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Before You Divorce

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Ali Albarghouthi

Channel: Ali Albarghouthi

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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In hamdulillah Hina who want to say you know who and it's still futile one oh the we let him in Sharone and fusina will say to Marina Mia the Hill who Fela molding della Wilma you believe follow her Do

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ye shall do Allah ADA Halal Allahu Allahu la sharika why no Mohammed Abdullah who are pseudo sallallahu alayhi wa early he or Sahaba? He was

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a MOBA in the halal Hadith he Kitab Allah He died. Well, Hey Ron, had you had you Mohammed in Salah Allahu Allah He was in while Sharon Ohmori was to her to her Akula desert in Baku local levy the item Bala Akula Tim Finn now I'm bad. Allah subhana who were to add the Most High, says women at and Holla Holla comin and fusi come as well gently Tuscano ha ha Davina Kuma with data Rama in a fee that he can

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call me at a karoun he said Subhanahu wa Taala that among His Signs that he had created to for you from you, mates,

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that you could find comfort in harmony with

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and he added still between you Muhammad and Rama love and mercy.

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Indeed in that are Signs for those who contemplate and ponder.

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Here Allah azza wa jal is counting that union between male and female as a sign of many of his signs that when you look at it and you ponder it and you examine it, it will increase your Eman. Increase your knowledge that Allah has voted is there because in that Allah brings totally perfect strangers and he unites them with so many attractions there is the physical attraction, but this is how it starts. But there is that emotional attraction there is rational intellectual attraction, and he brings them together. And when they are together, they find first of all that harmony and peace in each other's company. Without that company, there always will be agitated, there always will be in

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search, lacking that peace.

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But when they find that mate, they find that tranquility. And then Allah said that you will also find between them, Muhammad and Rama and who had placed that between them is Allah azza wa jal, Allah had put between them love and mercy. And they become so close until they become the closest human beings even closer that the relationship that they had with their parents before. Allah is saying, this is a great idea. And it's also a great Nirma is that Allah azza wa jal had provided you with that type of companionship that is without you will always remain and T and feeling that void inside until you find that other person

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and if it is an earmark,

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it has to be protected and thanked

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and any nearby that is not protected and is not thanked goes away.

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Any number any blessing any good thing in life that you have? If you don't protect it, what happens to it? You will lose it. And if you don't thank Allah azza wa jal for for it and admit that it is from him. What happens to it, it will also be lost. And if it's an atma that Allah loves,

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then the opposite the shaytaan hates

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and if the shaytaan hates it, he will do his best to try to rake up the couple.

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And in the Hadith the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam tells us exactly that. He said in a bliss a Yoda will show Admah he says a bliss establishes His throne on water

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through Maya Busaba. Then he sends his Shayateen the helpers and those who are under his service, the jinn

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to see who can cause the greatest corruption. Far above the human in the human Zilla at Nahum, la he upon whom fitna, the one who will sit closest to a bliss be honored the most and celebrated the most is the one who will cause the greatest fitna, so I want you to imagine that this something that actually happens, it please sits on his throne and he tells this Shayateen go and spread as much corruption and mayhem as you can, and then come back and report to me. So someone will come and Wilkie say I did this and that and he will say you didn't nothing.

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Until somebody comes in he says metadata to who I did not leave him had the authority to but you know, who obey Him as OJ until I've separated between him and his spouse? And he says Nick Manta says you're the one and he brings him close.

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That is a bliss.

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considers that the greatest fitna that he could cause is this separation and divorce between man and woman, because he understands the magnitude of that Nirma. And that if he takes it away the harm that he could cause the harm that will touch the man, the woman and the children,

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after that mouth down Rama, that peace, that love that mercy that was between those two, it turns into enmity and friction and hatred and gossip and backbiting.

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And then that opens the door for the harangue. Because when you complicate the halal, what happens? When you close that door, what happens? The Haram is wide open. And then add to it the suffering of the children.

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The suffering of the children,

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if it is hard enough,

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in today's world, to his children, with a two parents household, imagine raising these children when you're a single parent.

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What do you have to divide your time between earning a living and taking care of your children? on your own? I'm telling you, it's an uphill battle. And maybe, maybe if you're widowed, and you ask Allah azza wa jal for support, Allah will support you, because of it come from Allah, as the video had no hand in creating this issue. But if you create that issue unjustly without looking at what happens to the children, I'm telling you, it's an uphill battle, and it's a losing battle. You will not be able to take care of those children, even with that other spouse, by your side. It's really difficult on your own, it's almost impossible.

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So the shaytaan is involved, trying to win real relationship and you have to be aware of that, to the extent of what you may not be aware of this hadith Subhan Allah, but he sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in the shaytani I'm gonna do it if you're Russia, how do you combat that? And

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it says the shaytaan will head to your bed after your spouse after your wife had cleaned it and arranged it and made it beautiful. Via ofI he had Euro when ruder O'Shea and my Accra, Hatha Yoga diva. So the shaytaan will place a small rock or a small straw or anything that will upset you to make you upset. So he said, I know you Salatu was Salam for either I was cheat and mean daddy for now. Yeah, Baba Ali. It says if you see something like that, don't be upset with them. Why?

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Because it's the shaytaan replaced it there. So you may not be aware of fact that you may find something at home missing, not in order not in place, the food is not exactly right. And you'd be upset with her. You did this you did not do that. But who is involved trying to set you against each other? It is the shape one.

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So the shaytaan is fighting to ruin this nightmare. You have to fight back to preserve it. And not only do you have to fight against

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the actual shaytaan there among the INS people, those who are act like they are Sheltie

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he sits on Allahu Allah, he was sending them lace, I mean them and hubbub and others, or would you have

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he said, He's not one of us, the one who ruins a woman turns her against her husband. He's not one of us.

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So he said earlier, Salatu was Salam and that hadith, that there are people who will do that beam, that they will come to the woman but and they will come to the man, and they are in a good relationship. They're happy with each other. But they will start saying what to her and to him, what your husband doesn't do this to you or that to you what your wife does not cook that for you and this to you. And they're happy with each other. But this third person comes and the poison that relationship until they separate and that is B

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they turn to now to look at their husband and they said now I can see all of his flaws. Why?

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Because somebody pointed all of that to me. Now I can see that she's not good enough. Why? Because somebody pointed all that to me, and otherwise they are happy. But they do the work of the shape line fade to the moon. I mean, who my man Will Ferrell you're gonna be here in a minute he was OJ when Allah talked about the evil that the shayateen were doing, and those who are learning from them the magic that they were learning from them, that they attributed to Sulaiman only his salon, but he's innocent of that. And he says, what part of that corruption that they do, they learn from them. Why without by which they can separate the husband from his wife.

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So that is a great corruption in the eye of Allah as a region.

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And Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in the above Valhalla in Allahu taala.

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He says that the halal the Allah who dislike

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The most is divorce.

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And of course, it does, and it can treat certain problems divorce can do that. And that's why it's allowed.

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But divorce at the rate that we see right now

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divorce as an easy fix

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the first sign of trouble,

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divorce as a belief that I'm better off alone. And we talked about that there are people who do that to be the ruining of relationships. In fact, a global entire culture is fighting against you today. Because the global entire modern culture says, well it devalues marriage,

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and devalues the work of the husband inside the house and devalues the work of the wife inside the house, the work of the mother is the least in their eyes. And they tell her what are you simply going to be a housewife Are you simply going to take care of your children go and find yourself somewhere else. So societies suffer because of that. And dwindling populations are only the first sign among money signs that this type of ideology and thinking is detrimental to society, when you destroy the family, and I want you to think about it. When you destroy the family, the family is the nucleus of society, the building block of society, the family is what produces the next generation,

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whether they're telling a female a mother, a wife, that your house do work at home, is of no importance, you have to completely disbelief all of this. Because there is nothing

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more important than a woman can do than raising the next generation.

