Home Sweet Home #2 Parents and Relatives
Channel: Bilal Assad
File Size: 44.09MB
And today Insha Allah, we're going to go quickly
through the most important
topics about a home sweet home or a good family, a healthy family in accordance with the life of the prophet muhammad sallallahu wasallam and in accordance with the guidance in the Quran, so this is from an Islamic perspective. I'm going to refer today in sha Allah tonight, to the Sierra, the life and the home of the family of the prophets Allah wa sallam about how he interacted with his children, with other children, how interacted with his wives, how they interacted with him, how he was to his parents, to his mother, and to those who are around him in place of his mother to his uncles and aunts. I'm going to talk about how briefly he interacts with his in laws, and about the
advice that and also with his relatives and cousins. We're going to relate his life and the stories in sha Allah that we're going to enjoy tonight to how we can practice them in our life.
Allah says in the Quran
Altavilla him in a shaytani R rajim Bismillah R Rahman r Rahim
Fie Iran Sunni. He was what one has, to Lehmann Kana I am June law one woman
whether God Allah fie.
Allah says in the Quran, that has come to you, the best example and role model
in the Messenger of Allah,
but only for those who hope
for the best in the Hereafter.
to get closer to Allah
and to meet him and see him in the Hereafter.
And remember Allah tremendously.
It's the people who remember Allah. It's the people who are connected to Allah. It's the people who believe in Allah, it's the people who fear Allah, it's people who love Allah. It's the people who anticipate paradise and meeting Allah in the hereafter.
It's those types of people that Allah says, for them, comes the greatest role model in Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam, the Messenger of Allah.
So we are talking to those people who take him as a role model. And through him in the later Island through all of Allah's messengers and their guidance, we meet Allah, and we are successful in this world and the hereafter.
Since we talked about the children's rights last week, I want to now begin with a few stories from the Prophet sallallahu Sallam Xlife, about his interaction with children around him, and teenagers. And then I'm going to go to talk about our duty as children towards our parents, followed by our duties towards our relatives and cousins, then our duty
towards our spouses, husband towards his wife, the wife towards her husband. And in that we will talk about how to balance and manage our relationship with the inlaws.
So my Allah's fan dialer, assist me and forgive me for my mistakes and make me successful in relaying the correct message to you and hope Inshallah, it's helpful. So now, I want to begin with a very special
and interesting and beautiful story
of a young man who was a Sahabi, a companion. He was a teenager, and he was about 16 years old.
I chose this particular component for companion because I want to talk about the teenagers and then relate it to how us as parents and in the community, should we need to look after our teenagers. This particular teenagers name was a ball Mathura you know, the Arabs that always use the elbows a lot. So you had a nickname called Abu Mathura. And the Arabs in those days used to create men out of youngsters at an early age by calling them a name of respect. So to say Obama has aura, or if it was a girl on mama Hedorah you're making out of young people, teenagers, adults, you're making them more mature just by giving them a mature and respectful name.
This young man Abu Mathura, however, still had the teenage characteristics. As you all know, teenagers, their front part of their brain is still growing.
It's called the prefrontal cortex, and it's responsible for decision making
The rationale right and wrong
motivation, making decisions. It's still growing until 25.
So he was what we call a feta or a hula. And in the Arabic language of hula, Mara feta is someone from the age of puberty, all the way till about 19 or even 25.
