Channel: Zoubir Bouchikhi
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a lot of money in America.
A lot of
our Hong Kong come out of bonuses
In the Name of Allah the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful, there is no God but Allah and Mohammed Salah, Sallam is his last and final messenger
may all the peace and blessings be upon Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam his family members, his followers
May Allah forgive us will not forgive our parents, spouses and children and May Allah forgive anyone who taught us something good.
Let's start with your questions. anyone has questions? Before we go through inshallah our subject today?
anyone has a question please?
How many days left for Ramadan? Welcome, sister. How many days left?
95 days. So Ramadan is very near. So start talking about Ramadan.
Start talking about Ramadan to yourself to your children to your loved ones. So that one girl comes. We don't start working on them and we start reaping the fruits.
Our own Sally used to say our agenda is the month of
tilting the land. Shaban is the month of
watering the plants and Ramadan is the month of reaping the fruits. Most of us forget the anti Ramana that's where sometimes we took as we take us a week or two to just start warming up no project is very near then after that Shannon.
So we need to inshallah start talking about Ramadan at least to our children
and to ourselves by
any question please. anyone has
any question? Don't have questions.
They still have many questions too when
we have a lot but yeah, when you
Today inshallah, we will cover
something very interesting when it comes to media find the page when it comes to Muslim family, since
the Muslim family is where the problem is, if we fix the Muslim family, we make so much of our
own money Islamic oma is a group of societies.
And those societies are made of families and the family is made of individual
this individual will marry one day and become husband and wife, spouse.
But do you realize that your children also give you something when your children are born you are born to
do you realize that or not?
Okay, listen to him. A man and a woman get married right? Can we call them parents? No, they are only
but what what you said children,
their parents would respond to. So when it's because of the child of a life giving you that you became somebody else, you are a normal single individual, that you became married husband and wife. Then when our children you are born to as well as another person
then you are born one more time when Allah gives you can children become grandfather and grandmother. You forget you are you actually in birth, then you die. Then you go back to our senior
even your teachers cannot help you.
So what to do, should never in every person what gives you you should never forget
from the day of what gave you birth and you are single, last confused, don't even know where you are. Then Allah guides you looks after you
To become strong, you get married. That's your first second birth. Now I'm no more individual I am my husband and wife. Good. Then after that I am father or mother.
And then you go back to a way to get eternal turns to us Singh
Kham single repo vaccine.
So well why Have mercy on us?
good afternoon or salatu salam en su de vamos
a la Mashable, Anna Islam, what the NA, et very soon as the halal Anna Sayidina Muhammad Ali Salatu was the
the issue of marriage, my sisters and brothers, it's a very serious issue. And we need to talk about it not because you are married or not married, by the way, even if you're not married. Now let's say you're divorced or widow or widower.
This this issue touches you, your children when they get married, your grandkids, so you better have that knowledge to give it to them.
So don't say I'm not married, so it doesn't interest me in the courtroom
decides to give you
to give your spouse let me say, oh, let's go back to those lectures.
There is a knowledge you must have.
Even if you don't
practice that knowledge, one day, I was teaching.
I was teaching the before
dry ablution. And some brothers in America, they thought they don't need that knowledge. They admitted to me later on. when Hurricane Katrina you remember 2005? It's Louisiana. so bad.
I mean, so because they were stranded there, although there is plenty of water, but you cannot use the water. Why? Because the water is contaminated.
So they went on their ceilings, on top of the ceiling, waiting for rescue for helicopters to come. And he said, Chef, I remember all what you were saying. And I realize that how fooled I was because at that moment, I sort of
got used to teach and we thought, What is this?
Look, you are surrounded by water, but you cannot touch because what is infested bodies, human bodies, is filthy sewer
crocodiles, you go down to make a property.
Now what to do?
So you realize, Oh, my God actually good for you.
Not just because what gives us a chance to learn and we think oh, this is why
we don't need this. You don't need this. So this issue of marriage is very important since our series of lectures are called Islamic family. And I admit that the Muslim family is not released strong. Why? Because the individual is not strong. Those who get married are not strong. Male and female. They're not strong enough. Not in finance, not invasive. Oh, no, no, they're okay. In email. And when they get married, most of us get married for what?
Because it's the right thing to do no more than that.
It's a bad it's a worship, you need to assure him, man, you have to go short with Allah.
So it's not just so that we have a family more than Okay, if Allah decides not to give you family, children, then
it's because it's the right thing to do is to please Allah is to help a person stay away from Xena.
It's to have children is to raise good Muslim community is to solve so many things.
So who has a question about this subject before I start, maybe the question will trigger a better discussion
about this issue I'm talking about
did you realize that
majority of people
look what what happens to that this is a mistake I mentioned this a couple of days ago to some sisters in class of sisters is that the husband and the wife, when they get together, they forget that they have responsibility to online.
She says, How can I please him? And the husband says, How can I please her? How can I be a good husband? No, wait a minute, the pleasing of husband and wife lies first in the pleasure of the one game to the husband.
Allah. So the first thing, our responsibilities to Allah first, then to the spouse, then to the children if they can.
This is where we mess up. Because we forget him and his first.
Many of us in the marriage, they forget that they have right to Allah, for example, what pleases Allah first, for example, my wife is asking me to do something, but it's so hot right?
Most of you will run to your wives.
Because head will break loose later on.
No, you go please. Aleppo stays solid, solid to
do whatever she asked me to
know, your children.
duty to apply supersedes any duty to community such as education.
So I wake up my kids for certain pleasure, and therefore they can't go to school.
But if I wake up only for school, Saturday, Sunday,
no salad. So they woke up for Salah actually, because of sport. Now the other one.
That's what we are.
That's why some of you sisters hate your parents in law. You cannot turn them.
You want the husband? You want the wife?
But you don't want the mother of that husband or the mother of that wife.
But she had no they do terrible things. I understand that.
I know that.
so sometimes to take a flower, you have to bear the king of the songs.
What comes with a flower, sometimes it's on what can you do.
Because if we do the management of those things, will not kill us. The pain will not
There will be problems, of course, but
They will not take all your attention and make and make you full of stress.
I'm saying this because I know many of us, especially the youth who have not yet married, they have to understand this.
And maybe that's only your only gender. You're in loss.
You're so soft.
And they were really nasty, some of them. But that's your agenda. What can I do?
