» Earn on-going rewards and help us do more! «

The In-Laws

share this pageShare Page
Abdullah Hakeem

Channel: Abdullah Hakeem

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:10--> 00:00:13

shaytani r rajim Bismillahi Rahmani Raheem

00:00:15--> 00:00:22

in Alhamdulillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah water Allah He was happy he won my wallet.

00:00:24--> 00:00:34

Rubbish roughly sorry, Emery wash Lola Melissa Nico Kohli am about my brothers and sisters salaam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

00:00:36--> 00:00:44

On behalf of one or hufa I would like to welcome you all again to this great occasion to the lead up of the Nika which is tomorrow Alhamdulillah

00:00:45--> 00:01:04

and as you all know, today is the Monday night and this is actually exclusively for women only. So it is requested inshallah that after this talk, we're gonna pray Missouri pray inshallah, after Missouri, we're gonna have our dinner and straight after dinner, we'll make our way to Mr. Mama's house inshallah.

00:01:07--> 00:01:10

So, we're gonna make our way there so the women can have their privacy inshallah.

00:01:12--> 00:01:39

hamdulillah. Yesterday, we talked about the rights of women, parts of the rights of women. Today, it is very important to also talk about the rights of parents and the rights of the in laws. And I'm sure that this is something that is also misunderstood by a lot of us a lot of the Muslims today, especially that are coming from the Hindu cultural background.

00:01:41--> 00:02:02

And I'm sure that this is very beneficial, especially to our youth inshallah, who will be married very, very soon. So, it is a good information for them to understand and learn and also for parents, who have children, who will later on be parents or in laws in the future. Insha Allah.

00:02:04--> 00:02:06

Allah subhanahu wa taala mentions in the Quran

00:02:08--> 00:02:25

work Adora buka Allah Tabu Illa iya wobble Valley rainy Santa and this is one of the most famous is in the Quran, where Allah subhanho wa Taala he joins the obedience of parents with the obedience of Allah.

00:02:27--> 00:02:46

Again, Allah subhanho wa Taala joins the obedience towards parents to the obedience to Allah subhanho wa Taala Allah says that what are the Arab buka? Allah tabuteau illa Yeah, that first and foremost that obedience is to Allah subhanho wa Taala that is number one.

00:02:47--> 00:02:54

What will surely the Sunnah and that you, all of us Muslims, be dutiful to our parents?

00:02:55--> 00:03:37

When do we need to especially be beautiful to our parents? Allah subhanaw taala mentioned that in the next verse. Allah subhanaw taala says in Maya below nine Cal Kibera a Haida Houma Oklahoma falletta Kula Houma wallet and her Houma. wakulla Houma. polen Karima Allah subhanaw taala says that if one of them one of your parents, or if both of your parents attain old age, when they become frail, when they need you, when they need your support, then do not at that moment, do not even say words of any disrespect. Allah subhanaw taala uses the word off.

00:03:38--> 00:03:49

Even that is haraam. Even that is not allowed by Sharia. If your parents need your help, I need your support. You need to be there as a support and as a guide for them.

00:03:50--> 00:03:51

That is our duty

00:03:52--> 00:04:38

wallet and her Houma wakulla Houma pollen Karima and speak to them words of kindness, words of respect. words that make them smile when they see you. This is our last panel tada says, will fit lahoma Jana Halima Rama and lower your wings of mercy towards them. worker Roberto ham Hama Hama Kumara biani sobre la la sponsor that gives us a specific Dwyer a specific to our to always ask our parents. That is an appeal fairly well every day yo Hama Hama, Kumara biani. Samira. Allah forgive me, forgive my parents, and Allah have mercy on my parents because they had mercy on me when I was young, when I was little. Allah subhanaw taala beautifully describes about the obedience of parents

00:04:38--> 00:04:49

he and we all know for many, many a hadith about the importance of respecting and obeying our parents. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam in many ahaadeeth has mentioned

00:04:50--> 00:04:53

one of the Hadith ressourcer Allahu alayhi wa sallam said,

00:04:54--> 00:04:58

there was a Sahaba who came to the Prophet salallahu alaihe salam and asked Dr. rasulillah

00:04:59--> 00:05:00

What is that?

00:05:00--> 00:05:11

The best deed, the best deed that a man or a Muslim can do. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, A Salah to flock to her to pray the Salah in its time.

00:05:12--> 00:05:22

And then the Sahaba said to mama, mama, and what else after that? So Salam said, beautiful valley, then the second thing is

00:05:23--> 00:05:41

to the parents obedience towards the parents. So, in the general sense, all of us need to understand the importance or the level, the elevation of parents in Islam. Now, let's get into the specifics. Let's get into this specific way a man and a woman just got married.

00:05:42--> 00:05:46

Now what is their rights or what is a parent's right and what is the in laws rights?

00:05:48--> 00:06:02

Now, it comes to the point where they need to be or especially the husband, the newlywed, he needs to draw a line where obedience towards parents are and how to make your wife happy.

