The Muslim DNA 02

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Daood Butt

Channel: Daood Butt

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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I'm just gonna pull out a few important points on the next few pages so that we could start the family. Okay.

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So we're on page number 35

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where it says striving against one's desires making firm our resolve

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this part in sha Allah, you can just read on your own

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because it's straightforward and we would just be reading from it anyways in the class. Okay.

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So we move to page 38,

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page 38 in the second third paragraph.

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In fact, let's take it from the top of the page, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said the struggler is the one who strives against his soul or his self, in obedience to a law.

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Now a person who, who struggles

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is a person who's actually struggling with themselves. That's true struggle. That's true, fighting, right? To deal with our own selves. And so Fianna thodi said, I never dealt with anything stronger against me than my own self. It was one time with me and one time against me, shows us the importance of working on our own selves again. And then the third paragraph, which is a paragraph I wanted to read to you. Yeah. And while that was he says, fight against your own self, or your soul, with the Four Swords of training, eat little, sleep little, speak little, and be patient when people harm you. Did you get that?

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Eat little,

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sleep little, speak little. and be patient when people harm you. We do the complete opposite of these four things. We eat a lot. We sleep a lot. We speak loads, and when people harm us, we set out to harm them back. Right? So we do the opposite of what we're supposed to be doing in order to condition our own selves. Okay, it's time that we start doing that. Now, don't try and apply all four of these in your life right away. Start with one, start by fixing your eating or start by fixing your sleep. or start by controlling the way that you speak and what you say. Okay, and then move from there to the next step.

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Holding on to and adhering to divine guidance on Islam and even taymiyah said fitna or trials tribulations destruction on land do not occur except when the commandments of a law are neglected. He has commanded us to adhere to the truth, the Huck and enjoined us with Subbu we are supposed to be patient with what comes to us as well. And fitness occurs either when the truth is neglected or when patience is neglected. Okay, stick on. It is harder to hold on to the truth. This is not in your notes, it is harder to hold on to the truth, for example, for a job or an being good to family, fulfilling ties of kinship, etc. than it is to stay away from home. Does that make sense? It is

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harder to hold on to the truth than it is to stay away from home,

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going to a bar sinning etc. But staying away from sin and good will become easier. So when a person stays away from the home, the good starts to become easier. So that's just a little tip for you and shout Allahu to Allah so that we can try and push forward with certain things in our lives, we move on to the self resisting the dunya, which we've touched upon, quite often.

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Resist resisting the dunya page number 40

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Okay, on page number 40, you see verses from soda to Zuma, if you go down to verse number 21, Allah Subhana, Allah says, Have you not considered that God sends down water from the sky guides it along to form springs on earth, and then it brings forth vegetation of various colors, which later withers turns yellow before your eyes and is crumbled to dust. And his comment, there is truly a reminder in this for those who have understanding, resisting the dunya that's an example of how certain things in our lives look absolutely beautiful. You got something or the crops start to grow. You see that? You know, the The rain is coming this year, there's no drought. Is there a drought this year?

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Still is

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as severe as it was two years ago? No, not as severe. Right? Remember, a couple years ago, even last year was pretty bad, right? So there might still be a drought, but not as bad, right? When the crops start to grow, everyone gets happy, they start to see the nice produce the nice fruits and vegetables, etc. And somehow, you're blessed here in South Africa, because there's so much like your earth, your soil is like gold, your fruits and vegetables tastes so much different than the fruits and vegetables from the rest of the world. Right? You could taste the freshness in it. So panela most of what we get is frozen from other parts of the world. And by the time it reaches us, there's

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no flavor left in it. Right? So and hamdulillah. That's a blessing that you have. But as time goes on, those crops start to dwindle away. And you know, the rain starts to diminish and the seasons start to change. And what we consider to be wealth no longer is there. Similarly in our lives, you get this brand new phone.

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What's the last iPhone that came out the seven? Or the eight? Eight? There was an iPhone eight.

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Was there. Eight?

