5 Practical Tips for a Blissful Marriage #2

Yasir Qadhi

Date:

Channel: Yasir Qadhi

File Size: 43.57MB

Share Page
AI generated text may display inaccurate or offensive information that doesn’t represent Muslim Central's views. Therefore, no part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever.

AI Generated Transcript ©


00:00:01--> 00:00:15

So welcome before I begin the football if I can ask everybody to please squeeze in we're going to have a lot of people already coming. So if we can just be a little bit packed even if you sit in the middle of the software now, but you know that when you stand up in Charlotte, there'll be a place to stand your shoulders

00:00:42--> 00:00:44

Salam aleikum wa rahmatullah wa barakato.

00:00:49--> 00:00:53

Lower close along

00:01:03--> 00:01:13

all work

00:01:22--> 00:01:28

all

00:01:31--> 00:01:31

I said

00:01:45--> 00:01:49

on

00:01:53--> 00:01:54

Shadow

00:01:57--> 00:02:04

voice Oh all

00:02:14--> 00:02:25

all

00:02:29--> 00:02:30

Hi y'all

00:03:05--> 00:03:06

Hey y'all

00:03:17--> 00:03:18

how y'all

00:03:36--> 00:03:37

along

00:03:40--> 00:03:49

all

00:03:59--> 00:04:03

all

00:04:12--> 00:04:59

in Al Hamdulillah number one a stain on Hornet still fiddle Why not oh the Willa Himanshu Rudy and fusina Woman sejati Anna Lena Mejia hottie Hila HuFa la medulla warmer Yulin Hofer la ha de la wash hadoo Allah Illallah Hua Hona Shetty kala wash Hello Anna Mohammed and I will do one more a pseudo Yeah, are you Hello Dina. I'm an otaku Allahu Akbar to call to Walter moto Illa, one to Muslim on Ahmedabad. Dear Muslims in a previous hutzpah, I had begun the topic of the blessings of marriage. And there is no question that Allah Subhana Allah Allah and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam have sanctified this union of marriage

00:05:00--> 00:05:47

In fact, Allah calls it in the Quran Meetha Cancale via a very sacred and firm contract, a covenant. Allah calls the marriage Ummi Thach. And metok means a very strict covenant and then to make it even stricter, Allah says Allah deal. It's something that is very intertwined and bound together. And there is no question dear Muslims, that of the goals of the Sharia is the flourishing of our marriages. I want you to think about that of the goals of the Sharia. Allah wants my marriage and your marriage to succeed. The goals of the Sharia are the laws of the Quran. They are Hadith of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, they are all aimed in this regard when it comes to marriage.

00:05:47--> 00:06:36

They are aimed at increasing the love between the spouses. It is a desired and explicit goal that Allah azza wa jal has intended for our marriages to flourish. In fact, we learn from the Hadith that shape on is actively breaking bonds. Shavon sends his minions shaytaan sends His ambassadors to try to break the bonds of marriage. And we learned in the Hadith in Abu Dhabi, that when a husband and wife divorce because of the whisperings of Shavon Shavon welcomes the evil gem that caused that and said you have done something magnificent. So dear brothers, if shaytaan is happy when a divorce occurs. This means that by fulfilling the marriage contract and protecting the marriage contract, we

00:06:36--> 00:07:24

are pleasing Allah and rejecting shape on it is of the goals of the surety that we make our marriage flourish. However, the Shediac comes with generic guidelines. In the end of the day, the work has to be done by me and by you. The work has to be done by each of the two partners. And so today's holds up well in sha Allah to Allah summarize five practical tips, five practical pieces of advice and wisdom from the Quran and from the Sunnah, and from the syrup and also from human experience and wisdom. First and foremost, I began by stating that it is explicitly mentioned in the Quran and in the Sunnah, that when it comes to marriage, we do not concentrate on the false and the mistakes of

