Channel: Zohra Sarwari
Tips for Parenting in the Age of Covid-19
© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.
Bismillah R Rahman Rahim al hamdu lillahi anathema to who wanna stay in Ohio and istockphoto when I will be lying and Cerulean fusina woman say at Dr. Molina, Maria de la palma de la la mejor de la ilaha illallah wa Chateau en la ilaha illallah wa Jalla wa shadow under Mohammed Abdullah soon. Am I bad rubbish?
Yes Coco. Lita designee Elma me. In the Name of Allah the Most Gracious, The Most magnificent to All praise is due to Allah, Lord of the universe. We praise Him and we seek His help and his forgiveness and we seek His protection from the curse Satan, whomever Allah guides will never be misguided, and whomever he allows to be misguided will never be guided. I bear witness that there's no deity worthy of worship except Allah who's won a load and has no partners. And I bear witness that Muhammad sallallahu alayhi salam is a servant and His Messenger May the blessings of Allah be upon him, his family, his companions, and the righteous will follow them until the day of judgment and need a
salaam aleikum wa Rahmatullahi wa barakaatuh. So I'm not sure how many of you guys know but my name is Laura sawari. And today's topic, inshallah Allah is going to be Keep calm and carry on, it's going to be tips for parenting in, you know, this time of COVID-19. So, I know a lot of people are struggling with that right now. I mean, I saw that coming. As soon as they said, the schools are going to be shutting down. And so Subhanallah this lecture really is to be able to help people
help themselves as well as their families during this difficult time. And, inshallah I'm going to give you guys, a few points I'm going to talk about today I'm going to talk about how to keep calm and positive during this time, I'm going to talk about the potential harms of panicking and reacting negatively inshallah, and also how to engage your children while they're at home, you know, with you, and a lot of people have told me that I can't homeschool, I can't teach them I can. So how do we handle and engage with our children during this difficult time that we're facing? Alright, so number one, you know, to keep calm, we need to be able to talk to our kids about what is going on,
we need to explain to them at the different levels that there are, it's so important that we remain calm and steadfast at this time, we set hamdulillah for everything, and be able to talk to our children about what's going on without panicking and without being like, upset and angry and distressed because our children are watching us more than they're listening to us. So if we're stressed, and we're all over the place due to this virus, and we can't handle ourselves, then we show ourselves as being anxious and all that then they will also catch up on these feelings and emotions. And when another calamity hits on them in the future, they will react in the same way. So
it is vital, it is vital that we stay calm. And we said hamdulillah. And this is for a believer. And for a believer, no matter what happens. We said hamdulillah we stay calm. And we know that Allah is the best of planners and everything that he does has wisdom and hikma behind it, and we accept it. So it's massive. So again, like I said, the children will mirror our reactions as adults, right? They're not listening to us or watching us. So please, please, please, please pay attention to how you do things. And also what you say, they're going to pick up on the changes in our tone of voice, and our body language and our facial language and everything, they'll be paying attention very, very
much to this. So I know, being a homeschooling mom, that our kids can ask a lot of questions Michelle Obama, and I know, sometimes they can repeatedly asked the same questions. It's repetitive and you feel like I already answered this. Why are they asking me again? Well, sometimes they need to hear it a few times in order for it to make sense. And for it to actually, you know,
go into their minds and settle in, and they need to hear it a few times. And they need to see it and they need to be able to connect the dots. And so it is okay if they're being repetitive. Just be patient as you're answering these questions, inshallah. Give your kids the facts. This is massive. Give them the facts of what's happening. Don't lie to them. Don't shelter them and hide them this. Let them know the reality of what's out there. You know, so Paula, you don't have to go as far as some parents but you can go as far as you want it for myself every morning. After we get up we pray and after selasa then I sit there and I look at what's going on around the world and what's happened
and I tell them it's upon a lot you know, and to be honest with you now, my kids, some of them come watch the news with me. Others watching
news on their own computer and they tell me the newest updates going on around the world, not just about COVID-19, but things that are actually happening in the world, whether we like it or not. So give them the facts, let them know what the crisis is. And
it's okay. I mean, this is life, this is how it's going to be, you know, don't over dramatize and make it scary for them, but be honest about it, and let them know that, you know, this has happened in the past. And just be very honest, I think being honest, is very important. You know,
and this is massive to us. During this time, we need to also, you know, remind me, it's upon us as believers. inshallah, inshallah, inshallah, we're ready to wash our hands, because we pray the five times a day, and we're constantly we know that how important it is to be clean, it's part of our being, it's half of our faith, the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam, we said, cleanliness is half of your faith. So it's so important to be clean. So we need to constantly remember to, you know, remind them to wash their hands, and to be clean, and not just Subhanallah
hypothetically, but be clean in general, their rooms, their clothing, everything about us should, you know, be leading to cleanliness. So this is so important, somehow. And, of course, you know, right now, the majority of us around the world are in quarantine. And for those of us who are in quarantine, than to penalize, you know, we don't get to see a lot of other people, but if there is someone who's sick in your house, you know, keep them away from the kids and have them be in a separate room and being quarantined by themselves, and take them food and all that. And, you know, it's recommended that when the sick person use the bathroom, whether they have the flu or whatever,
they're sick up, after you know, they're done you, you know, you have your disinfectant, just clean that area again, just so we don't pass on the illness insha Allah, and it just makes it easier for all of us to, you know, be prepared to take care of each other, inshallah.
So, staying calm requires us to put less on our schedules and Shola staying calm requires us to put it last on our schedule. inshallah. So think about what you can control. The bottom line is, when we get stressed out, we're trying to control a lot of things. And sometimes we can't control those things. Try not my dear sisters and brothers, try not to waste your time and energy, worrying about things that you cannot control. Okay, this is so important.
And, you know, you have to step back and look at your situations and seeing what you can do and how you can do it and how you can do it with your family. And whatever, you can't control the light, just keep moving forward. staying calm requires us to not lose it. This is so important. I know so many parents right now who are losing their cool, who are getting frustrated and upset and angry. And we can't lose our cool we have to be relaxed, we have to you know, I know as a as a homeschooling Mom, you know, personally I'm for myself, I have a lot on my schedule, I have my own studies that have to do daily Alhamdulillah and it's online and then I have my children's choir
Alhamdulillah that I'm helping with them with and then I've got, they've got their studies to do and then homeschooling then it's like the cooking and the cleaning and you know, the regular normal day to day jobs.
So if things aren't going as we've handed, then somehow like it's going to work we will lose our cool much faster. So we need to remember that we need to keep coming back and stepping a foot back and saying Okay, so I'm just going to be patient might be patient and I'm not going to get angry at this. You know, and I'm going to relax. And it's important, it's important and for myself personally, you know, this is what I love about the five salons a day is every time it's a lot of time it's like it refreshes me. It gives me you know, by the time you make Hulu and you go you talk to a lot It changes your mood, you get back down and you relax again and you start over. So that
time you know by the time everyone goes and make Hulu and you start your prayers and by time Salah is done it gives you like this whole calming effect like okay hamdulillah now you get back into a different state. So if you are upset earlier and relaxed and then you start again you start all over. And so this is important like to have some kind of schedule to be able to help you that and make maybe you can look at your salon and that way as well. You know, I always tell people, Salah is not a burden. And if you think of it as a burden, and Subhanallah you're not going to benefit from it at all. Salah is your time to talk to a laser gel to connect with him to relax to cool down to
reflect, to think and more than anything to try to be inspired to get back up after that's a lot and to do better than you did before inshallah and so inshallah that will help you guys as well. Next thing in order to keep yourself calm and collected
is removing yourself from the situation. This is massive, remove yourself from the situation. If you know you're angry and upset as a parent, and you your child is just frustrating you and I know, I recently had a mother call me and say, Oh my God, my son is not getting off the, you know, Xbox, and he's been on it all day. And I'm telling him, let's go read some code. And he's like, no, and, you know, and so it just escalated to the part that the seven got really angry, and he left the house. Now, outside, where they live, it's an apartment complex. So there's other kids and stuff. And again, we were told to stay in and not interact with other people at this point, or at least be six
feet away from them, plus, wear mask, at least in the states were told to wear a mask and everything because it's very infectious. And so due to that, you don't want your kids to leave the house. So you have to learn to communicate better with your children.
You know, you have to sit down and communicate and talk to them and explain to them and be the parent and put some guidelines, make some rules and regulations and tell them all right, you know, so while we're here, and we're going to these are the new rules, this is how we're going to handle it inshallah, and make it where it's presentable for everyone. To be fair, if you gave your child, let's say, an hour of Xbox time, before this happened, give him that hour of Xbox time, but the rest of the time tomorrow, I want you to work on some worksheets with me, you know, I want you to read some books, I want you to, like have a schedule planned out, inshallah, and have your kids followed.
And I'll talk a little bit more about that in a bit in a minute. But right now, I'm just kind of explained to communicate with your children. And, you know, once something comes out of your mouth, you're not able to take that back. So we have to be so careful as parents that we don't say things that are hurtful, or nasty, or risky or dangerous. It's really, I mean, it's very, it happened so quickly, sometimes we don't pay attention. And honestly, we really, really, really need to pay attention to that. And we need to reflect on that. And we need to make sure that inshallah we don't get to that level. So one of the ways that you can take yourself out of the situation is by, you
know, going into another room, lying down, relaxing, putting on some quiet ad for yourself, and going and doing some cooking, doing something to just get out of that area and just focus on relaxing and finding who you are and thinking about your situation, and how you want to handle inshallah,
and May Allah make it easy for all of us. I mean,
you definitely, you know, something I used to do with my kids when they were younger, is I would teach them breathing techniques. So when my kids would come and they'd be like,
they'd be screaming, crying, I'm like, Alright, hold on, take a deep breath, Mr. Miller light, let's do this a few times. And by the time we took the deep breaths, about five times, six times, everything had calmed down, the crying had calmed down, they were able to think flex, slow down. And it really, really, really changed their mood. masataka. So this is something that sometimes we also need to do, we need to take a deep breath, close our door, get everyone out of our room, take a deep breath,
relax, let everything kind of soak in, let our body just, you know, relax, and then just sit there. Like I said, you know, for myself, personally, I just like to listen to some quiet add and take a few minutes of just relaxing and then sit back and think okay, how do I want to handle the situation? How do I want to handle it and re evaluate it and then come back out inshallah as a different person and hopefully, you know, with different
different guidelines or consequences for everyone.
Okay, so the next thing is I want to talk about is, you know, I talked about how listening to the Quran is important when you're calming yourself down. But being steadfast in our Deen, this is massive. When we face hardships and calamities, and this is right now being experienced by everyone around the world, it's the first time in my life that I've seen everyone around the world, you know, in quarantine locked in their homes going through, and some places harsher than others. But basically everyone is told that there's this plague out there and it's coming. It's coming and be prepared for it. and due to that, you know, we're all on that same page. It's the only thing at this
time that can benefit and help us is our lean is our connection to a laser job. And it's sometimes hard for us. Because if we weren't close to our laser job before, that, before the calamity stroke, it's even harder because we don't go to a lot instead of suffer a lot. We go to the music and the videos and the movies and we're trying to keep ourselves busy with things that aren't as not only beneficial but aren't as helpful. At the end of the day. Once those things turn off. We're back in that same fear and all that we just keeping ourselves busy. It hasn't really taken away the real issue.
So reconnect with
With our Dean can help us in so many ways Mashallah. Take advantage of this, my dear sisters and brothers, take this opportunity not only for yourself but sit with your kids and talk to them about the Quran. read to them some of the meanings of the students that Allah azzawajal has given us. You know, whatever, you can read some Hadith, read some stories from the car and get closer to Allah azza wa jal and make the most out of your quarantine. before Ramadan even comes, this should be us right now getting closer and preparing for Ramadan inshallah, because unfortunately, it looks like we may still be some of us may still be in our homes, this Ramadan and not be able to go to the
masjid. And if that's the case that's upon Allah, our faiths should be stronger and even more better than it was when we started. And so let's start working on that in sha Allah. And Allah azza wa jal says, In surah, number 13, is 28. Verily, in the remembrance of Allah, do hearts find peace. That's only in the remembrance of Allah. The more we remember, a lot of more we understand the closer we are to him, the more that our hearts find peace and Sakina.
Next thing I want to talk about is how kids can actually during this time with a COVID-19, you know, with that schools closing, a lot of kids, I know, were super happy when it first happened. They were like, Yay, Hamdulillah, you know, I don't have to go to school, no homework, no, this no that. And they were super excited. But at the same time, so why kids can be traumatized, due to schools closing, they can be traumatized. And really, the trauma decision comes from now they no longer get to see their friends. And they get to, you know, have some socialization time with them. And they fear like, okay, everything has changed. for them. This isn't something they use to kids who are
homeschool, this is the norm because they're always at home anyways, right. And so to be honest with you, my shot, the particular home bought it for my kids, it wasn't a massive big change. The only thing was my son who was going to the university, he was actually excited. Now his office classes were online, he was like, Oh, I don't have to go to school and come back, he was more excited to do things online and just to study at home.
But for a lot of other kids, especially if they're social butterflies, and they have all their friends there, it's a time of uncertainty for them. And they don't know and they don't want to be just stuck at home and doing nothing. And if their parents don't know how to homeschool, and there, they will eventually get bored. Even for them a lot of time kids, you know, learning is a massive big thing. And so school is provided for them, safety and you know, food, routine, connections, stimulation, and I guess socialization with their friends. So anytime the routine changes, it can be very stressful for those kids as well, just like it can be stressful for us parents.
Right now a lot of the parents are worried about, you know, their income and their jobs and what's happening. And so all these behavior changes, all this makes a massive, big difference. So for us now, as parents as educators, we really, really, really need to help our children. And it's going to depend on how we communicate with them, you know, and how we talk to them and how we describe things and, you know, express things and they have to trust and support us. So if your relationship with your child was not good, before this took place, it is time to rebuild that relationship and to sit with them and to beat with them and to play with them and to have fun with them and to you know,
teach them more than anything, you know, have a way to teach them in everything that they do, whether that's teaching them how to cook, teaching them how to make proper will do teaching them new items, and whatever it is, you know, put in some time and effort and inshallah
and inshallah also the regular studies like keep them abroad on that, because when they do go back to school, you don't want that to be behind inshallah, you know, so some of the potential harms of us panicking of us reacting in a negative way. I want to discuss some of those, what are some of those potential harms? highlights? You know, fear is a thing that can change and drive us dramatically. I know when they come in the United States of America, you know, right now, gun sales have been like the highest, because people are afraid, they don't know what to expect what's going to happen, people have been buying guns and getting, you know, trying to see if that's how they're
going to protect themselves. Right? Other people go to, you know, over eating, just shopping, constantly shopping, and anything that, you know, to make them feel comfortable and to relax. Right. And so fear drives us in different ways. Right? Now, viruses are not able to function on their own. And this is the same thing with the COVID-19 virus. They require obviously a host a person to be able to survive and reproduce them that right. So when we behave in a certain way and our behaviors are
driven by fear, it can lead us to do things that aren't right. And I know, you know, what's been really sad is the discrimination towards Asians have been tremendously high towards, you know, the Chinese that anyone who looks Asian have been have been tremendously discriminated against, whether it's via social media or via, you know, in real life and all that. And it's, it's ridiculous, you know, and it's sad, but this is the reality of it. So when you're afraid, you just want to blame someone, you want to say something, and we just sometimes go out of line and doing things and that's when it can be worse for all of us. So it's so important that Subhan Allah, we don't panic, we
relax, we understand that everything happens by the will of Allah subhanaw taala, we remind our children that, that nothing in this world can happen unless Allah was it. And if Allah has will display this upon a light there is good in it. While there's, you know, obviously, a lot of things that we may dislike, there's also good in it. I mean, one of the things that I personally found amazing was the nature coming back, you know, the smog in India has cleared up Cipolla, like all that smoke. And then you see around the world, the animals are everywhere, and they're happy. And it's almost like a loss of Allah wanted us to take a break, stop what we're doing, and just go back
to him in that sense, and go back to him and let the world take a breath, and relax. And we weren't doing it on our own. So unless Oh, Joe sent something now, unfortunately,
a lot of us make it worse by going out there and, you know, socializing and not listening to the orders of the doctors and the LMR. That's how they're telling everyone to stay home. And so we're going in, we're making this worse, just stay home. And let's get through this together, inshallah. And don't go out. And just think about everything that's happening and take a deep breath and enjoy, you know, the moments with your family inshallah. Because a lot of us sometimes don't have those moments, and our kids grow up so fast, we actually miss out on it, and now you have a chance to not miss out on inshallah. And it's massive.
It's raining here in California. I don't know how it is for you guys. But it's raining here. So if you hear the rain, it's upon lights. It's outside.
caretaking caretakers. Now, as parents, we are going to be especially high risk for our emotional, you know, well being during this time. Because we have, you know, we're worrying about our kids, we're worrying about their school, we're worried about their chances that we have our own worries in our jobs and our socialization, our friends, and we have what we're gonna do, and then we have, you know, worrying about our parents and our aunts and uncles, and cousins and our neighbors. And so we have all this different type of, you know, worry on us, and guilt because we can't do certain things. And I know, you know, recently for myself that my aunt was hospitalized, and you know, and I
know, they wouldn't allow anyone to go visit her. And that was very hard for me because I normally don't get to see everyone. And I'm very busy with my own trips and tours and lectures and homeschooling. But at this time, now that we're in lockdown, I have some time and I was like, Okay, I want to go visit her in the hospital. Now we're not allowed to because of the situation. So Subhan Allah, really just, you know, take it back. And for me, you know, I was like a handler with a phone and I can call her and I can talk to her and I was able to call her and talk to her. And it made me feel much better, but take advantage of making those phone calls that we normally didn't make due to
not having the time or, you know, remembering it, now's the time. So this, all of these things will make us feel calmer. And really the reason why is because as a believer, we're always looking to do good deeds. So always look at what can I do in this situation, that's going to be a good deed, inshallah. And the more we can try to look into our good deeds, the better we're going to be in the camo we're going to be in the more relaxed we'll be inshallah.