00:06:03--> 00:06:35

Because there are pseudo laws that Allahu Allah Sallam said, hydroquinone beside him that the best of you are those who are best their wives. But also Rasul salam wa sallam said below, validate that you need to be dutiful to your parents. So how do you lay the balance? How do you lay the balance because they can be conflicts in the future? This is a point where a sort of lots of Allahu alayhi wa sallam left it to every individual to sort that matter out with himself and his spouse and his parents. He should know where to draw the line.

00:06:36--> 00:07:12

So Allah subhanaw taala, many places no Quran, Russell, Sarah la sala many places the Quran mentions the rights of the parents. Does that change for a man after he is married? Does that change for a man? The answer is no, it does not change for a man. The rights of the parents is still there, the obedience of the parents is still there. Therefore, whenever the parents need their help and support, the son should be there to support them and help them in any way possible. In any means. If any financial help the end, the end, the son is able to help them financially, they should be there to help them.

00:07:13--> 00:07:22

But what if your wife or anyone generally your wife tells you, no, don't give money to them? Or they all she says no, don't go and visit them.

00:07:23--> 00:07:26

Don't visit them for no valid reason.

00:07:27--> 00:07:48

What can be a valid reason? a valid reason could be that you spend a whole day every weekend, every holidays at your parents house. But you don't even spend a moment with your wife. That is a valid reason where you can negotiate with your wife, you shouldn't put her down on that issue. But if she has no valid reason, just because she doesn't like your mother or your father,

00:07:49--> 00:07:58

should you listen to on that regard? Obviously not. It's best to even leave that type of women. Because that woman will destroy you, your family, your whole household,

00:07:59--> 00:08:26

a Muslim women is a is a woman that understands after marriage, that her in laws is still the husband's parents. And it is every right that the man should look after the parents. So the parents does not owe the rights to the parents from the sun does not change. What about the daughter in law to the parents of the husband? Or their parents in law from for the wife.

00:08:28--> 00:09:24

Now, there is no Hadith, there is no ayah in the Quran, there is no sahabas have not mentioned it because there was there was no example of the time just how does that a woman must respect or must obey her in laws. This if she does it out of her own will or out of obey or obedience towards her husband, her status is elevated in Islam, her status is elevated in Islam. If her husband told her, please, you know, listen to my parents, whatever they tell you. And if she does that, on her own regard, even though islamically there is no evidence whatsoever, but if she does it on her own regard, then her status is elevated. But the question here is, is she obliged? He or she oblique

00:09:24--> 00:09:59

obligated to listen to her in laws in that regard. Let me ask you another question. Another question is, if the husband tells the wife that you have to listen to whatever my brother tells you to do, when he or you have to listen to whatever my sister tells you to do, or you have to listen to what my neighbor tells you to do. Does that make any sense? Does that make any sense? It doesn't make any sense because the obedience to the husband is that whatever the husband tells in the household, whatever the rights are to the woman should be fulfilled. That is what the husband can order. The husband can

00:10:00--> 00:10:42

Ask his wife to obey or disobey. Obviously respect is there a bather obey the parents, then she from our own will, and her status will be elevated in Islam, she will be rewarded, and her status will increase so much in the eyes of Allah subhanaw taala because the obedience to the husband is great, and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, and I will sisters, make sure you understand this in sha Allah. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that obedience wife, the obedient wife is the one who obeys a husband. And if she passes away, and her husband is happy with her, she enters Jana, straightaway, she answers Jana.

00:10:43--> 00:11:00

But the men should understand realize that women are frail. So we should not pressure them in doing the things beyond her means. Now let's go to the husbands in laws, the husband's in laws, which is the parents of the wife,

00:11:01--> 00:11:45

the parents of the wife, what is the rights towards them, to the son in law, the son in law should respect them and treat them like what our sister Allahu Allah Salam said in the Hadith, whoever does not show kindness to youngsters, and does not respect their elders are not from my nation are not from me. Therefore, we should treat our in laws, the best way possible, if they need help, help them out, like you would help any other elderly person. This is our duty as Muslims. Islam does not say that you need to treat your in laws like your parents. It does not say that but what about the wife towards her parents after marriage? That is when the status changes?

00:11:46--> 00:12:08

Yes, Bill validate is there after day after Allah. It's the obedience of parents. But when a woman gets married from the mouth of the sahabas, the consensus of the Sahaba is they say that the husband becomes in between the last prophet Allah and the parents, therefore, the husband's obedience elevates higher than the parents.

00:12:09--> 00:12:17

Does everyone understand that? Therefore, the wife bazer husband more than she has to obey her parents.

00:12:18--> 00:12:25

Even if the wife wants to visit her parents? Can her husband stop her? Give me an answer yes or no?

00:12:26--> 00:12:29

Can her husband stop her from visiting her parents?

