Alaa Elsayed – Parenting Matters Special – Schools Out

Alaa Elsayed
AI: Summary ©
The importance of parenting and setting up healthy life during the pandemic is discussed, including the need for parents to be conscious of their demands and requests and being patient during the pandemic. The speakers emphasize the importance of investing in children, avoiding isolation, and not harming family relationships. The speakers also emphasize the need for parents to be present when eating and not allow phones or laptops on the table, and to delegate and use positive experiences to improve one's mental health and family relationships.
AI: Transcript ©
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My fi only.

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So I don't know what

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give me 10 seconds.

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You just tell me 10 then I'll come down.

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spillover from the local cinema Cinema, the cinema,

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mid brightness, Islam and welcome to a second episode of webinar coming to you from mahkota this is your brother in Islam Allah coming to you from Canada. This is a webinar now from the parenting matters, but it's the kids in school now and home. So hopefully you haven't sold any of them yet, and you're still married hamdulillah and I know now that you understand how important the teachers are in our lives, and you appreciate them a lot more than before. Now I understand I actually posted one of them that you're gonna be using it, but may Allah subhanaw taala protect to protect your family, protect your health and wealth and your children inshallah raise them up to be leaders. And

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speaking of that, today, we're going to be talking about some of the importance of understanding with the children how to be raised, and also our duties as the most important part as parents to be able to raise them righteously. And the features and benefits of bed and everyone in the admin job comes to you in a few minutes that we share together today.

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Today, I want to ask you a question. Let's start with a question. I know we talked last week about marriage. So I'm going to ask you again the question, why did you want to get married?

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How many of us actually wanted to get married to raise the next slide?

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How many of us wanted to have a child to be the leader of the oma and to reason not just to be a doctor, an engineer and so on or a lawyer, but to reason to be both doctor, engineer, lawyer and also person that memorized

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or a child that has the knowledge or the next a mom or a Mufti or or why don't we work on both ways. And I'm going to also actually give you another challenge, remember, has been busted, I have to lie.

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When a man came to him, he says, please help my child. Reason, teach him is too late. And I remember this again, will lie over and over again. And it hit me hard The first time I heard it, so I'm sharing it with you.

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Till the event is helped me to raise my child, this is too late for the third time, the same request and the same reply. Because what do you mean? It says raising your child?

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It starts with choosing the mother.

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So this is the proactive approach. Now, if you're already married, if you already have children, it's never too late. But I'm just gonna tell you about also the theories of Alibaba.

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And who is actually an orphan? Not exactly what you think, and the 21 theory, and so on and so forth. Okay, so let's talk about the definition of an orphan. I don't mean to make you

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feel bad or anything, but it's just to wake her up or for me first, and for my brothers and sisters out there.

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So what is your definition of note?

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Not really looking for an answer to a question. But if you make comments, by all means, feel free. So according to some of the righteous used to say, they say the a team, the orphan is not the one they said about the one that has no parents. But though

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the holla to Obama's Buddha, he has a mother, he has a father, but his mother is abandoned.

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And his father is so busy for them.

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You know, that's what we call the dollar sign debt. And the career mom, before I go into this, please understand that I'm not asking the sisters would like to stay home and do whatever it is, I understand the some of the countries that you have to have two incomes. I know that home I've been around enough to know that.

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And I understand that the Father usually thinks that my job is to make sure I put food on the table roof over their head and clothes on their back. That's part of the job. If you remember, we talked about this again, parenting matters if you're ever through the course with us before. Well, just a reminder. So what is it exactly that you do this? Some of the brothers haven't haven't done a great job. They've done amazing.

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You know, they, they put their lives out there and I understand some of us were lucky. may have not even had the best education background but

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We work part time, full time, double time, all the time, nighttime,

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just to provide our children a better opportunity that we did, we even came to different countries from whatever we call back home. We can even speak the same language. And it was difficult for us. But all of that we did our for our children, we do everything virtual. And I remember that. Remember when the others I mentioned the example before, remember when your wife came to us is Honey, I have some good news, the doctor told me I'm pregnant, and you prostrate to think a lovely gift is given and you put your hand in her tummy and you feel the kick. And you start planning. And you think that about when is I want to see them walk down the aisle, I want to see them graduate, I want to see the

