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Friday Night Etiquettes Class – February 12, 2021

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Daood Butt

Channel: Daood Butt

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Similar to why he was selling more and then at the Korean Peninsula to attend the test lean on Japanese, Sydney

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attended the ceremony if only

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my brothers and my sisters ascend mRNA from

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cattle.

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We're going to wait a minute in sha Allah until

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until everyone gets online. Once again, you got to wait for those notifications to go through. Right. So we'll wait a minute, and then we'll get started. Hopefully in the meantime, you know, people are doing well.

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Hopefully, people are indoors as well and not freezing on the outside.

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Just going to quickly switch

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technical difficulties. All right, it shows on my end that it's working and that the sound is going through. So

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just let me know if you're able to hear me What about now? Can you hear me on youtube chulmleigh

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you can't hear me I'll just pull out the mic.

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And if they can't hear me, they have no idea what I'm saying. Okay, you can hear me now. Good, humble, humble. I'm really glad that you can hear me All I had to do is unplug it and plug it back in. So that worked. I'm glad that it's working. Just knock on low height and for your patience. And we'll get started because I need to finish up on time inshallah. I'm just gonna pull my headphones out Actually, I'll leave them in.

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There we go.

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Alright, so as I was saying, for those of you on YouTube who didn't hear what I said, we are starting the chapter on hospitality and we're going to be looking at a few things starting out very slow inshallah. And then we will get more into it. We're going to take a number of

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etiquettes

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with regards to an invitation for

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attending a wedding for example. Okay, so what's permitted what's not permitted? But first of all, let's look at what Allah Subhana Allah says, In surah two that he adds verse number 24 to 27 attack a hadith about on him more come in a loss of Hannah water Allah is talking about the the guests that Prophet Ibrahim

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He might have his senem received and remember these guests were angels, right? The angels that Prophet Ibrahim Allah has sent them received.

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And these weren't noble angels, but Ibrahim Allah has sent him at the time didn't know if it okay so he was not aware of the fact that these guests of his were actually angel sent from Allah subhana wa Tana, and it seemed very strange like he wasn't exactly certain as to who they were. So he says, If dukkah do Allah He forcados Salama, so they entered upon Ibrahim Allah has sent them right. They were welcomed by Ibrahim alayhis salam and they greeted him right peacefully with salutations and you know, showed kindness to Ibrahim alayhis. Salaam corner sentiment. So Ibrahim Alayhi Salam responded in you know a nice way peaceful way, you know, with greetings and salutations as well.

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Go monkey rune, right manconi Allah Subhana with Allah then shows us how Ibrahim alayhis salam was uncertain as to who these people were, where did they come from? Who are they? What are their motives? Why are they even here? What did they come for? So

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you receive these guests and Ibrahim Allah His sentiment was not sure who these guests were as in what their motive was, Why are they here? What is their intention? Why did they come to see Ibrahim Ali has sent me these three people thought all so Allah Subhana Allah says for our so he left he, he basically went to his family, Ibrahim alayhis salam received them in his home, he goes into the other room or into the other part of his home. And he requests his family to

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prepare some food. Right for our ILA early for the engine in sameen. So he brings you know, some some food or roasted, you know, animal to them to eat as kindness to these guests. He's doing Ekrem he's serving them. This is part of hospitality within the dean

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for cotulla bajo la him called Ella Kowloon. So he realized at that point in time that they were not eating, and he inquired as to why they're not eating right, aren't you going to eat the food that I'm presenting to you? I'm your host. Why aren't you eating? And of course, we know that it goes further than that. And we're not going to go any further and shot a lot of data because we're not talking about the story. We're looking at the fact that in Brahim, I know his cinemas hospitable, right. He was hospitable towards his guests that he was receiving. We also see an example of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam when he mentions

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men kana you know biLlahi well, yo mill, fella you the JR who the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says in this three part Heidi's we could say he says whoever believes in Allah and the day of judgment or the last day.

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Finally, the Java who then do not

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harm your neighbor. Don't do anything bad towards your neighbor. Okay, be nice to your neighbors. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is telling us that this is part of our belief, right part of our belief. Those who believe in Allah subhana wa tada and the last day, then do not be harmful do not disappoint. Do not cause issues between you and your neighbors. Okay, be kind to your neighbors. woman can a middle be lucky will your meal earlier for you, Kim bifa who and whoever believes in a lot in the last day fellow Kim bifa who then be hospitable show hospitality towards your

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guests. For you can play for who and this is the part of the chapter that we're looking at right? being kind to our guests.

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He then continues to say some Allahu alayhi wa sallam woman can you'll be lucky while you're here fairly cool. Hi, Ron, Ollie are smart. And whoever believes in a lot and the last day then

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say that which is good or remain silent. So in this Hadeeth we see three components or three aspects of our belief being highlighted, mechanically to be lucky William, whoever believes in along the final day, right the last day, then the Prophet sallallahu Adda usnm begins be do not harm your neighbor. That's the first thing secondly, that you can buy for who be hospitable towards your guests. And I just noticed that one of my you know, friends, you know, brother Najib,

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Who is a chef in Malaysia he just signed on on Instagram martial arts of Attica law GB a while you gotta keep coming Allah subhanho wa jal and make it easy for you and your family to be successful, both financially in this dunya as well as in Accra. I mean, you know, some kind of law he I remember when he was hospitable towards me at his restaurant, and he served me some of the best food I've ever eaten in my life and he has amazing restaurants in Malaysia. And I do wish and and pray and ask Allah subhana wa tada to allow me to go back. So that brother Najib can be more hospitable, I'll pay Don't worry, I just really want to eat some of that foods out of LA. But it's it's not it's not

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about the hospitality in receiving something, right? It's about being with those people as well being in good company. And so the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says, you know, first off, do not harm your neighbors. Secondly, do it come towards your, your guests your life right to those who are visiting you. And thirdly, folio colheita and Ollie ausmat, say that which is good or remain silent. So these are examples that we get to show the importance of this chapter. Why is it that we are studying this, we go into our first subheading, right, the first thing that we're going to look at, under this chapter of the etiquettes of hospitality.

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The first etiquette that we look at is

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he Jabba to Dawa. Okay, he Jabba to Dara, the very first part is to answer or respond to the invitation when someone is invited, respond to it, okay. So, if someone invites you to their home, should you respond to it, what are the times that you have to respond? What are the times that you should not respond to the invitation of someone else right. So, we look at another Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam.

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Of course, this is mentioned in various different places the importance of being kind and showing hospitality is like a little hidden brother in a jeep. I shot lots of articles always looking forward to seeing you and your family and please do convey my send them to your parents.

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So in this Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he says, How cool Muslim he is Island Muslim comes the right of a believer upon another believer or the I should correct myself How can you Muslim Island Muslim, the right of a Muslim upon another Muslim. So, if you call yourself a Muslim, you have to look after certain things that are related to your Muslim sister or brother right. as Muslims we need to look after each other and it is the right of a Muslim that another Muslim takes care of these five things as a Muslim I have these rights that you must fulfill and you as a Muslim have these rights that I must fulfill. Okay, first off,

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I just sat down we covered this one already in depth right the very first you know, chapter we looked at was the importance of giving senem Okay, conveying Salutations, the greetings of the believer SNM where I lay come and responding with where la cama Santa Morocco to lie about a cattle. So he job sorry

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about Jerusalem. So the response of one's sent him if someone comes in says Assalamu alaikum. It is their right, that you respond to their senem and Allah Subhana Allah tells us that you must respond with either that which is equal to what they had given to you as a as a greeting or with what is better and it's always better to do what's better and best, right? So if someone comes and says Assalamu alaykum, then we should respond and say why aleikum wa salam or aleikum wa sallam What are Matala? Or why are they como Salim? Rahmatullahi wa barakato so we have to respond to that sent them

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while you both features like a little hide in the jeep, I saw a lot of I get so happy when I see Malaysians right Malaysians are like dear to my heart. our daughters were born in Malaysia for those of you who don't know, and so Subhanallah it's like whenever I see Malaysians who I know who I still keep in touch with you know Subhanallah it's it's dear to the heart It makes me feel so happy. I feel warm on the inside as though I just finished eating some Ruthie Chennai and they open us right.

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So how could a Muslim the right of the Muslim is that when they give you senem you have to respond to their sentiment even if it's a Muslim that you are angry with or you are not happy with or you're holding a grudge against for whatever reason. Remember, we're not supposed to hold a grudge for more than three days right? But

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If a person is feeling something within their heart towards another Muslim, and that Muslim meets you and says SLM or LA come to you, then it is their right and your responsibility as a believer to respond to their center. Okay?

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I saw lots of Attica ly. I don't know if we're gonna get through the Holocaust. I see for him now from Bradford and he's saying that he knows that I love Bradford just as much. And yes, I do love Bradford. I don't know about just as much but I love the people in Bradford just as much.

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Bradford is Bradley Stan Bradford Shetty. machelle.

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And yes, for him May Allah Subhana Allah bless you and your family and put back and hide in your earnings and your business as well. For him has a shop that is also dear to my heart, right? Not only food is close to my heart, but cars right and he modifies and paints cars Alhamdulillah.

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So the second rate of a believer as a prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, right?

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is

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a yes to Maria. So the first one is about to set up a Yeah, that will marry. And third is it did that Jenna is following the jenessa. Fourth is IJA to Dara, responding to a invitation, an invitation. And the fifth is Kashmir to lattice right responding to the sneeze of someone else of another Muslim. So the first one we said was odd to send them responding to send them second one is area that will marry you going and visiting those who are sick, but not just visiting the word area means to constantly visit, right to pay a visit at a regular sort of pace, or a specific set time, an interval that is there in place, for example,

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read and filter, read and

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write their reads that we celebrate come at a specific time every year it has come back read read means celebration, right? But read is also a celebration that comes at a specific time area that total Maria is coming back to visit that sick person, for example, once a week, or once a month, or once a year, or whatever it is, right so someone who's sick to pay them a visit, and to be someone who is regular in visiting them.

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Which is why I actually need to finish the halaqa and leave right away I got a request just before about a half an hour before we started to come into the hospital. So I'm gonna head straight there and shot along to Anna to visit one of the brothers who's in the hospital, please do make dua for all our, you know, brothers and sisters in the community who are you know, sick and going through hardship or ill with with something whatever Allah Subhana Allah has blessed them with, right because the hardships we go through are a means of our forgiveness as well. Right? So we have to try and find the good in it right and and make dua to Allah subhana wa tada that Allah relieves those

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who are going through a hardship, grant them cure and health and strength and make it easy for their family members to bear this difficult time that they're going through and to seek pleasure and comfort in turning to Allah subhanho wa Taala throughout difficult times, I mean,

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the third, right of a Muslim upon another Muslim is it diva, Jenna is to follow the janazah right when a person passes away, we are going to take part in the hustle, take part in the agenda as a prayer but also follow the agenda as a to the cemetery and bury it. And you'll notice that some people will say, well, what's the issue? What's wrong with that? Well, there are many people who are scared to go to the cemetery, right because of what they saw in movies, or what they have heard, or what people say of tales and stuff like that. So there's a lot of people who are actually scared to go to the cemetery. Now if you're scared to go to the cemetery, then don't go at night. Right? But

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you shouldn't be scared of going to the cemetery. It is from the practices of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to go to the cemetery and make dua for the people who passed away. Okay, so, those of us that are scared to go to the cemetery, put all the stories aside and think of it this way, that the worshipers of Allah subhanho wa Taala are buried there. And from amongst them there are pious people whose graves are filled with this

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sent the beautiful sent, there are lots of hand which Allah is giving to them. That is something you know, near the center of Paradise as in what's coming from genda. So allow yourselves to feel free in going to visit those that have passed away, because some of them are enjoying times of pleasure in their graves that we can only wish for. Right. And so my brothers and sisters Don't be scared to go to the cemetery. In fact, going to the cemetery shakes the heart back into place, right? You know, when someone has a heart attack and they charge, right and they jolt the heart back, right. So somehow going to the cemetery shakes the heart back into place. Okay, shakes the heart back into

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place. And what I mean by this is, it allows us to have our heart softened, that we remember death, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam used to encourage that we remember death. Because when we remember death, we take life a little bit more seriously, as opposed to simply joking around all the time and living life as though it's just a phase that we're transitioning through. And everything is fine, and everything is amazing. And we don't care about a law, and we forget about a law and we forget about our prayers. No, that's not the life we want to live. We want to remember a law and we want to remember to pray and we want to be ready all the time in advance. And so my brothers and

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sisters, visit the cemetery, visit those that are buried there, make dua to Allah subhana wa tada for them. Okay.

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The fourth of the rights of a Muslim upon another Muslim is he Jabba to Darwin, and this is the one that we were getting to, right? He Jabba to Dawa, responding to a invitation, and in fact, it is not just responding, he jabber is answering. Right. As in, someone invites you. I will come you will answer that invitation. And none of this you know, martial arts of Attica, Lee, our community members, they like to make a lot of jokes. Some of them are culturally LinkedIn, some of them are islamically, linked, right. And some of our community members, when they make jokes about this, they'll be like, Oh, you're invited somewhere in shall come and be like inshallah, right? if Allah

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wills, I'm not coming. But if somehow Allah makes me go, I'll be there. Right? So we shouldn't do that. My brothers and sisters what we should do is in sha Allah, yes. Not in shut online. No. Right? In sha Allah, yes, I will come.

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It is the right of another believer that we respond to their invitation. Okay, with a positive agreement to go and attend. Now we're going to look at that in detail in sha Allah as we go along. But before that, let's take the last and final point that is here in this Hadeeth. What tests Nia to allow this

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saying Alhamdulillah?

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Right, when someone sneezes

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sorry, the person who sneezes says Alhamdulillah. And when we hear the statement of the person who sneezed and they say, Alhamdulillah, we respond to that with your humble Cola, or you had a humble Killa or your ham? qumola. Right.

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And that response to the sneeze of a person is there, right? So when I sneeze, for example, and I say

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hamdulillah.

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It is my right for you to say your macula. And if you don't, I should ask you for it. Hey, I sneezed. And I said Alhamdulillah What do you have to say? Right? And when you say you had a hammock comme la or you had a hammock Killa for a sister, where you had a hammock come alive, a few people sneezed at once or you want to be more respectful towards that person and you use the plural for the informant for that response.

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Then we respond to that by saying Yeah, de como la Will you slit rubella? Can you see? It's my right that's your right. It's my right so it goes back and forth. We look after each other. We make do out for each other. We are encouraged in our Deen it is the right of a Muslim that another Muslim is making to offer them. You say send them a person send them back to you. Even if there's a grudge in their heart. I'm sorry, but I have to say y la como Sena. Okay.

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So what's the person purpose and wisdom behind the specific statements? I mean, these are from the Sunnah of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam. Right. This is there are certain things that we learned that have certain phrases that are good, that are you know, sometimes a person might say bless you

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What? What is Bless you, when you praise Allah subhanho wa Taala you're glorifying Allah subhana wa tada who allowed this person to sneeze. And what happens when the sneeze takes place? Right sneeze, not Sneeze Sneeze. So what happens when the sneeze takes place?

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doctors will tell you that the heart skips a beat.

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Right? That the heart skips a beat, the sneeze is so strong, that the heart skips a beat, but Alhamdulillah

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Alhamdulillah Allah allowed us to sneeze. Not only that, when a person sneezes, the germs of the body are coming out. That's why we're sneezing, right? Or for some people, they got so many boogers in their nose that when they touch it, it tickles their nose and they start to sneeze. And you see that with our children, right? Sometimes children, they will they'll be fidgeting with their nose, like, Oh, my nose is you know, bothering me. Right? Right? Because it got so many boogers in their nose. And they touch it and it's like itching them at you. Right? What is the loss of hanaway data signal signaling to us that he is in charge, he is in control of our bodies. And he has designed the

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body to let you know something is in there that needs to come out. Whether it is the boogers in the nose, or the germs in the body that come out. And this is why so kind of like you'll see in some cultures like in the Chinese culture, when they sneeze, they don't cover their mouth and nose. Right? Back in the day, we used to sneeze like this. It would tell us to sneeze in your heads right? When we were kids. Now we realize oh, why would you sneeze in your heads islamically we're not taught to sneeze in our hands. islamically We are not taught to sneeze in our hands. Right? We either turn away from people or we cover it with with our clothing, right with a piece of clothing.

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Right? And they used to wear you know, that Anoma that was hanging.

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So they would have the scarf or they would take their clothing right and

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sneeze on it so that it's not going on their hands and they're not then touching other people with you know, the hands that they sneezed on. Now you'll notice that we're, you know, we used to say sneeze on your on your forearm, and now we're saying sneeze in your elbow, right sneezing your elbow, because it's less likely for you to touch people with your elbow. But what do we notice because of COVID people are not allowed to shake hands. They're not allowed to fist bumps or it's not encouraged. Right? Not that it's not allowed. It's discouraged to shake hands discouraged to fist bumps. Because, hey, if I touch this part of someone's hand, and I go on it, touch my face,

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then you know, it's still going in my face. But people are doing elbow bumps, right? People are touching Oh, so now you're sneezing in your elbow and you're

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transmitting the germs. And this is why islamically we have our garment and we keep it on the inside. Those germs will stay here. When we go and we shower, they will come off. Right.

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Amazing Dean, we have isn't it right?

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Or, you know, you use the back of your hand or you're yawning. Hmm.

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So that no one sees inside of your mouth. Use the back of your hand. Why the back of your hand? Why the back of your left hand? Well, you don't want to use the palm of your left hand because that's like,

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yeah, we go to the bathroom. And yeah, Muslims know what they do with their left hand. So you don't want to use your right hand because you're doing this you're shaking people's hands. And also when you shake people's hands, whatever germs might be on their hands, you're now putting up against your mouth and touching your lips. And then you see so part of the cleanliness

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of the world can be found within the practices of the Muslims. Right what's needed in society is found within the practices of the Muslims already.

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And so getting back to Kashmir Tila heartless you know, responding to the hand of someone who sneezed. Is there right?

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Let's move on. Charla we didn't even get into anything really deep hospitality wise, but that's okay. Right. That's okay. Now.

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This habit of the Aloha home they used to accept invitations, and they would not there were times when they would not accept invitations for whatever reason. But the invitation that is discouraged from rejecting is the invitation to a wedding and I know all of you are like waiting to get to weddings, right? Everyone's like, we want to have a wedding. We want to get together we want some awesome food. We want some social, you know socializing. We want to do this like it's been a long time. You know, people are getting married. People are getting married. No one's ever dropped food off at our houses.

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Right

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Actually one of the brothers got married last week and he dropped off some sweets and no to three other people. In fact, last week, right? A brother got married, he dropped off some cupcakes. And then I know someone from his wife's side of the family. So they actually came and dropped off some MCI, which are now Mashallah and hamdullah part of me and

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it's a family halaqa we got to make it fun for the kids right? And

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another sibling of his got married as well on the same during the same week. And so I got two packs of MCI but I didn't get any biryani I didn't I spent a long time sad some nice biani Just saying.

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Now my wife's gonna have to make some video because her video needs the best. Mashallah. Okay. So, Jim, who I am so the majority of the scholars

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are either Jabba to Darwin was to have are in agreement that responding to an invitation is encouraged. Okay, it is encouraged within the deen that we are supposed to respond to the invitation by accepting it and going towards it. Okay, going for it.

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In Darrow, two ladies, there are two lawyers for in Hawaii button in the home except for the invitation to a wedding for the wedding invitation. The majority of the scholars consider it to be something that is why jib wajib Okay, so now if an invitation to a wedding is wajib as in, we must go and attend it. And if we don't go and attend it, then we could be sinned for it. Right? Why? Because we don't have a valid reason to not go. Okay. So let's look at that in sha Allah Allah first of all,

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the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said shuttleq byom baramulla walima. So the worst type of food is the food of a walima where

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the person who's getting married or the people who are getting married, invite only the rich and do not invite the poor. They exclude the poor, or those that are not as affluent.

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And whoever in the profits on the longer end of usnm says, woman 10 Okay, Dara fucka Dasa, la hora, pseudo and whoever has rejected or has not fulfilled

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and accepted the invitation has disobeyed Allah and His messenger. So when you get invited to a wedding,

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except it except on certain conditions, so Shake

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Shack Mohammed bin Saleh earlier I mean,

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he listed a number of things or a number of reasons when a person can be exempted from accepting and going to a person's wedding invitation. Okay, so let's look at that inshallah. Tada. Just to recap so far, the first thing we're looking at is an invitation. How important is it in the deen? Well, the majority of the scholars say that it is encouraged for us to go to a wedding invitation. Except, sorry, encouraged for us to go to an invitation, accept the wedding invitation, which they consider to be wajib. So you must go to the wedding invitation.

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But there are certain exceptions, okay, that we'll look at inshallah, Tada. So these are some of the things now write them down. Because if you ever want to get out of going to a wedding invitation, you need to know why you need to have some valid reason. Okay. So first of all, that the person inviting

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is someone you should stay away from. So the person who's inviting you to a wedding is someone who is no good to be in their company, or for whatever reason, right? No, no specific reason given except that, you know, the people you should be around and the people you should not be around. If someone is a Muslim, if someone is a criminal, if someone is doing something wrong, right, and they're inviting you, you know, just because they might be a relative, but they're doing something wrong and you know that they are a person you should stay away from, then that is a reason for you to decline their invitation. Okay.

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La akuna Wanaka Mankato, FEMA Canada.

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The second time that a person can decline is

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sorry, I'm just trying to remember if I've missed out on anything on the first point, but if I if I did, I'll come back to it inshallah. So the second time that you can decline a wedding invitation is la akuna Wanaka Mancha that there is no evil or disobedience to Allah subhana wa Jalla that is taking place in that or during that wedding. Okay, during that invitation.