00:07:24--> 00:08:06

our partner. This is one of the biggest issues that happens in a marriage, that the good of our partner is overlooked and the negative or the bad characteristics are exaggerated. Allah subhanho wa Taala explicitly says in the Quran, that it is not allowed for a believing man to hate a believing woman meaning a husband and wife they should not have this and Allah says why certain Takara who che and we urge Allah Allahu Fie, he hyaluron Kathy Rob, perhaps you might not like something meaning in the marriage, but Allah azza wa jal has brought about a lot of good through this marriage, you are concentrating on the negative, but Allah is saying you don't know perhaps there's a lot of head in

00:08:06--> 00:08:54

this. Our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said in an authentic hadith, let not know believing husband, hate, despise a believing wife. Meaning if you have Iman, if you have Why did he say believing means if you have Iman, then allow that Eman to keep your hatred in check. Let no husband who has Iman hate his believing wife and vice versa also let no believing wife hate her husband. Why the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, if you are not happy with one characteristic for sure, you will be happy with another. This is a very, very simple point of psychology to your brothers and sisters. And that is before you jump to the negatives before you think about what irritates you

00:08:54--> 00:09:35

before you concentrate on what you don't like. You have already jumped over and taken for granted what you do like you're ignoring that because human nature is you take the good for granted. We don't realize how blessed we are with our health until we don't have it with our wealth until we don't have it. So too. We don't appreciate the good in our spouse that good that perhaps at the beginning of our marriage, we appreciated we fell in love with but then we take that good for granted. So Allah and His Messenger explicitly have said to us, don't just concentrate on the negatives. Look at the broader picture. And for sure, do your brother and sister for sure. If you

00:09:35--> 00:09:59

have one characteristic you don't like you're overlooking a characteristic that you should like perhaps one of you has a temper but that same one might also be very loving with the children. Perhaps one of you might want to spend more money than your budget allows but they're also a very loving partner when it comes to words when it comes to emotions. Why overlook the good and concentrate on the bad also within

00:10:00--> 00:10:42

this point as well, we need to point out a very fundamental problem, especially of modern society. And that is this notion that everybody else's marriage is good. But my marriage is not good that you idealize and romanticize every other marriage, and especially with the social media culture, and the dramas that are what everybody is watching in Hollywood and Bollywood and all of this, you got this impression that everybody's marriage is a bed of roses. And then shaytaan comes in, says, Oh, I am suffering. I'm the one in this situation. Dear brothers, dear sisters, every single marriage has its ups and downs. And don't be fooled by the outer glitter that you think you see, I will tell you on a

00:10:42--> 00:11:18

personal anecdote when I first got married more than 20 years ago, and hamdulillah been married more than 20 years when I first got married. And I was still very innocent about marriage and whatnot. I remember there was a friend of mine who married before me. And we would think this couple is the most romantic and the most loving couple, every conversation we had, each spouse would bring up the other spouse praise the other spouse, we would think this is the epitome of a beautiful marriage. One day, I got a phone call from this brother. And he said, Sure, please come to my house. It's an emergency. And I worried I drove to his house, this is more than 20 years ago, drove to his house.

00:11:18--> 00:12:00

Turns out, they're on the verge of divorce. And I was shocked. I could not understand this couple whom all of society thought is the ideal couple, the romantic couple, the loving couple. And as the conversations proceeded, I realized and they confessed that that outer shell of love and romance, it was a complete facade, it was a complete act that they were doing. In reality, their marriage was in shambles for a long period of time. And actually, that particular couple ended up divorcing one another. Why do I say this, because shaytaan comes to you. And shaitan says to you, your marriage is bad, your marriage is pathetic. Everybody else's marriage is good. And that is not the case. Every

00:12:00--> 00:12:41

one of us is struggling in our own ways. And every marriage is a work in progress. Concentrate on what you have. The grass looks greener on the other side. But it is not the case, every single couple as its own situations. So you deal with yours, and you look at the positive before you get to the negative. I'm not saying there's no negative. But what did the prophets have some say before you jump to the negative look at the positive as well. So in your mind, you're irritated at one characteristic one attribute before you dwell on that, think about at least two or three positives that your partner has, and then see if those positives can cause you to outweigh those negatives. My

