Channel: Yasir Qadhi
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Mina shavon hongji
Do you want a
woman to do
hamdulillah we praise Allah subhanho wa Taala, the one and the unique, he alone It is when we worship and it is his aid that we seek. He is the Lord of the oppressed and the one who answers the call of the week. So today, shallot Allah, we're going to continue discussing our series about the descriptions of gender. And in our last lesson, I had done the issue of the visitations And of the people being able to see one another in gender interactions, and one small aspect left from that as well. And that is that a person's place in Jenna continues to be decided, even after this person leaves and our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told us Hadith is an urban manager in La Jolla,
Latour, Frodo Raja to fulfill genetti that a person's rank in gender continues to rise up for yopu Anahata. So the man will say, how is this happening? Where is this rising coming from? And so he will be told for you all be still fiery while a deca laka because your son was making or your daughter's, meaning your child was asking for forgiveness for is still fall for you. Now, this obviously will not actually take place inside of genda. rather well, because that would not make any sense because he knows where he's going to be. Rather what it appears is that this is happening in the harbor. And the person has shown, you know, a plot a palace replacing agenda. So he's shown this
is his place. And then he keeps on getting an upgrade, it's getting better. And that's the point in Nara Jolla, la todo de Raja to who and this is a very good point. And it is especially consoling for those who love whose loved ones have gone on. To handle that, there's still things you can do to increase their place in gender. And so what to do after they pass away, will actually impact them and make them happy, it'll make them happy, as this headline says, in rajala, like to refer to who that his data will continue to rise up higher and higher, until he is going to wonder what is going on. And as he is rising higher than obviously what is going to happen is better things will be shown
and more blessings will be shown. And that will be because of what his children are doing. Now, obviously, this is not going to take place in Ghana, because everybody will be there already in general, including the children that are making you still fall for him. So some people read this, and they think that he's going to be rising up in gender when he's in gender. But then the question is, where are the children at this point in time, they can't be on Earth, because then, you know, obviously agenda means that the kiama has taken place. So this is a constellation for us, all of us whose loved ones have moved on, that we can help them and have their places rise up in gender that
was related to the issue of the status of gender. Okay, today, we're going to inshallah to either move on and talk about a topic that, frankly, is considered awkward by many people, and non Muslims always problematize this issue. And the fact of the matter is, sadly, they make fun of our religion, because of it. To make matters worse, immature people, especially immature young men, from our own culture, they make matters worse, they don't they definitely don't make don't make it any better when they crack childish jokes about this issue, and especially, you know, in front of
their women folk or their wives. And obviously, understandably, it's not something that is mature, it is not something that is beneficial, and it makes matters worse, overall. And the topic therefore does bring up uncomfortable issues, especially amongst our sisters. And sadly, many of our brothers don't even understand why it would be uncomfortable. They never think if they were, you know, the other gender fellow will because it's all US Allah's Will which gender we are born, that if Allah had willdan and these same brothers that are insensitive to the issues of the sisters, if they were born over the other gender, how
Would they feel in this regard. So all of this is a very convoluted topic. And frankly, it is something that one lecture cannot do justice to. But still, something is better than nothing. Now I'm going to begin this topic about the companions of gender and the partners of gender. I'm going to begin by contextualizing why there is so much awkwardness. And that's something that needs to be done. Because a lot of times, we don't understand that our own cultural norms are actually affecting how we view sex and virility and sexuality. The whole concept of sex and sexuality is a very, very culturally sensitive topic. And what we fail to understand is that different cultures have different
sexual mores, different cultures, view, sex and sexuality very, very differently. And the main reason why this topic in particular is so awkward for our Western English speaking culture is because of the trajectory that sexuality has taken in the Western Hemisphere. And all of us by virtue of the fact that we have been born and raised in these lands, that all of us have absorbed some of those values, and we have to face the criticism and mockery from those outside of our faith. So we need to understand first and foremost, contextualize how societies viewed sexuality. Now, this is not a talk on that and what can be said. But one can basically give three broad paradigms
examples it very, you know, just demarcate three, if you like, overall paradigms, the first paradigm is a society being extremely promiscuous, one can say they have no concept of higher no concept of decency whatsoever, and all aspects of sexuality are in your face. And perhaps ancient Rome is one of those that we can, and also the civilization of Pompeii, if you know, you know, that particular city were in public on the streets, you know, all types of in decencies, there's no notion of hyah and they think just like eating and drinking in public, so they can do these aspects in public, as well. And in ancient Rome, this is pre Christian Rome. sexuality, as you know, a person was
something that was embraced and boasted about nobody cared, it wasn't you weren't considered to be there's no such thing as decency, right? And so sexuality reached depraved levels to be honest. And this that type of civilization, elements of it are found across the globe. So for example, for example, in the ancient Indian civilizations of southern India, right, Karnataka and other places of this nature, when you go visit their temples, okay, you find artwork that is carved there that would make even the most, you know, even the most depraved, degenerate person blush when they see artwork that is meant to be in their temples, okay, something that is literally rated x are the beloved very
disgusting and vulgar things, and it is in their holy temples. Why? Well, a bit of a deep thing not to hear but but my point is that they didn't have a problem having these types of icons and, and, and, and sexually graphic depictions in their holiest of holy places, and to them that is normal, that's their civilization and culture. So, that is one paradigm where one can say that promiscuity is completely up in the open, there is no sense of decency and sexuality is not shamed whatsoever in any fashion or form. It is something to be boasted about whether it is done, you know, between a husband and wife or extramarital or same gender or even worse, I will I'm not gonna mention anything
worse than that, but you get my point here, it's all fine and legit. That's one paradigm.
And and frankly, to be brutally honest, the culture of the West is now has embraced that paradigm, the culture of the West the the norm, the street culture of the West, okay? The second paradigm, one can say is to,
even to say to criminalize sexuality, right, to consider sex and sexuality to be inherently something to be embarrassed about, okay, inherently evil. So, the notion of sex itself, it becomes something that one should be disgusted at. And the root of all evil, basically is linked to sexual desire and the desire for sex becomes inherently something to be ashamed of.
uncontrolled and fraught, in all circumstances. And this is best embodied in certain manifestations of pre modern Christianity, such as St. Augustine would be the classic example here, many have said that St. Augustine shaped Western culture, his notions of sex, St. Augustine was a very old, ancient, not old, ancient back in the fourth century, right. This is pre Islam by two centuries. And he wrote confessions. And he wrote a number of things in which that shaped Western philosophy and Western notions of Christianity for the next millennia, to be honest, more than more than a millennia, and what St. Augustine argued, which became the norm of the Catholic Church, and it was
was mainstream culture, even Victorian England, kind of sort of sympathize with that, with that, with that notion, is that sex in and of itself is something to be ashamed of, and embarrassed about. And, of course, the Catholic Church. And of course, you know, Christianity and Christian civilizations, they had to accept sex as necessary for procreation. But there were times where the sentiment was, and this is something very common in in Spain, for example, three 400 years ago, where, even within marriage, a husband and wife are basically encouraged to not enjoy the act, but to grudgingly do it so that they have children and the world lives on and to to obtain too much
pleasure, even between husband wife is something that is inherently evil, and that type of philosophy, that type of notion of of criminalizing, or of considering sex to be something awkward or whatnot. As we said, It trickled down to the elite of Western society. And the best example, as we said, is, is Victorian culture, which was fascinatingly contradictory in terms of, you know, how they publicly said they viewed sex and how they privately practiced sex. And so their notion was outwardly that we are, we are civilized, we are now reached a pinnacle, and we are not, you know, involved in anything sexual or promiscuous. And yet, of course, their societies were exactly the the
opposite and the realities of Victorian England, were nowhere near the pristine, you know, Christianity that they thought they had, they were absolutely promiscuous and hedonistic and, and, you know, back in aliens, to be honest, and what Western society has done modern Western society is that it has inherited both the ancient Greek tradition, and that is how it lives, right. Pure hedonism, the vulgarity, and the indecency, that is in the media is in our HBO and all of these, you know, channels and whatnot on our
internet and the pornography that is produced or the villa, the villa. And then on the one hand, theoretically, they're going to say the ideal person should not be sexual, which is still St. Augustine. Okay, so we find the hypocrisy over here. Now, this long introduction, why am I beginning with it to demonstrate for you that the paradigm of Islam is totally different. And when you understand the paradigm of Islam, when you understand the paradigm of the Koran, there's nothing to be embarrassed about at all. That's the whole point. That's why this whole you know, introduction, and before we even get to the root domain and whatnot, the whole issue we need to understand is that
Islam came along and has a very different understanding of sexuality. Islam teaches us that the urge to procreate the urge to be intimate is human, nothing wrong with it, there's no evil in it whatsoever. It is human to crave a romance and to crave intimacy, just like we crave cold water and good food and, and good ambience, it's human. Why should that be criminalized? Why should that be made fun of why should that be something that we should be embarrassed about? every single human being has natural urges, and if those urges are dealt with, in a permissible manner, they become praiseworthy, and if they are dealt with in an impermissible manner, then they become something that
is problematic. And so the orotic paradigm is the pseudonym the paradigm is that sexuality is nothing to be embarrassed about. You praise good sexuality, but within marriage, that's the key here within permissible relationships, it is celebrated and nothing to be frowned upon. By the way. footnote here, just a quick plug free Pro Plug here. I have a class that I teach, which is much more in detail about Islam and sexuality is called like a garment. And I go into the Islamic stance on all of these issues in a lot more detail. I taught it almost a decade ago, one of the first time to teach this in an Islamic matter because Subhanallah it's if you consider this topic to be taboo to
your parents. Your children will then learn it from sources that they should not learn it from if we don't speak about it from within the public.
of Islam, then our children are going to learn it from the paradigm of Hollywood and Bollywood. And we don't want that. So we need to embrace this topic, and especially young men and women who are about to get married or newlyweds or even those that are struggling within marriage because of marital intimacy issues. This is a topic that needs to be addressed. And that's where By the way, I did a long series which is online, you will find it but this is not the topic at hand over here. My point being if we understand that Islam, praises, encourages, encourages the profitsystem encouraged jabot when he got married, you know to to have a fruitful in a blessed life and to enjoy intimacy,
no problem, what's there to be embarrassed about, right we want couples to Have a Healthy Marriage and within that paradigm, then you look at for example, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam praising, praising Sulayman the history of the Prophet Suleiman for being intimate with all of his partners in one night, nothing to be embarrassed about. That's a sign of virility, a sign of manhood, a sign of of being a full human being to cherish and to enjoy, what Eliza has allowed him to enjoy. Why is that awkward and embarrassing, and there are similar narrations as well about our Prophet Sall Allahu alayhi wa sallam and the mothers of the believers. There's nothing wrong with
that, as an as if nomadic and others mentioned, there's nothing to be embarrassed about. It's a natural urge. And to find intimacy, happiness and intimacy within marriage, and within permissible relationships is something to be celebrated and to entice people to Agenda by telling them that in general, there's going to be beautiful food, there's going to be a wines, rivers of wines, there's going to be palaces, and also there's going to be a hold off, and there's going to be partners, this is something that there should not even we should not even bat an eyelid there is no cause for us to be embarrassed about. In fact, gender would not be gender, if it didn't have all of our pleasures
catered to. And one of the pleasures of humanity, one of the pleasures that is ingrained within us is also the pleasure of intimacy and sex. And that is why it is completely logical for agenda to be described with also the pleasures of intimacy and sex. And it is, as I said, a human desire. And the fact of the matter is that those people who market their own lifestyles betrayed their hypocrisy is their own lifestyle is betrayed, that they have no right to, to make fun of our faith tradition. I remember a long time ago when I was a teenager and whatnot, that we were involved in debates on campus and whatnot, you know, so
