Ebrahim Bham – Protecting our Children from challenges

Ebrahim Bham
AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the challenges of parenting children, including older ones and removal of culture. They stress the importance of active parenting and show respect for parents' behavior and behaviors. The speakers emphasize the need for parents to communicate with children and share information about events, including a disturbing incident involving a man named CO. They also emphasize the importance of protecting children from the "ire of Jaaneman" and setting limits. The speakers stress the need for love and affirmation for children to be successful in learning and grow up, and emphasize the importance of protecting children from the "fire of Jaaneman."
AI: Transcript ©
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was the that was salam ala Mala via bada bada foldover leisure dinner shaytani R rajim Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem.

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Ei your lady Robin oppo and pusaka Mwah Holy Quran surah Allah,

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media respected scholars, elders and brothers. We begin by placing Almighty Allah subhanho wa Taala sending salutations upon our beloved Maria Karim sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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Brothers, we are living in a world which has various challenges and among the challenges, the one that we have the greatest fear about his death about our children, our young people, our youth, and many times people do speak about this and we know what is happening in the world.

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And there is no doubt Firstly, to say that children are great joy, what is our life without our children, but together with a joy, the very great responsibility, our beloved, maybe I can instill Allahu alayhi wa sallam loved children and especially he loved his own children. And more importantly, he loved his grandchildren. I was reading a book recently. And that book was about as an assembler, the Allahu Taala animals was written by Ali Salovey. And in this book, it is said that the time of Marwan the governor of Medina, one day he came to Abu Huraira the Allahu Turon, when he said Abu Huraira Why do you show so much regard to Hassan, Hassan and Hussein when I'm the governor

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of Medina, so Abu Huraira really allowed and was relaxing. And he got up and he said, Marwan

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don't ever

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criticize me what we got to that. Let me tell you why I love Hassan and we'll say, he said one day we were traveling in a journey. And Hassan Hassan and Hussein were crying. And wo Karim salsa went into the temple of Fatima and said, Why are my grandchildren crying? And they said, she said, I can't do anything about it because they are overwhelmed by thirst and there is no water.

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So you said Marwan Do you know what the Prophet of Allah did? He say he put Hassan and Hussein on his lap, and he took out his tongue,

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and he told them to suck his tongue.

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Now Allah knows when it was a miracle that Allah Tala made water come from them, or was it only for them to suck his tongue to be able to set the eight taters

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and he said because of that they kept quiet. This is how the reoccurring saucer dealt with

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one day a person came up to came to the vehicle Mr. Slim and he saw the vehicle you saw slum hugging his grandchildren. And he said I got 10 children I never hugged them. And they'll be a cream Salah when he was 11 said What must I do if and that Allah has taken mercy out of your heart.

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So my brothers, they are great joy. But together with that they are very great responsibility. And today were the challenges of the age the responsibility is increased. We all know the challenges of atheism, LGBTQ gender, and identity crisis. While I would like to believe I'm always an optimist, I do believe that our children, our youth compared to children of other groups, and other faith groups Alhamdulillah still better off and Hamdulillah we still find our children becoming offers. We still see our children coming to the magic. We still see our children having love for the deen, we have natural increases. But on the other hand, there are many who are still succumbing to some of the

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pressures. Some of them have doubts with regard to the religion. Sometimes they have these doubts and they're unable to express it. And this results in an epidemic of confusion, split personality arguments, and sometimes rebellions in the home. Now, how do we deal with one of these particular type of situations? You know, the first thing I would like to tell people is that we need to step into the role of active parenting.