00:12:41--> 00:13:21

second point, which is explicit in the Quran, as well, the second point that we learned from the Quran, when it comes to these negatives, yes, we all have negatives. Allah explicitly says when it comes to marriage, Allah explicitly says, try to forgive and overlook and conceal the faults of your partner as much as possible. You cannot create your partner in your perfect image, just like your partner cannot create you in their perfect image. So learn to accept your partner with the mistakes and the false that he or she has, in a famous hadith of our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, which he's speaking to the man. So he's speaking in a language that they can understand. He talks

00:13:21--> 00:14:00

about women being created from a rib and the rib is inherently crooked. Then he says to the men, you cannot straighten this rib according to your parameters. You cannot straighten this, if you try to straighten it, you will end up cracking it. And by cracking it, he said, it means you will divorce the point here. Every man, every woman, they have a different way of thinking psychologically, men and women are different. And sometimes it gets frustrating for men and women to be dealing with one another when they're so different. What did our profit system mean by this crooked grip and ology he meant you cannot achieve perfection from your paradigm. You want a woman to act and think and

00:14:00--> 00:14:37

interact with you like a man but she's not she's a woman. And the same with the woman she wants the man to act and have emotions like a woman, but that's not going to happen. So accept how each one has been created by Allah because each one has a role and each one is complementary to the other in the Quran even more explicit, Allah subhanho wa Taala says that Oh you who believe some of your families and some of your spouses they are your enemies I do welcome here enemy does not mean religious enemy and me means that sometimes they're doing things are gonna get on your nerves is going to be problematic. It might cause you to have an issue even with your faith so they're your

00:14:37--> 00:15:00

enemies. Then what does Allah say? We're in Tau Foo, what does sweat who were tofu for in Allah hello for Rahim, if you forgive and you overlook and you cover up their faults, that Allah as well as afford and Rahim, this is an exquisite verse when it comes to marriage that Allah is commanding the spouses to learn

00:15:00--> 00:15:41

To forgive the other, you're not going to achieve perfection. Your spouse has mistakes like you have mistakes. If you want the marriage to flourish, you will have to perfect the art what entire food. What else for what tofu, each of these adjectives, each of these verbs indicates forgiving, forgetting turning over a new leaf to a full you erase it as if it never happens, forgive and forget what she said to you or what harsh word was said by him to you just forgive it and ignore it thus far who turn over a new leaf it's a new day does for her literally mean stuff out to turn over and you leave the past was the past, let it be the past what tell Pharaoh if you can either do awful or

00:15:41--> 00:16:22

suffer. The third thing tell Pharaoh, remember, but forgive it in your heart. Because baffled means you don't even think about it. The software means it's in the past, you're not going to dwell upon it. If you cannot get to that level, the least you can do just forgive. And then Allah incentivizes. And Allah says, just like you forgive her or she forgives you, so too, I can forgive the both of you don't you want Allah to forgive you as well. So in the Quran, we learn another important tactic of marriage and that is the tactic of forgiving the partner of having a clean heart of learning to think of the past as the past and not keep on bringing it up over and over again. That is the second

00:16:22--> 00:17:05

Quranic advice. So number one, think of the good before you get to the bad. Number two, when it comes to the bad try to forgive and try to forget number three, what if you cannot, what if that issue really is bothering you what if you cannot forgive and forget what if a mistake was made or something said or a characteristic or habit that simply cannot be ignored what is to be done? Then? Allah azza wa jal mentions a third aspect in the Quran. And that is while salehoo higher form a solar, a solar, literally the term is applied to a peace treaty, a solar means a conciliation. This is what the term the Quran uses that the husband and wife should form a solar and solar means that

00:17:05--> 00:17:45

each party comes to the table and discusses the problem. You know, literally when two countries are at war, and a solar takes place, what must happen, they must come to the table, and they must discuss the problems very frankly, and they have to reach a compromise. This in Arabic is called solar peace treaty. And Allah uses the same term between husband and wife who are fighting one another. And what this means, just like the husband and wife is a partnership between two people. If you want the partnership to succeed, each of the two has to put in the effort to get that compromise. No marriage will succeed. If one of the partners refuses to do anything, no marriage