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grant, obviously the children grandchildren. And and, and some of us will see that to come through it. Some of us unfortunately, that dream becomes a nightmare. So I'm going to give you some keys in order for you to make sure that you do your job. And again, before I go into the details, I want to take you off the hook. I want to make sure that you understand that if you do your part, if you do what you're asked to do alone will not hold you accountable on Judgement Day. And I was giving us examples in the plan that know how to set up probably more how to set I'm probably the

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one that had a father that was not a believer. And the one has a child and another beaver and both of them were among the five strongest the most persevered of the prophets and messengers. Amazing. So I'm trying to tell you if you do your best because I get this complaint shape. I raised them righteously. They weren't Islamic schools I had the righteous mother they memorize the Quran they used to. But that's what I'm gonna talk about a little bit later on what is this book about? Hidden if you've done your best if you've done Oh, you have to do and

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there is a wisdom behind it. Allah did not sometimes deliver that

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give you a certain things, but he went to do a lot more and either maybe a test. Maybe you see a fitna maybe whatever it is, but if you do your best, and if you've done up to the age of puberty, you raise them righteously, not just give them the Oshkosh massage, and oh my gosh, and all of that stuff that beat you up for the struggles with cream and all of these things. That's not what we're after we're after it's not how you just fit them or give them clean underwear and give them them but how do you raise them righteously? How did you raise them? islamically How did you did you do all your homework that way that if you said last?

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But if you haven't you will because Prophet Mohammed Salah Salem says give me money if money earlier may have Navy, what do you do? I am a young, the sufficient of a sense that you lead astray those who you're you're in charge of are responsible for especially when those will you you pay the money for you meaning responsible you are with your children, same thing. So I want you to keep in mind that please don't want to read it. And there's a banner the first banner is if it is to be it's up to me. So don't look around.

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If it is to be it's up to me, I'm not gonna point the finger to anybody else. Most of us nowadays you understand even more, when we put them through some schools you think that says we're done? We're not done? It's portion of the of that it actually starts at home? Yes. So please, when you go to the schools or Islamic schools, you're thinking, Okay, raise my child. It's the wrong attitude. So who did this? say to them say

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he was among the most knowledgeable if not the most knowledgeable?

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Well, let's have a nice Easter. See, we're lucky I remember my child when when I do pm. And he says when I do PM, I prolong my prayer.

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I prolong my prayer. So he says because I heard that will last panel Jellybean let's just

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put it up on him.

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So when he if you feel free me, but it says what do you do? Swiss bank account in a private jet

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insurance policy and no, allows them? How does it feel for your niche, you have to have two things. The first one is probably a duffel bag. And again, I explained this before, so let's take it at one letter at a time. But the word political, let's be conscious of a lot, but let's take a look at the components of that word itself. So fats, good fats, and then if it goes into a variable, but

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it actually is an indication indicative of the demand and a request. And why is

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it so this is not just beat up. But it's a demand from above and the request and it has to be in congregation.

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Not just for yourself. It's it's plural here. And it's ongoing. That means it's a similarity and a loss of Hannah gela Viola mentioned another entity you have to have extra patience with that in order for you to have the core in order for you to be able to raise the children. It allows

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and command your children the manual family to pray but be extra patient Why? Because the the word patient here comes in as

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all bets are off subtotal. That's the root of the verb. But when olanzapine LG, Lipitor added a letter in a root of that word, as the scholars, our teachers, teachers, they see as the definition of an easier there

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isn't a loss of handle to either has an extra letter in the root of that word is an indication of the extra meaning of that word. So don't just be patient be extra patient.

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So when you command your children, why do you think you have to command them to do so? When Prophet Mohammed Salim told you Motorola documents quality of service?

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demand your children to be at seven and discipline attend, because they're coming very close to either the age of 15 or at puberty, Novation different nations? Will they be held accountable? It says

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we'll take that quickly because it's not really one of the principles here. But it's a separate invent. That means this is preventative measures, not to have any deviant of their sexualities later on and have any

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psychological blocks and so on. So even boys with boys not together in the same bit, fellas, after seven, I don't want to go to the attempt because now everybody knows everything.