00:12:31--> 00:12:51

The husband can't stop her. The husband is allowed to stop her. But the condition is give a valid reason. There has to be a valid reason. If you don't have a valid reason, all you're doing is breaking the ties of kinship and breaking the ties in kinship in Islam is absolutely Haram in the sight of Allah subhanaw taala.

00:12:52--> 00:12:57

But what if you know that the mother or the mother or the father of your wife,

00:12:58--> 00:13:40

all they do is gossip? All they do is spread evil in the heart of your wife? And you know this by Sharia law, you can't lie to Allah subhanaw taala you notice, are you allowed to stop her? Yes, you are. Because that is a valid Islamic reason. But you cannot stop her for a very long time. That is something you can't do. Because in Sharia, if your wife's parents are non Muslims, if your wife parents are non Muslims, you still can't stop them. But you can have a limit, you can have a limit, likewise, then visiting you or your house, same rule applies. The wife needs to ask permission from her husband. Because their associate Allah Allah, Allah mentioned that the process allows parents

00:13:40--> 00:14:12

Allah mentioned that in the Quran, what I mentioned earlier, that the wife needs to look after the husband's household in her absence. And that commentary on this ayah is she is not allowed to let anyone in without a husband's permission. Therefore, if her parents want to visit, she needs to get her husband's permission. So the rights of parents the rights of in laws should be clean out inshallah to Allah. And we, as Muslims, we need to know that after marriage,

00:14:14--> 00:14:20

you as men are taking a new woman into your life. And your mother,

00:14:21--> 00:14:59

obviously, will be a little bit jealous. Because all this time your mother was taking care of you. All this time your mother was feeding you all this time your mother bought you close all these time your mother was there. And now that you have taken another woman into your life, she will be jealous. And that is something that women have in their hearts. And not just that your wife will also be jealous, because you might like the food that your mom cooks better than what your wife does. But you should not mention that. Otherwise there'll be a lot of problems in the in the household. That is why the husband has been given that authority, the authority in the house to draw

00:14:59--> 00:14:59

a line

00:15:00--> 00:15:41

A woman naturally created by Allah. This is not from my words this is created by law. Women naturally are not able to be in authority or be able to draw a line between what is right what is wrong, what can create conflict, what can create conflict. That's why this authority has been given to the men and asked men need to follow the Sharia strictly in order to avoid any problems in the future inshallah huhtala. And I'm sure as Muslims living here in Australia, we have learnt a lot. We have learnt a lot in Islam. We are learning every single day about the rights. And I urge the youngsters in Sharla huhtala, who are getting married very, very soon to know the rights of your

00:15:41--> 00:16:23

parents and the rights of your wife and your own rights. Likewise, the parents who are embarking on a journey where their child is about to get married, make sure you understand what is the rights of your son or your daughter or your son in law or your daughter in law? insha Allah, Allah, may Allah subhanaw taala help us increase our knowledge in the married life in Islam? May Allah subhanaw taala help us understand the rights of parents and the in laws in shallows Allah, may Allah subhanaw taala guide us and help us to avoid any future problems any problems that could happen within the family. May Allah subhanaw taala help us go through if there are any problems within the family. Now last

00:16:23--> 00:16:32

pinata bless each other the newlyweds tomorrow and make them live a peaceful and happy life inshallah huhtala which is Aqua mala head Ramallah cul de la here.

00:17:25--> 00:17:25

Morning.

00:17:40--> 00:17:41

Hi,

00:18:25--> 00:18:26

Boys Boys stand up

00:18:40--> 00:18:40

all right.

00:19:47--> 00:19:48

Hello, hello. Hello.

00:20:05--> 00:20:07

Allahu Akbar

00:20:18--> 00:20:37

Allah Allah me a rush man you're rocking Maliki Oh my god. The Buddha he cannot sorry he did not sleep at all. Clean Slate all

00:20:39--> 00:20:41

nom de la him

00:20:56--> 00:20:59

either Zulu Zilla chill out booziness

00:21:01--> 00:21:02

Raja

00:21:03--> 00:21:09

Paula, Paula Sonoma ha Yo mama

00:21:10--> 00:21:11

to have to

00:21:13--> 00:21:15

be an nada Becca

00:21:17--> 00:21:18

yo ma Ed

00:21:20--> 00:21:25

Li Rama home Femi Amelie me Follow

00:21:30--> 00:21:33

me Follow the rotten

00:21:36--> 00:21:37

alarm like though

00:21:45--> 00:21:48

semi Allah What do you mean hamidah

00:22:15--> 00:22:16

owe

00:22:23--> 00:22:24

me

00:22:25--> 00:22:30

Murakami, Maliki omit the

00:22:32--> 00:22:33

Buddha he

00:22:35--> 00:22:37

is Dino split off

00:22:41--> 00:22:43

a nom de la him.

00:23:01--> 00:23:03

Lama Let me tell you the Walla

00:23:04--> 00:23:06

Walla mia kulu

00:23:18--> 00:23:19

semi Allahu

00:23:33--> 00:23:34

Allahu Akbar Oh

00:24:56--> 00:24:58

along with both