What is Islamic Ruling of Not Allowing a Parent to Visit their Child Q&A

Yasir Qadhi


Channel: Yasir Qadhi

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AI: Summary © The speakers discuss the negative impact of parents not being able to handle their children, which can lead to negative emotions and negative consequences. They stress the importance of finding a neutral third party in a situation and finding fine tune to one's knowledge and skills. They also stress the importance of praying differently in the context of the Sharia system and not bringing up controversial opinions. The speakers emphasize the need for parents to be considerate of their children and avoid accusations of malicious behavior.
Transcript ©
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many Mina most Nene

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Salam Alaikum Warahmatullahi Wabarakatuh what hamdulillah All praise is due to Allah subhana wa taala, the one and the unique. It is here alone that we worship, and it is His blessings that we seek. He is the Lord of the oppressed, and he answers the dua of the week. Today, shallow, taller, we'll be doing a number of questions. Our usual q&a Is today on Tuesday. And our first question is actually a summarized version of many questions that have been emailed to me and once again, please email me questions at the email address that is on your screen. Or you can look up yasur.com Call the sorry, you can also doesn't want or ask why Q is the better one for the emails, ask why Q at

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Epic Masjid dot orgy ask why Q is the special email account? That is for my question. So I get many, many questions, I choose the ones that are gonna be the most relevant. And I try to combine some of them. And this one is a combination. And that is basically a lot of distressed.

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Parents have emailed me who have gone through divorces, and they are being deprived of the right to see the children by their ex partners. Sometimes it's the husband, sometimes it is the wife. And there are saying what is the Islamic verdict? What is the Islamic ruling on not allowing the partner to visit the child to visit their own children, but because of the divorce, whatever, so then another person has gone to another state or they have fled or for whatever reason, they are not allowing the parent to visit the child.

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Now, obviously, I'm going to seek in in generic terms, and this is a very difficult and awkward question because it is very specific based. This doesn't mean that we cannot give a generic answer. But what it means is that my generic response cannot be extrapolated to any one individual scenario, without a person of knowledge checking your own situation. So you may take this response as a general guideline, as the blueprint that the Sharia has overall. But understand that you must get a person of knowledge to look at your particular case, you must get a fatwa for your individual case, when it comes to this issue. And it is not allowed to simply take a generic response and apply it to

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your particular scenario. So let me just say, very broadly speaking, that we can state that in terms of custody, the vast majority of our scholars have given this as a general guideline, that the custody of the children in the case of the divorce, yes, it is going to be looked at through the lens of the generic guidelines, but you must always have a judge or a scholar, look at that particular case, and then decide what will be in the best interest of the child. And that is because people very mothers, very fathers very sometimes one of the parents might be mentally disturbed, sometimes one of them might not be able to take care of the child for reasons beyond the scope of

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what is typically normal. So the judge or the scholar will look what is the best interest of the child and that will be the priority. However, the general rule is that young children, babies, toddlers, children that are not yet able to, you know think independently for themselves. So this is called Cinder tummies and think independently is not the the age of puberty. The age of puberty is after this. Think independently means you know, maybe like eight years old, seven years old, where they can answer have a small conversation, they know what's going on a little bit. So that is called Cinder tummies. And then older than this is Cinder boodle or the age of puberty, puberty. So

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generally speaking, the majority of scholars say that children that are beneath the sin tummies, which is two years old, a baby, you know, five years old, that they will be given to the mother. And this is the default ruling, and the mother has more right to the children. to rear them. This does not mean that the husband does not have the right of visitation. It simply means the default is that the mother is biologically and psychologically more suited for the raising of the children in that age. And as the children get older, here's where the scholars differ in the methods differ. Some say they automatically default to the father or when they get to an older age. And some say that at that

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stage, it is up to the children they can alternate, you know, whatever is convenient for the two of them. So that's easier to do when the children are older. Now of course the problem comes multiple facets. First and foremost, this is all theory and a lot of times

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After a bitter divorce after a battle of you know, possessions and whatnot, that one of the two partners once wants to basically inflict psychological harm on the other. And it is very sad to state that they use the children to get their point across, they use the children as an act of revenge. And this is a sad reality that we will get to kind of get going to come back to and explain why this is so wrong and harmful. The other issue that comes with these Islamic rulings are independent of the reality in non Muslim lands. So here in America, if you go to the court, the judge is going to look at many factors, the Muslim court would the Islamic court will also look at

