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Ramadan Motivations 21 – Choose a Righteous Friend

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Ali Albarghouthi

Channel: Ali Albarghouthi

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Bismillah Solomonic Mohammed's Allahu wa canto

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in sha Allah will start. And yeah, there's actually 630 hamdulillah. I mean, so to start now

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see that he would have really no, so that was said, I'm not assuming that he might early he will say me, he was saying,

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begin by praising him Subhana Allah and asking him, to bless us and to accept from us and to strengthen us to increase a man in our heart, to renew it, and to give us stuck, who are and who short.

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And to bless us with following the sooner the messenger so Allahu Allah who it was in them in big and small matters, and bless us with submitting him to Panama to Allah, submitting to him in body, but also some bit submitting to him in intellect in Britain, in how we think and how we behave so that we believe that the guidance of Allah zildjian is the best of guidance, and the application of the Prophet sallallahu. wasallam is the best of application it's better than anything that we could come up with, or any other human being could come up with. So we asked him to pan over to Allah to give us this submission and this surrender and the serenity that is the consequence of that

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surrender, mean? Ask Allah azza wa jal to send salah and Salaam, upon the messengers of Allah YT, who early you are seldom, and to elevate his name and to protect his sooner and to defend his honor and to make us of his followers, and of those who are close to him and closest to him in the Day of Judgment. And in Jenna, me

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have the hamdulillah I think we finished the first odd night

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May Allah so to accept from all of us, and whether you've been able to do a lot in it, and if that's the case, then thank Allah zildjian if you only could do a little bit, at least thank Allah for the little that you could do and consider it to be a motivation for the next odd night that is to come, which is the 23rd right. And

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the even night, the night of the 22nd shouldn't be neglected as we said, when we spoke about the last 10 of Ramadan, the last or the even night should not be neglected. So also deposit something in them on the chance that this also could be in a lot of others. So do your PM, do your Salah, do your Eva, the Quran and then do and thicker It does not have to be to the same intensity of the night. It could be if you wish, if you have the energy it could be with the same intensity. But if you don't have it, then you can dedicate most of your energy in sha Allah to the odd nights because those are the likeliest nights, but don't deprive or empty those even nights from Eva that could be a witness

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for you and then as we said in case that it is later from Allah.

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So thank Allah as though it didn't no matter what and keep asking him for his for his support because without that we will not have energy to continue to worship Him. That energy will come from Allah xojo subhana wa tada data, who leads home he loves to what he loves to ask Allah to be among those Allah Allah loves and whom he leads to what he loves. So our Hadith for today is narrated by Abu Dawood and a tirmidhi.

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And in it, the messenger sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said ultrasoft have elimu Amina, what are your call for Amica India Turkey. He said Do not be friend or take as a companion except a moment

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and let only the one of taqwa eat your food or consume your food only the one who has done what let them consume and eat your food.

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So the messengers of Allah audio sent them in this hadith is talking about companionship and friendship

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and how important it is in shaping us and guiding us or in Miss guiding us and that's why he said in this Hurry, lol to Sahib Illumina, that is when you aren't going to be friend someone more Sahaba is to have a companion. This companion could be in travel. This companion could be a neighbor, this companion could be a spouse. This companion could be our more visibly a friend that you take who always and whom you always sit next to talk to converse with confide in. share stories with whether you know you are sitting face to face or you're doing it that over the phone.

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That is a companion law to sa have lm Amina only be friend a moment.

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The second part is when I go to our market. They only let the consumer

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meal food. That doesn't mean that when you can give out food only give it to a person of taco I don't assist someone who's hungry, but may not have the point doesn't mean that it means you're about the one whom you're going to invite to your home. Who are you inviting to your house? On a regular frequent basis sitting and eating your food right next to you sees what's inside your home. You listen to their stories and he listens to your stories, right? So are you taking as a companion whom you're inviting to your home, but it's not talking about assisting people with food. There's a laws of justice in the Quran with a mono tamada hobby they feed food despite love their love for it

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despite even maybe their need for it. Myskina they feed them scheme wire tema they feed the orphan was Sierra, the captive? a captive is typically right, what happens to be a non Muslim, but they still feed and Allah praises them for feeding a non Muslim. So if there is a Muslim or a non Muslim who need food, you give them food. You don't have to stop and investigate their piety. Even if they are not pious, that means that you deprive them of food. No, we don't do that. Right? Allah reward you for whoever you feed. Of course, the person of taqwa has priority. This is why because he's more pleasing to Allah, He will take that food, consume it and use the energy that comes out of it in

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what pleases Allah xojo. But it doesn't mean that if someone is about to die or someone is hungry, you don't give them food just because they like taqwa. You give them food, even if they are Muslims or non Muslims, it doesn't matter, you give them food. But the Hadith is not talking about any of this the Hindi they're talking about whom you invite to your home over your medium lunch, dinner, for a thought, for instance, that is available where you live, and they become your friends, become your companions. Now, why is that? They say that in Arabic of Papa rock, your habit is going to steal or borrow from people a thought or set up, your habit is going to steal or rather copy from

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people around you. So you will notice this if people start speaking in a certain way, and that person is your companion in in a while you will start also speaking the same way, using the same words, same phrases. This is something that insha Allah soupy. So

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common sense to all of us that there's no need for evidence. But if you need evidence, just go back to your own experience. And you'll find that if you're sitting next to someone, and they choose this particular phrase, you like that phrase, they keep repeating it, you find yourself repeating that thing. So they tell certain jokes, you will copy these jokes, tell them to some other people, their stories become your stories and your story become their stories. It's not only that we borrow phrases, we also borrow way of thinking, how that person thinks how they see the world, right? become your own. If you allow it, if they become your companion, you see them all the time you talk

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to them all the time. So that's why you see people offset. When they sit together, they start thinking like each other. And people who think like each other, they become friends as well.

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So it happens in both ways. If you are sitting with someone, and you allow that person, okay to be your companion, their beliefs, their convictions, worldviews way of life, slowly starts seeping into you. And you become to you, you start adopting. So if that person lacks step one, they like eema, they don't feel a lot as their origin, their lifestyle invites you. Right implicitly invites you to that way. And if you are their companion, then their words they're displeasing to Allah become yours. At least in the beginning, if you want to keep them as a friend, you're not going to tell them hey, this is how Tom, this is how long you can talk about this, you should you know not

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mentioned that, if you want them to be a companion, if you'd like them, and you want them to be a friend, you will not criticize them. And if you do criticize them, and if they are like piety, they'll run away from you. So if you invite the Empire's to be your friend, you will at least stop criticizing them. In time you'll start accepting what they say, and their way of life. And then in time, you'll start sympathizing with it and develop fondness for the person and what they do, isn't it?

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If you don't believe this again, or if you doubt this, see someone who's watching

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sports or TV and they said they watched specific series or they watch if they follow a specific team, how they start to sympathize with the actors and with the

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players and follow them beyond the series and beyond the games. Know that they're interested in what they say interested in how they live and it just said, you know, in details about their lives,

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They may actually may start copying some of their lifestyles, but at least what develop that interest in the person, that exposure constant exposure to this person even though it's on screen,

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but that develops feelings and when you have feelings, you want to be close to that person. And when you want to be close with a person, you can't help but copy what they say and what they do. So, presence of the Empire and surround you will bring them into your heart and you begin to sympathize, develop fondness for them and copy them. And they'll inspire you to do what to sin.

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To nothing about Allah but about the dunya to only be interested in consumption and buying new things in your own, travel overseas and whatever that that's their concern, and that becomes yours. Whereas if you bring as the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, the movement and the tepee into your life, the moment inspires you to be close to Allah just by even without saying anything, their appearance. When they walk, you find that they're humble. They follow the Sunnah externally, they follow the Sunnah internally, how they speak, where they look, how they respond. When you ask them, How are you on they say and hamdulillah. When they if you start talking about something, and

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they talk about things of interest to them, and they talk about not that they're boring all the time, they're only going to be talking about messages and books and stuff. I don't mean that right. They have also interest in hobbies. But these interests and hobbies will be things in line with what Allah loves. They can talk about soccer, but not in a way that displeases Allah, they can talk about travel, but not in a way that displeases Allah. Here's a good spot that is free of hora travel there. There's an you know, for instance, a good book that just came out. And it's a good book doesn't have to be necessarily an Islamic book, but it's a good book, they guide you to something

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that benefits you in this life, and then the next. And if you have any pain, any anxiety, they come for you Oh, remember, Allah says, Allah will take care of it. Allah, you just pray to Allah, Allah will help you. Or if they have advice, they'll tell you, I've gone through this thing. And I did this and it's helped and benefited. Or if they don't know, they'll take it to someone who knows because they are like a source of good.

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And that's just an aloha to you or send them LGD Susana, the good companion is like someone who sells you perfume.

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If you have a perfume shop in Sharla, if you're going there maybe before any Allah knows, after he or the next time you are in a perfume shop, remember this heady, there is if you have a friend who owns a perfume shop,

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and you go into it, right? All the the entire experience is positive, because either you are going to buy something from there, and that's positive. And that thing that you're going to buy, you will take it home, and its effect will last because every time that you put the perfume on, you will remember right and you will feel better about yourself is you know, it's physically or feel better emotionally, you feel better when you smell something nice. Or he gives you a gift. Here's something try it at home because he's your friend. Or if none of that at least you'll smell something pleasant when you're in that shop. So the entire experience is positive. This is like being around the

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believer. The whole experience is positive. They don't betray you if they come into your house. They don't look at false inside your head look out look at how they expensive things that he had bought. Well, he just bought a new thing. What did he get all that money from? Oh, look, you know, look at his kids, how do they misbehave and they take all of that and they spread it outside. That is what a in pious person will do whereas the pious person doesn't look like that does not look at these things does not look like that. At least this is how we're supposed to act if we have piety.

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There's increases criticize you if you don't offer a lot of food, right hamdulillah he's content with what you have.

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And a play he thanks a lot for it. So in this Hadith, the Prophet sallallahu Sallam is telling us be selected when you choose and that choice includes also choosing a spouse. For the four without the dean choose the religious one, the prophets a lot of synonyms and how to choose the religious one. And then choosing a friend and choosing also virtually whom you follow on who you befriend. It's not only physically around you, but when you go online, Facebook, YouTube, Instagram, I don't know Tick Tock if you're on Tick Tock whatever it is not telling you to at this moment, join or not to join or whatever, I don't know who you follow because what you follow matters and I think with Tick Tock I

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think it's kind of more, the most corrupt of all of those will follow and I think a lot

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so if you find it to be the most corrupt, you need to withdraw from it a lot. But what I'm saying here is

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Here I'm on this medium, and I can click and follow click on like click and befriend. Before you click.

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Ask yourself before you send an invitation or accept an invitation, ask yourself will this person benefit me? By bringing me closer to Allah or further away? Will his companionship be pleasing to Allah or displeasing? If it is displeasing to Allah don't follow. Don't accept, don't invite. So look again now on you at your feet, everything that is coming your way. Everything that as you read is influencing your mind and influencing your heart and influencing your EMA because it is shaping, shaping you whether you know it or not, is shaping your day.

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How you think, what matters to you, and what does not matter what you read. Or today, the prices are rising today. This is rising today, if it's all negative news is really subpanel what you know, increasing negativity and anxiety in your heart. But if there's positive news isn't in a positive spin, or a way of seeing the world, it will influence you. If it motivates you, you will be motivated for the rest of the day. So look at your feet, and cleanse it. Clean it. If you find things in it that do not benefit you bring you agony, bring you envy makes you envious. Compare it comparing yourself to other people, take you away from Allah. So just delete, delete, delete. And

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then if you find things that are pleasing to Allah and bring you closer to him, these are the things that you keep. And from now on, consider that when you befriend someone, or make them your companion, whether in real life or virtually, whether it's a friend at work, college university or someone that you invite at home, this is the recommendation over the Prophet sallallahu alayhi. Wa early he was setting. Now

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what hamdulillah mean? So in sha Allah let's

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Yes, there was one question before I forget that question.

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The question was about a woman's hour in front of her family. So basically, the question was asking that if a woman is at home, is she supposed to cover up?

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Or in front of her family? So in family let's What do we mean by that? Let's say parents, siblings,

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brothers and sisters, or in front of her children, or in front of other females, right, though they may not be family, but there are other females? So is she supposed to cover up? Or can we Where can she wear shorts? Something like that, like a tank top? That was the question. So we say okay, insha Allah, this really is about the our walk away, a Muslim woman needs to need to cover in front of other people. So of course, now we know that in front of her husband, wife, husband, husband and wife, there is no Allah.

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But if we're talking about a woman in front of her family family here, I specifically mean by that what I mentioned, parents or grandparents, I mean, siblings, and then children, and it can conclude in that aunts and uncles, and then we said other females, what is the our, the correct opinion about this? insha Allah is for our is what what typically would be revealed in such circumstances? What does that mean? Meaning what would a woman reveal in front of her in front of her uncle

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in front of another woman that she doesn't know? What would she reveal

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things that she would be, we would need to reveal at home, if she's working and involved in housework, meaning that she does not have to put the hijab on so nothing to cover the head. She can cover uncover her sleeves, you know, up for the arms here. Chicken can cover that she can uncover her feet,

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legs, maybe up to the ankles are a little bit tired, you know, up to the middle of the legs, right? You know, have some men who you know would wear according to the suit that they would raise their garments up to the middle of the legs, something like that. So up to there. So that's what she would reveal onto it also that her clothing are not revealing they're not transparent and they're not too tight to describe the body. That is our have a Muslim woman in front of all that we've mentioned. So in front of her father, this is how she would appear. Now there's something that is tight, not something that she wouldn't wear a short or a tank top that reveals her chest

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or shoulders right? So she wouldn't do this. That's what she would adopt in front of her father in front of her siblings in front of her children in front of other females.

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So we know that that says some non Muslim that some Muslim woman would do that and we know a lot of non Muslim women do that in front of other females they think that there is no our so some some of them they just meet naked, non Muslim woman or for some Muslim woman, they can be in their underwear and they think

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That's okay because just it's another woman No, no, it's not. You still this is still out right in front of another woman. So you need to be covered up as I've described, something that is loose, something that is non transparent. And that covers you know, most of your body, you don't need the hijab, but

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the arm you know the, the hands up to the arms here and then the legs up to the middle of the leg and a loose fitting clothing that is not transparent, that style. So I hope insha Allah that sufficiently answers that question shall Allah so Allah como Salaam and sponsoring food for thought? Should we give priority to the less fortunate well off? Or should we sponsor if our regardless of whether they are rich or poor? Well, I obviously ma'am insha Allah if you have an opportunity to sponsor and if thought for the let for the poor people that you know, they are the most deserving.

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So if you if let's say for instance, if you can sponsor it, and if Thomas supports that, we are talking locally, and I know that there's a region or a Masjid that caters to people who have less money versus another area and Masjid were more athletes, affluent people live. Obviously, those people who need more deserve it more. versus those who are ritual really don't need that food of me is still theirs has enough when I do a good deeds when I do it, but they don't need it as much. So your sadaqa will count more when it meets need, when it satisfies those who need more wood needed the most. So I think yes, directed to an area directed to a Masjid or even directed to a country

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where people needed the most Allah as the deliver, would you more because of it? The South that's one of the reasons were sort of accounts more is when it does more, set up accounts more when it does more, and it does more when someone needs it a lot.

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How about working environment shape? Because most of the time people will be with their colleagues, at least minimum eight hours a day, five days a week. Yeah. Even though in a working environment, it's the same thing. Now you don't have control over who's sitting next to you in the next cubicle. Right? Who your boss is, who your Who are the people you're interacting with, you don't have control over who's there, but you have control over over whom you have extended conversation with.

