How to Control Anger

Yasir Qadhi


Channel: Yasir Qadhi

File Size: 12.14MB

Share Page


WARNING!!! AI generated text may display inaccurate or offensive information that doesn’t represent Muslim Central's views. Therefore, no part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

AI Generated Transcript ©

00:00:00--> 00:00:23

Today's brief quarter I just want to go over four or five practical points about how we can eliminate or control that anger how we can eliminate or control that anger and of the great Roma who have discussed this is Imam Al Ghazali and his inheritor Medina, other books, you will find discussions of anger claim as well talks about the issue of anger and how to deal with it. Three or four basic points number one

00:00:24--> 00:01:18

of the primary causes of anger is an over inflation of our own ego. Think about it. When we value ourselves more than it is worthy to be valued. Then we became we become angry at something that we should not be angry about. If we are humble, if we are meek. If we don't have Kibera, automatically, this will eliminate our anger. And that's why Allah says in the Quran, we're about to Rahman, Alladhina Yamuna and out of the whole way the hot Abuja, Hironaka Lu, Salah Hama rabada Rahman, the true servants of Allah are those who walk with humility in this earth. And then when the riffraff the rough eons the falls, when the hooligans tried to provoke them. They say salaam, notice how does

00:01:18--> 00:02:04

the ayah begin? They have humility. How does the eye end when they are provoked? They say salaam we don't need that there is a causal linkage between humility and controlling your anger, one of the main causes of anger, to be brutally honest, we need to think about that. We inflate our own pride, we have a sense of worth that is not correct. When we humble ourselves for the sake of Allah. If somebody says something, no big deal. What am I anyway? Who cares? If somebody says something about us, we don't have ego in the first place. So eliminating our ego helps control our anger. That's why I showed the Allah one has said the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never got angry, never

00:02:04--> 00:02:26

extracted vengeance because of a personal thing between him and somebody else. Only for the sake of Allah only for the sake of religion, that's when the anger would come not for his own self. So number one, to eliminate anger. Eliminate your what? Ego, your kibble your pride Be humble. Number two, to eliminate anger.

00:02:27--> 00:02:30

Eliminate vulgar vocabularies from your tongue.

00:02:32--> 00:03:21

Eliminate vulgar vocabularies, it is not of the etiquettes of the Muslim of the Mothman to use bad language, when you use bad language, the other person will increase the bad language, then you will then he then you then he and then what will happen will happen. Our Prophet sallallahu sallam said four are the characteristics of the hypocrite. And the second of them when he argues he uses foul language. Dear Muslim, and especially dear young Muslim, and especially dear teenage male, it is not cool to utter vulgarities Wallahi it is not cool. It's not something that will gain you any respect. If you know curse words we all know you know curse words. What's the big deal Ctrl it don't use

00:03:21--> 00:04:04

vulgarities to get your point across the movement has a clean tongue. When you use vulgarities in your state of anger, the other person will then increase it even more. And then the whole issue of evil consequences of anger is going to come and our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam never uttered a vulgarity in his whole life. He did not utter anything of an indecent nature, we eliminated from our tongues. Number three, to eliminate anger to eliminate the dangers of anger is the more precise thing number three, we eliminate even argumentation. We eliminate argumentation don't argue. Just let it go. Don't argue. If you don't argue the anger is going to just dissipate

00:04:05--> 00:04:49

the fact that you have to argue the point. Now we're talking about personal issues. Obviously, sometimes you have to be a little forceful. We're talking about any minor somebody says something about you about your appearance about your money and your ego boosts up. Just be quiet. Don't argue back lead believe it be our Prophet sallallahu sallam said, I promise a house in the middle of Jannah I promise a house dead center in Ghana. Listen to this for the one who avoids argument even when he's upon the house. You have the hack, but he just gives it up. Just don't argue. You have the hack. But you just give it up. You don't argue. Our professor some said I promised that person

00:04:50--> 00:04:59

a house in the middle of Jannah that was helpful Jana, which means simple example. Somebody comes and makes fun of you, the hackers with you. Nobody should make fun of you.

00:05:00--> 00:05:36

You have the right to say something to defend, you have the right to defend. But you say you know what? This person is a horrible Majah who needs a job in my job salaam let it be. You eliminate your ego, you shut your your your your you control your anger, you don't say anything vulgar, and you stop arguing that to be. Which leads us to the other point directly related to all of this, of the easy ways to dissipate anger, to not have the consequences of anger is you don't open your mouth. You see, here's the beauty. If anger remains inside of you,

00:05:37--> 00:06:28

Eve, even if I know it's there, it won't irritate me. I can see it, it might even amuse me. The minute you open your mouth, and you express that anger verbally, call us all hope is gone. Correct. If you notice anger in somebody, what are you going to do? Okay, you're angry. But as long as that anger is controlled within, and that's why our problems that hadith is authentic. When one of you gets angry, be quiet. But a simple Hadith. When one of you gets angry, be quiet, do not speak in a state of anger and you will automatically eliminate 99% of the harm of the anger Subhanallah it's amazing. anger inside of you is forgiven by Allah and forgiven by mankind. Allah never says in the

00:06:28--> 00:07:13

Quran, don't get angry. Rather, Allah says praising the believers, while cow we mean those who control who conceal their anger, the benefit, or the blessing, or the high status is not in the one who never gets angry. Frankly, it's beyond my control your control to get angry. The high status is the one who conceals the anger while cow Vinnie is the one who covers up the anger. How do you cover up the anger you don't express it simple as that. This means the other person might know that you have the anger, but you simply don't express it in the famous Hadith of the book, the incident of taboo when the three companions stayed behind when they stayed behind, and they didn't have an

00:07:13--> 00:07:33

excuse, you know, the story, the famous one, and they came to the Prophet salallahu Alaihe Salam, finally to make an excuse. And the first one, the one who narrates the whole story, he comes back and he said I was embarrassed that I presented myself to the process and um, and he smiled, listen to this phrase, the way that he would smile when he is angry.

00:07:34--> 00:08:19

Means he knew the Profit System was angry means they could recognize when he was angry. But it also means when he was angry, he would cover his own anger with a smile. Look at that. And they recognize the smile that he had when he is angry. He smiled at me the way that he would smile when he is angry. In other words, when we get angry, we frown. Our day, when the process of got angry. He had a special smile trying to cover that up the Sahaba they knew him so well. They knew this is the smile of when he's angry. That's his club SallAllahu ala he was sending even in his anger he would smile while Khalili mean Allah, you're the one who conceals, the anger does not bring it out. So this is

00:08:19--> 00:09:08

of the best ways to control the anger and to not show the evil effects. And that is to not speak to calm down. And by the way, typing on a computer. responding to an email is exactly the same as speaking. Do not write an email when you are angry brothers and sisters, do not respond to a Facebook post when you are angry. I speak from experience. Never ever compose an email or write something or a text message or a WhatsApp message when you are angry. Calm down, relax, follow the advice of our Prophet sallallahu. Either you ascend them and that is to say our OWI administrator on the regime to do will do if your anger is immense. If you're standing sit down if you're sitting lie

00:09:08--> 00:09:51

down, do not speak or write or type or answer a message in a state of anger. No one will blame you when you are angry. When you control the anger. Even if they can sense you're angry, you are not blameworthy, but the minute the anger comes out in action, in argumentation in speech in text messages, that is when the effects take place. We have to be very careful of that bottom line. Dear Brothers and Sisters, let's follow this beautiful hadith of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam controlling our anger will protect us from the anger of Allah subhanho wa Taala because when we are angry, we act foolishly and we do things that bring pain and suffering and hurt to other people

00:09:51--> 00:09:59

unjustly if somebody hurts us one out of 10 and our anger we will respond 10 out of 10 and we all know that we've all been there done that

00:10:00--> 00:10:44

and final point, brothers and sisters, especially spouses, especially husbands and wives, control your anger between each other, not just for the sake of your own marriage for the sake of your children, make sure you show Rama and mercy and compassion. Dear Brothers dear husbands, winning an argument at the loss of a marriage is not winning an argument, winning a debate with your wife at the loss of her love is a loss overall for the both of you. Specially you husbands realize your words in anger will hurt much more than the other way around. That's the way Allah created us and them that we have our issues and our weaknesses. But by and large, by and large, we can bear with a

00:10:44--> 00:11:25

little bit of anger and we can overcome it if we hear it from the other side. But our better halves our women as our Prophet system said they are fragile vessels, our real he called them crystal vessels careful careful what we say because that might harm them, as if no claim says In fact, it is reported from some of the early setup as well, that possibly a word will cause more harm and physical pain to somebody than a physical beating possibly a word is going to be more painful than if somebody punched you or hit you what that person said about you might cause more pain, how much more so if it's the husband to the wife, control your anger, don't see say bad or vulgar or harsh

00:11:25--> 00:11:59

things to the one who is your life partner and the mother of your children and vice versa sisters as well control your anger don't speak in the state of anger to husbands this will be beneficial for yourself and your families and your dean and your dunya May Allah subhanho wa Taala guide us to the best of luck and make us follow the Sunnah of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. Well after that when hamdu Lillahi Rabbil Alameen we have an announcement here that we have a brother Scott who accepted Islam two weeks ago And subhanAllah he has been diagnosed with cancer. So make dua for him that way Allah azza wa jal to cure him in sha Allah, may Allah give him Shiva insha Allah