one of the people of that faith tradition came, and they made fun of us, they said, Oh, you, you Muslims, you know, you you think you have heaven full of, you know, damsels and maidens and whatnot, you want multiple partners, you know, in the Hereafter, and I was, you know, a young man in college. And I said to him, Well, actually, Yes, we do. We want to remain pure in this world, so that our Creator blesses us with multiple partners in the next world, we live ethically pure lives, so that we are blessed with pleasures and the next life. As for you, I said, I was a young man as a teenager at the time. As for you looks like you guys want your multiple partners in this world, and you don't
care about the next world. Right? And I mean, you know, I shouldn't have been so blunt. I mean, obviously, that's what happens when you're a teenager in college. But there's an element of truth to what I said and that is that, you know, if these people make fun of gender, and they say, Oh, the agenda is has you know, children, I know what not well, then they themselves should be living the most ascetic lifestyles right? They should remain chaste. They should remain dignified, they should never touch the opposite gender or whatnot. And of course, you look at their lifestyles and you look at what filth is produced in their own societies and the the the the debauchery and the hedonism
that is rampant. I mean, they have no right to make fun of a pure agenda in which spouses will enjoy. And yes, there is a creation that is specific for each person will have Okay, it's not something that is
disgustingly the way that is practicing in some lanten societies of multiple No, it is a couple or it is a blessing for one person. And it is a union that only between those two people, yes, there is going to be that type of blessing. And so with that rather lengthy Prelude so that we understand that really, there's nothing to be embarrassed about in this regard, and gender would not be done without displeasure also being catered to. Let us now begin with some of the verses and some of the
discussions that we have, from our tradition, about the blessings of spouses and the blessings of the hood engender. Now of course, a lesser panel without explicitly mentioned that, as we said, even in our last lecture, spouses will be together. And Allah mentions this in you know, half a dozen verse
Right wabasha is sort of bucket a verse 25. Well best suited lead in an arm and what I'm going to solve how to enter the home generate antigen method and how to call Mr. Russo Coleman Hammond samarinda respond, call her the Lady rujukan amicable way to beat him with a shabbiha Wallah Humphrey has word Yamato hora tune on fee How have you done that Allah mentions all of the blessings of gender, and they shall have their pure spouses as well as your motohiro they're going to have their spouses with them and they are pure, and they will be in it forever and ever. So the spouses and here of course spouse here means both husband for the wife and wife or the husband that there
will the each of the spouses their spouse will be made pure for them and what it means multiple hora that there's not going to be anything nasty, no nudges coming out, right? No belching That is disgusting. No, nothing of that nature. No monthly cycle, no spitting, nothing. This is moto hora de pure and they're purifying the people agenda will all be pure. And so allows origin mentions that your companion in this world will be with you and he or she will be absolutely pure. And Ally's origin mentioned in the Quran homework as well as your home field lead ad in Ireland, Rocky with Turkey on them and their spouses, right. So them and their spouses will be in perpetual shade
reclining on couches. So we have the notion of enjoying company of your spouse, we have the notion of of talking and having a partner, your partner of this world will be with you over there. And we mentioned in the last lecture that obviously this is only if obviously the both of them, make it to agenda. May Allah grant us righteous spouses. You know, if that is not the case, then we're going to come over there. But if both partners make it to Jana, then they will be together in Jen. And Allah says in the Quran, or the hotel jen netta. Until was Why'd you come to baruntse. This verse demonstrates that, generally speaking, when Allah talks about as he means our partner in this world,
generally speaking, there are exceptions in the Koran, but generally speaking, or the hotel janitor unto
you and your spouse is intergender. So this is the zone of this world, a lot of xojo is mentioning multiple times that the couples will enter agenda together and the couples will be sitting in genda together and the couples will be drinking together and the couples will be in the shades and reclining on the couches together and talk about rune. Barone, this is sort of Zoho, by the way you can look it up with a whole agenda and Tomas Why'd you come to Berlin? Berlin is beautiful over here, it means you shall be happy together, you shall make each other happy in gender Subhanallah sometimes marriages aren't fully happy. There's both righteous people, they'll both make it to
Jenna. If they make it to Agenda inshallah, tada, there's not going to be bickering. So those of you who are, you know, having some ups and downs in your marriages, those of you whose marriages are not fully rosy, by the way full footnote here, no marriage is perfectly rosy. The point is that inshallah we have more ups than we have downs, more positives than negatives. No, marriage is absolutely without any type of issue or dispute that is simply that's in gender that's in gender, that is the marriage of gender. So in this world, if you didn't quite fully get along with your spouse, don't worry if the both of you are righteous and pious, meaning if you stay together,
obviously if you decide to end and park away, that's a different thing we're going to come to but in this world, whatever issues and bickering has happened, Allah is saying with the whole agenda to Anton was Why'd you come talk about you and your spouse enter agenda together to be happy together they're in so you know, the saying that we have in the fairy tales and they lived happily ever after. That is a fairy tale for this world. But it is a reality of gender. That is the reality of gender that your spouse will become your source of happiness and Allah subhana wa tada will reform your spouse Allah subhana wa tada will redo your spouse so that you are perfect for one another. And
this is something that is explicit in the Quran. So with that walk there in Sha one in Sha we shall recreate them a new recreation, we will make we will do all over again in the chat now. hoonah inshallah, we're going to create them and what are we going to do for john doe? nepcon Urban taraba we will make them virgins untouched, as if they weren't, you know, Virgin again, Reuben a turabian or odoban here means full of love. Subhana Allah Allah describes your spouse in this world. Sometimes Sometimes marriages are not based on love. Sometimes there's harshness and meanness but in general earlobe, wrote up here means full of love. So the partner, the husband, the wife, they will
be full of love for each other and they will be redone again in shot now hoonah insha Allah azza wa jal is saying we're going to perfectly recreate them as their partners for Jana hoonah.