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So and don't tell me like worse a boy and a girl. So and don't tell me a boy, a boy and a girl. Nobody can listen by his ear and the feet here. So I'm gonna go like this still no? Nice try. Oh, yeah. So the idea behind it is to have a preventative measure, proactive measure, not reactive measure. So in order for you to do this, you have to have the

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leadership. Remember when the child was told by his father, watch your step, son, and the son says, Dad, watch your step, because I'll be following in your footsteps. And that's exactly what we do. brothers sisters, please understand that when you have your children, they're like a sponge, they absorb the look the watch you and after you watch what they do, they just imitate. So if you're going to be asking them for prayers, if you're gonna ask them to work a job, and if they're gonna ask him for the sheet layout, if you're not praying, you don't work your job, okay? How are we going to ask you that you're not at work your job. And if you're going to marry a wife that doesn't have

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the deed, my brothers and sisters, and with all due respect, if you marry somebody that doesn't, isn't even a Muslim, and I'm not gonna go to debate whether you were allowed to marry the people, or the people of the book, in the Christians, Jews are not, that's not my point at this point. But at least Think, think about the time that they did. The research shows the father was spent for 26 minutes a day with the children, who spends more time with them. It's their mother, my brothers and sisters. So please understand that this is exactly what you want. I don't blame anybody else. So if you wanted the 3624 36 I'm happy for you enjoy, are you gonna be able to pay the price. But again,

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there's exceptions.

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But, but it's something

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I'll talk about, because it's part of the forefront By the way, remember that the orphan was part was what says he has, he has parents. But his father's too busy, and his mother's neglectful. So the mother My brother is number one, believe it or not, according to the teachers, according to scholars, number one, rights for your children before you even have them to choose the righteous mother. Okay, that's number one. So when it comes to the, the ways that you can, what's number one, hug some of the scholars that you say that you make when you have intimate relations with your spouse, before we even created a language, English language.

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So all up with at this time with our children, it's not to say that that mean that they're not going to send or make mistakes, of course they will, but they will die in the state of Islam. That's what the interpretation of this means. I remember what I used to think it's a joke and share this with the report. And it actually turned out to be a true story. So one brother wanted to get married and was doing his own work. Shift Teach me this. So he goes back and just teaching it to her all the time repeats and repeats and repeats. And then on the wedding night, he signs wife first time fully loaded. Yeah, full makeup looks Mashallah. No hijab and all of that stuff. So he forgot.

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So he's trying to remember.

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And then he said

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to panelists,

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and thanks for playing thanks for coming out.

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So now we understand my brothers sisters is not just putting this all the best stuff and you put the best furniture but you have no time to spend. So I'm going to ask you to do a few things. So when it came to the brothers and I asked him and I remember this, we'll look at a story once and I think I was teaching Home sweet home in Manchester. I could be wrong.

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But

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I remember saying this this story, and I cried because I was that guy.

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But it changed my life in back and I changed my schedule and all of that stuff. And

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so I remember one one time the father comes in from work, and he's tired. His son comes up to him says that

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he wants to spend some time with him and talk and the father was tired, and he says, Get away from his son. And you see, I'm tired. So the son goes back and goes to his room and cries, Father, after he comes down, he made a mistake. It goes back to son's room. Sorry, son, what did you want? Just wanted to ask you how much you make an hour.

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So he told him, I make $10 an hour. So here you go, that is $10, can I spend an hour of your time?

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Can I have an hour in fact that I spent with your announcement, so spend time with them where you can spend time with them, I'll tell you what the reasons when I call it the the dollar sign that

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the dollar sign that whether it's simple, your children don't know you, you don't know them, all they see when they see you is $1 sign on your face. Why? Because that's what you're present to them. You're the guy that brings the the money, you were the guy that you thought that that's your job is to put food on the table goes on their back roof over their head, or lay that's not your job, as I mentioned as part of your job. And you don't know you see, they don't know your you they don't you don't know them. You don't know their secrets that you don't actually know what they want to do not we want them to do that you don't have a you don't run to you for consultation you go to their

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friends for do so because every time you do it, you have the 111 everything is held on fire.

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So imagine, when you come home,

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your children run to you or run away from

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let's say, that's a good measuring stick to keep in mind.

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So please understand that if you don't spend time with them,

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now, they won't spend time with you. Why? Because as I said, they will see you just as $1 sign. Okay, so what does that mean? Well, when you spend the money for them, and May Allah bless you, but if that's the only relationship you have with them, the it's a payback time. Now, when you put them through school and they have a job, they don't need you anymore, because they have the dollar. And that's all you're presented for them. So guess what, when you grow, because it has spent time with them when you are young, they're not going to spend time with you on your own. And guess what, they'll pay you back, they'll put you in a senior home, that's the dollar sign. Remember that

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they're not you're gonna stay with them. They're not they look after you. And they almost want to protect us that we don't need to be dependent on anybody. Yeah, May Allah give us long, healthy, right, just like that we are going to be able to do fend of ourselves and be independent, not ask anybody.

