. So that will make a huge difference to where we are, the way we think and the way we do things. Because there is also this feeling, you know, almost as if you live forever, but you know, we are mortal beings, and we are going to die. inshallah we pray that all of us, including those that,

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you know, are guttural are those that behave in ways that would really, you know, make an animal look more human than us? May Allah forgive all of them? And these, this is the crux of it. The crux of it is, are you a person that brings joy to others? Are you a person that uplifts others? Are you a person, you know, stubbornly clings to some attitude? Are you a person that when people look at you, they don't move far away from you. And these are some fundamentals because it is about human relationships.

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It is a better system on the line from kwazulu Natal Santa Monica De La Cucina. I just like to say that he commits I think it's attainable. It's something you have to work at, once you link yourself to that spirituality and that forgiveness

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can come into your heart and to overlook

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It's totally conjecture, something that's not attainable

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is so correct. When you're close to Allah, forgiveness, it comes very quickly to you, when you close to align his beloved Ross, so it's almost an automatic response to this, when you're not close to Allah and His beloved Ross, so he would harbor this for the rest of your life, you never want to forgive. And in fact, you It's for you, it's for that he did it to me, I'm gonna do it to him

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is how people respond, and an important thing in life also, even if people are harsh towards you, they may be saying something that might be in all the stuff they said to you, they may be he 1.5% of it may fully apply to you.

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Ignore that 99.5 but look at the

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point 5.5 will help you to become a better and decent human being

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connecting ourselves with Allah and inshallah these things will come like it is by

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you your program is about unleashing your potential one, one question that just came to my mind just before we started the program, was that, do you ever have cases where people can a Mona Lisa, do you ever have cases where people have Hamdulillah, you've helped them you assist them to unleash the potential now, they've sort of come out of the shell, they become confident they become strong emotions, and now they abuse this new strength that they find them be the Civic No, I'm kidding. Confident I am somebody with a high self esteem. And now, now these are the, you know, abusing that sort of strength that they've received

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is a very interesting point that you raise, but you find when a person becomes confident, and when his self esteem as improved, you find one of the abiding qualities of a person with a healthy self esteem is his humility and generosity of spirit.

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I've seen when people were arrogant, or standoffish, condescending, those people really do not unleash the potential. They are really people with low self esteem, and they almost like control freaks. And you find that one of the things about unleashing your potential, you really find that the new vistas open the new horizons, you begin it's about really discovering yourself. It's about discovering who you are. years ago, years ago, I remember the lyrics of a song, it is about an ego, there was a young boy who took the egg of an eagle and replaced it in a foul pin. So when the Eagles hatched this little Eagle it was amongst all the fouls, scratching the ground, and did all kinds of

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things very uncomfortable for the poor ego remain like that and grew very, very old. And one day it looked up in the sky, there are two versions to this world one day looked up in the sky. And it saw a beautiful bird, a flying majestically a bee You know, he like it belonged to the sky, massive bird beautiful lady so gracefully.

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And he looked up there. And he said, I wish I could fly. This is the whole point. The point is, is that Eagle was born to fly. But it remained with people who did not help it to understand who it is the fowl, the chicken, they meant to do things that are true to what Allah

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Allah. So similarly, it's about us discovering our true self, looking discovering at our true self, and knowing I know many people monana when you speak about success, I asked them immediately it's about a person who's got a fancy car or a fancy house, and a lot of money. In fact, a person sweeping the streets can be more successful than the king. He thought about what you own is about who you are, it's about your character. So answering a question is basically that when people whose potential is unleash who could come out from a situation of adversity, and you find that throughout the world, they often the most charitable people, people will not forget where they come from.

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Engage humanity. We want to do projects to help others, please the kind of selflessness. I recall in again, in 1979 80, I remember many of my students, there was a young girl in my class at that time. And she was very shy. And I used to encourage them to participate in my class lessons to take part, I said, share your feelings. What do you feel? What's your opinion? And, and I tried my very best to do that. The next year, I got a shock of my life. She got up, she put their hands up in the Cammisa. I disagree with you. So, you know, I enacted laughing, I was so happy, you know, because she never did that before. And she wrote me a letter in the creative writing, he said, as a company. So I hope

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I did not shock you. But thank you so much for encouraging us to speak. Today was the first day I spoke. And, you know, I felt almost like a person was in prison, who is released from that prison.

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You know, so these things are important. Because many people today are like spectators in their own life. Life is not what they do. But life is what happens to them. And that's the difference. It's about the power of intentionality, The Power of Now, the power of really saved yourself, and understanding that I have one day in, in one life I have, and the only life I have, and I need to do something so that people will remember me for who I am. It was by

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this issue of

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publicly calling people names and causing issues causing problems. I know a few weeks ago, I asked you about the same question as well, if I put you in

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a bit louder, please.