Count on and they're going to become virgins again, like young newlyweds again, Reuben taraba. And Rob, as we said, is loving a turaga of equal age of similar age. So you know, to have a full partnership and relationship there must be something in common there must be a similar age, you know, a person that's a ingen everybody is 33. And so, in general, Uber, a taraba, they will all have that similar age. And so Allah azza wa jal mentions that this is going to be happening in gender, and every single person will be remade in ways that we don't understand. That's something that Allah knows in that chat known as schaff. What this means is that in this world suppose you
know, one of one of the humans in this world wasn't fully perfect, was maybe had some issues, some faults, some clock faults, or maybe there's some bodily faults, Allah xojo will recreate them and a lot of xojo there's there's still going to be themselves, you will recognize so and so is ahead. And so so ns formula, you'll recognize them, but they're going to be remade, brand new, and they're going to be made into the best of fashions. And a lot of xojo mentions that they're going to be paired together with their spouses. And so, this means that each of the two will be made perfect for the other engender to be perpetually together. Therefore, dear couples, dear couples, as long as
your marriages sustainable in this world and inshallah to either overall you know the benefits are more you know and and everything is good in sha Allah persevere keep your marriages together as much as possible and just work to get into gender. Once you get into Jenna in sha Allah Allah your marriage will become the marriage of fairytales that's what Jenna is promising us that they lived happily ever after it will become that perfect, that perfect marriage that we all desire. Now, question arises that what if a husband had multiple wives, then obviously, the sharing allows multiple wives. So that is not a problem that will all be there as long as the women earn as well?
How about the opposite? What if a lady had multiple husbands, this is where there is some discussion that takes place. And some odema have said that she can choose between them, but the majority opinion meaning that you know, she had her husband, the husband died then she married another husband. Now she was married to two men in this world. And both of them make it to gender which one will she be with right? So some have said she gets to decide. And others have said that
that she will be in with the one basically in within this the one that was the marriage was valid when she passes away. Okay, so whenever she passes away, and that marriage was still there, so that will be the one she was so the final one as long as no divorce took place. And they base this on to two things well, more than two but we'll mention to Firstly, that this is one of the wisdoms why Allah subhana wa tada forbade our mothers from remarrying after the Prophet salallahu idea, he was setting them that they were not allowed to remarry. And secondly, it is definitely the perception of the Sahaba. Now, as to the best of my research, there is no authentic hadith that makes this claim
that women will be what their last husbands, but it is very clear that many of the Sahaba understood this, who they first said to his wife when when he was about to pass away, that if you wish to be my companion in Jannah, then do not marry after me because any lady who marries will be with the last of her husband's that she was with in this world. Okay, so and we have other reports of some of the early to have your own or whatnot saying the same thing. So this is something that one could derive that having been said, we we really do not know for sure. And I really think that there's not that much of a benefit to discuss. I know people are curious, I know. Women in that situation obviously
will naturally have that question. And I say to this, that let's work on getting to gender and when we get there, we shall be happy with whatever decision Allah subhanho wa Taala makes now this is for those that had multiple partners. How about those that Allah will they didn't have any partner? There are certain men certain women, they never get married at all. How about them? Well, for them, it is very clear, explicit Hadith in Sahih Muslim that our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said that the first batch that will enter agenda will be as bright as the full moon and then their brightness will go less and less until there are like distract shining stars. Every one of them will
have two spouses to hold in gender. And you will be able to see the whiteness of her of her Shin from behind the veil. And one marfil genetti Zeb one marfil genetti iserbyt there is no single person in gender. There is no single
angle, ie everybody in general has a partner or a spouse where they sit in generosity as a woman and generosity is what this means is that if a person did not have a partner in this world, Allah subhana wa tada will set them up with a partner that is suitable for them in the next world. Some have said and again, this is all this is all, you know, theories. In the end of the day, we don't have Quran and Hadith Some have said that the singles of this world, Allah will pair them up with their perfect partners in the agenda. And others have said other things it doesn't in the end of the day, we do not know the main point is that if a person for whatever reason was not able to get
married, or did not get married in this world, in general, they will be given a partner, whether it is a partner that is a human in this world and also made it to gender, or it is a creation of Allah subhana wa Tada, that is a meant for that purpose. That's something that really we don't know about. And frankly, it doesn't really make much of a difference. The point is that we can console ourselves that there shall be no single person in gender with a single gender t eyes. Okay, so this is the notion of our our spouses and our married partners of this world. Now, we now get to the other issue, which is the awkward issue, which is the issue of the holder name.
And, as we explained before, is that in reality, the Quran is taking a very factual attitude, which sometimes surprises us in the Western culture. Like why is this notion being embraced? Why is this notion being advertised because subconsciously, and I'm being brutally honest, here, we have absorbed Victorian notions to be brutally honest here in our Western cultures, we have absorbed and actually to, to even take it further. The British ruled over India right for so many decades and sent a century or so realize that many British values were absorbed by the Indian subculture. Believe it or not many thing there's many research has been done on this as well. And and the notion
of considering sexual desire itself to be something to be ashamed of, is something that really is not found, generally speaking in the Quran and Sunnah. Why should I be ashamed of being a normal human being I have desires you have desires, what we need to do is to channel them within what is permissible. And so if the Koran tells us of the desires of eating, and the desires of the beauty of the palaces and the beauty of the rivers and the beauty of the trees, why should the Koran also not tell us of the beauty of a species of a creation that will satisfy our desire for intimacy, there's nothing as I said, awkward pre modernity, or let's say, from the eastern tradition, none of our
early and medieval scholars found this embarrassing, nothing to be embarrassed about. It's something that but when European culture interacts with our culture, that's when it becomes a little bit awkward and something to be embarrassed about. Then you have these people that are so embarrassed that they try to redo the entire paradigm, and they try to rethink through and reformulate radical revisionism. And so one of them discovers that children are in doesn't actually mean what everybody for the last 14 centuries thought it meant. But one of them says, or what it means is that they shall have whitish grapes, they said, that's going to be grapes, okay? So that's what they they they
reconsidered, hold on a minute, you know, some cataloging, we don't base our religion on the whims of other civilizations, especially a civilization that has demonstrated its hypocrisy, the sheer hypocrisy of its sexuality. On the one hand, they make fun of us when we want to be moral and chaste, and enjoy within the confines of marriage. And on the other hand, they are one of the most de botched societies since the ancient Romans and so they have no right to say anything about our concept of gender. And without all of that having been said, we do have to answer or address one more issue before before getting to the issue of this and that is sometimes some of our sisters feel
awkward in this discussion. And they say, okay, we understand sexuality is an urge, we understand a lot of xojo is gonna, you know, encourage all types of beauties and whatnot. But this seems to be a gender specific blessing, right? Yes. The as large are both Ruben and Robert and Shannon and Shara. Yes, those are clearly alive. So just as whom was watching him. So clearly couples that are told equal privilege is no problem. Now when it comes to the children in it is understood, and there's no controversy in this at all at all that of course, the children are in our for the men and not for the women. And this is something that understandably, questions are raised, and there's an element
of of awkwardness and the response really, is that I mean, there's just no way around.
And that is that a lot created men and women differently. And men and women have different desires. And again, all you need to do is open your eyes and look at well not look at physically, but look at how
the genders and how the I mean, what other way to say this I mean, look at the porn industry and look at all of this again, when I say look at I don't mean with your eyes, I mean examine and what not, which gender is being catered to 90% of it which gender right? So a lot of which are created many women look at the advertisements look at the, the the clothing, you know, look at the skin penis, which gender is being, you know, put in front of the other in the TV and whatnot, which gender is the one that is whose body is sexualized. This is what allows wojo created us with and
one simple way to do this is that if you were to survey, and in fact, you know, I've done a smaller survey similar in this regard. And so I can actually speak from experience, but I'm giving a hypothetical one, if you were to do a survey, because I've taught classes 1000s of people and sometimes the classes are women only sometimes there are men only if you were to ask this question, I've done a survey, if you were to do a survey of let's say 100 women, okay, 100 women anonymous, describe gender, what is your main like, give me one thing that you're really looking forward to engender. Okay, if you were to ask 10 sisters, you would probably get 10 different answers. Okay.
100 sisters, you probably get maybe 80 different answers or what not you would get, you know, just the peace and No, nobody irritating me and you're nobody backbiting I don't have to worry about my body image, I can eat and drink without any problems, you know, no, hey, job and whatnot, whatever it might be, you might get so many different, you know, responses, generally speaking, you would not get the desire of intimacy that much in the in the large group of women. Now, if you were to ask 100 men, pretty much a large percentage of them would have that on their list of what they're looking forward to in gender, it is what it is, and Eliza is catering to what he knows will be an incentive
He created us and he knows what is desired. And you know, we are not a Victorian, we can say this bluntly, every man desires, that level of intimacy, and there's nothing to be embarrassed about. And Allah xojo created women to not desire multiple partners, they want one partner who will be their rock and their foundation and their support and their emotional and they will get that partner, the partner that will love them and care for them and cherish them for the for all and all and all of eternity. And allies origin obviously knows that this is what they want. And that's what they're going to get. And as for men, they can have that partner and they can also enjoy other partners is
not going to affect their love for the for the first one. And of course, we also have to realize that there is obviously no jealousy in gender, and it is understandable and in that in this world, sometimes you know, there's an element of awkwardness to some of our sisters will feel there's nothing wrong with that to feel an element of awkwardness as long as you don't reject it as long as you don't, you know, negate you you're allowed. Like Allah says in the Quran, certain things have been prescribed for you and you don't like them, understandable but you accept in the end of the day that there must be a level of acceptance that Allah subhana wa tada knows best also, a mumble ought
to be has a beautiful paragraph in his book about the women of gender, that are righteous women compared to the children of gender. And he says that there is no comparison that the women of gender are much higher in their beauty and in their rewards and in their blessings than the children and that is because that Allah azzawajal will bless
the the righteous lady with Jenna and the hurun in our but a blessing of gender and the two are not the equal. In fact Mr. McCarthy says that it is like it is as if the the the lady that's righteous She is like the queen and these who are like the the servants of the household or whatnot, there is no comparison because the righteous lady is being rewarded with Jenna and she's enjoying Jenna. And as for those who don't are in they are not they are not being rewarded with Jenna they are not enjoying gender, the way that the ladies of gentlemen are rather they are an enjoyment of Jenna for one of the genders and so, there is no question therefore, and if in fact a mammal ought to be and
others they mentioned therefore, that the love and the beauty and the perfection of the women who enter Jannah will be in no comparison at all will be much more than that of the children are in. And again as we said, there is no concept of jealousy at all whatsoever, no matter how jealous a lady feels. Now it is permissible
Nothing wrong, by the way, to feel to feel jealous. But in general, there is no jealousy. So, with that we move on. And as we said, there is no single person in genda. So even ladies that never got married, they shall have a life partner. But of course, the reality and again, there is no there is no shying away from this that human nature. And society is such that a lady once one partner, the lady that has multiple partners in every single society is looked down upon she goes through multiple partners left and right, she is not viewed to be a noble, it's not something to be praised. As for a man having multiple wives taking care of them. In most cultures and societies. This was
something to be praised. In modern times it has become different, but in most cultures and societies, this is something to be praised. And there's simply no getting around that that Allah created men and women differently. Now, what does the notion of who mean What does the word mean? So the term rule comes from Howard and Howard.
It describes the sharp contrast between the extreme blackness and the extreme whiteness and rain is the plural of iron ore iron. So, rain is the plural of iron, iron, which means I an iron can be made plural as iron, and iron can also be made plural as in so your honor in is the the description of the contrast between the whiteness of the iris and the darkness of the pupil of the eyes. Okay, so our eyes are composed of the the iris, which is the outer part and the pupil, which is the inner part, and how are his or her What is the plural, however, is the contrast of the white and the black and they're in is the eyes. So who Noreen is describing a creation of Allah subhana wa tada via
their eyes. And a lot of xojo is saying that their eyes are beautiful, and the whiteness and the dark. The whiteness of the iris and the darkness of the pupil are absolutely perfect. Now, by the way, interesting point here, that a number of years ago, I read an article on the BBC and I want to point out on the BBC, so that you don't think I'm reading this type of stuff outside BBC, I read a BBC every single day, there was an article in the BBC that a computer program had generated from 1000s and 1000s. And 1000s of images of models from around the world, men and women had generated a whole list of what is considered beautiful and handsome globally, what are the characteristics, a
computer program was programmed to absorb all of these data points, and they plotted out facial features and whatnot. And they gave a list a long list of well, not it wasn't very long, but it was a list of things that are found universally attractive. And one thing that struck my eye was the fact that across all cultures, and females, proportional eyes that are large, and have contrasting pupil colors between the pupil and the iris is something that is beautiful. Okay, this is something that has been discovered by surveys across the globe. And you know, if you look at the cartoons, that the exaggerated features of men and women and whatnot, you know, you always find those cartoon
characters. They're acting flirtations and coquettish and whatnot, and their eyes are enlarged, and their irises are much larger and absolutely white. And then the pupils or whatever colors of course, in Arabian culture, all pupils were black colored. Obviously, in Western culture, you have you know, different you know, different colors. The point though, is the contrast really not necessarily the blackness in Arabian culture, black was the default beauty when it came to the the the color of the of the pupils, but obviously in other cultures is different. But what was interesting was that in all cultures, a large whiteness of the iris, contrasted with a strong color. And if you again, not
to get too technical detail, but if you remember, there was a very famous
cover of an avanti girl that won many prizes back in the 80s of an avanti, villager girl. And what was what was amazing was again, the color of her eyes and the whiteness of her the contrast was there. She was a little girl, maybe 910 years old, but again, that was just mesmerizing. It weighed one awards, it was on the cover of Time magazine back in the 80s and there's actually articles about this and and whatnot about that girl and her story in the Avalon war. But again, the point being it's human fitrah and Allah subhana wa tada describes those blessings as her own name. And this leads us to a very, very interesting point. Subhan Allah, why did Allah use the eyes to describe the
beauty? Because dear brothers and sisters, the Quran and the Sunnah is never vulgar. Yes.
sexuality as a concept is embraced. Yes, there's nothing to be ashamed about. to, to to want to be intimate. But we don't describe body parts we don't describe in detail. Something that is that is in more distant in conversation, even when the Quran talks about relieving oneself. Allah says, one one of you comes from the restroom, when the Quran talks about having sex with one's wife, Eliza just says when you touch your women, so there's a element of modesty even in the language. And this is interesting, because the concept of sexuality is nothing to be ashamed of. But you don't need to describe it in graphic detail, right. And so in the Koran when the whole donor in when the I should
say, when the companions are described, they're described with their eyes. Why? Because you can describe the eyes and it is not Volker. It is the one aspect of a lady's body that if you describe it in vivid detail, it is not vulgar. It's something that is poetic, it is something that all societies considered to be decent and dignified. And that's the language of the Quran. And that is why Allah subhana wa tada describes them with hold on in because it is a description of the eyes and there is no description in the Quran that is inherently vulgar and Allah subhana wa tada mentions in the Quran Surah 254 was the wodgina whom behold in in and we zoologia we zoologia them with Odin in
now, what is the what you hear me most when you read the Quran, when many people think, and Allah will marry them off with hold on in. And I mean, that's not an incorrect understanding. But it's not the correct one either forget my point. I mean, it's a possible one is a plausible one. But the correct understanding was the original home here zoologia means we paired them up, there is no nigga contract with the houden in its ullas gift to you, you're not going to enter a court registrar and have two witnesses and the What do you know, was the wedge now home here means we paired them up with children in and what this means to pair up it means here that what it means to pair up is that
objects are matched together, objects are matched together. So what a lot is telling us in a very subtle way is that for every person, the food that they desire, as a partner, the hook that they want, that will be paired up with them, it's a very beautiful, very subtle way because every single person is attracted to different characteristics and different aspects of beauty. Hence Allah subhanho wa Taala will gift every person was zoned wodgina home their whole will be their partner their zones by partner, we don't just mean your number two, by by by partner by pair, we mean that what is best suited for you. So this is another description that is given. So the zone which I hear
is a reference to the who will be appropriate to the person and what the person desires. Also, Allah describes the whole in three verses as being all set all to toffee, also to toffee. And so the man Allah says fee hidden Nepal so it also toffee lemmie ultimate hoonah insolent wala john, sort of soft facts Allah says we're in the home costs will autofill in and pseudo salt, verse 52, we're in the home cost zero to 12 feet at all. These three verses all mentioned costs are up to 30. Your costs are up to 30. And they have other descriptions as well. What are these descriptions? realize, firstly, that Allah subhanho wa Taala says, fee hidden costs add up to 30. And they're in the home
offset of two tofi. Which is beautiful, because it indicates the hood owner in is not something that is public, it is something that is private, that it is something that is nobody else is going to see. And with them in the home, not with anybody else. It's not in public, it is private in them, it is private, that nobody else is going to see the hood other than that one person who is gifted with it. And Allah says also it also thought of what does it mean? It means their eyes are not going beyond their lowered. And what this means is that it's an indication that they're because the eyes follow the heart. And so when the eyes are looking everywhere, the heart is desiring other things.