The hadith is isn't a necessity and even a measure and Ahmed it's an authentic hadith, this young man, Abu Mathura, he's the one who narrated to us his story. And he says, I lived in Mecca, and my parents are from Mecca, and I was still a disbeliever. At that time. The Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu wasallam had left Mecca to go on a battle called the Battle of her name. And we thought he was out of Makkah. So he lived in Medina, but we thought he's not now around in Mecca. And as you know, the Muslims had reconquered Mecca, and they were the authority and the government of Mecca. And the Prophet sallallahu sallam was merciful and kind and compassionate. We know the story of how we
treated the enemies who fought him, he freed them and told them, nothing will harm you, you are free when he entered. But unfortunately, there were people who still had hatred to the Prophet sallallahu Sallam just because they don't like the Islam or they have heard bad things about Islam and they've got this idea like what we have today, people make all sorts of comments about Muslims and Islam and our prophets Allah salaam, without really knowing much only surface knowledge and hatred. So brothers and sisters, this young man had hatred to the Prophet Salah Salem, and he particularly had had hatred to the other then the other one is the call to prayer. Why? Because it's loud. And we
call five times a day. Maybe this young man wanted to go to sleep in the morning and we want to hear the other. He says as we were walking towards Mecca with a he says with a group of my friends who are teenagers as well 1516 The Prophets Allah Selim had entered Makkah, and we didn't know. And it was time for Salette in the daytime, and he said to one of his mothers to call the event. When the mother then called the event in Makkah, he said, My friends and I began to tease and mock the event, we started to mimic it, and raise our voices making all sorts of noises. My friends started to tease the event. Tease the way they say Allahu Akbar, do you can imagine, and he said My voice was the
loudest, loudest and stood out among them and I had a nice voice, I had a clear, loud voice, and I also teased and mock the Adana started mimicking it.
As we approach the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam heard us and so he sent one of he sent his companions to us to grab us and bring us to him. So go get me those teenagers who are mimicking that are then
he said, he brought us and we all had to come in and we were caught, obviously, they're the authority. He said, When I stood in front of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam looking at him, I couldn't look at his face. He had such an aura. And what we call Haber, it's hard to look at the precise sentence face, you have to respect him. He said, I thought he was going to kill us, literally, because they've just come from the battlefield and still got their swords. And they're the authority mocking his religion. He's going to kill us, or he's going to punish us or do something bad.
He said, he came up to us. And He said to all of us, which one of you was raising his voice the most? He said, all my friends pointed to me. They threw me under the bus. They snitched on me. He said, but it was true. My voice was the loudest and mine reached the furthest. So the prophets, Allah Salam said to my friends, okay, all of you go away.
It didn't say a single bad words and just just go and leave me with this. Obama. Hazara said, come here. Well, my daughter
said, Well, you're the one with the loud voice. He said, Yes. He said, I found your voice impressive. It's actually very nice. You have a talent, young men. And he smiled to him.
The boy thought to himself, I didn't expect that. They told me he's a bad man.
The prophets Allah Azza lambin. He said, he took a little bag and gave it to me. I looked in the bag and he had some silver coins. You will know why soon. And then he said to me, I want you to repeat after me these words. So basically gave him the silver coins. Because it meant I want a favor back
this for that, because prophesy Selim knew that he hated the then and he doesn't want to say it probably sounds to be fair to him and say here is a bag of coins. And it's also a gesture that he's thinking of employing him if he passes the test.
So he says to him, repeat after me, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. He said, he said, You gotta let you raise your voice the way you were doing it before. So he raised his voice really nice. Then he went through the entire event one by one, until he finished it and he said, I'm memorize that and the way that works is that I'm taught me with my with my loud and fire
Reaching, distinctive voice. And then he put his hand on my forehead here. I had a bit of hair on my phone and put it on my forehead. And then he wiped my forehead and then wipe my face gently. Then he wiped my chest and my heart. And then he wiped my where my liver is and then across to my stomach and lift me. And he said to me, Barak, Allahu fique, were bricked. May Allah bless through you, and may Allah make you a blessing.
And then I left.
It said, when I left, I went to think about what the process, Alam said.
And I came back and asked him about Islam.
And my love for this man, because he will Allah He was the most hated person to me in the world. After that moment, he became the most beloved to me in that world. And then was the most hated to me. After that it became the most beloved to me. And I said to him, I bear witness that there is only one God worthy of worship knew I was messenger, a messenger of Allah. Are you trying to employ me is that when he gave me the bag? And he said, Yes. Do you take the offer? said yes, I do. He says, I've employed you as the main more than of maca.
And truly, Obama has already accepted the job. And he became the authority and then of Maccha there were four Biller, galanos from Edina, and he was from Africa. The other two I forgot but
but Mahathir was known throughout Islamic history. He was the fourth whatever then of Makkah, and he died when he was 59 years old all that time.
Now, brothers sisters, this incident by itself tells us so much about how to treat our teenagers and youngsters, so many lessons, but I'll just say two of them. Number one, but also SLM, did not judge him or reprimand him, he knew that he's a teenager still learning. Instead, he employed his talent, and made it known in front of everybody, that you have a talent. And that's one of the ways you can deal with your children and your relatives. As if you're a teacher, for example, with your students, if they're teenagers, find a skill in them, even if they're silly, and bring them and say if you if you've got talent, and you're able to be creative brothers and sisters, you can employ the talents
of your children, especially if they're teenagers, and make it shine so that they can feel valuable and special. Everybody has a talent, grab it manifested and employ it.
And that is what the Prophet sallallahu Sallam did with this teenager. sallallahu alayhi wa early he was salam as Allah says
in central O Muhammad, except as a mercy to the world's the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had therefore good treatment to his family, his children and the children around him and all the people around him.
How did the children remember the Prophet sallallahu wasallam they always remembered him as the smiling man. And he was known Allah was held by Shoosh the cheerful face, even his wives, I showed her the Allahu anha. She was asked how was he when he entered the home? He Said, She Said, Gerber, Shoshana was he, he was always he always had a chip on his face.
And he's and she said that he used to come in and assist us and help us and he would look after his own belongings and his own service, he would sometimes mend his shoe and so his clothing and make his milk and drink for himself and not ask us to do anything for him. So we served them and we love serving him so Allah Allah
the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was remembered for his smile. And the evidence to that is those who described the prophets Allah said lambs face.
Guess who all the narration is about the prophesy said lambs features came from children. Number one, the hadith of his gay when aerated by the teenagers and children, and secondly, by women.
As for the men,
I'm gonna last for example, he says, I was about 40. When I saw the Prophet SAW Selim, when I became a Muslim, he goes Wallahi I could not look at his face. And every time I saw him, I could barely look at him. Out of respect. That's why I couldn't describe him.
But the children, they stare
I think I told you this story once walked into a house, a little child looks at me and goes, you've got a big nose.
So there's some I do have a big nose and I'm proud of it said, because I got big eyebrows about himself. He says if you're happy, but he knows I'm happy about your resume. You should be proud of that. The point that I'm making is that children know
Just little things.
So that was also send them. The children felt safe around him. They loved him, and I remembered him as the cheerful person.
It was also Allah Allah wa sallam. The way he showed his love for the children and made them feel important is that he shared their interests. I'll give you an example. And so the Allahu Anhu was a young companion when he served the Prophet Allah Selim, he was 10 years old. Until when the prophets Allah Salam died, which is a few years. And so the Allahu Anhu says, I had a brother who was younger than me, who had just become aware to make differences. So he was about seven or eight years old, and he had a bird called a nail, and no rain. It's like a sparrow. And whenever the Prophet sallallahu Sallam saw my brother, seven or eight years old, he would smile and the only thing he
would ask him
he used to call him
Ebola male, from a young age Yeah, abou mayor,
Ahmad and Omega to make him feel a bit older, and more mature, yeah, about our male mother file, and no later, he would rhyme it. Because that's what children like. If children can see that you can come to their level, then they connect with you better. So fathers and mothers, get down to the level of your children
and be with them like that, even if they make mistakes, smile. But also, as I said, here about oh my mother file and no date every time you see him. Tell me about the bird that you have. What did it do today? Sharing his interest and the childhood speak to the prophets Allah Selim a lot. Why didn't the prophets Allah Salam lecture him?
Because children observe their copy sorrows. Also our Salem wanted this child to be interested in talking with the process and while is watching how the Prophet moves and talks, and the child learned the character of the process, and his demeanor,
in his tone of voice, in the way he moved his eyes, the way he smiled the way he paid attention, his developing that young boy
one day then later died.
He started crying.
And it looks like the parents and people around him didn't give him him much support because the Arabs were quite rough in those days.
A boy doesn't really cry. It's only a bird
or a salsa. Selim goes to him, sits with him, puts his arm around him. And he says, Tell me about the bird. Tell me about its story and its life.
Memories, his pay and condolences for the death of his bird.
Do you think this boy will ever forget that?
What memories will you place in your children and the children around you? I remember once praying here in this Masjid when I was 1111 years old. Oh, my moustache was just starting to show. Little tiny mozzie right there. Very small. And I felt like a man because my dad made me feel like a man.
And I wanted to sit in the front row.