If I showed you another child who says I don't care, when he shows you amputation of a leg?
Cancer is okay. I'd rather stay with my father in
Because you can't
or extreme poverty or whatever, whatever.
So sabarmati sisters and brothers and understand that marriage is not fun. Married is an institution and in data,
data. In data you have to have somebody
in order to pray on time every day you need some federal on time, Southern blot of patients. Ramadan 30 days of fasting a better had someone push you is being disrespectful. What can you do? You want to reply and be like him, go ahead, lose your heart.
Does that get not easy to give? 2.5% because sometimes what happens is a lot but you forget that it's a lot because of a huge selection.
To give to give 2.5 million.
It means you have
if your Zakat is 2.5 million ringgit it means you have 100 million Mashallah, before we get that
I want one question before I go on.
the subject of family
and we start with
the fifth of
Mita Nisa was
reform in Surah four, verse three, Allah azza wa jal comments as to marry. So marriage is his command online.
But it depends
on your situation, for example, if you are afraid of fitness, and have the ability to start a family, marriage now is not optional is well.
Again, what what you
for example, a young man has a job,
or he doesn't have job, but his father can help him.
And he's afraid to fall into fitna, he must mean it becomes wedging.
And the Buddha said, in this case, since there is fear of it now, let's face it, women, maybe you work in a place where there are so many women and all women are after you and this and that, in this case, you must marry and embrace it even.
Okay, Is this clear? To some people? It's hard to make?
Why? You know, you have
you are extremely bored. You can't even feed yourself, let alone sister, Fatima
whatever your wife
and you have a disease and that disease is infectious. Then you can
Let's say you have these aids, God forbid you didn't commit Zina, you got it from transfusion of blood? In this case, no. Because you're gonna infect a sister and children
and you exacerbates the problem.
Or you have a sexually deficiency
you know yourself.
Certain men can't. So better not not as a sister as divorce from you.
is called a Nein Nein is the man who cannot perform sexually. So He better not at all, because part of marriage is sexual intercourse, that does not take a woman just to look at it
is this layer
then that is good to have highly recommended.
And then there is more back. So the general rule is
back, but thank you very second, there is nothing good except that.
And we are very well. So you're lucky.
So this is about the importance of marriage. why I'm saying this and why Allah should speak about this. Because today there are many men who don't want to marry.
And don't try even
know, every Muslim should try to manage
to try to get married, and the sooner the better. One because Allah azza wa jal will reward you for that.
A lot of soldiers will reward you for being a married man or woman. So lots lots and lots of Allah
don't meet the last thing go.
don't meet our Law Center. Try to remarry, even when the marriage breaks or death or whatever.
this marriage that you are about to do, or you are in already, is it too late to renew my intention if I if I married for now?
And I told you never fall in love?
Many but don't fall in love because when you fall you hurt
Yes. And I told you the real love comes after marriage.
The real love comes after marriage. So don't don't try to know someone before marriage. It's not going to happen. Whatever you want to know, the most 99% fake
as many people
were dreaming of
They got married, they woke up to a nightmare.
quality concern so I want my brothers and sisters to lower your expectations so that when you see the reality of marriage of your partner who is husband and wife
never thought you were married, let's say to
him or her.
It was a normal human being like you
to strengthen you and make you better. And this is why when you marry someone is that he or she reminds you of sound that wakes you up. That reminds you of Ramadan, prepares your Sappho
not just a woman, but even the men.
You see what I did? Do Amara together, become your
traveled with you.
This is why we and then the children, Allah will give them and I told you when Allah gives you children, he gives you something as well. I give you Parenthood, you will not father or mother because of that child, that child also gives you something
the son or daughter gives you something What is it we can find the father son to do what he got.
So children also give that give their parents something during the
birth of the child gives you a new status.
You are husband and wife who became father mother.
So this marriage, we need to be very careful what we marry for.
No, you may marry and get no reward. And you may very indebted when
you get married.
Because you made it for yourself.
And you may marry and get married for our sake.
Please careful to marry rich people.
You You You You, not you.
You ladies, if you ask a woman who he wants met money, okay, I tell a woman there was a young girl who her father told her my daughter. You should marry someone rich. Or someone very famous. Or someone very handsome, or who likes beauty. He likes beauty.
She said know that.
I'd rather marry a poor person. He said Why?
She says average man
has a lot of money. So he made
before Richmond, the man who loves beauty. Today he looks at my beauty tomorrow he sees someone more beautiful than me.
His criteria is beauty. He saw somebody more beautiful than your sister. What happens by you become second? He goes to that one because she's more beautiful than
he is. So
He will look down at you.
Like sympathy to you. I brought you from no no beggar.
And he has a lot of money.
His Money makes him think about another. Women will be after his money. Let's say he is not a man of women. But some women don't care. She wants to be second.
And even copy by no problem. Just give me money.
This is true. If it's not in you, it's in other women.
Just ask them.
Then she asked. But he asked her why
she said that, because when he's bored, he will be stuck to me.
So a happy woman is not the woman who looks forward to where she looks for a person of her level.
And when they grow up in wealth, he will never forget that she she is part of him. I mean, she had to deal with this.
So I'm not saying don't marry rich women or rich men. I'm saying do not look for that.
Because when I want to take something away from the marriage, then what system you will find straightaway, because you've
got to set up one as he said men should look for a woman. There are four reasons for men to marry a woman for reasons of beauty. And well have status and her religion.
These are there are no other reason. Think about it. Is there anything else
a man when he wants to
marry a woman. He wants a beauty. She's beautiful. Or he's after her mother, he knows that he or she is, you know, from a big family, in the lab, or religion, but also take the one who is religious, you'll be safe, you're medically safe, you'll be happy.
For men, these two things, not only one, but also
for men just because he prays or he's always in a mystery.
That doesn't make him a good husband. necessarily. Look at how he deals with others. So we need more evidence. So his religiosity good must must does he pray? Does he go to demonstrate is he respectful? Is he fasting from the left is deenis Okay, but what else is mama? Look at him when he says
look at him how he deals with his parents.
Is his mother very important to him? Because any man who is not taking care of his mom will never take care of yourself. You're not the woman who gave birth
so don't give your daughters to someone who is not good to Islam.
Now number one, no blessings at all. Allowing them to bless that man.
So these things have us to focus and narrow the good things so that we target
now those who are already married
both husband and wife attending classes like this you will have them have downgrade because Don't say no I have to remain silent.
so you just fix your marriage.
And that's it. So I will use if we see that struggling for example, I see myself traveling in in his marriage, it means he's struggling It is
really and you can see this one one of the editor has become more religious.
This happens a lot to sisters who Mashallah return to Allah when the husband doesn't agree.
But when there is effort from both, it will work.
Okay, so this marriage first Alinea is to please Allah azza wa jal is to follow the Sunnah of Rasulullah Salah is to help another Muslim not to commit Haram. Meaning that's why you may need to protect yourself for a parent, to have a family to raise them according to Islam, to bring to
two families together to unite two families, your family and her family.
So, one action multiple Nia much multiple intentions.
So much, you did only one thing you got married, but you have all these in mind.
I must have Allah will give you so much.
So, that's why before you get married, which something very good they do in Malaysia in all massages they teach people which is good
maybe weekend or two weekends minimum is fine. Very good. Something I really highly recommend that people before they get they go to mastery they study
yeah courses is gone.
What are my rights What are my duties as husband as wife What should I do this and
this is very recommended and that should is called pre marital counseling.
This marriage also
Allah subhana wa tada
performed it himself between Adam and Eve. Marriage is the second most important portrait on Earth.
After he met
he met his faith
Faith in online is the first
is the only is the only way a male and a female can come together. There is no other way. However,
boyfriend and girlfriend
a male and female are held on to each other, they become halab
through this institution
at this institution as its laws
a good man doesn't talk to the woman he goes straight to her father or my
sister. If your future husband doesn't talk to you and go straight to your father mother is a very very good person. Why
is a very good person?
Why do you why he's a good person?
But if he speaks to me, I'm not going to eat him this okay? No, this man respected you so much and respect that you are the daughter of someone. So he asked about you and want
to know why. He surprised me.
When he surprised you with the rain, you're happy when he surprise you by talking to your father first.
So good boy will not talk to the girl first. He will go to your father
and not even to your mother.
If she has a father he goes too far. She's the daughter of someone
and then talk to him with his family if he has family with his family if not, he takes you backwards
but you don't take on the answers always take somebody or who knows you wise
especially in this culture in the Malays
they don't want kids to come talk to them about the marriage they want someone because they feel comfortable
let the person talk on your behalf
if they accept and move to the second step which is let him come we see the family
and you lady Don't be surprised
that there is someone interested in you What do you think you're
the beauty and the beast and you
know you want to know someone you want to play that drama? No
other ra Stella was wondering our Creator taught him from him a woman and he said you see that woman? He said yeah he said Jesus
did you say no let me know
let's say and
she said no. I would like to know him first.
You know each other after
when you work with people do not at first I cannot work with him at all I know him so you take every colleague at work
but with time you stop going
till you just parachute on someone he didn't say that. And said if you want to know someone there is a way What is it?
I call it Hello? What is it? Number one parents no second in front of us that we are sitting here you are there in our knowledge. The point of girls who are already the boy interested or the girl and then they're talking to each other to know a little bit
of law? Not really likely No no, no. What's your what's your concept of marriage?
concept of marriage. It is a philosophical question that we had my brother also asked us to
what what what do you think a Muslim family is?
Why did you choose me?
Never set to own your beauty.
A wise woman will hate you for that.
Thank you very much.
Meaning if you like if I was a woman and someone tells me I like you for your beauty. I will not like him. Why?
I think totally different than you are not
I saw that Mashallah. You are a good sister.
And I always asked a lot to do things like this time.
What do you want?
Do you like in the studio? What type of sports okay
later on when you
have no problem that may
before covering yourself
and I was thinking to take you to Palestine.
Look like that people can
So this is how
we make some kind of attraction,
attraction. They move to the new one. If they accept if the girl says, I like this boy and he says I'd like to
add some nice to eat something together.
They eat something while the bandits are sitting there, the boy and the girl may eat something together while the hikma he might not like the way she eats, she might not like the way he eats. He makes so much noise.
Some have a lot. When a man man wants to marry a woman he can see how
she can remove
only to him. If his brother is coming. No, let's say his brother is coming with him. No.
Why there should be an attraction?
mean she doesn't have.
Many of us don't know this. It's hard for a woman to reveal her hair except when someone wants to marry her. She can
uncover but that's
not if the marriage happens. If it doesn't happen, the man has no right to say how does your hand look
beautiful or not beautiful.
He cannot talk to his friends
This is Sue now.
We need to revive that's why these things must happen indoor outdoor in the family.
And we should cap the family of the boy should go to the family or not the other way.
We should never accept that. Your daughter takes you to see her future husband know when they marry and finish everything visit each other No problem.
But the sooner is that the man goes to the woman
and asked her
and give him something we will talk about the conditions of management.
So this is the tsunami
in manage and all the Sahaba manage like this all the Sahaba after Rasul Allah told them, they did this.
And it was so simple. And I want to my sisters and brothers about making it too long between fiance and marriage don't make it long.
No more than two, three months, three months is already too much. You know how many people called off their marriage because they knew it there was nothing left to know about you.
I already know how you think how you get upset when there
is nothing left to know.
I just have the five years, five years together right before the marriage.
What is this?
That is how so when a man for example, asked to hand off a system
to three months later they have too many.
So parents make it easy for your kid
to protect them and so that also they don't shake that doesn't play them even when they are engaged.
Now they become sons and daughters
come visit us.
This is the Sunnah of Rasulullah Salatu was that
it was also hisoka to make the dowry very low.
Do not ask too much. Your children are priceless. My brothers and sisters. But let's say you have a daughter. What do you think? If you make it difficult on your future son in law, and let's say he can afford?
Is that the value of your daughter?
That's all she is 1200 1 million billion. That's all it is.
And this is psychologically what made the Marriage
The women who asked less Dolly will have the more blessed marriage.
The most blessed marriage is when the people make it easy for the young man who is going to marry. You don't ask too much.
What if Allah gives you the generosity away? Later on, let's say you are a student now, later on Mashallah start working.
And if Allah has given you, let's say, her father asked for 1000 in English,
and you have defined
because it comes from you, it's not the fact that they asked you to do.
And one thing sisters, I knew, I counseled many, many people in my life, one of the most abuses men do to women is because of the doubt. Because the man feels he bought you.
Your father shows him showed him no mercy, when you have to give this or otherwise, so he feels compelled. So in fact, like he was
not he was like, like he did him a favor.
That's why in Southeast Asia I'm really amazed at Mashallah reward you sisters or brothers? For not asking too much.
And like some Muslim countries with the Dow Theory is like, you go to the moon and come back is cheaper than
they turn off people. That's why there are many sisters that a new ad not medical bridge cannot marry. Because the parents say, and the culture you know, the patient culture is like, You are too cheap to be married for this. So there's so much now many women without marriage, getting old 30s 40s 50s not bad.
money they have.
And it's not a problem. It's a problem with their family.
Father says we are with this.
So this is Jackie Leah, we need to fight it.
We need to find
the most beloved human being to us, all of us. I said that was his daughter Fatima. We are lucky to have you know how much he asked
many nathwani probably a lot.
He asked me what do you have? He said yes. I have bought
an item in the ring of Ireland not even the silver and skin of her she gotta have a good
sister systems for
a scale or such as what we consider today.
Ring of Ireland to put as a scientific method that said, this is the most beloved woman to Rosado aside from his own daughter.
He knows she would be happy with this man. He's a real man. He knows. He raised him.
He knows this boy doesn't have money, but he has all the love.
He's a man he will stand up
so that we sign the signature of our daughters and happiness.
To be happy.
doesn't even know what is today.
What is today? I think it's Monday.
Games. He's always with games.
In some parts of Algeria, just to tell you if you don't know how to slaughter and skin off the sheep you can never make
first test, you go to see your father in law future.
Meaning you cannot even feed my daughter and my castle by you want to marry her?
How many of you hear this someone coming to ask you to help your daughter or sister? And then you hear someone asking you, okay? When you select a treasure
automatically we'll say six step six step.
In which message do you play? I don't ask you about do you play or not?
You don't talk to you. In which question does the man know?
You make your shoes out.
And the father he knows it.
So you should have what?
You don't even know at what time Salah decision is you want me to give you my daughter?
Things like this. You will say things. Ask him when he started.
What type of question in Which ones did you pray?
These are what what we should be asking in any interview of or getting married or something. Same thing for the sister. Maybe she's wearing Hijab just
captured Alicia Webb.
She doesn't believe in it.
Why do you wear says the procedure? Because
the system knows.
And then the other one is what Costco, Costco
some delays they were not because it's a religious conviction is
the name so I waited? No.
You have to wait and you know why you went? Because Allah commanded you to cover everything except your face and hands when you go out of the house.
out of the house, you cover everything except face and hands inside your house where
you feel comfortable.
And I will ask you, my friends about your wives and daughters.
One of the questions I would ask them after in the game, did you tell your wife to wear a jacket or not? Your daughter's A lot of us
because you can get so mad at them for something else. What my time for,
for school, but for obeying Alaska men and sisters, whatever you show from your body will be touched by fire. I sweat on
how the software is licensed. Anything a woman shows outside her face will be touched by fire. Gentlemen, let's say a woman shows her hands.
I told you that this is not a joke. He joke is not a joke. Let people say whatever they want. Don't get confused.
You will understand. So I accept 33 and so on. No.
It's not. It's not a joke.
And not only Muslim women are commanded to they
say, say that Mariana
is the mother of Jesus peace be upon how does she look in any church?
because it was the right to dress of any woman.
Christian, pious Christian women. They cover Jewish pious women, orthodox they also cover so it's not any woman do that all the time.
Adam and Eve are a monster, how to show them that he's angry with them. When they 843 What happened to them?
It means I'm angry. So it's a form of anger for like if a woman is not covered.
And the more she reveals the more
why it wasn't
Another side why not enter say, hey Alexandria to you ate from the tree.
His cloth dropped her cloth dropped off. What happened? We see, that was that was the code between a Landon. So women who do not dress properly, they are actually encouraging their sisters care for each other.
And you will read it anyways it's what it's called.
But it doesn't count, you will enter your grave with it. Remember what we covered even men and women's?
Think about it.
Why just we don't bury you like that?
Why? Why waste growth, even in death?
Because you're going back to Allah.
But Allah wants you to want to see your company in Korea, before you can that you are forced to become.
So this management, the sisters and brothers is a big nearmap that no one should say no.
And ask for the best and don't stop. Don't think of it. I think I will never get married. Never say never,
never say never FOMO so that's
what it is with her. She was in her 60s when she got married when
she was older than she was the best friend of Fallujah.
Don't worry, just keep making dua to Allah and make me feel Allah,
And good news. Any sister who doesn't get married in this dunya
is sort of set up said she would be married in an era to either a profit or one of the most heroes of this
But you feel like you never tried in order to play games.
House, you wait make
a new brother. Don't look for
I don't know how to lower your expectations.
When your expectations that might not be hard to myself or to all of your child.
Any questions so far?
Now when the man marries a woman, please understand you are not just marrying that person, he or she you are marrying the family.
And that your spouse when he or she many do. That doesn't mean they have no relationship anymore with their families.
When you marry someone doesn't mean you've cut him off from his or her family. So, so not off to him.
If her mother is sick, she doesn't have to tell you. Please
stay with my mother. You should be smart enough said please stand with your mother
so that she does not feel like he's neglecting
and vice versa. When your mother in law is sick Sister, don't wait until your husband says let's go.
And she is never your
she's never your competitor.
She loved him before he's outside.
And when the father of your
wife wants you to stay with him, don't be jealous.
who raised her and made her your wife
to be angry or jealous if you find your wife talking to another man who's not her brother or something Why?
Which is mostly by now the most.
One reason for divorce is that the man fight is by the way, sister. Why do you have to train with a man explain that to me? Why your trainer is a man
while training the first place
Why do you train for training training?
She goes straight into the men that's already
One sister was telling me that.
That's the problem already. Even if your husband doesn't see that is hard. I'm already wrong. If you have to train if you have to train I don't know why you train because you're going to liberate Palestine
Let's say Marshall Miko special the body dark woman,
and you talk
when you train while you train with women
and then you start saying
is the training to go to the Olympics.
don't have in your house, you have a treadmill
because no no man look at you. When a man look at
any woman who goes out of her house
creates fitna the curse of
any woman who goes out of her house and she creates some kind of fitna to men men start looking at her body or her about once you start jogging that spreadsheet and I don't know what can you do? t rose and in the house you can even carry
I've gotten to your
to three hours in the gym is covered
than 20 kilos when it comes to just 500 pounds of rice to cook.