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Say last last week as well. A few weeks back, I think I asked you about what do you do in the case when people are speaking bad about you? And I think it happens all the time. It happened in the time of Sahaba de Lyon home.

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No, it happens with the beloved Dylan with the young boy when the hypocrisy. Do you know he said something against Rasulullah Sparkman and he denied it completely Allah tala revealing is obviously the days of washi and revelation are over. Yet Allah subhanaw taala somehow or the other brings out the truth. And I remember when Heidi in which abubaker delanco he was sitting with Ursula sama.

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And these people who were speaking about Abubakar Zilla, who are criticizing him and swearing at him, right in front of him, and Alberto de la who kept quiet. And then avacado de la who finally replied them with something and maybe sell a mahadi some turned away and asked him why, why what was wrong? And now viswasam said to him a bit as long as you get quiet, Allah subhanaw taala had assigned an angel to defend you. But as soon as you started replying, that Angel was returned to Allah subhanho wa Taala. And you are left on your own? Yes, I remember that. Very, very powerful. Thanks for reminding, you know, it's very, very powerful.

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And Dino monana. This is the whole point. The whole point is this, as you and I mentioned now, for one week to the other three week with the time but in the process, I think was time you know, the burqa is gone. I think if we genuinely authentically respond to people with our hearts open, is what they see is what they get may not the conniving conspiring person Alhamdulillah. And I think also what also helps monana is to have good opinion of people. I mean, the right you know, I mean, if you look at Vvi, Chow, they tried to Sally and tarnish her own reputation. And this happens to the best of us is a test from Allah. And rarely, as you rightly indicated, if he respond appropriately, who

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knows, allow law to assign an angel for us. And I think this are some fundamentals we need to learn. It's about, you know, it's about us not justifying what we are doing. He don't say much, you know, it's easy for them to talk, but this man did this. To me that meant it's not the point. The point is this. People that are essentially, were able to handle the emotions, who are forgiving, can adapt to any particular environment. And therefore I'm encouraging rarely and Allah bless you for talking about this workshop this weekend. There is a huge demand for it for Friday and Saturday. And we have we have also reduced them

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rates, it's 600 pounds for people, but 500 pounds for a teacher students and NGOs and inshallah I look forward to meet the people there. So that inshallah we will together as a collective we can learn, because one of the things beautiful parts of life, I mean, I have learned greatly from my own students.

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You learn all the time, and when there is an openness to learn from other people, but no one has a monopoly of knowledge. You have to do research and you share insights your you learn from your fellow presenters and others. And the last like Sophia Moosa was one of the CO presenters in Durban, she did an excellent, excellent job, and woman can identify with the challenges she went through, and yet now she's healing people. And it's about that time I mean, today at this very moment, I mean time is such that we are in the queue not know when we're going to die, we could die at this very moment. So it's not through the radio stations, we need to uplift people, make them aware of what

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they are and what the purpose is,

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is by some parting words of advice in Shama, okay. My parting words of advice is this, that if for some reason, you cannot make it for the program, inshallah, I'm looking forward to maybe doing snippets of it when I'm there in Asia, you know, four to three hours at a time to help those that for some reason cannot make it my own advice to people is this that I want you today. Have an honest look at yourself. confront yourself, you know, your strengths, you know, in the dark of the night when you're sleeping, you know, what is it about you the others do not know, reach out to Allah, you walk towards him, Allah run towards you, before it is too late. If you want to have some kind of

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relief, forgive those who have hurt you.

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And even those others who are to forgiveness, Grant forgiveness to them.

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Consciously live your life every day. Believe in yourself. Unleash your potential, connect with your families, connect with people around you, so that when you die, they will be moved by your loss and they'll pray for you. The other important thing is this something that I feel very concerned about was at a particular school yesterday I sent a note out, I said that sociologists psychologists education and Lucious leaders are very, very concerned that parents pay little or no part in the lives of the children. And I said we have partners, and a habit that Ana visa rousillon inculcated It was a fourth Ayat of the Quran is to read, if you can inculcate this habit in your children,

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because reading parents begin reading children, you'll be giving them a life skill that inshallah will inform their life will open their mind would fit imitate the majority would, for example, help them to develop a linguistic competence, which they would also facilitate the understanding of the world. And reading is like a portable universe. So please, that is focused on reading inshallah. And my dua is with every one, every individual. Remember, Allah is God for me, please, there are too many problems that have been setting our communities, to many families that have issues at least consciously get your family around you. So that ask them exactly what they feel about you. That is

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the observation might help you to become a better human being

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congealing and we'll speak to you next week in sha Allah. Allah salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa sallam

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from Chennai. He sat on this Thursday morning as well as Alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh