Challenges in contemporary parenting
Channel: Ebrahim Bham
File Size: 21.74MB
Episode Transcript ©
Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate and at times crude. We are considering building a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system. No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.
Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala Mala
Amar Ruffalo, Villa emunah shaytani R rajim Bismillah, your Walkman Iraqi
set up Allah will ask him my dear respected elders and brothers.
One of the greatest challenges
that is facing Muslim families Muslim communities through throughout the world today is that of parenting and that of our children.
The fitness and the trials that are engulfing our children is something that everyone who has
the welfare of the community and society at heart is worried about. There is no doubt that children are very great joy. Allah has made them the sweetness of our life alive in the Holy Quran in surah Kahf which we are supposed to read on the day of Friday. Allah Tala says a man who will balloon Xena to higher dunya that wealth and our children are the adornments of our life. They are the beauties of our life. Zenit means adornments, the adornment of our life. There is no doubt that they are there. But together with that there are great responsibility.
To subsidiary empty Han Musa Monaco him who have played burper choke impoverished, Kibera man
or hero Karthika 10 But check Rihanna Whoa, buddy Johanna wore a
cushy, cushy cube I said like you know who she Casazza but is it Medallia? They are very great responsibility. And we find out from the Quran and Hadith that when the MBR LIMU salat wa salam make dua to Almighty Allah Allah Tala. For children. They always ask Allah Tala for pious right yes, children
as a revival, a sunnah to a salami to rip Hubballi been a solid in Oh Allah grant me a pious child. Silver chocolate one achy, they can need but chicken. They made dua for buyers, right? Yes, children. Now one of the things is that we can know that children do not just become pious on their own. For SAE Nick, also heated up said neotel Niyati, or nickname they can do and it was clear. I'm a man that can never die. They don't just become naked. They don't this become right, yes, they don't just become pious, we need to make great amount of effort upon them. Upon the development upon the 30th. On keep average to Turkey would enable them so that they can become make. Today, the world
is facing the challenges of atheism and LGBTQ. And the responsibility of parents has increased.
The world has been swamped. With a tidal wave of atheism, and liberal lifestyle. It has become such a situation that we have a gender crisis, who would have thought that you would have any gender crisis no matter what type of problems we had in the past, it was taken for granted. If anyone comes in tell you that this particular child or this particular, you know,
a couple has got a male child, you are lucky blue clones. And anyone who's got a female female child, when you give pink clothes, it was taken for granted. Nowadays, it's very difficult to do that also. Now if you do it, they say you have made an identity choice, you are not supposed to make the choice, the child is supposed to make the choice.
That child which according to the law, it cannot be held liable for anything it does to the age of 80. But now all of a sudden, it's got that particular type of authority, that it can make a decision whether it is a boy or girl when where the world is going into. So all of this has made the responsibility of parents so much more greater. So much more important. Today, we all sometimes I always like to think like that. You know that we do see that Alhamdulillah Islam is growing phase progress of Islam, and there is great amount of potential for Islam to grow. I firmly believe that in many ways. Our children today know more about Islam.
The children 3040 years ago, in our age when we were the late 60s When we were 789 years, we didn't see two people reading as much salad as we see today. I see my family, even the young children, all of them are eating salad they are so conscious about salad. So we do have that particular type of on one end, interrupts the year que Bucha 201, the mass per Nicoline on Kojonup
tele tutor is an equal opportunity FRSA or Batavian umbrella. But together with that, there is also a reality that our Muslim children in our societies in the Western countries and in countries like South Africa are succumbing to the pressures of the propaganda. Some openly renounced Islam. Whereas other people develop doubts and misunderstandings about the religions. They see compromises between Islam and what is popular and develop a certain degree of confusion, split their personalities, arguments, rebellions, which are happening in homes. All of that requires parents to become active parents is up to Hannover fitness. Chioggia said, Yeah, my bad banana article he assigned me here.
He boosted local company here. Yeah, him Metallica come today to become a better we have to become an active parent and to become a parent. It is not for cowards. It is for people who have fortitude, who have the necessary courage to become parents in the true sense of the word. That is a goal of the time. It's a monumental task, what will still come, they can smell it again, NSA and
Inshallah, Allah will make it happen. Allah will give us you know, success. It is not something that will happen overnight. As Amelia can care how many but Chaco Canyon will grant me
one neighbor to Kenya woman today I told my children they not listening. It's not going to happen like that. We need perseverance, we need to be added all the time, we need to be constantly telling them we need to be able to build up communication,
a relationship of trust and communication for us to do it. But we have to do it there is no other alternative. We need to be speaking to them. Sometimes they will listen, sometimes they will not listen. Yes, we need to find the right time to be speaking to them, but we have to do it. See when a child is born, every one every Muslim parent, no matter what they hold particular intonation is, they will see to it that you must read the as on the right here and the camera to the left here. Sometimes you will call them on how to do it. Sometimes you as a parent will do it. Sometimes you will get an elder of the family to do it, you will do it. Although the child doesn't understand the
other although they don't understand it but while you're doing some cool content and I was on chapter
20 Academy Amazon
dark a war Allah can now say man who's so they become familiar with the name of Allah with the importance of Allah. Now if we can do that with small children, why can we do it when our children are being when they need it more. So this is some of the things that we have to keep in mind and we have to be continuously doing it. So some of the things that we have to keep in mind just as parents will provide for the material needs of our children. We have to provide for the proper upbringing, therapy and spiritual development and the piety and the righteousness of our children. This tacit Mahbub semester they cannot rely on the Toki Peroni stamina yeah ma Marie similary is a battery
it is our responsibility and ultra says what is Salah was the command your family members to perform Salah who also performed Salah Muro older the Combi salah, command your chairman to perform Salah to the age of seven, discipline them they don't perform at the age of 10 this is something that we have to keep in mind. And in this particular regard.
