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Before You Say I Do – EP20 – PT 1

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Yassir Fazaga

Channel: Yassir Fazaga

Series:

Episode Notes

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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Fulfilling the dean from this forever.

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Already we let him know shaytani r rajim Bismillah Alhamdulillah wa salatu salam ala rasulillah All praise is due to Allah and made his peace and blessings be upon our beloved prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. We begin by greeting all of our brothers sisters and viewers out there saying Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

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In the past few episodes, we have been talking about compatibility time bombs. And we said that these are problems that do not present themselves immediately. But rather, they emerge over time. And initially, there is really not a big deal, a sense of a big deal that is felt. However, through the passage of time, depending on what kind of a compatibility time bomb we're talking about, then that is one problems may emerge, we spoke about significant age difference. We spoke about different religious back grounds. And now we are going to speak about another time bomb. But remember, also, let me just say something about the religious background that we spoke about. Last time, we said

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that Islam does allow for Muslim men to marry people from the people of the book, which is fine. And by the way, a good number of people have accepted Islam, a good number of women that is have accepted Islam, due to this idea of Islam, allowing men to marry people from the people of the book. And that is part of the tolerance of Islam, by which people are said, we recognize that you have received previous books from and in anticipation, and in hope that these people would be admitted back to the field or to the fold of Islam. We allow, or we Muslim men are allowed to marry from the women of the People of the Book. And like I said, in the States, so many women came back to Islam as

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a result of this idea of marriage. Today, we have a different one. And that is different, social, ethnic, or educational. That ground as much as Islam says that celebrate our diversity. Yeah, yohannes in the Holocaust, in the Korean War, would you come? Sure, Reuben wakaba, Isla de kado. All Mankind, we have created you from a single pair of male and female we made into different nations and tribes so that you may know each other, indeed, the most honorable of you, in the sight of Allah are those who are most God. conscious. Islam does call people to celebrate their diversity. And that is one of the beauties of Islam. You know, all you have to do is just go into a Masjid, where do you

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cannot tell which cultural background do people come from? What caste do they belong to? What socio economic status do they have? Simply when we go to the masjid? Everybody stands there, and we are all equal in the sight of God. There was a Hindu man, that once came to the masjid and he was observing these Muslims as they were doing prayers, and their prayers were the woofer or the answer prayers. And he could not hear anything of what was said, but the statement of Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. So that stuck in his mind. And he said, You know, I really don't understand what was being said, because it was a silent prayer. But I heard this statement being repeated all

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the time. Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar, Allahu Akbar. What does it mean? So somebody said, it means that God is greater. And he said, Wow, he said, this is the best democracy that I have seen in life, where people come together, and they all equally declare that only God is great. And that's a beautiful observation that is made by a non Muslim said that we all come in. And equally, every single one of us declares that no one is greater than Allah subhanho wa Taala. Not me, not the person on my right, not the person on my left. So there is this general call for people to celebrate their diversity. In fact, what is beautiful about the verse that we just recited from Surah Al Herat

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is the reason of the circumstances during which it was revealed. It said that after the conquest of Mecca, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. It was Salah time, and the process silom asked Bilal to call the exam. So we all got on top of the Kaaba, and he is calling the Amazon and some of the elites have arranged or what remained of operation that people have Mirka. They were so upset that a former slave now is on top of the Kaaba calling the Asan so they made a statement saying I'm Elijah Muhammad lawyer has an aura believe as in feanor. He said that Mohammed not find a better person than this black Raven to call the Zan and that is how immediately Allah subhanho wa Taala. These

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were the circumstances

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says that during which the verses were revealed, and people do vary from others who differ from them, either in ethnic background, or social background or educational background, and there is nothing wrong with this. However, we said that it might be a potential time bomb, where the problems do not emerge immediately. But rather they present themselves over time. What happens is that too many differences create tension. Now, there is a difference between too many personality differences, they create tension, but to add to it, personalities, clashing, and creating tension. And on top of this, because we come from a different background, ethnic and social, and educational

