Seerah – 98 Marital dispute with the Wives

Yasir Qadhi

Channel: Yasir Qadhi

Series:

Topics: Seerah

Episode Notes

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Shaykh Yasir Qadhi now divulges details on a very important incident in the life of the Prophet ﷺ – the ‘Ilaa’.

What is Ilaa? It’s an oath made to Allah, wherein the husband can choose to stay away from his wife in the event of a marital dispute or clash for a period less than 4 months.

Allah revealed Qur’an because of this incident where the Prophet ﷺ took abstinence from his wives for a month. This was when he was married to all 9 of his wives – Sauda, A’isha, Umme Salama, Juwayriyya bint al-Harith, Zainab bint Jahsh, Umme Habiba, Safiya bint Huyay, Ramla bint Abi Sufyan and Maymunah bint al-Harith RA.

For want of a better lifestyle and mode of living, the two wives of the Prophet ﷺ – Aisha RA and Hafsa RA – went to him and pressured him into leaning towards their idea. This resulted in the rumours doing the rounds after some time about the Prophet ﷺ having divorced his wives. This news made its way to Umar RA was was flabbergasted and made a rush to the home of the Prophet ﷺ to inquire into the matter.

The Prophet ﷺ was housed in the attic room of his house where after seeking permission from the servant for the third time, he gained entry into the room. After some conversation, he understood that the Prophet ﷺ had taken an oath to Allah that he would abstain from his wives for one month.

After the duration of this one month had finished, he made a visit to the house of A’isha RA. And he asked her a few things based on the revelation that the Prophet ﷺ had received in Surah Ahzab verses 28-29. What was it? Listen intently.

Based on that, the Prophet ﷺ asked his wives to make a decision. That what was their preference? A lifestyle of richness and bliss (which would be theirs but in exchange for the loss of the companionship of the Prophet ﷺ) or a lifestyle of humbleness and servitude, which could only be achieved with the Prophet ﷺ by their side and they would be blessed with rewards in this life and the Hereafter.

It was obviously a no brainer for the wives and each one of them chose to stay with the Prophet ﷺ.

 

Episode Transcript

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Rahim al hamdu Lillahi Rabbil alameen wa salatu salam ala Sayyidina Muhammad in by the audio Sybase mind Am I back. So inshallah we'll resume from where we left off and our last lecture was about or the last lecture.

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So Oh Mayor brown him, the entire story will be about him. And so based off of that, I thought this would be the good time to also mention another family incident of the prophets of Allahu Allah who will send them another incident involving the wives of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam. The only issue is we do not know when this incident occurred. So there are a number of opinions when this incident occurred. One scholar evanesce you than us famous scholar of sila. He says that occurred in the ninth year of the hedgerow. If this is the case, we're in perfect timing, because we're around the 90 of the hitter now. But other scholars say this occurred, some say in the fourth.

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So I'm saying the fifth, so I'm saying the sixth. So we don't have any exact timing. And this is one of the big problems of the Sierra, that we know an incident but we don't know when it occurred. And in fact, we can say the same of all of the one of the processes that I've said, we don't know, generally speaking, when he said this. So what is the incident we're going to do today? It is the incident of how a prophecy said I'm abstaining from his wives for one month. This is the famous marital dispute that took place and a law revealed on because of it. And so we have a number of internal evidences when this took place. And some of these evidences are somewhat contradictory as

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is typically the case in the seal. So we know that when this incident took place, he was married to all nine of his wife so the lot while he was settling, and therefore this means that

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where's that noise coming from?

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There was a phone back there. Okay, I didn't know this.

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This is Uh huh. This is the first time that the phone is ringing from this is not even a phone This is something else.

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So we know that he was married to all nine of his wife's I send them I'm not going to quiz you on the names of these nine because I know we haven't memorized them yet. Even I have to look them up because you have to think about who they were. So the nine of his wives at this point would be soda Asia have saw or miss Emma and of course Miss Ella is hynd Julia bintan Hadith. Zane Ubuntu Josh. oma Habiba ROM Lavinia sufian Sofia bin to hurry Muna bentyl Hadith, Allah hilarya. And inshallah, by the way when I finish the Sierra, which is very soon from now, maybe by the end of January, or beginning of February Sharla will finish we're really at the end now. inshallah, the very next quick

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series will be the wives are the process of however many series that we can do about the wives of the Prophet salallahu alayhi wasallam. So we know that he had all nine of his wives, which means what, that this incident took place somewhat late, yet we have internal incidents or references. As we'll see, when we go on one of them, it seems to suggest this incident took place before the verses of hijab were revealed. And this is somewhat problematic because

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he might not have been married to online before the verses of hijab were revealed. So this seems to be a little bit of a clash, another

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internal incident, the verse that Allah revealed is now through tele zap. And sort of the lies that was revealed, obviously, one was revealed.

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When was Surah Al ahzab? revealed?

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For 10 Maka sutala, zap.

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Zap, what is the hub?

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Or herd know what is the hub? The Confederates So when did that take place? What do you guys, this is embarrassing. You know, I was attending a conference, I was attending a conference and so many brothers and sisters came up to me and said, your students don't really know much today.

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I'm gonna go tell them that, you know, it's like every time you ask a question, they can never answer it. I said, so. I had a 10 year old girl come up to me. And her father said every single time you ask a question, she answers it and nobody in your audience can answer it. So I had to I had to take a photograph with her. Okay. And you're also famous, by the way as the note keeper, everybody knows you as a note keeper. There's one humbler? In any case, where was I quizzing you? So a battle of Isaiah one did zap take place 50 of the hedgerow, right. So this would seem to indicate that this incident occurred in the fifth year of the hedgerow, but we can easily dismiss this and say, just

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because it's found his wallet that it has app doesn't mean

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it was revealed in the 50 because the Quran was put together by the prophet system at work.

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Whatever time he did if he would put together at different times. Nonetheless, in order to understand this incident, of course, we need to understand the lifestyle of the process in which is well known to us. He never lived a luxurious life never from his birth until his death. He had very humble beginnings. He was orphaned his father could not provide for him. There was no father living at the time, as you know, he died. He was born an orphan his father already died. Our processing tells us his first job was a shepherd, he would work for karate, and karate, karate, it means for pennies. So imagine you're getting pennies for the entire day. Literally, you work the entire day as

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a shepherd, and you get, you know, a dime or a quarter. This is the wages of the prophet SAW Selim, he would live in the cramped House of obatala. With the other children, he had a small break with the marriage of Khadija, as you know, for the first time he could live separately in his own life. And that's when a little bit of a little bit of any wealth came of Templeton wasn't any luxurious living. Remember, he didn't even have a camel. He did not even have a transport until the hedgerow he didn't even buy. He couldn't afford to have an animal nor do they have a need to have an animal. But slowly but surely, the wealth began to come in, not to him but to the oma. And in the Battle of

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butter. With the ransoming of over 70 of these pagans, each one of them brought 1000s of silver coins, slowly, but surely, the tide began to change. After the conquest, one after the other, the big first big break came at haber. That was one of the first really big break came that the entire fields of labor were handed over. And then Frederick was gifted to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and that was his main personal income, the plantations of fadak, which is a sister city to high but these were the personal property of the prophet SAW Selim and the rewired. Tell us Now remember, when did that happen? 70 of the hydro, right, hybrid is very late seventh year of the

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digital is hybrid. And so our process alum from the seventh year onwards, he now has one land. And that land we know from the books of Sierra and the books of Hadith was the main source of income for feeding his family, that after the Battle of high bar, when he was gifted, fadak father was a special gift to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam. And then, of course, the largest break that the early Oh, my God was the Battle of her name. This was the largest wealth that was accumulated. But how much of that did the process of him keep the Battle of her name? Absolutely nothing, not one penny he kept for himself, even though the shady allows the leader, the legit the legitimate

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Khalifa, to take a share the 151 50 say, and of course our process some already had to share from Allah subhanho wa Taala. And so he gave it all away. And of course, it is authentically narrated that he did this by choice in the Muslim ummah. The Hadith is famous and you should know it, if you don't know it, then memorize it now that he was sitting with Judy, and jabril.

