Domestic Violence If You See Something, Say Something!
Channel: Yasir Qadhi
File Size: 12.23MB
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And hamdulillah All praise is due to Allah, the One and the unique. He it is when we worship, and it is his aid that we seek. He is the Lord of the oppressed, and he hears the prayer of the week as to what follows a second and disconnected topic, but it needs to be addressed as well, brothers and sisters, and the last week in this country of ours, there have been a number of cases of domestic violence that have led to the deaths of a number of our sisters across the country in Chicago, before this in Houston, and in California and other places as well. And this is a sad reality, and almost a taboo topic that needs to be addressed. And unfortunately, it is becoming not very common,
but it is even one is more than enough. And even if it doesn't lead to death, still, the amount of abuse taking place within marriages, it needs to be addressed head on. And in this few minutes that I have remaining, I want to just bring up some simple points. First and foremost, brothers and sisters, brothers in particular. And of course, abuse takes place both ways. I know this, but statistically, statistically, it is women who are abused by their husbands more than the other way. And statistically, it is men who are more battering to the women and statistically it is men who murder their partners or ex partners, their wives or ex wives were the ones to divorce more than the
other way around. So this whole book does is not meant to neglect that it goes the other way. But the emphasis should be on the default. And that's going to be the next few minutes that I'm going to do. First and foremost brothers men realize that Allah azza wa jal will ask you about your relationship with your spouses and your children. The Prophet system said in the Farewell Pilgrimage HOLD button Wada, the fair he had a few weeks left to live, and he gave the largest hutzpah that he ever gave in his life. It's only five paragraphs read that you all know it. An entire paragraph is dedicated to protecting women. 1/5 of the whole battle WADA is meant for women and he said to the
men, he's speaking to the men, it Allah Finisar be conscious of Allah with regards to your women and wives, be conscious of Allah because you have taken them in the name of Allah and you have had relationships with them using the name of Allah subhanho wa taala. You will be asked about them be conscious of how you treated them. And in the very final days of his life, one of the last sermons one of the last Hadith that we have mentioned, is that he said to the people fear Allah when it comes to the women fear Allah when it comes to the women, we have to answer to Allah subhanho wa Taala more important than the law more important than any culture or our family and friends, every
single husband is responsible in front of Allah for what happens in the privacy of the house, and a person who raises his hand to beat a defenseless woman is no Gentleman and this is what our prophets Allah said him himself said, when women came to complain about why husbands beating them, he gave a whole book, you can read the Sierra, he gave a whole book and he said, these women have come complaining about their husbands. These men are not the best men amongst you. That's not the role model. I should have the Allahu anha said never in his life did the prophecies and raised his hand against a woman never in his life. So please, brothers, don't quote me, books are fake and what not
the role model is the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, you want to be a true gentleman. You want to follow the Sunnah Do not raise your hand against the defense this lady point number two our sisters who are in this situation and also all of us here. Understand that we need to we need to destigmatize the concept of divorce. One of the main reasons why such women remain in marriages is because they think low carb Ganga What will people say, and we need to eliminate this Jai Hindi mentality. Your life dear sister is more important than what people will say. And your honor is not based upon a marriage to your husband is based upon your relationship with Allah subhanho wa taala.
So if you have an abusive husband, if you have a husband that is being an animal to you, then don't worry about what the people will say that Sharia has granted you the option of divorce and you go to your local sheriff, you go to your elders and you tell them the reality so that a divorce can be solved between you do not remain in a situation of abuse. When the red line has been crossed, then you do not renew
Ain't it that situation? And if a lady leaves a marriage because of this, then there should be no stigma on her. There should be no issue of taboo that she has a divorce lady No. On the contrary, so many of the Sahaba and the Sahaba were divorced and they would marry divorced ladies, we have culturally made divorce into a stigma. Yes, we don't jump to divorce for the slightest reason I agree. But when there is an abusive situation when her life is threatened, when she is being beaten, then there is no concept of Iza for the husband and sanctity of the marriage, she should leave that marriage and get a divorce. And any Islamic Courts or Shediac court is going to give her a divorce
because of this issue. Point number three brothers and sisters, point number three when it comes to this reality of abuse. All too often. We men are aware that another man amongst us has this nature, we know that he's abusive to his wife, but we don't do anything. And that is honestly a silent approval of that action. What do you expect a lady to do when her husband's treating her this way, except that his family and his cousins and his friends get involved? It is our collective duty for that key fire when we know somebody is of this nature, that we get involved and prevent this from happening. In fact, there is no stigma in even publicizing this and people who are like this abusive
in nature. If they propose we should go and tell that from the oh, this person he beats his wife you should know that. You're looking at me as as if this is something strange hadith is in Behati Fatima vintage lace came to the process. And she said so and so and she gave the name so and so, gave me the hit buffer Nica. She wants to marry me. Our Prophet system said no, he is a man known to beat his wife. Heidi doesn't boy howdy. Look at our culture contrasted with the Sunnah. He told Fatima you shouldn't marry this man. This man is the abuser. This man he's known to beat his wife Subhan Allah, are we going to be more strict than the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, there is no
sanctity and honor to a man who is a serial abuser. Such a person, if he proposes it's our collective duty. Now, I'm not saying there is no salvation, perhaps a person repents, but at least the past should be known so that he is monitored so that it cannot lead to a stop for a lot a type of murder or something of this nature. And the final point that again, much can be said, but time is limited to final point. You know, they have a motto here in this country after 911. They said if you see something, say something, we don't agree with that motto when it comes to stereotyping Muslims and whatnot, it's a completely false motto. But when it comes to marital abuse, it is 100% accurate.
If you see something in your family and friends, if you see a woman being abused, if you see your cousin or even your cousin's wife, because generally speaking, who is privy to this type of situation, it is the relatives of the husband, generally speaking, who covers up the crime, it is the friends and relatives of the male brothers, men be actual men. And if your brother or your cousin or your friend is beating his wife, then where is your manhood when another woman is being violated? And you just sit there and turn the other way? If you see something, say something, get involved, bring your wife have a console that you have a reconciliation, see what is the reality of
the situation. And if the law needs to get involved, then if getting involved saves a woman's life, then we'll law he opened up the door and call 911 and say this man is physically abusing his wife and it cannot remain and continue in this fashion Muslims we have a collective duty Wallahi It is shameful It is shameful that story after story is coming in our national media about Fatima so and so in Mohammed, someone's on a show so and so do we not have a sense of Lea of the religion? How can we allow this to continue? So collectively, brothers and sisters, we need to step up to our responsibility and monitor our family and friends. And if we know of such a case, do your best to
become actively involved and minimize get involved make sure that this doesn't get to the point of it becoming an Islamic or haram. Yes, arguments happen. I'm not speaking about that. But abuse is not an argument raising your hand or leaving a bruise or broken bones. That's not an argument. So when you see the red line has been crossed, and the Shetty eye does not allow this type of abuse, then you cannot remain silent. So if you see something definitely don't just say something but get involved and collectively final point brothers and sisters, as a community as a community. We have to have domestic shelters for women who are suffering abuse one of the main reasons why such women
remain. They say Where can I go, I don't have a place my family's back home. He is treating me this way. And that is why it is for okay fire on us to have women's shelters to open up places where when we when we know of the case of abuse, we can tell the sister and her children, look you can go there for a few days. We'll take care of you until we figure out you know what is the next step and so large communities like Dallas and other major cities, definitely we need to have multiple such shelters of our faith community Wallahi it is sad and I've had cases like this where our city
sisters go to Christian shelters where our sisters go to other shelters where hijab is an issue. You know? veiling is an issue, what not why? Why don't we have enough wealth to take care of our own. So this is another tactic that needs to be done. And the bottom line, we're raising awareness. I can't give all the solutions now, but we have to raise awareness and stop this topic from being taboo. The sanctity of our sisters lives is paramount here. And there is no desire for a criminal. We don't cover up the faults of a criminal more important is to protect the innocent women. May Allah subhanho wa Taala allow us all to do so Allah many aminu Allah Allah than if you had the Jambi them
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