Adab – Manners – Is an Art Not a Science

Ammar Alshukry

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Channel: Ammar Alshukry

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AI: Summary © The transcript describes a chef who met a young man at a restaurant and showed them a smooth line, but the chef refused to do so. The chef eventually let the chef grab the luggage of the man and showed them hospitality. The chef also talks about respecting family rules and achieving success in the field.
AI: Transcript ©
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So there's this Egyptian had this Shabbos happened Khomeini have a whole lot, who tells the story of how he met his, or when he met his chef, Chef, a little bunny. Primeau, Allah, the great late Muhaddith. And he had traveled to Jordan to go meet him. And the chef invited him to his house. And he said that when the chef was like preparing food

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chef was help was like, I mean, he's the chef. And he's old, I can't just sit down like a guest while he's getting the plates and stuff. So he jumped up to try to help him. And the chef told him to sit down. And then

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chef would go back into the kitchen and come back bringing more plates and the chef, Chef was hack would jump up also to try to, you know, help chef at advantage of the bandwidth, tell them sit down again. And then like the third time, he told him, he said, Sit down an empty cell who will either he said,

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taking directions, is up, taking directions is up, or listening is up. And so that was like the line that he he remembered, believe the third one. And that goes to show

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a dub isn't a science as much as it's an art, science, meaning science is you put in these factors, and it will come out like this every time. But Adam is an art, you might have learned that you should help somebody who's older, you know, at their best for you to help get the place or what have you and stuff like that. But if that's going to fluster that person, then at that point in time, that's not up. Or if that person doesn't want you to do it for whatever reason that at that point of time, you following the rulebook is not going to be added up. I remember one time I had picked up she had had from the airport. So he's

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he's young, Mashallah. He's not like old or anything like that. And he's pulling his, his, his luggage behind him. And I pick him up from the airport, but he's my chef, and I'm supposed to grab his you know, I'm, I'm the host, and he's the guests or whatever it is. So even if it was just read the guest, he wasn't my chef, I still would have grabbed the luggage from them. And so I reached out to grab his luggage, and he pushes me off. And he gives me like this smooth line, he says a model Oh, Daddy, my daddy, he says a person has more right to their luggage. So I like that line. So then I'm traveling to another city. And this time, I'm the instructor and a guy picks me up. And I'm

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pulling my luggage and the guy reaches for my luggage. And I push him off. And he's he's Arab. So he'll understand I go on Motorola Medallia give him the same line that just had to give me and so the guy looks at me in both eyes, and then he dives from my luggage.

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Now, we went from me giving him a smooth line to me, like fighting him for my luggage. And then he's still trying to go for it. And I'm like, yo, let go my luggage man. But no. And then he finally I let it go. And he's so happy because he, he showed me hospitality. And I'm annoyed. Like, I just met this guy, and I don't want to talk to him anymore. I want to I have to get into a car with this guy. I'm flustered, I'm upset. But he's happy because he showed me either. And I'm like, that's not the objective. So a lot of times people they, they they try to communicate particular rules. We had a chef come at the message here a couple of weeks ago, and he gave a hug. And he said add up

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respecting your parents is to never walk in front of them and add up is this this this and he's giving guidelines from 1400 years ago in Arabia, right, not realizing that adds up changes from culture to culture, even from person to person, the way that I show up to one person, it's all about the result. The result is respecting your parents. That's what that's what the result is. And so for some parents it might be respecting them is by having a conversation with them. I've seen some kids debate with their parents very passionately, and they didn't cross the line of either. Whereas you have some kids, if they debate with their parents that will be considered to be incredibly

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disrespectful. And so it all goes back to what is the result that is required, and how you achieve that result. Navigating that that is what that is so just a couple of examples. It's an art form. It's not a science and ALLAH SubhanA data knows best