How Can I Stop Someone From Sinning Q&A

Nouman Ali Khan

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Channel: Nouman Ali Khan

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We are

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too preachy with our family,

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we start becoming a sativa. Speaker to our families, and they get annoyed, and you make the problem worse, instead of making things better, you end up making them worse. Sometimes the best way to deal with our family is the most indirect path.

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I'm going to start with a couple of common ones, where do I? Where do I start helping? So someone who was in the wrong path setting, not praying, not listening to anyone?

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So I mean, this is a very common question. Some of you have these questions about your family members, some of you have them about your friends and other situations. A couple of important pointers here, number one, the prophets lie Selim was not given any authority to change his own uncle. And the Quran is full of prophets who were not able to make bring change to their loved ones, right? So know how they said, um, couldn't change his wife. And, you know, Ibrahim Ali Salam couldn't change his father and yopu valleys and uncle to change his sons, and so on and so forth. Right? So the reason that's given to us is because you're not, you're not given the authority or the

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ability to change someone else. What you are given the ability to do is to remind someone else, then the question becomes, what's the most effective way you can remind someone, and my opinion on that is that

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we are

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too preachy with our family.

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We started becoming a sativa. Speaker to our families, and they get annoyed, and you make the problem worse, instead of making things better, you end up making them worse. Sometimes the best way to deal with our family is the most indirect path. Because otherwise, I remember when I wasn't into Islam, if my family member, some family members of mine tried to tell me about prayer, or this or that, I would just get annoyed. Like, why are you telling me right? Sometimes they want to listen, and you know, there's, it's in the Quran Welaka dotnet Lokmanya hikma and one of the Lohana would advise his son, but Allah says, Well, who is evil who is really interesting, it means he found the

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right time to advise him. Like he didn't just always advise him, he saw a particular moment where he thought the strategically really good time to bring this up right now. But what we do is like, constantly, every day, every time you just become like, Oh, my God, here comes the shut er, police, you know, and then people just in the family start associating you with the annoying Islamic one that is going to ruin everybody else's party. Right? So my advice on that would be be as indirect and as subtle and as gentle as possible. The other thing I would say is sometimes people are doing sinful things like drugs, alcohol, gambling, whatever they're doing. But there's the sin and then

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there's the cause of the sin. And the cause of the sin isn't as simple as Oh, they're following the footsteps of shaytaan. Or they're, they're mimicking the kuffaar. And that's a hold on. When did they start drinking? Oh, they started drinking a year ago. Well, what happened a year ago? I don't know, why don't you know you're a family member, that you don't know what happened a year ago, people don't just go towards the sins easily shaitan uses some problem in their life or some event in their life, and takes advantage of that. And then the worst was have become stronger. Right. So you have to become a little more aware of what's happening in the life of the person you're trying

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to help. And instead of the conversation, being about them not praying, or them not following the religion, maybe the conversation would be more about helping them heal from what happened. And because that's the root problem. And if they see you, as someone who's just trying to preach to them and convert them to a better Muslim or something, that you don't really care about them, you just want to make sure they follow what you want them to follow. So they don't see you as someone who means well for them, they see you as someone who's trying to be controlling and kind of righteous, self righteous, because you're better and they're they're worse so they're trying you're trying to

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make them you know better. So you're coming looking at looking down at them. But actually, you know, the notion in the Quran familia team our that Falletta Karwan Messiah Illa forgotten her. Right so the orphan that the the one who asks, don't talk down to them, somebody's in pain, somebody who's drinking alcohol is in pain. They're trying to drown away from their pain of something. What is that thing? And you have to find some creative ways to get there. You'll young radio I won't mention names here, of course. So you came up to me and said how do I how do I talk to

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My dad he doesn't he's the he stopped praying or this or that. Well, maybe we should ask. Are you old? Dad? What was it like when you were a kid?

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What was it like? Like, did you did you get to trouble a mom or dad a lot?

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And if your dad might say, What are you trying to do? You're trying to convert me? Like no, no, I'm just curious what was what was grandpa? Like? What was your life like? A lot of times our parents or these family members, nobody's shown interest in who they were, or who they are or some of their most precious memories. You know, what maybe the first the first barrier that you break with someone is empathy, like you actually are interested in them, not their behavior them, you care about them. And you know what that quality is called? That's called Rafa. Rafa, and the name a person who has that quality is called a woof woof and that's one of the names of the prophets of Allah how to use

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an anvil mini Nara often Rahim, if you want to be a wolf to someone, as one of the qualities of the prophets lie to them, but we should actually be a little more empathetic. And then instead of just going straight for the kill, why don't you pray.

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There is a lot more that's going on in somebody's life that led them to not pray. So let's be a little more sensitive towards that. I hope you guys enjoyed that video clip. My team and I have been working tirelessly to try to create as many resources for Muslims to give them first steps in understanding the Quran all the way to the point where they can have a deep, profound understanding of the Quran. We are students of the Quran ourselves. And we want you to be students of the Quran alongside us. Join us for this journey on Vienna tv.com Where 1000s of hours of work have already been put in and don't be intimidated. It's step by step by step so you can make learning the Quran a

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