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But that's what it is my brothers if you ended up in a senior home with your son or your daughter, whatever, just paying the bills for you to be on your own. And that's the payback. So remember, it's a debt you have to repay. And the best way to make sure that your children are good you the scholars say be good your parents will

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be good to your parents, your children will be good to you. So basically what you're doing my brothers sisters, you are writing a book that your children will be raised for you understand, so how you work your parents, your children will show you that the book that you've written with your own actions or deeds towards your parents. So if you really wondering what's wrong with my children, you're going to have to look at how you deal how you dealt and how you behave and how you treated your parents. Okay, so that's the one the second one My dear sister,

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what is a better career than you being raised three times higher than that. You can raise architect you can raise highest

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skyscrapers. Now the high rises but to raise a child to raise a leader that there is someone that would change the oma change the life of people, the one that can find the Coronavirus,

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cure and all of that the one that will take the next select Dean the next one that will find cure for cancer, the one that will be a defender for the oma the one that revives the sun that so on and so forth. That's a huge one of

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the understand. As I said before, will lay I want you to the best doctor, I want you to guess the best profession and everything you do, but not on the account where you're going to lose your husband. And not only a country and as usual, there's a loss of energy liberal judgment, they will not ask you, did you get your PhD?

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Or is it going to ask you How much money did you get?

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Did you get promoted or whatever? Did you spend the time you know what did you do it?

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May Allah make you successful in everything you do? No problems. But as long as the job is valid, and your husband you know is okay with it and you agreed to it before that and yet you do your your your duties in front of a lot your family, you're 100

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But if your children, by all means feel free, but make sure you have your priorities straight.

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So remember, the oma comes with the word home, as well. And it used to say, women are half of this room, and they give birth to the other half of the room. That means that they are the whole group. Now you understand who you are, don't belittle yourself.

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Please understand that the last panel toddler is your honor because of that. And the three times by the way, is the time the three levels higher than they are husband, is the time that you carried your job.

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And the time that you deliver pain, and the time you win for two years, that you breastfed your job nursery job, that's the three times that women will never be able to compete. So please understand that there is another definition of an orphan By the way, not just the one that has the parents, but

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on

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the one some of the scholars say the one that is an orphan, the one that is an orphan of the

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Can you imagine the orphan according some of the definition of the scholars, the orphan is the one that has no fluff, no character? Okay, so you raised them to have the GQ look at Gianni Versace Giorgio Armani, you were the best tie. He's got the best, the car best. Everything he's got the most expensive whatever it is, but you know what? There's no of luck. Not left, no Dino north node Serbia, nothing. There was not nurtured, he was just raised.

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This is something that scholars say actually is important. So please, let's put the foundations now. We really said that you know what, these children here that driving you nuts right now because you there's no school and you have to do your own schooling and all of that at this point. While there are products of you. So when you when people come to my office and complain about the children says, you know, what, what is this gentleman? Why are you complaining about them with you? Who are his children, and the directivity to the children are your address. So please make sure Chicago,

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Chicago lab National Lab, which means what the difficulties that children going to go through the difficulties of the parents are going to go through. So you have a choice, my bonuses to invest in your children earlier on, or to pay the price later on.

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So what does that mean? I pay my dues early, I cruise later. Yeah. So but if I don't pay my dues early, I'm not gonna pay my dues later. So it's your choice, I'd rather you invest in them

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to become a Hjelm buddy, I'm gonna play for you, not against you, they may drive for you. Remember, last month, Allah will give you that reward for everything you've taught them with anyone you'd never be. And by the way, the scholar says these things actually their children, you believe it doesn't matter.

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When even being dissections and these are caught up accepted,

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first of all set up. And we already know that it says the best money to spend as much money for the job you spend or your family. So it's not an expense bonus, this is an investment. The second thing is imagine every time we teach you.