Just few tips, we don't have much time. I think in this short time I will just give you tips from the Quran and Hadith from experience what we are supposed to do with regard to parenting. What is the things that we have to keep in mind Chinggis Amina will save up to Sunday paste that out subset Allah we must understand our responsibility. Amara Zima daddy karma I'm so much Natalia the reoccurring sauce let's say
each and every one of you is a shepherd
You will be asked about those people who are under your authority. Allah.
Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah Bucha, who's the modality about me? And no one asked you about the responsibility I gave you children. What did you do with regard to that authority? And what did you do with regards to that responsibility? Set up SIBO hurricane rewired, what an amazing rewired, maybe acronym SOS limited. If Allah Tala gave someone authority over another person, and he does not fulfill that responsibility, he does not take care of that responsibility. He will not smell the fragrance of chakra disco like analyse modality or on the balcony, or Janet, key Ray, or our comedian.
He won't be able to even smell the fragrance of chakra. So live our responsibility. If we don't fulfill that responsibility. According to this study, we will not be able to smell the fragrance of Jannah first thing that we would like to make mention of communication, communication communication.
Is that speak to your children. Nowadays, the only communication high debt high debt is only computation we have to come into the home it goes into the room you don't hear about them. They don't speak to you, you don't speak to them. What is this? Make them part of your conversation. Make them part of decision making. Make them part of your good deeds as the primary salatu salam ma secara that when Allah Tala told him to slow days finally syrup was salam. Don't SMA K chakra neighbor choke is crucial letter Nakia Carmen ka
ma Bucha Ismail many apne what may you data?
I'm Tony spiralis. Oh, my son. I saw in a dream that I'm sacrificing you. What is your opinion? He made it part of the decision. He made him part of the good deeds. Or maybe we certainly take our children with us in our decision. We need to be illustrative in that regard, up never took a setback. As a monolith salat wa salam T was here, or monkey, Nazir apne beta co Kurama, modular in Surah Laquan. But in this particular regard, we find that it is mentioned that his son initially was not obedient. We'll say hereafter operator record would kill the car.
He was not on the right path. But because of constantly making mentioned constantly giving me advice, he became a poor diet. So this is one of the aspects that we have to keep in mind. Communication may be a part of your decision. Continuously speak to them. Listen to them. When they come say what was your challenges in the school? What is what they told you that? What do you think about what they told you? What is your opinion about it? Constantly speak, but don't shout at them. Don't scold them.
Understand them, give them good advice, communicate with them in an effective manner. The second thing is kindness, love and compassion. I can't overemphasize this. Today is not the time for you to say that the children must be beaten up we're not going to get it right in place time to be able to be even that also the way it was in the previous time Allah Tala knows that we agree so allow yourself never looked at his hands, either upon his wife or his children.
No report in the books of Hadith of the reoccurring sauce is entered upon each other, or all his wives. They need to be disciplined, but I will make mention with regard. But firstly, timeliness. Love and compassion should be the way we approach our children. Children need love. They need information, they need validation, even if they apparently show themselves as independent for liners when they did the pet of the day. They need information. They need validation, especially when they become young. Yes, they might show that we are very free. We want to do whatever we want. affirm them, validate them, speak to them with love, speak to them with you know, confession, it will make
a very, very different. Now of course there's different challenges with regard to children who are small and children who are big, you know, you will find a child would rather be notice, be naughty, then be ignored. As a good child, Whatsoever you will find it particularly if you don't look after them. When they have a lot of children, you will find the decry Whoa. Why? Because they feel that the parents gave more attention to their child. All of a sudden you pick up a tantrum, why they want to be recognized. You are ignoring them because visitors came and all of a sudden they throw tantrums. Why? Because no one is paying attention to them when they allow you to pay attention to
them. When guests come visitors come you're not paying attention. You will see the drop a tantrum
why they need to be recognized. So sometimes they like to be recognized, while throwing tantrums tend not to recognize when they are good children. So this is a reality. And the more a child gets love and affirmation, the more it will be able to save itself from peer pressure. And peer pressure is the greatest challenge those Toki with acid wrote,
to what goes to keep it more simple.