That day. My father bought me the ultra near the Saudi one white. I felt like a shame. I wore it and came and sat here I wanted to pray was Ramadan.
And I remember a man coming and looking at all of us and saying to all the children go to the back, go to the back.
I'm looking I put this little face on I said I'm innocent. He looks at me deciding is he old enough? Yes. Go to the back.
So don't want to say go to the back. I got scared.
I haven't forgotten it till today.
Well, I haven't forgotten until today. It sounds sad. But also at the same time it's important. A child remembers.
But I remember my father's friend when I made a mistake in my Quran.
And then my father said you made a mistake and he smiled. Then his friend said to me, You're a champion. Allah wish if my children can become like you.
I still remember it till today. He made me feel amazing.
A friend of mine the other day said to me, my little boy, he calls me up and says my little daughter asked me about your said she doesn't know my name. Because no, no, no. She said, Where's the man that smiles?
I said, children remember a person who smile to them?
In a good way, not in a creepy way.
So my brothers and sisters, we have to say these things these these days
are also SLM when so much to say Don't even lie to kids, lying to kids about anything. And I remember talking about how our parents lied to us. Well, not Well, they didn't mean to lie that they're meant to teach us respect about putting away our prayer mat and our shoes and all that stuff. And that's all good. That's all good. You know, it's telling us to keep things tidy and clean. But then they attach all these fears about shaytaan doing things to it and whatever
We're not allowed to make up things like that. And Ross also sell them once he says that
a young man called Abdullah ibn Ahmad Allah and he was about 12 years old. He said my mother once called me
and the prophets, Allah Salam was visiting us in our house. He was visiting us in our house. And my mother called me, Abdullah Namo says, My mother called me in my house.
And she said, Come, Abdullah, I want to give you something.
She, she wanted to move him away so that the prophets Allah send them can have his space with the other men. So she said to him, can you come and give him space? I want to give you something. I also saw Selim looked at and said,
Are you really going to give him something is she said, Yes. That was later on, and then not sorry. He said, he said to my mother,
are you going to give him something? And she said, Yes. And he said, Emma inna que lo num Tati, he Shea and cocoa butter Laker diba if you don't give him something, it would be written against you as a lie.
So can you imagine our children absolute honesty insha Allah.
I'll have someone who's seen his grandchildren, used to enter the masjid and climb on top on top of the prophets of Allah salams back as you all know the story, the Sahaba say, sorry, the Hadith in Sahih Muslim. They said we all went to sujood and the prophets of Allah salaam prolonged double triple the time we were about to lift our heads to see if something had happened to the Prophet sallallahu wasallam and after we finished Ross was awesome turned and he said my grandchildren came and climbed on top of my shoulders. They were two or two years old, and I didn't want to harm them and ruin the enjoyment. La ilaha illallah sal Allahu Allah aka Habibi, Rasul Allah
kindness and mercy to even non Muslim children. Plus also our Salam had a Jewish neighbor, and he had a son the Hadith isn't Buhari and the son used to like to serve the prophets, Allah sunnah. Mr. Gornstein, what can I do for you? What can I do for you, he loved him, who will be the neighbor of the possible last, and I'm loving this young boy, who's also our self image to teach him about Islam and tried to tell him to become a Muslim, then he grew up and became a teenager, who lamb so it was about 1819 years old, and Subhanallah he got sick and he was about to die. And also I sent them went and visited him. And he said to him,
you know, that I come with the truth and you've already seen, I offer you, Islam to be saved. And I want to see you in paradise in the meaning of those words. So the boy looked at his father or the young man looked at his father and his father, the Jewish man who had known the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he said to him accountable Qasim. LISTEN, OBEY Abell Qasim I will call him was the nickname of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. Because his father knew the Prophet Allah Salam was kind merciful on the truth. And the the young man said the shahada and died with the Shahada. So you can see how he was even with the non Muslims.
And he was pleasant, they didn't force it upon him, but he treated him well all his life. But also Salah Salem, he encouraged us to care for girls, especially for girls, because in those times in the majority of the work world today, there's still this favoritism of boys above the girls. So the Prophet Sall Allahu alayhi, wa sallam, he said, Whoever cares for and looks after two girls, any two girls, so your daughters, or you foster them, any two girls who you look after, let's say girls, or orphans, for example, had that a blue ha until they reach puberty, he or she will come on the Day of Judgment.
