Keys to Happy Homes

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Zahir Mahmood

Channel: Zahir Mahmood

Episode Notes

Jumuah Lecture at Masjidul Quds Gatesville Cape Town, 11th January 2019

Episode Transcript

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smilla rahmanir rahim

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al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen

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wa salatu salam ala ZD mursaleen molana Muhammad while early he was halaby he woman Surya homebuilt son, Eli Yomi Diem about respected brothers, elders, sisters, steamed scholars. Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah.

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Do. I will apologize from the outset The topic is very broad and I need to fit it in within about 20 minutes. So I will just be touching a few important things which I regard as important.

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And I want to really go back

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to the dawn

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of Nebraska,

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to understand what relationship that the message of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had with his wife, her dgr of the Allah Allah.

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The dawn of Naboo was when the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was in the cave

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and revelation descended upon him.

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And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was very perturbed.

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And the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam at that time had a very large clan, his uncle's were alive or Buddha was alive and others were alive. His good friends like Abubakar of the Allahu anhu, and others were alive. But the interesting thing is that he went to them or nobody else. He didn't go to his uncle's. He didn't go to his friends. But where did he go?

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He went straight to her dgr or the Allah and her his wife. So in a time of turbulence, the robot is a la la la he was alone went to his beloved wife.

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So what did his wife say?

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What did she say?

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She didn't say to him, look.

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I told you not to hang around in caves. This is what happens if you hang around in caves away from the family.

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But what she says she hadn't actually prepared a talk on the life of her beloved sallallahu alayhi wasallam This was impromptu. She gave him encouragement, such encouragement that history records that encouragement until today. She said one lie. She said color will lie, color will lie. To by Allah. la de colo Aveda. She said, Allah will never waste a word Allah will never be. Allah will always remain in your assistant.

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De La la la, la Zika. Lower aberta in Mecca lotto soudal Rahim.

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Allah wa taxable madam, she said in a nutshell, she said, Allah will never forsake you. Why? Because you have qualities that nobody else has.

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The real interesting thing here

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is that in his most difficult time, she was there. And this is what a husband and wife should be like. You know, sometimes you come home and you've got a headache, or you've had a hard day at work and you say to your wife, I've had a really hard day at work, or the wife comes home and she says, I've had a really hard day at work, and you turn around and you say, you know, I had a harder day that you did not mean doing listening.

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That means you are not there for your partner. You could say that three hours later. But in the time of difficulty, a husband is meant to be for the wife and the wife is meant to be for the husband. And this is why Allah subhanho wa Taala when he defines a wife, he said, Lita, escuela LA,

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a man find solace by his wife.

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When he's at a difficult time, you go to your husband, you go to your wife, they're there for you. That's what you call love.

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What we define is love today is what you say Oh, it was love at first sight I saw and I fell in love with

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that eight love.

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That might be infatuation, and maybe something else isn't love. The day that you make the firm conviction after 10 1520 years of your marriage, that you are gonna stay with this person for the rest of your life that is love. That one that you saw and you like the way she looked, you fancy that. And after two years, three years, you thought Nah, we separate that was never love. And if you look into the Arabic language, this is exactly how love is defined. We call it muhabba. The word marhaba comes from the word Hubba. Hubba means a seed. you sow the seed and then you work on it.

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You work on that seed. And after a very, very long time, that seed, it gives its fruits, it gives us vegetation. But you have to water it, you have to plow it. This is muhabba.

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And we have this concept of, you know, marriage. You watch these three hour, four hour movies, and they lived happily ever after. And you think, yeah, that's what I want the rest of my life to be a honeymoon. There's one ingredient missing in that, and that is hard work.

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And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, and so beautiful had these. He said, Hey, you can hire

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me. He said the best Have you listened to these brothers carefully. The best of you are those who are the best to the family, and I am the best to my family. And another region related by mom to MIDI, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said to him of whom he said if the entirety of humanity regard you as good but your family don't regard you as good in the eyes of Allah you are no good. Sorry if the if the entirety of humanity regard you as good and your family regard you as no good in the eyes of Allah you are no good. And if the entirety of humanity regard you as bad, but your family regard you as good in the eyes of Allah, you are good, you know why? Because these are

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the people who have the most contact with you.

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You meet brothers and you meet sisters in the masjid. And you think you say bro, your Allah if I had the sister of Allah He I would give this brother my sister

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if I had, you know, a brother, what's so beautiful Hey, job, everybody look good in a machine.

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In a machine everybody's looks good. Salaam Alaikum Brava Yaki. Mashallah.

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But how are you with your family? That's what really counts in the eyes of Allah and His little soul. That's the teaching, how are you with your family, if you cannot be good with your families, no good, being really good with other people.

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These are your people your first contact, these are the closer that's where you took your vow. That's the person that you said that you want to remain. You took a hard with Allah.

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You took a HUD with the last panel dollar, that you would be good to that person.

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And this is why the brothers are lost on him said the best of you is he or she who is the best to their family. And their message in law said I am the best to my family. I am the best to my family. And you know the worst thing with all these activities. When a husband and wife don't get on the greatest casualty are the children.

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They are the greatest Casualty.

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And you hear husband and wife often you speak to them, they come in to see you and they say you know I would do anything with my children. I work day and night for my children. I say simple. Why don't you get on with your spouse? What are you making effort? They're

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successful happy home. Brothers. When you go home, go home with a smile.

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Leave your mercy but outside don't have all smiles only for outside and no smiles at home. When you enter your home smile.

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Khadija roseola and Jose is never the Messenger of Allah into the home but he had a smile upon his face. One way I find this amazing. I'll tell you why I find it amazing. Because this was the Moroccan period in the life of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. There was never a morning. We should not bring a new trial. Never an evening which you don't bring a new tribulation. They night. Can you imagine the province of Larson would go out to muck up and he would walk through the streets of Makkah and he would see below the aleinu being dragged through the streets of Makkah until his skin came from his back. Can you imagine the brothers that Lawson would go out and he will see Mr.

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Yasuo sumiya the mother the Father, the child being persecuted, and he would walk up to america this is all he could do at the time and he will rub his hand over the head of a man and he will say sublinear Allah Yasser for in Nemo in the common agenda, he would say oh family of yours should have sober because I swear by Allah your abode by Allah agenda.

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And then after seeing all this,

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after seeing all this, the purpose of Muslim walks home and as the leader of the Illa Allah says, never did the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam enter the house but he had a smile on our face. We You and I are good for the dunya

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We are good for the denier but the people that we should be good for we got no time for them. And the time of Rosie Ilana, and everybody knows who Omar was.

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When he was a mirror mom, we need one of his governors came into his home. And he saw a model of the law no kissing a child.

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And he said, amirul mumineen do you kiss children?

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He said, Yes. He said, don't you can shoot and he said, No, no, me. When me I walk into the house is locked down. Nobody moves. Even the fish stop swimming.

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That's my own addition. Yeah, that's my own addition. There was no goldfish in Makkah.

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Omar of the Alon who had this man demotivated from his post, and he said that person who is harsh upon his family has no status in this oma

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has no status in this. Omar, I want to ask you a question. Now. This is a serious question. When you go home, as fathers, as mothers, when you when you open the doors. Do your children come running to you? Or do they run away from you?

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I remember I said exactly the same statement in Joburg. And there was a molana sitting there. And he's and he and he came to me and he said she will lie he that reminds me of my childhood is that we will be sitting with our mother. We would hear our father's car park up. And because our father was so harsh, we would run La ilaha illa Allah.

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Look at the life of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he was sitting with a man. He was a Bedouin and the province of Allah and there was someone was kissing one of his grandchildren. And then this Bedouin said to the Prophet, Allah said, O Messenger of Allah, you kiss children.

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And the problem is a lot of them said, Yes, I kiss children.

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He said, I have 10

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they don't make them like they used to. I have 10 and I have never kissed any of my children.

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I have 10 children and I've never kissed any my children. Listen to the words on the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said our umbilical Luk our umbilical lock Waka nezzer Allahu Ramadan.

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He said, Is there anything I can do for you?

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Is there anything in this Deen for you? When Allah has removed Rama from your heart?

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Look at the word when Allah He wasn't he wasn't beating the children. He wasn't he was scolding the children. And I'm not saying that you should never tell your children off.

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Sometimes they need to be disciplined. When you look at the Robert de la sala emblica laquan. McDonald pelvic said Is there anything in this religion for you? When Allah has removed Rama from your heart? Brothers, sisters, really assess ourselves? How are we with our families? One line? You don't have to be good to me. As long as you're not bad to me. Allah will not ask you but what law he alone will ask you regarding your spouse's. They will ask you

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you know, there was a narration of the Barbizon La la la was a group of people came to the protests that loss in them and listen to this very, very carefully. They came to the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and they said O Messenger of Allah. There is a woman to Sumo to suddenly she prays and she forests to zoom over to Sally she prays and she fast. But she has one problem to the giraffe.

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But she inconveniences her neighbor. And I went to check this in region to see if the neighbor was a Muslim or non Muslim. I couldn't find any mention of the religion of the neighbor. So the verbiage she said she prays and she fasts, but she inconveniences her neighbor, the province Allah said he or she will be in the fire of jahannam. The Alomar writes something really interesting in the neatest in the region. They say if this person prayed and fasted,

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but inconvenience to the neighbor and ended up in the fire of jahannam. Then what about that person?

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Who is harmful and hurtful to their spouse?

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What about that person

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who's harmful and hurtful to their spouse? So brothers, this is a dean of Rama.

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This is a deed of hope.

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And if you can't pray Rama with the people within your homes, then it's game over. You know the Messenger of Allah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Allah will have mercy upon those who have mercy upon those on the earth, on the day of judgment when you will need Allah as mercy.

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Lord have mercy upon you on one condition. One condition that you had mercy upon other human beings

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Mr. Say this nerd this generation is Algis Armand Jensen Amal, Allah will deal with you the way you dealt with the creation of Allah. If you are a person who could never show mercy to other people, you were too big, then a lot of the day that you would need Allah mercy, Allah will not show you mercy, like you did not show other human beings mercy. If that is the case.

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If that is the case, then what about that person who could not show mercy to his own children? mercy to his siblings, mercy to his wife, mercy to the husband? What about that person? And this is why brothers sisters,

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you know, this is very, very important that we get our homes, right. Because one of the reasons that we have so many different children is that there is no solace no peace, no tranquility at home. Why, why why do we have so many children? And look, I you may think, Oh, this guy's coming in. He's patronizing us, you know, he's from the UK etc. 100. I lived in South Africa for three years, many left in 94. So I know the South African setup.

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And therefore we need to be people who who show mercy. We need to be people who give hope to other individuals, not just to our families. The problem is Allah Salaam, voted D, which gives hope to people who are the vast majority, who are the vast majority of people who embraced Islam. Early people they were people who were nobodies in society. Why did they because the prophets Allah gave them hope. He gave the show them mercy, they achieved something that they have never ever seen before.

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And this is why if we can't show Listen, if you can you and I can't show mercy within our homes.

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Then forget about speaking about the Ummah, because we will never have tranquility and this is why we have so many children who find more peace and tranquility on the streets, then they show then they find that home, because why mum and dad are always at loggerheads, Mum and Dad are all the squabbling, fighting. They rather hang out with the boys. They rather take start taking, they find more affiliation in gangs and they find a home they find more peace with the gangsters and then they find out and I'm not justifying gangsters, but I'm saying if you want if you want an Ummah

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that starts at home, then you will create if you create the home, you will create a community, you create a community you will create a nation you create a nation you will create an oma but if you can't create anything at home, that dream on and I don't want to make people feel bad because sometimes it's out of your hands. You know, some marriages are so messed up your spouse, but generally, generally if you're a good person, if you give you will be reciprocated. The problem with too many Muslims is that we like civil rights activist, you know, we in into the marriage and we say,

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here's my rights. You see my baby, you see my rights. These are my rights. This is the male's rights. She's got her list, these are my rights, you see my rights, you end up like civil rights, action. These are my rights, no give rights and you will receive rights.

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The people of giving not people of taking a marriage is the place where you give and then you get in return. Not that you always want you know all your [???]. I'm the husband, here's my right she doesn't fulfill my rights. She's got her list, or she my husband never fulfilled my rights.

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Give rights.