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Anybody can work outside the house. It's not a big deal. Anybody can find a job, anybody can get an education. Look how many people do that. But how do you preserve the next generation? How do you save them from themselves on the shaytaan from waywardness from sin, from addiction, from alcohol from drugs from that company? How do you save them, these early years, when they're still growing and absorbing everything around them? These are the fundamental formative years. And there is nothing more important than you saving the next generation, but they devalue all of that. And they tell the husband, well, it's not your responsibility, go out with your friends, go out and have fun.

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Leave it all to her and they tell her well, it's not your responsibility, go find yourself. And more. More importantly, they create friction between husband and wife.

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Now ask yourself, the relationship between male and female in Islam is based on what conflict

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we're there to complement each other. Isn't this what Allah Allah said in the ayah, that record, we are there to comfort each other, to help each other, not to fight each other. But relationships in western civilization and that civilization that had made that belief now global, so you find it everywhere, is it's based on confrontation.

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Men and women are enemies. And people enter as a couple in a relationship thinking that she is an enemy of mine. And more importantly, she thinking that he's an enemy of mine. And anything that he says it's attributed as he's trying to control me and limit me and do this and do that to me. So already there are some ill feelings.

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So the husband doesn't feel comfortable with the wife and the wife does not feel comfortable with us when both of them are not available for the children. And that is the ruin of that relationship.

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But that's not how we're supposed to be.

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And Rasul Allah is Allah as noted before we go into the Hadith, Allah Xeljanz as well as your opening up in mouth.

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And give give them good company, keep good company of your wives, failing kidneys to Hoonah for us having tecra who shy away a gel Allah ofI young cathedra it says keep good company.

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And if you happen to hate them,

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perhaps you may hate something and Allah puts a lot of good in it.

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Meaning here Allah Azza the saying that he assuming not like everything about your wife.

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That's gonna be true.

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But be patient with them.

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Because perhaps she may hate something yet Allah Azza wouldn't deposit a lot of good in it immediately and eventually, she is still the mother of your children. She could take care of you later. That thing that you hate could be minimized later in your eye and you discover a lot of better things that you did not see. But He said Be patient and don't rush

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and say I don't like her anymore. I want somebody

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else and the same thing goes to the wife. Don't look at him and you say immediately this and that are wrong with him and think he's beyond reform. Be patient, the rush to divorce, don't give up on him as he shouldn't be giving up on you. And maybe this little thing can be fixed.

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And if not, maybe you hate it, but Allah azza wa jal could give you through that person things that will be better, much better than the things that you hate. And in order to maintain that, just as he said, I know you Salatu was Salam nya for como, Mina, a believing man does not hate a believing woman and carry having her follow up all the time in a believing man does not hate to believe in woman. If he hates one thing about her, he's satisfied with something else.

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No one is perfect.

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So maybe you're looking at something and you're magnifying that thing until it becomes everything and Rasul Allah is Allah, Allah, Allah Who Ali Osella. Me, he said, look at the other side as well. Maybe she is so well, Makawa, maybe she's obedient to Allah azza wa jal, maybe there's something good in her, maybe something can be salvaged. And as you would like to treat her, she will treat you.

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But avoid comparisons, especially in an age of social media.

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Avoid comparisons, you could be perfectly satisfied with your wife until you start comparing her to somebody else. Online, or looking around. or Now she's not as beautiful now she is not as this and not as that. And now you dislike her.

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And the same thing with the wife, his finest thought until you start comparing him to somebody else. And that comparison is always what let's say most of the time is false. Because the image that you see, especially through social media is manufacture. And you know that

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you know that the persona that you present on social media, we ourselves, our persona on social media is not related to our own personality.

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They're very different. So when looking at someone through social media and thinking that that's how they are, you're being lied to, and you're accepting that lie, and no one could live up to those expectations. So my advice really, for those who are on social media only follow those who will benefit you in the dunya and MVR, Hara and otherwise quit social media. Don't spend your time on it. It's wasteful and it's poisonous.