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Eight is out now.

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So the eight just came out now.

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What kind of nonsense is this? They make life so difficult for us. It's unbelievable. So Pamela,

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Samsung makes it a lot easier, I think. But anyways, so you have the new iPhone eight for example. Right? And you just finished having the seven what seven was the top model? Seven s or something? Right? You had this beautiful phone? Absolutely amazing. The iPhone eight came out. You're like, shoo, right? That's what they say in Durban right. They'll say shoe. Anything you say to my shoe shoe. Like, I think shoe like the flies are on the on a shoe the fly. Right? Right. And Subhanallah you see this new phone, you're impressed by it? You want it? You need it. You don't need it. You just really want it. Right. But you tell yourself you convince yourself that you need it, but you

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really don't. And then you're thinking, you know what, what's the point of waiting for the new iPhone x, when it comes out? It's pretty much the same as the age women's will get the aid. It's gonna be cheaper, you know, whatever. And then as soon as the 10 comes out, and you see a friend has it, or you're sitting in a mall or the restaurant or something, you see someone at the other table playing with it in their phone in their hand. You're like, awesome, Pamela. That's just beautiful. I need that. And you just want it. And the new iPhone eight that you just got no longer looks impressive, even though it's like the best phone in the market, apparently, according to Apple

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people, but who cares, right? So some kind of law. It's one of the best things out there. But we still don't consider it to be a value because there's something that is apparently better. The dunya is like that. When we resist the dunya we can tell you know, there's a game being played here. What's the game? Just yesterday I saw someone sent me this article. It's been proven apparently iPhone intentionally slows down their phones as the years go on, so that customers are forced to buy the new ones. Right? And what did I see? Brothers in our group because we're in a group, you know, the brothers who's saying, like, Yeah, but on iPhones and iPhone. I'm like, you know that this thing

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is wrong, you know that it's intentionally made to slow down on you, yet you still want to buy it and support this product. Why? And that's just the way we are. We can't resist the dunya Okay, so Allah Subhana Allah gave us that example there in verse number 21. Using time to one's best advantage, the importance of Time, time is a blessing from Allah subhana wa Tada. It's so important to us that inshallah we recite surah to Lhasa because we want to finish our solar so quickly, because we're so busy and we need time to go and do everything else. Not realizing sooner to Lhasa is a surah where Allah is taking an oath by time while also

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In insane LFC hosts are very human beings, we are in a state of loss. Why? Because we don't realize the importance of time.

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Time is so important to us. We can never gain or receive in return the time that we've lost. Can any one of you experienced Saturday morning again? Today this Saturday?

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No, none of us can anyone go back and take the actions back things that we may have done that we regret? Can we go back in time and take them back? No, we can't do that. It's gone. It's lost forever. What we can do is change the future for us. We can live it a better way than the way we lived it this morning.

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Okay, so time is a blessing from Allah subhana wa tada the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, there are two things or two blessings that many people lose health and free time. We take advantage of our health and our free time and we don't realize it once it's gone. That's when we wake up. We lost our health. We lost our time. The advice of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam with regards to time, I just want to focus on the five things that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to take advantage of before we lose them, what are they take advantage of five before five? What are they?

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Health

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before sickness.

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Youth, before your old age.

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Sorry, someone over there.

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We said we said health.

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Wealth before extreme wealth. Poverty, right. Number four.

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Life before death. And lastly,

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free time youth before old age, right? Those are the five. We mentioned five things all of them have to do with time, including money. If you want to gain money, you need to work you need to dedicate time you need to dedicate energy you need to dedicate your youth, your your life, all of it has to do with time our entire life is time and there's a guarantee in life, that life will end.

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So that guarantee is important for us. We are only running out of time. This is why I don't understand why people celebrate birthdays. For me at birthdays. Like one of the most depressing days of my life. My mom always calls me She's like, Yeah, dude. It's your birthday. And I'm like, Yeah, I know, Mom, thanks for reminding me. I'm getting older. You know,

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we're getting older. And I know people like to be happy and celebrate, which is you know, everyone's got their own thing. But personally, I always look at it as what did I do in the past year?

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A lot of the time if you think of it on your birthday, what can you identify as achievements that you've set for yourself and you've actually achieved goals that you achieved in the past year. Many of us can't even count

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because we are not prioritizing our lives.

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We move to page number 43 mastering sincerity is loss classes to free yourself completely from everything other than Allah subhanho wa Taala if lost, submit to Allah subhana wa Tada. Okay. Sincerity is to complete actions, whether they be internal or external, desiring the pleasure of Allah subhanho wa Taala alone. I only want the pleasure of Allah from this if something else comes from it great.

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Right, that's good. You get something in this dunya you get something in the Acura great, but the goal is to only get the pleasure of Allah subhanho wa Taala. And we see examples in the Quran as well as in the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam,

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all in the Salatu you know, Suki Rama Rama Mati lillahi, Rabbil alameen. Benefits of EClass Allah Subhana Allah shows us in the Quran in surah, Yusuf EClass protects one from falling into sin and disobedience

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when use of Allah has sent him

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was locked in the room. And Allah shows us how tightly The door was locked was unlocked cotton above.

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He could have given in, he could have done whatever was about to go on in that room.

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But he knew deep down that even though we're concealed within this room, and the doors are locked, that a loss of how

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Who attalla is aware

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and he calls out my other law. Returning to Allah subhanho wa Taala in his heart in his mind, trusting that Allah will save him and protect him.

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And he could have given in, but he chose not to that sincerity, that's knowing that I'm in a situation or a position to do something. But because I'm aware of Allah subhanho wa Taala, I will perfect every single action, even if not a single person knows about it. Simple example.

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It's time for sada you know that you do not have to

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be just too lazy to go and make.

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That's a simple example of a class. I am sincere with Allah subhanho wa Taala that I am only praying that prayer for him. And the requirement in that prayer is that I have Whew.

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So I don't care if anyone else knows or doesn't know, whether I have or don't have Hulu, I made sure to go and perform Hulu, because Allah knows. That's an example that's tangible. That's an example that can apply to many people's lives. And many of us have handler we think that we are out beating the system but we're not always aware of what goes on. Okay. Number two is lost renders safe and powerless. Okay, if lost is our Eamonn, sorry, if lost in our human is a means of salvation. Okay? The example of the BIP aka the cart,

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a person comes on the day of judgment in front of Allah subhanho wa Taala with 99 scrolls of sins. Each scroll if unrolled goes right to the end of the horizon.

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Imagine you have 99 scrolls from here to the end of the horizon, filled with nothing but sins.

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And nothing good is in your book of deeds.

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And the angels bring this little card a bit aka, write a little cart

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and what's written on the card.

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You know, in law law,

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you look at this and you think to yourself,

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there's no way this card is going to outweigh 99 scrolls that go all the way to the end of the horizon of my sins. But it does. Why? Because of the sincerity in that person's belief. Now what does that teach us? that teaches us that even in the example

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that I spoke about in the previous session, of a person who says my man is here, so I'm going to pray in my bathing suit. Right?

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Even that is an example for you and I to show us that ultimately, our judge is Allah subhanho wa Taala not me and you.

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We can't judge, we have no idea what's inside the heart of a person. Absolutely no idea.

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Yes, we try and uphold the values of the dean. But the reason why and the method and upholding those values leads back to the beginning of the course, using that compassion, being brave to speak to someone and to convey the message in a way that is respectful to them in a way where they will want to receive this message. Some people will need a lot more in order to be affected. Won't. I remember there was a time when I was teaching a course. And of course, of course. And as I was teaching, there was one sister you know not she is not even in this country, right? But she's sitting like halfway up the auditorium. And as I'm teaching every single thing I'm about to say she quotes the

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Hadith or the ayah. Before I could even say it like she's you could see her and she's saying it like out loud. Well, super loud, disturbing others, but she was just like, you know, say the IRC, the Hadeeth eyes must be a sister who studied or something, right. But she's a sister who's not wearing hijab.