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the issue of religion. And so if it is the case that, you know, let's say the mother will not raise the children, she's a non Muslim, so she's not going to raise the children in Islam. So an Islamic court will look at that and say, well, we need to make sure that children are raised as Muslims. However, obviously, in this land and other lands, that is not going to be a priority whatsoever. And even if you were to put it in the marriage contract, it is irrelevant when it comes to the children, religion is irrelevant, and it's not going to be taken into account whatsoever. So we point out that this theoretical talk can only go so far, in the end of the day, the two parents really do, they

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should try their best to, to reach an arbitration between them, even if a divorce has taken place. They should not take out their anger and their irritation through the children. And this is something that Allah He honestly, it is a very sad reality. That indicates and I say this bluntly, whichever parent uses the children, to get back at the other parent, frankly, that parent has not shown the dignity and not shown the decency, and frankly, not even the intellectual maturity, that is befitting of a parent, you're going to take your anger against your partner whom you are with and with whom ALLAH blessed you with a child, no matter what happened happened. But there is a living

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breathing human being that the two of you by the built by the by the will of Allah, and by the blessings of Allah brought forth in this world, you share the bond that is very unique. And there is a person on earth, that He has 50% of your genes, and 50% of the genes of this person, and you love this child. And obviously you love this child, and because you hate your partner, for whatever reasons, and I don't care what he has done, or she has done. And it's both way, by the way, this whole lecture is going to be gender neutral, because sometimes it's the husband, sometimes it's the wife that they're using the children to, to get a divorce, whatever your partner has done, what is

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the injustice that you need to do to the child to get back at the partner? Because Don't you understand that by depriving the child of one of the parents, you are taking away the love and the joy that will come in that child's life? What has the child done wrong, that you're going to use the child as a token, in this vicious battle between the two of you, no matter what the other party has done? That's between you and him? Or you or her? And you will solve that on the Day of Judgment. But don't take your anger out through the child and will lie How foolish is it? How foolish is it? That you bring in the innocent child and you deprive the child thinking that that is going to get back at

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the husband or the ex husband or the ex wife, you know, my message to divorced couples is very, very clear. If you claim to love your children, if you claim to truly love your children, then sacrifice your pride for the love of the child and allow your ego to dissolve away in order for the love and mercy and the heart of the child to grow. I mean, don't you understand that? You know, you think you're getting back at your ex partner by depriving you know a father figure or mother figure in the child's life, that when that child grows up and understands what happens? Don't you understand that they're going to resent you immensely? How come you didn't let my mother my father visit me. And

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here I was feeding these lies are being fed these lies and I have met children like this that grew up I have met many young men and women who were so angry at the one parent who didn't allow them to have access to the other parent and they were so angry, it was difficult for them to forgive in one case, you know, the sister said I can't possibly forgive you know, my mother for not allowing me to be with my my father during the time I was growing up when I needed him the most. This is the reality that we have to face and therapists have to face and trauma experts has to have to face and it is caused by the petty arrogance of one partner wanting to take it out on the other partner and

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wallah. As I said, it shows a lack of maturity. And frankly, it is as if you are being disqualified from being a legitimate parent because you are putting your own selfishness above the interests of the child and that is simply not allowed.

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We have to put the condition here. Obviously, that is if everything is normal if the partner, if your ex, you know, partner is physically dangerous, obviously, I mean, nobody's going to tell you in that case, but let's be honest here, let's be honest here. 95 98% of the time, that's not the case. That's not the case. Some big bickering happened between you and your partner. You know, there was an issue about the jewelry or the house or whatever the money the car, it's the standard issues between a divorce a divorced couple, there was a problem between the two of you words were were passed and money was was disputed over. But you both know, deep down inside, that the both of you

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love that child, but you want to get back and you have the upper hand because for whatever reason, you have the children in your custody, whether by legal law, or whether by you know, social norms, you were able to take the child away. And so now to get back at your ex and to rub it in, and to make him feel or her feel the pain in his or her heart, you're going to use the children to inflict that pain Wallahi. I find I'm really shocked that there are people like this, of course there are because I've met couples that are going through this along with Stan, but as a human to as a parent to a parent well, like, you don't even bring in religion just as a parent to a parent, how could you