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And him were talking and an angel comes down from the heavens. And God says to the prophet SAW Selim, this angel, Allah has allowed him to come for the first time since the beginning of the creation. He has left wherever he is, and he's come down for the first time, just to meet you, basically. And so the angel said, Yeah, Mohammed Salah Monica, your Lord has sent me to ask you a question.

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Do you want to be a Navy American Navy, or an abdon rhassoul This is the choice you have. You can be American Navy, means a profit King. You can be a king, but uh, maybe, or you want to be an ABD and rhassoul. So it's beautiful here because the highest position in this world is a malloc. Right? And the lowest position is an apt and if you choose to be al Malik said Malik is medical medic, the king, if you choose to be the king, then you will be a newbie and nebby is lower than rosewood. So you can be a Malik, but you will have to become an OB or you can Humble yourself in this world and be an Abbot and you will then be a raw soul. Which is a higher status of the deen and gibreel

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alayhis salam made a motion

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that go low, humble yourself. And in version one version, he said Humble yourself in front of Allah.

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And so the process of said I choose to be an ABD who is uracil. abdon Rasulullah. I choose to be an ABD and lawsuit. And the narrator of the Hadith says after this incident

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He was never seen even eating with his back resting on a wall. Meaning what? So the most simplest sign of luxury, is you sit down and you enjoy your meal is the simplest sign, even us, mere people have, you know, not very great wealth, we can enjoy our meal like this, right? But after this had this incident, so he lived a life that was very even more austere and humble. Because he had asked Allah subhanaw taala, the choice or Allah had asked him, excuse me the choice, and he chose to be the abbot. And the abbot, of course, is the lowest of the low, you are a slave of Allah, you don't own anything in the eyes of Allah. So he'll be an Abbot in order to be a a or a soul. And there's an

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actually another variant of this hadith that I found today. It's slightly weak, the variant but it has details that inshallah there's no harm in menten mentioning, and perhaps he, so this hadith is the same narration, but he's telling Isha about it. So the first one is the incident. Then he tells that issue about what happened. Perhaps he told Ayesha after the incident of today, that after the whole story of wanting more money and whatnot, perhaps Who told you this, but he says to Arusha in this other version, and I said slightly weak, so keep that in mind. Oh, Arusha. He says, If I desired, then all of these mountains would be turned to gold for me. An angel came to me, his buckle

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up. Now, they would tie their izhar and they will put some type of show or some type of, you know, fastener, you know, when you would tie the is up, you just fasten it. Of course, they don't have a whole buckle, they would just fasten it and put something in like that. So in this narration that says his fastener, his class was bigger than the cabinet itself. This is how big the angel is. And the angel asked me, Do you want to be a nebby moluccana B or an Abdullah suit and I chose to be an ABD Rasul. So this was his lifestyle. And at some point in his life, we don't know when, but Allahu Allah. And one of the reasons that I think it's later on and not early on, Allah, Allah knows best.

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But one of the reasons I think it's maybe eighth ninth year of the hijra, the process of numbers wise would not have asked for a more higher standard of living until they're seeing other people as well, their standards rising, when everybody's living at a similar level, then there's no need to ask for more, right? When does a person want more when everybody else is increasing? And when did that increase happen? After the conquest after Labor after Fatimah. So slowly, but surely, the economic level is rising, of course, it would rise radically, and the time of the whole affair, it would literally go exponential and the time of the whole affair. By the time it omits the Islamic

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civilization is now ruling the world. It is the most prestigious civilization in the world. So Allah knows best. But because of this reason, I seem to like the opinion that it's later on, that the wealth is coming in. And so the wiser the Profit System began asking for more as well. Now, the details of what they asked, I could not find at all. And it is appropriate that these details are not mentioned that this is an internal matter, that whatever they said to the processor in the privacy of their homes, it has not been recorded, who is going to record that. But what appears to have happen is that there was a cooperative effort, a group pressure applied that, and this group

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pressure was led by two of his wives. And of course, these are all our mothers. And when we say these things, let nobody ever feel any type of stuff for the Lord that obviously called us refuge that we're ever diminishing from their noble status. As I will mention later on, what they asked is Helen, and when we mentioned this, it's not as if we are the holder Petula, diminishing their status so that nobody feel this, but to have the wives of the process, and we're the ones who coordinated a group effort, why would they do a group effort? Who can tell me?

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Why would they do a group effort and not just one?

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It's more convincing. It's like, if one person asked the other doesn't, then it's a stronger case to be built right? This is stronger case that all of them are demanding a better lifestyle. Okay. As I said, What exactly did they demand? This is lost and it should be lost like any what do you what would it be other than a bigger house or a better furniture, whatever it might be, this is the reality that everybody wants and it is helpful to want to nothing wrong with that. So as we say this don't reveal anything stuff or the law of diminishing in their character as we're going to come to. And so

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the this incident is reported in a lot of detail in the first person by almost

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Have no hot tub. So we're going to actually move to aroma hops Hadeeth is a very beautiful and long Hadith and it is reported in Sahih Muslim in a number of other Hadith weldmesh merged them together.

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And of course another hot tub is deeply involved because

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he has daughters so the two women who led this, this cooperative effort was half an hour issue. These were the two who led the cooperative effort and that's why I'm gonna call Bobby's himself personally involved deeply in the story. So he himself narrates that

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even a bus

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sorry even above scenarios from him in our buses hearing from him, so even my boss said that I was always anxious to ask removable hardtop about the two ladies whom Allah revealed in the Quran that into to buy a life of kosaku Kuma now this this is about last week's or last month's had a car when we talked about oma Ibrahim Maria. Right. So it'd been a buses I was anxious to ask removable hardtop for over a year, I was looking for an opportunity and look at his patience, his eagerness, and also his respect for the time of Omar. He doesn't just barge into Oman and say I want to know, but rather he is respectful. When is the good time to ask him. So he's over a year he was waiting

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until on one expedition. I'm gonna block Bob was by himself. So when I boss walked next to him and said, Oh, ameerul momineen. I have been waiting for an entire year to ask you this question. And he was helping him doo doo doo doo at the time. So

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of course he gave the story of Madea that's, we already talked about that right. But then Omar goes on. Now that I'm telling you about my dad, let me tell you about another story as well, that deals with the wives of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. And so he goes on that we we were a people from the aurash who would dominate over women, not only Vanessa Anna.

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And yet when we came to Medina, we found that the people of Medina were a group whose women dominated them.