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You know, many years back I saw a book in one of the book shops and I bought it in I found the title to be very, very interesting. Parenting isn't for cowards, especially in today's type. Parenting isn't for cowards, we can take a laid back approach, perhaps the way our parents did it 4050 years ago, they used to say children must be seen and not heard. And they had a particular method where the children used to know the places and they knew the limitations things are not like that. So parenting isn't for cowards. We need to step into the role of active parenting. We all want our children to become pious we want our children to be right. Yes, we want our children to be

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beneficial to us. We want them to be good in character good in conduct, but it's not going to happen just easily is going to require a monumental

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It effort from our side to be able to bring them according to those particular ways that we want them to be. And I think it's important that we understand that. So let me give you full a few points with regard to, you know, how do we get our children to become pious? How do we get our children to stay away from the fitness of age, to stay away from the challenges of the age? Firstly, I would like to say something that many times we don't pay much attention to is the mere cream sauce Slim is said in a hadith which appears in console or mirth. Respect your parents so the children your children can respect you. Be chaste and morally upright in your wife's will be morally upright and

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chaste. There is always an aspect of the way you are the way you you saw that how you will read the way you are that comes back to you, you show respect to your parents, your children will show respect to you. If you don't show respect to your parents, it could very likely turn out the two children who show respect. And there are many examples of that which Allah Allah has given. Whenever I'm on zoo Romani in one of his books, right? He said, I want to know about a situation where in one of the villages in India, someone was beating up his parents. But you see, the whole village came to see what was happening, but the parent himself was saying nothing. So the people of the village also

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didn't say anything. And he came to a particular stage he came to a particular place and then the parents said, Oh, my child enough don't beat me more anymore. It's the people of the village said that why do you carry on even we give you made you made a beat you and you only came to this particular place and then you told him stop.

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He said, I also beat my parents after this stage.

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I also hit him here on the stage, and I knew one day is going to happen to me. So then when I came here, I said oh my oh my son enough stop. I want to beat beat my parents only after this and at this particular stage with respect your parents and your children can respect you. You respect your parents, your children will inshallah will become rightly as one of the first steps. The second important point that we must understand is to understand the responsibility of parenting. Many times we don't understand the responsibility of parenting. The BA crimson Allahu alayhi wa sallam said in a hadith, when Allah Tala gives authority

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to a person with regard to something he Panatela gives you authority over your children or maybe give you an authority as you know a politician or whatever, and you do not look and care for those people who are under your authority, you will not even smell the fragrance of Gillette. So, understand the responsibility of being a parent. Now, many times you and I we do understand the responsibility of being a parent to the extent that we all know that we have to provide for the financial needs and the material needs of our children. Everyone knows that we have to buy them clothes, we have to put them in school we have to pay the school fees, each and everything of that

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we know but what about the spiritual need which is as if not more important? Allah Tala so beautifully has made mention of this in the Holy Quran. And he has given us such a remarkable type of understanding and understanding of our responsibility in this regard. We're Salah was started on a lattice Alucard is ba na na. Kumar command your family to perform salat, and you also remain steadfast upon it. We don't ask you for the risk, nothing will notice. We will provide for them through you. We will use you to provide your children our children, but what

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you see to it that you tell them to perform salary. We don't ask you for the rest we will provide for them. And now we'll use the parents to provide for them. But at the end of the day, we must keep in mind that and now we'll use the parents to provide for the rest of the children. But as far as spirituality is concerned, Allah Allah tells us definitively you command your children to perform Salah and what is the greatest thing that we want with regard to our children to preserve the Iman there is nothing greater for us than to preserve the demand of our children and my dear respected brothers, we can never put a price we can never put a financial value with regard to Imam Imam is

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more valuable than any type of material value that there is any type of money. Allah Tala in the Holy Quran has made mention of a very amazing incident I'm going to show you the Hydra Jacobo mode will you present with the aquamarine salatu salam was on the throes and just about to die and you know, leave this world I'm going to where you present and why does it matter? Allah uses this Allah Tala uses this metaphor to bring the importance of the lesson Allah is about to give us the cuddly bunny Mata Boon everybody. And he told unto his children who are you going to worship after me? And sometimes I want to just to think about this mighty respectable others.

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In the nibio of Allah, as Dr. Coblenz said it was salam, whose father is heartily salat wa salam and Nebby and Prophet of Allah, whose grandfather is the primary salat wa salam, a prophet of Almighty Allah, who is unconvincing, smiling, so that was a prophet of Almighty Allah and amongst his children, he says it Yusuf Alayhi Salatu was Salam is another view of Allah. And what is he telling? And what is he asking his children? Who are you going to worship after me? You? And I would say, Surely our children are not supposed to know who they're supposed to worship? Don't they read the Kalama? Allah, Allah and Allah Muhammad?

