Problems Facing Muslim Women Part 2
Channel: Bilal Philips
File Size: 6.35MB
Episode Transcript ©
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The Weekend fulfill the Hadith of the Messenger of Allah, you're not believing you love me above what you love for yourself.
So this causes a problem for the Muslim women in our own must. Because shape time will take advantage of this and make her as the most look at somebody a
big problem for you now brother
at the leaf maker,
not getting the fruit of
the fruit of Nika.
Then she goes on, don't give me mixed messages about my sexuality, and more uncertain about it, then you are
I have been raised to believe that men would not respect me if I were openly sexy. This is a careful woman speaking.
I may be confused when I see you attracted to seductive women yet critical of me if I've been provocative.
all women have to cover everything with the hands of the face, and those who cover their faces, and somebody nodded at me.
And then, when we're driving in the car, when nobody sees except for losses in your life,
you turn two and three and four times which is illegal. I do not enjoy making girls, the little dresses on. And this causes a problem for your life.
Don't keep me on a pedestal. Trust me enough to be open with me about
your caring example, will help me overcome my reluctance to do the same.
toss the ball and then fine with me in the way I feel that
what we're saying was so near the ball, she's saying, and then you don't like the way I deal with the ball.
Criticism coming from you was so important to me. Because you're important to me. She said, He will. My self esteem and leaves me feeling that I can't do anything well, that I can do nothing. Well. You don't want to brothers, you don't want to be over your wife in a sense that she feels like that she's so incompetent, and so inadequate, and she can't do anything wait.
You will see how much more self confident and productive I am. When we both recognize my right to do my tasks my way.
If I am rushed and distracted, try not to interpret my actions as rejection, or lack of caring at times or pressures that I don't welcome either. When you put other priorities ahead of me, I tried to tell myself that you have a reason to do so.
That it doesn't mean you don't care for me. two adults don't need constant reassurance of each other's commitment and devotion.
I'll read this again.
Though, need constant reassurance of each other's commitment and devotion.
The next one's other is extremely important.
Be careful to say what you mean.
Be careful to say what you mean.
Please don't make outrageous statements that are heard and expect me to forget them.
Believe it or
not. Another problem is that the women in the Islamic community believe it brothers, women thrive off of two basic things. And Islamic marriage. Maybe more maybe some of you know better than I do. Probably you do. But one of them is trust
and security. The third could be honesty, brothers, the average woman doesn't want in diamonds and big guards and then nice to have
big houses and a whole lot of shoes in a nice bath and humbly that you should get them through. Because the best Dean out of the profit system relies on them. The knowledge of spending Jihad on your animals, the best Dino and we'll say here dollar is the dinar that you spend on your family. That's the best money that you could spend. The one you spend in your family and family. Firstly, your wife.
Mother when you have a woman who trust you to do anything for you
If he trusts you, she will do anything for you. The average woman is like, this is the nature of a woman. And then she feels number two, for pure with you, she'll do anything for you, you have the you have the best of women. But once that trust is gone, once that feeling of maturity is gone, and that honesty is gone. If you're not honest, if you don't keep your promises, if you know that you can't do what you're saying you're going to do, don't tell if you're going to do it.
Please don't make outrageous statements at home, expect me to forgive them, or make huge promises that you never carry out. And then you wonder why she's grumpy. You wonder why when you come home, she hasn't fulfilled the fullness of the profits of the law, and beautifying herself looking I have putting some halau makeup on and lipstick,
clean that nice dress that she has on or whatever or lack of it.
You wonder why she's like this
is because you don't keep your promises. You don't carry out the thing that you're supposed to carry out, will cause a problem.
I take seriously your order to get off my back when you're angry. And I look for the flowers. You promised the sin when you are affectionate.
And affectionate affection doesn't mean brothers, while you're being intimate. You tell her you love her and outside of the bed, you'd never tell him you love him.
For women, No brother. And they're very sensitive.
They know. And they feel the word I love you outside of the bird and
I'm not a woman.
Let's say I love you just picking up the phone when you're at the job, busy day and saying we are just thinking about you I love you so much.
Common and you
don't put the burden of death on it, go to your address.
Put the card in the mail, the stamp on the input Amanda says I love you. And I'm just thinking about the many good years that we've had together. And when she goes to the mailbox, I want to read it with your left hand if you're left handed and right handed or opposite, so she won't know who it's coming from. But she knows your handwriting.
She sees it You may be at the table with or even wherever she sees a
tremendous benefit for your marriage. It will relieve and alleviate the problem for the Muslim woman.
I'm still praying myself that people will deal with the truth when they're angry. And this is true.
I remember one sister complaining to me.
Because she was pregnant. She was sitting on the steps at a time she was about eight months pregnant. And you know when sisters are pregnant, sometimes those were bigger than usual and can't sit with their legs closed. Sometimes she was sitting on the steps in the apartment building one time waiting coming out of one of the relative's house. These are all true stories. And she said that our husbands
in front of a camera relative to like sitting like a foot
in the ground. Welcome to Hogan, even
if you were rude and harsh of a heart, you would run away from you. And then we wonder why we have some systems.
We're going to churches. I don't know if you have that problem down here.
Up north we have some sisters who have attended churches looking for men going to this school wouldn't permit
going to bars discos or going out right? I don't know, looking for other men looking for something else, because we're not sensitive.
she says I still tell myself that people reveal the truth when they're angry. And that unkept promises show insincerity. Even when I try to avoid it, I feel a distancing from these
or coldness creeps into the way that I relate to you.
And I'll end it here because the last statement that she made is about women's liberation. And Islam is the woman whose liberation, I came out to read that poem
as for the rights of the women,
has pointed these things out very clear, in very clear terms.
And as we mentioned earlier, the rights of the woman is the obligation of the men. And that is a remarkable parallel dialysis, regardless of where Muna nissa the men are the maintainers, and protectors and supervisors and providers of the women.
In that obligation, that means she has the right
to these things.
And once again, one of the problems of the eggs, the problems of the Muslim woman is our ignorance, as we mentioned in the first part.
Thank you, this will lie, man.
going maintenance to marry a brother when he wants to take another way.
Stop relinquishing the weight that you have to maintenance, just so you can get married. Stop it
if you can't afford what you want, because the best value is the easiest one to pay in the follow up to the life of a low, as he said,
then ask for something less, where you can fulfill the rest of the product that surprises contract.
But make sure that you get what is your rate.
If you have an income of $125,000 a year,
and your husband earns $20,000 a year, what is is yours and what yours is yours.
And he should not take anything from your money to provide for you that is a right that you have and use systems to ignorance
or relinquishing these things and you don't have the power to do it. Because the right that is on you. And the obligation that is on your husband to take care of you has been put on his shoulders by our law and you cannot remove an obligation within your rights that Allah has put on you. I repeat, you don't have the right to remove your weight
which is the opposite of the obligation from your husband to you. You don't have that right.
Stop doing it when you do this. This will eventually and Allah knows best cause a big problem
if you're told that the brother has a history of life abuse
Don't be foolish and rushed into that marriage with this man
this is insane
profit from the Marty was selling for him up in La Jolla Wanda when she approached him to marry a man don't marry him she wanted to marry someone so I think it was
someone from this family
my memory doesn't serve me correctly now. He said don't marry him because he carries a stick on his shoulder.
to shoulder means he beaten women
don't marry him because he's not going to stick on his shoulder.
And he said don't matter though. Because
is this this is tight, which means he doesn't spin on his women.
But marathon so and incidentally brothers is a definitely system, the Hadees that collected in magic
that a man will not be questioned as to why he beat his wife. The chain of the TARDIS is unauthentic you should not use it to happy is he
is not authentic. Don't try to use a heartbeat on the law you beaten.
A man will not be questioned concerning him beating his wife, Heidi did not offend, you will be questioned.
The other rights that you have
is similar to yours.
Even though it's not implicit is not explicitly mentioned. You have the right as the right as we mentioned, the sexual fulfillment. And we know the famous heartbeat which is authentic that the prophet SAW when a man calls his wife even if she does the other thing
is she has to respond to this call. Not that you have to respond to her calls if she calls you but if you love the above
What you love for yourself, if you love for your sister what you love for yourself, you will fulfill her needs. Also, she has that right.
She also has the right not to clean the house, believe it or not.
She also has the right not to wash your clothes, she also has the right not to cook your food. And the responsibility is on you. Although some difference of opinion in this, it seems as though the strongest of opinion is, is that you can have you can you can get her a maid.
Of course in our economic situation to me, that's not the brothers do it by getting the the wife and the wife in to do the cleaning. That was easy.
But she had she doesn't have the obligation to do these things. The obligation is on the men. And I can say to many different hobbies that are far from the profit and loss, the huddle, a testified to this or testified to this.
But of course, it is highly recommended for her to do these things. Because your duty is to provide for her duties, the opposite is to maintain those things that you're providing for her. So she should do these things. But don't force her to do these things. Because the best one among us, men did his own clothes, and milk his own animals and sometimes cooked his own food. His name is Mohammed Abdullah, the prophet of Allah will love it.
And believe me brothers, even more than those mink coats and that BMW, come in the house a couple of days in a row and wash the dishes for her when they're all piled up and see what kind of reaction you get. Take that vacuum cleaner.
And just clean up
your dish when you finish eating your own dish and washing
and drying the dishes when she watches it. And things similar to this, believe me, brother, this will alleviate the problems of the Muslim woman in this
conclusion, because I'm going way over the time.
And I don't have a white throne, you put the time when I don't have a watch company left
up here for some reason.
In my conclusion,
I would like to say that
a loss of final data
has given the woman
another write which is extremely important.
And that right is
I've been told that we need to stop here and we want to discuss what is this next right that I was going to mention, inshallah we can discuss it.
can actually collect.
Okay, we're going to have approximately a half an hour for questions and answers. And then we're going to break and
after that we will proceed with the next topic, which will be teenagers in this lab. So I have
two questions to to begin with. The first is I believe that the questions back there when you're finished, and you're ready for these questions, would you quickly tackle
the first question
that is having an affair with a non Muslim woman and he is Muslim?
And I want to go to the next question because an answer to the first lesson will probably be very brief.
What should we
do to correct this problem? If he is wrong? If you have been doing wrong things to his wife
quote unquote, the word that the Khokhar use to try to glaze it over and make it look less abominable. snare is how long
don't say affair they've been
and incidentally brothers and sisters
The word Vina encompasses adultery, and fornication, and adultery unbeknown to many of us is number one, or when a man is married, or woman is married presently, and they have this illegal sexual acts with someone else.
widow or widower, or the birth, and they have that act.
They commit that act, I'll say it again, don't be disillusioned, according to the Sharia, the Islamic law,
adultery is either you've been married, or you are married.
quantitation is only by the version we've never been married.
And the second part of the question,
what can be done about this? If you know that this is a fact.
Then you need to approach the individual, the husband or the wife who's doing it
as a team, the facts
from the individual, if they will admit it.
And if they don't admit it, and you have no proof, then you seek revert to the law. And you ask a law if you feel uncomfortable, to make your situation easy. And if not to remove you from that.
Does a woman have an obligation to
her husband? In all halau? matters? The first question.
The second question is, what kind of sister or the community about a brother who really bitter and learn can an outsider step in?
Yes, a woman has the obligation.
A woman has the obligation to obey her husband, in
not all halau thing. But
for instance, if your husband
tells you to
let's think of one that maybe none of us would disagree with.
Your husband tells you to buy dawn dishwashing liquid
And, of course,
of course, things have pork and anything like that, please disregard what I said,
when he tells you to buy Heinz ketchup instead of 100,
then you should do it.
You should do this.
This is something that's allowed, and he's telling you to do it. Whatever reason he's telling you.
He's telling you to do it, don't do it. You're dead. So bam.
This is a very important aspect of this marital situation in Islam. And it causes a problem because Christians don't know that they have no faith.
Even in a lot of things, even if things are not missing.
At the same time, the brother should be very aware and sensitive to not make his wife
do what an authentic Heidi says to do. And an authentic hadith says to do that if he tells us to go to a White Mountain and bring a black rock, she has to do it.
Be reasonable. A lot of Allah says Allah says now you can leave him alone with nothing he left with
a lot of not put a responsibility on a on a person more than they can bear. If a lot of them do this, why do you want to help your wife I want to commend your wife to do something that she's incapable of doing.
tell your wife to try to make your wife do something apply or to do something that you probably can't even do. This is ridiculous. This causes a problem for them.
And the second one
What can the sister do? Or the community do about a brother who truly vieta
and what's going on outside Lincoln and outside of stuff in the ma'am.
Plural if possible, if there's a good working relationship with the massage, the Nam flow to be contacted after your email to be contacted.
And they, as we say in the streets
they suspected him
If that doesn't work,
in my humble estimation, brothers may not like it, call the police.
Call the police is the only thing about this man's duty brutalizing you then
we have some questions from Sisters now.
is radical ugly sisters have to cover what about brothers?
In other words, somebody to do another Islamic thing.
And I guess islamically the sister said what she has to cover about her husband?
No, that's not what that's not what this is talking about. It says rather than doing an Islamic thing, and hide in the masjid, go into discos, etc. So, in terms of islamically since this has to cover what about brothers, this is what I'm gaining from this, like in terms of covering what the glue in Leavenworth is and I am I getting what you're you're asking, Are you talking about clothing
people out in the community