Gentleness

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AbdelRahman Murphy

Channel: AbdelRahman Murphy

Episode Notes

This lecture was delivered at the Islamic Society Of Boston Cultural Center (ISBCC)

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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hamdulillah

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Al Hamdulillah De Anza Allah Allah Allah, Allah Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah Allah. Allah Allah Allah, Allah, Allah Allah. Allah Hakuna had all hamdulillah no matter who, you know who and I still fiddle when not rosabella human surely unforeseen women say yeah Dr. Medina, Mayor de la alhama de la la

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la la la, la la la la la la, la sharika. eyeshadow, Anna Mohammed Abu what a solo salvato, la he was said I'm on La, I read the law, by the law was hota Allah Phil kita. Amin, bajo de Bella Humana shaytani, r rajim, la caja de Cana leconfield rasulillah. He also tonhalle Santa lemon con el de la he will occur with Sakura la kathira kobarid.

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One of the challenges that we encounter as human beings is that we develop ideas and notions and beliefs that we believe to be most effective in accomplishing something. And we develop these ideas or these thoughts and these practices based off of our own experiences, our own anecdotes. One idea or example, that has become prevalent

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is the idea. That might is right. And that people have to be tough in order to accomplish something. I was once at a gathering where a lot of young business students were learning from a mentor, there was a mentor who was very successful in business, made a lot of money had a lot of success in his industry. And he was telling the students that in order to get anything done, you have to be mean to people, you have to be tough with people. And I couldn't help but think to myself when I heard him say that he was a Muslim by the way. I couldn't help but think to myself that somehow Allah is this the method that the Prophet Muhammad Sallallahu Sallam used in order to accomplish things? Was his

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awesome was his default, to be tough with people so that he could accomplish what he wanted to accomplish? The answer is no. And this is actually one of the biggest emergencies that we have in our religion, you know, they say, and we teach our, our young people, especially from Sunday school, that Islam is the biggest blessing that we have. And one of the reasons why Islam is the biggest blessing that we any of us could have and hamdulillah is because it teaches us how to view things, how to interpret things. You know, when you have a computer, it makes your life a lot easier because you can plug in data, and it produces an answer for you quickly. Islam is the same way. We have all

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kinds of thoughts and ideas, we need to go ahead and process them through our religion through our relationship with Allah subhanaw taala and through the example of His Prophet Mohammed, Salah Salah. And in that example, we'll find what truly is the best way to live and this is what is wrong with Allah was saying to us in the ayah that is recited when Allah says Lakota can Allah computer Sula, that verily there already is in the Messenger of Allah understand this, this verse has a lot of grammatical nuance. It's very beautiful. Number one is Allah uses the word Cana, which means that it's already happened, it's already done. But let me ask you a question when this verse is being

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revealed, is the Prophet Muhammad SAW something still alive? Yes. So Allah is saying that no matter what the prophet Muhammad SAW Selim does in his life, he's been divinely guided to act in a way where every single thing that he does, is a beautiful example for you. And the word Fie, Allah says, Lakota, Canada look and feel rasulillah in the Messenger of Allah

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sallallahu ala rasulillah, not with him or around him, but in the Messenger of Allah. In Arabic This is known as much as figurative language. It means that every single thing about the Prophet Mohammed Al Salaam, is known as a skeleton Hashanah, a beautiful pattern, a The best example that a person can have. So when any of us in our personal family professional life, think of something, never ever, ever forget that we have to measure it up against what Allah subhanaw taala has said. And the example from the prophetic tradition is a sort of setup. And in that measurement, it's like laying a transparency over something. The only way we'll know if we get it right is if we check it up against

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the example the Prophet Muhammad SAW second. One of these

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topics that I just mentioned, which is might is right, be tough, get things done. And when we measure it up against the example the Prophet Muhammad SAW Selim, we find that this is actually not how he operated on a sort of Salah. We have a narration where he was speaking