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Every time they read it, you get the reward every day, how you taught him how to pray, even given the tools to be able to do so. And the poor and Islamic education, even the schools or the halaqaat you're given the righteous company and the righteous environment, you're given the tools, you will get the reward and says well

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how would the child know that even this these existed, they don't have the the tools that you've given them. So please understand, it's a great investment, my brothers sisters. So remember that the example again they've given you plant the seed to say Bismillah

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the water is lawful source of income. Yes to six opponents in that either straight narrow.

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The lead by example, your luck, the fruit or your lineage, your progeny. And that's how you invest.

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I want to also share with you my verses just for the How to reason and level of the

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elevator palace haberdashery. Remember the 21 theory we said the first seven years ago TLC, tender loving care had been embraced and spend time with them. Have them get to know them, let them love you to be there for them spend time invest.

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Second seven years is teach discipline.

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See, right, wrong, hello. acceptable, not acceptable.

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And then the last seven years befriend because once they get in over the teenage years, they become rebels. He did not go through the first and second phase properly. The third phase you're going to be pay the price for a long time. So please make sure that my bonus sisters you spend time with him. So what I'm going to do, I'm going to ask you for this just to spend time with him to go on a date. What I did with the children Okay, so I did tell you about the Maya theory, but this one, the

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I want to actually teach you something else. on your calendar, your Google Calendar, I'm gonna, depending on how many children you have, you're gonna have to take one child at a time, not to mention the family, the effort, the family time, they take the whole family one time. And you're going to tell them, You know what, depending on how many children, every child gets to pick what they want to do, and

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that teaches them to write additionally, Emeritus in the ownership of teaching that decision process, it isn't that they actually are part of this family, and they instill confidence.

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So this is one thing that you can do. So what you're going to do is, you know, what, if it's your turn, you know, I go work out, I used to work out with my son, now, he's

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happy with that.

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Now, we don't know what happened,

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doesn't matter, I spend time with him, learn about their hobbies, learn about it, and share it with them. befriend them, it's important, it's an investment. So this is something that I'm going to ask you to, especially if you're in and the, you know, this isolation. And as I said before, you know, it's not isolation, it's actually Self Realization, is self discovery, you're discovering that you actually are happy person, you already have a family, that you, you long for you, you already had a faith to hold on to a friend to miss and all of that stuff, you all had the happiness of your fingertips, but even though now take advantage of that they could have any time before you have

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none. So take advantage of reaching, reaching your, for that beautiful family time, raising your children properly. Let's do helicon. As we mentioned before, on a weekly basis, this is something that I'm gonna emphasize a lot helicon remember, you start then your wife, then the first job and second child, this is what you're going to do. And the reason that way. And this is something that I'm going to emphasize, actually, and how to listen. So I'm going to share with you something called the elephant theory, I'm sure you heard it before. But just a reminder of the elephant theory is simple. The elephant theory is when the elephant is young be put steel shackle with a metal chain,

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cemented firmly in the ground. So no matter what they do, they're not going anywhere. So they often tries to get away so many times and they're not going to be able to. And so the Submit is submit that they're actually

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they can't, they can do it. And they give up. So they have a psychological block. As soon as the shackle was put on their foot, the surrender. So when the elephant goes up,

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what happens?

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As soon as the elephant feels the shackle on their on their foot? That's it, these stops, they don't even bother, because why wouldn't they were young you already tried. So they have the psychological block and stayed with them, even when they're big and strong, and they can actually get away. They don't. So what do we learn from that? So if your child hears this from you, brothers and sisters, and you're supposed to be the one who protects them, you don't want to nurture them, he's the one that you actually govern

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this, they think the world of you, they think they think of you they have the s on your chest, do you think you I remember when I when I was a child, I went back to the old apartment we still live in, because it looks so small, because when you're young, all the furniture looks Wow. And the parents look Wow. And all of a sudden you grow and you're big and strong, and the only one.

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So they look at you as the hole when you crumble the whole world pumps. So remember, my brothers, sisters, when you keep that in mind, when you tell your children, you're a loser. You're an idiot. I wish I never had you why you're so stupid. You'll never amount to anything.