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Okay, so he said, when we move from Mecca to Medina, our women learn from the women of the Ansari, what did they learn

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to dominate men? Okay. And so he said, I had a house, I had a house that was situated in our Wiley, which is a district in Medina, I have said, I already told you, I used to live there, myself. And he said, one of my wives lived there. So one day I became angry with my wife and I said something and she responded back.

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She responded back, in other words, she's defending whatever is the issue. Okay. And so I rebuked her How dare you respond back? meaning you're not supposed to be doing this, right. And so she said to me, that you are rebuking me for responding back? Don't you know that the wives of the process and respond back to him? Meaning Who do you think you are? Or are you think you're better than them, processing them, his own wives respond back to him. So much so that sometimes they abandon him in anger, meaning of some marital things happen, they leave him, maybe even for the whole day.

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Meaning Don't get angry at me, if I'm going to leave you for the day.

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the wives of the process of them do the same thing. And

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somehow, this shows us so many things. It shows us that the Prophet systems wives, even though most of them will, quote, he or she yet most of them, still they had learned the customs of

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Medina, right. And this also shows us our processes tolerating this, that he is not enforcing the customs of MCC. And it also shows us that how the wire is treated, the processing is known to the other women. And that is why and this isn't half says mother, by the way, this is another wife of her mother, this is not half so his mother, another wife, a woman, she is aware that the wives of the process and respond back to him. And this is something that is well known that every community we know overall, some of the details of the personal lives of the people right. So and so is a bit strict, so and so stingy. So and stores lakhs also, this is something that kind of is well known in

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the community. So the wives of the process and him his situation is known to the other women. So Omar is shocked. So he said, I want to have sex immediately. And asked her Do you ever reply back in an argument? Do you ever reply back to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam? She said, Yes, we do. He said, Do you ever leave him for the day, meaning

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You know, you are angry and quiet. And you know, the the standard thing that happens, just don't talk for the day? And she said, Yes, we do. And so

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he, and of course, by the way, Subhanallah I mean, the whole story here, one of them, one of the really beautiful things about the story is, it really shows us the humanity of everybody involved. You know, this perception that some of us have, and I've said this many, many times, is a super human perception and needs to be removed from our minds, okay. Our process of them is the best human, but he's a human. He is not divine, he's not God. He is a human being. And his wives are the best women. But there are nonetheless wives and women, right. And so we see here that just like every couple has its backs and forts, every couple. So here we have the wives of the Prophet system,

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responding back to him, and in irritation, not speaking to him for half the day for the day. Now, if anybody else were to do this with the process of this as a type of gopher, I'm being very theological here, if anybody else right, were to be irritated or angry with the Prophet system, this is impossible, but things are allowed for his wife is why is that is not allowed for other than his wives. And this shows us that yes, in marital issues is going to happen. And we're going to come back to this point later on. And so when Maria hottub, rebuked, have sought, and he says, Whoever does this has indeed lost everything. Are you a fool by the hour, the Arabic word called Aloha,

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Salah means, Are you a fool? Are you crazy to have done this? Now? He is angry at hafsa? How dare you do this? And he says to her, he says to her, are you not scared of the anger of a law upon you? If the messenger is angry with you? So he is acting like every Muslim, other than the wife should act? Right? Meaning the wives have some laxity, that no other Muslim has? You understand what I'm saying here? Right? aroma, blah, blah, blah, saying, Are you not scared? If they're a pseudo law system is angry with you? How about Allah? Is he going to be angry with you? Think about it. This is not just a regular human being this is a pseudo law setup. So if you are irritated with him, what if

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Allah becomes irritated with you? And so and then he says that, and though he commands her, never reply back to the Prophet system, if he ever gets angry at you never replied back to the Prophet system, and never asked him for any of your needs. Come to me, Don't irritate him. Right? So Omar wants to now be a a mediator, that don't bother him for anything you want to something extra, I'll give it to you. Even though of course, Sharia wise, the father doesn't need to give to the daughter who's married, right? But he is saying to her, just you, you don't get involved with this, I will, I will give you anything extra. And then he says that, let not the status of your companion

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deceive you about your status, meaning he's hinting at our issue, right, don't make chaos upon our issue and what she does. Four indeed, she is more graceful or beautiful and more dearer to the Prophet system, then you are meaning put yourself in your place, she will get away with things you will not get away with. Okay. And this shows us again, it's human nature, that the one whom you will love, right, will be able to do more than the one whom you do not love. I mean, those of us who are parents, our children get away with everything. And we still give to them, is that not the case? Right? This is the way Allah spent, Allah created us, they can do anything, and we still will

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forgive and turn the other cheek. This is the reality of being a parent. So the more you love, the more you will forgive. And so I'm gonna be saying, Yeah, hafsa you are not our issue. He's saying this in a nice way. You are not our issue. You cannot get away with what he can get away with. And he understands Of course, as a father in law and as a father to hafsa he's trying to make sure the marriage remains peaceful and good. And as we know as well, at some time, most likely before this incident hafsa had been divorced once I had mentioned this before, right house I had been divorced once and Allison had essentially been down to the process them and told him a lot is commanding you

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to take how far back because she is so warm up a woman she is a lady who fasts and a lady who prays and she will be your companion in gender. So overlook, I mean, she was the daughter of aroma. So she must have inherited you know, and this is the these things are not mentioned in the sealer nor should they be mentioned. Okay. But nonetheless, she is the daughter of Roma. And so whatever her faults might have been in a personal nature, Allah reminded the process that I'm she is a religious lady. She has lots of prayer, lots of fasting, so overlook this and she will be your companion in gender. So he took her back. Omar is not aware of what has happened, obviously, and he is worried it

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might happen again. So Omar then continues the story and he said

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I used to have a competitor

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from the onset, and we would take turns, accompanying the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, one of us would take care of the, the cultivation and whatnot and go and the other would go to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam for the date, meaning what?

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Meaning that aroma and all of the Sahaba, they had their lives to live as well. They didn't just give up their occupations and sit all day in the masjid. They have to work they have to toil they have to struggle. A lot of times, we don't think about this, realize that every Sahabi had to earn a living, every one of them is going to work nine to five, whatever they would be doing. So Rama is busy in his life, but he wants to benefit. So what do they do? The two of them agree to alternate, his neighbor and him they will alternate. One day, I'll do the chores for the both of us, you go to the processor. The other day, you do the chores, I go to the process and look at how much eagerness

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they have to attend with the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. So one day he's and he said as well, that during this time, we were discussing the last salmonids, and how they might attack us now. This is why some scholars say this incident occurred, basically at the time of HAZOP, or something were posted up because that's when they're worried about the standards. Okay, the standards were a threat, basically, up until the book.

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So after the book, they were not a threat. So this phrase here, kind of suggests this is before to book a lot. Why them so here's, as I said, there are multiple things we don't know exactly when this incident took place. Now, one day, he said, after had gone to sleep after Southeast Asia and of course, those days after Asia, they will go to sleep immediately. Because there's no light, there's nothing you go to sleep, my neighbor came running and he's knocking on my door. And this is very dangerous or scary, I should say in the middle of the night, you know, to get this so he rushes out or whatever. And he says, What is the matter? What is the matter? Have the Hassan is attacked?

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So he's thinking, the only reason my neighbor would be knocking at you know, 11 o'clock or whatever, are probably not 11 and probably realistically be after Isha. So whatever it would be nine o'clock, 10 o'clock at night that have a son is attacked. So he's only thinking of one thing. his neighbor says no, something worse has happened. The profitsystem has divorced his wives.