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Tada Chateau de la Han Han. By the way, this is one of the beautiful examples of what a relationship can be between a husband and a wife that the Prophet Muhammad SAW said of them. He was teaching his wife is something that was beneficial to not only her but to the rest of humanity. And she taught it to all of us. I

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wrote the love on her, where he says Thai Chateau de la Han. He says yeah Isha in the law, her feet, when will your headboard riff? Oh, Arusha. Allah is the most gentle, the most compassionately, caring and gentle, and he loves it. He loves gentleness, he loves it when people are gentle with each other. This alone brothers and sisters, this statement alone is enough of a reason for us to be gentle with one another. Just the mere fact that Allah is characteristic is raffia, that he is gentle with everything, and that he loves gentleness should be enough of a motivator for us. But then the Prophet Mohammed Sosa then goes on to explain, well, you're on the island with manna you're

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alone. And this is the example that we take that he says Allah gives people things, through their gentleness that they will never ever receive, through harshness, the secret key to unlocking attainment of your goal, whatever goal you have, is not is not being difficult. It's not being harsh, but it's being gentle when you're up to lmsc law. And actually, he completes it by saying, and nothing Allah subhanaw taala gives, except it is upon that meaning that except is upon gentleness. So we learn here something amazing. You know, one of the reasons why people are difficult and why we're tough with each other is because we don't think about the method or the

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process. We only think about the goal. I want to get something so I will act a certain way, no matter what. So I can get that thing you know who else has this methodology children when they pound when kids are pouting. I know all of us love pouting. All of you parents love pouting, right? When your kids have a tantrum, when they're exhibiting that behavior. They're saying, I don't really care how I get it, I just want to get it.

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And this is not from the methodology of Islam. The believer has a personality, where they are just as concerned about how we do something.

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And also how we get something as getting itself. We get the we want the pleasure of Allah. We want to follow the example of the Prophet Mohammed Al Salaam, how do we do it, we do it with things that are less Parramatta loves. We don't do it in ways that we imagine and we think up we do it in ways that are less prone to our loves. So we are as concerned of how we do things as we are about achieving the goal. So the Prophet Muhammad SAW said him said here, you can be tough all you want, you can be harsh all you want, you will not achieve the goal that you want, until you employ gentleness with each other.

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And what's interesting, by the way, is that gentleness and easygoing being easygoing and loving is actually very easy. When times are good. You know, one time there was a story that came out in Chicago after the bulls one there like 900 championship, Mashallah, alright. I'm speaking in Boston, the city of championships, but bear with me in sha Allah, where they asked some heinola, one of the players said, I, we hated all of us hated Michael Jordan.

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We hated it. Right? This is like a statement of Cofer in Chicago, by the way, if you say we hate Michael Jordan, so he said, we hated Michael Jordan. And the reporter said, seriously, you hated Michael Jordan. He said, yeah, we all hated him. He said, But you guys played so well, together. You were so successful. And he said, when you're winning, everyone loves each other.

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Right? When times are good, it's easy to be nice to people. When times are bad. That's when people start to get difficult. That's when people start to get tough. So when we talk about lift, and being gentle, you know, some of us right now we're thinking like, yeah, you know what, when I got that pay raise that day, I got home, I went home to my wife and I was really nice to her. Right? Are when my kids came home with all A's on their report card. I was very gentle with them. But the reality is the true test is, are you and I gentle when our backs are up against the wall? Are we gentle when things are going south? I want to give you a couple of examples of how the Prophet Muhammad SAW

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Selim was gentle when times were tough. You know, Subhan Allah, on the day of the day of the Battle of our head,

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where the believers were, you know, backstabbed and torn by the silent elite, who at the time was not a Muslim or the long run, but he was not a Muslim at the time. He was a General of the Army of Polish when they thought that they had won the battle and then the Polish came back around from behind the mountain and attack them and this led to a couple

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things number one, it led to the injury of the Prophet Mohammed sauce on them.

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Because the Prophet Muhammad SAW Selim, he gave a group of archers specific directions, there was a group of archers and if you know anything about this, you know the strategy. The goal of the archers is to protect you know that the main cavalry from any sneak attack because they have what high ground. So he told these archers you guys stay here and do not come off of this mountain. This is an explicit commit do not come off of this mountain. He said, even if you see birds picking apart our dead bodies, like you think the battle is over helaas don't leave your spot.

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So what ended up happening was during this battle, the Muslims began to actually win the battle. And there were some moments where the cold ice tried to come from behind the archers fired arrows and they went back so the plan was working. The problem was a missile seven, the strategy was working implemented beautifully. What ended up happening when the Muslims started to win and there was noticeable advancing on the Muslim side, there started to be a lot of armor and a lot of money being left in the battlefield.

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Because the Muslims were winning, they're moving forward. And the archer started noticing, hey, there's a lot of wealth down there just sitting. There's a lot of armor, there's a lot of valuable things that we could be collecting, everyone else is gonna get first opportunity. You know, it's like, it's like a buffet line here in Ramadan. Like when if stars served, people will run people want to pray in the back of mclubbe so they can quickly go and eat right. So the archers are sitting and they're saying, look, there's money just sitting there. And their desire for that wealth overcame them and most of them left some of them stayed, but most of them left when the archers left

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that mountain kind of been when he saw it. And he knew he knew that this is our chance this is our time. So they went back around behind the mountain that the mark the archers were on and they snuck and they actually got to the immediate location of the Prophet Mohammed salsa. And of course some of the the soldiers they got and they actually even struck the Prophet Muhammad SAW Salim one of them took his sword struck the Prophet Mohammed still sent him on his head, his helmet, which had some edges right here, cut into his cheeks. It chipped some of his teeth. He was bleeding profusely. This led to the all out chaos. Once the believers realized that they were being attacked now from two

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fronts from two sides. It led to all that chaos. You know what happened? Because the archers didn't listen, you know what happened? the uncle of the Prophet Muhammad SAW Selim Hamza was martyred. One of the closest companions of the Prophet Mohammed Al Salah Musab bin Omar was martyred. A large amount of companions were killed in this battle.

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This is where riff is tested. How did the Prophet Mohammed salsa number respond to the archers? Did he tell them all of you? This is your fault. We're gonna execute you and kill you. No, no, he was gentle with them. After everyone retreated and the battle was over. He didn't excommunicate them. He didn't kick them out. He didn't call them out. He didn't even gather them and say all of this is your fault. He had riff. He had gentleness with people, because as I said, if you were harsh with them, they would turn away from you. You see, we think that being tough with people is the best way to get what we want. But actually, it's not true. being gentle with people is the best way to get

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what we want, even if we are in a state of pain. The Prophet Muhammad SAW seven said or when was the most painful day of my life. He would cry when he thought of losing his uncle Hamza, but he was still gentle with people. Another example of the Prophet Muhammad SAW sedums gentleness, when someone made a mistake was during Fatima Mecca, the conquest of MK Gar, the opening of Mecca when the Prophet Muhammad SAW Salaam was planning this journey with the believers to go to Mecca, and to open the city for all the Muslims. There was a certain Sahabi by the name of Hatton but on the Lahore on who was actually one of the Sahaba who fought in the Battle of bed that and if you know

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about the Battle of bed dead, it was an extremely important battle and every single companion from that battle, Allah subhanho wa Taala gave them an open a blank check it out. He like he said that they're forgiven, because it was such a important moment in the community of the believers, and that there was no person in that battle except that they were sincere. So this Sahabi by the name of Hatem has a family. He at the time is in Medina, his family's in Mecca. He knows that the Prophet Mohammed Salah Salem is planning this journey to open Mecca, and he's concerned, even though he believes obviously in the Prophet Mohammed Al salam, he fought in bed that he's concerned. So he

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writes a letter and he sends a letter to his family. He sends a letter to his family, trying to tell them hey, this is the plan of the Prophet Mohammed Al Salaam. Mecca is about to be opened, be ready. He's trying to let his family know, but this is a huge risk.