So this is something that we have to keep in mind. parenting styles are many, I don't have the time to make mention of the parenting style, but one of the things that I will make mention, if parents are authoritarian,
both Samantha mom can take a bus hamari bus channel child, only we must do we must do whatever we say. Sometimes it looks very good in theory, but whenever you will become an authoritarian, the child becomes fearful of making mistakes, and starts speaking lies for fear of being punished and feels insecure. I made mention of this once so many one or two parents, I made mention of a sinner in a radio program, many of them made Metamora we never thought about it, but we realized it a child breaks a cup to see butterfingers. Now, you might have seen it in a particular way just that particular child every time it catches a
plate or a spoon or something, it will always feel insecure.
It will not grow up with confidence. We need to be aware with regard to this. So in this the best way with regard to it is nurturing and setting limits, you make them appear but to set limits, you set limits and give them the options within those particular limits that they must not go beyond the limits. It is frightening that we say it is frightening. For a child to grow up without limits, I will never say that you must allow a child to grow up without any limits. A society cannot function without limits. You can help anyone driving, although nowadays everyone drives the way they want. No one worries about traffic rules for when a row, people driving without limits. If everyone doesn't
stop on the stop street doesn't stop at the traffic lights, which we in South Africa call robots. And other countries. They laugh at us when we call it robots. They say the first place is the only place in the world that we call traffic lights, robots get into Africa, they laugh at us. But if you don't have some sort of boundaries and limits, there will be chaos. The same thing with regard to our children. If there is no limits, it will be chaos for them. We need to be able to guide the behavior. We need to be able to set limits, we need to be able to say this is something that I will be a little bit in a certain degree of accommodation. Beyond this, I'm not going to allow us to find
alternatives. I can't overemphasize this. Children are more active than what elders are. Now they got energy, they put enthusiasm. You can expect them they say that spirit oh my god to you know, sit at home and only make sicker. First of all who don't Mexican way they could have Mexican. So you can't expect them only to Mexican, Mr. Merrick Quran all the time, you need to find suitable alternatives for them to expend the energy. We need to find them, put them in something that is good, put them in superb sports, put them in something that is good for them. expend the energy find alternatives for them. Otherwise, if they don't find alternatives, if good things are gonna go in
there things may be occurring. So some thoughts about alternatives, whether we are going into Allahu alayhi wa sallam, you know, he came to Madina Munawwara What did he find? He found in the people were having celebration. He found that people were having a celebration. So the filtering saw some didn't see they don't celebrate who Shalimar
Every nation has a day of celebration, hump bickering, he found an alternative, what was the alternative
to push them and push
themselves no matter
they can push through and he is properly. Amara amaretto Bucha or Elan. So even with regard to the children to take this particular notion, no, we don't need to keep providing any entertainment, find suitable entertainer entertainment, get good friends for them. And something that I never thought that I will make mention.
Once upon a time I read this one very prominent author. But today I'm going to make mention of is an emphasis. Islam forbids preferential treatment between boys and girls.
Maybe a cream salsa one day when someone gave a boy a gift and didn't kill his daughter's. reoccurring social self.
Fear a lie and be fair with all your children. And he wants to do this
causing them to be a witness that is also going to become a witness for something that is wrong. But it's a gross misinterpretation that you don't have preferential treatment between the two, that Islam favors a unisex word. Men and women have different roles in life. And our sons and daughters, I must emphasize this, from small must be taught with regard to play their respective roles.
If we are not going to do that, it might end up disastrously. We don't have preferential treatment, but we need to tell our boys and girls that both of you people have different roles which Allah Tala has allotted for you.
So that maybe through that they will be able to save themselves from the from the fitness office, gender and identity crisis. We have to show them that is a different role for boys and girls. While we don't show any words regard to spirit in this particular regard, after the last year we'll make mentioned by the two hours of the parents is very important. The influence of the parents is very important. Children. They imitate the parents,
mom, but children will Citra correct afternoon
and Nicaragua. Many acronyms Allahu alayhi wa sallam said three peoples was always accepted. One is the dua of the parents for the child. I always like to end off with this beautiful example. A letter in the Quran theater, save yourself and your family members from the fire.
Do you know what it means? It means you have to have the same urgency to save them from the fire of jahannam. The way you have the emergent urgency. If you see a fire and they are falling.
clearly see our small children and we put a gas heater and a small child is going to the gas heater everyone becomes excited. And I give you an example. One day you're going to be driving home and you see confer there is smoke coming out from one particular area. You see it must be somewhere in the area. We never think it's the owner when you come closing seats in my area. Now all of a sudden you're afraid is it my house you come closer it looks exactly the place where your house is.
And then you see it is your house. What is your fear
may be weakest then all of a sudden you go and you see two or three of your children what three children two of them are there.
what is not the Ashanti at that time what is your anxiety What will you do you will come into the house to try and find a way that the child is that anxiety is less my dear respected brothers the fire of Jana
could now Johanna Masha
the fire of journalists even more greater
to something to our children.
That is our responsibility. Therefore let them go and
save yourself and your family members from the fire fire of Jana Marie cemetery. If we regard it as our responsibility Allah will make it easy