Divorce. To Be or Not To Be
Channel: Abdul Wahab Saleem
File Size: 6.28MB
Ustadh Abdul Wahab Saleem discusses a very touchy topic which is Divorce and what leads to it. He shares a very funny story which happened to someone in real life. A man divorced 5 women within a matter of minutes. Do you know how???
Episode Transcript ©
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Salam Allah Rasulullah Salallahu
Salam ala Sayyidina Muhammad wa ala alihi wa sahbihi edge Marine, aloha federal now and found out when I was in elementary I Kareem. Welcome, dear viewers to marriage matters with Muslim harmony where marriage is made easy. And today I'd like to share a story with you that being a story of a very, very angry man is angry man. He was really angry, like he usually is. And he walked into his house one day is very tough for wives, by the way, okay. So he walked into his house one day.
And as soon as he walked in, he saw all four of the wives, they were really, you know, angry at each other. It's a very angry household. And you know, we're not supposed to be angry and all this kind of stuff. So he sees his wives, they're all angry, and they're all enraged. And they're all fighting, and there's a lot of ruckus in the house and all sorts of things. So he looks at one of them. And he says, you right there, you're the one who's caused all this problem. So the wife is like, why I didn't do anything. So he said, You know what, you are divorced, you're the one who caused this problem. So you're going to be out of here. So what are the other wives? She says, You
know what, Mister for that? She's not the one who caused this problem. She hasn't done anything but good to you. And you couldn't solve this problem except through divorce. You have a problem yourself. So we are you think that you really think that? Mrs. You think that okay, well, you know what, you're divorced as well. So a third one gets up. Now she says, You know what, they're both really good to you. They're really good wives. They didn't do anything bad to you. They're really, really good people. And I don't know what is wrong with you. You're just you just woke up on the wrong side of the bed today. So you shouldn't have done that said, Oh, you really think you're the
smarty pants in the family. Right? So you're divorced as well. And then the fourth one comes, she says that you couldn't solve your problems to anything but divorce. He's like, yeah, I can't. So you're divorced as well.
So there was a woman looking at, at this house. I mean, back in those days, they might have not had roofs or something like that. Or maybe they were somewhere outside in the corridor, whatever it may be. So this woman was looking at a neighboring woman was looking at this family and she's like, what is going on here? She said that I have never ever seen a man divorce all of his wives all four of them in like, one minute. So she said to him at the top of her lungs, she said, You know what all the Arabs for the rest of generations, they're gonna laugh at this, the fact that this occurred, the fact that you divorced four wives in one shot, you're such a weak man, that you can't hold yourself,
you can't control your anger, Arabs for the rest of eternity, quote, unquote, for the rest of time, so long as Arabs are around, they're gonna laugh at this. Now you don't Arabs have this thing about, you know, their very honor is really important to them. So, when you go and try to mess with an Arabs honor, it can really cause a problem in his, in his mind. So especially those that are really into culture and these old Arabs were and nowadays that things might be a little bit different. So
so she said, Arabs are gonna laugh at you. So he said, Yeah, you think Arabs are gonna laugh at me? Let me laugh at you. He said, he you are also divorced, doting on his wife. He said, You are also divorced if your husband agrees. So the husband was sitting in the house, he was hearing this. And he said, you know what I agree. So he divorced five women now. And this is a true story. he divorced five women now. And then they said that this is a man. This is a story of a man who divorced five women in one minute, though he wasn't only married and is only it's only possible for him to get married to four wives. Now this sounds a little bit funny. Yes, it does. But the reality is that it
shows you the problem of anger. And how when you get angry, if you don't control yourself, you can really get yourself into a lot of problems. Then this guy woke up in the morning, and he had four wives. Everything was good for him. Life was said he might have had money, but he woke up in the evening and he's done. All of this. And he's ended up ended up divorcing four women of his and another woman of somebody else. So this is something that really made shavon angry and all of it started when it all started when he became angry. And that's why the prophet SAW Selim used to always encourage the people like that man came to the provinces and then we said bla bla bla bla bla
bla Don't get angry. Don't get angry. Don't get angry because
Anger doesn't necessarily lead to good things. And even today, we have a similar problem. If you were to look today, and you were to look at what's going on in the world today, you'll see that the world is full of marriage problems. And you'll see that a lot of it is resulting into divorce. And I'm going to read out to you a few statistics.