Me and him and her together on the same plane.
And he made and he did this with his fingers, we will be together. Wherever I go, you'll be there with me. The hadith is insane Muslim. So if you have daughters, and you raised them on the piety and righteousness and goodness, and you protect them and provide for them and give them safety and you honor them
are also assalamu with you.
And in another Hadith, there will be your protection from any punishment you deserve.
That will be used to protect you and be forgiven.
One woman said Yeah, Rasul Allah, I had one daughter, who died. He said, If you are patient, she will be your God on the day of judgment.
Or a boy.
The Prophet sallallahu wasallam used to treat his daughters he only had daughters and he had one son that died and one before it is narrated before he became a prophet. His four daughters were fought him as Annabelle Moctezuma Rocha or the Allahu Anhu Najma and he loved Fatima the most
which teaches us that you must treat your children equally. But you can love one more than the other. That's something you cannot control. But don't show that love in front of your children or behind their backs more so don't favor them with extra care, but you can love them more.
Whenever thought the amount of the Allahu Ana she was the youngest, whenever she entered, and the prophets of Allah Salam was sitting, he would get up with a cheerful face, go up to her, kiss her on her forehead, and then he would place her in his place.
He made her feel grant, amazing.
And that is why when the prophets Allah salaam, died, she was the only one left his other three daughters died and he buried them all. So the Lord he was
he buried all his daughters, and he cried for them and he went through a lot. And his daughter, Fatima. She used to come in, and when he was sick, he usually always got up this time he didn't get up and she fell to the ground crying, saying to Alcoa, Kenya, yeah, Abby, are you going through immense pain? You said yes. It's okay. There is no more pain upon your father after this day. And there's it's a long story, because she knew he would get up he would never fail to get up. That means that day he became unable to stand. Do you understand brothers and sisters, the Ananda the compassion and the mercy that Russell said I'm showing, even in times of firmness, he used to say to
them firmly, but kindly, he would not just let them get away with it. Of course they didn't. So for example, was was a teenager and used to say to him for 10 on anti Yamaha's, he used to do something that was caused a bit of trouble with people and then his sister said to him, Are you a troublemaker in life? Do you like making people fight?
He said No, you're a solo I said, then do this and do that. So something let children get away with it but the way he did it was with compassion.
My brothers and sisters and lastly, he used to get the consent of his daughters before marriage, every single one of his daughters were not married without their consent and was also asked to take them aside and make sure that his daughter truly and honestly wants this man he married earlier the Allahu Anhu is first cousin to His most beloved Fatima and he married two of his daughters to Earth man are the Allahu and Zainab Radi Allahu anha. To a man who had who had converted to Islam later on, we'll come to her insha Allah because I have a good story about it. We move on now, brothers and sisters, and now we come to the story of the parents. I'm not going to say too much because
everybody understands but I'm going to say really sharp words and important words, even for people whose parents are a little bit harsh and you're not getting along with them. Brothers and sisters please listen and be patient with me. Allah subhanaw taala said and sort of look man verse 14 to 15 while slain in Santa beware any day Herman it's
not a new song. Offense on home fee I mean, any score anyone anywhere any day you got, you know, yeah, and mostly we're
to shrink the money's not gonna be here anymore find out whom
well saw hidden whom feed duniya Mouni what sebelum and a zoom in a mobile jiankou for own a bit Oh Can
don't doubt women. And we have commanded people to honor their parents,
their mothers, their mothers, bore them through hardship upon hardship.
And then winning takes two years. So be grateful to me and to your parents, to me is the final return. But if they your parents pressure you to associate with me, what you have no knowledge of
many they force you into things that are haram, do not obey them.
Still, keep their company in this world courteously, and follow the way of those who turned to me in devotion, then to me, you will all return your parents and the children or return I'll judge between you.
And then I will inform you of what you all used to do.
Your parents will be judged and you will be judged. What should you be looking out for brothers and sisters, I'm talking to the young people now.
Your duty is to do your part towards your parents because that's what Allah is going to ask you about within your capacity and within your ability.