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do this? How is the child the child needs a mother or a father or both. And whatever has happened, don't bring in the child. As a token, don't bring the child into the war between two adults. On the contrary, you really want to be a mature parent or mature father or mother, you really want to show your love for the child, then hide as much as you can the battle between your ex partner and for the sake of the child, minimize that conflict and let that child grow up. Don't you understand as well, that when the child grows up and knows the full story, and knows how much you sacrificed in order that you could have one of the other parents in that child's life? Don't you understand that he or

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she will appreciate your sacrifice will love you even more will say to you, you know, Mama, I didn't realize how difficult it was for you to do this. But I appreciate you that are Baba, you know, I know that it was very difficult for you. But I realize now that you went through a lot so that I did have access to the other parent, they will appreciate and make dua for you. And Allah will return to you the love that you gave to the child because this is an act of love. This is what real love is for the child. How can you say you love your son or daughter. And then because you hate your partner, you will deprive your son or daughter of the presence of that partner. We all know what

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Allah I don't need to quote you any survey, or any study. We all know that for a child to grow up. With both parents, it is emotionally intellectually psychologically, it is a million times better than for the child to grow without having one of the two parents it's a psychological disaster. If the parent is alive and healthy, it's one thing if it's gone, but here you have both of the parents are alive. To have a father figure and a mother figure in a child's life. It is a great blessing from Allah subhanho wa Taala and you out of your pettiness and your anger. And you because you begrudge the other partner, you're going to take it out on the villa from the villa. So I say

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bluntly, this is not a manifestation of love. It is a manifestation of foolishness and pettiness, you're allowing your ego and your and your arrogance to get in the way of your children. Now, if it's really bad between the two of you, and sometimes it happens, and you really just cannot stand talking to your ex or whatnot, bring in a third party.

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One of your siblings, you know, Uncle brother or sister or a cousin or a family friend that knew the both of you and say, hey, look, you are going to have the communication in terms of logistics in terms of pickup in terms of drop off, I understand sometimes it's really, really difficult for the to, to even text or communicate about the logistics, if that is the case, okay, bring in a third party and figure out how to do this and don't even have to talk to the other person. Just say, hey, you know, at five o'clock, you know, this middleman, you know, a cousin, a brother, a sibling, you know, my uncle, my aunt, or the child's uncle or aunt, you know, will be standing here, you know,

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pick up and leave and then drop off at this time, whatever it'd be what until things cold out so that at least you can communicate director pickup. But in any case, this is just all logistics. So for the sake of the children, swallow your pride and ego, then I'm going to bring up another point as well. Not just for the sake of love for your children, for the sake of fear of your own akhira for the sake of fear of your own akhira if it's not going to motivate you enough that you love your children, and that's not enough motivation, well then let me add another motivational factor. And that is that you will have to stand in front of Allah subhanho wa Taala and an answer to Allah for

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the injustice that you have done. Because the concept of injustice of loom is something that the court

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Ronnie and Sunnah have come down expressly condemning with the harshest of terms. Allah subhana wa Tada has said in the Quran, about regarding a volume that Allah azza wa jal has forbidden the concept of volume and Allah says well, a yellow limb or a book that your Lord does not do volume, one order book herbivore lamb Elizabeth your Lord never does due to his service, Allah has negated it from himself. In the famous Hadith in Sahih Muslim, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that ALLAH SubhanA wa Allah says they are a body, in the haram to Luna infc wa jal to Hubei in a coma ha Rahman Fela to find out about that, oh, my servants, I have made injustice forbidden upon

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myself, and justice is evil, and it is evil for any entity, and it is evil, even for the Creator. And so Allah says, I have made volum haram upon me, this is a beautiful Hadith, no one has the right to make something haram upon Allah except Allah. And Allah Himself has a code of Sharia that Allah follows. And Allah has made that code for himself because he was going to make the code for Allah and of that code that Allah follows that Allah does not do loom, Allah does not do a boon. And Allah says that the in the Hadith could see I have made it haram for myself, and I have made it haram for all of you as well. What is loom loom is to put something in a place that it should not be put in or

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to deprive something in a place it should be where it should be, and it is not there, this is what room is this child should be in the life of the other parent, this child should have access to the other parent. And the and because of the pettiness, the first parrot has deprived. This is the essence of balloon, and it is a double boom, it's two types of dome or two individuals don't, it is done upon your ex partner, and it is upon the child. So when a parent deprives without any justification, and again, all of these are to be understood, you know, without any justification, obviously, if there's a physical or emotional threat, if there is a genuine worry that one of the

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parents will do something that will permanently harm or damage the child. Obviously, that's a different story altogether. But even in that case, you have to have somebody. In other words, you can't just say, I think he's going to do this, okay, everybody, and he would like to say this about somebody they hate. Okay, but let a third party that is not emotionally invested, let a judge let a scholar examine the evidence and whatnot and see what is the reality we cannot just blame base a verdict on your analysis of your ex because as you understand that there's not going to be an accurate assessment, everybody's going to say, Oh, my ex is crazy, he gets angry all the time. Okay,

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he got angry at you, does he get angry all the time? Is he physically violent towards children, you know, so these are things that need to be looked at by a person who is not emotionally invested. And yes, if there is an actual danger, without a doubt, that is a different story altogether, my point being that when there is no such excuse, or danger, and there is every right of the child and of the ex parent or the ex partner to meet one another, and one of the partners, one of the parents unjustly denies that then volume has occurred to two people and two people can come on the day of judgment and say to Allah against you, they can lodge a complaint in the court of Allah and our

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Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was very, very clear about the reality of doom that in fact, as we know from our *ty out from the Quran, from the Sunnah, we know that when it comes to our own sins, our own shortcomings that inshallah Allah is gonna food and Allah is Rahim. And if we ask you still far and we pray, if we fast, if we go for Hajj, Allah she'll forgive forgive as long as we turn to him, no problem, but when it comes to the health of other people, when it comes to the rights of other human beings, then Allah azza wa jal has said you have to get forgiveness from them. Allah azza wa jal has said it is between the two of you and our Prophet sallallahu. Ala he was

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setting up warned us about the reality of the one who might pray and might fast and might read the Quran. But he takes or she takes the tramples over the rights of other people and will lie he for one parent to not allow the other parent access to the child out of spite. I swear by Allah, this is of the highest doom that is imaginable. You are destroying the humanity of a mother or father and only those who are in that situation. They know the reality of this that you are killing the insides of a mother or father for no reason. And it is appropriate in that case for the other partner if it is looking to raise their hands up to Allah subhanaw taala and make dua against you. But why would

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you do this dear parent dear mother, dear father, fear Allah

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Ah and love your child, fear Allah and love your child, fear Allah on the day of judgment that you have to answer for what you have done. And for the sake of your child, calm down, swallow your pride and ego, overlook your own massive ego that is here and then say, for this child, I will sacrifice my ego. And I'll figure out a way to you know, share some time with the other partner. And like I said, if you need to go through a third party even to do that, and our profits are more in distance, I said that I was going to quote, the Hadith of the man who comes with a lot of good deeds or the woman on the Day of Judgment, lots of Quran and lots of you know, a Baghdad and whatnot. But then

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our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that he has wronged this person, and stolen from that person and leave but of that person, and he's done wrong to so many people. And so Allah will take all of these good deeds like mountains, and Allah will distribute them to everybody else, and he will end up bankrupt nothing on the Day of Judgment. Why? Because he was wronging other people. So what do you think is going to happen? When a child comes and says, Yeah, Rob, my mother forbade me from seeing my father for my entire childhood. My father prevented me from the love of a mother for my entire childhood. What are you going to say on that day? What are you going to say on that day

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when that mother or father who has lived for years, months decades with that pain, with that suffering is going to complain to Allah? Where will all those hundreds go? Why would you give up your hasard? Don't you understand? This is the height of doom to take the injustice from two people in this regard? So I warn you, I warn you against any type of boom, our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, a Volvo Volvo Martin yarmulke, Yama, injustice will come into darkness and grief Ludo mightier implies darkness, anxiety, grief, volume, will bring you grief volume is going to harm you on the Day of Judgment. And so when I say again, I have said this so many times in this in this q&a,

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but again, because it's a very sad topic, and I have received a lot of requests in this regard. And obviously, I cannot do anything other than give you these generic q&a and whatnot. But Inshallah, if this is happening to somebody, you know, send them this response and ask any that Inshallah, if it's your cousin, your relative that is, you know, depriving then you get involved. And I'm asking the family members, I'm asking the a lot of times as well, unfortunately, the arrogance is doesn't just come from the partner, it comes from the partner's mother and father, the partner, siblings, and they say no, because he divorced because she did this, the children are not deserving to go there.

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And our other Biller, again, the entire family becomes arrogant and says, because of the mistakes of the partner, the child was going to be deprived of the love of the other parent, please don't do this. And if you feel there might be a gray area, there might be an actual reason. Like I said, you don't be the judge, you cannot be judges, in your own case, you cannot be judges, in your own case, bring in a neutral party, go to a scholar, a shear who knows the Sharia, or even go to an elderly wise man who's lived through life and knows the realities and asks that, hey, these are the circumstances, you know, we're worried about this aspect. Is this a good enough excuse that

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genuinely? Or do you think we are, you know, making this bigger than it is. And generally speaking, as I said, any type of concerns or issues it can be worked out. Now, one other thing that filter does not dictate is the times that are given to each of the parents. And this is something that the shady I did not come with. And in the modern western systems, they have a very, very precise system, which might be actually counterproductive and intuitive, but that's my personal two cents that you this type of notion of this exact hours or this exact day or weekend, it is the way that they need it to operate. And if it works for them, that's the nothing wrong with that per se. But ideally,

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ideally, parents when you're going through the divorce, then in that process, find an arbitrator who is going to listen to both of your cases, and then decide what is going to work the best for the two of you what is going to work in terms of the children's education the children started via understandably as well, if the two of you are in different countries, different states, you cannot just visit every day or every week, understandably, it becomes even more, you know, logistically difficult. So there has to be long periods without and then long periods with the other. And this is not something that you can give a generic answer to On the contrary, you need to decide this via

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arbitration. And that is why both of the parents should find a third party, a mediator, a person who knows the Sharia and also understands the laws of the land that they live in, and then reach a mutually agreed upon conclusion. And whatever that conclusion is, you cannot deprive the right of the child to visit the other parents or the parents to come visit. As you know, whatever they agree upon. However,

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whatever frequency is agreed upon, like I said, the Sharia does not come with frequencies the Sharia does not come with numbers. But it's just common sense that there should be the presence of the other partner in the life of the child. And in the end of the day, my advice to all of the people who are involved in this, in this type of scenario is to make dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala to soften their hearts and to soften the hearts of their partners in this regard, if they're the ones doing this injustice, and to guide them to decide what is the best decision in this regard, never forget the power of dua never forget reaching out to Allah subhana wa Tada and asking him for his

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help. And I may also make dua for all of you in the situation that may Allah subhanaw taala make your affairs easy for you. And may I also suggest that you read sudo use of intuitive zero so use have to understand that the type of pain that you are feeling, it is not new, it is the reality of being a father or a mother. And Allah has tested many people with different types of tests. And this is a test for you, and you will have comfort and profit Yaqoob and his trust in Allah subhanho wa Taala and eventually the reunion occurs and inshallah pray that as well. Your reunion will also occur soon. Insha Allah Huhtala

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our next question, Sister waters, from Indonesia, emails up acabar, Indonesia. And she asks that she has grown up praying slightly differently than the men of her household. But now she is coming across videos. And she's being told that there are no differences between the prayer of the men and the prayer of the woman. And so she's asking me that what should she do she pray like the way she was taught as a child, and she has a number of differences in your email. Or she should abandon this and change her prayer and pray in a different style.

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Now, since I have started this long series of q&a, and I think I have done over two 300 questions I think by now, since I have started this q&a, I have received hundreds of emails about specific issues of the Salah, about where to place the hands about Fatiha and behind the Imam about Surah saying Amin about how to move the finger in the Dasha, how do you move it up? Once you move it round and round? What do you do? I've gotten all of these emails and have not answered a single one of them. And I will tell you why in today's lecture, I haven't answered a single one of them. The reason that I haven't answered any of these questions about the finer details of the procedure of

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the solder is that these details, frankly, do not x do not affect the validity of the solder in the slightest. And the problem of assuming that only one of these positions is correct and the rest are all wrong. This problem is actually what is one of the root causes of perhaps a type of fanaticism or a type of spreading fitna in the community. The reason being that the claim that only one position, or one opinion is the right one, and all the rest of them contradict the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam is in fact a very dangerous philosophy to hold. And the irony is that it contradicts the actual lived realities of the first generations of Islam, those that are

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called the self, the first generations of Islam. And ironically, there is a disconnect between some groups who claim to follow those generations. And between those actual generations, those early generations tolerated and respected, much more differences, then perhaps a movement that claims to follow that generation Imams shaft very famously remarked, I believe the position that I have come to is correct. But I concede the possibility that is incorrect. And I believe that the position of the other men have the other school is incorrect, but I concede the possibility that it is correct. This is Imam Shafi.

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In other words, I'm fairly certain that yeah, I'm going to follow this position, but I'll acknowledge I could be wrong. And maybe the other position is right Subhan Allah, this is Imam Shafi saying this. So then somebody comes along and says, This is the Huck and the Sunnah. And anybody who does that opinion is upon Balton and bitter. No, this is where fanaticism comes from. This is where dangerous ideas and trends come in, that break the civil harmony that a Muslim society should be upon and unfortunately, unfortunately, so

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Some scholars and some students of knowledge, they make these issues into suna versus vida. And so they say it is sunnah for a man to do this, whatever the filthy position might be, and anybody who does the other is doing something better. And that bit might be the mainstream shafr and madhhab. It might be the official doctrine of the Hanafi madhhab. It might be the Maliki or the whatever somebody might be, but they're gonna say, No, this is what the Sunnah says, And subhanAllah Where do you think the other Muslims are getting their their positions from out of thin air? are they wanting to contradict the Sunnah. And in reality, as a, as I have said, in many, many of the q&a, that this

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is a sign frankly, of

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shallow study of Islam, the more deeper one studies, Islam, and the more in detail, and in depth one goes in all of these mainstream methods, the more one realizes that all of these methods are attempting to discover the Sunnah. In reality, sometimes the evidences are acceptable for multiple interpretations. And there's nothing wrong with that. Yes, agreed. If somebody performs Salah in a way that has no basis whatsoever, I mean, let's say he's jumping up and down during the show who there's something we'll say, obviously, this is this is how long this has been. But let's be clear here, the established schools of law. And these are the four primary schools of Sunni law. And you

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can add some other values or whatever the established schools of law, they have track records that go back 1200 years, 1200 years of scholarship, and each one of them has an entire galaxy of odema, from the second century, Hegira, all the way up until modernity. Each one of them has a system, a developed system, a holistic system, each one of them has too many books that can fill multiple libraries. And they have understood the evidences and responded to the other evidences of the other groups. And they have a holistic and a a well structured methodology. And final result, which is the fifth of all of their schools, and somebody comes along and simply dismisses all of this and says, I

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have discovered the Sunnah way, no, you have not it is one interpretation. It is your interpretation. And it doesn't dismiss the interpretation of all the other people. So my point being that the reason why I have never taken any of these questions is that every single one of the differences between them and hubs, when it comes to the procedure of sunnah is absolutely an utterly inconsequential and trivial so you want to pray with your hands here or here or here or here, or you want to say the Amin behind the imam or not, or you want to say the Fatiha or not all of it is fine, live and let live, follow what you were taught, follow your society and people and let other people

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follow what they are doing. In the end of the day. What we agree upon in the Salah is much, much more than what we disagree upon. Unfortunately, some people they just want to fight and they want to make these trivial differences much bigger. Oh, it is bit hard to put your hands over here or here or here. No, all of it is trying to come from the Sunnah all of it is trying to find evidences from the Sunnah in this regard. And we have to understand that when it comes to differences of opinion, we have to understand that there is a spectrum. And one section of that spectrum is totally acceptable. Once one section of the spectrum of ft laugh is totally acceptable, and generally