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Now this is amazing, because the sun is attacking his war.

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And for the unsavoury the wives being divorced is worse than war.

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something worse has happened. And that is the process of divorcing his wife. Why? Because a personal tragedy will hurt them more, and especially or more than a communal tragedy. And this shows us the love that they had for the process of them that they're actually saying a personal loss is worse than a communal war. And therefore, Armando hottub says, As soon as the fudger prayer was over, I dressed myself in my garments, and I rushed to the house of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and of course he was not there. And helps I want to have some and have some was crying, have so was weeping. So he says to her, that has the process and divorced you all. And have said I agree, I

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don't know. I don't know if I am divorced or not. However, he has left us and gone to a ante room, if you like an attic room or something. And then another version, and another version. Also in Sahih. Muslim, Omar says I rushed to the masjid after fudger. And I found all of the people gathered in the masjid. just flipping pebbles and moving pebbles, meaning they're waiting, what is happening? The whole community is now in the masjid. They're concerned what is going on. And the rumors had spread that the process of had divorced all of his wife's. This is the rumor that has spread that he divorced all of his wives. So he says I want to usher in this version, he goes to Asher First, I

00:29:03--> 00:29:29

want to Asia. And by the way, this is the the evidence has some use to say this happened before the verses of hijab came down because he would not have gone to Ayesha after the verses of her job. Others will say well, he visited her and she was behind the curtain because we don't know if you saw her or not. Okay, so Allah knows best. Again, all of these opinions are out there. And we don't know when this incident occurred. Nonetheless, she says I want to Arusha and he's and I said to her, oh, Dr. Abu Bakar.

00:29:30--> 00:29:59

Oh, Dr. Walker, have you gone to the extreme of troubling, the professor says that he is now basically in his room. In other words, he is rebuking her, what have you done, that you have done irritated him that he has now left all of you. And so he had just as a sharp turn of a tongue as he did, right? She's not somebody that is going to accept this from him or her pop. And so she says the habanero hot tub back to him because he called her you have been through so the I've been therapy and he also did

00:30:00--> 00:30:39

So I've been to the bunker, the doctor boubakeur. So if she goes by given a hot tub, or sort of hot tub, go and take care of your own vessel, meaning hafsa, you're worried about me and go ask what hafsa has done. You think I'm the culprit, your daughter is just as much of a culprit as I am, right? Go worry about your own glass vessel. And you know, the, the, they're calling the wife, the vessel here. And so he realizes that my daughter is also guilty, because he initially assumed that, that I sure would have been the main culprit. But then I she says, No, I'm not your daughter is just as guilty. So then he says, he got the version goes, he goes to hafsa. And he finds her crying over

00:30:39--> 00:31:18

there. So then he says that, so then he rebukes hafsa? And he says, didn't I tell you? Meaning the last few, whatever it was the first review? Didn't I tell you this? What happened? Didn't I tell you not to respond back to him. And then he said something a bit harsh to her. And I knew this was his nature. And maybe, of course, you can say to children a little bit harshly what others might not say to them. So he says to have so that, you know that Allah's Messenger does not love you. And Allah knows if this was true or not, I don't think this is true. But this is his way of being harsh with his daughter, you know that he doesn't love you. Maybe he meant he doesn't love you as much as he

00:31:18--> 00:31:52

loves Isha. And we're it not for the fact that I am your father, he would have divorced you long time ago. So this is what he's kind of being a little bit harsh. And so on hearing this helps, of course, what is she going to do? she breaks up into more bitter tears. And so he says, Where is the process of them? And she tells him, he is in his Auntie room, this. Now what is this ante room? What is this attic, the books of Sierra really primarily mentioned this room in this incident, that's when we know it exists. It appears that in the messages of the Prophet sallallahu, Alayhi, wasallam.

00:31:54--> 00:32:08

There was a small chamber that you would have to climb, there was a ladder there. And it was used for by the process and I'm just to get some privacy. And he would not ever live there is just something that's a

00:32:09--> 00:32:47

private room, if you like an office room or something that he would just sit. So this is the main time he actually uses it to sleep. Otherwise, it's not really mentioned that much in this era. So what was this room used for? A lot, who Island but for sure, because of what's inside the room, the processor would use it occasionally. Because there is a mat in the room and there's a water receptacle in the room. So he's using it occasionally. When would he use it a lot, Harlem's just it's in the masjid. And it would be some type of connection that you have to climb up the ladder, and then go inside, and there's a small room over there. So Omar is told he is in his attic room, if

00:32:47--> 00:32:50

you like. So Omar says, I went

00:32:51--> 00:33:29

to that room, and there was one of the servants are the slaves of the Prophet sallallahu. Why do you send them standing there and one version that is denied and other versions and other habits Indian slave. And so I said to him, ask permission for the process of that I can enter, I'm going to go hop up, I can enter. And there's two versions and one version, the servant goes in, and he comes back and he says, I mentioned you're outside, but the process of did not respond. So he goes to the member, and he sits there, and everybody is crying and weeping because they're all distressed at the discretion of the process to them, until he becomes overpowered, how long are you going to sit, he

00:33:29--> 00:33:39

goes again, he tries again. Second time the servant comes back, he says he didn't say anything to me. Then the third time he comes. And he says permission has been given. That's one version and another version.

00:33:41--> 00:34:24

He asked permission and ask permission. And then the third time, he says that he says it loudly so that the process him could hear. So he says that go ask permission. For I think that the process is thinking that I'm coming for the sake of epsa meaning as a father in law, meaning to take her back, no ally. That is not the case. For if Allah His Messenger had told me to execute house, I would obey the commandment of the process and meaning I'm not taking half society or I'm not coming to as a father in law Xhosa for help. So I'm basically coming as a friend as a person to find out what is happening. So when he says this, then he is given permission to come into the room. And of course,

00:34:24--> 00:34:59

this is the famous incident of the Syrah that all of us have heard since we were children. And it is now this incident occurs that moment, Bob looks in this small room and he says I only found in it some barley, some dried basically wheat or something not even made bread, equivalent to a handful and a semi tanned leather bag of water and a chamber pot basically over there. And I began to cry, looking at this sparse room, and of course, he was reclining on a fiber mat and when

00:35:00--> 00:35:28

He turned around to see me. So I could see the marks of the fiber on his shirt. So he's lying down the upper shirt is not there. And he's wearing the result of the lower the lower garment. So when he turns around to face, so then all of the mat that is a fiber mat, so it is made out of the, the the leaves, not the leaves it is the branches are the twigs of the date palm, right. So it's something that we can understand. It's not a mattress, it's not comfortable. So something that's very hard. So

00:35:29--> 00:35:57

I asked him that. Yasuda law, have you divorced your wives? Right then? And there the first question. Have you divorced your wife's a lotta nysac. So you confirming the rumor or dispelling the rumor? So the President said No, I have not. So Omar said, Allahu Akbar. And this shows us the common so now when you hear good news, you're supposed to say a lot. But this is where the sooner is common throughout this era, when you hear a good news, you say, Allahu Akbar. So

00:35:59--> 00:36:02

here is where also almost realized that I need to now

00:36:04--> 00:36:46

alleviate the tension of the Prophet sallallahu sallam. So he tried to have a conversation soften, you know what's happening? So he says, Yeah, Rasulullah? Don't you remember the people of the kurush? How we would dominate over our women? Don't you remember the good old days? Right? How we would, you know, dominate over the woman. But then we came to Medina. And lo and behold, we found the opposite, that the women were dominating over the men, and our women have learned from their women. So he's trying to, you know, lighten the mood, right? How a woman have learned from their women. And one day, I became angry at my wife, and lo and behold, she replied back to me.

00:36:47--> 00:37:28

And I did not approve that she replied back to me. And she told me that, who are you to not approve when the wives are the process of reply back to him. So he's telling him the whole episode and story in order that, of course, to alleviate this pain, and he tells the whole story that I went to have saw, and I told her that, you know, be careful, do not reply back to the processing. And He even told the process. And I told her, don't be deceived by the status of your companion, that you're not equal to her, and she'll get away with what you will not get away with. So he's telling everything to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, and at this the process that I'm smiled, so Omar's

00:37:28--> 00:38:11

alleviating is working here. And this shows us that the common thing that is human society, husbands, every time they come together, the crack jokes about their wives, and wives, when you all come together, what do you do other than put your husband's down? Right? This is the reality of men and women that we find comfort in, you know, strength in numbers, right? When we talk about the domineering attitude of women, and we all snicker and giggle amongst ourselves, we actually find some comfort, that is not just me, all of our wives are doing this to us, right? And then the women as well, when they make fun of the idiotic nature of their husbands, you know, men are so backward

00:38:11--> 00:38:48

or stupid, or whatever they make fun of I don't know, of course, I'm not privy to the women's circles back there. But however, they make fun of their men, so they find comfort as well. That is not just my husband, who is that stupid. It's not just my husband, who is that backward. They're all that stupid, right? So some Hana love, it's common, it's human nature. Here we have Romano hottub in the process, and I'm basically talking about women and how they are and how they do this and that and so they find some comfort and consolation. And we also learn a very basic thing that when somebody is in pain, then bring some light heartedness. You know, the process is hurt, you know,

00:38:48--> 00:39:31

it's a very we all of us who are married, we know it's a very painful thing to have marital dispute, and he is now living alone. So no doubt and painful so I'm gonna have a hot tub is just cheering him on bringing changing the subject bringing in a lighter mood. And so when he saw the process of smile, this made him now encouraged and he continued talking to the process of him, and he had you know, he smiled again for a second time. So now we're gonna hop off he was confident. He says, May I sit down and have a conversation meaning he hasn't even sat down yet. He's so tense himself. Right? So he said can I we can we just you know, you know continue as that new car solo which means Can I

00:39:31--> 00:39:59

have a dialogue with your suit? So then the process m gave him permission, and Subhanallah this also shows us you know, the stereotype we have a rumor of being that harsh and whatnot. Here we see the gentler the wiser size of as well that he understands Look how a process him is going through some issues we need to now you know, just see what I can do to cheer him up. Right. So we see this other side of football as well. And this is when he says I sat down and I lifted my head now to see what else is in the room.

00:40:00--> 00:40:48

He said, Why Allah I could not see anything in that room. It's a bear room, other than some animal hides that were, you know, just a camel or sheep hide over there. And I said, O Messenger of Allah, why don't you make dua to Allah that He gives you? sustenance and your own motives, make dua to Allah that we have wealth, as he has given wealth to Persia and Rome to kisara and to the Caesar, even though they don't worship Allah subhanho wa Taala and marble hapa. At this point, he began to cry. And so the president said Yamaha Padma Yuki, why are you crying on top? So he says Yasuda law Why should I not cry? This Matt has left its mark on your back and you are a lost messenger. And

00:40:48--> 00:41:30

compare this to Caesar and compare this to kisser Ah, and here you are. You are the Mustafa and Habib and the chosen one, how and you are living like this when they are living like that. So when he said this whole process of them got up from the mat or the thing he was on, he got up, stood up, not stood up, he sat up. And he said he Abner hottub. Are you in doubt? Are you in doubt? means? Are you having wrong thoughts right now? Are you not content that Allah has chosen us over them for the next world and given them this world for their pleasure? Aren't you happy we have the better deal.

00:41:31--> 00:41:33

And in another version, he said that,

00:41:34--> 00:42:11

that they have been given their good deeds in this world, and established enemies, they have been given the good in this so that they have nothing in the next life. And so I'm gonna hop officer Dr. sutala, ask Allah to forgive me, this was a mistake of saying that we should get more money. And of course, this is a very profound and true point of the simplicity of the life of the Prophet. So sort of the role model that he left us with. And of course, we do realize that this was not his house, this was the the ante room or the attic room. This his house was one notch above this. And it wasn't as if it's luxurious, but it was a little bit better. He had a blanket, at least, you know, he had

00:42:11--> 00:42:29

something a little bit better. He had a cot for the bed, over in this room, he had nothing. That's where this this is taking place. And also, by the way, this is a very interesting thing. That to judge the success of a person based upon his wealth,

00:42:30--> 00:42:36

to judge how good a person is based upon how much material blessings he has is wrong.

00:42:37--> 00:42:54

And this is why the process from said are you in doubt or Omar, do you think that just because we don't have and they have, that they are somehow better than us. This is what he is saying. Now, this doesn't mean that Islam tells us to be unsuccessful, but rather true success is what

00:42:55--> 00:43:43

they are here. And how is that gain? true success is living a moral and a virtuous life. This is the success Islam came to teach us. And of course, this is very true, especially in our times that our process is questioning almost Do you doubt? And that very doubt is what is common in our times amongst our youth? Especially? Why are the Muslim nations behind? Why do we have low GDP? Why this? Why is technology Japanese and whatnot? Where are we in all of this? And this is a question that has deep theological, you know, profound responses to it. The simplest one is right here. That Okay, it is may be true that people other than believers, Allah has blessed them with this world. After all,

00:43:43--> 00:44:20

they don't believe in the afterlife. So of course, this world, they want to make it into agenda. Now, this doesn't mean Islam is telling you to not be technological and scientific. We all know that once upon a time, our oma was indeed the pinnacle. But what we are saying what I am saying, success is not judged based upon GDP and technology. And it is possible that Allah will bless other people with things we are not blessed with. But what we have of correct ethics and morality, the correct virtue, the correct theology, this is far more precious than all of this world. And also another point here, and that is that perhaps one of the reasons these people are blessing

00:44:23--> 00:44:59

is because their good deeds are being returned to them in this world. That's what our processing them said. Their good deeds are being returned to them in this world, meaning what? Every time a non Muslim does a good deed, and they all do good deeds, how will they be rewarded? If they don't believe in Allah on the Day of Judgment, they're not going to get the Day of Judgment reward, so they will be rewarded in this world. So this reward will be extra money, extra prosperity, better life and what not. So this is another theological response to the question. Why do some people who are unbelievers seem to live materially better lives than

00:45:00--> 00:45:47

People who are believers. And so, aroma will have all found out from the process back to our story, that the process in him had taken a hell of an oath to a law that he would not come close to his wife for one month that he would leave them for one month. And at the end of that one month, on the 29th day road webinar, sorry, Ottawa says that I should says that when 29 days were over, the process of them then returned to us and I said, O Messenger of Allah, you have taken an oath that you will stay away from us one month, but today is the 29th day. And so the process of them said the month may be 29 days as well. And this shows us that if somebody makes a promise to Allah, I will

00:45:47--> 00:46:24

not do something for one month, then one month could be either 29 or 30. So one month, if you say one month, it could be either 29 or 30 days. Now another point, by the way, and this is the end of this version, another version will tell us other details that are is counting every single day, she's in distress. And she's literally counting the number one day number two, so when the processor comes back, and she knows that he has made a hell of you all know ahead of oath to a law, that I swear by Allah that I will not do such and such. And you're not supposed to break your head off unless you have a penalty. So I was counting, because she's waiting for 30 days. So when the

00:46:24--> 00:47:02

processor comes back on the 29th, she's worried maybe you've mistaken you're going to commit a sin by coming on the 29th. So she attempts to correct the process, this is a 29 day and the processor says no 29 days is also one month could be 29 days. So what happens after 29 days another version tells us and that is that the process of said to our Ishani began with our issue. So after one month, staying away, the first house he went to was Ayesha, and he said to her that oh Isha. I'm going to talk to you about a matter. And Don't be hasty in this decision, and go and consult your parents before you come back to me.

