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Islamic Manners – Episode 01
Channel: Ali Albarghouthi
Series: Ali Albarghouthi - Islamic Manners
File Size: 38.61MB
Episode Transcript ©
Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate and at times crude. We are considering building a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system. No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.
We will pick up exactly where we've left off beating the law. inshallah.
Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah Savio Salaam in Al hamdu lillahi wa Modernista, you know who want to start futile when I met him in Sri Ravi and fusina was cftr Melina Mija Hello philomel the La La, la de la, la, la la la la sharika wash, Mohammed Abu Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sahbihi wa sallam. So today inshallah we begin with a new book and it's a small book, but written by a very late I mean, very late mid like recently deceased scholar, an alum he's a from the automa of Syria Rahmatullah Himalaya
and this is very small book, Islamic manners. But it is important because it does actually add to the first stage that we've studied, which is, Islamic man is related to seeking knowledge. And this is a more general approach to Islamic manners, that is easy to understand and hopefully inshallah, easy to apply. Right? So he says here in it in the introduction, and he says, this is a kind of a booklet or reseller to Latif, submit to Him in edible Islam from Islamic manners. And he says, the purpose of it is that a lot of pee a lot of people are unaware of what they're supposed to do on how they're supposed to behave. And this is something that we see. Right? Sometimes even among those of
us who know we miss the opportunity to apply what we know so don't don't apply the manners that we already have learned. And many more In fact, don't know about these manners. So he says I wanted this to be a reminder for all men or women right? And he says I'm not better than them. But this is as a laws that it says with a gift for inadequate often for more money and he says remind because indeed, the believers will benefit with reminders, right? So I'm going to Charla go through it in the English translation, they may mix up the text, the original text and the footnote. So if you don't find exactly as you're following in the English translation, if you think I've skipped over
something, inshallah I did not I will come back and it's in the footnote and I'll address it inshallah, right? Because I'm following the Arabic version, but hopefully everything that I will say you will find it in your English translation inshallah. So, he says in the beginning, he says, about Adam, and I'll explain in sha Allah, more in more detail what it is he says that Islam has a lot of manners, character that builds up the Muslim character, and that it infiltrates or covers every aspect of life covers every aspect of life. He says here in the footnote, he says, even in the simplest of matters, Islam has guidance. So he says, even how you enter the washroom, how you
relieve yourself and how you cleanse yourself afterwards. There's Islamic guidance about it. And he says that some of the non believers when they approach the Mongol fallacy, or the Allah one with a Sahabi and he said that indeed your profit law dilemma can now be Yocum. kulesza He says, Your prophet had taught you everything even how to enter and exit the washroom meaning you know what, to how to do your business inside and how to cleanse and purify yourself from that he says even that he taught you. So he says, a gel is indeed the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had forbidden us that we should face the Hibler Be bold in our heart whether we are urinate urinating or defecating.
He told us not to face the Qibla the direction of the Qibla direction of Mecca, our understand glba mean or that we would cleanse our hands ourselves we're using the right hand. We're supposed to use the left. Oh Anniston GLB aka Lehman telethia gr o that we would clean ourselves with less than three stones. So that if one a person is using a stone, or in this day and age you using paper towels, the least amount that would cleanse you and purify you is three. If you're using water, that's even better. But if you're not using water, or in this case, their case they're using stones in our case we're using paper towels, not less than three wipes. Okay? That is the thing that is
supposed to cleanser you can do more but not less than that. So it says yes, the Prophet sallallahu wasallam taught us all this
What does that tell you is that if the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and of course, this is all inspiration from Allah azza wa jal, if he had taught about these small things, okay, then the more major and profound things are also included in Islam. Right? If this small things have not been neglected, then the bigger things are not neglected as well. So Islam is guidance, Islam, the Muslim character is comprehensive, isn't it? Even in those small, seemingly insignificant matters? Now somebody may say You mean, okay, that is way over way too overwhelming. Okay? Is our lives supposed to be dominated by in every small detail? I have to learn everything, do this and don't do that that
was just too overwhelming, right? And it's, you know, I can't have my life be controlled by so many precepts and laws and regulations. We say not all these laws are obligations. And they add up in Islam, whether you know, is some of it as how you enter the bathroom, or what you would do there when you enter when you exit, when you go to sleep, how to sleep, not all these manners are obligations, some of them are obligations, and some of them are what?
recommended, right? So if you are feeling way too overwhelmed, you don't have to do the recommended part. But you have to do what are the obligations. So we say if seems too overwhelming, they say don't be overwhelmed. The obligations are only thing that you need to worry about everything else, leave it until you have the power until you have the time until you have the amount to do it. But at least as a minimum, you follow the obligations? That's the first thing. The second thing is we say that why is there an Islamic guidance about all of these things? Right?
We say because when are you going to do any of these things? You have to make a choice? How are you going to enter the bathroom and leave it? How are you going to sleep? You either gonna do it according to your own will, whatever way I deem to be appropriate and nice and beneficial. Or you're going to follow somebody else. Right? There are no more two options. I mean, there's no one, you don't have a third option. Either you do it, you're based on your own choices, are you going to copy somebody else? But your own choices are not always the wisest and the most beneficial. And if you just gonna listen to somebody else, they may be able to guide you or not.
So what is the best way to do?
How would you what is the best way to live? Whenever there is an Islamic guidance, that is Allah azza wa jal telling you through His Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam The best thing to do this thing, the best way to do it is this way. The best way to sleep is this way, the best way for instance, for you to get married is this way, the best for you, for instance, to have children is this way, so that you will seek the best and protect yourself from harm. If you are left to your own choice, you are likely to make the wrong one. Okay? If you're left to your own experience or somebody else's experience, you're likely to make the wrong ones. But if you follow guidance from
Allah zildjian, who is the creator, Allah will save you a lot of pain and heartache. Right? So why is there guidance? It's not a guidance to restrict you it's a guidance to do what to protect you and guidance to benefit you. So that's why there is manners in Islam you will meet
and you can ask inshallah, questions about this, if you wish, while when there is a time for question and answers. He says this includes those, though those who are old and those who are young men and women alike, for indeed, as the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, In An Nisa Shaka a4 region, indeed, woman, you can translate this as women are the Sisters of men, or you can say men are the brothers of woman, meaning that they are alike in these rulings, there will be differences. But there are like in these rulings, and that's important. If we are talking about manners here, it doesn't mean that oh, this is only for men and the woman or are excluded or vice versa. This is only
for women and the men are excluded. When we're talking about halal and haram. It's for everyone. We're talking about manners. It's all for everyone. Right? So everyone should take it as this is Allah as gentle talking to me, this is the prophets a lot. He was talking to me both equally because what happens sometimes is it seems as if this is only for the brothers and the sisters are exempted from that. No, it's not the case right. So whatever we are saying or stressing of manners, this is for the young and the old.
Women and men.
Then he says, you know, this is these manners, you know, Islam had promoted them and emphasize them to have a balanced Islamic personality and there's harmony between people. And this adds to the beauty of a Muslim whenever you have good Islamic manners and character, this is adds to the beauty that you have and make people love you, etc, etc. He says here is something that is important. He says, These manners are part of the essence of the Sharia. And it's in its intended objectives. And it's not a luxury or an addition, that can be neglected, that it's an important part of the Sharia, for us to understand, and practice these manners. Because when you hear sometimes the word manners,
you think about it as something good to have, it enhances my personality, but it's not essential. He's He's saying no manners are essential to Islam itself. And I'm going to add to this and say that you can look at manners in two ways. You can say adapt or adapt in a more general way. And in a very specific or more limited way, in the very general way. You say Edit, is really all of Islam.
Because they classify edit as there is edible with Allah as origin, added with his prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and Adam with creation.
So adaboost Allah azzawajal means what means respecting Allah subhanho wa Taala by listening to him, respecting his words by following them, by interpreting them right by the mind making them the supreme guidance in life. Many different ways, right? We can keep going on and on about how we respect a lot or have adapt with Allah azza wa jal, but there's that important section of adapt with Allah. When there is adapt with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam similarly, right, that you listen to his words that you follow him that you respect him that you say, salatu salam upon him whenever his name is mentioned. So there's a huge section of edit with Mohammed Sall, Allahu Allah
who was in. And then the last one, which actually is based on and derived from the first two is at a booth creation, at a booth, Hulk, with Muslims and with non Muslims, even with animals and with plants added with how you deal with everything around you, that is also added. So there are three branches with Allah with this prophet and Adam with creation added in a limited sense when we talked about it, which is the more common use of edit is edit with creation. So the thing that we'll be talking about in this book and in many cases when you read chapters, in books of Hadith, written on edit or collected and compiled under the heading of edit it's about manners with creation character
with creation, but it is based on manners with a lot as origin and managers with his prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam now a question I'm gonna ask you can a person have Adam with creation without Adam with Allah as the origin and with this prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam mean Can he can a person have good character? Okay okay with creation but not with a lot not with his profits a lot he was alone
and well, I'm just making a general right just a person right? So I'm just asking is it possible for a person to have edit with creation but not edit with Alan with his prophet sallallahu wasallam and also vice versa right can a person have can have edited with Alan His Prophet but not edited with his creation
so if we're talking about full adder with Alan his profits a lot he was and then that it is necessarily follows that he will have added with creation right necessarily should full adder with a line his profit means that he lives add up with his creation meaning if a person is steams and respects Allah as though Jenin His prophets a lot, he was setting them properly, then it should translate into respecting okay and steaming and have good character when it comes to Allah's creation. Right? But a person could could be good islamically meaning with a lion, his prophets a lot he was sending them not to the highest levels, meaning you look at their Salah, and so their
Salah is good, their fasting is good, but their character is bad as possible, because we see this right? Don't we see that? We see this. The person has the first and praise the person does this and that sadaqa but he's bad with his wife, bad with his kids bad with his neighbor. So they are here. Here is a gulf. There is a really a gap between their understanding and practice of Islam. That is a badder individual. A better
And then when they exit from the masjid or leave their home, and how they deal with other people. So there is a break and a gulf. And that comes from ignorance about Allah and His prophets of Allah, Allah sent them on what they want from him. Because what they want from him is not simply to pray and abuse the people when he leaves his sada. So he doesn't know. Or he knows and ignores and does not apply. So it's possible, but that person would not be a person have a strong email
or strong knowledge, he knows but does not follow. Right. Now, is it possible for a person to have good character among people, but not have it with Alon with this prophet? sallallahu alayhi wasallam we say to a degree, Yes, they can. To a degree, yes. But he will not be of a person who is of the best character among people, but he can have good qualities among people, and for that they could like him. But when it comes to Allah and His Prophet sallallahu wasallam. No, that's possible. So we could see that with non Muslims, right? We can see that with some Muslims as well. And so someone came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and he asked so and so in the time of jelenia, he
used to feed the poor, and he used to be a good person, meaning that he used to help people. Would that benefits him with Allah xojo? So what did he say? He says, No, because he never said even once he Allah forgive me my sin, on the day of judgment, meaning that he wasn't what?
A believer. So if a person is good in this world, meaning he's good with other people, but not with a lot, what not with his prophet sallallahu wasallam that thing does not help him were in the hereafter. Because he didn't do it for Allah does not did not do it for Allah. But he did it for worldly reasons. Does it help him here?
Does it benefits him here? If he's a good person here? does it benefit him? How does it benefit him? You said yes, I agree with you, how does it benefit him?
People will like him, okay, how else could it benefit him?
People will do business with a meaning people end he'll receive benefits from people, right? That is a lot could reward him for not could Allah were reward him for the good that he has done in this dunya. So if he's doing good in this world, not for the sake of Allah, but just for being good in this world, a lot rewards him for it, by giving him for instance, wealth, or a long life or health, making, giving him something worldly, in compensation for the good things that he is doing. A good reputation will give him but he doesn't receive anything in the hereafter because he did not want anything from Allah in the hereafter. So our approach should be adequate comprehensively, not only
with a less creation, and forgetting about Alan his profit, and not only with Alan his profit and forgetting about creation, but with everyone. So with Allah, with his profits a lot he was alone, and with creation as well. And that is the proper balance. That is the proper edit. So when we're talking about all this edit, we recognize that it is coming to us from Allah azza wa jal, and from his prophet sallallahu wasallam. And that's why it is valuable, and that when you are applying it, you're applying, applying something that Allah loves, and not just only doing this, so that people will like me are not only doing this so that I will look civilized or no, I'm doing this because
Allah loves it. And because I will earn good deeds whenever I'm doing it with a proper intention.
So he says here he moves on him. He says that an Imam will qaddafi he says just to compare the two actions, and he added, let's say add up to worship, and up to worship. He says, we had had this one located at Albion and put them on a route with God. He says,
know that a little bit of character is better than a lot of worship.
That's why he says an item was solid. He said that pious person said to his son, yeah, boo nay Oh says Oh, son, AJ, I'm Ella, Camille, ha. Rebecca de Tikka. He says, make your actions meaning here your worship, like salt, but your character or your manners, like flour, meaning that if you're going to make dough and make a bread, you need more flour or more salt, flour, and just a little bit of salt. So that if he says if it is a choice between the two, I'm going to worship Allah as origin. And I'm going to have a job he says, gain a lot of add up even if your worship is literal. Meaning that the obligations he's talking about that, but don't stress worship, but not add up. You need
more of the adverb
Have good character and manners, then you need more worship. So that's he says the percentage of both. Meaning that you need to stress your character develop your character. And in fact, Your Worship should have a direct reflection on your character. Your fasting should have a direct reflection on your character, isn't it? So when we're fasting, we are told that we're supposed to control what our tongue
that is essential, essential in disciplining yourself and improving your character. When you're fasting, you're supposed to control your eyes is supposed to control your ears, that is essential in controlling your character. The same thing for Salah.
The same thing for Zika. So all that data is really there, of course, to connect you with Allah azza wa jal, but in connecting you to Allah, it improves your character and grants you, Adam. So the reason why we don't grab received either from it is that we're not aware of that dimension of our data that is supposed to help us. So that's why he says that, it's important to gain a lot more character and good character, even if your actions are not as plentiful, at least, you are a good person in the sight of Allah as a surgeon, because of your end up.
He says, and he says, if you see that some of these things that we're going to be talking about that seem to be too simplistic
to common, it says, you know, that's, that's okay. Because it says a lot of us make mistakes when it comes to these very simple things. And that takes away from your Islamic personality if you're Muslim, a character from the beauty that you're supposed to have.
And he quotes here, a hadith. And this hadith is some of the scholars have said that it is weak, some of those scholars said that it is Hassan lalbagh. And he said that it is weak, I'll quote it anyway.
He says that it is reported, so it could be weak. He says it's reported that the Prophet sallallahu wasallam is saying to some of his companions, you're going to come and meet some of your brothers. So fix your clothes, and fix your saddles. So that you will be as if you are a beauty mark among people. Right? Meaning that before you come and see somebody fix yourself up, right? look nice. You only and who you have in your hand who and what is sufficiently can replace this is the same with a prophet sallallahu wasallam in the authentic hadith in the lodge me you know, you have boojum Allah is beautiful, and he loves beauty. So Allah azza wa jal does not love ugliness, does not promote it
does not ask you for it.
Of course, we don't mean that if Allah as though God loves beauty, it doesn't mean that Allah zildjian wants you to waste your money.
Because I'm not we don't want to go to an extreme. It isn't once you have to chase after brands and fashions, and waste your time and money on them. That's not what allows them to the same. But what does it mean that he loves beauty? Allah is beautiful, and he loves beauty. First of all, you take care of the cleanliness of your clothes, the cleanliness of your body, your own hygiene. And of course, on top of that, if you want to have nice clothes, that are not wasteful, you're not doing this so that you would stand out and feel better and better than other people. If this is why you want to buy something new buy it if you That's why you want to wear it, wear it. There's nothing
wrong with that, actually, with a proper intention. A lot could reward you for it right, but not to go to an extreme, because people today swing towards the other extreme. But we say that it's not wrong to have good things if you want to have good things as long as we are not wasting our money. And I say not chasing after the frivolous.
So he says, let's say let's let's begin with the point number one. He says when you want to enter your home, or anybody's home and you're knocking on someone, he says don't knock so severely, not too strong. And not open the door when you want to open the door and close it don't slam the door. Right? But do it gently. And he says Why is that? He says because we have this general guidance from the Prophet sallallahu wasallam in a riff called a akuna fishy in Isla Zanna Williams amici in English and gentleness wherever you put it in something it beautifies it and whenever you take it away from something, it makes it ugly.
So you want to be overall gentle and whatever you do. So even here including what how you open a door and how you close it. Whether It's Your apartments door, or one of your rooms inside, it's you're going and visiting someone or your own house or when you're coming to the masjid. So you want to open something and close it Be gentle. Right? So why risk This is gentleness is a general Islamic principle that you want to apply
He says point number two. He says either the halter baytech Alhaji maneuvers lm lm and feed him in early. He says what are you going to leave your house or when you want to enter your house say Salaam upon your family whether you are male or female, right, we're talking about your family. And this is saying as salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato or at least saying Assalamualaikum and don't say any other greeting before that show your main greeting if you are Muslim meaning another Muslim is a Salaam Alaikum and the replies while ecommerce Salaam not Hi Hello, good morning, goodbye. Not that but you teach yourself and you teach your kids to adhere to this Islamic greeting.
And he says there are so the lice aloha do Salaam says you have one iya either the halter either Anika he says
sailing to us he says Oh son if you come to upon your family enter the house and your family is inside for Salim say Salaam jaquan Baraka and alayka where Alec is who will be Baraka a blessing for you and your family. To hear them in en de la he mubaraka Dante Eva what distinguishes this greeting is that it is to hear a greeting from home I mean, Angela, no human being made it
no human being can be made it up. This is from Allah azzawajal telling you what to say, mean en de la himo Baraka, Dante, Eva, that there are blessings in it. So when you say it, when you enter the home, you say it when you enter the masjid, in addition to the reward that you're going to get from Allah azza wa jal for saying it and the one who has the first first says it has the reward for saying it. In addition to what you're spreading Baraka from Allah as origin, in your household, for yourself, and for your children, and your family, so don't miss out on it. Some of us just come in, just open the door and just enter and start talking, leave and not say sit down when we leave. He
says no, you're missing out on all the Baraka that is included in this greeting. So say a salaam aleikum when you enter assalamu Aleikum when you leave, especially also coming on upon your family because those are the people that you meet most often. And he said also sallallahu alayhi wa sallam even hydrocodone mejlis. If you sell them if you come upon a gathering,
and you want to sit down see Santa csll for an hour the idea of homophone you sell them when you want to stand up and leave also see sit down, Felisa Tallulah. We are have come in an era. The first one is not more worthy than the last one. So, if you're coming, you say Salah, and if you're leaving, you see Scylla you're entering the house and you're meeting your family you say Salaam you're leaving and saying goodbye to them because you're going to work you say setup. So your Salaam is always that first thing that you say when you meet them. And the last thing that you say when you leave?
So he says also, this is the third point he says either the Hunter darrick Dara carefresh admin fee happy the holy cow Pablo suli. It says when you want to enter your home, make sure that you let the people inside know that you've arrived so that you don't scare them.