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So here we are required to have justice and how we treat each other and if you want justice with them. You also have to if you want them to treat you with justice, you also have to be just with them a Hulu Holyhead that was the federal law do you want to come first off we?

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have Linda Hello Bill Alameen Hamdan cathinone, even with Allah confy, he will also leave us in the marinara Saudi Mohammed, while he was so happy he was sitting them in my bed.

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So we are really in a state of jihad to preserve the family. This is a jihad with the self jihad against the Shavon. So how do we protect our families? How do we protect our marriage? few points in sha Allah just to keep in mind that kind of implement. First of all, if we know that this is a NEMA from Allah as Zoda thank Allah for it. Before you get married, if you are not already married, pick the right meat. For me that it didn't look for though, for that one that is religious, who loves Allah loves the prophets of Allah he was in wants to build a family that is obedient to Allah azza wa jal, family that wants to be in heaven. And a woman also and when you're choosing your man as

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well, man or woman who are religious and they have good character, there are good.

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So that's one and make dua for that. And even if you're married, don't give up and say I already made that choice. Because that person that you chose can change. And they can change for the birth best or the worst. They could go either way, or benevolent. I mean, as Virgina will do react, Tina Kurata Aryan, which Annette in mattina Eema part of the dua of the righteous in the Quran is that you know, Allah grant us from our progeny, children and our spouses what will be pleasing to our eyes and make us role models for the righteous.

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It's not just fix them.

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It's the Allah as the didn't make them the best that they could be and me as well. Because if you are not as good, then you're not deserving that good from them as well. If you do not exhibit righteousness, how could they be righteous? You're driving them in the wrong direction. So yes,

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See Allah make me an example for the righteous a role model and fix my family for me fix my children for me fix my spouse for me and make this a constant dua. That's one.

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Second of all, shield your family from the shaytaan. If the chiffon is attacking you, and he's definitely attacking you, so where is your EBA inside the house? Because you want to make your house a fortress that the shaitaan cannot penetrate. So do you read Quran or not? And especially if you're going through trouble with your family, I would recommend a repetitive reading of Surah Al Baqarah. Keep reading it day after day. And after you finish it, start that again and start that again. Because Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that it expels the Shavon and brings Baraka in the house. So keep reading Surah Al Baqarah and then also your dhikr inside the house, your Sudan

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and staying away from haram because each haram Act is an invitation. Imagine if you want when you want to enter the house and you forget to mention Allah's Name the chiffon enters with you, right?

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Imagine if you commit a sin, isn't that an invitation? So minimize sin inside your house, please Allah Azzawajal and obey Him and your house will become the law as a fortress against the sheep farm.

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Add to that justice in treatment. What a Hootenanny through Liliana in their Bill Monroe, they have rights similar to the responsibilities that they have. So if you want and I'm talking to both male and female, if you want them to be the best, you should be the best.

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And they will always be only be able to give you as much as you are giving them and it's unjust. There is a bone that I want everything from them but I'm not willing to give that visible.

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And also understand that your relationship with Allah azza wa jal is also conditional on how you are with your mate. It's not simply how much I pray and fast and make dua. But how am I to my husband? How am I to my wife, that is part of your character and part of your taqwa.

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And Allah azza wa jal says in the Quran, in when he talks about dealing between husband and wife, he makes that reminder he makes often mind room.

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So for instance, trying to remember the idea here where Allah azza wa jal says that when the if you divorce, a female

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and you already had set a mother for her

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but you did not You're not we're not intimate with her funny, slow, methodical, so you're not intimate with her. You didn't get to sleep with her but you already had sit down Maha

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then Allah Azza says she deserves half of them. I heard that even be set

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Illa Yeah. funa we have one of the big here opposite to Nick everyone who

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attends Woodford Lavina.

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He says Then she deserves half of the Mahara unless she forgives it, or you forgive it. Meaning she says yes, I deserve half. But I don't want anything from you. It's forgiven. Or you say yes, you only deserve half but I will give you all

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though you don't have to. And Allah says what and that you forgive your right is closer to Toccoa.