00:47:03--> 00:47:14

What is the matter Jada's will Allah so then he recited surah Allah has verses 28 and 29. That Yeah, Nisa, and Avi, O wives of the Prophet.

00:47:15--> 00:47:31

You are not like the other wives. You're not like any other wives. It's a very beautiful, long passage. I don't have time to quote all of it in today, but read it quickly. It's just half a page long. And in that passage, Allah subhana wa tada says that in Clinton today, the

00:47:32--> 00:48:20

Inquisitor, equivalent to the Hatter Jr. was in utter fatality no matter who knows a raccoon, Hassan jameelah. If you want this world, and its beauty, then come, I shall give you a beautiful gift and let you go a beautiful letting go. Meaning you want this dunya now the process of them had access to wealth, did he not? Right? That's the key point here. He had plenty of access. And his wives wanted some of that work that he had access to, and that belonged to him. So they're not asking for things beyond what he had. They're asking for a share that they felt was a fair share. Let us now increase our standard of living. So Allah revealed in the Quran and this is inserted as up to this day, that

00:48:20--> 00:49:01

if you want this world and all of his beauty Come, I will give you a good amount. And then let you go a beautiful letting go. Meaning a simple divorce not going to be any harsh ending you go. We're in Quinton de todos de la hora Sula, who would Darrell after. But if you want Allah and His messenger and the next life, then Allah has promised the righteous amongst you a very good reward. And the next life is in the Koran, you can read it. Beautiful, simple choice. You want this dunya now notice here is the point, what they were wanting was not at all a sin. It's not mcru is not how long, it's allowed.

00:49:02--> 00:49:26

And so Allah says, you want it, come take it, you will get it. But I cannot live with you after that. But if you continue to live in this lifestyle, and you are righteous that Allah has promised for you a great reward. Now, of course, and this is the whole point of entire story today. Our Prophet system was wanted to live that lifestyle to be the ultimate role model.

00:49:27--> 00:49:30

What the wives wanted was halal.

00:49:31--> 00:49:43

And nothing is diminishing in their character, if they want to live a better life, knowing that they have access to this money. But you see, our process of should not have lived that lifestyle.

00:49:44--> 00:49:59

And it's not appropriate for him to do so. So anybody who wanted him must choose that lifestyle. And this is what the Quran came down to say that if you choose a line His Messenger, you will get your reward in the next life. So this was the choice

00:50:01--> 00:50:32

Every one of his wives was given this choice, beginning without issue. And that the process of them said to her, Don't be hasty. Think about it, and go ask your mother and father. And Alisha is narrating this headed is another idea she's already good directly. She says that, that he told me to consult my parents, because he knew my parents would never tell me to leave. Meaning she felt that the processor system may be assumed she might want to leave.

00:50:33--> 00:51:13

And of course, the process did not want her to leave. But he might have been worried that this young girl might want to leave. You see the point, right? So she says he says Tasha, Don't be hasty. Consult your mother and father. And now she seems to be a little bit irritated. I'm not that immature. I know what I want. And so she says back, what is there to consult your rasulillah? Is this something I need to ask about? I have chosen Allah and His messenger and the last World adopted and destroyed. I don't need to consult anybody. And this shows us Yes, I sure wasn't mature. I should fully understood that there is no choice here. One choices, money in this world and that's it

00:51:13--> 00:51:49

and the next choices a line is messenger and the next life, what do I have to consult with? And this also shows us that when the choices are so clear, you don't pray a staccato you don't go and ask people it's crystal clear. What needs to be done. So she didn't even press the harder She didn't even go to her mother and father she made up her mind right then and there is there any need to consult my parents that'll suit of law, I chose Allen as messenger. And this shows us not only her maturity, of course, it shows us her emotion as well. It shows us her Eman and her taqwa. And how he then says that

00:51:51--> 00:51:55

oh messenger of a lot. Don't tell your other wives that I have chosen you.

00:51:58--> 00:51:59

Meaning

00:52:00--> 00:52:01

meaning what

00:52:07--> 00:52:09

she wants the others to

00:52:10--> 00:52:31

to choose something else. Okay, Yasser Allah don't tell your other wives that I have chosen you. And our prophets are seldom said that Allah has sent me as a mobile live as a conveyor. And he hasn't sent me as a more and more damnit somebody who is harsh or cutting off from others. Meaning This is not your

00:52:32--> 00:52:47

right, or your option or your business, that I it's not my job to make their lives difficult. Because if they leave, they will not have a lun as messenger. Right. And in the long run, they will be the ones that will obviously lose. And this really shows us that no doubt.

00:52:49--> 00:52:55

He loved him more than the otherwise we all know this. But his extra love for her did not ever cause him

00:52:56--> 00:53:11

to not be fair with the other, or mahat meaning. And he clearly says a lot did not send me to make things difficult for anybody for anybody. And that, of course, includes his wives as well. And

00:53:12--> 00:53:29

it'd been a bus. And so by the way, every single wife chose, obviously, to stay with him. And this shows us the amount of the wives as well, none of the wives, and they would have gotten a fortune, because he had access to fortunes. But none of the wives even considered leaving

00:53:30--> 00:53:38

the messenger and giving up the promise of a loan. Of course, this is exactly what we expect from the old mahat old Mini. And

00:53:40--> 00:54:24

remember bill Hopper, by the way, another in another version. So there are a number of versions and another version, he adds a detail that he says to He says to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that all messenger of Allah, if you have any trouble with any of your wives, and if you divorce your wife, if you want to divorce them, then know that Allah is with you, and his angels and God and Mika L and I am with you and I will work through this with you and all of the believers are with you. And Bob said that, I would always hope that Allah would back me up in things that I say. And three times that happened that Allah revealed revelation to basically back Omar up and this is one of those

00:54:24--> 00:54:32

times. That what I said, Allah then revealed, what is the verse that Allah revealed, half is up.

00:54:36--> 00:54:37

Whereas the other half is up.

00:54:39--> 00:54:43

Other Half is up, both half the subs and the non half is up.

00:54:46--> 00:54:54

If you divorce them then Verily Allah is with you and his angels and God then Mika, he then I am within our bucket is with you and the believers are with you.