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Why are you asking them such a question? But for him, the greatest concern was the amount of his children.

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And then when they said not to do he now has

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his heart wider. Oh, my father, don't worry, you will worship the Lord of yours. And the Lord of our forefathers, our illustrious forefathers, Ibrahim always, always hammer in

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the one Allah, we're not gonna We're mostly born and we will die as Muslims. You can imagine if that was his greatest concern, when you heard that answer, what must be what Versafine satisfaction?

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Do we have the same concern with regard to the man of our children? Perhaps today, you know, they see this humorous incident a person was on his deathbed and he said three children so you said Mohammed, we are you Mohammed.

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Ibrahim, Ibrahim, where are you? But I didn't came? He smiled. Where are you starting? Okay. So afterwards, he said, If all three of you are using the business,

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who is in the business we presented is our concern. So the first thing my restructure brothers understand the importance of preserving the image of our children. The second important thing that I would like to make mention of is communicate with our children. We need to communicate with our children. Where do we learn this aspect with regard to communication? We learned it from Abu Dhabi or the father of the Gambia, it was that was salam has that he brought him and he said that was Salaam. Allah subhanho wa Taala has been mentioned with regard to it. And remember the time when Ebro Himalayan Surat was salam

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Yagura year in the era of in Manam, a knee as Zuma that recall the time in the primary salat wa salam Tula to Ismail for my son I'm seen in a dream that I am slaughtering you, tell me what is your opinion

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and just look at the just look at the remarkable aspect of this. He's asking his son I've seen in a dream I'm slaughtering you, he had no doubt with regard to carrying it out. But he made his son Ismail part of the good deed he made he communicated with him he spoke to him about it. He told him that I've seen the tree What is your opinion today we will perhaps think that too as opinion of our children would be something that is against parents or authorities No it's not. He made him part of the booty

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mentioned is made and of course we see the Quran that in this you know we see in the Quran Allah Tala has made mentioned with color look man or lemony he and recall the time when he look man told unto his son, yah, yah, whole ruku Oh, my son, oh, my son, oh, my son, do this, do this. With Mr. Tell us. And this is in the historical books that he said. Initially, he was not obedient to Allah. By Look, man, constantly speaking to him, he became obedient to communicate with your children, speak to them about good, even if sometimes they might turn a blind eye, or at least maybe not a blind eye or blind here, or they don't listen. But at least what it is speak to them. We need to be

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speaking to them. We make we give when a child is born, what we do, we read and we give the exam in the year, they might not even understand it. But why do we do it? We do eat at the name of Allah Tala, the greatness of Anakin, certainly in the arts. So in a similar manner, continue speaking to your children communicate with them. We all know the pressures of you know, the what we call peer pressure. Now, in this particular regard with peer pressure, you know, nowadays we sometimes make a joke with regard to it. They say one of the spouses was, you know, they had an argument. So they had an argument in the house, and one of the spouses decided, you know, that I'm going to give the other

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spouse silent treatment. I'm not going to speak to the other spouse for the whole week, thinking that that would be a means of punishment. But you see how sometimes it happens. They they look at things differently from what you are looking at it. So one spouse look at different from the other spouse, and after a week, the other spouse said, it seems we getting along quite well nowadays.

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It seems to be getting along quite well nowadays. But now I'm seeing communicate, we heard about the aspect of peer pressure. What is peer pressure? Peer pressure is society's pressure, the pressure of the friends, for you to become part of the group to do what is trendy, even if it is wrong.

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And just remember peer pressure is not only something that is upon our youngsters.

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One remarkable incident about peer pressure will give you and it was about someone who was mature. Not only mature elderly in age when the Vietnamese Arsalan came to his uncle Abu Talib. Oh, my uncle say one time, the Kalama Allah, Allah is Allah in my ear, I will intercede on your behalf on the day of gamma. And I will tell Allah, my uncle who supported me, despite the fact that he wasn't a Muslim, but he supported me against the oppression of the operation. He didn't allow them to, you know, to oppress me to for whatever reason, maybe on the basis of family, maybe on the basis of tribe. He didn't allow them to pro oppress him. He was with me. Now he's on his deathbed. And, oh,

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my uncle say one time they can remind me here, even if you don't have to say it loud, say it one time.