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And don't forget to be generous with each other. This is when you are divorcing

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when you are separating, don't exhibit the worst of the worst of you. But the West is the best of you forgive because Allah says that is what Taqwa is and remember to be generous with each other.

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And if there is a conflict between you remember always was sunny, okay. Reconciliation is better than

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always is better. And also he said SubhanaHu wa Yati emphasis show. This is what while reconciliation is better. Remember that stinginess is always present in all of us. So I don't want to give anything but I want everything so Allah Azza in the same fight that in you find that in you don't be stingy with your rights. Don't be stingy with her rights, but rather give freely because this is what Allah azza wa jal loves. So yes, he said Alayhi Salatu was Salam Scirocco, how you complete Allah he wants to.

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He says the best of you is the best of his wives. And I am the best to my wife. So if you want to be best, show this in how you treat your wife. And he said also under his Salatu was Salam is still so beneath a pharaoh. Take good care of women. Fine no Napolitan me and Bill were in our cache in Filburn. A Allah for him to have the two people who can serve

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They're first also business a lot is said take good care of woman for a female is created from a rib and the boys bend part of the rib is the top. So if you want to straighten it, you're gonna break it. So take good care of woman. by that he means la Salatu was Salam is that she's not going to be exactly like you the way that you act the way that you see things probably a straight A to be a female is not structured like that. So if you want her to be exactly like you to think exactly like you, if you want to bend her so much that she is like you, you'll break her and he says don't break her. But rather what take good care of her, comforts her, cushion her, protect her. This is what he

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said to Ali his Salatu was Salam. On the other end also.

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He said to the females,

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he says you will number 18. Sir, there's no job for now coming lady my butt seen for how long it had it had an agenda. It says whatever female asks her husband for divorce without the harm that had fallen on her. It is haram for her to smell the fragrance of gender.

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Which means that that request is a major sin.

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Now, of course every female who's going through something will say of course, I've received in a form to justify asking for divorce. But that is really a subjective answer. If you want to know whether you qualify for that as a person of knowledge, whether this is legitimate or not. Otherwise, it's haram because Allah azza wa jal and his prophets Allah Allahu Allah, He will only he was in them, they want you to continue and persist as long as that is possible and don't listen to the whispers of the shape line. And the last thing in sha Allah that I say is what avoid arguments unnecessarily don't argue over everything. And Rasul Allah is Allah Allah He was sent me he said,

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and as the aim will be baiting below the agenda theory vantara, can we Raha one? Okay, number two, it says I guarantee a house in Jannah for one who leaves arguing, even if he's right, even if she's right. We sometimes argue about insignificant nonsensical things, and it becomes something out of nothing. With here are the Salatu was Salam, he says you're right. But you realize that this argument leads to nothing. So you start arguing for the sake of who Allah as though did and you defeat your own ego, the desire to be right all the time, and to prove the other person wrong. He says if you do that, and that is your trait that is your quality. Then Rasul Allah is Allah audio

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cinema promised you a house in gender because it is jihad. So here we're asking our brothers, our sisters who are yet to get married, those who are married those who are happy, those who are having some trouble, remember that this is an AMA from Allah as though it didn't thank him for it, preserve it and do your best to please Allah Zona through that union. We ask Allah Allah but Allah need to bless our families and protect them from the Shavon the Allah grant us the best of mates in the dunya and the earth era he Allah grant us the best of children and help us to raise them well Jana but Allah need you Allah make our families pleasing to you make our family and make our children

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pleasing to Allah but anime make us the best of husbands and the best of wives and the best of children and the best of parents yellowfin Island me you Allah we asked you for all the good in this life and in the hereafter and protect us from all evil and heart in this life and in the Hereafter your Allah Who Revive Our Hearts with ima and revive our hearts with Dukkha ruin our bodies with decoy herbal alanine bring us closer to your hammer Rahimi do not make us as those who are distanced and away from you of those whose hearts have died and have heard and Jana will Allah Nene Allahumma attina for dunya hacer una Villa ferati Hassan our pina colada now Allah Maya mandible Kuru with a

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