Alright, so now I'm gonna talk a little bit about the tips that we can engage with our children, some of the techniques that we can do to engage with our children, because their home because schools have locked down. First thing I'm telling you guys, and I always say this is please, please, please, please make a schedule, make a schedule, and
follow your schedule. This is massive, you know, don't put too much pressure on that schedule. So for example, don't put on your schedule that you're gonna go work out for two hours in your room, you probably not make your schedule where it's doable, you know, if you want to work out 20 minutes, you know, okay, 20 minutes workout, if you want to make a really good meal and it's going to take 45 minutes an hour, put that on your schedule, you know if you want to do that and with your children
Don't just put two hours of crap. You know, maybe you can do one or two suitors. And it's like 2025 minutes, you know. So make a schedule of what you want to do on a daily basis with what kind of stuff, you know, there's playing games, there's obviously doing their schoolwork, I mean, having them do worksheets, and workbooks, maybe working together on a group project, maybe working together, in like a home education, where you're teaching them how to sew, or you're teaching them how to cook, and everyone's there and helping out, somebody is giving you the flour, someone's giving the sugar, and everyone's working on making some cookies or something, you know, look at it
that way, put things together and
even make that schedule one is lunchtime going to be one can everybody have some time to just, you know, be alone, go in their rooms and just maybe read a book or
you know, do some puzzles, or you know, just play with their own toys, whatever they want to do, give them some alone time, you know, and really, really reflect on how you want to do all that, but put a schedule together, this is massive, that will help you tremendously inshallah. Now, for the majority of us, we have children are different age groups. And if we have that, then we need to be aware of their ages. You cannot tell your kindergartner, the same thing to do as you tell your fifth grader. For example, your fifth grader may be able to know how to turn on the oven may be able to know how to turn on the washer and dryer and all that and where your kindergartner might not be able
to so be responsive be aware of your children's ages. And also their emotional state be aware of that as well see where they are emotionally. So inshallah tala, you can help them at that level. Because, obviously, you know, those who are in elementary school have different emotional needs and wants than those who are middle school and those who are high school and those who are University. And we have to connect directly to their emotional needs and schelotto. And it's challenging, I tell you, it's very challenging, because I have kids of different ages and I for Marshall at the bottom. And it's very hard, because it's like, you know, you're trying to teach one and that one gets it and
you're gonna try to use that same to speak with other one, the other one doesn't get it. So you really, really have to kind of go outside your box and, you know, be emotionally responsive to them. And also, with the older children, you don't really need to help them directly with a lot of things, you can kind of guide them and tell them how to do their homework, and they can start it and you can show them a couple examples where the younger ones, you may actually have to sit down and go through a few and really explained much more. And it depends on what the subject is, you know, so just be responsive to that.
If you're working from home, which you know, some of us are, or depending on you where you're living, maybe a lot of you, if you're working from homes, you know, literally again, just do your best, do your best, do your best with their studies, do your best with your home schedule. Don't over, you know, fill your schedule, if especially if you can't handle it, and it's going to make things worse, and it's going to bring more stress and more pain for you. So just do your best at that and relax and make it where it's, you know, doable. I remember recently there was a I was reading the news and there was this guy, he said
that he was working from home and he had four kids and his boss was on video call with him telling him stuff. And as soon as the boss was about to say, Okay, I really need you to work on this. Like three of his kids ran behind the Father. And he ran behind him one was naked, the other one had the clothes. And the other one was like running with him with a stick. And the boss looks at him. And he's like, nevermind. Like I get it, you know, working from home is because you've got these kids, you've got all these things happening. That isn't the normal work schedule. So just kind of you know, relax with that and do your best. That's all I'm gonna say Do your best, but just be don't
over push anything. If you can't handle It's okay. And Alhamdulillah now you know because we're home. We have the weekends too. So if you need some time on the weekend to you know, do more work than inshallah do with them, but just you know, don't overfill your schedule.
Next I'd love to talk about being grateful. Being grateful. SubhanAllah This is massive. Allah subhanaw taala has told us so many times and and and Ibrahima number seven, Allah subhanaw taala tells us if you're grateful I will give you more food. We are grateful. We are so blessed. The majority of us around the world we have a home. We have shelter, we have food, we have clothing, we have our health. You know we have enough money to buy us food and to take care of our bills right now. And this is massive for us. Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. And we need to be grateful for that.
And we need to thank Allah constantly for everything that we have that we have our kids with us in our homes, and they're not alone and they're not
by themselves, and we have all these things that our parents are, you know, at home, and they're okay and constantly be grateful. Remind them, you know that Subhanallah, we are far, far better than so many people around the world. I remember this week when I was watching the news, and I was seeing how all the poor people in India,
who are now since everyone's staying home, and they don't have jobs, and they were walking to go back to their villages, and it was so crowded and I was thinking support, if anyone has the Coronavirus amongst them, imagine a staffer how many of these people are going to die along the way, because of poverty because of not no health care because of all that, and India isn't doing enough for that. It's sad, you know, and it's the same thing like with our homeless people in America and around the world, but they're going to suffer the most of suffering. And so it's so important to be grateful and thankful. And if we can't try to help any of those people, when we see them, I know we
don't leave the house much. But if we do go out, and we see a homeless person, you know, trying to get them something to eat, trying to give them some money, do something that is going to be inshallah beneficial. And we I mean, it is, it's a tough time, because we're worrying about ourselves, but at the same time, you know, loss testing us, and remember that we won't get the disease unless Allah wills it for us. So, you know, if you're out there, and you're already there, you know, just take some stuff and get past it out. And you know, be a few feet away, and just leave it for them and say, Hey, this is for you and walk away. But remember, humanity should still exist.
And may Allah make us easy and make it make it easy for everyone out there and make it easy for us to remember to do these things for others. I mean, I mean, me. So Alhamdulillah Alhamdulillah. And, you know, in the times of hardship and tribulations, write a test, we know that this is a test from Allah, and we want to gain his rewards, right. And that Hadith that the Prophet sallallahu wasallam said to us, was great rewards come with great trials. And when Allah loves the people, he tests them and whoever accepts it, whoever accepts his test and attains it with pleasure, his pleasure, then, whereas, you know, it's going to be so much better for us, whereas the person who is discontent and
is angry than in a thoughtful way, he's going to have a loss wrap. So if we accept that we get a lot of pleasure, and we show discontent and unhappiness, or we get a lot of wrath and a lot protect us all. I mean, I mean, I mean, so just be grateful, accept it, understand it, and just keep moving. inshallah.
In this Hadith, we learn that those of us who practice patients, in times of difficulties were going to get great reward for endurance, while those of us who showing gratitude and displeasure than a staff below are going to have more hardship and more issues. And with that being said, I actually want to share with you guys a story that I recently read, and
and I found it, it's about patience, and I found it very powerful. And therefore I actually want to share it with you guys. And the name of the story was the husband who was too shy to look at his wife.
The story was recounted by Professor Khalid al Jabez consulting cardiovascular surgeon in one of his lectures. He said, I once operated in the two and a half year old child, it was a Tuesday and on Wednesday, the child was in good health. On Thursday at 11:15am. I'll never forget the time because of the shock I experienced. One of the nurses informed me that the heart and the breathing of the child had stopped. I hurry to the child who performed cardiac massage for about 45 minutes. And during that entire time, the heart would not work. Then the Lord decreed for the heart to resume function. And we thanked him, I want to inform the child's family about his condition. As you know,
it's very difficult to inform the patient's family about his condition when it's this bad. This is one of the most difficult situations a doctor is subjected to, but it is necessary. So I looked for the child's father, and whom I couldn't find. Then I found his mother. I told her, I told her that a child's cardiac arrest, arrest was due to bleeding in his throat. We don't know the cause of this bleeding and fear that his brain is dead. So how do you think she responded? Did she cry that she blamed me? No, nothing of the sort. Instead, she said Alhamdulillah All praise is due to Allah and left me. After 10 days the child started moving. We thanked a lot and we were happy that his brain
condition was reasonable. After 12 days, the heart stopped again, because of the same bleeding. We performed another cardiac massage for 45 minutes. But this time his heart didn't respond. I told his mother that there was no hope. So she said I have the law or law. If there's good in his recovery, then cure him. Oh my Lord. With the grace of Allah, his heart started functioning again. He suffered six similar cardiac arrest, arrest until Treacher specialist was able to stop the bleeding in the heart started working
properly. Now three and a half months had passed and the child was recovering, but did not move. Then just as he started moving, he was afflicted with a very large, strange, pus filled abscess in his head, the likes of which I had never seen. I informed his mother of the serious development, she said, Alhamdulillah and left me, we immediately turned him over to the surgical unit that deals with the brain and the nervous systems. And they took over his treatment. Three weeks later, the boy recovered from his abscess, but we're still not moving. Two weeks passes, and he suffers from a strange blood poisoning, and his temperature reached 160 degrees Fahrenheit, I get informed as
mother of the serious development. And she said with patience and certainty of Hamdulillah, Oh Allah, if there's good in his recovery, then cure him. After seeing his mother who was with her child that has a bed number five, I want to see another child at bed number six, I found that child's mother crying and screaming Doctor, doctor do something the boy's temperature reached 99.68 Fahrenheit, he's going to die, he's going to die. I said, with a surprise. Look at the mother of that child in bed. Number five, her child's fevers over 106 degrees Fahrenheit, yet she's patient and she praises a lot. So this lady replied to me.