00:17:45--> 00:18:27

will succeed until both of the partners puts in an effort. And if you want to receive something from your spouse, dear husband, dear wife, you must also give something to your spouse, if you want to receive you must be willing to give as well. And therefore if you want the marriage to succeed, and if you want the marriage to flourish, then you as well put in the effort. In fact, may I even encourage you to be the first to put in the effort. Allah says in the Quran with regards to two people who are enemies and fighting this isn't about marriage, we can apply to marriage that Allah says in the Quran, that it is possible that if you just you know, be be generous and be kind that

00:18:27--> 00:19:09

ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala will bring that kindness between them. You do not know your enemy can become your best friend. Allah says in the Quran, you do not know your enemy can become your best friend, if only you show that kindness. If this is about two warring people, what do you think about husband and wife so before you bring up the mistakes of your partner, come to the table metaphorically and literally, and express your own mistakes and desire to correct and then bring up the mistakes of your partner and see what can be done. Our Prophet Sall Allahu alayhi wa sallam also gave us another piece of advice. Hadith in Sahih. Muslim, he said, and Allah gives via kindness, what Allah does not

00:19:09--> 00:19:51

give via force and pressure. Allah gives me relief cream, when you're kind when you're gentle, Allah will give you what Allah will not give you when you're angry. And when you're pressuring, and when you're forcing. So when you're nice and sweet, when you're loving and kind to people, Allah will give you much more than when you're angry when you're mean when you're nasty when you're trying to force pressure. So if this is a generic Hadith, in any transaction, how much more so between husband and wife therefore dear couple, dear husband, dear wife, if there is an issue that is extremely troubling, and it is a mistake and you cannot ignore it, and you cannot forgive it, well, then it

00:19:51--> 00:19:59

must be brought up. It needs to be brought up and that bringing up needs to take place with kindness with gentleness and it should take place and the right time.

00:20:00--> 00:20:43

I am and the right ambiance and the right language, and no one can teach you how to influence your partner better than you yourself. You've been married 510 2030 years, no one knows your spouse and the psychology of your spouse better than you. So if you want the marriage to succeed, then you come with the love and the compassion and the tenderness that only you know your partner will appreciate. And you come with a sincere heart, and you use soft language and you use the language of us and our marriage and not accusing you did this and you did that because that's not going to be helpful. That is not psychologically helpful. In fact, if you read books of a psychologist, and books of marital

00:20:43--> 00:21:26

help and tips, one of the simple tips that we can use is to eliminate the accusative you and to start saying, we are I anything you want to say you think about how to change it into AI. When you talk about yourself and your feelings automatically you tone down when you accuse the other person becomes defensive. So when example you are irritated by somebody coming home late, like your husband might be working late for example, and you say you always come home late, you never call you never spend time. That's accusative human nature, when you're accusing the other person will become defensive, the other person will become automatically irritated, flip it around and say, I feel

00:21:26--> 00:22:10

lonely. When you don't come home. You flip it around and you talking about your own emotions. I feel as if nobody's here and I feel all alone. When you're coming home late you don't call etc. All of a sudden, instead of accusing you are now describing your pain, your suffering and if your partner has any love, then automatically it will change the discourse. So ask yourself dear couple, husband and wife ask yourself what is the goal of bringing up your partners false? Is the goal to vent your frustration? Is the goal to irritate your partner? Is the goal to make your partner angry? Or is the goal to bring about actual change because a good marriage is good for you and your partner and the

00:22:10--> 00:22:55

children and society. If the goal is actual change, then swallow your ego control your pride and don't accuse rather speak of us together speak of your issues my I have an issue with this I am in discomfort It hurts me to see you like this and it will automatically change the discourse. So the third piece of advice again straight from the Quran and Sunnah was so high that find some type of compromise. And by the way, compromise means each side must be willing to give nobody's perfect and if you want to receive you must also be willing to give. This is the third advice from the Quran and the Sunnah, the fourth advice that I have for myself and all of you. The fourth advice is that one

00:22:55--> 00:23:35

of the most important aspects of a healthy marriage is to have quality time between the spouses is to have quality time that is meant only for the spouses, private time for the family, and then also for the spouses alone. And we are all aware of that famous incident in the Sierra that occurred multiple times that our Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam told the Companions when they're coming back from a journey, he said to them, you go, the Medina was close by you go, and Aisha and myself will stay here. He didn't tell them why what would what did they plan to do? They're going to do races in the sand. We all know that hadith. We've all heard this hadith that our Isha and the

00:23:35--> 00:24:11

Prophet SAW Selim, when they were outside the city, the cities close by. And by the way, in those days, the world was very dangerous. You couldn't have couples going for a honeymoon or couples going for, you know, a vacation didn't work that way. But this is the closest that that timeframe would would allow what was the closest when they see the city in the distance relatively safe, the prophets of some said to the Sahaba you go, and I shall we will remain here. They all went on just the two of them. And then what did they do? They literally played in the sand. They literally set a place. This is where we're going to begin the race. We're going to end the race. And then he did it

00:24:11--> 00:24:49

again, as we're all aware, and I Aisha Radi Allahu anha. She's remembering this 50 years later, she's remembering this as an old lady. She's reminiscing about her youth and look at those even though it would have been half an hour one hour, but that quality time, I should have the Allah one is embedded in her memory that once I raised the profit, so I sent him he won me. And so we did it again. And then sorry, and then I want him and then he did it again. And then he won me. And then he said, this makes up for my loss of last of last time. This small anecdote, it shows us the window that I should have the allow her and she she she takes that moment as precious as something so

00:24:49--> 00:24:59

beautiful. She remembers a decades later, and she then narrates it to her students. Now in our times that Hamdulillah we can spend more than just half an hour on a race and it's a very beautiful

00:25:00--> 00:25:40

Hadith as well, by the way, which is very fascinating. Our Prophet sallallahu alayhi salam said hadith is an unnecessary he said, anything that does not have the vicar of Allah the remembrance of Allah shall be considered a waste of time, except for for at least as long as I've just mentioned the one phrase we're interested in, except for four things, even if you don't do the Quran, Quran and Tila and do an arriba. That is an investment, what one of them he said, What will Alberto Rajamouli Allah Who and the man playing with his family with his wife playing in every sense of the term, there is the conjugal connotation, no question about that the intimate connotation is here,

00:25:40--> 00:26:17

but it's also more than that, our promises and I'm played with our issue in the sand running, racing, this is play, this is spending time. Notice everything that you do, that doesn't have the vicar of Allah, it's going to be a waste of time. He didn't say it's how long you're gonna go to hell, he says a waste of time, no benefit. But there are four things he mentioned. The other three are related to horse riding and archery and others four things he mentioned. He said, even if you don't do the kicker, even if you don't remember Allah subhanho wa taala, that is good. It's positive. It's nothing wrong with that. And one of them was a man and a woman, a husband and wife

00:26:17--> 00:26:57

spending time together, playing together laughing together, enjoying together, the Shetty app wants you to invest time and money on your family, in your marriage on your spouse. And in our times that we live in the equivalent would be we go on a vacation, or we spend some alone time we cut off from our daily routine, like our Prophet sallallahu I sent him did and we do something just the two of us together to bring back the romance to spend that attention, whatever is possible according to your budget, and according to your time, whatever is possible for our profit system, it was simply a race outside of Medina, and that our mother, I should remember for many of us, it could be a weekend

00:26:57--> 00:27:36

retreat somewhere or even a trip overseas or whatever it might be. But the quality time is so important. And this is on a weekly or yearly basis. On top of this, what is our mother Aisha say? She says that our prophets are some that at night when it was after slaughter, Alicia, she would say that the Prophet system would speak to her until late in the night that he would yes Maria and he speak until late in the night. You know that privacy that intimacy nobody else is around. And that connection has to be there between the couple. And this quality time it brings the marriage and it's helped saves the love and the romance. The show the hour wants you to invest time and money in that

00:27:36--> 00:28:16

relationship because in saving the marriage you save yourself and your children and you save all of society and the final piece of advice so that was Advice number four, the final and fifth advice which is one of the most simplest and yet it is also Quranic you will not accomplish anything without Allah's color and will and you will not get Allah's color and will without making dua to Allah and following the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah. And therefore one of the Quran ik Diaz is the dua of having a good marriage and a good spouse. There are multiple hours, but the one that I want to put in everybody's mind is in the end of Surah Furqan that ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala says

00:28:16--> 00:28:26

Robina habla Ana min as wodgina with reality now Kurata Aryan that Oh our Lord, we want you to bless us, from our spouses,

00:28:27--> 00:29:08

from our spouses and our children, that which will comfort our eyes. So Allah is asking you to make dua to have a good husband a good wife, Allah is asking you put it in your daily routine, or have been a habit Lana mean as wodgina with urea, Tina Kurata Are you and you're constantly making dua that you want to spouse that is going to be a comfort to your eyes, a coolness of your heart, when you make dua to Allah, you are prioritizing your family. You're asking Allah for a good family. And along with this, of course, anytime you want something from Allah, you must follow the Sharia of Allah. So learn the Sunnah of being a husband and wife learn the dab of all of the acts that are

00:29:08--> 00:29:35

related to marriage and follow those sunnah and to get the baraka of Allah subhanahu wata either these are five simple pieces of advice that if we follow them insha Allah Who to other it will open up the doors of a better marriage we ask Allah Subhana Allah to Allah to bless all of us in our marriage and may Allah azza wa jal bless me and you with and through the Quran, and may make us of those who is versus they understand and applies halal and haram throughout our lifespan as scholars forgiveness, you as well ask him for his the before and the Rahman.

00:29:45--> 00:29:59

Al Hamdulillah all praises due to Allah, the One and the unique. It is He alone that we worship, and it is His blessings that we seek. He is the Lord of the oppressed, and he answered the drop of the week. Dear Muslims

00:30:00--> 00:30:46

If the marriage has issues that cannot be solved between husband and wife, I gave you five steps between husband and wife. But sometimes it goes beyond this. Sometimes the husband and wife cannot have their own accord solve the marriage, and it becomes something that other people are aware of. We have to realize that a marital issue that goes public is not something that we need to be ashamed about. Just because your marriage or my marriage has problems, it's not something we have to cover up. On the contrary, sometimes getting help from family and friends, sometimes expressing your frustration to those who love you and care about you will actually solve the marriage. And this is

00:30:46--> 00:31:20

even in the life of the prophets of Allah, who are they he was sitting, we're all aware of that incident where for one month, there was some tension for one month, there was some tension, and I've gone over it in my Sierra lectures. And by the way, that's a very interesting story in and of itself. husbands need to understand this is not we don't have time for the full story, but our mothers, they're human beings. And when the wealth of our profits has increased, I should say, when the access to wealth increased, he himself lived a simple lifestyle from the day he was born till the day he died. He himself lived a very modest lifestyle. But in later Medina, he had access to

00:31:20--> 00:32:02

large amounts of wealth. Our mothers are human beings. And they began asking a higher standard of living. There was nothing wrong with that request. Brothers listen to this, there was nothing wrong with that request, and had our prophets hasn't been anybody else. He would have given it to them. But you see, our Prophet system cannot live like a king. He cannot live like a wealthy person. He is Rasul Allah. He is a role model in every aspect for him to live like that would not have been appropriate. And so when those requests and demands increased, our profit system, withdrew for a month because he could not give them that lifestyle because he did not want to live that life. Not

00:32:02--> 00:32:42

that he didn't have the money. Had it been anybody else. That would not have been a problem, but he is Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi salam, then Allah revealed in the Quran. Yeah, Nisa Nibi are wives of the Prophet. If you want this dunya come, I shall give you as much as you want, and then let you go on your way. But if you want Allah and His Messenger, then they shall be your lifestyle. You can read the verses. See what Eliza? What is the beautiful point here? Our mothers were not sinful for making a legitimate request. Allah did not say it's evil. Allah did not say is haram and how dare you, they have a legitimate request. We want to live more comfortable lives. And the Prophet saw

00:32:42--> 00:33:22

some himself could not fulfill it, because his lifestyle was not like mine and yours, we can live that way he cannot live that way. But still, Allah said to our mothers, if you want, get as much as you want, but then we cannot be husband, wife in this in this world. And every one of them chose the Prophet system and a simple lifestyle. They prefer the love of Allah, and they prefer the love of the messenger over the love of the dunya. And that's why they are our mothers. The point being that incident went public, all of Medina was talking about it. Abu Bakar got involved with it. Sure Omar got involved would have settled the Allahu Anhu. And if a marital dispute had been awkward and

00:33:22--> 00:33:59

embarrassing, our profit system would not have it wouldn't have been public news, sometimes for it to go public. By public. I mean your family and friends you obviously no need to put it on the social media but family and friends sometimes for other people to know it is healthy and helpful. And this is what the Quran itself alludes to. The Quran alludes to this how and when Allah says that if the situation gets tense and divorce is on the horizon, Allah says before you get to divorce, Roberto had come in early he will come in earlier. You get to arbitrators, one from her family, one from his family, her friends, his friends, one who knows her better knows her before the marriage,

00:33:59--> 00:34:37

her his interest is more with the woman and the other. His interest is more with the man that he has sympathies for with demand from before but the both of them want the marriage to succeed. Then Allah says get them together and have them arbitrate. Allah is saying bring in family and friends, bring in cousins and relatives bring in people who care about you and get their advice. There is nothing embarrassing if your marriage is not in the way that it should be to get help from close family from friends from those who care about you forget embarrassing, this is the Quranic command. And if you want a marriage to be saved, you will follow this Quranic commandment. And Allah says in the Quran,

00:34:37--> 00:34:59

if they want reconciliation, if they want the marriage to succeed, then you affect Allah Who by whom, ALLAH SubhanA wa Taala will bring about reconciliation between them. And then the final point and this is a whole different whole, the whole issue of divorce brothers and sisters, it deserves much more than just one quick illusion. But divorce is like the emergency exit.

00:35:00--> 00:35:37

on the airplane, you know what's there, but you never want to use it. You know the procedure and everybody should learn the procedure and know it. Everybody should know it. But it's not something you constantly think about when you step on the plane nobody's thinking about all the time the exit and the emergency exit and the oxygen nobody you don't want to think like that. If you're thinking like this all the time, you're headed for disaster. That's not the way a marriage works. Yes, there is an exit. Yes, it is a halal exit, but that has an exit is only used in case of absolute necessity. And if one needs to use it, one follows the proper procedure as is found in the books of

00:35:37--> 00:36:16

filth and in the Diocese of the Quran. One of them being you do not jump to divorce until you have arbitration. Divorce is never done instantaneously. Divorce is never done in the spur of the moment. It's never done in the state of anger. All of this is wrong divorces done with more planning than the marriage you should plan a divorce even more if it needs to happen, then you plan the marriage and one of the plannings is that after the two arbitrators have come together and they both say you know what this marriage is beyond repair. Sometimes it happens it is the case. Then when both arbitrators say then in that case, you should think and contemplate divorce and it is there at the

00:36:16--> 00:36:55

very end of the plane you keep it it's not something constantly brought up. No marriage will succeed. If divorce is on the table. Every time an argument comes up, and especially husbands It is not befitting that you constantly bring up this card of divorce. How can a marriage succeed when you threatening to end the marriage for the most trivial of reasons, follow the Quranic guidelines, follow the Sunnah guidelines and realize that with this we conclude a successful marriage is beneficial for you and your spouse. We have to swallow our egos. We have to swallow our egos for the sake of Allah subhanho wa Taala a successful marriage is better for you and your spouse and for

00:36:55--> 00:37:34

children and for society. And Allah subhanho wa Taala has revealed the Sharia in order that our marriages flourish so turn to Allah follow the Sunnah of the Messenger of Allah and actively work on bettering your marriages. If both of you want the marriage to succeed, Allah has guaranteed that it will succeed May Allah subhana wa Tada make us of those whose marriages flourish Allah home and neither mineral Allah Allah Allah Allah then after 100 Yomi them been in LA PATA wala Hammond. Illa for Raja Wella Dana Illa later, when I'm ready, you don't Illa show feta when I see Ron Illa you're sorta Allah ma fildena What is one AnnaLena Saba Coonamble Iman Well, Arthur I feel Kuruvilla Villa

00:37:34--> 00:38:15

Linda Dena Amano Robina in Nakuru for Rahim Allah Who Marisa Islam or when Muslim in Allahumma Orissa Islam I will Muslim in Allahumma Islam i one Muslim in Allah Houma and Aradhana are ardent Islam and Muslim in Ebisu infringed YouTube enough say which outed me wrong feet to the bat he call you Yeah, Aziz rebels Allah in Allah to Allah Amara Combi Eminem better BBFC within the Malacca the Odyssey was a letter become a U haul moon and imaginary he will ensue for all the Azim and pardon Idema in Hola Hola, como Soluna other Nebby Yeah, you have Latina Amanu Sallu la he was selling him with a slimmer Allahumma Salli wa Sallim wa Barik adecuado Sudha Mohamed, why the early he was such

00:38:15--> 00:38:31

a big marine everybody Allah in Allah to Allah horrible ugly world ehsani Waiter is orba wion and fascia it will Moon carry wild belly you're either Camilla Isla come to the karoun Oh the Corolla had emailed Qualcomm which Korea Zilla what are the cruel lie to Allah Akbar Wa Themis salah?

00:38:50--> 00:38:52

long long long

00:38:55--> 00:39:15

long long more a shadow and more him medulla Zulu law. Hi Jana Solana de Hayyan AlFalah bottle calm Matthew SWANA don't call don't call Matthew sauna. Aloha Komodo long

00:39:16--> 00:39:17

luck

00:39:19--> 00:39:25

in more law still due to strict heroes leaving no gaps in the line

00:39:26--> 00:39:27

along

00:39:35--> 00:39:59

Al Hamdulillah he held off being on I mean, Rama Nura him Marlene Kia woman doing II cannot gonna do on he can that's the only thing they know sled all along was stealthy.

00:40:00--> 00:40:15

him sit on 2019 and I'm turning him on is in Google beyond him model was on me in

00:40:17--> 00:40:18

coming.

00:40:20--> 00:40:22

Aloha como Chaka

00:40:23--> 00:40:28

Zulu Moodle mount Corbin gala sang Fattah Ala Moana

00:40:31--> 00:40:44

sang Fatah Moon gala mucha Ala Moana in many outputting lots out on one Jehane some

00:40:45--> 00:40:51

guna ha I ain't clean. So I'm mad at us

00:40:53--> 00:40:54

is in

00:40:56--> 00:41:01

knowing Allahu Akbar.

00:41:08--> 00:41:11

Semi Allahu naman Hamidah

00:41:14--> 00:41:18

along come

00:41:24--> 00:41:26

along come

00:41:30--> 00:41:32

along

00:41:39--> 00:41:43

along uncover

00:41:46--> 00:42:15

Alhamdulillah here Robben Island me nor Rafa no Rahimi Meineke young woman Dini II cannot going to want any kindness in the no cell autonomous stealthy mostly out also on the 19 and Gianna up him while you didn't know going beyond him more than bought on me join

00:42:17--> 00:42:18

me in

00:42:21--> 00:42:22

long

00:42:24--> 00:42:40

slump doing them Yanni do one Mucuna do them nearly while I'm immune I don't want lamea Hakuna Khufu one had Allahu Akbar

00:42:45--> 00:42:48

send me along who Neiman Hamidah

00:42:51--> 00:42:55

on a column

00:43:01--> 00:43:02

along

00:43:08--> 00:43:10

along

00:43:17--> 00:43:20

along Long.

00:43:56--> 00:44:02

Center more Eileen kumara mantel off

00:44:03--> 00:44:03

center

00:44:19--> 00:44:23

so, I want to come we have two quick announcements about that since sickness is one of our

00:44:24--> 00:44:56

brothers whose mother's best oyster Sahaja Kadeem, we ask Allah subhana wa sallam to forgive her sins to exalt her ranks to make a club a place of gender and to give support to the family. And we have three requests for draft for those that are sick Brother Mohammed Nasir Ali, brother Wyman Castel and Mrs. sadiya Qureshi. We ask Allah azza wa jal for Shiva and agilon chiffon, la hora Sokka. We ask Allah, the Shafi the coffee to cure them swiftly to create them completely. We ask Allah to cause the sicknesses to be a cathedra for their sins and to cause them to return to normal immediately.