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look after each other show Rama and my time is up. So I'm gonna finish on one duration here. And remember this generation

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you've all heard this ratio, but it's amazing narration or Rama. But when we're given different understandings of narration, you heard and ration related by Muslim Mr. Bahari and others of the lady from bunny surah. He, she was the lady who was of a loose character. The narrator mentioned that she liked to touch and she likes to be touched.

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So one day she sees a dog.

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It has its lapping it has his tongue out out of thirst.

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And she feels sorry for this dog. And she descends into the well. And some durations that she took over a sock and some nurses she took off a shoe. So she takes off a shoe and she fills it with water. And then she holds the shoe full of water between the teeth and then she climbs up.

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So she climbs up and then she gives this dog water dog. They call it an if you want to offend somebody English you call them a dog if you want to offend them in order to see whether you call them a quota. If you want to offend them Arabic is even worse you call him kill

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According to the three modes of nudges, according to the Maliki's, they say that love is permitted to a degree.

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To a degree.

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It's impure animal, she gave it water. And Allah subhanaw taala forgave this woman who was a prostitute. And if Allah forgives you, you're going to gender. On the other hand, we have a narration that there was a woman who stabbed a cat. And the cat died a cat. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that she will be thrown into the fire of Gen.

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Y is Allah and His Rasool giving you an eye examples of cats and dogs. Think about it, using a line that has nothing better to do then give examples of cats and dogs. The reason that a lender sued are giving example of cats and dogs with Allah saying, if you have mercy upon a dog, which is an impure species, you have mercy upon it, Allah will forgive you, whatever, if you have mercy upon another human being, whatever if you have mercy upon your wife, your husband and your children.

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If you are cruel to a cat,

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then alive little Sula saying

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that Allah will throw you into the fall of Johanna, what about if you're cruel? You got maids at home? Whatever if you're cruel to meats.

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What about if you're cruel to other human beings? What about if you're cruel to your wife, your husband, your children? And this is why brothers

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be people have mercy. If you weren't allowed on the Day of Judgment,

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then have Rama upon other people

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and have Rama law he upon those who nobody else has the law. And I say this, the province allows them to suffer was that he was taxable makhdoom he helped those who are mad Do you know what the word would do means? When when Khadija define if she's a taxable madam, you help madam the word madam come from the word and Adam at the means nobody's in society.

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Work in those townships don't have stereotypes of other people. Yesterday I was in Menem Burg which they called min Burg now Yeah, I was in Manipur with one Abdullah man. And one lie I saw saw the work that Mona Abdullah was doing. One man could get jobs in other places, but he works in that place works from evening and I was shocked the day before that I was in Khayelitsha, Senior Corps and

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we and you mean you have stereotypes regarding these people we will justify to us that we should not help them because of this and this and this. But the Messenger of Allah, Allah He was not like that. He helped those who nobody was ready to help. And that's where they're rewarded. You can be good to share the heat is easy, but be good to those who are my Doom that is the son of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, the man came into the machine and he urinated and the prophets Allah Salam said, Stop, leave him, let him urinate, let him finish. He finished. And then there was a lesson said this is a place where you do not urinate. And the man said, may Allah have mercy upon me

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and Mohammed, some Muslim and nobody else because the others were ready to attack him. And he said, look at the character called the Bravo Salah Salem did not buy into stereotypes like you and I had, so I make dua that Allah subhanho wa Taala give us the trophy to be people of Rama, that Allah subhanaw taala give us unity, that last one that Allah keepers united in the near united in general for those and I want to thank the machine committee for giving me the opportunity. And you know what?

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There is a seven of us from the UK, obviously in Cape Town many times, personally personally, and I've traveled the world by the grace of Allah subhanaw taala

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I think you have the most beautiful city, natural city in the world.

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Mr. shalabh The brothers and the sisters that we met in Cape Town, Mashallah the warmth and the welcome Alhamdulillah May Allah reward you may last month I'll give you an increment in it. But appreciate what Allah has given you. A

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couple of years ago, I gave a talk in Baltimore. So I was a I gave a talk in Baltimore. I said, I want to give a talk in portable. Baltimore is very famous in the UK. And I said to the inmates, I said, You know, I feel sorry for you guys. So you live in the most beautiful city in the world, and you're banged up here.

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So May Allah subhanaw taala keep all your heart united in the dunya and we are lost $1 united agendas for those military moms of chef Baraka Luffy from Santa Monica.