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Now, sometimes you have a conversation with someone because you have a goal in mind. Maybe your goal is dour.

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So you know you invite them home, they're not pious, they don't pray, maybe they're not Muslim, but you invite them home because I want to, you know, invite them to Islam at least I want them to understand Islam better see Muslims firsthand, see how we eat how we live. And that will soften their hearts in sha Allah. So maybe later I can talk to them. Or if not me, somebody else, some other Muslim will find the groundwork already laid out. And they can talk to them about Islam, but I what I introduced that.

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So at work, maybe you're interacting with someone because you want to invite them to Islam. So yeah, that's how you talk to them. Or they're not Muslim, but they have good manners.

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You know, there's more. I mean, there was agreement between the UN to our in terms of habits, personalities, way of life, how we look at life, and they respect that you're not going to talk about this, you're not gonna talk about that you're against obscene language, you don't appreciate talking about sin and alcohol and this, they respect it, and you're able to influence them. Okay? Rather than what they are forcing that all all forcing all of that on you and you accepting it. So of course, right? It applies to work in environment as well, if a person is likes it, and you can change them so that they are more pleasing to Allah, at least while they're interacting with you,

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then you have to think about whether this is something for you or not. And it's not when it is hot, when it's inviting you to help them because more and more you will be sympathetic as we said to how they speak to their lifestyle, I bent down to the bar and a drank and that they begin to think oh, that's, that's okay. That's interesting. That's exciting. Maybe maybe seems interesting enough. Maybe I can try it one day. Right? And that's the problem is that the more that you listen to sin, that word becomes normal and it becomes normal and exciting and interesting. You want to imitate or at least just explore what this this field like What does alcohol taste like? It just seems so much

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fun and it's just why because you've been listening to all of that.

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Okay, so yeah, anyway, I love let's do this last question. Last night I accidentally fell asleep for an hour or two. Does that cancel my piano? No, not absolutely not. You can sleep you doesn't have to be accidental. You can intentionally sleep for an hour or two or three or most of the night if you will.

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Your tm is not canceled by any of this remember that we said that our tm could be as little as what

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just praying Torah we're in the Torah hasn't gone away that's it

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that can all take from you 10 minutes

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This is likely that why am I saying this it's not to discourage people and say by the way guys the only the only thing you need to know 10 minutes and that's it and just go and sleep or eat and or what? That's not it. It is just to say that

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if at any certain point let's suppose for instance today I'm sick I have a headache today I have a stomach ache today.

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I really cannot like I emotionally physically I just cannot I can't bring myself to do a lot, for whatever reason and but we understand Islam goes up and then it goes down goes up and it goes down among those 10 nice remember this insha Allah among those 10 nights, you're gonna find those nights when you are inspired and you have energy and you want to do a lot.

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when that's the case, take advantage of it. Allah zoton is putting this into your heart and body because he wants you to do something, take advantage of it.

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Right It's like somebody Subhana like giving you the keys to a house and telling you go ahead go inside because they're inviting you that's an invitation from Allah. Some of those other nights you'll find yourself to be sluggish, tired, not in the mood. You don't have a lot of energy. We're saying first of all when that happens ask Allah for support. Yeah, Allah helped me

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Yeah, Allah help me I can't I just can't today. My stomach is not helping you My head is just so heavy. He says I can't I can read a lot of the online I can do a lot of salt I can do a lot a lot of dough. I just feel I want to do something else. Just simply like them find find the hamdulillah just we say what? Say Allah help you Allah help Allah Marini? Yeah, Allah helped me I don't think you should recall his name. And then just do the fun stuff for a lot of stuff, a lot of stuff. Lots of Han Allah Subhana Allah. If you do this for the next maybe 15 minutes, 20 minutes, half an hour.

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You see how Allah will guide you, you're going to like to change your mood. You can feel a little bit better I could, I didn't feel I wanted to read more on maybe I can. Maybe I'll fall asleep like this

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question. fall asleep, maybe actually you fall asleep. And because you fall asleep for half an hour and an hour, you'll wake up and you'll feel better, you'll feel energized. He just emotionally you'll feel better, you can do more.

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Right? Or if and the worst case scenario, worst case scenario, the only thing that you can go do at that night maybe I love this testing. And that night you can do anything except what preach what occurs, you know, you pray your Aisha your sooner and then you pray to rock house. And in that those two rock as you read and as I said, this is the minimum that we want 10 is in the first 10 is in the second breakout, this is not going to take much for me right? Then I attend is right. And then in your schedule, you just make some do up. And then you stand after the twos like Assalamu alaikum, Salaam Alaikum. And then you stand pre wondering, that's it. This counts SPM you did clear.

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So cam is not conditioned on the fact that it has to be all night.

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Or it has to be for hours and hours and hours your pm is minimum this maximum is paying the whole night. Now I do not know of someone personally right, who prays the whole night.

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I need the prophets of the law to send them and some of the Sahaba and maybe some people in the world today could do this the whole night all the way meaning that all the way just

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I don't know if people who could do this. But it doesn't have to be that or nothing. No, it could be your theme could be for an hour but hamdulillah May Allah bless and accept could be for two hours May Allah accept and you know give you more energy to do even more. Whatever Allah enables you when your Eman is strong and you feeling motivated, do the best that you can. And when you're a man is not helping you at that moment. So Pamela, as we said, Go make yourself some coffee, some tea, eat some food to give you some energy. pray to Allah azza wa jal do a little bit of exercise, walk outside. Just bring you know more energy into your life and maybe then you'll feel better and maybe

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you can do more.

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You cannot do it at the beginning of the night. You just don't feel like it, sleep, sleep. And then maybe the end of the night, two hours before you know for God you can wake up and you can do something. See what Allah will guide you. Right? And this is the fifth, by the way, the fifth of understanding yourself. There's a fifth of understanding religion right? But there's also needed as well fear of understanding who you are

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And how much energy you have and how much you can do. And then putting these things together so that you don't put on yourself more than you can do but also you don't sell yourself short you can do a lot but you say I'm not I'll do it later and you think that you cannot. So there's a fear of understanding yourself May Allah hazard and give us the fear of Islam the tip of or on the cough sooner of knowing Allah zodac on also May Allah give us the full of understanding ourselves and our nature and our potential what is it that we can do? And what is it that we cannot and how is it that we can do what we can do in ways that are pleasing to Allah azzawajal to ask him somehow know what

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the hell out banana mean or hammer Rimini Allah enable us to do and to worship you in this night to do it. Please what is pleasing to your hammer? I mean, help us with the renew our email and help our commitment to you your hammer Rahimi, help us with reading the Quran, guide us to the best of the added benefits as in this life in the next guidance to the best of thick and except from us yahama Rahimi, we ask you all but allow me to give us alfia safety healing physically and spiritually in our bodies and in our hearts era. But I mean as your banana mean, you protect us from physical illness and we ask you to protect us from physical illness. We ask you out but I need to protect us

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from spiritual illness protect us from the diseases of the heart and the disease of diseases of the body. We're asking me to give us forgiveness from all sin and repentance from all sin, to elevate us in this dunya and in the field to make us of the people of Jenna the people on welfare those the people of the Quran, the people of the sooner do not make us of the people of shirk ordinary far and beyond deviation. We ask your Bellamy to make us of those who are guided and who guide others to what pleases you do not make use of those who are misguided or misguided others reminders. Here are better Allah means who do not forget bring us closest to us we do not stray away except our drag and

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make us are those who rely upon you and do not rely on themselves or do not rely on other people they are hammer I mean that a lot of people realize it and plus you realize that except from also we'll see you in sha Allah at the same time tomorrow subhanak a lot of men will be handed a shoe and that you know in that and stuff you will go out to eat 800 in the army and I mean salamati Kumara to LA he all I can do