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And I will intercede with you on the Day of gamma. Did my uncle read the Kalama before he passed away? And Abuja he was saying, Abuja had told him, tell him for the fear of your nephews, Jahannam Are you going to leave the religion of your forefathers?

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I will tell you for the fear of your nephews, Jahannam Are you going to leave the religion of your forefathers, and I will tell you, it didn't take the

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pressure from his peers at an age when he was so elderly in age matured, someone who did so much. So peer pressure, if it can impact upon someone, can you imagine the impact it can have upon our children. Don't underestimate peer pressure. And one of the things I always tell people don't underestimate the challenges our children are going through

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you and I we lived perhaps in a time, which was perhaps much more innocent than what we are in today, they are living in an age where the press of a button the worst type of immortality, they can access without even you knowing anything about it as a parent.

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So, understand the challenges of the age understand what they are going through. And someone has beautifully said that you know, if you got you know, 10 digits in a mobile phone number and you send him some money 083 So, so so so and you must one number out, you will never get through to the person whom you are trying to get through. In a similar manner with our children understand the pressures they're going to understand the pressures. We lived in an age sometimes perhaps they be at that particular time. You know,

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the parents had a you know, very they had a very high bar with regard to the children. We need to understand the pressures. We need to understand where they are going through some of the fitness they are going through some of the temptations they are going through. I was in Uzbekistan, when when was the last time someone told us nearby here is a couple of buyers it was Tommy. And one incident of biofuel Buscemi Rahmatullah. They came to mind. By us it was Tommy's father passed away when he was young. The mother sent him to one study. So one day he ended, but three times when he came back to come and visit, his mother knocked at the door. And the mother said, Who is it?

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And he said, by his hip,

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and she was alone, she was a woman staying alone. And she said, which buys it? I don't know anybody. I see.

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The buyers here. I know, I sent him to go and study and I told him not to come back until he completed his studies.

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By us, it got the message he went away. Which parent today's take and do that. Which parent can do that? Maybe perhaps we need to lower the bar, but we need to understand the pressures down. And one of the things that I always tell people, my dear respect for others, give your children confidence. Give them love. Those children who've got confidence, those children who got love those children who got kindness from the parents, they will be better suited to be able to face the temptation of peer pressure. Those who don't have confidence. Those who don't get love from the parents, those who don't get kindness from the parents.

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show tremendous amount of love. I give you the example of our beloved baby a cream sauce them giving love to his grandchildren. Shoulder love to your children for 30 Min. Allah He lives. It is a mercy of Almighty Allah subhanho wa Taala that the prophet of Almighty Allah was tiny. And because of the kindness the people loved him, the people flocked around him. If you are harsh, then subsuming holy people don't come around you. If you are tied to your children, they would love you, they will come closer to you. I'm not saying they mustn't be discipline, but show them kindness.

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Children, even if they give an impression of being independent, they crave for affirmation and validation and love.

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Don't you see many times you will find it in a family gathering. You got children and all of a sudden one of the children will throw a tantrum.

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And why will he

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You don't have a tantrum. And the amount of children who are out in the cousins are all there in the child will throw a tantrum.

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child psychologists tell us that the child sometimes would like to be noticed, even as a naughty child, even as someone who is Throwing tantrum, then to be ignored as a good child.

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If it was sitting silently, no one would have taken account of him. So he's sitting amongst his cousins, no one is paying attention to him. His parents are not showing attentive, paying attention to him, throws a tantrum. Now, because of the tantrum, everyone is now turning towards him. A child needs the type of loving affirmation and validation. Sometimes he needs to generate validation. Even if he has to throw a tantrum. Don't ever let it be that the child must get

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outside the house, from someone who will mislead him. Someone who out of will give him the love that he is craving for it is deprived from at home. And then he must get it from someone who must lead him.

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And sometimes that must leaving can take various forms, it can take the form of

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opposite gender, and sometimes it can take the form of the same gender. So don't ever let it be that the child is deprived of love. So this is something that we all have to keep in mind. Children need constant love and affirmation, even if they're doing wrong.