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is a massive risk. Because if you're letting them know there's a chance that the rest of the place can find out and the Prophet Muhammad SAW said him is going they could plan a massive counter attack. So Sabrina I said I'm he tells the Prophet Mohammed Al Salaam that this person sent a letter to his family. They go and they retrieve it. I believe he sent to Allie rhodiola Rhonda go and retrieve the letter, and they bring it back and they sit with hats and they said hats and what are you doing, man? What are you doing? You're putting all the entire community at risk by doing this. So Hotham says back to the Prophet Muhammad SAW sentimiento sola, you know that I believe, I fought

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in bed with you, you know that I believe out of school of law. But I have family in Mecca, and I'm worried about them. He noticed the humaneness of the companions. panela their humanity was so real. Ahmad radula. Harun is saying yes to a lot. This is treachery. He's a traitor. He could have sacrificed all of us just by this one letter for his family. We all have family there we all have beloved people there we're all worried about them but we trust haften missing I trust as well but I was just worried. The Prophet Muhammad SAW sent him forgave him and let him go. This is this is gentleness when Armada became confused and said yes, well, why did you let him go? He said yeah all

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about he participated in the Battle of bed that and Allah spawn tada already forgave them for everything. So how can I not forgive who Allah has forgiven?

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me this is, this is gentleness. And he achieved isotopes of them. You know, one of the reasons why so many people were attracted to him was because of this gentleness. SubhanAllah. There's even a story about his enemies, people who hated him, people who wanted to kill him. You know, we're talking so far about believers. Right, we talked about the archers that are heard we talked about hathorne rhodiola. Han. But what about people who hated him? Who wanted him to die? Literally, there's a narration on our show with Isla Harada, where she said that one time there was a group of the, from the tribe of Medina of the Jewish community, a small group of people, and they walked by

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the prophet Mohammed Al, salaam, callooh, Assam or alikum. And this is a little play on words, they were trying to be cute. So instead of saying a set Mr. Aiken, which is the greeting of the believers, they said Assam or Aleykum, which in Arabic means like death and poison be upon you, right. So the Prophet Muhammad SAW them heard this, he said, while equal. All right, whatever you wish on me, I'm gonna wish it back to you. Assemble alikum walaikum Ayesha, and a lot of us know this, when you love somebody and they're being insulted. You become more angry than they do sometimes. Right. So I showed the lavon hat. She said, Why do they come Assam? Right. Well, I know

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Kamala will help you but Polycom may be upon you and the curse of Allah and His anger. Right? So she's getting really upset at this group because why they insulted her husband, the prophet Mohammed sauce, Allah. The Prophet Mohammed says, Listen to this gentleness Subhanallah and this is for somebody that just wished death upon you. Right? He says, Man, Aisha, what is this? He said, I like you better. Make sure you have some gentleness with people will yakka an urn foil foil fascia, and be very careful to be harsh and hurtful with people and difficult with people.

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Like that. She said back to the Prophet Muhammad SAW said to them, I will just smile makalu Did you not hear what they said to you? Right? They just wish death upon you. Did you not hear it? That's why I was responding that way. Listen to his response. LLM test, Mary Mack. Well, did you not listen to what I just said to you? So she's saying yes to a lot. They cursed you. He's saying it doesn't matter. This teaches us a very valuable lesson. gentleness is not conditional. We're not only gentle with those who are gentle with us. You see, this is sometimes how we act. I'll be nice if you're nice. Know the Prophet Mohammed Sal Salaam, was nice to everybody was gentle with everybody. And

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this is what attracted people. This is what attracted people.

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And especially, will conclude with his family. So we talked about believers, we talked about rejecters people who hated him. But what about his family? What did he teach us about gentleness in the home? Because we had this disease as human beings By the way, where we are very, very kind to strangers. We hold the door open for strangers, but when it's our own family, we're like grab the door yourself. Right? Or when it's time to eat we're like oh please, by all means we get a plate for our guests. But for our own family, we're like get your own plate lazy bum, right. But with families of Han Allah the Prophet Mohammed Al sent him said you have to have a special gentleness with them.