When the eyes are down, the heart is content. So also tutorial is a beautiful way of demonstrating that the children are in their love and their desire is restricted to the one person whom Allah has chosen for them and bless them with so also not totally. They're going to only be content with that one person and they have no desire for anything else. Also.
Allah mentions that these who are going to be Mako Suraj to fill him. They will be sequestered in the tents and I mentioned
I think two lectures ago that Allah will bless men and women of this world with the bassoon, and with the hoerauf of gender. So the palaces will be for the humans, but they will be tense away from the palaces, nothing that that's for the the salia hat and the minute and the Muslim ads and the believers, their husbands there, but there will be tense for the hood, the hood are a blessing of gender, they don't enjoy gender, they are a new creation of a lot. By the way, we don't have any authentic reports about what they are created with. There's a lot of fabricated a hadith and whatnot, but in reality, they are a creation of a lot and they are contented, happy, they don't have
the types of human you know, desires or whatnot to their creation of Allah subhanho wa Taala that will be only for the people of gender, and they're going to be living in the tents and we learned this from the Quran who Ramapo Surah autofills am sure that our motto Suraj Matsuda means sequestered, they are happy to live in their tents, they're never going to have to exit the tents. No one will see the hood of another person, no one will gaze upon the hood of another person, every person's who will be in his own tent and our profits as I mentioned in the other Hadith I mentioned a few lectures ago that there will be attended that is 60 miles wide. And the the believer will have
family or like companion in sections of the tent, and there will be private nobody else can come across them in those sections. So this is who demopolis who are often Phil Thea and Ulla mentions a suit or a man Lem Yato myth Hoon in some popular home whether john that no man nor Jin has ever been with them before. What this means is that they are pure. They are untouched until their spouses that Allah azza wa jal has meant for them, their companion of this world meets them that will be their first intimacy they are they have never loved or touched any creation until they are paired up with their benefactor and the one whom Allah has blessed them with. And this also shows by the way that
even the gin procreate laminata mithuna instant Commodore home what john and Allah mentions as well in the Quran fi hiner higher our tune is
that in Jana, there are higher our tone his son so this is another description of the hood on a higher art is the plural of hierarchy. And hierarchy means all hair is coming from her, right so the food are not going to be nagging, the hood are not going to be irritating, their floors are not going to be giving any nuisance they are higher, they're nothing but good. And his son is the plural of Santa which is beautiful. And so Allah azza wa jal is describing their Allah as being pure and their outer characteristics as being beautiful. So Allah combines Hayato and Hassan to describe the inner and the outer beauty of the hood. And instead of that a walk out of verse 23, Allah subhana wa
tada says that the poor are unfairly Low, low il maknoon. like pearls that are covered and protected beautiful description here come thirdly Lu l maknoon. That the whole or like the pearls, so pearls are delicate, pearls are beautiful to gaze upon. And maknoon they're covered, they're protected, they're preserved, so nobody else can see them and nobody else can be with them. And they're physically separated. And this is of course in de Leon and Sunita never Allah subhana wa tada mentions and describes them as wakawaka a taraba. And the carry bit is the young lady. pause here so this versus sometimes miss translated, so that that people think that this might be suggestive or
vulgar, and this is not the case the Quran is never ever vulgar. The term cab originally meant something that is semi circular, and
very ancient Arabia, pre Islam, there was the notion of the description of the bosom. But what is now implied is a young lady, a lady that has reached a prime a lady that is in the best of her age. The original meaning is not intended just like when you say to a little girl that she is a Giardia, right a Giardia when you say Giardia in Arabic. You mean a girl of 567 years old, a pre puberty girl like a young girl a Giardia? What does the original mean Giardia? Giardia means running around everywhere. Okay. When you say because Jeddah because little girls are running around everywhere. Michelle, it's about a cola. When you say Giardia nobody thinks of running around everywhere you
think of a little girl. The same goes for caribou or kawaii. That Yes, there is a very ancient meaning but the the primary meaning of what kawari is a lady who is reached her prime she is not young is very young, and she is not very
Old This is what God means. As we said the Quran is never vulgar and uttered all by means of a similar age means 3033 years old, which is the prime age not not very young and not very old. So Allah xojo describes them as wakawaka taraba and Allah xojo describes and sort of the soft fats another description and know who know they Yulin maknoon another amazing description. Now who know they didn't maknoon Now, there are two interpretations of what baled here means some have said that baled means
eggs, others have said the inside of the eggs, the egg membranes, right, and so Allah is describing the hood as the delicate membranes inside the egg. So they're being compared in their delicacy in their protection and their softness in their color. That's one interpretation. Another interpretation is that Bejeweled here is not eggs, but rather pearls because the outers would call pearls eggs. And if this is the case, then it matches
the look that is mentioned as well in the Quran about the whole so whichever the whether it's, you know, the egg or whether it is the pearl The point is that Eliza is describing their protection and allies was describing their their softness and allies are describing their color all of this is what the hoonah bejewel maknoon and maknoon means protected and covered up and it's sort of the Rahman Allah describes the name as an ohana Alia who to Walmart Jan by the way notice I know Nick and Hoon as if they are as if they are because language cannot do justice to them language cannot do so as if they are the best you can do is imagine that's all the reality is beyond imagination. So, Allah says
no hoonah Eliyahu to one margin as if they are as elegant as rubies and as delicate as corals right. So yeah, hotend margin is rubies and corals and has ended basally said that what is intended is the purity of the Ruby and the color of the corals others have said it is a combination of the redness of the rubies with the delicateness of the corals because the Ruby is slightly red. And it is human nature again look at you know the the makeup that is proton and whatnot, the blushing and whatnot. So the color pink and red, it is something that is in the fifth row. And so that is 100 Yahoo to one margin. And we learn as well, from the Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that the