00:54:57--> 00:54:58

Louder

00:55:00--> 00:55:00

What's the verse

00:55:04--> 00:55:04

The what

00:55:06--> 00:55:09

what's the verse that's the beginning of this little

00:55:11--> 00:55:12

as

00:55:14--> 00:55:14

I you

00:55:15--> 00:55:15

know

00:55:17--> 00:55:19

what is the verse I'm forgetting it myself I was it was done

00:55:23--> 00:55:26

within a matter of minutes I'm quite intense into it but then I but it does have it said well

00:55:27--> 00:55:29

no it's more this is more it's more of this I'm

00:55:33--> 00:55:34

not that's not the one

00:55:37--> 00:55:57

when I went back to Baghdad a couple here the one right before this what is the one right before this panel guys I have three or four sitting here had to stop for like about half of the swelling has this is the problem going backwards. I have to go to iraq iran and my iPhone stuff for a lot I was in the middle of forgive us this big lapse. Big lapse is a very big last

00:55:59--> 00:56:41

what Intel ah ha la la he for in De La Hoya moda, who would you believe was harder and more money while Malacca to buy the helicopter here. This is sort of the tidy verse for so this phrase Omar said something similar for in Allahu Imola Would you believe well soluble meaning. So Omar said if you divorce them, then Allah is your protector. Allah is your molar and Jubilee is your molar and Mikhail is your molar and I am your mole know about charisma. In other words, he is the father in law. This is very powerful. He's saying Yasuda law, if you divorce your wife, I am on your side. Not on the side of my own daughter. I'm on your side. And Allah is on your side. And God is on your

00:56:41--> 00:56:53

side. So this is a BS basically telling the process whatever you decide to do, we will be on your side. And even Abbas By the way, another incident I quickly found in one of the books of Howdy. This is actually in Bahati

00:56:54--> 00:57:34

in a bus, as a young boy, he's probably 11 or 10 years old, in a bus remembers this day as well. And just three lines because he's not in the inner circle. Even at buses. One day we woke up, and the rumors had spread, we heard that all of the wives had been divorced, and they were all crying. Now this is of course not a true rumor. And all of their families were with them. So I went to the messenger, you can imagine the young boy coming to the masjid and it was full of people. So this was now a community event. Everybody is now at the masjid, what is happening, and Omar came when the process was in his private room. So our buses had been sorry, even our buses watching what's going

00:57:34--> 00:58:09

on around what came when the process was in his private room, he asked permission to enter for three times notice the same incident almost narrating from the first person. Now if an Ibis is telling us from the third person, and then he entered and asked the process and have you divorced your wife, wives and the President said no, but I have done ILA for one month from them. And ILA I will get to right now. And so, even our boss said he remained 29 days away from his wives, and then he entered upon them, okay. So, this is the famous story, it is called the story of the prophets ILA. So, what exactly is Isla

00:58:10--> 00:58:36

Isla is to make an oath a hello to Allah subhanho wa Taala that you will not come close to your wife for a particular period of time. And this is permissible, if the period of time is less than Now, what is the maximum four months is what is typically said, and our processor made a law for one month. And it is used when

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marital disputes are going out of hand. And the husband wants some time to be away and for both parties to think and to cool down basically. So this is what ILA is. And our Profit System did this either. And he did it for one month, and we said one month can be 29 days. Now, this is the famous story of ILA. Many benefits can be derived from this story of those benefits, is that and somehow that this list is not complete, I mean, time is limited, and, unfortunately, will I so many benefits, maybe I can't give a pseudo class about this, because I already have, but maybe in another hotbar or something, this story needs to be elaborated on even more, but of the benefits is that

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social customs and gender roles vary from society to society.

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And Islam does not dictate a particular specific gender role as long as the overall guidelines of the study are met.

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And this is very clear that how women interacted with men in Makkah, is very different than how women interacted with men in Medina. And Islam did not come saying the Moroccan custom is prevalent or the Medina and custom is prevalent. Rather, Islam allowed the block both and this is something that we see

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In every single culture of an Islamic Society To this day, that the women of one land might be more whatever you want to call it, timid or whatever, and a woman or another will be more bold or whatnot. And the Shetty does not have a particular you have to do this or that. Rather, this goes back to the culture of each of these societies, as long as the laws of the city are met, and therefore there's no harm in US adopting to our own culture, as long as once again, there's no explicit shediac commandment that has gone against, and this is something that is very relevant, especially to us Western Muslims, that the fact of the matter is jokes aside in everything, our

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gender interactions, and our gender roles are very different than the bulk of the Muslim world. And we have extremes here. Many of us think that the Muslim world, the way that the gender interactions take place is the ideal. And many of us are dismissive of that, whereas others are dismissive of the Westerners role. And the fact of the matter is that the Sharia allows for a spectrum. And within that spectrum, it is halal. Beyond that spectrum, when it goes beyond that what is beyond that is beyond the scope of this class, right. But if the Shetty allows it, then it is permissible to take it into account as well. And there's no doubt that modern Western society is far more. I don't like

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using the term progressive, but as the term that is coming to mind now, but it is far more modern. And I give us sisters how Lackawanna explained very clearly that this is a modern phenomenon. The third wave of feminism, we're living in a post feminist world, this is a very modern face, and it didn't exist 50 years ago, 100 years ago, as long as we understand that, and we're not saying that is right.

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I'm also not saying that is wrong. There are elements of it that are permissible, and we can adopt and take it. And there are elements that are beyond the scope of Islam, how we should stop and draw the line over there. So this clearly demonstrates that also of the benefits of this incident, and I mentioned this before as well, is the humanity of the profits as soon as wives and even the prophet SAW, I said them himself that if Allah had willed our process and could have had a fairytale marriage, if Allah had willed, We would have not ever heard of any of these things. But these incidents bring to home that even our profit system is having marital Spats back and forth. And

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the wife might say something, the husband might say something, they're not talking to one another. This is life.

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Now the question arises, why would Allah subhana wa Taala give this to our professors Adam, and not give him something that is a fairytale marriage? And their response is that

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how else would we learn how to cope with our own marital problems and issues.

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Our Profit System was a human, the best human but a human and his wise were human. And therefore their problems were resolved in the best manner. So we learn from how they resolve their problems. And this is shown I mean, again, so much can be said here, but of the most important things is that in this society, women were mistreated and abused. It was the norm to physically discipline a woman. And in fact, in some versions, or monumental hubbub was reported to have hit his wife when she responded back to him and some versions of the idea that he disciplined his wife. And in a society that accepted physically disciplining a woman. It is beyond the shadow of a doubt that our profits

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are seldom never once lifted his finger against a woman in a society that was the norm. It was not just acceptable. It was what happened. Everybody did it. It's something that is standard. And yet our profit system as Ayesha himself herself said, I assure ourselves that that will law he she swore by a law never was the hand of the process and lifted up against any woman or any servant in a society where everybody hit their women and hit their servants and slaves, he never did that. So this demonstrates for us the perfect role model of our profit system in the treatment of women. However, disciplinary action sometimes is required by one or both of the parties. So what is that

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display action? Well, first and foremost, you ask you tell you demand what you want. Then after that, if that doesn't work, we have it in the example of the process, which is what? Leave for a while, right? Don't be with the person. Leave them for a while and let things calm down. And Allah says in the Quran, why Judo Hoon FMO Barger leave them abandon them in their beds in their houses. Now notice, inshallah none of you bro.

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in this audience do this. But unfortunately, stories like this do exist that the man tells his wife to leave. And this is an Islamic. If this happens, the man leaves not the woman.

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The man leaves not the woman, where did the wives of the process go nowhere, they stayed home. If the situation gets so bad, they're shouting, there's yelling, they're screaming, and you don't want to sleep in the same bed or what not, it is the man who either sleeps on the sofa or goes somewhere else, not the woman. And this again shows us the the mannerisms of Islam, our processing of left, not the women, you never kick a woman out of her house. Unless the divorce takes place as a separate thing that is not her house, right? Then she goes to her. But otherwise, no matter how bad the situation, the man leaves, and not the woman of the benefits that we gain from from all of this, is

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that

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the news of the marital problems are the process that I'm spread to the entire city, not just that Allah revealed in the Koran verses.

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And this shows us that to have a marital problem is not in and of itself, something that is so embarrassing, that it is like taboo, that nobody can talk about it. We have extremes in our societies, especially in Muslim cultures, where it becomes complete taboo, to mention marital problems. And it's a problem. Because

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when you mentioned to other people's solutions can be found. When you go to family, when you go to friends, and you tell them what's happening, solutions can be found when our culture tells us that do not talk about any problem. Now, of course, the flip side is you talk about every problem. That's the other extreme. And as usually summers in the middle of viously, husbands and wives, obviously, I don't need to be you know, but still, you don't go and tell every minor argument and he said this, and she said that to everybody in the world. But on the flip side, nor should you think that it is taboo to go and tell major problems. In this incident, the whole city of Medina knows that the

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process him and his wife is having an argument.

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And they're in the masjid crying because they love the process. They love and they're hurt at his hurt. But the process of not embarrassed that they know I'm having a marital issue. Right? And this shows us it's not and this is especially a problem with the men especially, especially the men, women, maybe the opposite problem. They talk too much about the problems of the marriage. And that's a problem, right? But men have the exact opposite problem. They don't want to go to counseling, they're embarrassed. In this Masjid, we have had so many marital classes, right? Every time we've had a marital class. Mashallah sister section full brother section, five brothers, three brothers,

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10 Brothers, that's it.

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It's as if for the brother to show up. It's something that he's it's a taboo. It's embarrassing. And this is wrong. We all need help. We all have problems with our wives, every one of us if I process them had problems, do you think your marriage is not gonna have problems? It's human nature. The good marriage is not the one that doesn't have problems. It's that inshallah the problems are trivial compared to the positives. That's the good marriage. Right. And there's no doubt our process and had the best marriage than in that case, how often did this happen in his lifetime?

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once once, in his entire lifetime, once was it so bad that he had to leave? Frankly, for most of us? How many times did that happen? Right? Don't answer that question, guys. But I'm saying, so this is the perfect marriage, right? This is the perfect marriage that one time in his life. It got so bad that so he demonstrated for us how to sew. And by the way, I mean, this is a marriage class here The time is already over. But some how to look, one of the best ways to solve a problem is to just separate for a while. Let both parties

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cool off, calm down. This is one of the best ways because the both of them realize, you know what I was a little bit too much about us when we have it right. As for our process, and of course, he did not do anything wrong. There's nothing you know, he did not he was quiet, of course. But he gave them the opportunity to make them realize, you know, I went too far, right? But in our situation when that happens, and we leave the parties leave one another for a day. And obviously one month was a long time and they needed that one month to think these matters through who should they choose. But for us we leave for a day two days, what not this gives both parties the time to calm down to

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think about what was the problem and then overcome it. And this was our what our Prophet sallallahu Sallam did. Another benefit is that the in laws can and should get involved, if the need arises or whatever Bob comes and he gets involved, and he tells his daughter, don't do this. Do that.

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You need something come to me whatever. And it's positive for the inlaws to get involved if they do so wisely. And this negative if they do so unwisely are the benefits of this story is that and this is a fifth a benefit, the husband has the right

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to give his wife the option of divorce, which is what our processing did. And this is called FDR choose. So the husband can say to the wife, that, so this is not the husband giving divorce, because that's divorce. This is the husband giving the option of divorce to his wife. So he will tell the wife, let's say they had a major issue a major problem, they cannot resolve it. So the husband can say, look, you have a day, think about it. And if you want to divorce, you may divorce. So he gives her the power of divorce.

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Clear, usually who has the power to divorce.

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The man has the power. And that's the meaning of what originally Alejandro de Raja, that the man has a degree over the woman mean the power of divorce, but it is halaal. And it is in some occasions wise, because in this case, did our processing once divorce? No, he did not want divorce. But what what is he going to do? So he tells his wives if you want, then it is your choice. And this is called FDR and most of the fuqaha and it is in Charlotte, the Caribbean, and they allow it. In other words, the husband has the right to delegate divorce to his wife, but most of them say a time period should be given. And some of the forecasts say no, you may give it unlimited. And from this and in

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particular, the Hanafi madhhab says this, I think in the book sunny quartz, isn't it the case that when you get married, you put the permanent? Is that correct? Those who got married in Buxton, isn't there a permanent clause?

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There's a clause right in the contract. I've been told about this, that, and this is the Hanafi madhhab. The other mudah have don't allow a permanent clause. They either have say you have up to one month or one week, so you give them a time. Because they say the other mme if you give the wife the right to do forced then Allah statement, what do you the jelly I lay in the dollar job will not apply that they both have the same, right. So the other mother have say, you put a time clause in. But the Hanafi madhhab says the time clause is eternal. You have that right. And aloha island which filthy position is right. But the husband should think as well if they give this right to the wives

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then this means at any time the wife can divorce and there's a wisdom wife Eliza wizard has not given this unconditionally to the woman nonetheless, it is allowed to give her the choice of divorce for a time period, this is pretty much all over the media have allowed for a time period and if she chooses divorce, then a product takes place at her saying it and this is in contrast to

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to the usual you understand right? You understand what what is happening here. That if suppose the husband says you know after have a major fight, they can't resolve it. The husband does not want to budge, but he understands his wife has a position. So is you know what? It's up to you. If you want to leave I give you 24 hours, the choice is yours. Now, this is a DR is giving her the choice. And he's very clear that he understands. He understands what he's talking about. And he tells her it's up to you if you want to leave, you know you have until tomorrow night or whatever, think about it. So if in that 24 hours, she says I've chosen that I want to end up to the Arabic because I chose

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myself meaning I chose to leave basically then our talaq takes place at her saying it and this is never the case except in India. Right. Otherwise, the talaq takes place when he says it. But in this case, the talaq takes place when she says it because the husband has delegated that to her. And this is the issue of FDR. And if the wife chooses herself, then according to the majority of scholars, one divorce will take place one divorce will take place if she chooses herself. And the final point and of course, really the main point of this entire

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episode, or incident today is the simplicity of the lifestyle of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that truly, this is a sign that he's a prophet. Why else would he choose to live in this manner, and to cause the people whom he loves to also live in a very simple manner? You know, it's one thing you sacrifice for yourself, we can all do that, but to sacrifice for your loved ones, for your wives for your children, that is really you are setting a standard for society. And Allah azza wa jal did not want our process and to live like a king. So he chose a very simple lifestyle and all of his wives were given this option. You want to live like this, go ahead. If not, then have your

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share of money and set them why they can we will do that and none of them chose that. And so the final point is also shows us the status

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The mothers of the believers on Manhattan meaning and without a shadow love to Allah, we conclude