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background, that can create so many tensions and too many tensions, they are an invitation to travel. And what happens initially is that we try to accept how others are simply because we want to create harmony, and we want to create, you know, a feeling of peace at home. Initially, some of these some of these things, they may be fun, for example, you marry an Indian girl, and she cooks food for you, and she thinks it smile, and you think it's wild, because you go crazy, because of the food that you just ate. Now, a difference like this is really and may not be a big deal, because people will eventually learn to compromise, you either get used to spicy food, or she gets used to,

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you know, food that is not so very spicy. But it is a difference. But it adds to the to the diversity is part of the celebration of the diversity. So what happens when people come from different ethnic or social or educational background, we may not have enough in common part of what makes marriage beautiful is that to share with the person, the more you have in common, the more you have to share, for example, people who have studied in the same field, there is so much for them to share together, people who are involved in the same type of business, or people who have the same type of cause they have something in common to share, the more we have to share, you know, what

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happens is that it creates more ground for good communication, you know what I'm talking about, she knows what I'm talking about. And that creates so much ground for good communication. However, what happens when we don't have anything in common? I remember once a brother came to me, and he said, I love politics. That is what I want to talk about all the time, I want to talk about what's going on in the Middle East. I want to talk about what's happening in Latin America. I want to know what's going on in West Africa. I want to know what's happening in this place and that place and how is this affecting the world. They said I talked about it was my friends, I come home, my wife hates

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politics. My wife cannot stand politics. She doesn't want to talk about politics. I am home every single day for five hours before we go to bed. Sitting was my wife. My wife doesn't want to talk about politics. Well, what does your wife like to talk about my life, my wife, my life, my wife likes to talk about fashion. She loves to speak about food. She loves to make things she loves to rearrange the house. She said when we go there, she wants to talk about things or do things that I really hate. And I really want to talk about politics. But there is nothing in common. So you know what eventually people end up doing, everybody starts living their own separate lives. Even though

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they live under the same roof. People start having their own separate lives, they are together. But in reality, they really are not. together. It's either this, sometimes everybody tries to find their own circle of friends that would address the issues of their passion. So the husband starts spending less time at home, because he's going to be with people that love to speak about this, or he's going to have people over who loved now the woman is going to be feeling lonely, I got married yet, the man is not here. Or the friends are coming over all the time. And all I do is I serve them and I serve my husband. And that is the end of it. And that is just draining my energy. And I don't have

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time with my husband. So the more we have in common, the more spices that will be added to our relationship. So with that brother, he came in, and he said I just don't know what to do. She does not speak my language and I do not speak her language. She hates politics. I love politics. And by the way you can exchange politics for anything else. People love history. People love to talk about sports, some and all they talk about is video games. Some people only like to talk about movies and movie stars and singers and songs and CDs and some of it is rubbish.

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Some of it is, you know, so you look into this and you say, but why is this happening? Some of it are a good part of it is because people come from a different ethnic, educational or a socio back ground. Now, another problem, so also that may have is that people may have different values, let's face it, even though we come from different cultures, we have different values. Let me give you an example. One day, a brother was so offended, he has married a white girl from in the US, and his parents happen to be visiting. So what she did is that she sat down, and she had her, you know, she had her feet up, where the bottom of her feet was shown to people. And of course, people who come

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from Eastern culture, that is absolutely a great insult. I remember when I went to school in the US, it was very common that the students would have their feet up high on the chair, facing the teacher, nobody was insulted. Everybody took it, as you said, the way that makes you comfortable, and that's fine with me. Nobody is insulted by this. We come from a culture that says look in your elders in the eye is disrespectful. An older person comes in so you talk to them and you are looking down. You come to the US, you do not establish eye contact, what do people think of you? You've got something wrong with your self esteem, you don't feel good about yourself, do you? So now they start

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questioning your own sense of self worth, you know, what are you so different, different ethnic background, they present different types of challenges. Apart from the fact that we may not have much in common, we may also bring in different values. We will say more about this topic after we take a short break. So please do stay tuned with us.