00:35:43--> 00:36:11

So the place that you're going to, for example, if it's like filled with drinking alcohol and stuff like that, then that's, you know, you can you can humbly decline and say, I'm sorry, but as a believer and I remember one of our brothers, in fact, Schaefer, the Imam of our mustard his father used to be one of our teachers when we were growing up, right, he used to teach us about the dean and dub and stuff like that. And I remember very clearly Chateau de force father, Uncle Mahmoud Khan.

00:36:13--> 00:36:21

And shake with a first grandfather actually performed our wedding. Right uncle, Haji Mansoor, Khan, Subhana, Allah,

00:36:23--> 00:36:38

memories a my wife sitting in the room, and I just look at her and she's looking at me. That was what, just two years ago, right? We got married two years ago, right? Not that old, just two years. She says 19 strong, mature, trying to make her feel young. And she's anyways.

00:36:40--> 00:36:56

So, um, shall they first Father, I remember when we were kids, he taught us this. And I remember him putting it into practice. I remember going to a wedding, right. And when we got to the wedding,

00:36:57--> 00:37:25

we went inside. And we noticed that it was all like mixed. And at that time, Subhanallah when we were growing up in Montreal, like we didn't have many people to teach us Islam. Right. So the little that we knew we would just hold on to it. There were not many scholars that had come from other countries that have learned Islam, or, you know, those that did come that were there in Montreal for us as children growing up. Many of them didn't speak English, so we couldn't really learn from them anyways, right.

00:37:27--> 00:37:35

So I remember going to this wedding, and I remember the venue as well of the wedding that we went to, and so had a lot, we were there.

00:37:36--> 00:37:46

And he came in with his wife with Chef with a friend's mom. And when he came in, he walked into the wedding hall.

00:37:47--> 00:37:49

And he

00:37:51--> 00:38:18

spent about a minute or two inside, met with the groom, and the parents and so on. And then he came out into the main lobby area. And he said, Okay, I'm leaving, and I was like, Uncle, why are you leaving? You just got here. And he's like, and he told me, he says, you know, what, dode in gatherings like this, when there are things that are not helpful, that are happening.

00:38:20--> 00:38:24

We should, if we're not able to change it, we should avoid it.

00:38:25--> 00:39:07

And he said that he encouraged, he had advised the family of you know, the the groom, that actually I think it was either the groom or the bride, I'm not really sure right now, which family he advised. But he said, You know, he advised the family that they should not be doing certain things at the wedding. But he came and that's why he accepted the invitation and came, he came and when he went in, he saw that these things were happening. And he and his wife came out a few minutes later, and they left. They did not cause any commotion, they did not you know, stir up some problem and you know, create fitna and so on. No, they, in fact, just left very quietly, but they met the family

00:39:07--> 00:39:14

they made do are out for the family and so on and then left. I remember this, like it happened yesterday. Like I'm saying, I remember the venue as well.

00:39:16--> 00:39:18

This was shared with a friend's father.

00:39:19--> 00:39:57

So kind of lost some of these etiquettes you know, that you get from people when you're a child. You think of it and you're like, Oh, it's no big deal uncle or, you know, he's right. And I actually felt like he was right. There's a reason why I was in the lobby area. I didn't feel comfortable being inside. So So how the law you know, they treated us like their own children as well, like chick fil a for his grandfather, till till he passed away at Ohio law. I remember he would always see me and he would call me beta. Right. And he would call my father beta as well, right because my father is much younger than him. And so he had this thing with me, he would always punch me in the

00:39:57--> 00:39:59

stomach. So every single time I saw shake with a fist

00:40:00--> 00:40:09

Grandfather, he would punch me in the stomach. So I knew every time I saw him to flex my abs, which I didn't really have many, and still don't, right, I only have one now.

00:40:11--> 00:40:48

My wife is looking at me shaking her head, like, Oh my God, this guy said, right? So I would remember, you know, to just absorb that punch, right is not a hard punch, but you know, he was elderly, much elderly, like a grandfather to us. And he would, you know, just give me one light punch in the in the stomach. And some have a lot, you know, those those are the people who may have loss of hand which Allah have mercy on them, and grant them the best of this life and the hereafter. You know, there's a lot of people that we learned from growing up, and they looked after us, like, we were their own children. And that's one of the reasons why I feel very close to check with Ava

00:40:48--> 00:41:30

because, you know, he, he grew up with me, you know, we studied together memorizing Quran in the other room in madrasa and you know, his brothers were with us. So Pamela, it was, you know, like family, we all looked after each other. And that's the kind of the kind of relationship we need to have here in Milton as well. He's looking after one another. And I'm not saying it doesn't exist, it does exist, but we miss it, because of COVID. And we need to bring it back very soon in sha Allah, and we should be looking after each other virtually. I know that we're not allowed to go into people's houses. But one thing that I did, you know, a few days ago, I just went to, to drop some

00:41:30--> 00:42:06

stuff off, write some stuff at people's houses a few days ago, and they were like, Oh, you know, we haven't seen you in a long time. We're just, we want you to come and you know, these are like, brothers that I know really well. And I'm like, shall I using this excuse that you don't want to come to my house right? And I'm not telling him to come into my house. We haven't had anyone come over. But it's just like, you know, go over ring the doorbell as you're going for a walk or something, say send them or go you know, shovel someone's driveway? Hint, Hint, tomorrow's supposed to be snowing, so go shovel someone's driveway, right? Do some hires do something good, do something

00:42:06--> 00:42:09

nice. Right, it is by Marshall lots of article.

00:42:13--> 00:43:02

So the second point that I was mentioning with regards to the times when we can decline someone's invitation is that if there's evil that's taking place, disobedience of Allah subhana wa Tada, this taking place at that wedding, we are to decline. But if we have the ability to remove the evil and bring goodness. So for example, if by you going and attending the wedding, that people will not have music blasting, they will not you know, be doing things that are indecent, not drinking alcohol, etc, etc, then you should go to the wedding. Because you're advising them and you're you are able to remove it. Or you're able to, you know, talk some some sense of reason with the people and have them

00:43:02--> 00:43:14

change the evil into goodness, then you should go it's a form of you giving data to others, or if you simply being there. I know that and I'm not saying this because, you know,

00:43:15--> 00:43:20

I'll use a different example. I remember going to a wedding with another email.

00:43:21--> 00:43:48

And when I was young, okay, this was when I was young. I'm still young. I'm the lash amatola my wife's not here. So yes, I'm still young. And I remember going to this wedding with the Imam of our mustard when I was young, right growing up. And I went with him in his car, we went to the wedding, everything was fine. We sat down and so on. And then he said, okay, dude, we got to go because he had to lead Sala in the masjid. So I went, you know, got up with him. We ate and so on. And then when I got up to leave,

00:43:50--> 00:43:53

we walked out. And as soon as we got out the doors,

00:43:54--> 00:44:00

we heard a DJ, start announcing, alright people, let's start getting his his wedding on a roll. It was

00:44:03--> 00:44:05

like the music started. And we're like,

00:44:06--> 00:44:26

I looked at the moment I was like, in my mind, and in my heart, I felt that they were being humble and respectful towards the Imam and not doing that. Right. And as soon as he got up and left, then the party kicked off.

00:44:28--> 00:44:58

There's two things I want to say here. First of all, like I said, if you're able to stop some sort of shuttle some sort of evil from happening, then you know, try to do that. Secondly, it is sad that people tailor their lives based on the person Now I'm not saying that it's that we should not be respectful. No, be respectful towards your image. Be respectful towards you know people who are pious, be respectful towards the elderly, be respectful towards parents be etc etc. Right?

00:45:00--> 00:45:03

Ask yourself this question. Are you

00:45:04--> 00:45:22

being respectful as a sense of obedience to that person that we have to be this way for that person? So your your your actions are being designed because of another person? Or should our actions be designed because of a loss of Hannah Montana?

00:45:23--> 00:46:06

We should be doing everything for the sake of Allah. Right? And so as soon as the Imam gets up and leaves, it shouldn't be like, Alright guys, let's get this party on a roll. No, it should be Alhamdulillah that mmm reminded us that this is a day that we are with Allah subhanho wa Taala as Rama that he has blessed these people, right? He has brought them together to marry one another, to be a means of comfort for each other, and so on and so on and so on. And that's important. So my brothers and sisters, please do things for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala

00:46:07--> 00:46:07

you know,

00:46:10--> 00:46:16

and we'll leave it at that because I need to head to the hospital soon inshallah. And I haven't finished up okay.

00:46:18--> 00:46:26

The third thing is an akuna dairy Muslim and that the person who's inviting you is a Muslim.

00:46:28--> 00:46:32

And if the person is not a Muslim, then it is not

00:46:33--> 00:47:10

mandatory, it's not worded right for you to go to that wedding. Why? Because the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, How can you Muslim Island Muslim? He said that it is the right of a Muslim upon another Muslim, that they accept the Dawa the invitation of their Muslim brother or sister. Right? So that's one of the reasons or one of the times when it is not compulsory. Does that mean that we should not? No, it means that you have an excuse? Or a reason to decline that invitation number for

00:47:12--> 00:47:34

a lawyer Kunal case was that the earnings or the wealth right? That what that person does the person who's inviting you that what they earn is not something of how I'm no no one is telling you to go and investigate what someone else earns. But if someone is for example, a

00:47:36--> 00:47:40

Muslim who owns

00:47:41--> 00:47:47

clubs and bars that serve alcohol all night long for people to drink and get drunk and party and so on.

00:47:48--> 00:48:08

And there that is what they do. That's what they're known for. Or this person is known for something that is how long right earns in a way that is how long this person owns a casino. And I know some of you are saying but no Muslims do that. You're you're living in a fantasy. I you know, Muslims that own bars,

00:48:09--> 00:48:13

okay, own bars. Own nightclubs.

00:48:15--> 00:48:15

Okay.

00:48:17--> 00:48:31

I know, I know people that are involved in gambling, right, that sell gambling, they make their money and living off gambling. Right? Not that they gamble. They encourage gambling to towards others, okay?

00:48:34--> 00:49:19

And so on and so forth. So we shouldn't be living in this bubble that Oh, every Muslim is doing everything. 100% right. No, what do we talk about a Juma Today we are people, human beings, we make mistakes. Okay, so first off, don't judge a person. Okay, that's the first thing. Secondly, if we know that this person is doing something openly, clearly that is how long and wrong as in their earnings, right is coming directly and solely in or entirely from something that is how long and we should not go to that. Or sorry, then that gives us an an excuse to decline the invitation. Okay.

00:49:23--> 00:49:25

However, some of the scholars say

00:49:28--> 00:49:33

that if you're going to the wedding, and there's nothing hom happening at that wedding,

00:49:34--> 00:49:42

and yes, you know that that person is you know, what they do in their life is not permitted islamically

00:49:44--> 00:49:59

but the wedding itself will have no issues or the invitation the place that you're being invited to. There won't be anything. That's how long and everything will be in line with what Islam promotes and encourages. Then some scholars say you're

00:50:00--> 00:50:20

allowed to attend this wedding. Why? Because we are not responsible for what someone else is doing an earning, doing in order to earn their wealth. They are responsible for it. Okay. Now I know we would say, but we don't want to encourage it true, but think of the dour as well.

00:50:22--> 00:50:29

If someone is earning something that is how long from something that is how long, it's how long for them.

00:50:32--> 00:51:16

But it's not how long for us if they are Muslim, and they're giving us food. And the food is from a halal source. Right? Not talking about what is being purchased with the wealth that that person is earning is a different story, talking about the food being halal, there's nothing that's how I'm in it, the environment is halal, everything is fine. Then some scholars say you can go to that you can accept that invitation. And it might be a means of you encouraging others to come towards goodness and height. Right? They will see that you you have a heart that is understanding of people being weak in their weaknesses, all of us are weak. We're not saying that all those that are you know,

00:51:16--> 00:51:34

going are the better people. No, no, no, no, every single one of us is weak before Allah Subhana Allah, no one should have an ounce of arrogance within them. Okay, no one should feel an ounce of arrogance within them. And so have Allah you'll notice some things that are amazing. Sometimes I see some of my, you know, some of my

00:51:36--> 00:51:45

people who I follow on Instagram or on Facebook on social media, but I know as well personally other imams Misha from out from around the world.

00:51:46--> 00:51:52

Sometimes I see the things that they're, you know that they post and I wonder to myself, why would they do that.

00:51:53--> 00:51:55

But then, when you think of it,

00:51:56--> 00:52:14

yes, there's an element of bad in something not saying that they're doing something bad. But they may be with someone who is openly known for doing something that's no good. But the fact that they are posting it or they are with them, and they went to greet them and meet them as a Muslim brother or sister,

00:52:15--> 00:52:23

it shows that they are inviting them to come closer to a law that Allah wants goodness for you.

00:52:24--> 00:52:51

And so we need to understand, first of all, don't don't be judgmental of others, okay, don't judge a book by its cover, also. And at the end of the day, we don't need to be people that comment it every single social media post that we come across. If you see something that you like Alhamdulillah Marsh a lot of other color, if you see something that you don't like,

00:52:52--> 00:53:01

try to find something good in it. Because maybe the good in that outweighs the thing that you think is bad within it. Allah knows best.

00:53:03--> 00:53:09

I wish that I had more time to go into detail and in depth with certain things to panela. And to be honest,

00:53:11--> 00:53:23

there's still one too, you know, it will take two more things and then we'll call it a night. The next thing in Sharla that we'll look at with regards to so we're still falling through to 1234

00:53:24--> 00:53:30

times where a person can, you know, decline an invitation the fifth time is

00:53:31--> 00:53:35

a letter for one minute, Jennifer Scott word that

00:53:37--> 00:53:42

by accepting the invitation to the wedding, you're not

00:53:43--> 00:53:46

leaving off or rejecting or

00:53:49--> 00:53:57

discarding something that is more important for you too do in Islam, for example,

00:53:58--> 00:53:59

by

00:54:04--> 00:54:08

let me let me rephrase that, that you are not doing something

00:54:09--> 00:54:12

you're not How can I say this?

00:54:13--> 00:54:31

I'll try translating right in my mind. And I want to make it understandable. So the fifth time is that you are not leaving something that is more wajib to go and do something that is less wajib. Okay, what is more legit, for example,

00:54:36--> 00:54:47

fulfilling your Islamic obligations, right? A Salah, right? You're not going to miss us Allah in order to go to someone's wedding. And sadly,

00:54:49--> 00:54:51

my brothers and sisters sadly

00:54:53--> 00:54:55

there are many

00:54:58--> 00:55:00

there are many times

00:55:01--> 00:55:08

When we go to weddings, and we see people who

00:55:09--> 00:55:16

we see regularly in the masjid, or people who we know, pray they're sold out.

00:55:18--> 00:55:28

But because of the clothing they're wearing, that restricts them from making Whoo, I can't lift my sleeve up because it's too tight.

00:55:30--> 00:55:34

So I can't make whoo to pray at this wedding. So I'm not going to pray.

00:55:36--> 00:56:28

What that means is, I feel that it is more important for me to be dressed and look good and show to other people how I'm dressed and what I'm dressed in, than it is for me to turn in submit to Allah subhana wa Tada. And I'm not saying this out of just assumption. I've been to events many times where sisters will come to me, okay. And they will ask me, dude, what do I do? I need to pray. And I can't my, my sleeve is too tight, I would have to take off my whole dress. And if I take and I'm not talking about the bride, I'm talking about people who attended, sisters will come and ask this question, I would have to take off my dress, and it's too much work and my hair is gonna get messed

00:56:28--> 00:56:41

up, even though they're wearing Hijab to come and speak to me. You know, they're like, Oh, my hair is gonna get messed up, and it's too hard and I need someone to help me put it back on and where am I gonna hang it it's gonna get dirty though it'll touch the ground will be no Jessa on it.

00:56:43--> 00:57:14

My brothers and sisters, if that's the extent that we are going to in order to attend a wedding, then don't attend the wedding. It is better to decline attending the wedding because you know that you will miss your prayers because of what you want to wear to the wedding. It is better for you to stay home and pray that Salah or those Salah those prayers on time than to go to the wedding. And don't think it's only sisters. I'm going to pick on the brothers to I have brothers who say she

00:57:15--> 00:58:05

when I make such the my knees get worn on my suit and this suit cost me $1,000 I don't want to get marks on my knees home when I lay cannot do some handler This is the essence of what the prophet SAW no longer any usnm warned the people about that they're so worried to make such de so scared to make such done to a lot in Salah because their clothing might get dusty with the sand in the desert nowadays we say oh my crease is going to be messed up or my knees are going to have you know the the material is going to get a little faded and this is $1,000 suit or brothers saying when I make such them I because of the clothing they were made out of is exposed. Is it okay if I pray later when I

00:58:05--> 00:58:05

get home? I

00:58:07--> 00:58:54

had that Cola, right? Why? Why would you do that? Why would you even think that but we do think it right? That's how we are human beings. Right? So May Allah subhanho wa Taala strengthen us brothers and sisters leaving off sada I remember being so humble, I remember being at a conference as well. And an Islamic conference not at a wedding, where people you know what wedding people dress up really fancy nice and so on. I remember being at conferences, Islamic conferences, where community members come, but they've dressed up so nicely, they cannot remove their their clothing to wash their arms, sisters asking me you know, okay, there's a different thing with you know, not being

00:58:54--> 00:59:00

able to make find a private place to make where you can wipe over, you know your hair.

00:59:01--> 00:59:18

Because you'd have to remove your hijab, but there's a difference between that and you know, coming in saying, Oh, you know, is it okay if I just put my two fingers in and you know, just rinse up to here or you know, if I wet this material this material is the kind of material if I wet it

00:59:21--> 00:59:59

Oh, yes, and makeup, makeup. My makeups gonna get all messed up so I can make Lulu all pray all my prayers when I get home. No, you're missing your prayer. You miss one prayer and you delay it past the time. What happens if you die? When he has will be loved. May Allah save us look at the law right? Love God that Allah May Allah grant us long lives and forgive me for going on this, you know, rant but these are things we need to talk about my brothers and sisters, you know, going to an Islamic conference and learning about things that will spiritually motivate us. For people who knows

01:00:00--> 01:00:17

The most important thing first is Sana submitting your Sadat Yes, I'm not saying that, you know, people were already not praying, we're talking about people who were print who are praying, but like, Oh, my makeups gonna get messed up. So I'll go home and pray there. Help us.

01:00:19--> 01:00:27

Help us. And the last of the times, so 123456. So the sixth thing is

01:00:29--> 01:01:15

a lot of Amman, Donald on Island, Mujib missile, and yet he does suffer in that the invitation is not something that is too difficult or causes harm, or is a burden upon the person who's being invited, okay? That it is not a burden upon the person that is being invited. What is meant here is, for example, you invite someone to your wedding, they have to buy a plane ticket to fly there, they have to spend 1000s of dollars in hotels in transportation once they get there and food, right. And it's difficult and hard for them, and they have to leave their family. Or, for example, you invite someone and they have to travel a distance, but they need to leave their elderly mom or dad, or they

01:01:15--> 01:01:19

need to, you know that it's going to be difficult for them to,

01:01:20--> 01:01:30

you know, take time off of work or you know, that their finances are affected and so on. So if there's some sort of hardship that comes upon the person

01:01:32--> 01:01:42

by accepting that invitation, then that is a reason for them to decline humbly decline that invitation. Okay.

01:01:51--> 01:02:05

Call us. That's all the time that we have for today in sha Allah to Allah, forgive me if, if anyone felt that I was, you know, being offensive or said anything that was wrong or harsh. It's not my intention to upset or to

01:02:07--> 01:02:50

offend anybody. My intention is to get the message across, and to try and do it in a respectful way. And also to be light hearted, right? Look, we are all learning together. That's why we're here. We're all learning together. We are all trying to be better people. So don't think for a moment. Oh, you know, if I can't do these things, then forget it. I'm not going to be Muslim or I'm not going to be around these people. No, we should look at it as a you know what? This group of people here, they want to help me. They want goodness for me and they will be patient with helping me to become better. Right? Because we will. We will that's that's that's what we tried to do. That's who the

01:02:50--> 01:03:10

Muslim is. The Muslim is someone that is encouraging another to be good. I'm a little bit marital with the ruler severely Arabic bill hikma, invade people to the way of using hikma while most of ITIL has Anna right and with good kind words and advice.

01:03:13--> 01:03:14

Which deal whom? bility here.

01:03:16--> 01:03:16

Okay.

01:03:19--> 01:03:38

Sorry, just saw something come in. So my brothers and sisters, just from a local feed and about a local few come. That's where we will stop for today. I had planned on doing a little bit more. But hamdulillah I like when we go into detail on things right? I like when we go into detail on certain things.

01:03:40--> 01:03:42

I'm just going to write the date here.

01:03:51--> 01:03:53

And I have some good news. So don't go yet. Okay.

01:03:57--> 01:04:35

So the good news was and I mentioned that I mentioned other good news at Jumeirah that in Australia, you know, we'll handle it No, sorry, correction not in Australia, not the whole country. But in Sydney, the massage today at Juma they prayed shoulder to shoulder on the law right shoulder to shoulder for the first time in a long time. So that was something amazing that I wanted to share. And today it seems as though an announcement was made that insha Allah insha Allah This is not an announcement. This is nothing official. But it seems as though an announcement was made by the provincial government that the stay at home order

01:04:36--> 01:04:59

will be removed in certain regions. So we're hoping that that brings some goodness towards us very soon inshallah to Allah. We don't have any further details yet as of what exactly that will entail and look like in terms of massages and so on. But we have hope and we are trusting the loss of hanway to Allah to bless us with what is best for us mean Jazakallah Hayden well barakallahu

01:05:00--> 01:05:34

Come on Allahu wa sallam all American and Amina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi wa salim, forgive me I'm not going to be doing a q&a today and I know you usually like to do in a q&a probably want to do one today, but I need to head over to the hospital inshallah to visit someone, so please do forgive me, and we'll take some questions next time. And also remember Sunday night 8pm. We have our essential thick class and we started the chapter on business transactions. So join us on Wednesday, sorry on Sunday night at 8pm does icon located in the cinema