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speaking, and by acceptable ideas, I don't mean they're all equally valid. I mean that we should live in that love we should tolerate I mean that we should never consider another opinion within this spectrum to be an invalid opinion. That is an evil opinion that the person who does it is contradicting the Sunnah of the Prophet salallahu idea he was setting up and generally speaking, this spectrum is manifested within the mainstream Sunni movements of Lord Hanafi is the chapter is the magic is in the hamburgers and the other schools that are the smaller schools that also have existed historically, that it is in this spectrum that we find the famous statement that is, it's

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also attributed in the Hadith, but it most likely is the statement of the Sahaba that the difference of opinion amongst the OMA is a mercy from Allah enough Almighty Rama the difference of opinion amongst the OMA is a mercy from Allah subhanho wa taala. And anybody who studies fic will know that the Companions themselves different overhead and how long the combat companions themselves different over the procedures of fic Do you know it is authentically authentically reported that you know some of the Sahaba place their hands here and some of them placed in place their hands they

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or what are you going to do? Are you going to if you were alive, would you go to one of the Sahaba in front and say, Hey, you're not following the Sunnah because, you know, my chef said that the Sunnah is there. Think about this, think about this, right? And so again, the point being the whole notion of rediscovering the Sunnah after 14 centuries of Salah, and somebody comes along and says, This is the way the Prophet system prayed, as if nobody before him ever did that. This is not the he should simply say or somebody should say, in my opinion, according to my PhD had, yes, that's fine. But to make definitive statements, impossible to do now, you weren't there you didn't see. And the

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Sahaba who saw they prayed multiple ways, well known, well attested. If you go back to the actual books of Hadith and the Muslim faith and whatnot, it is well known and well attested multiple ways, which probably indicates brothers and sisters that the prophecy is in mighty pray slightly differently. No big deal. That's really an even if there's, you know, gray area, no big deal. whatever one does. Insha Allah, it's not it's not, you know, a major issue. I mean, the fact of the matter is, no men have different that she's supposed to face. Maccha say, you know, Allahu Akbar, you know, go one, record two search does, you know, they all agree that the hood is Ford motive is

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three, so why not look at the commonality rather than talk about how do we where do we put the hands or where do we move the fingers or the Amin are men and women praying differently and whatnot. Now, if you want to dedicate your life to Islamic scholarship, you want to become a chef and alum or you have the the the the enthusiasm to go deep, then yes, that is a different issue. In private gatherings, you know, you don't need to bring this up in public, you know, if you are following when madhhab. And you want to find fine tune your knowledge and skills and what not, then you may politely debate and say, Hey, what is your evidence? Okay, I have this, how do you respond to that,

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and this is nice and an intellectual exercise. This intellectual exercise should not take place amongst people who are struggling to pray five times a day, this is a great exercise is very fun to do. I do it all the time, when many, many issues, but you do it amongst the people that need to do it. And amongst whom this exercise will actually bring about some benefit. The one who is struggling to pray five times a day for you to come to this person and say, Hey, you're praying wrong, you shouldn't put your hands there. You shouldn't put your this there, your knees go first, your hands go first. I mean, just, you know, tell this person, hey, however you're praying, good. Just pray

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five times a day, however you're praying is good. May Allah accept, you know, as long as this booth and obviously, again, let me just be clear, because Allah has tested me people love to take five second clips and create much drama out of this. What I'm saying is, as long as it's one of the acceptable schools of law, obviously, if somebody is doing something, that none of the schools of law allows us praying in a direction other than the qibla, for example, obviously, then we're not talking about that we're talking about within the acceptable schools of law, somebody has a different opinion. So if you're studying full time, and you want to go into deeper evidence is no

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problem. This is where for those audiences, yes, talk about this issue. Now, this sister did ask me what is my opinion on this issue? And like I said, firstly, my opinion is irrelevant when great Roma has spoken, and it's not something new. It's not something classic. It's like Been there done that. But if you insist to No, I will say, like I said, the matter is easy. It's wide and open. It's not a big deal. If a sister feels that she should pray exactly like the men, which is the position of some of the scholars of our times, because there's no authentic hadith, in which the Prophet salallahu alayhi wa sallam specifically said to a lady that you should pray differently, and I repeat, there