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You can show and say this, what you are doing is wrong, but you don't ever keep them away. You never rebuke, and you never rebel and keep them away completely. See the Upper Peninsula to Salem, New his children, they were the cause of the disappearance of Yusuf Alayhi Salatu, salam,

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for several Angeline What did he say, I know somebody is better. Well, Allah will who will stand Allah will help. But even after that he didn't take them out of his house, he kept a look with him.

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He kept with them.

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And then after 40 years, they were to go in and make mentioned with regard to the fact that they were they were behind the disappearance of Lucifer in Saratoga. So we never ever, even if we show that we know that they are wrong, we will tell them they're wrong, but we will keep the Toluca will keep the communication open with them. And there are various parenting styles in this short period of time, I don't have the time to be able to discuss all of them. There are different parenting styles, you know, so many times you and I may be the people who are elderly, we might think that the authoritarian way, my way or the highway, we say, children must listen to us. You know, we think

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that that is the best might not necessarily be the best. If parents are authoritarian, the child becomes fearful of making mistakes, starts lying for the fear of being punished, feels insecure. And then he does things that are wrong behind the parents back. And many times the way they said that the last people to know about what the parent or child is doing is the parents. So that is not perhaps the best way, some of the ways that we could perhaps consider is the right balance between nurturing and setting limits. You know, it is frightening for a child to grow up without limits. And no one will ever recommend that. And we don't ever recommend that a child must ever grow up without

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limits. Children are like budding plants, the way you nurture budding budding plants. That's a way you nurture children.

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And you keep them away from the elements, you still try and keep them away from the challenges you speak to them about the challenges to speak to them, you communicate. So you set limits, and perhaps within that limits, now's the time you like to negotiate with your children, okay, you want to do this, this is the limit with regard to it within this limit to allow you to do something, but you have to show me that you are, you are going to show me that I have the trust I've given you that you will fulfill the trust that I'm giving you. Sometimes you have to set limits, and you know, nurture them, and give them limits and let them allow them to work within that limit and oversee those

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limits. But this is just one of the examples that I've given you. And one of the examples that we have to give with regard to this is be a good role model. I can't overemphasize this aspect, be a good role model to your children. There was a survey done recently in the United States of America, you know, who do Who would you like to be your role model?

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In a you know, in a society like that, which we would regard not to be right, yes. 81% of the respondents said we want our parents to be our role model.

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You know, don't ever make your children you know, be disappointed with you in terms of your moral conduct. Be a good role model to your children they look after, and they look upon the children. Of course in the short time we can speak about everything with regard to parenting I've just giving you a few tips. And Natalia in the Holy Quran has made mention of a very amazing and a very, you know, important I attend verse yeah literacies Yeah, you already know Harmon, who and full circle

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On all you who believe save yourself and your family members from the fire of

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Allah sometimes going to look at this if they think yeah Allah, save your children from the fire of Jana.

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The fuel of that fire is

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stones, rocks and human beings, that fire of jaaneman will become even more fierce by more human beings thrown into it and rocks thrown into it. Now, this give you a hypothetical example. It may never ever happen to anyone.

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One day you come home and you see that in your particular neighborhood is a fire is a fire raging? And you say no, it must be someone there maybe the fell fire. Maybe it is the trash that has been thrown in this fire there. And then you come near you seems quite close to your home. Now you're starting to get worried. When you come here, you see react to your home, and you're worried you got three children and you've got your wife and you come there and you're wondering what's going to happen to my channel when you come close? The police stop you say no, this is my house, they allow you to go through you go through if you see your two children on the pavements, they are safe, you

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see your wife and you see the third child

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and you see your child somewhere in the house. We want to do to decide what will you do? You will put all you will put your life at risk to be able to save your child I know I will do that we will do

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it irrespective whether this hypothetical example we are literally never ever, ever let it happen to anyone. But in that same urgency required

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to bring up our children in such a manner

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that they don't become those that go to jail.

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Go and

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save yourself and your family members from Jana. That is our responsibility as parents in our responsibilities of community. May Allah give us a trophy for fulfilling that responsibility.

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