That woman isn't conscious and she has no senses. At that point, I remember the great Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu wasallam. blaster, the strangers blast or the strangers, just those two words, but indeed, to ward the shaken nation. In 23 years of a hospital service, I've never seen the likes of a patient sister. We continue to care for him now six and a half months have passed. And the boy finally came out of recovery unit. Not talking, not seeing not hearing, not moving, not smiling, but with an open chest, which you can see his meeting heart. The mother changed the dressing regularly remain patient and hopeful. Do you know what happened after that? Before I inform you? What do you
What do you think are the prospects of a child who's passed through all these dangerous agonism diseases? What do you expect this patient mother to do? Whose child is on the brink of the grave? Who's unable to do anything except supplicated? beseech Allah? Do you know what happened two and a half months later, the boy was completely cured by the mercy of Allah.
And as a reward for this pious mother, he now raises his mother with his feet, as if nothing has happened and he became sound and healthy as he was before Mashallah Baraka.
The story doesn't end here. This is not what moved me brought me to tears will filled my eyes with tears as what follows. One and a half year later, after the child left the hospital, a brother from the operations unit informed me that a man and his wife and two children wanted to see me. I asked him, Who were they? And he replied, he didn't know.
So I went to see them and I found the parents of the same child who might operate it on.
He was now five years old, and like a flower and a good health. As if nothing had happened, Tim, what that was also a four month old newborn. I welcomed them kindly jokingly asked the father whether this newborn was his 13th or 14th. child. He looked at me with an astonishing smile as if he pitied me. He then said, this is our second child. And the child in whom you operated was our first one who was bestowed upon us after 17 years of infertility.
And after being granted that child he was afflicted with a condition that you've seen, and hearing this, I couldn't control myself.
My eyes filled with tears. I then in volunteer, grabbed the man by the arm, and I pulled him to my room, and I asked him about his wife, who was the wife of yours, whom after 17 years of infertility, has this much patience with all the fatal conditions that afflict the firstborn? Her heart cannot be buried. It must be fertile with Iman. Do you know what he said to me? He said, Listen carefully, my dear brother,
my dear brother, and listen carefully. This the chef is telling us My dear brothers and sister, he said, I was married to this woman for 19 years. And all of those years she's never missed the late night prayers except due to an unauthorized and authorized excuse, which means the sister would wake up with the hatchet every single night unless she couldn't pray.
I have never witnessed her backbiting, gossiping or lying. Whenever I leave home or return, she opens the door supplicates for me and receives me with hospitality.
hospitability and in everything she does she demonstrate the utmost love care and courtesy and compassion. The man completed by saying indeed doctor, because of all the noble manners and affection with which she treats me I'm too shy to lift up my eyes and look at her. So I said to him, and the likes of her are truly deserve that from you.
upon Allah, I'm Salah, the wife of the Prophet sallallahu Sallam said, I heard the messenger sallallahu wasallam said there's no Muslim who's stricken by calamity,
and says that Allah has commanded him indeed we belong to Allah and indeed to him all.
Return I will love reward me for my afflicts my affliction income, compensate me with that which is better, except that a lower gratitude was something which is better. When Abu Salah, her former husband passed away, I said to my mother, myself, what Muslim is better than you Abu Salah. And I then said the words and Allah gave me the messenger. So a lot is on an exchange. It's upon Allah, my dear sisters and brothers.