This is the problem of the month. We are not serious with Alaska.
And we think medicine is just you know sexual intercourse and that's it
many diseases, responsibility, melodies, kindness, you cannot even smile in the face of your wife. What do you think you are
not going to have
somebody start to set up set, there are four, four
conditions for marriage. If one of them is missing, the marriage is done avoid. Number one is that
there should be proposal and acceptance and usually it's the management
system. wait for someone to propose to you. You're not that cheap.
You're not cheap.
By coming to your family and asking the hands, that's the best not to you.
And even if he comes to you say I have a father or I have an uncle or I have I have a brother I
see my family. Number two, that should be a wedding. No woman marries without wedding. What he is a form of spokesman, protector. Guardian. That's all system. Even if you are 60 years old, you should have a wedding.
And by the way your son can be your wedding. Let's say
we are divorcing your son his life. He should represent you.
No problem as he should bury
your son to bed his mother,
husband and son go down with the immigration men bury their mother and wife.
as one is too emotional, it's okay.
But the sooner is that? So if a woman let's say she's divorced he or she is
we don't have son if he is alive and mature enough
but why do women want
A woman cannot, even if he is prime minister,
no keystart Minister but someone wants to marry her she has to avoid is the law.
It doesn't make it makes sense. You are You are not prime minister of your husband, by the way.
Let's say you are prime minister and your husband is you cannot rule over him at our home. He rules over you, you take advantage from him in public life.
But private life he he, the last word is is
which is difficult, because we mix between them. So, a woman should be represented why Allah knows us better than we know ourselves. When a man talks to a man
is not like a man talking to a woman.
When he's talking to a man, he has more respect to determine that if he talks to her
because simply he is biased, he wants her but he is there is your son or her father or her shape or someone representing them. Tomorrow if there is misunderstanding you go back to the worries.
You already have a problem with her. How can you talk to her? So you go to the wedding.
Three, there should be
a man gives down to the woman
and this has nothing to do with exchanging gifts.
And by the way, there should be stopped watching gifts are not working.
Don't confuse Hunton with
doubt he is what the man has to give to his wife as a symbol of what of financial responsibility. I will look after your sister or my life at
That's a it's a prototype.
That's why even if it's the rain of Ireland
a hug. He was about to marry another Sahaba he said give her even a ring of iron give her something there must be something
to show that I will look after you financially I will look after your sister and deliver financially I am responsible for you. It's not the other way. Now if they want to accept certain gifts, actually it should be between them.
What is a gift want to give it to you in front of everybody? I expose you I will embarrass you with that.
See what I mean? So you the Malays identify the winnings
and she has to put
that's a form of show off
you shouldn't do that.
But the value should be known especially to hope to the to which is number four to Muslim witnesses to Muslim males witnesses these witnesses you bring them from the machine not from the bar
go to the machine a you find two good Mustangs. Please come witness manage
anyone who calls himself a Muslim from anywhere No.
Yeah, but what
was uncle? Uncle?
How's that? Yes. Whoo. Yes. But not even when it was good. But he's Catholic. So what I
get for the Muslim only by culture, the mind
completely No, sorry. You're my uncle. And I like to ask my uncle. But I called another uncle who is always in industry for example, family members
and preferably young. Why don't
you you know, where are we going
to marry our sister
because he has to sign so tomorrow when there is a dispute
go to the masala
Yes, yes, it is open, open.
When can be used?
there is a big problem between husband and wife and they cannot talk to each other. We believe what he had came from him when it came from her.
That is the fourth and the last step of fighting. We're coming to them. Wait.
I'm coming to you just remember what I had. Yes.
Yes, coming. Come. Moscato
someone is parking.
Lots. Okay, so
I was rushing.
Maybe someone is someone coming? Someone coming to play so many VIP? VIP.
But I don't like these guys, these guys are doing their job. I will never get upset with these guys. Honestly, even when they don't they know it doesn't make sense.
A luggages agenda to fit those. But please never block exists on
What are the four conditions of marriage? If one of them is missing? The marriage is not on point. Number one.
what do you got? You
have the feeling? number three?
Who gives the
man India is the woman with
the higher education the more money you get. So I think all men should go to India.
What is that?
Yeah. Not all but big number. Yes. Because
if they practice Islam, they wouldn't do that.
Well, they don't give. But there is another thing India cannot very error.
is the another problem. Father will not allow?
But we are not saying that is the right thing.
The problem is deeper than what you think. That's why we need to follow Islam and not the culture. Because the culture is not necessarily Islamic.
Where is it in Islam that you have to put rice on the hand of your
to the battlefield, not on the poor.
They are going to be husbands
to drink, I give the boy and the girl to drink but not on their
lessons. Like also
you make flowers
and you put them into something needs to be done not to put on the board.
If that person didn't do well put all the water on them he will burn in hell in the beginning.
You ever seen there is nothing called IOC.
There is nothing called IOC water.
There is to read it and try to understand the meaning and practice. Are you the ASEAN coffee? Yes.
So if I put water and coffee and I need both of them we come
in Malaysia in Indonesia, not a lot of them. Why? Because we got away from
what are we doing Sunday? Study What?
What? Because we lack it in our real life.
Imagine our children when we send them earlier especially the first hour 730 to 830 Adama is left or unhappy or they come home very den signs.
The English Monday
physics, chemistry for example, Mashallah started with
fresh mind. They just had breakfast
First, first our format, okay, normally we have no problem
the child is out of his energy is just looking as his watch to go.
So you see how we got we said we have Islamic
Before I answer that question, no, here is when the nikka fan. Oh,
what he had in his before?
Okay. All right, maybe in your culture but let me talk about that person. Well he must be Hakeem
must be wise man. That's why we call him what do you
what do you mean in the world he cannot be the
craziest person in the family
he would call off the marriage just because you know, you should be waiting. And he knows what to say to the boy helping the boy boys trembling, shivering. Like we have seen on YouTube. He repeated something else. I don't
think it is okay, though. The condition of the Oh my God.
When Algeria calls me I panic. You know why?
But maybe they want to just say no, twice. They called me for my mother.
You know, they don't call when they call that one mother.
no, no, no, no. If I said I want to teach you. Okay. What I imagine is not really somewhere else. So
that's why sometimes I don't want to be near me.
And when I don't reply to your sisters, it means I am teaching. You have to understand this and brothers when you call? And I don't answer it means
you think I'm like you by form always in my hand. That mean?
So, the condition of the hacking or the welding is to be wise. Number one woman feel a lot. And he has to be wise, because he needs to know what to say to the boy, we are giving you our daughter. I hope you treat her like princess.
If you treat her well, a lot will look after you and her things like that. So the man is like martial law.
There is the other one which is called hacking. Hacking is when there is a problem between husband and wife and they really cannot. So they tried three steps of solving the problem which I'm not going to say. Number one, he advises her if she is wrong, if the problem is from the woman sometimes when something wrong happens to women, I don't know why but you know, right, that there's
So the news is from the woman, when the when the woman makes problems, the husband should advise her first remind her to
make have enough. That's why it's so easy to make. When you marry a religious woman. There is common theme that you remind her she has no background How can you even remind her teacher from
from scratch? No. So the woman is a remember a lot of those who obey Him.
So she had understand.
Imagine you just didn't even know what the standardized
Second, if after a few days of reminding, she still is is obedient and she's facing troubles, then you do not sleep here.
You stay away from her in bed in bed, but not outside the house.
You don't go for example, to your mother's house. Most men do that once they clash with their wives. He goes to his mom's house. No you stay in your house.
But don't sleep.
You have in the same room, go to another room.
If this doesn't turn have down from her rebellion.
Then spank her with what was I see what do you
it was, I was in my hand, maybe just when I left, I brought
no more than this on her hand. antis
just to tell her Listen, this is going to turn out I'm really upset. And we are in Step three, but never to the face, how to leave a bruise or shake what she's
telling you brothers, there are some violence brothers, how to touch a woman.
So this is a reminder that listen, sister, I'm about to end the relationship after this, recording Wiseman from her family, and why is that from his family?
Because her own husband tried three things with her. It didn't work.
And this is innovation and dignity for women.
For women, okay, sister, since you are not listening, we're gonna give you a chance number four, meaning we try to solve the problem from outside the circle vicious circle. So we got to help let's say father, or someone who is wise.
And we call from the same the same from the family from the boy side talk so what's the problem? Our son is saying this is what he's doing. Then she says
our daughter is you know, legitimate whatever and then they will they will find out solution. If after this doesn't work, then they just proceed to divorce
this is Islam.
We are not like Catholics lying like
Infosys prohibited in our religion you know divorce for the Catholics. Is this something bad if you don't
in Islam, when it becomes impossible for men and women to live together?
and it's haram to speak bad about the other person
most people when they divorce each one will try to speak bad about the other one no
because a still your brother in Islam she is your sister
So speak nice are saying I don't know why it was because she never played
No. So please sisters, if you ever did was God
don't say nothing about others because he or she still
don't say something then.
So the weather you must be wise
and no sister. Under no circumstance should accept the marriage without without
hamdulillah This is very clear in Malaysia.
Even the rebirth system wants to marry a Muslim brother.
Like it happened to me a lot in Malaysia.
I always asked one of the brothers to be have wedding or
before she met is another person. So that that person always Oh my God. What? What is better? So we need and we tell our sister? These are your rights and duties.
And some of them left good life. Well
Yes. So must put them in the right palette with the right people.
The marriage ceremony, you have
a couple. So when the when the father says that, you know we have this love for us? Yes. The groom has to sit super perfectly. He's a nervous guy. Yes.
Then he tells him instead of you say I would like to marry your daughter. He says I would like to marry you
know, it should not have been it should. It's like
is a repeat after me.
In Arabic and I make it word by word. So we do mean
your daughter, either Allah kitabi kitabi
upon the book of Allah wahda soon as soon as
the brother is shivering, and the man
Why do we
even know Arabic?
He feels good. Yeah, he did very well.
He's in lacks now.
He just, he's an American kid who became Muslim. He's getting married. See what I mean? Make it easy on him.
That I say what you said is allow me allow me to manage to marry your daughter, your daughter upon the Oklahoma
and say, I've been too happy to
be no Bye bye.
This is how easy the process
What do you do here?
Whatever it is, what is real? They don't say if it's menials they don't say they just mentioned 370.
About a $10 million.
Very good system. Do not make it difficult on people.
That's not the thing. The thing is so easy.
Maybe money they say I said to answer this word By the way, saya saya, ma, ma easy.
It's okay. It's okay. To make the parents feel
in one breath.
I never forget.
We were praying and this man came up to me.
He was thinks he laughed.
When I said
what is the next one?
Thank you when we send that are we going to take that away?
Make it easy on you.
And he can hear me
another thing oh my god.
It's okay for you.
It's not like it came out.
is easy to capture
I think it was like a nail.
And after the
even the email in Doha and so sometimes in Islam
sometimes I say oh, I hope that email doesn't lead acid.
I said Mother Nature have no problem. Look Allahu Akbar silence Allah you hear him
that's your when you hear it is no more silence
that is silence silence.
Yes, you're right sisters. Sometimes also the brothers
you know, they like force you to like wait for them. Why should you lean on me? I have been
under Pilate. No, it's like brother we are still reading our Fatiha
more follows the email Not the other way. Yes, Mohammed before sister Shelly
How are you? Good to see you, young sister. Just now you performed that
Nika that is when you
know you are working. Like here. No, I was the the map. Yeah. So here I will tell you.
Because our definition of Wally and your definition now. Okay, so what is it?
When something that is,
so your data needs to be given away by the body? And they affect the rest of how to become one. Okay? Most times, it's your father. Okay. So if the father, then your father becomes one, yes. Your father is not around, maybe even your brothers or your whatever. I don't know whether this is this the same thing? Okay, this is same. So in that, in that context, the one thing is the person who keeps the way? Oh, yes. That's correct. That's what they were saying. No.
So far the where the woman is the daughter is exactly what I said.
Alex has come to the back of of Egypt and the wall is there, ready to give away your daughter, then? This is not the hospital that she is the one.
I know. She was to keep away the
the doctor when they said
they said can you become
to become one he said.
They said Okay, no problem. So the party becomes weaker.
What's your question? I'm just giving because he was the mom here also cadila mo
D, I will see him Yes. Yeah. So is that what is the same as in case later on? Got a problem? He is not No. Yeah, no, the man. The man who married them does not have to be involved unless they want him is the man they want to talk to him.
But islamically what there is a problem. You go back to the when,
for example, the husband is upset with his wife cannot talk to her. He should go to her father. Uncle, please look at mine.
And the man should be fair, listen to him that listen to his daughter, not because she's his daughter. She's always like, no, it's not like that.
instance is the is the message. Okay? I mean,
it's okay. It's okay. As long as he agrees, because it's the right of the Father. Now, we don't agree with the father or we don't need the father if he is racist is against the marriage just because he's black.
He's against the marriage because he's Indian Muslim Mama, who is a Chinese Muslim. Instead, we say why
is he not a Muslim?
Didn't he come to you? doesn't have a job. is really a bad person. No. Why are you
To perform the nega
chin, no, no, no. Anyway, okay, but preferably, that's why we set to the highest. What did we say to the point in the beginning in the beginning of the class when I say equals two equals two.
So when the man knows that this man came first to him 90% humidity 90%
He didn't even go to the girl. He can do it. I would like to.
But know when the girl of someone plays a drama behind her father's back, when the father knows he has a right to get angry, because they didn't do it the right way.
That's wrong. Yes. And you better
know, when you're hacking in case of problem, not very good.
The wedding who met is the girl, the woman to another man doesn't have to be the hacker. Later on when they fight for this, and they exhausted three first steps.
advising Mourinho still doesn't want to listen.
not sleeping nipper still doesn't want to
hitting her on her hand, and her thighs. And still she doesn't want
that Hakeem doesn't have to be father.
Kenny, can he be the father? Yes. But doesn't have to be five could be somebody else.
And preferably somebody not bias because further bias he will he will take the side of his daughter and we want to solve the problem. We want to save the marriage. So what are for example, the concerns the legitimate concerns of the boy? The boy says to his hacking the hacking cat, and then the girl says to her hacking
maybe uncle's maybe, you know, friends, wise people, anyone that would say look, how can we solve this problem? Then they give their opinions? Then they found the boy and the girl and force them to this lady.
You mentioned earlier when you barely made a family? Yes. And
your wife's mother, your father, your mother? Yes. And you do?
Yes. What? If something happens to your marriage?
Later on, you can say yes, because she became
sisters, brothers, the in laws, they become hard on for you forever. The moment you marry their daughter.
You The moment you marry a man his father becomes hard for you. It can never met you. But you have to consummate the marriage first.
If a man brought the Nika aka, but did not consummate the marriage. He never slept with his wife.
And then the wife died. Can she can he marry her mother.
never slept with the daughter.
Later on, let's say he likes that she likes if they want to win,
which would be a great movie drama.
Same thing for the other. The boy was about to marry a girl and they inika but they never went together in a bedroom. Never happened.
Then the boy dies.
His father can he marry if she except Yes.
But the more they consummate the marriage. She becomes your mother in law. Even God forbid if your wife dies, you can go have her sit with our new mother.
can actually see that she can never renew my walk which is like your mother in law.
is the wisdom of not marrying or attaching with him of being a mother.
so that if she lives with you, she doesn't have to cover from you. If you go visit her, okay, we tend not to wait until I
you met Dr. Thomas? Same thing for your father? She is his daughter now.
If he sits with her and hug her and play with her You have no right to say anything. Please his daughter
like is playing with exactly with his daughter but after consummating the marriage not be
okay, what else?
As soon as the boy becomes valuable, and the girl because they can make
the girl can marry even before the age of puberty.
Before she gets happier she can
differentiate between sharing culture in some cultures no you can do this. Yeah, or you can do it. No, the dean doesn't set the date.
100 years old woman can 100 years old man.
Don't let now the orientalist come and teach you morality because they are the most even more.
I never take morality from the west. I take technology I expect them for it. But not we have the best and our best teacher is harmless Allah Almighty.
Allah Allah. Allah the title of the book seven heavens with the best man on earth in ethics is awesome. So why you will take from them take from him.
So, young woman, can we say better? Just to you know, protect the rights of a girl. She's white understand, but if her father is still there and protecting her mother, or uncle's? What is the problem?
Ladies the problem
of the younger of 12 or 13 years getting
interrupted, there is a Kambou by 25 everybody's grandpa.
Serious? not joking. But why is everybody at the age of
13 you already fallen?
By 25 Your son is getting married.
That's why they live long and they are healthy and they have each other.
You can let your children do anything except marriage.
Because our concept of marriage is very distorted.
I was talking about marriage in in America in Houston right after 911. And I was talking about these attacks on because they start attacking Islam right after 911 they start attacking stuff. So I I choose 20 points of what they attack and answer them one by one. And
remember, one African American system.
She became Postini De Palma, some of the best mistakes come from J. She likes her hand and she said she can I say something as she took the mic and she said, why aren't we guys? And there were many non Muslims that why are you guys surprise?
Islam? I second what shave said my own grandmother got married. And she said, I will bring you the
marriage certificate signed by a judge of Louisiana at the age of 10 1010. The judge agreed many.
So your own laws your own people don't know you don't even know. And you're attacking? Is that for me? No, because they were saying
she's my grandma. My grandma
actually showed me that she brought it later on. And I really wanted to have a copy. I forgot
to show it to you the state of Louisiana judge so a lot of this marriage. So
because right away
the states are quite different. In that loss like here also some of the states are different.
So even in America, they do that
because the media when they attack Islam they want you to
Alright, so here we say that at the end
Somebody that Islam I businesses, is the only institution. Marriage is the only institution Islam, at least for men and woman to be at the same ceiling. Simply because that man and that woman were harder for each other, to become harder, it has to be with the agreement of Allah first is a small slice of second, according to sooner than the parents,
that the parents that's why I don't encourage any young man or young woman to marry without the blessing of the parents. Don't do that.
And parents have right over you. It's not what you like, is what I like. And my father mother likes. It's not like, I need to die.
throw you in the drain.
Don't do that because you will suffer, you will really suffer because your father and mother literally.
So don't go do things behind their back.
It's not fair to
raise your this and at the end, they are just invited. Like anybody else. Oh my god, what's that?