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is no authentic hadith, according to many scholars of Hadith. And again, it all goes back to, according to whom, because that's the whole point. When I say there's no authentic hadith. That's perhaps my opinion, and the opinion of many other scholars of Hadith, but it's not definitive, you will find another group of scholars say, well, there is this hadith and I think it's authentic, and perhaps other rules. I don't think it's authentic, what is the average person going to do? This is why you must blindly follow the lead of a scholar whom you trust. And in any case, you're asking me, I would say, that even though there is no authentic hadith, and therefore, because of this, one

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group of of scholars have said the woman should pray like the man and I understand that, however, the vast majority opinions since the time of the setup themselves, is that a woman should pray in a manner that is more modest than that of a man and therefore, her such the in her such that her body should be closer and closed up and her hands should also be more you know, towards her body. And in her record, as well should be as the point being this group and who is this group? It is the default position of the Hanafi is the Shaffir is the magic is in the hundreds then we repeat

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With that, it is the default position of all of the Mytho hips, that the lady prays in a slightly different manner than the men. And again, the irony of ironies for movement to come and say, We're following the setup on the actual set of themselves. Clearly, and the irony here as well, we have authentic narrations from from a number of Sahaba. In this regard, as well, it is attributed to added to the Allah one that he said either solid or to death is well done. Firstly, they have that if a woman prays, let her be extra cautious. And also let her put her feet are her thighs closer together, like meaning when she goes into such depth, let her body and her you know, stomach be

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closer to her thighs, and even a model the Laquan said, would command the women of his household to fold their limbs when they were doing in such the so here we have the actual scholars and the tab your own and the sahaba. And there are many for the tebboune as well, who are clearly saying that, you know, a woman should be a little bit more protective of her modesty. And the reason for this is that their understanding their understanding that there's general rules of the Sharia that can apply over here. And those general rules mean that a lady should overall be more protective of her, you know, body and her chastity and well not chastity, but of displaying her body. And when she goes

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into says that when she goes into the court, then obviously it is better for it to be more covered up. And so put your hands closer together. And this is common sense. You don't need to have an explicit Hadith for everything when there are generic texts that give you that same interpretation. And that is why brothers and sisters, the default of the OMA really has been that a lady pray slightly differently than that of a man. Nonetheless, I stand by what I said in the first part of this q&a. And that is that if you really believe that she should pray the same way because you think that is the correct position. So be it do so. But don't make a controversy, meaning don't, don't

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create animosity or hatred and don't make the other person feel as if they're against the Sunnah. This is the problem, I don't have a problem, you follow your opinion, even if it's a minority opinion with no problem, you do that. And it's between you and Allah subhanho wa taala. But I really have a problem when a person follows an opinion of one share for one mentor, but one will steer one Islam q&a site and then thinks all the other opinions by reputable odema or Boulton one of the main goals throughout this q&a has always been to teach tolerance and compassion when it comes to our fake understandings. And that's why I'm bringing up this question. And I'm not gonna inshallah go

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into all the other questions about saying, mean or whatever. It's not my goal for this q&a about which madhhab is correct. They're all valid. Inshallah I have one of the methods that I do no problem. And I, you know, we may be in a lecture about fit, which is not the q&a that I do, maybe we'll talk about these advanced opinions and who says what, but that's not what a person who is just learning to pray should do. And if you ask my advice to your sister, I would actually advise you to follow whatever your society does, because conformity and fit and in the med hubs to your society, and your household is the ease that the shady eye wants, you shouldn't bring something new and bring

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something that is going to be considered controversial to your family members in your household. If it is within the Sharia. I want to talk to you about something haram No, this is not haram if your family and the women of your family and even the men of your family are accustomed to seeing the woman pray in a particular manner then my advice to you is don't rock the boat and stick with the majority of the woman disregard and follow what your parents and your society and culture has taught you and this will be best nonetheless if a person insists and believes it is the Sunnah for the woman to pray, just like the mat that is your opinion and he had and you have all is your he had in

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choosing the opinion you're not qualified to make use to have that is your he had your reasoning in choosing a scholar? And that's between you and Allah azza wa jal and you're fine for doing that. But do not consider the others to be invalid without insha Allah Allah we come to the end of today's q&a. I will see you next week at night to Allah was salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato. What's going on longer fee a yummy

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do that.

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Feminine died Jaffe Khomeini fella is gnarly he woman that I follow fella is now really hilly Manny dunkel. What Delco long hour. Oh, and Uncle Elaine, to show

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