So either by ringing the bell either by knocking on the door or you enter some people, you know, just make noise. You're the shout out assalamu Aleikum I'm here so that they don't hear you know, Subhanallah some noise and they're not sure who's there and who come in and is it an intruder or whatever, so you don't scare them. So announce your presence. I'm here so now Polycom so on. So I'm coming back. And also so that it doesn't sound that you want to catch them in the act catch them doing something wrong, you're sneaking in to see what they're doing. No, you come in and you say Salaam Alaikum I am back. As you know as well as the habit of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam he
will see here is that when the prophet SAW to send them what would come out would come back he would come back to his family from travel in the morning. Okay in a time when people know that he's going to be coming back and entering his home he said so a lot of you are Salaam NYCHA and yet to refer Raja Hola, Hola. Hola. Get hemangioma we'll say Mr. arthrotomy said the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had forbidden that a person would come back to his family at night. You have to have one or meaning that he thinks
that they're doing something wrong and he wants to expose them. He wants to catch them in the app. It's a one Oh, he helped me so I thought about him. He wants to find the mistake that they're doing. He said the Prophet sallallahu Sallam forbidden that especially that is if a person is coming from travel, and he comes unannounced at night. It scares people. Today you have your phone, and people know exactly when you're coming back. So you come back you can come back at night, because people know in advance when you're going to be there. So you can call them and say or text them and say
Be home in half an hour, I'll be home in an hour. So that will give people in the home a chance. That is if they need to fix them something, they fix it. If they need to clean the home, they clean it, but at least they'll be prepared for your arrival. Right?
And he said, you know, fake scoring. Rahim Allah He says either the Hello Rod rubedo is to hit Bella and Ethan and how you hurricane Allah, He says when a person enters his home, it is recommended that a person makes some kind of noise to announce his presence. As I said, for the reasons that I mentioned, he says and he says can be he says that he's talking about a man, when he used to enter his house. From the Mr. To the house, he had originally bridged the hill or habla Anita Hill, and now he's get hola de he says, Well, he would strike the floor with his foot so that people have the home would know that he has come back. So this is all of good manners, right? Again, for the reasons
that we have mentioned.
So he says in point number four, he says if some of your family members are inside the house, and you want to enter, seek their permission, seek their permission, so that you don't see them in a state that they would hate for you to see them. So you're going out, you know, somebody is inside the room, somebody is inside their house, you're not just open the door and going, right, even if it's your own home, and there are other family members inside and you want to enter and you know that they might be uncomfortable that so you're not and you ask for permission. And when they give you that permission, then you go ahead and enter. Okay, so that's also from another is there is this
a death reported it is more subtle, so it's a category of the week, but it is more salsa here, they call it and ignore the bar says that there is a jump upon the meaning.
Anyway, he says A man came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, he says, should I seek permission before I go and see my mother mean she's inside the home? Should I seek permission before I enter? Or should I just enter directly? It says no, you have to seek permission. He says, but I live in the same home as she does, is it the province assumes no he says seek permission before you enter is is but I'm helping her um, you know, serving her taking care of her. He said a lot. He was telling him what he says no, you still need to seek permission, would you like to see her naked like this, sometimes people are in a state that would they would not be you know, you'll not be welcome
to see them in that state. So before you enter, you have to give that person the time to what fix themselves up before you enter. So he says if you're especially even if you're living in the same household, even if you're taking care of someone, your your son or your daughter have their own room before you enter and the door is closed, and you allow them to close the door. And the door is closed before you enter is supposed to do seek permission. That's what it is. Because this is what you want to teach them. Anyone who's in the same way, if you are in your own room, and you have children, and they have reached an age of seven, eight, and they can understand that they need to
seek permission. before they enter. They need to do what knock on the door and explicitly seek permission and receive permission and only before that they could enter when they reach puberty they have to do that. When they reach puberty, they have to do it before that it's recommended. And it's part of add up so that it becomes part of their practice to seek permission. Right.
So this is if you're living in the same household or if you're going and visiting someone, someone is your neighbor. I say we're we're very close. No matter how close you are you just open the door and go in. Right. You always you need to knock on the door and get their permission and only then you would be able to enter
he says here are some from the some reports from the Tabby.
She says Kenneth W. Mousavi Mousavi. Highs is one of the tabs in he says, I came with my father. And he was going inside the hole to see my mother, right? For the Hello at the back door. He says he came inside and I just followed him and he must have been you know, an adult. So he says he looked back and he pushed me back. He looked at me and he pushed me back until I fell to the ground. And he said do you enter without permission? And this is held from him Rahim Allah to teach him to teach him that when you want to enter, always remember that you need to ask for permission because you don't know if your mother would like you to enter and see her in a particular state or not seek
permission so that you will know that she's ready and then you will be able to enter and if no more is said about ignored that when some of one of his children or some of his children will reach the age of puberty men, baby
Men, he says that he will have their own room or their own quarters for them. And they cannot come upon ignoring his own private quarters until they seek permission from him out of the lower No, no.
So the rest of the traditions are all repeating exactly
the same thing.
Point number five. Point number five. He says, when you're knocking on the door, again, use that general rule of gentleness. How do you knock on the door, be very gentle when you're knocking upon the door, and don't don't dock on it as if you're going to arrest somebody, right? So this is what he says, you know, which is sort of funny, a woman came to know him well, out of the yellow, I know, she wanted to ask him about something, she knocked on the door. And he came out and he says you should knock on the door. And it was harsh. She came out from the house. And he says this is how a policeman knocks. Right. So you're not supposed to knock like this, because you scare the people who
are inside. So you know that you sometimes you want to, you know, get people's attention. But especially today, there are more than one ways to get a person's attention, ring a bell, call them text them, so that you would know but don't stand outside knocking and knocking knock in the door, you want to you know, bring it down so that they would allow you in, not gently and it is said here, that the Sahaba the Prophet sallallahu wasallam would knock on his door with their fingernails, that this is how gentle it is right? fingernails right? Meaning if this is enough for the person in sight to hear, then this is enough. You don't do more than that. If he needs more for that person, if the
person you're just to hear and know your presence, and you need to do a little bit more, do a little bit more, but not so much that you're going to scare the people inside and wonder who is outside and what are they going to what are you going to do and
what's waiting for us behind that door? So again, what if gentleness and everything that you do? And he's saying here, you know, to him a lot, he's saying that between the two knocks, right between the two knocks, a lot of the people a chance to come and open the door for you. And he's saying here, right? There's some of the ultimate estimated that between two knocks or two attempts, there should be forecasts that this is the
period of forecasts, because then if a person had started their solar when you knock Okay the first time and the person has started their solar and the longest one is for rock as you'll give him enough time to finish his salah and then come and open the door when the next knock is going to come. Why is he saying this because you are limited to three knocks, or three attempts you knock the first time and you wait. Okay, that's the okay in second time you not and you wait, you only have one more time. You're not gonna third time and you wait, nobody opens you have to what head back can keep knocking and knocking and knocking on the door, you gotta head back. That means that either
nobody's there or people are inside but they're not ready to receive you. That's not a good time for them to see you. So you head back with a good heart meaning this is this is not an appropriate time. So I'm going to head back exactly like if somebody comes to your home unannounced knocks on your door and you say I'm not ready to receive anybody you just ignored the knocks and the person is supposed to head back. Right? So you knock on the door and you wait a little bit again right you can avoid all of that by what texting the person today or calling them and say I'm coming in in half an hour. I'm coming in an hour is this appropriate? Can I come then they're expecting you. But at that
time that thing was not available there's no announcement okay other than coming to a person's door and knocking on the on it. So call somebody texts them so that they will be ready to receive you but if you're not going to do this, you go and not and wait a little bit right. And then if they don't respond knock again wait knock third time and wait not then you head back over to consolata for the mute then the who Phelim for the unsavoury so this is what the prophets olufsen says if you seek permission three times, and you're not granted permission, head back. Leave that person and head back.
And he says here I will have to of interesting danika number 14 Bob he says when you are seeking permission, do not face the door don't face the door. Right But either go left or right. He says no sort of describing the profits a lot he was telling me he says when he comes to a people's door, he would not face it directly well I can rockne Amen, I will say sir but he goes to the right or to the left of the door. And why is that?
Because of they open the door. They'll be able to see everything right. If they open the door you'll be able to see everything and they may not actually be have been ready to you know protect what they need to protect inside a woman to put her hijab on to fix whatever they need to fix and your eyes.
If you don't protect them, they'll see some things sometimes that you don't want to see. So stand to the side. This way that person will be comfortable. And also you'll be comfortable, right? So it's not an intrusive presence. It's not an intrusive, but a decent, very decent presence. So either stand to the right, and stay or stand to the left. And he said that the continuation of that had Hadeeth that doors at those times did not have curtains. Right. So sometimes they'll have a door, but behind the door will be a curtain. So doors at that time did not have a curtain behind them to protect the privacy of the family.
He says in the point number six here, he says if you knock on someone's door, and someone asks you, who is this, don't say it's me, simply. So part of edip also has to do what? Identify yourself as me Who am I? And there's a hadith from the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that somebody came and he said it to Namibia for the hostile verb. I came to the Prophet I knocked on the door. Then he says, Who is this? vocal to Allah? I said, It's me. So the Prophet sallallahu sallam, he said, It's me, it's me. Something like that. And he says he hated that.
Because it doesn't really identify you. Who are you? Exactly. And that person could miss identify, you could think you or somebody else. So it's me doesn't say anything. So part of me also to clearly identify who you are, and so that they can see if they want to let you in or not.
And he brings here evidence that the profits a lot he was selling them once was walking alone at night, with our followed him, the prophet said, Who is this and that with our set of Buddha. Okay, so with that said, and then another incident here, he said, that the profits obvious and also somebody also identified himself to the profits a lot he was,
he says, he didn't point number seven.
He says, If you visit somebody without an appointment, or there was an appointment, but then he declined, and he couldn't accommodate you, he says, he knows he knows his situation best. And meaning that maybe he has an excuse. So you have to forgive him, and know that he may have a reason for him not be able to receive you. So he says, some of the Italian he says, Well, that's not a fitting either that'd be a common or do can baby and he says if somebody returned you and cannot push you back or say for instance, I cannot receive you at this time. He says they have needs and they have excuses, what you know who they know, their excuses, and you should think the best of
them. Right? Because something may have come up. So don't feel
insulted. If somebody told you though I cannot receive you at this moment. Or somebody said no, I we had an appointment, but somebody something came up, and I cannot receive you now. So don't be insulted when that happens, because people's circumstances change. And if they have an excuse, not all the time, it won't be possible all the time to tell you what that excuses, right? Sound possible. So don't ask and say well, what's your excuse? why sometimes it's not possible sometimes is just too private. So just accept the fact that they can't receive you at that moment and move on. He says that EMA medic said Lisa coluna. See, you have to do and yet the kingdom of God. It says not
all people are able to mention their excuses to you. Right? Yeah. And it is mentioned above Malik Rahim Allah Hello lm that for some time, he did not attend Juma prayer, though he was an Imam. But for some time, he did not attend Juma prayer. And they asked him why are you doing this? He says lahmacun lunacy Estonia ticket number three, he says not everybody will be able to share his excuse with you, meaning I have an excuse. Right? He says I'm having an excuse. I cannot share it with you. Right? So that's more so if you're visiting somebody, or you have an appointment with someone who says I'm sorry, I need to cancel. And you say, Oh, he must not like me. He's not my friend. He's
this and that. No, he might have actually a good reason not to do this, or a good reason to cancel the invitation. Why are you canceling the invitation says, Don't ask that question because not everybody will be able to share with you exactly why they're doing what they are doing. So just accept people's excuses, as it's the case that sometimes you'll have something that you can share with people.
And this is why Allah as the Julie's the author says were either either lack of energy or third you will ask Allah come if you are at all, go back, go back. It is best for you to do this. So even the Quran, Allah is saying that if you're told to go back to go back, that would be best for you.
He says, also, this is point number eight. He says when you're asking for permission to enter a house, make sure that you guard your eyes. So that
You don't see something inside the home. That is that will displease the people inside, meaning that you're standing outside. You're asking permission to enter. Make sure that yes of course, they'll have to protect the house you know from you know, wandering eyes, but you do the same. Okay? You do the same so that you don't see something that the household does not want you to see. So a man came to the prophet or came to the prophet SAW Allah Selim stood up facing the door. So the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, hacker unka, meaning that move to the side, here or there. And he says, for intermediate state, gentlemen, actually another he says asking for permission was made because of
your eyesight because of your eyes. Why do you ask for permission before you enter, so that you don't see things that other people don't want you to see. So the same thing when we say you don't want to ask for permission, don't stand right in front of the door, but to the side. And also, in addition to it, lower your eyes, lower your eyes so that as soon as they open the door, you don't immediately see something that you don't want to see. And also, they don't want you to see.
And he says it's reported here from Omar Ali. Hello, I know. He says Mandela Mandela I know whom in karate baiting is a hottie. He was actually he published a new facade, he says the one who fills his eyes with the sights of a house and what's in it cites inside the house and what's in it before he is granted permission to do this. Indeed, yes.
Indeed, he has committed
he has committed a sin. Right? If he does this, why because we said that this is for asking permission is because of the eyes.
So if Allah zildjian made, asking permission for the eyes, you're supposed to restrict what you see in any house until they tell you it's okay to come in. So when they tell you it's okay to come in, that means what? Okay, it's all clear and we go can garden What can you can get inside or you can see inside.
And here there is something just to tell you about the, the deserved punishment, right? of someone who
looks into a house without permission, right? The spies into somebody's house without permission. Is it the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
was sitting in his home and he had the middle you hope will be here? Right? As a long sharp object, right? And he used to, you know, fix his hair with it. It's like a comb, but it's just one single, long object. So somebody was you know, looking from outside inside of what the prophet sallallahu wasallam was doing like peeping into the house of the prophets of the Lord who said he said the Prophet told them no Alamo and nikka Tom guru Lata and to be if you're in a business if I knew that you were looking I would poke your eyes with this that is with this long stick I would poke your eyes with it. Why in the majority done I mean Agilent Vasa insists indeed permission was being is
mandated mandated because of the site that is this would be the deserved punishment for someone who was peeping and looking into a house without permission for his for his eyes to do what to be taken out. Right. That's his deserved punishment. So why because there is no sanctity anymore for the people of the house if they do this. Okay, so spying on people and how that is haram. Okay, now with the Prophet did not punish him. Right, the property did not punish him, but he told him about that this would be your deserved punishment for doing something and violating the sanctity of the woman and children who are inside the home.
In shall only be a couple of two points and they'll stop inshallah, he says, When you visit your house of your brother or you enter his house, it says Be gentle when you enter and be gentle when you leave. guard your eyes when you're inside, take your shoes off, put them in their proper place.
Do not forget about the manners of taking off your shoes. You put your shoes on with the right and then the left you take him off what left and then right.
These are the manners. It says before you enter that house. Look at your look at your feet by look at your shoes. There is any dirt in them even in your house, by the way, right? Not just when he's visiting somebody when you go to enter your own house, so that you don't don't trouble your wife. You don't travel anyone who's cleaning or Don't trouble yourself or your dirty your house. Look, look under and see if there's any dirt there. Make sure that you clean it outside before you enter. That's also part of that at the end. Don't drag mud, don't drag snow. Don't drag salt inside. If you're able to keep all of that outside because this is what people
Loneliness is, and this is being what courteous with the person who has invited you into their home or with your family as well. Right?
Is, is when you enter
as a guest into someone's home, he says, Don't sit where you want to sit, sit where they place you, okay? In part of AdMob Okay, as sometimes for instance, you just go in and you sit, right. But what is better than that, okay. And more sensitive than that is to ask, what should I said? What do you propose that I sit? And why is that?
permission, right? Why is the permission eyes, right? Right? Because you know, you know, so and so may be coming in and out, or the room is facing this way, right? And you sit in front of you exactly facing the room, or they need to do something in the kitchen or or or so he knows the proper place where you could sit, where his became going to be comfortable. And the rest of the family is going to be comfortable. So don't place yourself somewhere if you don't know them, right. Don't Place yourself somewhere where they're going to be uncomfortable. And then it's hard for them to say can you stand up and sit here? Maybe it will be embarrassed. So rather when you go and you say Where
should I sit? And also you know it says in a hadith here that is going to come.
He says la Yeoman or Raja Raja Soltani he
Elahi his name What a opodo PBT Aleta crema de la Vina, he says when you enter a person's home, you don't become an Imam, in that home, unless he gives you permission. And you do not sit in his favorite place except with His permission, meaning that he has an authority in that home. Right? So you cannot be the Imam and if the time of the Salah even if you know more of a Koran. Okay, you don't assume that I'm going to be leading the Salah, it's his place. So unless he gives you permission, he leads the Sunnah. And then take it he meaning this is his private place, this is his favorite place to sit. You cannot go and sit there unless he allows you to sit down. So again, why
do you ask for permission or for guidance? Or where should I sit? First is that you don't sit in his favorite place that he likes to sit there. And the second thing is, you sit in the proper place that's not going to distort or embarrass the people inside the hole.
And he says also waka Bella ukri mocha be idle and he says accept whatever he gives you to honor you with. So he says somebody
came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam to visit the Prophet. And of course they didn't have sofas, you know and chairs and whatever like we have today. So the prophets Allah Salaam had a pillow. So he gave the pillow to that person who was visiting visiting him and the Prophet sallallahu Sallam sat on the floor. Right. So if a person honors you is something when you visit their home, except that honor, right.
The last thing inshallah that I want to mention related to what we were talking about, he says, If you enter somebody's home, or you spend the night there, he or they allow you to spend the night there, don't go scanning the entire home for what they have, and the what they don't have, meaning you go in and you investigate everything, and you poke around, and you open closets, and you open cabinets, and he says that's not allowed, because this is spying on you. If a person is generous enough, generous enough to open their home and allow you in, they've trusted you. And they've they've trusted you, meaning they trust you inside the home. And they trust you when you leave the
home about what you saw inside the home. Right? Otherwise, they would not invite you. So when you enter a person's home, right? Don't start like scanning and looking at all how expensive is this? And is this new or not? And what's under the sofa here and there's a box what's in this box, you ask to go to the washroom you go to the washroom and the open the medicine cabinet and you stop looking at whatever they have in medicine and you're not allowed to do all of that. So there is an element of trust. And the problem just says without that just says we don't spy on each other.
You see a phone and there he left his phone open or a phone open, you take it and you go scroll it and you start seeing who they call and what they talk about the not allowed to do this, right? So you got to respect their privacy as you would want them to expect your privacy. And if they offer you something, you know, they offer you a drink or they offer you food or you sleep in their home, whatever. And you find that some of the things that they have there is some deficiencies and flaws in it. Okay, don't leave the house and share these flaws with outsiders. You know what they gave me or no, you know, you know
sugary drinks and your salad. So this salty thing and this you know, sour thing and they did not honor me when they came and I was hungry and they couldn't sleep well and don't complain about them when you leave, but rather protect their privacy and whatever because again, they offered you what they could write the offer, do what they could and they were generous enough to host you inside their home. Don't betray that trust and God complaining about them outside because this is terrible manners.
So I'm thinking shall Allah stop here and we'll see inshallah.
how it goes. So in short, I hope that we've learned something new today. And again, inshallah, just a reminder that next week, we're off the week after we're off, but then the third week and show a lower back end so that will be December of six inshallah. So did you have any