00:28:42 --> 00:29:20

This is exactly what they will think of themselves. Because who you think who you are, who you are, who you are. So if the most beloved people, the one will love you keep telling you, you're an idiot, you're stupid, you're in the mountain nothing. You're a loser. Well, I must be a loser, I must be an idiot, I must be stupid, because my parents keep telling you this. So please, please differentiate between a behavior and a person. So if you tell if you talk to your children, says, honey, I love you, but your behavior is unacceptable. So that means you have to make sure that the way, especially when the time you're going to spend time with them more now than ever, especially in this time that

00:29:20 --> 00:29:57

we're going through to be very careful what you say to them, and differentiate between their behavior and themselves. I love you, son, I love your daughter, but your behavior is unacceptable. And use that you teach that like the Prophet Mohammed told me to do it. He says when you saw a young boy, not slaughtering properly, what did he do? He taught them first verbally. So it says he gave him the example. You know, what can I show you? So he says, Here's how to do it. And he explained it verbally. And then you should have hands on is how you do it. Then he given life, they'll go ahead and do it. They understand the three stages explained to them. Then show them and then give them the

00:29:57 --> 00:29:58

opportunity to do so.

00:29:59 --> 00:29:59

Now

00:30:00 --> 00:30:34

Of course, there are differences between the children, some of them are actually verbally, like some people will actually get instructions verbally very well. Some people, some of the children will not be able to get the, they don't absorb verbal instructions very well, they have like the hands on type, right? So you have to show them. And you also have to know the difference between children, and who has what is called the mirror effect, the carryover effect. So the mirror effect is what when you submit it shows that you're happy, confident love them, they will, that's the mirror that they'll feed off that. And the carryover effect, what does that really mean? The carryover is the,

00:30:34 --> 00:30:50

you know, I know my child is really a good person that good luck is good, won't matter. But he may not be the most intellectual for them all. Okay, so I'm going to compensate that I have another child that is very intellectual, the a student's right. But he's not really

00:30:51 --> 00:31:18

the best and character and dealing with the personal skills, and so on. So I'm going to carry over something to make to compensate for that, and feed off the positive. And please make sure that if your children do what they love, they won't have to work a day in the life, look at the strength in them and invest in, that means this person here has this strength in him. So I'm not going to ask him do something that they're going to hate it for the rest of their life, it's a chore, it's going to be a miserable life.

00:31:19 --> 00:31:45

Please don't push your children do something that you want to do or fail to do. Yes, and you want to see your own dreams in them. I understand that it touches goodwill, and I admire that. But please give them a golden opportunity to be able to do to be who they are the best of who they are. So please invest in that you have to look and research what their strengths are, and invest in that and encourage it. So also the positive reinforcement is extremely.

00:31:46 --> 00:32:01

I love what you did there. I really appreciate when he did this because of 123. So he explained to them why, even why you're disciplined? Not just why you're rewarding. And don't go overboard either or, yeah, I mean, it's a long, the discipline not gonna go through at this point.

00:32:03 --> 00:32:04

But remember,

00:32:05 --> 00:32:21

you're allowed to discipline of course, but in a way that you cannot harm or do even damage the hands and and go above the average, that'd be seen because that means you cannot go go, and you cannot hit the same place twice, don't hit the face, or any private part, and so on. And if your child says that would

00:32:22 --> 00:32:27

have to be and continue. But don't tell your children that tricky. Otherwise, as soon as they see

00:32:30 --> 00:32:38

me, hello, protect your child. Okay, so let's finish with a few things. First of all, you have to have patience, I understand.

00:32:39 --> 00:32:40

It's not easy.

00:32:42 --> 00:32:44

But the fruit of heaven, this righteous maze.

00:32:45 --> 00:33:00

It's priceless. I remember when we heard about it, we've seen it, your life changes, you will make your whole decision based on whether you stay in the country or in a country get a job and get a job. Everything's there, but the reward is there. So what is the ultimate?

00:33:02 --> 00:33:05

before it goes to the finish the session? And so

00:33:06 --> 00:33:16

I want to tell you, what is the ultimate goal to a chef, you know, this is you know, what, what is my ultimate goal, my ultimate goal is to be with my children. And family in general.

00:33:19 --> 00:33:21

is so easy. This is

00:33:22 --> 00:33:27

the righteous the believers will spend some time together.

00:33:28 --> 00:33:31

You know, I always even my children.

00:33:33 --> 00:33:38

They're almost there. Yeah, we're almost getting the second honeymoon. So I tell my wife after we finish that would be

00:33:39 --> 00:34:00

now that they're going away. We're getting that feeling. But it's amazing. So now that we're spending some time together, I'm happy. Yeah. And so now you know what I wish we had a house that didn't come back live here. We can get to this get to that get back together. But can you imagine how happy are the families back together? And you see all your children and now you see grandchildren so on. But could you imagine

00:34:01 --> 00:34:13

when we're actually together agenda in paradise talking about the dreams talking about these things, but you have to pay your dues to the Los Angeles zoo. That isn't enough. Yeah, you're Latina, I'm an

00:34:14 --> 00:34:15

illegal now.