hood are going to be singing when the spouses come and visit them. And there are you know, poetry that is rhyming in the Arabic language in English, obviously, it will not be rhyming or when you translate it, but that we are the beautiful and the pure. And we are welcoming the the generous husbands, and we will be pleasing them. So when the husbands come to visit, they will be dressed up and they're going to be singing and waiting for the husbands to come. And in fact, in as soon as telemovie We also learn that the children are eagerly desiring their husbands, even in this world, that as we are in this world, they are still desiring us. And they look forward to meeting and
that's of course, the point here is that we should also then strive to earn that blessing of gender. Now, the final point of today's lecture, and that is that how the question a lot of our young men ask how many children are in and their response first is that look, get to gender and you will be happy there. But what we do, what we do learn from our tradition, the heavy then what is most difficult, a bohemian Muslim, that would equally why the main home zoologia tan, every person agenda will have to Okay, so this is mentioned in an authentic Heidi that everybody will have to and as soon as Timothy we learned that the Shahid is blessed with 70 or 72. Okay, there's a hadith in
activity. So what do we learn from this, both of these together is that like all of the blessings of Jana, there are gradations and levels. And the beginning or the default is at least two. And that's where everybody begins. And then the more that one does, and the higher that one status, it will become more and more just like every other blessing, you know, the palaces and the gardens and everything. Similarly, the hood are a blessing agenda, and the more one strives, and the more one is pious and the more one wants to meet Allah subhanahu wa Tada, then the more one will get those hoods, and of course engender, everybody will be perfect and everybody's desires will be perfect and
pure and everybody's strength will also be perfect. And that's why there is a hadith in Timothy, that a man will have the power of 100 of the men of this world. And again, you have to understand this is the the Arabs would say this and they wouldn't
Not even be a hint of awkwardness in their cultures because the culture embraced sexuality within marriage. Unlike Western culture which pretends that it is pristine and pure, and in reality, it is filthy and debauch, the botched values but the Islamic value, this is praiseworthy, when a man is able to engage in intimacy in a fruitful manner in a healthy manner within the confines of marriage and relationship, this is something that is embraced and therefore, it is mentioned in our traditions and the idea is intimately that the person will be able to engage in intimacy like 100 men of this dunya and that is what is to be expected of the people of gender. Now, to conclude all
of this, that there is no question that of the blessings of gender is that our sexual desires will be satisfied to our pleasures both genders, men and women, and women will be blessed with lifelong eternal partners who will love them and they will be more beautiful than the hood and their love, their husband's love for them will be a genuine love. As for the hood, it is a pleasure of genda but the love will be for the spouse, and the companionship will be for the spouse. This is what Allah says that the hoods are not mentioned as reclining on couches and, and drinking and talking that's for the spouses. That's where the as large and as for the hood, yes, it is a blessing for men, but
it is a blessing of the of the body. It's not something that will be companionship, and it is not something that will be the love that is for the spouse, and the spouse, of course, as a whole to me and others mentioned and even our teachers and our team and others I mentioned this that the women of gender will be infinitely more beautiful than the hood because she is blessed with gender. And as for the hood, they are a blessing of gender and the two cannot be compared and yes of the blessings for men is that there will be companions that they will enjoy intimacy with and that is something that is undeniable in the Quran and the Sunnah. But I want to conclude on a very
frank point is that Dear brothers in Islam, I address the brothers, do you have brothers in Islam? Unfortunately, many all too often. We act immature when it comes to this topic, and we act in sensitively, when it comes to cracking jokes about this topic in front of our spouses in front of it's something that is how would you feel I mean, again, let me How would you feel if your spouse you know, made fun of another person in this manner or teased you are enticed to even let's suppose it was headed in some manner, how would you feel? Would you not feel hurt and and cheapened by this? So, we also see in the entire series of the prophets of Allah, why do you send them never once did
he bring this topic up and, you know, and dangle it in front of our mother? It's not it's not befitting a gentleman it's not befitting a person of a man and good o'clock that this subject is brought up and and dangled and made fun of you, you will really, it's a naturally you're gonna cause hurt and pain and irritation. You know, I'll be I'll be blunt here and I'm sorry if this offends anybody, Dear brothers, if you really, really want those who then wake up at night for 200 co sponsor some orphans, build a well and feed the hungry, you know, go and do some community service and make dua to Allah azza wa jal to bless you with that as for making fun of this topic, or not
making fun of it or missing dangling this topic in front of your wives and thinking that you're going to get a kick and laugh out of it. I can assure you, that's not how you're going to get these blessings, be quiet. And in your private lives, do things that earns that reward and make dua to Allah suited for that reward, then maybe just maybe you might get it. But if you merely talk and joke about it, that is guaranteed. You're not doing anything by those toxin jokes to to to gain your place. And in fact, you're showing that you're not have the best husbands because that's not what our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam did. The conclusion is very simple. Dear Muslims, male and
female, we have desires and have those desires intimacy and romance. And every single one of us when we get up there insha Allah to Allah, that desire will be taken care of in a perfect manner without any jealousy without any hatred without any awkwardness. And that is why it is Jen. I will see Michelle lozada next week was said on Friday when I was from La Habra castle.