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So immediately Your mind is thinking, What's going on here. She knows all of these ayat and all of these heads, she seems really knowledgeable.

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But a person who has that much knowledge, you would expect to see them implementing the knowledge too. So I thought to myself, this is a person who if they have knowledge, can receive a message that is direct. Do you know what I did? Instead of, you know, beating around the bush and saying some other person's gonna ask her or help her. She kept coming and asking questions that

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brakes.

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Right? She would ask questions. What about this? What about that clarifying things? And I'm like, okay, somehow she knows she knows her stuff. On the second on No, sorry. On the first day, near the end of the day, she came in asked a question again.

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And when I was done answering it, she's like, okay, chuckle okay then and she was walking away. And I was like, sister, can I ask you a question? She's like, okay, go, you don't have to answer. But I'm gonna be very blunt and very specific. You seem to know the answers to every single one of the questions and the topics that we're discussing in class, you know, all the ins you know, all the Hadeeth

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Why don't you wear hijab?

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That was it. As I said, I wasn't going to be like, you know, a lot is in the Prophet sallallahu Sallam that and you know, sister, Mashallah Tamara Killa? Right? No, no, straightforward. Why don't you wear hijab?

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She was like,

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maybe I'll tell you tomorrow.

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That was it. She left.

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The next day, she came in wearing hijab.

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The example there, sometimes some people, they need to be put on the spot,

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in a nice way, in a respectful manner. Other people will need the, you know, in an in a

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wasting my time sort of thing, right, where we think we're wasting our time, but we're getting to something good.

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She only needed that direct question. And she came the next day. And she said, No one has ever asked me point blank, why I don't wear hijab.

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And she said, You were the first one that asked me, and I realized, people must know that I don't wear hijab. So I should wear hijab, said, So wait, you're wearing Hijab because of them? She said, No. I've always wanted to wear hijab. I just never saw the need for it. But you pointed out yesterday, that I should be wearing hijab.

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And so I'm going to wear till this day, she still wears hijab.

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I got to know how she stopped wearing hijab. She actually used to wear niqab and I Baia.

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And she got married many years back. And her husband had forced her into, stop wearing a job, stop wearing a buy, stop wearing clothing that's covering start wearing things that were revealing, and so on and so forth. And then their marriage ended up in divorce. And then she was extremely broken. And that went on for years and years. Right. Now she wears hijab, she's married, etc. And you know, things are moving on hamdulillah. So that's an example of how different people different methods of applying the dean needs to be used across the board. Okay. measuring your F loss.

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A simple way to measure your F loss. If you give something to someone as a gift, and they don't thank you for it.

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But you expect to be thanked.

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That's a way to gauge your loss. Okay, so I've given you a method to gauge your taqwa before, right? How did I say to do that?

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See what the first word is that comes out of your mouth when something bad happens, right? Good. So now we're talking about how to gauge your endless your sincerity with Allah Subhana, WA, Tada. You give something to someone, and they don't appreciate what you're doing. You cook dinner for someone and they don't appreciate what you're doing. Right?

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That can be problematic for a husband though. Okay, you should appreciate what your wife is doing. All right. But at the same time, we all need to appreciate others in order to make the other person feel good. However, if you, for example, at some random point in time, do not get thanked for the thing that you did. Let's say you spent the entire weekend or the entire day preparing yesterday you came to the course i'm just going to use the volunteers as an example. And I know that handler uncultured volunteers are extremely sincere, right? Many of them, you know, they pay for their own courses, they dedicate their time they go out of their way for many people, they don't have to, but

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they do. Why because the sincerity in it, right? And we usually see that. But if at the end of the course no one comes and says thank you to any one of the volunteers, not a single one of them should ever feel as though people don't appreciate them.

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They shouldn't. Why?

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Because we do it for the sake of Allah while at the same time. Allah tells us to thank the people appreciate the people. That's what we learned in the son of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam right? appreciate the people show mercy to others. And so there's always going to be a balance. But the point that stands out is the moment that we

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Don't feel appreciated.

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That's where we need to start questioning our airfloss with Allah subhanho wa Taala

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vigilance against sin.

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From Sullivan Serra da de la hora and allows messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said this is halfway through page number 45. Beware of sins which are treated as being minor, just like a people who encamped in the center of a valley. So someone brings a stick of firewood and someone else brings a stick until they are able to bake their bread. Likewise, sins which are treated as being minor, and for which the person is taken to account will destroy him.

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I remember our teacher in Medina always telling us it is the minor sins that will make a person go to Johanna.

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And we were like, share, like major sins come up. Like Nope, the minor sins are overlooked by us. We commit sins, we make mistakes all day long, and we don't even recognize it. And at the end of the day, we can't even say I stole federal law for one. Because we're like, No, I didn't send today Alhamdulillah my account is clean. But we've made so many mistakes at times we make mistakes where we don't even realize it. Right. And we just disregard it. But a major sin when someone commits a major sin, they know they did something wrong. They feel extremely bad and regret the fact that they did that, that they did that they turn to Allah subhana wa Tada, repent, repent, repent, and they

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never go back to that sin. But the minor sins.

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Maybe tomorrow we'll stop, right? Maybe tomorrow, okra book. And it never comes. And we never asked for forgiveness. And they pile up and they pile up and they pile up. And it's those minor sins that we need to be very careful of this association from the world. We spoke about that and Zoho, we're not going to go over it again. The believer constantly seeks to improve themselves. We've been talking about that the entire morning. So there's a few points there. If you want to read over it, you can.

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We're going to move on into the family inshallah hotel. Okay, the family.

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Now, you'll notice as we get closer to the end of the course, there are certain things that we touched upon with the self. So certain things that applied to perfecting or building one's own self, we're not going to go over it again, when it talks about the family and its application towards the family itself. Okay.

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So when we talk about the family, we're going to talk about the mother and the father. We're going to talk about the wife. And I know some people like wait a second, why we're going to talk about the wife only where's the husband? We don't see husband here, right? What's the problem? Why are we talking about the wife? Because the men really need to fix themselves to help their wife. Right? Right. Okay, good. hamdulillah and then the children and then the extended family, also known as the in laws. Okay.

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Yeah, you want to talk about that first.

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Maybe we'll leave it for next time.

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The family game we move on to the family, mother and father. We know very well the importance of our parents. In fact, we don't really need to go over it. All we need is a reminder that we are supposed to be good to our parents that we are supposed to respect and obey our parents. Now technically, we didn't choose our partners, our spouse, Allah subhana wa tada shows us in the verses in front of us in sorta room in verse number 20, and of His Signs is that he created you from dust, then suddenly, you were human beings dispersing yourselves mates.

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Sorry, dispersing throughout the earth. And of His Signs is that he created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them. Allah subhanho wa Taala created our spouse for us. Okay, so that spouse, we technically don't really choose our spouse but we get to choose our spouse and it was very philosophical, but those who got married, they know Okay, they didn't choose they chose

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this little joke. I guess it doesn't apply in South Africa and the law.

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undermining his center was created from

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clay soils, right components of the earth. What were we create?

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CLAY

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Where did we come from?

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Mom and Dad, right? We came from mom and dad very good. Alhamdulillah we all acknowledge that because many people make that mistake and say, you know, I was created from dirt and returned to dirt. No Adam alayhis salaam was created from dirt soil. He was the beginning of the human beings. Right? How what was created from

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Adam Allahu salams rib, and I explained that to you in forgotten jewels already. Right? We learnt it here. I taught you forgotten jewels, right?

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Good hamdulillah so we're not going over it. Those that missed it? Well, you need to ask them to bring forgotten jewels back so I can make another trip to Dr. Berg right. shala

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but us as human beings we come from our mother and our father and our parents come before us the responsibility to fulfill our parents is one that we touch upon and highlight in our Deen constantly imams will write about it had teeth of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam are constantly quoted, I add to the Quran where Allah Subhana Allah tells us to be obedient to Him to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and to our parents, the responsibility is great. However, we as children who here's a child, raise your hand, if you're a child.

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You have to pay attention. Raise your hand if you're a child.

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We are all children. I know some of your thinking child means little kids, right?

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We're all children very good. I'm the law. Now we're understanding where I'm coming from right? We are all children to our parents. No matter how old our parents get, we will always be seen to them in their eyes. As children, our mother will always remember the days that she changed our diapers, our mother will always remember us as being you know, that little baby that would walk around fall, look up to her and smile. Right, she will always remember that our father will always remember

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the same things as well. Our parents will never forget the things that we've done

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as children.

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And they love that the good and the bad of it.

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We, as adults, as we grow older and have our own children, we start to develop that as well. When one of us has a child that's sick,

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we actually enjoy the fact that we can sit up and watch our child, we don't like that they're sick. But we enjoy the fact that we're spending that time with them.

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And we will always remember it. As old as we can be, we will always remember how our children

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are children. And therefore, our parents remember us as their children. That's important to note. Because when we grow older and start to have children, and many of you raise your hands, many of you are married, you know what it's like. And it's only once a child becomes a parent, that they realize the struggle is real. Right? When they see that first child being born.

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Right, and the mother just delivered her first child. The husband is like, we are not having children anymore, right? I am not gonna watch you go through this anymore. And she's like, Don't talk to me about other children right now. Right? And then what happens Two months later, three months later, they're like, oh, baby's getting older already. What do you think about having another child like, Whoa, slow down, right? But that's because we love the children.

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Now, as they grow older, we continue to love them.

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But we don't realize that as we grow older, and our children grow older, our parents are growing older, and they still love us too. And they would always do what's needed for us in our lives. Now that's important. So Pamela, we need to make sure that we focus on our parents and give back to our parents. Welcome, Bob. bukanlah tambu illa iya will be validating Santa and Allah subhanho wa Taala your Lord has decreed that you worship none but him and that you be dutiful towards your parents. does Allah Subhana which Allah

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when he says, Well, that's cool. lahoma of what does that mean?

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Don't say off to your parents, right? What does anyone actually say off to their parents?

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No, but what do we do? What do we say to our parents? Ah, all right.

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I'm tired. Are you really tired? You tell me what you tell your parents.

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Right?

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We at times express our frustration. Allah subhanho wa Taala knows that we will get frustrated. That's why he

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He says in the Quran, not to say off to them, don't show your frustration to your parents. Don't display your frustration to them.

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But Allah knows that we will get frustrated. Because if he didn't, he wouldn't have told us. And Allah knows everything. So we can't play around with that game. But what we do need to understand there is why we can't express our frustration to our parents.

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Who here went to university? Raise your hands?

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out of you that have your hands up? How many of you your parents paid for your university degrees? Or helped you at least? Right? How many of you

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are married?

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Okay, a lot more people raise their hands this morning, some people get divorced over lunch or work

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that you didn't share your food with your spouse or something.

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Raise your hand if you're married. How many of you in the marriage process your parents contributed towards your marriage financially?

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All right, almost everyone, right? You're just too shy to say like, no, I worked for everything. Thank you very much, right? Or they're from the Indian Pakistani families. And they're just like, betta, you need to be an engineer working for 20 years before you get married. Right? So it's like, Yeah, he paid for everything.

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You can ask yourself that question time and time again. And as old as we get, our parents will constantly look at us and say, What do you need, your car's not doing good here, buy a new car. You know, your home is too small, you have more children here, I'll sell my house, you buy something bigger. Just the other day, my dad, we were talking about things. And he's like, you know, you should do this, you should do that, you know, the community needs this community needs that he's like, if you want, I'll sell my house and give you the money. I'm like, Whoa, take it easy, you know, keep the house because if you sell the house, I don't know where you're gonna live. Because I

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don't have a house, you don't have a house? Where are we gonna live SubhanAllah. So our parents will always do what it takes for us as their children to be comfortable. Even if it takes away from their comfort.

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That's why Allah tells us Don't show your frustration to your parents, they will always sacrifice their lives for us. Their time for sacrifice has passed. For us. We need to sacrifice for them. It's our turn to give to them. Why? Because when we give to our parents, our children see us giving to our parents, you know, when the example and you'll read it here and I don't want to go through everything in detail, the example of the men that are in the cave.

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And sorry, the example of

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the companion getting milk for his for his parents coming home and making sure that his parents drink from the milk before he gives to his children. Any human being at our time, who's to hear of the story would say wait a second, this man is the father of the children. He has a responsibility to look after his children. Why is he not fulfilling the rights of the children? He should be giving to them to drink from the milk. That he's teaching them a deeper lesson.

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My children, you will sacrifice and wait because my parents need it first.

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And when you grow older, you will sacrifice in giving to your children. Because your parents me. We need it first.

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And when you get older, your grandchildren will sacrifice so your children can give to you. Do you see that? Does that make sense to you? It's important that we learn these things in our Deen Allah Subhana Allah Allah made these incidents happen these statements of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for a reason. We need to understand the hikma in the development of a human being in these lessons from the life of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So giving to our parents don't think that you're taking away from your children, our parents sacrificed for us and like we said earlier times are so easy now that the younger generation they have everything. They don't know what

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sacrifice is anymore. And the problem is that our parents are still sacrificing because we are sacrificing for our children. So our parents feel bad for us.

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And at times they feel you know, you do too much for your children. You spoil your children, as much as grandparents spoil their children. We understand that but that's their right. They can. We shouldn't

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and they are our children, but they're more their children.

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ours, we ask Allah Subhana Allah to make that easy for us to understand. I mean, the mother before the Father, we gave a simple example before three times, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, your mother, your mother, your mother, and then who? Your father, the mother, of course sacrificed a lot more than the father, no doubt the father sacrificed and continues to sacrifice. But I can't imagine what it's like to hold the baby inside of me. I can't imagine what it's like to not sleep on my back for seven or eight months, because a woman is pregnant and she can't write the baby will suffocate. I can't stand having my ankles and my knees swollen after a flight. These

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sisters are having swollen ankles and knees, and you know, hips, hip pain and back pain for months. And sometimes years after the delivery.

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We can not challenge as much as we try to the hardships that our spouse will go through and delivering our children we can't, and alone makes that clear. And as husbands as fathers, we need to instill that in our children's lives as well. I know as men we want respect, no doubt. Right. A father always wants respect not only from his spouse, but he wants respect from his children. But we will earn the respect of our children, when they see how much we respect their mother.

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When our children see how much we respect their mother, and we stand protecting our wife, in front of the children, because we know when children grow older, especially in their teenage years, they say things they will regret later on, but they don't understand it right now. When we as the Father stand to defend the mother. The children will respect that they will see it. They just don't see it right now. They understand it, but they will not compute it. If that makes any sense to us. Okay. The family the wife. Okay.

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We take some lessons from Salvator casas

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Allah subhanho wa Taala highlights the life of Masada, his senem. And the incident in particular, where he goes, and he shows those two sisters, how he as a man who's foreign to them, can look after them. And I touched upon this slightly this morning, chivalry, it doesn't really exist anymore. We don't find men going out of their way, looking after our sisters. A simple example of how to LA and I wanted to mention this in class.

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I know that in your society in South Africa, it's changing. It's changing. You asked me this question years ago, I would have not said it in class. I would say it one on one. It's changing to the extent that masajid used to have signs and still do in many places where women are not allowed to enter. Right? You have that here in South Africa. Yeah, we all know the sisters will say it louder than the brothers. Right.

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And because of that, or because of the fact that sisters were allowed in the masjid, but they had to stay behind a brick wall or stay in the basement or, you know, I went to this one mustard in Canada once and it was my wife was like, I can't believe like, why do we even come here? Why does sisters even come? Because it was in the basement. And it was winter. And it was so cold, but the basement door doesn't close properly. So the snow is blowing through the door into the women's prayer area. It's freezing cold. And to top it off, all of the brothers of course are not going to look after the children. Right? So all the children are there to freezing cold. No one cares, right? An example was

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at lunch today. We were praying Salah,

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right? We're praying outside, it is extremely difficult for an Imam to have his voice reach the back of where the men are praying. There's nothing in front of him. So his voice just goes IT projects forward. It doesn't come back. When you're standing inside of a mustard, for example. That's why they make domes like a Half Dome. Because the sound projects backwards, right? Or you're standing in front of a flat wall talking to sound is going to hit the wall and bounce back. So our amount of email was leading and his sound was barely reaching me and I was in the back row. So I thought to myself in the Sala if I can't hear him. Are the sisters even praying? Right? Could any of the

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sisters hear properly in the first knockout? No. So as as as men, our responsibility is to constantly be thinking and looking after the women in our society. It's a responsibility on our shoulders.

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We need to be people that a sister is in trouble as sisters in need a sister is going through hardship and a simple thing like she can't hear the tequila in Sala it's no one's fault.

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But I have a responsibility. What's my responsibility? I can hear that

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someone behind me probably can't, I need to now say that

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I need to now say the tequila out loud.

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And that's something that we should be willing to do. We should constantly be thinking of the other person love for your brother and your sister what you love for yourself, giving to someone else what you would love to be given to you. That is the son of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that is our Muslim DNA, looking after the other person to the extent that when I am in need, the other people look after me.

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But we don't have that today. Today, it's the social media age, right? It's the age where everyone takes and no one gives. It's a time where you can have 10s of 1000s of followers online. And the moment you're in need of something not a single person comes to your assistance. No one you can be sick and everyone in the world knows and not a single person will come and make a drive for you, or will come and visit you or will send food cooked to your home to help you or to help your family etc. We don't have that anymore. It's rare.

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Is it still happening? Do you get food sent to your homes?

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People like

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yeah, we kind of have to ask for it right.

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It's a time to look after each other the wife Subhana Allah chivalry musala his sentiment shows us that and he teaches us chivalry honesty.

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Honesty is one of the greatest

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of all moral virtues. It gives rise to many of the noblest qualities such as integrity, chastity and valor. It is not confined to words and statements but is also manifested in our actions. our innermost being. A person's deeds are honest only when he practices what he professes practice what you preach. Don't just say something do it as well. dishonesty indeed, is more despicable than dishonesty and word for it is nothing but a hypocritical display of sincerity. For honesty, to be complete, it must exist in three things honesty in the heart as faith, honesty and intention behind one's deeds. Why are you doing this? What is your intention for it? And thirdly, honesty in words

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and in the statements, one professor's honesty and words and actions. You can read through that inshallah I think we all understand it.

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There was something that I wanted to point out

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that I usually point out in this course. But because it is mentioned in other courses, I won't and that's looking for a spouse, right? So what to look for when you're looking for a wife, for example, okay, the qualities and we know that Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam look for beauty, lineage, wealth, but what's more important? Deen, right look for their Deen, what's important when you're looking for a husband?

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Okay.

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Sorry. The same things.

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Good o'clock. And

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more important than that.

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Dean, very good Dean and o'clock. good morals, good values, good character. Is this person going to beat up my daughter the day that they get married? Is he going to be frustrated because she's like, shy and scared? Is he going to harm her? Is he going to verbally abused or physically abused her? Right Good luck, good morals, good values, good etiquette. That's important. And Dean, and if he has Dean, then everything else should follow through just like when looking for a wife. If she has Dean, then everything else should follow through as well.

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Do you want to die?