00:34:17 --> 00:34:21

There has to be like this. Especially you made my brother.

00:34:22 --> 00:34:28

You know why? Because when I lost my that I was talking to the atomizer lab. And so the time

00:34:31 --> 00:34:51

Allah will hold you accountable Vietnam, of course, you have to make sure that I understand that. But please make sure that you know that ultimately you are the one who's responsible for this. Now, I'm not going to go into too much details of the guarantee matters. But at least let's let's talk for some solutions. So now we're together here. What do we do? Okay? So we have to delegate.

00:34:53 --> 00:34:59

keep them busy, because if they're not busy, dude, you're going to be the one entertaining them. But I don't want to use the entertainment okay.

00:35:00 --> 00:35:10

Goal. Let's watch this movie. Let's get somebody else that you did. Yeah, take advantage of it. This is a captured captive audience. Now, when you have a meal, you have a meal together.

00:35:11 --> 00:35:24

Rubbish. That means what? no phones, no laptops, nothing, no interruptions, this one here. You should we shouldn't allow any phones on the table. I understand if you're,

00:35:25 --> 00:35:32

if you're a CEO or something or president of a company or a president of a country.

00:35:34 --> 00:35:36

If you are we need to talk to you need help.

00:35:38 --> 00:35:49

So if that's the case, I understand exceptions, but the norm is remember, when you come to the house, even if you're allowed to go outside, give a box at the door, leave it

00:35:50 --> 00:36:05

and that's when you're when you leave and take it back. I understand sometimes you need the downtime, and you do that that's entertainment. So different life now I know that but at least when you talk to each other, like if you come and your your children have the headphones in a way or when you're sitting down together.

00:36:07 --> 00:36:08

Go that's up.

00:36:10 --> 00:36:18

Okay, so let's do this. Let's have a maybe a Quranic competition, and I'm not gonna pull this shit that milkshake on whatever

00:36:19 --> 00:36:38

level like, we're human beings, let's have fun. You can have a competition, you know, a competition, for example you can have whatever it is, you know, ask questions from the plant itself, how many? How many? How many words and all of that stuff, what is the letter that was? There's so many questions, but also have fun. You don't have to have everything like DDD.

00:36:40 --> 00:37:17

Once in a while, it's fine, it's good. Even, you can also have a board game that is sufficient to induce the intellect, you can have something together that is beneficial. And watch something that's documentary that's gonna benefit them use things that will be a positive influence on them. And so on and so forth. Have a story share something they love that it let them you know, delegate responsibilities. For example, you know, what my son takes care of the garbage or the outside is something that everybody has a task that everyday in the morning, you know, this is yours, this is mine, I'll do this, you do this. Now you don't know what let's cook together. Whatever it is, you

00:37:17 --> 00:37:36

teach me this, I teach you that. So these are the things that are going to be extremely important for for all of these, the times that you're going to use positive. And then having the leather is plenty of things to do together, get to know one another. Again, let's rediscover ourselves. This rediscover that hamdulillah loveless was doing, look around

00:37:37 --> 00:37:58

and be grateful to Allah for what he's given. And take advantage of it before it's too late. Now, hopefully we'll do this and stage by stage we'll take you there again on a weekly basis. This mostly will allow will alternate between the Home Sweet Home spouse in the house. And parenting matters in

00:37:59 --> 00:38:08

school. So with that, as a loss of Hannah della good to give you a string and the mental capacity to be able to extend this lovely test that you're going through now.

00:38:10 --> 00:38:12

And don't sell your children

00:38:13 --> 00:38:41

in them and stay married. Alright brothers, sisters, get to know one another in a positive way. Enjoy yourself. Do your best with what you got. And remember, for stubborn, stubborn, be extra patient I asked about resumes and all those this feature for the rest of it. Zach malachite and again for bringing this to light homes, homeschool, and parenting does back from our culture and everybody on behalf Thank you my mom. Thanks, Doctor. Thanks. Keep smiling to panic alone.

00:38:48 --> 00:38:49

For the freedom seeker, we

00:38:55 --> 00:38:56

can go south

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