Just they're extremely horrifying statistics. You know, if you were to look at certain countries in the world today, you'll find that it's got horrifying or they have horrifying statistics for divorce rates, out of 100 marriages in Belgium 59.8, as in nearly 60 marriages end up into divorce. And if you look at Sweden, you've got 53.9 marriages out of 100 marriages, ending up into divorce New Zealand, also 4344 Australia 46. Well, New Zealand more 47 and Australia about 46. So all of these countries that are mentioned in the list goes on and on. And on, that I've mentioned right now, the average out to last 50 divorces, per 100 marriages, the only half of the marriages, ie half of the
marriages are turning into divorce. And a lot of that occurs, my dear brother, because of one reason. And the reason for that is the anger. And I'll tell you something that one of my teachers said it's a very beautiful thing. And I'd like to share this with all of you. And that is the fact that you don't I'm a man, he needs to delete one word from his vocabulary. One word he needs to delete from his vocabulary. So we were saying we asked the teacher what he said, he needs to delete the word divorce or talaq from his vocabulary. Because we're talking about you know, earlier on another video, we spoke about being a man. Okay, so the teacher said, amongst the ways to be a man
is to face the problem. So a man that's extremely weak, he's always ready to resolve to this word. And that ends up into a problem. Now the sisters might be really happy when they hear this older man is the problem and this and that. Now, the reality is sisters, you have a fair share of problems, as well in terms of this aspect. And how so that being my dear sisters, is the fact that a lot of women, a lot of women, and this is true, and I know several examples myself, they actually go to their husband that they want to ruin their own lives, there'll be like, give us divorce, give us divorce, give us divorce, give us divorce. And do you know that if you do this without, and we'll
discuss this in another video separately altogether, but just as a side point? Do you know that a woman asking her husband for divorce without a sound reason is a major sin?
Yes, it's a major sin.
It's a major sin. It will hedger hate me. He mentioned this amongst the major sins. In his book as the larger it's a major sin. And that's why the prophets of the Lord he said when he said a woman that asked a woman rotten, she said, Let whichever woman asks her husband, for divorce without a sound reason. What do you think the profitsystem said, she said that she's not going to smell the scent of gender, because it's a major sin. And there are women out there. And there are and I know of cases myself, where, for example, the wife will keep up the husband all night asking them for a divorce one time, second time again, third, fourth, fifth, and just all night long, the wife has
just continuously asked asking the husband for divorce. And without a sound reason. If she was just to look at the fact that the husband is being so patient through all of this misery that she's putting her through, you know, this would be enough for her to just settle down, there's a lot of good things in your husband's as well. So just the man has to go and delete this word, and get rid of it. Similarly, women, women also have to stop not only asking their husbands for divorce, for no reason, okay, for no good reason, and also causing problems that will lead to a divorce. And that's why when this hadith was, there's another Hadith as well, that almost comes out to me as it had just
translated, it almost comes out to me, that a woman that causes a problem and it causes a ruckus purposely so that it may lead to a divorce. This is also a major sin, according to some of the Anima or at least a sin, to say the least, that a woman you know, doing something going out of her way doing an action that may lead to a divorce. And lastly, I want to say one thing. What we need to do is we need to get the record straight and that is
The fact that a lot of brothers and because you know, in Islam, most of the time a brother is the one that's supposed to be giving the divorce and woman can lead. Ask a colleague, but that's another subject. But in Islam, most of the time that the man is giving a divorce, we have three divorces you can give after which the wife is no longer yours. Unless she gets married again and then you get married after that marriage.
What a lot of men do is they end up seeing the word divorce and they don't think they end up saying the divorce. And along with that, they say it like three times. Okay, and then when it comes to it calamities befehl problem has already happened. Then they start looking for, you know, positions looking for statements of scholars and this and that to somehow justify the fact that the wife is still their wives. Okay, I'm gonna break this to you. Really clearly. The reality of the matter is brothers, the vast majority of the oma would consider that block. Hollis, all three done.
Every single one of those three that you said are done, according to the vast majority of the oma, which includes the Han efia, the molokhia, the shafia yet the Hanna Barbera, which includes some of the bahariya which includes the vast majority of the sub Sahaba companions of the Prophet system, which includes also a large majority of the cabinet as well, which also includes the for the for the for the laws from amongst us, Abdullah Abdullah, Abdullah Abdullah Massoud, all of those who lemma will consider that all those * that you gave are now done.
So when you're about to get yourself into that situation, and you say three times,
you know, retract, think pot, you know, ponder for a moment. First of all, you're going to be doing a sin, because doing it three times is considered sin according to you know, most of the LMR it's considered a sin. So first of all, you're going to be committing a sin. Secondly, you're going to lose a wife. I mean, if you think about it, maybe if you ponder it for a moment, maybe she's really not that bad after all. So think about this carefully. When you're about to do this, you know, bollock, Trinity or divorced Trinity doing it three times, you have to really ponder and realize that the vast majority of them would consider your block a valid block, ie it has now occurred Your
wife is no longer your wife. The only way she can become your wife, if she if she legitimately gets married to somebody else, and then divorces that husband after having had intercourse with that husband, and then you get married to her after that death from the other husband. And if she has a child, she has to wait until she she delivers a child. And without being said I'll stop. And this was the message from your brother Abdul Wahab sitting from here Riyadh, Saudi Arabia. Also Allahu Allah CD now Medina Allah Allah He