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He said either or all the law who has the agenda, Be and he Baten later on? If Allah desires goodness for a family, he said Allah him.

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He gives them gentleness with each other.

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How many relationships brothers and sisters Think for a moment as we conclude, how many relationships in our homes are suffering because we're difficult with one another? How many marriages how many fights, how many arguments how many grudges are built, because there is a lack of gentleness with each other. You want to accomplish something in your

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home, you want your kids to do something, you want your spouse to do something you want your parents, you want anything to happen inside of your home, I challenge you. The next time you feel the Neff cynical desire to be tough, and to say it's my way or the highway, I'm the authority in this house. challenge your neffs and be easy with people and see what law how it gets done. I get on a constant basis. Teenagers coming to me saying that when their family comes home, when their dad comes home or their mom comes home, it's like they sound the alarm. So they'll be sitting enjoying themselves having a nice time. As soon as they hear Bob has cars pulled into the garage, dad's cars

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pull into the garage. They ring the bell, everybody quick, don't have any fun, quick runaway dad's home, we have to make sure we're all doing homework. I had one person tell me that when my mom comes home, my heart rate goes up. Because I'm so scared of the difficulty that's going to happen between us. This is not a way to live. This is not a place where the home should be a place of Sakina. That's why in the Arabic language, the word Sakina and mess Ghana, home and tranquility share a root word because the home should be tranquil. The way that we make our homes tranquil is we have risk and that's a sign that Allah Spano Tata, once cleared for our homes We ask Allah subhanaw taala to

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make us amongst those who are gentle with each other. We ask Allah subhanaw taala to give us this prophetic characteristic of gentleness and we ask Allah subhana wa tada to make it that whenever we try to achieve anything, whenever we want to achieve anything, we think first of how gentleness will be the factor in achieving it and not harshness. I mean, there'll be a lot I mean, subsonic along with La La Land, Mr. Frederick wanted to be like,

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under reliable alameen wa salatu salam O Allah Emanuel MBA will Manasa Nene Cena Mohammed Salah Laura Salim wala early he will be he will be in sunny la Medina allama john lemon home I mean, I just wanted to conclude today's hookah with a moment of risk and a moment of thinking about our brother Joshua May Allah spawn tada be with him and give him in sha Allah she fat common sha Allah complete cure As you may or may not have known brother Joshua is the security guard who protects Mashallah here and more than he protects. He smiles if you ever seen him when you walk into the masjid he greets with a smile he greets with a big Mashallah saddam and he he suffered a very

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serious, I believe is a heart attack. He sewed a very serious heart attack the other day, an aortic aneurisms, Pinilla, and I believe he was rushed to the hospital and he underwent a few procedures. And he's in a scenario right now where he's recovering. But we still pray that Allah Spano Tata give him she felt in Sharla because these situations, as many of you probably know, it can be very delicate. And so please inshallah, if you have the time to send him a message or to visit him that would be the best but if you you know can't find the time right now before you see him then the least we can do is we make the offer and so we asked the lowest price on it to give him Shiva and

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all the believers who are ill we asked Allah Spano Tata to give them she thought we asked last contacted to make it easy upon them and their families and we asked Allah subhanaw taala to uplift and relieve them from their financial burden, as we know that for a lot of families in this country, even healthcare which should not be a financial burden for people is a financial burden. We ask a lot smarter to make things easy. In the lotto Monica who you saw Luna Allah nebby Yeah, you will levina Amano Sol de la he was a limitus Nima alongside Allah Muhammad Rasul Allah Muhammad came out so late Allah Rahim Allah Allah Ibrahim al amin in NECA Hamid Majeed Allahumma barik ala Muhammad

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Allah Allah Muhammad come about Okta, Allah Ibrahim Ibrahim al amin in Armenia Majeed in the La Jolla motivated son ej the quarterback williamtown in Russia and Mongolia above it. You're either come to Allah come to the Quran, okay, masala