So you do your part, and parents you do your part.
Allah clearly says he have the disbelievers in pressuring you to disobey me. Don't listen to them. So there are boundaries, it doesn't mean you have to obey them in everything. And there is no verse in the Quran where Allah tells you obey your parents. The word used in the Quran and Hadith are always better.
The word bearer, my dear brothers and sisters does not mean obedience. Because there are things you don't have to obey them in.
Bearer, means kindness,
courtesy, and goodness, to give them more than their rights, from what you can, from your wealth, from your service, from your goodness, from your kindness, and from your forgiveness, and to let go of their shortcomings and not point at it. Among the things of better goodness and kindness to the parents, is to not raise your voice above this, even if they raise their voice, Allah will judge them.
And if they raise their voice, if there's a good reason, they have the right, you don't raise your voice above this.
Because you will ruin your own character. And when you have children, they'll do that to you. Because that's your character. Now, you can't stop it. Number two, you do not hurt them with a word or an action. You may be firm with them. And in fact, being kind and dutiful to your parents means to also advise them about what is good, and to advise them about what is bad. So you have Mr. Bill Maher financial monka commend them which is which is good and prohibit them from what is bad.
So it doesn't mean that you just put your head down and whatever they say right or wrong. You just go with it. No, if they do wrong,
that Allah that is sinful, you can advise them. In fact, it's your duty if you love them, because you also want to save your parents from the fire. What is my evidence, Prophet Ibrahim Ali salah, there's a huge chapter about him in Surah Maryam, he's advising his father in a whole page. Don't listen to the shaitan debt. Don't worship the idols that have come to you with information that you haven't got. That's not disrespectful. Follow me dad. Wallahi I can guide you I have this. Danny, let's say you have you're a doctor. You're you've got medicine, medical training, and you can advise your parents, would you not advise them? What's good and bad for them? Does that mean you hate them?
Does that mean disrespect them? No.
So examples like that.
You must protect them and defend them. Anybody who talks about them, you defend them. And you never swear at anyone else's parents. Why? Even if they deserve it? Because then they will swear it your parents are so so sad. I'm sad. There will come a time when people will swear at their own dads. They said how your Rasul Allah. He said they will swear other people's dads, and then that will cause the other people to get angry and swear. Their dads tears if you called upon that swearing for your dad, what have the parents got to do with it? And now people mentioned mums. This is how wrong to major sin, you should not swear to people's parents. Another way of showing courtesy and
dutifulness to your parents, brothers and sisters, is not to say even off to them. Allah clearly says it in the Quran, fella Taku Lahoma
that even go
a lot a lot of youngsters I hear saying they say to their parents far out.
And they say more than that. I don't want to say it when the masjid far out is more than
Allah says Don't even say off to them.
Ask them for forgiveness, if you do.
But man they deserve it. But man, they like this man like like, just calm down.
Even if they deserve it.
You don't deserve to make yourself a disrespectful person. You need to respect yourself and develop, you need to break that cycle. You are growing up too.
And you don't want to carry the same traits. We said last week, that it can last up to four generations if you don't break the cycle.
Allah will question you. So if they do wrong and you do wrong, both of you will be questioned by Allah and both of you will be sinned.
But you're you have to respect your parents. Why? When you're a baby, Allah says here, your mother carriage you agony upon agony.
You and I have no idea what our mothers went through. When we were tiny babies, crying and making them stay up. Hold on until you get married and you understand I know your parents will say Oh, you'll never know until you're and you saw you always say that. No, but it's true.
We owe them
not for now, for the past.
You owe them for the past. You owe them for reaching this age safe
In school, your clothing your food to get there. So you owe them those years.
Your mother first is mostly owed, why three times more than the Father because the LMS said, because
she carried you for nine months the father didn't. That's the first right, you owe her back. The second one is her labor and giving you birth. The father didn't go through that. And the third one is breastfeeding you as in the Quran says two years is a good time. If you can't breastfeed for two years, that's fine. But two years is a full right of a child.
Because of that you are nourished, you owe her three times more and the rest of the actions of your parents they're equal.
Of course, brothers, sisters, you can love one parent more than the other. But you've got to treat them equally.
And sometimes I've seen children change their parents around. I know a friend who his father used to drink alcohol. His mother used to shout and his father used to abuse him and this friend of mine, he became a good Muslim and hamdulillah and started attending the masjid and changed his life around. He tried teaching his father but his father would abuse him every time
So he came and asked me and I said to him, Listen, you just do what you have to do. You go and pray, pray in front of them. Is there a problem says no, they say words to me. I go to the army. They said no. So pray in front of them. So he kept praying and praying and changing his life. He says, One day I came home Wallahi I saw my father, he had all his wine bottles is a Muslim, but they used to drink and he was spilling all the wine bottles
in the gutter.
I said what happened dead. My father said to me, I'm watching my own son doing all this and I know myself. So your parents know what they're doing right or wrong. The next thing they need I mean, don't give him a reason to continue that way. He says I'm just watching my son change and I felt embarrassed. So I have to make a change. Thank you son, and now changed my life as father became best friends. So that is mother Masha Allah. So rather than sisters, what I'm saying is you can change around make dua for your parents make dua, have you ever tried making art for them? So Allah God, my parents,
I know. Some people can change things around by knowing from which angle to get to their parents.
See which angle works with them and break your pride and do it.
One way is to ask them for advice. Sit down and say Mom, Dad, I want to ask you for advice.
Parents ask your children for advice. What do you think of this? What do you think of that your parent feel like you are seeking their advice. Of course there are times when it gets really out of hand and you need support and help get some family help. But these are exceptions. I'm talking about the norm my brother and sisters.
Your father works very hard. Your mother worked very hard to get you to where you are, you owe them for the past. So my brothers and sisters are also sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he said
to his wife, or to his daughter, a Smith, sorry to his
to smell the daughter of Abu Bakr the lawn. She said to her, ya rasool Allah. My mother is a disbeliever she is a non Muslim and she hates Islam.
And she wants to come to visit me and she's got a gift. Should I allow her and take the gift from her
Rasulullah sallallahu sallam said, now I'm silly Mickey. Yes, connect your ties with your mother and accept the gift that hadith is multifocal. It's in Bukhari and Muslim great upon.
It doesn't matter if they're Muslim or not. Some people they say subhanallah they say to me, I converted to Islam, my parents they're disowning me they do all these things. Subhanallah they have a great test these people and Jana is yours and shell. However, I say to them, always keep a line between you and your parents keep going over. Maybe inshallah they'll change and I've seen so much change happen.
And they see that their children got better when they converted or reverted to Islam. And I've seen parents convert or at least they love Islam, or at least they stopped.
I know of brothers
changed one ad just because of how close they became after the Islam.
So my brothers and sisters don't give up and keep that tie with them as much as you can. And insha Allah things will work out if you rely on Allah.
Next is the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, when he went to the grave of his mother.
Now let's also assume did not meet his father. But guess what he did. He honored and respected his father's brothers. His father
His friends, the Muslim and non Muslim and he used to say respecting the uncle is in the place of the Father is like respecting your father. So respected his uncle Hamza before and after Islam, Abu Talib, even his uncle, Abu Lahab, who was mentioned in the Quran, where Allah says the betta Avila had been worked with a man the hands of Ebola be cursed because he put fire in front of Salah Musa work against him and he used to talk him as an enemy and but Ebola was his uncle, and even before Islam he used to love his nephew and after Islam he hated him. But the prophet Allah Selim continued to show him courteous respect, no matter what he didn't say a word to hurt him.
And it was also SLM was one scene at a grave.
And they were an expedition an anomaly. Alana on the other companions saw him at that grave, He was crying a lot. And he was on his knees and said the male kicker rasool Allah, what is making you cry, so we might cry with you. And he said to her, the kabru Ami Nebia. This is the grave of the mother of your prophet
who was the process of sending his mother, she died when he was six years old.
And another narration he said, I remembered, I remembered her treatment to me and her kindness when I was a child.
Do you understand? We remember when we were children, and what we owe our parents. So remember that and say I owe them that at least
as much as you can. And if there are harm from them, try your best to avoid the harm as much as you can. And seek help. But as much as you can show.
My brothers and sisters, Allah subhanaw taala told us to treat our relatives and cousins in good manner. Even if they mistreat us, we don't have to mistreat them in the same way.
You can also as Sam said letter Connemara, don't be a copycat in when people do good, that's the only time you do good and when they do bad you also do bad he said if they do good, you also do good if they do bad. Find a way to avoid
their bad. So you can have a distance you can avoid. You understand brothers and sisters Rasul Allah and Allah Salam.
He said, Oh Muslims, you are going to conquer Egypt in the future. Allah told him that they were going to enter Egypt and truly it did happen at the time of,
of work with the law and with armed on the law. So the Allah Han, and he said, If you enter Egypt, and you see the cops, the Coptics there and all the others,
show them could show them courtesy and kindness. For we have a bloodline relationship with them going back to Hazara Alayhis Salam has are the mother of his smile. The wife of Ibrahim Ali Sena, can you see that was 4000 years ago and he said we still have some blood between us like relationship. And he also saw Salam Marielle Katya, who became a source Allah salams
partner, we call it right hand possession. That's a whole nother story to talk about. He treated her with kindness and she chose to be that way anyway because he offered to marry her but she chose to be a right hand position, which means that she had rights in a different way. And she loved the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. And what happened is Marielle Katya, she came from the Coptics in Egypt, and the Prophet sallallahu sallam said, and we have in laws, their
in laws, he called the Egyptians his in laws, because he married because he had a relationship with a woman with her consent from them. So that made a relationship with the cops. So he said, I am also an in law, and also a relative. We'll leave that idea of medical care to another time. I did talk about it in my biography of the process, and we need a long time talk about that. But every thing has an answer in Islam. My brothers and sisters, let's move on. Rasul Allah alayhi wa sallam.
He used to call his own family before he called anyone else to Islam. Because Allah says we're under Asherah. Tackle UK robbing Warren and save the most closest people among your family to you. They mistreated him and some of them accepted Him. And He avoided the mistreatment of the bad relatives and connected with the relatives that were so he was safe around, but he never gave up on them.
The prophets Allah Selim loved his uncle Allah best and used to treat him in utmost respect when he was still a non Muslim and he was in the Battle of better they captured him as a prisoner.
And they tied him up. And the prophets Allah Selim could hear him in the room, moaning from pain you're in and they said, Yeah Rasul Allah, we see that you look uncomfortable, distressed. He said, I can hear my uncle's moaning. So one of the companions who had brought him as a prisoner went, and he untied his, the shackles and his moaning stopped the prompts. I said, I've said, Why, what happened to my uncle's moaning I can't hear it anymore. He said, I Ursula, I saw your distress and for yourself because He's your uncle, I untied his shackles. He said, Thank you. Now go back to the other prisoners and also untie their shackles, because he is also adjust Prophet sallallahu wasallam
later on Allah best becomes Muslim, and Subhan Allah the amount of love He gave to him was beyond measure, even though he was in a battlefield fighting him. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam fostered earlier the Allah and his cousin, as I said before, and
one day he entered his house and his wife or mama or the Allahu Ana one prophesize on his wives was all mama. And she said to him, yeah, Rasul Allah rasool Allah.
I had some jewelry, and I donated from my jewelry, to the poor people of so and so. And so So I sent him said, If only you would have donated your jewelry, to your uncles and aunts, he would have gotten more reward, the reward of donation and reward of connecting your ties.
And what we learned from this is number one, I don't know if you noticed
his wife's money is her money. To her wealth. Did the prophets Allah Salam asked her what she does with her wealth? No, she told him, did the prophets Allah Salam, tell her where to donate it? No. Listen, he said, If you had given it to your uncles and aunts, your well, your mother's brothers and sisters, you'd get double the reward. He's not telling you to do that. He's telling you an option, which is better for her. He's not commanding her. This shows us that her husband has no right to question his wife's money and wealth and jewelry and property at all.
We have no right. We have no right. To tell her that she must ask us where she donates her money, where she invests her money. What she buys with her money, how she spends her money. We have no right brothers and sisters.
We can advise her and guide her if we want but we have no right. Unless she brings harm from her wealth into her family. And unless she starts doing haram with it, God forbid drugs or something like that the husband can command because the husband has to protect his family. And the wife has to think about her family. But other than that, we have no right.
Her wealth is entirely hers.