When I read the story The first time he brought me to tears, and I read it to my children, and I can't help it but to understand that truly, truly, we need to be grateful and thankful and be patient and know that everything that a lot does, is done with wisdom and with hikma and, and to trust in Him and to trust all that. And this takes me to the next point where I'm going to talk about as being positive, being positive about everything being around positive people talking to only positive people, the prophet Mohammed Salah Allah has emphasized this so much. He said, it's so much when he told us the Hadith of the example of a good companion friend and comparison that with a
bad one is like that, who the good one is the one who sells musk. And in that, you know, and the other one is a blacksmith. So Subhanallah we know this, that when we buy perfume, it has such a beautiful smile, and we enjoy and we always want to spray it, but versus something that's burned. Or you know, when that we cook edition, it gets burned, or the bread burns, it has this nasty smell, and we put the fan on and we're spraying stuff to remove that scent. So it's not so important during this time and all the times to find good friends and good companions, who are righteous and who are positive and who are happy, and who see the good things, find them and be around them and be around
positive people. And if there's not many of them, that's upon a lot. It's better to be alone than to be around negative people.
And the next point I want to talk about is taking care of yourself. It is so important during this time to take care of yourself. You know, I know a lot of times like when I was reading in the news, all these celebrities now they're saying oh, we're not you know, personally, they're not no longer shaving they're, you know, not coloring their hair, they're not wearing makeup, you know, they're, for us as believers, taking care of ourselves is always been something important. So let's take care of ourselves, even in our homes. Let's make sure hygienically we take care of ourselves, you know, let's take care of ourselves and dressing up nicely, especially when we're praying and meeting our
Lord. You know, where our nicer byes when we're meeting our Lord and you know, making sure everything is clean and being happy with that, you know, taking cutting our fingernails let's not go crazy letting everything go and taking care of ourselves in that way and also being active we can do there's so many exercises we can do at home, making sure we get a good night's sleep.
You know, sleeping after Isha waking up for budgeting, if you need to take a nap during the day and hamdulillah take your nap, but to take care of yourselves you know, and more than anything, always try to see how you in any situation how you can do good for others inshallah. I know that's upon Allah. You know, Allah is the Virgil promises he promised us in the Quran after hardship, there's ease after hardship, there's these inshallah the ease will come. And for a believer, even the situation's upon Allah is amazing. Because if, even if we were to die in this situation, to be able to die from a virus like this of the plague, it's martyrdom for a believer. So it's upon Allah, how
can it not be? Either way, we're in a good situation. If we die on the left, we're alive. Alhamdulillah and, you know, we shouldn't seek for death. But if it comes to us, I hamdulillah like, you know, what better way to go than to and it's obviously not the same martyrdom as those who fight and say in the sake of Allah, but it's in one of those levels where it's still considered martyrdom even if we're in our own homes and we're quarantine we pass away so Alhamdulillah again for everything for everything you know, when I first heard this idea that dying in the state was you know, martyr I was just like oh my god I'm just gonna go help everyone now I was so thing and I was
I was urged not to buy people of knowledge were like No, and I was like, because they said no, we can. We want to use your knowledge in different ways. And if you go out there and you get this and it's more difficult than it might affect it later, but somehow it's something I definitely definitely wanted to just because it's such a high status supply law.
So Alhamdulillah This is massive, and you know, just reacting again in a in a way that's going to be worthy of what we want a lot to be happy with us and being patient and content and understanding.
So with that being said, I'm actually done with the lecture inshallah, it was beneficial and inshallah it will help you guys to just, you know, relax and to know, there are a lot of websites out there resources to help keep keep the
Kids busy insha Allah tala and there's like the 123 homeschool for me, that's a website if you want to go and look for resources and pages, another one is called too simple. And it this is for ages three to 11. They have you know different tools, coding animation, publishing art applications for math, spelling grammar. And there is also BBC bite size. It is a free online study support for school age students in the United Kingdom. This isn't the United Kingdom. And then there is a five per day, lots of exercise activities for movements and breaks. There's all these different ones. There's Abdo, which is entire ebook collection,
available to students to access at home for free. There is activity village that provides us 1000s of coloring pages, crafts, puzzles, worksheets, and more. There's the all kids networks, which has free educational resources, worksheets, writing prompts,
snack ideas for parents. So there's bamboo learning, which offers free voice based application Alexa skills that cover a range of different types of academic subjects, including math. And that's it. So Pamela, there's a lot I asked a lot to make it easy for all of you guys out there going through this and to make it easy for every single one of us around the world. And I asked a lot to help us get stronger through during this time and get help us get closer to him. And for us to be happier and understand that there's wisdom behind everything and to accept it and more than anything for us to make dua for each other. And I asked a lot to United again
in this world and the hereafter. I mean, I mean, I mean subhanak Allahumma wobm big shadow and La la la kawakubo like how perfect You are a lot and I praise you. Now no one has the right to worship except you I seek your forgiveness and turn in repentance to you. Just not gonna hide it in a Solomonic Alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh