Depression Ep 2 The Dark & Light of The Human Mind

Ali Hammuda


Channel: Ali Hammuda


File Size: 77.40MB

Share Page


AI: Summary © The speakers emphasize the importance of professional help, community support, and proper mental health education in avoiding sadness and grief. They stress the perma effect of happiness and joy, which is achieved through various methods, including exploration, social interaction, and personal development. The importance of understanding one's values and finding a way to achieve joy in life is emphasized, along with the need for a positive environment to achieve success.
AI: Transcript ©
00:00:00--> 00:00:19

Think about the five closest people to you in your life, whether they are from family or friends. And chances are that either themselves, or someone who is close to them from family or friends suffer from a type of depression.

00:00:21--> 00:00:22

Since the 1990s,

00:00:24--> 00:00:31

there has been a steady increase in the number of young people committing suicide because of depression.

00:00:32--> 00:00:37

And in recent decades, the statistics are terrifying, the rate is soaring.

00:00:38--> 00:00:42

Clearly, we have an epidemic of existential nature.

00:00:44--> 00:00:50

And today, depression is statistically the number one cause of disability globally.

00:00:51--> 00:00:55

And America is labeled as the most depressed country in the world.

00:00:57--> 00:01:07

Now, it's difficult to put your finger on any one particular cause and isolate it and say this is the cause for situation or or clinical depression.

00:01:09--> 00:01:17

Yes, some people are genetically predispositioned to be more inclined, and more prone to depressive symptoms.

00:01:18--> 00:01:40

But there are also other factors societal ones that we cannot overlook the breakdown in community breakdown in family and we did a 20 part series here in this Masjid not too long ago, we titled The married and the after. And we spoke about the mental health effects implicated on children and families alike. When husband and wife relationships are breaking down.

00:01:41--> 00:01:44

You have also the proliferation of social media,

00:01:45--> 00:01:51

and much of the garbage and trash that is peddled through mobile phones, tablets and devices.

00:01:53--> 00:02:02

The disruption of sleeping patterns, terrible diets, poor levels of exercise, the disruption of community.

00:02:05--> 00:02:29

And the factors continue. And on top of all of that, you have a society that is constantly drumming, the message that you have to always be happy, and you cannot be unhappy and must not tolerate at all being unhappy. And therefore by and large, it could be argued that pain thresholds today are lower than ever before.

00:02:30--> 00:02:33

So we have an issue on our hands.

00:02:34--> 00:02:36

And despite us living at a time

00:02:38--> 00:02:49

where we have a huge variety of antidepressant medicines that are on the shelf, the problem is not decreasing, the problem is only rising.

00:02:51--> 00:03:15

Let us speak about the topic of depression by first unpacking a few terms that denote sadness in the Arabic language, I'm going to share with you five terms from the book of Allah subhanaw taala, and how it speaks about the topic of grief and sorrow. And I'm quite hesitant to use the word depression because of the stigma that is attached around it and we're going to speak about this in a moment in sha Allah.

00:03:17--> 00:03:25

The Quran uses the term hum to speak about sadness, we can translate the word to him

00:03:26--> 00:03:37

as meaning anxiety, hum is in reference to a thought that you give priority to in your life. It overcomes every other thought.

00:03:38--> 00:03:44

It takes cheap place. And it's usually pertaining to a worry of the future.

00:03:45--> 00:03:53

Something that you are anxious about or happening a situation that's going to take place in the future this is called hum

00:03:56--> 00:03:57

and then you have another term

00:03:59--> 00:04:32

which is a housing perhaps we can translate this as grief or sadness. And this is the most commonly used word in the Quran to speak about grief and husband it appears about 14 to places in the book of Allah subhanho wa Taala to hasn in Allah Hana and being the most famous of them, don't be sad. Allah said quoting the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam who said to acidic Abu Bakr Radi Allahu anhu, don't have husband. Don't be sad. Allah Almighty is with us.

00:04:33--> 00:04:55

And then you have a third expression in the Quran to denote grief and sadness. And this word is a Run. Run. It's in reference to the concealing of something the covering of something. And that's why the Arabic language, Ohana is in reference to a cloud because it covers the brightness of the sun. This is rum.

00:04:56--> 00:04:59

Now of course when you talk about clouds, the Arabs they also say Sahara

00:05:00--> 00:05:12

But the difference between the hub and Nirvana is that the hamam is in reference to a dark cloud. So one is in reference to a dark thought that covers your mind.

00:05:13--> 00:05:16

From the light of happiness or well being, and joy

00:05:18--> 00:05:36

soom in Zela alikoum meme de la Ron me and Manhattan Nuage and how the Quran uses the word run in the Battle of Ohio when use was spread that the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had allegedly been killed. Allah describes the state of the companions as being one of one.

00:05:37--> 00:05:38

This was number one.

00:05:39--> 00:05:40

Number three.

00:05:41--> 00:05:47

A fourth expression which the Quran uses to speak about sorrow and sadness is SF. SF.

00:05:49--> 00:06:08

wollam Raja Musa in a coma he Habana. Asifa. When Moses came back to his community in the state of rage, he held the line and a Sefa. What does SF mean? SF is a type of sorrow that manifests through rage or anger.

00:06:09--> 00:06:14

So for example, imagine you're down you're upset, you're not feeling well, it's prolonged.

00:06:15--> 00:06:22

Then someone says to you, let's go and get a bike. Let's go city. Let's go chaiwalla Let's go have a good time and you say, What's wrong with you? Don't you see that I am down.

00:06:24--> 00:06:30

That manifestation you can say is SF, it is a sadness that usually demonstrates itself through anger.

00:06:33--> 00:06:37

And then you have term number five, which is Beth

00:06:39--> 00:06:40


00:06:41--> 00:06:51

And this literally means to spread an empty shell to spread. So it's in reference to a type of sadness that permeates every part of your body

00:06:52--> 00:07:01

and spreads itself to every inch of your existence. So much so that it may even appear on your appearance and your conduct. This is Beth.

00:07:03--> 00:07:06

And it has also a second connotation of lingering

00:07:07--> 00:07:24

so it's a sadness that permeates your body and it's also a sadness that lingers, it stays around for a long period of time. And perhaps Perhaps, this is the term in the Arabic language that most closely resembles the modern term of depression.

00:07:25--> 00:07:31

In a school Betsy, you are Hosni in Allah Prophet yaku. He said I complain of my bath

00:07:33--> 00:07:37

and my husband my sadness to Allah alone Subhana wa Tada.

00:07:39--> 00:07:42

The question here is can a man feel depressed?

00:07:44--> 00:08:11

Can I believe experience this type of lingering grief and depression? Is it possible? There is a statement that is passed around and perhaps some of us study this in our universities, Islamic universities or our shadow a seminaries. There is sometimes quite a broad statement that is made and when it is not qualified, it could be a little bit damaging, which is a person of Eman can never be depressed. This is what we are taught.

00:08:13--> 00:08:44

A person who has faith a believer in Allah Jalla Judah who can never and should never be depressed, if he is depressed, some will argue that it is a sign a definite sign of weak Eman. Others will say that depression is a sign of sins that you have introduced into your life. Is this a categoric statement? Is it precise across the board? Is it always the case? And the answer has to be an emphatic no.

00:08:45--> 00:08:48

And people who say things like this, though they mean well.

00:08:49--> 00:09:26

They may even use evidences to cite what is perhaps an unintentional misunderstanding. They may cite an area of the Quran where Allah Allah Allah Julia, who says in the livina, among those who have Eman faith, well I mean slightly heart and they do good deeds were accommo Salah established a prayer, that was their car and they give out the charity what is the outcome? The homeodomain Robbie him they will have their reward with Allah, Allah hopefully Allah him, they will have no fear while they are homea has unknown and they will not grieve. So they will see this is an evidence that a person of Eman and good deeds who stays away from sins cannot feel fear, and we should not feel

00:09:26--> 00:09:26


00:09:28--> 00:09:31

Though this was not the way that our classical scholars understood this idea.

00:09:33--> 00:09:40

They understood this idea as being a description of the situation of a believer with Allah and the home of the Hereafter not here in dunya.

00:09:41--> 00:10:00

So those people who do these good deeds that you heard being listed in the eye, now hope when I lay him, they will have no fear, meaning when they pass away, there is no fear with respect to what awaits them in the hereafter. Hereafter while our home yeah has unknown and they will not feel sorrow meaning they will

00:10:00--> 00:10:35

not be saddened about what they have left behind, in dunya. So it's not a description of how a person is a movement in the life of this world. A believer in this world, a prophet in this world, a messenger of a Li, a saint in this world, a Sidious in this world, this is the cream of the crop, the gold standard of humanity, they may grieve and they may experience sorrow, and it may prolong and it may debilitate them during a period in their lives. It's a test from Allah Allah, Allah Allah Allah Who that increases the believers in rank for those who are patient and those who translate their sadness into a correct behavior.

00:10:37--> 00:10:40

Our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa salam did he not grieve?

00:10:41--> 00:10:56

Was he not be set may setbacks back to back setbacks in his life when he lost his uncle, his exterior form of defense and he lost Khadija, Robbie Allahu anha, his interior form of defense and his support,

00:10:57--> 00:11:32

and the prosecution in Mecca and his companions that were being tortured in front of his blessing eyes, Allah He stood out to Sudan. If he not feel sorrow, yes, he did. In fact, his sorrow was such that the historians they looked at this period in this era. This is specifically year 10. After the first revelation three years before they migrated to Medina, they called it Ahmed Hassan, there is a name pretty much for each one of the years of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam the 13th in Mecca and the 10 in Medina and the 10th. One in Mecca they called it arm will hinge on the year of sorrow

00:11:34--> 00:11:35

because of what he is feeling.

00:11:37--> 00:12:11

And notice this is the very same year by the way that he was taken during the Israel and the Mirage trip. That was the same year Allah Almighty honored him to raise his morale. And he took him from Mecca to Palestine to lead the prophets there in Masjid Al Aqsa, and from there he was taking him to the seven heavens, to meet his brothers, and to see the angels and to meet Allah laka da minha to Robby Hill Cobra, Allah said, We showed him from the major signs of Allah, the dominions of the heavens and the earth. And he spoke to Allah Almighty without a middleman.

00:12:13--> 00:12:26

Yet no historian looked at this period in the history and said, I'm willing Maharaj this is the year of the ascension. No, they called it the year of sorrow to show you that he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam is fully human.

00:12:28--> 00:12:40

And then the Prophet of Allah he aku, Jacob, father of Prophet, use of the go to case study for those who are down Surah to use of, and the father Yaqoob, and the sorrow he expressed.

00:12:43--> 00:13:00

And I shared with you this before we proceed three verses from Surah. Yusuf, to show you how three of the five descriptions of sorrow that we spoke about in the beginning, when I shared with you five times, three of them were used in description of Prophet Yaqoob, including death, the most intensive, intensive level.

00:13:02--> 00:13:22

Listen, Allah Almighty said that Prophet Yaqoob experienced the following whatever on him, he turned away from his sons. This was after they let him down, and they through use of in the world, and US had come to him that he had disappeared. And Binyamin was detained with our law and whom he turned away from his sons.

00:13:23--> 00:13:55

Were called SF Isla Yusuf, he said, How intense is my SF overuse of remember the word SF we spoke about, which meant what sadness that is manifested through through rage. He was upset with his sons, because they were the cause of this. He turned away from them and he said, Oh, how intense is my SF overuse of what be up but I now home in Elgin, and his eyes became white because of how I don't remember the word husband. Sadness.

00:13:57--> 00:14:02

And by the way, what I didn't mention back then is that when usually is respect to a sadness

00:14:04--> 00:14:27

with respect to an event of the past, when you say the word sadness, it is usually about a grief pertaining to an event of the past. He turned away from his sons and he said How intense is my SF overuse of and his eyes became white, because of her zone. For who we're covering him and therefore he is suppressing meaning, suppressing his grief and suppressing his anger.

00:14:30--> 00:14:59

Then his sons they look at their father who they see is literally dying in grief brothers, sisters, all they said to him, Salah he We swear by Allah, if that would have caught the use of you're going to continue remembering us have had that Hakuna Harada till your body wastes away. I will tell you when I mean I'll highly keen or you die. They're saying that you're on the verge of dying because of grief. You've withered away. You've

00:15:00--> 00:15:05

Lost your weight. And we see that death is near because of grief. Do you know

00:15:06--> 00:15:13

any person in your life who suffered so much sorrow that he or she cried till they lost their vision?

00:15:15--> 00:15:18

And then we say that grief cannot be for a believer.

00:15:19--> 00:15:38

It's for homework Aleem. And then he says to his sons, and this is the third verse, I promised you, saying to them, beware of thinking that I am complaining to you, or that I am in doubt of my Lord. Or somehow I have despaired. He said to them in school, but for your husband, even Allah, I complain of my bath. Remember the word bath,

00:15:40--> 00:15:50

the sorrow that permeates and the sorrow that lingers. I complain of my bath was me and my husband, my sadness Illa Allah to Allah, Allah

00:15:52--> 00:16:21

Wa La Mina, Allah Hema, Allah God, and I know of Allah, that which you do not know. I mentioned this to show you that conclusion. We cannot go to this side of the spectrum and say, every time someone exhibits sadness, lingering grief, that debilitates him or her, it must be a sign of weak, frail damaged Eman or a sin in their lives. That's not always accurate thing to say. But of course, we have to also say that on the other side of the spectrum, the unfashionable statement

00:16:22--> 00:16:30

that week Eman and this obedience to Allah has an effect on the over all well being of the believer.

00:16:31--> 00:16:38

It's very fashionable today today to speak about this. Don't judge people as having wiki man. Agreed.

00:16:39--> 00:16:46

But don't forget the other side. That's a sins and wiki man that unmanaged and unserviced

00:16:47--> 00:16:50

will have an effect on your overall well being.

00:16:52--> 00:17:05

And that is why Allah Almighty said kettlebell Rana, Allah could be him. Mercado xe boon. Allah said no their hearts have been covered with a Iran with a covering because of what they used to do.

00:17:07--> 00:17:26

Because of what they used to do. The human heart has been created for one purpose, and that is to recognize Allah and to glorify Him to fill it with his remembrance. However, if you were to use any aspect of your human body in a way that is contrary to the purpose that Allah Almighty created it for it will damage it will be damaged.

00:17:27--> 00:18:02

Try drinking by pouring water through your ear. Try eating by rubbing food into your eye, the outcome will be damaged to both why because the ear is designed to receive sound not going away and the eye is designed to receive light, not food. And similarly, fill the heart to see you out. Fill the heart with Netflix fill the heart with tick tock fill the heart with other than Allah fill the heart with haram relationships. And watch how it will begin to cave in and you will be down because the heart was created for one thing it is compatible with the remembrance of Allah it wants to glorify Him.

00:18:06--> 00:18:08

How are we going to approach the topic of depression?

00:18:10--> 00:18:35

I thought rather than going through a standard theoretical approach, saying to you this is what the Quran says. And this is what the Sunnah says. And of course, we can't run away from that approach, God forbid. But we can also use a different frame. What I thought we can do was take a case study a working case study for us to look at, unpack and understand the mindset of someone who experienced depression at quite an extreme level.

00:18:38--> 00:18:55

so extreme that they ended up killing their mother and father and sister and grandmother before turning the gun on to themselves. It's the case of brothers, forehand to hate 19 years old, and

00:18:56--> 00:19:00

Tanveer Tauheed, 21 years old, maybe some of you remember the case,

00:19:01--> 00:19:08

an event that took place in April 2021, just two years ago, in Dallas, America.

00:19:10--> 00:19:31

And these were the names of two Bangladeshi brothers, Muslims who suffered with depression for many years. And it seemed that they didn't get the type of help that they needed. And it's also not very clear to what level Islam played a role in their lives. I am not here to pass judgments they are with Allah subhanaw taala he is the most just use the Most Merciful.

00:19:33--> 00:19:59

What is interesting is that before they did what they did, they left a very long suicide note. And in all of the suicide notes that I read in preparation for this talk, I found this to be the longest it's what about nine pages, explaining their journey, their background, what worked, what didn't work, and it really gives you a very accurate insight into their minds and that's why I chose this particular case.

00:20:00--> 00:20:01

The although it is dark and troubling.

00:20:04--> 00:20:11

The letter is introduced with Hey everyone, I killed myself and my family were nearly lucky when

00:20:13--> 00:20:21

I chose this case study for several reasons. First of all, the perpetrators and the victims were Muslims. Number two, it's in the West, we can relate to it here.

00:20:22--> 00:20:34

Number three, they suffered from chronic depression, as we're going to find out, and that's the subject of our talk. And number four, they left a very long suicide note,

00:20:35--> 00:20:57

which gives you have precise introduction and tore into their mindset and their psychology. And therefore, the idea behind this Dear Brothers Sisters is to unpack the content of this letter, only some of it, and I'm going to extract from it certain headings needs that they clearly had that were left unaddressed, I will share with you the passage from the letter.

00:20:58--> 00:21:03

And then I will give you what an Islamic intervention may have looked like.

00:21:04--> 00:21:07

A few disclaimers here just before we begin, first of all, I don't encourage

00:21:08--> 00:21:10

anyone to read the letter.

00:21:12--> 00:21:52

Because it is dark, it is troubling. So I'm only going to share the parts of it that I feel will help us protect ourselves, our children, our community from a similar type of fate. These are words of advice that we wished we could have whispered into the ears of Farhan and his brother. And we wished we could have been there to assist, but it is the culture of Allah subhanaw taala. So they left a long note. And therefore it is clear that they had every intention for it to be a public attention. They wanted the world to know about what happened, they wanted the world to read their note, they wrote it for a reason. In fact, in the note, Farhan, he says

00:21:53--> 00:21:59

that, since I'm going to die, I might as well get some attention.

00:22:00--> 00:22:12

I'm going to share with you he says four points in the majority of my life, and how they affected me. And then he concludes by saying perhaps who knows, some good may come out of it.

00:22:13--> 00:22:41

This is precisely what we are doing. We are not here to pass a judgement, we're here to understand the psychology of Farhan and his brother in the hope that we can prevent, not just the outcome of a murder suicide pact, but also the buildup of it, which is real chronic depression. second disclaimer is that I also acknowledge that there is a difference between situational depression, forgive me, Uncle, I'm speaking, this is your field, situational depression and clinical depression.

00:22:42--> 00:23:01

situational depression is usually described as being a lesser form of depression, it's more short term. And it's usually caused by a situation that happens in a person's life, a change in circumstance, a traumatic event, when that event passes, a person is usually able to recover and settle down to normality.

00:23:02--> 00:23:21

Then you have the other type of depression, which is the clinical depression, or chronic depression, or they call it major depression. And here, there is usually no obvious cause for it, everything is going well. And he says about himself, my life is perfect. And this is my problem, I'm still depressed.

00:23:23--> 00:23:30

And this is a lot more drawn out, it's a lot longer, and it can affect the psychological functioning of a person's day to day.

00:23:31--> 00:24:19

So let us begin, I'm going to divide the tools that I'm going to suggest with you they will be 10. Across secondary tools and primary tools, I will share four secondary tools that we take from the letter, and six primary tools. Now when I say secondary tools, I don't mean to belittle the importance of these measures that I'm going to share. I'm using the word secondary, just to emphasize the primacy of the primary ones, how important they are in Islam, the primary ones. So when I say medical intervention is a secondary tool, I am not minimizing the importance of that, as you shall see, I am simply drawing attention to the indispensable nature of the primary tools that I

00:24:19--> 00:24:23

shall share with you. Shall we begin Bismillah.

00:24:24--> 00:24:27

Point number one, this is from the secondary or primary.

00:24:28--> 00:24:30

We said we'll begin with secondary

00:24:32--> 00:24:37

the need for family and friends and belonging.

00:24:38--> 00:24:39

Listen to what he says.

00:24:40--> 00:24:48

He said I would have killed myself a long time ago. If he wasn't there. He's referring to his brother. So his brother kept him going family.

00:24:50--> 00:25:00

And then he says in another passage, there's my family is the one reason I forced myself to live for 19 years. And I know that I said that I operate

00:25:00--> 00:25:07

On logic, but the one emotional aspect of my life is my family. The only reason I'm here

00:25:10--> 00:25:17

the Need for Family, the need for belonging, the need for friends, see more than our need.

00:25:18--> 00:25:31

For 100 scholars and another 100 theologians and jurists, there will always be a need for our orlimar don't get me wrong. Sometimes what a person really needs in his or her life is a handful

00:25:32--> 00:25:40

of religiously literate friends, family members, people who understand people who are there for you.

00:25:42--> 00:25:48

Sometimes that is far more important than listening to a lecture or being a student of knowledge.

00:25:50--> 00:25:54

Especially if you are in a situation of vulnerability like this.

00:25:55--> 00:26:24

And this is precisely what our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam identified. When he paired Muslims together in the early parts of the Dawa, he realized that there's going to be sorrow when people embrace Islam, there's going to be sadness, there's going to be death, there's going to be theft, there's going to be Kelly. So what did he do? He paired the Muslims together to give them support because one of the greatest mechanisms of support after you have your heart hasn't been paired with Allah is to pair your heart with another Muslim.

00:26:26--> 00:26:35

And people think that this process of Maha pairing between the Muslims started in Medina it didn't start in Medina Did you know it started in Makkah.

00:26:36--> 00:26:49

As soon as he began to say to people, c'est la ilaha illa Allah you will be successful he began to pair the Companions who were embracing Islam PES Hamza bin Abdul Muttalib your parrot will be Zeytinburnu harissa

00:26:50--> 00:26:57

Sadie blobby work class uncle of the profit your pair will be most I didn't know omega, one of the first monitors.

00:26:59--> 00:27:05

They didn't know Andreevna no fail your pair will be all Hatem. No Obaidullah this was in Mecca, not Medina.

00:27:07--> 00:27:16

And then when they got to Medina, he began to pair the Meccans with the Marines. The Marines you don't know the answer 45 Metcons were paired with another 45 Medina's?

00:27:17--> 00:27:38

What was the point of the pairing economic support, emotional support spiritual support to remove the sense of alienation, horrible isolation, sadness, to give advice, psychological advice, physiological help, they were so close that they would inherit one another when they died like family till this was this was later abrogated.

00:27:41--> 00:27:45

You see, we wonder how is it that in the month of Ramadan

00:27:46--> 00:27:49

the masjid is packed for taraweeh

00:27:50--> 00:28:01

and it's not even an obligation. You come to the salah Bahasa which is an obligation generally speaking throughout the year, very few people are there you barely get the front or second row. Ramadan is packed why?

00:28:03--> 00:28:04

There is a clue.

00:28:05--> 00:28:14

In a recent study that was done by Cigna that revealed that around 50% of Americans are experiencing loneliness

00:28:16--> 00:28:25

and the lack of meaningful daily social interactions and extended conversations with family and friends. The West is a lonely place to be.

00:28:27--> 00:28:31

So what happens Ramadan comes people come to the masjid. Why?

00:28:32--> 00:28:52

Because they're socializing. There's food. There is quizzes, there's fundraisers there's reminders there's Salam there's connection there's brothers this is something we need as human beings. So the secret one of the secrets is the community spirit that picks up even the weakest member of society

00:28:54--> 00:28:55

you see

00:28:56--> 00:29:03

and that's why there is really an obligation brothers sisters here you will find this Muslim who comes to Tarawa Salah may not pray in the day

00:29:04--> 00:29:19

that they come to Tara we why one of the reasons because the heart longs for companionship it's a need longs for friendships socializing God time they get it throughout the year, where are we from these people? And where are we from one another, WhatsApp messages are not sufficient.

00:29:21--> 00:29:46

Come to the masjid every Salah today share throughout the year for example, if you can my brother and see the faces and they will increase in familiarity each day. And that will remove the sense of loneliness and in strange meant that a lot of us feel visit one another. Talk to one another. play badminton sports with one another. Go eat with one another Ask about one another visit each other in your homes. And I put the brunt of the responsibility on our Imams and community leaders.

00:29:48--> 00:29:56

To realize that the solutions we bring them out mustn't be just individual ones, but communal ones that are seldom rarely achieved through a token a lecture.

00:29:57--> 00:29:59

Bring people together break down barriers

00:30:00--> 00:30:10

Ask about one another and realize that there are dark parts of our community that requires tapping into. So this is point number one, the need for family and friends. Point number two,

00:30:11--> 00:30:15

the need to be understood. Listen to what Farhan says.

00:30:16--> 00:30:22

He says My problem is that while people feel sadness, it just isn't depression.

00:30:23--> 00:30:45

He said, depression is when you feel the same sadness to the point where it interrupts your sleep and prevents you from your hobbies for over two weeks. It's a real illness. He says I don't get it, why mental illnesses are treated differently to physical illnesses. No one expects someone without legs to walk. So we shouldn't be surprised that someone depressed has a hard time being normal.

00:30:46--> 00:30:55

And one of the things he says in the letter is that people don't accept calling someone a retard as a joke. They don't accept it. But people are very happy

00:30:56--> 00:31:17

to consider us as retards, because we have mental health issues. And there is some truth in this to be honest with you, you find that if someone Subhanallah Halima falls over, breaks his arm, what happens we all rush to the scene to make sure they're okay Call the ambulance got a cast on there. And then when they've got the cast, we all rush to sign the cast.

00:31:19--> 00:31:41

But if the same person has a broken, cognitive state, he's broken internally, we run the other way. No one wants to help. How will this person be heard? How will this person be seen? And how will we feel the pain of this person if we want to wear these blinkers and realize fail to realize that these people exist, and they are in pain, and they really want to be understood?

00:31:43--> 00:31:47

And this is why I don't understand why there is such a stigma around mental health in our Muslim community.

00:31:49--> 00:32:18

It really is an issue. The brothers sisters are really embarrassed to tell Mom and Dad, I'm down. Because you know what Dad's gonna say to you? Why are you down, I came to this country with nothing in my pocket. And I had to walk from miles on end to fetch a bottle of water, look at your fridge, and your aunties and your uncles. Yes, we are eternally grateful. But there are issues today that maybe our fathers and our grandpa didn't experience.

00:32:19--> 00:32:31

This is this huge social experiment that we're going through, especially with social media, we don't understand the effects of it, especially Gen Z, we don't understand. And we're going to find out very soon the true effects of what's going on here.

00:32:32--> 00:32:48

They have a desire to be understood, why do we have a stigma around it, of all communities who stigmatize the topic of mental health and depression, we should be the last as Muslims. Why? Because in the medieval West here, the place of technology and enlightenment.

00:32:49--> 00:32:58

At that time, they were treating mental health issues purely as a spiritual demonic thing, that you needed exorcism. It's a devil. It's a spiritual issue.

00:33:00--> 00:33:11

At the same time in medieval Islam, we, our scholars recognized that mental health and depression is also a physiological and psychological matter as well.

00:33:13--> 00:33:26

We were writing books, we have a scholar by the name of Abu Zaid and Belfie who died in the year 934 C E, over 1000 years ago, and he writes a pre modern book called

00:33:27--> 00:34:08

masala hold up, Danny will enforce the sustenance of the body and the souls. Yeah, when you when you read it Subhanallah you think it was written today uncle have you come across it? You think that it was authored by a practitioner today with the modern intervention for health care and mental issues. And one of the things he says in the book is that mental health should not be stigmatized. And people should treat depression with the same seriousness that they treat physical ailments. And he says that if your body is what you have, then your mind your mind is who you are. If your body is what you have, your mind is who you are. He just the readers to take it seriously because of the

00:34:08--> 00:34:18

effects that are far reaching effects of mental health issues that are far more than the physical ones. So this is the works. These are the works of our scholars.

00:34:19--> 00:34:21

This is a science we found it.

00:34:24--> 00:34:27

So why do we stigmatize it, we should be the most understanding.

00:34:28--> 00:34:39

over 1000 years ago, we were writing these texts in the heart of the Muslim civilization, but they are not the Rome of the era. We should be the most sympathetic and the most nuanced.

00:34:40--> 00:34:47

What type of empathy with Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam have shown to a man to a man like for Han?

00:34:49--> 00:34:58

What type of understanding would he have given him? or Allah Almighty describes him as seeing like a DJ kumara su loon full sequence and messenger has come to you from yourselves

00:34:59--> 00:34:59


00:35:00--> 00:35:19

as easily Hema Huntington, it grieves him that you should be in hardship. Harry soon Alikum he is anxious over you, Bill meaning are often Rahim to the believers, he is filled with pity and mercy. What type of empathy would he have shown to a man like Farhan.

00:35:20--> 00:35:34

Here he is saying to you that people are treating us as retards. There is a huge lifting of a burden in the life of a person who is depressed simply when he feels she feels understood. You may not even have a solution.

00:35:36--> 00:35:40

You may you may not be able to offer a professional advice or an Islamic intervention.

00:35:41--> 00:36:06

But you've given them that feeling that I understand you. And that's the difference between sympathy and empathy. Empathy is when you make them feel that I am walking in your shoes, I understand how you are going, and you express that understanding by rephrasing their statement, for example, empathy is the greatest trick in the trade. For a counselor, it's the most powerful tool for any counselor to help his client grow, and the lack of empathy, you have seen the outcomes of it

00:36:07--> 00:36:14

that need to be understood. That's number two. Number three, the need for sincere and professional help,

00:36:15--> 00:36:27

sincere and professional help. So you may show empathy, and understanding but sometimes they also need a professional intervention. Listen to what he says. To make matters worse,

00:36:29--> 00:36:30

my three best friends dropped me.

00:36:31--> 00:36:36

They tried to help me before eventually realizing that dealing with a depressed person was a lot of work.

00:36:37--> 00:37:00

In comes my first point, getting help. Everyone says you can talk to me and post all those useless mental health links on their stories. But when you actually interact with someone depressed, you realize how impossible fixing them is. I've never benefited from telling someone how depressed I was. I always end up with them having to leave me.

00:37:02--> 00:37:06

The only people who stick around are those obligated to

00:37:08--> 00:37:17

the need for sincere and professional help? Do we have that in our community? Our our Imams, and our counselors? Are they trained?

00:37:19--> 00:37:31

See, subhanAllah I want to be sallallahu alayhi wa sallam encouraged the learning of every craft and every science in every trade that was needed by the Muslims of the era.

00:37:33--> 00:37:45

Everything that was required socially, scientifically, in terms of construction, he would encourage the companions to go out and master it because we need it as Muslims. You see where I'm going with this in a moment.

00:37:47--> 00:38:01

When he saw that, in Medina, there was a community of Jews who didn't live in Makkah, there was a need to understand their language because there were trust issues. So he said to date hypnotherapy, I need you to learn the Jews, the language of the Jews, the Sirianni. So Yanick language,

00:38:02--> 00:38:12

he said I mastered it within two weeks Allahu Akbar. So he became the scribe for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and sending letters see a science that was needed to craft a trade master it.

00:38:14--> 00:38:31

Then they realized that there was a need to learn how to read and write. So when they had the captives from medieval and they wanted to ransom themselves from the Muslims, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, we had ransom you no problem. But each one of you will have to teach 10 children how to read and write that will be your feeder, your ransom, they did that.

00:38:32--> 00:38:38

There was a technology called that the babba. In the land of the Arabs, we call it today the tank in Modern Warfare.

00:38:40--> 00:38:58

And it was a technology that the Arabs didn't know about. It seemed at least. So the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam wanted the companions to learn it. So he sent two companions, they learn Ibnu selama. And Ottawa even was owed to Jerash in Yemen. And he said, Go and learn this technology and bring it back to us. And they did.

00:39:00--> 00:39:13

We as Muslims, had the very first hospital in the masjid. And it was run by a woman. This is authentic little fader unless let me yeah, I'm sorry. Here is the name of the first nurse in Islam.

00:39:14--> 00:39:40

And she would treat the injured the wounded, the casualties of war, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam set up for her attempt and he put it in the masjid. And he encouraged the Muslims to go physicians, doctors, medics go and learn mountains, Allah Allahu Allah and in our hands and Allahu Shiva, every illness, he said, there is a cure, go and find it. Why am I mentioning this? To say to you that every track every craft, every trade, every science that was needed by the Muslims, Islam encourages to go and master it.

00:39:42--> 00:39:50

Now, I mentioning this because there are some statistics that suggest that as a Muslim community of all religious communities, we are most prone to depression.

00:39:52--> 00:39:59

Now, I don't know if these statistics are accurate. I don't know if there is an agenda behind them. But if they are true

00:40:00--> 00:40:38

Then I believe it to be a communal obligation upon us as a Muslim to produce clinicians, imams, counselors, who are trained, who are religiously literate, who will not compromise Islam during the therapy to take care of this issue that we are experiencing. If it is what these statistics are suggesting that it's the obligation of the hour for brothers sisters to specialize in the field, and to teach us Imams, scholars, students of knowledge, whoever they may be, you have to show a willingness to go and learn. I know you are willing to help and you want to help, but a lot of us will not know how to help. I speak about my training in the last how University and parts of Saudi

00:40:38--> 00:41:11

Arabia, we will not trained how to do this, we don't know. And then we come to the UK thinking we know everything that can solve the problem of a community but the problems are a lot more diverse in our training. So this needs to be incorporated incorporated in our seminaries and our universities, brothers, sisters, come forward train brothers be willing to go and learn Imams, and your job as an imam is not simply to carry out a marital agreement between the husband and wife and to mediate between people disputing you have to see the problems on the ground as well and part of them is mental health.

00:41:13--> 00:41:21

So you the need for sincere and professional help. Number four before I give you a quick break, is medical intervention.

00:41:24--> 00:41:25

Listen to what he says.

00:41:27--> 00:41:30

He says eventually I was thrown in some team mental camp

00:41:31--> 00:41:36

where I was finally diagnosed and I got medication which seemed to help.

00:41:38--> 00:42:13

He said they also gave us coping mechanisms like journaling, and whatnot along with therapy things were looking up. So he speaks about his experience with a taking an antidepressant and he tells us which antidepressant he takes in the letter and he said it had some effect. Before I continue with what he later says about the medication. In principle our religion sees no difference between medication that you take for your physical ailment and the medication for a mental one. In principle, there is no difference and Islam permits both in principle

00:42:14--> 00:42:31

and that is why when we started at Bucha week narrated that Bedouins the Ask the prophets Allah Allahu Allahu wa salam ala Rasulillah he alienated our messenger of Allah should we seek treatment? Should we just do ah Quran? There is treatment in that should we seek treatment?

00:42:32--> 00:42:54

He said nah um Yeah, I bet Allah He turned out well for in Allah Allah Allah, let me Yabba and in that world Allahu Shiva and yes, oh worshippers of Allah seek medication, because every illness that Allah Almighty has brought down he's brought with it its cure Illa anois hidden except one illness, he said Al haram, senility old age death, you cannot cure that.

00:42:55--> 00:43:12

So our religion encourages that if there is a medicine that can help a person call it Prozac or whatever it may be. Then in principle, our religion will not say this is a blanket prohibition, seek medication, and sometimes purely it is there is an imbalance in chemicals that require adjustment.

00:43:15--> 00:43:24

In fact, our mother I Isha, whenever a family would be bereaved, because of the death of a member of a family. She would make for them to Lena.

00:43:25--> 00:43:26

It's like a porridge dish.

00:43:27--> 00:43:37

It's barley Tamina barley that would be heated up boiled with maybe milk and they would add with it, honey to remove the bitterness of it, and you can buy it as a ready made sachets in the market.

00:43:38--> 00:43:48

And she would say that the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in that had been attached to GMO food and mercury, whatever they have will be about the notion that the Tamina

00:43:49--> 00:43:56

gives solace comfort to the heart of the ill, and it removes some of a person's sorrow.

00:43:57--> 00:44:13

So hey, Hadith, and I found that carabiner has been used in several clinical tests. If you look, you will find papers on this online, they use Catalina and compare it against the antidepressant effects of Prozac on rats and on human beings. And the results are phenomenal read about it.

00:44:14--> 00:44:16

For example, they took a group of

00:44:18--> 00:44:25

rats, and then they expose them to stressful situations for three weeks to bring down their mood and to distress them.

00:44:27--> 00:44:50

And then they divided them into four groups, two of which was a Prozac treated stress group. Prozac being the medication that is dispensed most commonly for depression, the Prozac treated stress group, and then another group, which was a tele Bina treated stress group, and they gave this group Prozac and this group has been up for about several weeks. And then they collected urine samples.

00:44:51--> 00:44:59

And they found Subhanallah that all of the parameters were restored across the board. Whether it's the levels of dopamine or ser

00:45:00--> 00:45:05

or toning or norepinephrine or it was all restored across the parameters.

00:45:06--> 00:45:18

And they found a substantial improvement in mood, in stress and in depressive symptoms. And they also did the same experiment on elderly because elderly are much more prone to depression than any other segment of a community.

00:45:20--> 00:45:38

So in principle, our religion does not prohibit a medical type of intervention as in when is required. But here's the thing we are to be aware, there is also a huge amount, some would argue, have an overdiagnosis in today's society of depression, and over dispensation for whatever agenda.

00:45:39--> 00:46:22

We do not see this type of medication as a treatment as a cure the clinicians and the experts would say, it's sometimes a temporary remedy, but it's not long term. And there are side effects to Prozac and their likes. There is of course, no side effects with Amina Al Hamdulillah. But bearing in mind that for the last 25 years, there has not been a new antidepressant on the market. psychiatrists are now forced to look elsewhere. And that's why by the testimony of Rohan himself, he says later on, my symptoms returned. So I doubled up on the medication. And again, it worked. He said, every solution, however, was always temporary. It wasn't the be all and end all at the end of it. And that's why I

00:46:22--> 00:46:28

now take you to the primary tools. We've covered how many of the secondary ones for

00:46:29--> 00:46:41

I share with you now six of them, but let me give you if you don't mind a two minute break just to stretch your feet, and we're about halfway there inshallah Ghana, two minute break. If you need to renew your old or stretch your feet change position, inshallah I

00:46:42--> 00:46:44

share with you some of the primary tools.

00:46:45--> 00:47:02

Like I said, What I mean by primary is not to detract from the secondary, it's just to emphasize the primacy of the primary ones. From a theological Islamic perspective. This is fundamental to our identity, these points I share with you they are five that are fundamental to our identity.

00:47:05--> 00:47:10

The first of the primary ones, this is point number five, the need for correct knowledge.

00:47:12--> 00:47:24

For hon, he writes, Allah subhanaw taala Have mercy, of course, upon the disease of the Muslims. He says consciousness is nothing but a byproduct of evolutionary luck.

00:47:27--> 00:47:41

Everyone thinks that the meaning of life is this deep, unsolvable mystery, but the conclusion I come to is really simple. The only reason for existence is happiness. And if the only reason to live is for happiness, then logically you shouldn't live.

00:47:42--> 00:47:43

If you aren't happy.

00:47:44--> 00:48:02

He also says, later on in the letter that, instead of having to deal with the aftermath of my suicide, he's talking about his family, and why he decided to kill them. Instead of having to deal with the aftermath of my suicide, I could just do them a favor and take them with me, none of us would have to feel sad again.

00:48:05--> 00:48:13

So do you see how sometimes incorrect knowledge can bring about an incorrect opinion,

00:48:14--> 00:48:26

which will then bring about an incorrect emotion, which will then bring about the incorrect behavior, and a very terrible and regretful outcome. It's all starts with white, sometimes, sometimes incorrect knowledge,

00:48:27--> 00:48:29

not seeing things for how they should be seen.

00:48:31--> 00:49:09

And that's why if we had a chance to speak to the likes of Farhan, this chance has slipped this, but maybe others who are ruminating, similar type of ideation, we would have said to them things like, consciousness is not the product of evolutionary lack. Consciousness is a gift endowed to us by Allah agenda, Allah, Allah Who with a purpose, so that we may use it for the higher purposes of life, to know Him to glorify Him to yearn for him too long for him to submit to Him. This is not the product of evolutionary like, but it's an issue that started here you see, it's information that could have been or should have been, or we would have loved to play a role in adjusting and

00:49:09--> 00:49:10


00:49:11--> 00:49:52

He says, for example, that the reason for existence is happiness. And you see the conclusion he came, that he built because of a wrong premise. The reason for existence is a happiness. Therefore, if it's not there anymore, then there is no need to live. We could have nipped this situation in the bud with correct knowledge by saying no. The reason for existence is what Allah Almighty said is the reason for existence, which is Allah the Halacha Mota will Hayato the One who created life and death, Lea bluer, come in order to test you. Or you can ask Allah, which of you will be best indeed. That's the purpose of life. One, luck to Gene now we'll insert Allah.

00:49:54--> 00:49:59

Allah said, I only created mankind and jinn kind so that they may worship Me. That is the purpose of it.

00:50:00--> 00:50:19

Not the pursuit of a worldly joy, a worldly happiness, that could be a byproduct of submitting to Allah. But the purpose here is to know Him to acknowledge him. And had he known this bit of correct knowledge, it would not have yielded the outcome of, if I am therefore not happy. Therefore, there is no reason to leave

00:50:20--> 00:50:21

correct knowledge.

00:50:22--> 00:50:31

We would have also mentioned that the outcome of killing your mum and dad and your sister and grandmother, does not necessarily mean that none of us would have to feel sad again.

00:50:32--> 00:50:35

Because life begins with death from an Islamic perspective.

00:50:36--> 00:50:49

That's where it all starts. And that's when real happiness and real pain, real misery begin in the life hereafter. And that is based upon the decisions you make today. Do you see

00:50:50--> 00:51:01

the importance of checking your opinions, especially when you are down against the opinion of others who are level headed and wise and religiously literate?

00:51:02--> 00:51:03

It's very important.

00:51:05--> 00:51:40

And that is why we marveled at the Prophet of Allah Yaqoob how was he able to be so composed at the hour of the travesty when use was conveyed to him that use of is taken away many Amin is taken away? How was he able to behave in such a correct way? Let me share with you the I all are in a school bethey were hosting in Allah. He said I complain of my death, my sorrow and my grief to Allah. And you say how was he able to be positive? How was he able to react like this? Is tech related? Ayesha, what's the end?

00:51:41--> 00:51:55

And I know of Allah, what you do not know what Allah I know, of Allah, what you do not know. What was it that enabled him to behave in this way during his time of depression there I say.

00:51:56--> 00:52:20

It was the knowledge that he had of Allah. He said, I know of Allah things that you don't know my sons, I know of his mercy. I know of his wisdom, I know of his planning, I know of his care for His servants, I know of His Names and his attributes, he will not let me down. So incorrect knowledge can eventually yield yield very incorrect behavior. And that is why it is very important for a person especially those who are down

00:52:21--> 00:52:46

to measure their beliefs and their understandings and their assumptions of life against the opinions of others who are more competent than they may be at that moment, because they are emotionally vulnerable. At that time, when you are upset and down, life will be dark according to how you see it not because life is necessarily dark. You we will see things for how we are not how they are.

00:52:47--> 00:53:02

So check your opinions against others speak to the people of knowledge, start a light quest for Islamic knowledge so that you may understand the Islamic worldview and correcting knowledge is the first step to correcting behavior.

00:53:03--> 00:53:12

That's number five, from the primary number six, the second of the primary is the need for Sabra the need for patience.

00:53:14--> 00:53:29

He mentions here about one day when his brother came into the room, his older brother, and he gave him the proposition, the following proposition. He said, Look, if we can't fix everything in the year, we will kill ourselves in our family.

00:53:31--> 00:53:42

But then he wrote We eventually realized that we were just biding our time waiting a year was way too long. Why not just wait a month? It's very unfashionable today

00:53:43--> 00:53:48

to say to someone who is experiencing sorrow, think about cyber patients.

00:53:49--> 00:54:24

And indeed, in certain settings, certain timings. It can be counterproductive to do it in that way. But it remains that suburb is a core tenet of our faith. suburb is what defines us as Muslims suburb is what makes us different to the angels and different to the animals as I shall show share with you in a moment suburb features in no less than 200 iron in the book of Allah gender Judo although Imam Muhammad Rahim Allah He said 90 verses of the Quran Imagine, imagine Sabra.

00:54:25--> 00:54:38

And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam has told us that a person who tries to do the right thing, Allah who will take ownership of his circumstance and he will bring you about the correct outcome. He said, Well manyatta somebody who's a bit of hula,

00:54:39--> 00:54:46

whoever shows patience, whoever endeavors to be patient, Allah Almighty will give him with patience.

00:54:47--> 00:54:55

Prophet Yaqoob here is that use of has been taken away. he utters a few words for several Jameel beautiful patients it is

00:54:57--> 00:54:59

then years later, I think no less than two decades for

00:55:00--> 00:55:05

haps when users conveyed him that Binyamin your other son is now detained in Egypt. What did you say?

00:55:06--> 00:55:12

For Sobral Jamil beautiful patients it is Allahu Akbar, what consistency despite his grief

00:55:15--> 00:55:17

and what is a sub regimen and what is beautiful patients?

00:55:19--> 00:55:26

Shareholders stakeholders Nnamdi Potamia, he said our sub role Jimmy Lou unless you lash Aquafina, he will allow beautiful patients

00:55:27--> 00:55:33

is that which has no complaining within it, and no complaining accompanied with it.

00:55:34--> 00:56:06

No complaining during it. That's beautiful patients and no complaining that is attached to it. That is a suburb Jimmy, although this does not contradict the idea of seeking counsel, taking advice. But the ideal patients which Jaco was able to exhibit is a subdural Jabeen the perfect patients where there is no complaint to anyone or to anything but Allah agenda Giuliana, he you complain to you and you tell him of your pain and your Bev and your sorrow, your hand and your government, your husband.

00:56:09--> 00:56:24

We would have said to such people, whether it's Farhan and his brother, may Allah Almighty have mercy, mercy upon the Muslims, and others in their situations that you can acquire patience. It can be learned, it's an endeavor that you have to make and eventually it becomes a trade.

00:56:25--> 00:56:46

We would have said to them, turn to the book of Allah and see the examples of sub patients that be with the people people have emotional resilience sub B with the people of patients, sometimes some of the most pessimistic and negative thoughts can be dispelled from the person's mind, simply by advice that is given to you by a sympathetic Muslim brother or sister.

00:56:48--> 00:56:53

And notice here when we talk about being with a pig, people have patients who was the one who gave Farhan the idea

00:56:55--> 00:57:12

who was the one who gave him the idea. It was a friend, it was his brother, be with the people of patients, we would have reminded them of the reward of some other patients in Islam. know suffering will, will mean that you will go empty handed the opposite is true.

00:57:14--> 00:57:17

In the Ummah, you were first Saburo natural home Bihari hisab. Allah said,

00:57:19--> 00:57:53

those who are patient will be given their reward on the day of judgment without account, without account to take, it will be given to them in heaps, and that's why there is no specified reward for fasting. Allah says fasting is for me and I shall reward for it why? Because it is a bad of patients and patients Allah promises there is no account, you will give your your agile you will be given your agile in ways that is without measuring without without account. Southern southern is what differentiates us from the animals and differentiates it from the angels. Solder is what makes us human beings.

00:57:54--> 00:58:21

Because you have angels, then you have humans. And then you have animals. As for the angels, they have no need to show patience because they are dispositioned to worship Allah Almighty all of the time. It's uninterrupted. So there is no need for patience. And as for animals, they are driven by impulse and desire and eating and drinking and relations. So they have no ability to show patients and then you have inserted the human beings somewhere in the middle.

00:58:22--> 00:58:39

And he is affected by both impulses, an impulse to be angel like a spiritual being and an impulse to be the other type driven by his desire. And what is it that allows you to stay in the safe space in the middle and working towards the angelic state southern patients

00:58:42--> 00:58:46

with a need for southern number seven, the need for dua

00:58:47--> 00:58:49

the need to complain.

00:58:52--> 00:58:53

For hon he wrote,

00:58:54--> 00:58:57

I tried my best to keep it together.

00:58:58--> 00:59:02

But my closest suit mate noticed I was completely off.

00:59:03--> 00:59:13

He offered to talk to me and I made the mistake of accepting. I told him everything. All you need to know is that a few weeks after our talk, I was kicked out of the dorm.

00:59:15--> 00:59:40

I can't really blame them. But I do wish they would have at least made the decision with me. So consistent theme in the letter by the way, the suicide note that he needed to complain. He needed to be understood. And here comes the importance of dua, a channel that Allah Almighty has opened up to you, between yourself the earth and into the heavens, the Kingdom the most capable himself.

00:59:41--> 00:59:48

At times you will complain to people and you will notice that they don't understand. They just don't understand.

00:59:49--> 00:59:53

Best case scenario they understand but guess what? They're unavailable to help.

00:59:54--> 01:00:00

Best case scenario they are available but they're unwilling to help. Best case scenario they are

01:00:00--> 01:00:02

available and willing but they are unable to help.

01:00:04--> 01:00:42

These are limitations deficiencies, that Allah Jalla did Allah who is free of when people are unavailable, he is available and when people are asleep he is and how you can use he is always awake and when people are unwilling, he is willing and when people are incapable he is either cliche and competent and able over, over all things, raise your hands and complain to him. In every human being, there is an inherent need if you are poverty, a sense of bankruptcy towards Allah, you have a need to complain to him and it is a need that people cannot satiate people cannot see.

01:00:45--> 01:00:58

And that is why I love the words of Pepsi Cola, slap Blanca him who says Phil can be schaffen ly aloo Mahal in the Kabbalah, Allah Allah. In the heart of every human being, there is a sense of scattering that can only be brought together by turning to Allah

01:01:00--> 01:01:10

will call be Washingtonia using Doha in Lebanon Subala. And in the heart of every human being there is a loneliness that can only be removed by finding companionship and nearness to Allah.

01:01:12--> 01:01:26

Or Phil kalbi has no law either he Hebrew industry, Ruby marriage, it was certainly viability. And in the heart of every human being, there is a sadness that can only be removed by being happy with your knowledge of Allah being true in your worship to Him.

01:01:29--> 01:01:50

Raise your hands at complaint and our Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam identified this need so he taught us to act to say if we are in grief if we are down if we are depressed, he said the Allah told McRib, the dua of the one who is distressed is to say the following words Allah humara Hermetica memorize it. Oh Allah, your mercy, I hope in it.

01:01:51--> 01:02:04

Fellow tequila and FC Tara Fatah in so don't interest me to myself for even the blinking of an eye, WA Saleh Alicia and eCola and correct all of my affairs for me na ILAHA in none has the right to be worshipped not you.

01:02:05--> 01:02:45

And when he saw Abu Manitoba he sat in the masjid at a time when people should be trading. He said to him I will not know why you sat in the masjid at this hour. He said your rasool Allah He who maumoon as he met me What do you own messenger of Allah anxieties that I have. And that's he said, I'm going to teach you a dua if you were to say it in the morning in the evening Allah Who will pay your debts and he will remove your anxieties and he said to him say the following words hola hola me out will be committed to me what hasn't? Oh Allah I seek refuge in You from him anxiety and hasn't sadness. What are all the becoming Elijah Z well castle and I seek refuge in You from inability and

01:02:45--> 01:03:02

laziness. What are all the weaker? menial Bulkeley? Well juban and I seek refuge in You from cowardice and stinginess. What are all they'll be coming dollar a day in your Hollaback your region and I seek refuge in You from the stress of debt and being overcome by men.

01:03:04--> 01:03:38

Seek refuge in Allah from anxiety and sadness meaning the anxieties of the future and the sadness of the past. And I seek refuge in Allah from inability and laziness because sometimes you're unable to do something. So oh Allah protect me from inability. And sometimes you're able to do something, but you're just lazy. You're lethargic. So protect me from laziness. Oh Allah, Hadith covers everything. And so on and so forth. Complain to Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah. And you've raised your hands to a Melek sovereign who was medic, who was courier, who is able subhanho wa taala.

01:03:40--> 01:03:46

Number eight before we get to the ninth and 10th in sha Allah is the need for hope.

01:03:48--> 01:04:07

He said, I live in so much pain and turmoil that is just not worth living anymore. In all of the suicide notes that I wrote, read, and there was probably 20 or 30 of them, this was the longest. They were different in so many aspects, written in many different languages, complaining of different things.

01:04:08--> 01:04:13

One thing they all had in common, however, is that they shared this denominator

01:04:14--> 01:04:17

of hopelessness, despair, there's no point.

01:04:20--> 01:04:59

Western tradition in all of the major Western literature the masterpieces, you will notice that they're predicated on tragedy, misery, loss, death, separation. Our tradition as most of them is different. Our stories are ones of hope, ones of optimism. Our stories from the Quran are ones where the good people prevail in this world, or the hereafter, or both. Our tradition is different. Our tradition is a cause for hope. And you turn to the book of Allah agenda, Julian who and if you recite it in a contemplative way you will find what you're looking for. Yeah. Subhanallah when will you find there in the Quran?

01:05:00--> 01:05:45

And Allahu Akbar ml optimism good omens, you will find saya dragula. Who bow city surah Allah is going to bring about after difficulties you find in nama allostery, Yusra with difficulty there is ease you find in the Quran where either so Allah Kariba the neat when My servants ask you about Me Allah that in new theory I am near OG Buddha, what a dare I either Don and I respond to the people who make dua. Hope you read in the Quran Lata and don't be sad in Allah hermana Allah Almighty is with us. You read in the Quran what Doha by the morning brightness when Layli either. sagia when the light comes in with its stillness, ma with die caribou. Kalama Allah, your Lord has not paid you for

01:05:45--> 01:06:29

farewell, nor does he hate you. Well, clearer to how you do let me know in the Hereafter is better for you than the current life. You read in the Quran and Allah HCA urine what what is with Allah is better and more enduring. You read in the Quran who Isla Yahaya and Allah says it is easy for me. What is your problem? What is your stress? What is your burden? Allah said who are Allah Yahaya and it is easy for me. You read in the Quran for now they feel blue mat he called in the darkness Allah ilaha illa and no one has the right to be worshipped but you Subhana glory be to you in equal to me not Lolly mean, I am one of the wrongdoers first Jebediah level so we responded to his grief when a

01:06:29--> 01:06:36

J Now Hamina Lavon. And we removed this distress worker, early colonial Momineen and this is how we save the believers

01:06:37--> 01:06:58

talam of optimism, Asha and Takara who che and maybe you hate something Allah says yog Allah Allah houfy He hired on Kathira but Allah will turn it into a huge blessing. La de la Allah Allah Allah you had you feel bad early Cumbre you don't know Perhaps Allah will bring about a different circumstance after this. A book of optimism and hope.

01:07:00--> 01:07:15

This is our tradition. One of hope. Yaku Alayhi Salatu wa sallam after he was losing it, but losing yourself, and then losing money. I mean, he said our Salah who are yet to nab him, Jimmy, maybe Maybe Allah will bring them all back to me.

01:07:17--> 01:07:41

So it seemed as the longer he experiences grief, and the more intense it becomes, the greater his hope proportionately grows. He doesn't say Maybe Allah will bring me use of, or maybe Allah will bring me back. Binyamin or maybe Allah will restore my vision. He said, Maybe Allah will bring them all back to me. Hope La Ilaha illa Allah, this is our tradition Subhan Allah Hinata. And hope allows people to live and flourish.

01:07:43--> 01:08:17

There is a man by the name of Viktor Frankl. And he was one of the survivors of the Auschwitz of Adolf Hitler. And he writes in his memoir that he calls Man's Search for happiness. He says that those people who felt that they had something to go home to and to look forward to, and were defined by hope they survived if they made it, and those who felt that there was no hope. There was no point there is nothing to go back to, they became depressed and they didn't survive. They died a lot quicker than others.

01:08:18--> 01:08:21

So part of our belief as Muslims is that

01:08:23--> 01:09:05

both sunshine and rain are required for roses to grow. And both daylight and the night are required for your flourishing as a human being. And similarly, anguish and pain and happiness and joy are both required for your flourishing in the Hereafter. And the ascension of the grades with Allah subhanho wa taala. I was, is a tradition of hope. And we remember and we say to people who are down that you are in dunya, dunya dunya, meaning the lower as opposed to earlier, which is the upper duniya, meaning it's at the lowest, and we're at the rock bottom, which means we can only go up from here could only go up from here. As a believer, you have every reason to be hopeful.

01:09:08--> 01:09:09

Number nine before I leave you with the 10th

01:09:11--> 01:09:12

this is perhaps one of the most important

01:09:13--> 01:09:16

the need for self actualization and meaning.

01:09:18--> 01:09:30

He says end of summer rolls around and income senior year, the best year of my life. Why was it the best year of his life? Think about it and you'll see how it links to this heading I put for you which is self actualization and the need for meaning.

01:09:32--> 01:09:36

He says I somehow managed to get a girlfriend who was way out of my league.

01:09:37--> 01:09:46

I became a programming stuff would Allah Allah forgive me for saying this I became a programming God. And he said I made a solid new friend group.

01:09:47--> 01:09:58

Things got even better when I got into computer science at UT Austin, which is supposed to be a big deal. I never really cared about school, but it felt good having something that others cared about.

01:10:00--> 01:10:28

Then he says you people are spending hours upon hours listening to lectures, meaning university lectures, doing homework, studying for a year, at least four years so that you can get a job and make some money. And then you plan on working in that job for about a third of your life and you sleep for a third of your life. And then you do god knows what not for the other third of your life. How are you satisfied with that? He said, Don't you ever get bored or upset with the menial stuff of life? So what was he struggling with?

01:10:29--> 01:10:30

What was he struggling with riders?

01:10:32--> 01:10:42

Lack of purpose, lack of meaning, what is the point he uses the word apathetic, I'm a pathetic, I don't care. I don't care. I just couldn't care. And he says

01:10:44--> 01:10:50

it bugged the hell out of me where I did everything right, I just couldn't care. Nothing could motivate him.

01:10:52--> 01:11:05

The idea that there is a human being an inherent need to actualize the self to find purpose. If I was to take now a group photo, all of us are Ramadan Mubaraka group photo, then I show you the photo.

01:11:07--> 01:11:08

What will you look for in that photo?

01:11:12--> 01:11:13

You would look for

01:11:15--> 01:11:16

yourself? Would you do the same?

01:11:17--> 01:11:57

No, probably I would. How am I looking? Am I blinking? Am I taller than others? Is someone on their tiptoes. Right? Everyone would look for himself, every sister would look for herself. What does that show you? We have a need as human beings to know where we fit into the grand scheme of life. Where do I fit into the bigger picture of things. And that's why Subhanallah from a psychological perspective, I found in my short career in this field, that the most effective topic I can address in terms of grabbing attention not to say this is an objective or a purpose. But just through observation, the topic that captivates people the most is what I'm talking about vision, your vision

01:11:57--> 01:11:58

in life.

01:11:59--> 01:12:17

What is your purpose? What is your contributing whenever we go down that line? Subhanallah pindrop silence why? Because you've tapped into a need into the human being. Why do we love Surah Yusuf so much, by the way, Surah Yusuf, everyone loves to use it, because you can relate to it, you can relate to it.

01:12:18--> 01:12:29

So you want to know where you sit in the grand scheme of things. And that's why there was a motivational psychological theory put together by a man called Abraham Maslow.

01:12:30--> 01:12:38

And he theorizes what he calls the hierarchy of needs, have you come across it, put your hand up, if you heard of it, Abraham the hierarchy of needs.

01:12:42--> 01:12:52

He has the idea that man searches for the bottom part of the pyramid, the basic needs, and then he continues to aspire for higher things in life till he gets to the peak of the pyramid.

01:12:53--> 01:13:05

So work with me now for a moment, brothers, he says, You're at the bottom of the pyramid is your physiological needs, meaning the need for food and drink, warm comfort, it starts with that.

01:13:06--> 01:13:51

When you have that, you want to search for something above it. incomes, your safety needs, you need security, something that's a country where you're not going to be in a warzone, a job security your your security needs. And then when you have that, you want to go up the pyramid again, you now search for belonging needs. So this is friendship, intimate connections, marriage, a family. Then when you have that you go on to number four, which is what is steam needs, the need to be accomplished. The need to be praised the need to achieve something to be identified and recognized steam needs. And then when you have that you aspire for the last bit of the pyramid, which is what?

01:13:53--> 01:13:57

self actualization, which is to accomplish your full potential.

01:13:59--> 01:14:06

It's a phenomenal theory to be honest with you, as across the board. Everyone has discussed it, and it's a highly shared theory,

01:14:07--> 01:14:09

but it has been critiqued.

01:14:10--> 01:14:31

Why? Well, they say that if this is the need the hierarchy of needs and every human being, why is it that some people have achieved all of these things? So they've got their back doesn't they've got their Oscars, they've got their cars and they've got their, their esteem, everyone's talking about them. They've got their safety, they've got their food and drink everything, yet they still commit suicide.

01:14:33--> 01:14:35

They have an array of mental health disorders, how come?

01:14:37--> 01:14:58

How come some people who have achieved all of these things which are apparently the ultimate ambition of every human being, yet some are still willing to sacrifice it in a cause? Like jihad for example, martyrdom, or to sacrifice and protection for your son or your daughter or someone you want to save? You sacrifice your life and all of the pyramid for someone else.

01:14:59--> 01:14:59


01:15:00--> 01:15:02

So there must be something missing in the pyramid.

01:15:03--> 01:15:04

And that's when a man called

01:15:05--> 01:15:16

Martin Seligman and American psychologists came aboard and he says, there is a different theory. I would like to posit. He called it perma. It's similar to the hierarchy but he adds one extra ingredient which is what,

01:15:17--> 01:15:18

which is what the

01:15:20--> 01:15:20


01:15:23--> 01:15:27

meaning which he defines as what we're looking for something that's bigger than yourself.

01:15:29--> 01:15:33

Because if you say at the top of the pyramid is self actualization,

01:15:35--> 01:15:41

it must mean that you need something more than yourself, to serve something that is higher than you.

01:15:43--> 01:15:59

And we have been given meaning who has a greater answer to the meaning of life than us as Muslims, Allahu Akbar. And this, Abraham's Hierarchy of Needs is found in the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam where he speaks about all five things in one Hadith.

01:16:00--> 01:16:02

Does anyone know which do you think is

01:16:04--> 01:16:05


01:16:08--> 01:16:10

Maybe this needs investigation, but not this one.

01:16:13--> 01:16:16

He sallallahu alayhi wa sallam came into the city of Medina.

01:16:18--> 01:16:31

And a Jew by the name of Abdullah Hebrew Salam came to see if this is truly the messenger of God prophesized in the Old Testament. And he said everyone from the city of Medina crowded around him as he was coming in for the first time.

01:16:32--> 01:16:48

And the very first words I heard him announced to the community were the following. What did you say? carry with me? Are you a nurse? Oh people, Muslims, non Muslims, all people. This is his constitution from Medina. A few salaam spread peace.

01:16:50--> 01:16:52

What up I'm gonna distribute food,

01:16:53--> 01:17:04

or sleep or harm, take care of family ties, was a little bit lately when nursing young and pray at night when people are asleep, that whole agenda to be Salam, you will enter paradise in peace.

01:17:06--> 01:17:37

Listen to those five levels and compare them with Mr. Abraham Maslow's hierarchy. And Martin Seligman, in addition of meaning, you will find it all there was the first thing he said, I've just said, I'm spread peace. That's your physiological needs. And notice how he mentioned this before the physiological needs. Maslow said it starts with physiological food and drink then security. Our profits that I sent them said no security than food and drink. Why? Because without security, you can't eat and drink Subhanallah has to begin with security of a country security versus City.

01:17:38--> 01:17:40

spread peace, security needs.

01:17:41--> 01:17:49

He said distribute food. Yeah, that's your physiological needs food and drink. And then he said what?

01:17:52--> 01:17:56

Take care of family ties. So Durham take care of family ties. That's your that's your belonging needs.

01:17:58--> 01:17:59

And then he said what

01:18:00--> 01:18:11

was a little bit lazy when this when the prayer night when people are asleep. That's your esteem needs. Because when you pray at night, you have esteem in the eyes of Allah. And what happens when you have esteem in the eyes of Allah.

01:18:12--> 01:18:48

You have esteem in the eyes of people, it will happen. That's your esteem needs pay up. And then he said that hold on Jen netherby Salam, you will enter paradise in peace. That's your self actualization. And that is your meaning. You've pleased a lot in the jungle and you've entered the home of peace and look at how our hierarchy begins with peace. And it ends with peace. So what peace can there be in the life of a human being who tries to find peace in the absence of Allah subhanaw taala the absence of this? Yeah, Hola. Hola. Hola, como. So what is your purpose in life? A person who is living self actualized and is pursuing a higher meaning that transcends his goals, as a human

01:18:48--> 01:18:48


01:18:51--> 01:18:58

He cannot be slowed down permanently by the menial things in life.

01:18:59--> 01:19:34

And he has not attached his hopes to something that is transient and passing. He has meaning. Find it my brother, find it my sister, ask yourself, what is your vision? What is your purpose in life? What is your skill? What is your craft? What is your trade? What are you good at? Why do you specialize in what I've not specialized in? What are you passionate about? And how will you direct it for the home of the Hereafter? And watch how this will be this will translate into mental well being spiritual well being and the rest of it? Does it mean that you will never be upset? No, you can be upset, and you can experience sorrow, and you will be aggrieved. This is life. But it will

01:19:34--> 01:19:53

really help you come back on track because you are guided by a very important Northstar. And that is meaning self actualization to the pursuit of the pleasure of Allah and the home of the Hereafter. And that takes us to our last and final point, which I will leave you with, which is the need for perspective towards dunya versus the Hereafter.

01:19:55--> 01:19:57

And for Han he said that it's not fair.

01:19:58--> 01:20:00

how everyone can be so

01:20:00--> 01:20:03

content. While I can't even fathom being happy,

01:20:04--> 01:20:24

no matter what I do, I just can't be happy, it bugged the hell out of me, every solution was always temporary. And I live in so much pain and turmoil that it isn't even worth living anymore. And so any person who searches for permanent joy and happiness in the life of this world, I am sorry to say you're looking in the wrong place.

01:20:25--> 01:20:28

Those are attributes of a different home.

01:20:29--> 01:21:06

Those are attributes of the hereafter. A person who places his fundamental values of determination and hope and aspiration and ambition and longing and yearning on to the life of this world has fixated these fundamental values on shifting sand, and they will sink with the sand, and when they sink, your happiness and wellbeing will sink with, but he who places these fundamental values of hope and aspiration and determination and longing and yearning upon Allah and the home of the Hereafter, you have placed them on that which is enduring that which is permanent, and they do not go away so you can never be let down.

01:21:10--> 01:21:11

So, perspective

01:21:14--> 01:21:16

we take what we need from the life of this world.

01:21:17--> 01:21:28

But we use it as an as we use a vehicle that takes us from destination A to B, we we are finished with that destiny with the vehicle, we cast aside the vehicle and we move on to the destination.

01:21:29--> 01:21:58

And we wear bifocal lenses in the life of this world. bifocal lenses, meaning that you see what is near. And then you can also see what as far as a Muslim you see what is near the life of this world, your what your body needs, what your family needs, what you're doing your needs, the physical needs, but because you are bifocal, you also see what is beyond the physical. You see the spiritual, you see the metaphysical, you see the world of the unseen. And that's when everything comes into place.

01:22:00--> 01:22:04

The values of happiness and joy that we are looking for brothers and sisters are not provided by the life of this world.

01:22:06--> 01:22:09

And that's why it's unfair to expect this role to be what it wasn't designed to be.

01:22:10--> 01:22:18

Allah managed our expectations clearly when he said luck Calakmul in Santa Fe combat we've created man in turmoil. So we should be no surprise.

01:22:21--> 01:22:24

And when the people enter agenda, the very first announcement that will be made,

01:22:25--> 01:23:05

is in the document to hail Falletta Motueka for you you will be given life never shall you die again. When the lack of mental health allowed to Scotland and you will be given health you will never fall ill again. When the lack of mentorship bufala to horombo you will be given vitality youth you will never go old again when they document and move on. So you will be given bliss joy. You will never be upset again. When will you will never be upset again. That's the moment you add to agenda. When those beautiful gates they open up and you take a deep inhalation of the pure as of Jana and you hear the majestic sounds of gender and you are paired with the whole on your spouse in gender

01:23:05--> 01:23:24

and you finally you meet Allah Jalla Jalla Allahu the Lord who you have been worshipping for so many years in the unseen and now the veils they are removed and you see His majestic face there in gender that people will say Alhamdulillah hinda, the herberton and has an All praise is due to Allah Who has removed degree from our hearts.

01:23:26--> 01:23:38

When will we utter those words, the moment we enter agenda insha Allah Hudaydah limini Harada Foliat Mililani lon This is the home that people should be working towards. So perspective

01:23:39--> 01:23:52

of dunya in comparison to the hereafter, and any suffering as long as it is in dunya that it is temporary and life is sabrosa it is just a moment of perseverance.

01:23:54--> 01:24:09

We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to have mercy upon the season of the Muslims we ask Allah subhanaw taala to alleviate the pain and the harm of all of those who are suffering in silence. We ask Allah subhanho wa Taala to make us a means of Hidary and well being and uplifting for those who are aggrieved.

01:24:10--> 01:24:13

Well Sal, Allahu Allah and the you know, Hamad Al Hamdulillah Yamuna