But I blame parents for this.
Some parents, okay.
It's his life, no.
Don't interfere a million times. But
from day one, you should have told them certain things. He also said that it's the most important contract asset
the contract is between us and the contract of benefit is
Three, we talked about certain mistakes that happen in the footpath in asking the handle, they will go straight to her family and
you know, we have seen even the woman when she asked me is with her, our beloved mother Khadija the olahraga when she was interested in also masasa.
One so that she does not make him uncomfortable. Because he worked for her.
Look, look at what and in case he says No, he doesn't.
But when you send it through someone who asks why Sofia wants to marry me, and he says sorry, sister. When she goes and tell her how many like is there is a buffer zone.
You stop him somewhere, brother. I would like to marry him.
Now he's shot my rainbow all the colors.
Oh, he says, Sorry. I cannot
know what you see. Pick him up.
100 That's why there are parents that are friends that is so what they
do when she got interested in our services. She sent through her best friend Nafisa and Nafisa didn't go straight to him. She went to his uncle
and she said please, I have something to say and I'm very shy said Go ahead.
He said Do you know how deja vu doesn't know how deja vu woman?
He said he's interested in many your nephew who Mohammed
let me let me
Oh, thank you.
let me ask you samples so the uncle went to his ankles best not to.
You want to have
a lovely day begins to have what do you think
three hikers want to talk to you about one of your future.
What do you think Khadija is interested in you? My boss
said what do you think?
They said okay. He said
the news didn't go straight to
we edited by everybody
but no influenced by both
Do you want to dance together
kill the hero
you know I went oh yeah I was fixing my car service
nine o'clock at night okay for my car to the surface
always said that
there are no
there are no subjects
know subject of movies heroes heroes you don't have heroes
dropped someone shot what is that is that managers
that's what they want but is yet to be manager is not changing
always the bad guy ball
issues of Nika It is about them we will move on with this type of series to anticipate future problems and to avoid them because the reason why we learn them so that our children the mistakes we make in Charlotte, our children are 14 and maybe there is a problem coming Oh I know how to handle it from the
So, this was the
so now can a woman can woman propose to men can but this way
for your own good sisters, because a man can say no sorry. And if he is good, he will say Sorry sister are not available will not shout out to you or who cut you down or something. Which is very not true. You know the sister doesn't want to have she wants to. But careful.
You are not dealing with Sahaba we're not dealing with the noble man like Abu Talib, although he was captured but he was Noble.
And you're not Khadija and the men who want to marry is not.
So yes. And one more question.
So I thought I answer. What did I say? When
I said, Okay, this is really not it. I said what? Okay, please, I'm not talking about what happened in your culture.
I'm talking about what happened in Islam.
Well get your wedding party forget your capture for one, okay.
In Islam for men, too many women or men too many. He needs
number one, too.
Number two, one.
This one he is not the one he hacky. Maybe you call it what it is called when he was when he got here. Mainly
mainly the path he has applied even if he's not Muslim. By the way. Let's say the father is not Muslim. He has no right to give these talks.
Let's say she became Muslim. And can we call him Uncle Can you is up against the
one he is the one he is against. We don't care about it. We find a wedding or then the two witnesses.
Muslim witnesses practicing them down.
This way is not the same necessarily when there is a fight between husband and wife, husband and wife. Don't agree we should be the woman
is in bad news. Let's say she she wants to control him. She wants her away, which is very wrong. The man advises heifers. He doesn't get it. He doesn't sleep near her. He doesn't get it. He wrote answer Where? On her hand. And that's it. But with something no more, no more, no more than this. Maybe this.
Just to tell her sister I'm about to end. After that when he still doesn't go back to her common sense.
We say please read the wise men, wise men
and the wise men.
It could be this one. That is called what?
The one that you're talking about is the one who gives marriage right?
It doesn't mean it's not right. It means
it's just your way you call him here?
Oh, yes. But with the knowledge of your father. Yeah.
No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm saying the Father. The father doesn't have to be a Muslim.
Catholic? No, no, this marriage
is the other way. The mother has to be Christian, not the father. Father must be Muslim. We discussed this last week. Remember the brother who passed away and his wife couldn't even bury him? And they're accusing her because he was Catholic? He is not Muslim. She is a Muslim. This is a mistake. never marry non Muslim hamdulillah for you it's clear Allah slammed the door in your face.
That's wrong. All those marriages are done and boy
islamically even if you registered them in every country is haram is not registered with Xena
no Muslim woman should marry a non Muslim man.
For us at the trial is on us. You are always like oh, that's Christian. No, I told you even stevia provisions acidic conditions above the normal Simona
a woman who is the non Muslim woman African Mary Can you bring out from the church or from the synagogue may not from this whole match
from a virus a worksheet a lot allow me to he did not allow you to that you're just justifying them. So when the man is Christian and the woman that marriage is not important
and we shouldn't marry that children
and as they become Muslim and leave them
so that when he is not we don't call him when?
When a married woman can choose or when
a married woman he was he
can choose but when she is virgin young, no. She has to have a way we choose one. She has no right to do so but if she already got married she can choose someone she says Please be my wedding. Yes, brother.
waiting for someone
or you're gonna use Okay. Okay. We're gonna finish in one more question. What can I do? And he
can he can when he doesn't have to be a very good Muslim. I said he doesn't have to be a Muslim. But let's say he doesn't object his daughter to marry someone. We honor him and I know someone who either system because of that.
I said what is the father of this?
Would you like to
have an hour?
He said Your Honor.
I saw my daughter happy. I never saw my daughter happy until she got
half an hour.
Witnesses must be very
Last question for my sister.
No more before I mean, not before. She can wait. Don't say no. Your father died. I have to wait for 10 years after she's dying to
everybody here especialista homies we didn't see for ages.
Those brothers are coming all the way from May Allah bless them.
sisters who are coming also from far less than
those who are not married they are what makes them happy and give them great spouses very soon. Those who are married
they are stuck. What can they do?
Yes, thank you. I am leaving
on the Monday, not tomorrow, next Monday to Bangladesh. Anybody would like to give something to the Rohingya. I just want to remind you the best people who deserve zakat. Now,
so even if
you can give inshallah I have seen one week before I go to anybody who has something
that will be there will be class next year in shock because my flight is early morning, Monday.