No to Domestic Violence

Yahya Ibrahim

Channel: Yahya Ibrahim

Episode Notes

share this pageShare Page

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


00:00:01--> 00:00:33

Salam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh hamdu Lillah wa Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah salam O Allah, Allah Allah he was asked me he was sending to Sleeman kathira Allahumma salli wa sallim wa barik ala Sayidina Mojave Vina whenever you know Mohammed infidel when he was only recently Majid Webb Eric, Allah CD Nana, Vina Mohammed will fit in a lot more Sunday or Sunday more verticality, you know, Mohammed impedimenta, Illa, Allah or hamura. I mean, it's a great pleasure and honor and hamdulillah to join with my wonderful sisters and brothers who have gathered together

00:00:34--> 00:01:22

for this Islamic I guess response to an important issue. One, of course, that doesn't just dwell within our communities. It's a human condition, sadly. And domestic violence is one of those things that a loss of Hannah who went to Allah has commanded us in many direct and indirect ways to condemn it. as Muslims. Of course, one of the greatest commands that Allah subhanho wa Taala establishes for us is that he says that he has settled down for us, the Horrell an and then means then, the balance and balance was always another code word are synonymous and a similitude of the word justice that we find balance within each other, through the light that is sent to us, by God, the ethics and the

00:01:22--> 00:02:01

morality in the teachings of our Navy, Mohammed sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, which were sent to perfect our humanity. And I think a lot of people at times when we speak about becoming a better Muslim, it's really becoming a better human being becoming a better person. So being a better Muslim, in fact, what it totality in totality, what it means is that you become a better husband, a better father, a more attentive worker, employer or employee, you become a person who's more diligent, more honest, more forthcoming, a person who's willing to stand up for the truth, even in some cases, may Allah protect us from this, where we are the ones at fault that we are able to hold

00:02:01--> 00:02:02

ourselves accountable.

00:02:03--> 00:02:47

And I am really happy to see Mashallah such a diverse group of people who are sitting on the panel today. Whether it's general practitioners and medical practitioners and people, Mashallah I'm familiar with Dr. Nada, and her work in criminology and the Islamic community and so many other wonderful, wonderful contributions. I do wish to congratulate, of course, the Board of Imams, Chef Nawaz Sharif, I used to have in the home a lot, and all of the rest of the Imam Shahada and all the rest for bringing this together. So my talk in sha Allah, for the next five minutes or so, so that everybody has an opportunity, and we can get some q&a is to speak about how Muslims can fight

00:02:47--> 00:03:30

domestic violence within their homes. And you might be surprised by this, you might say, why would you assume that there's domestic violence in our homes, it's not the assumption. It's that statistically The reality is many of us at times we go in and out of phases in our life and a time some of the ways that we deal with each other some of the ways we try to raise our children, some of the ways we interact with our spouses and our parents are things that are conducive, and can lead to becoming problematic in the realm of domestic violence as is legally defined. So I want to speak very openly as the prophets of Allah and he was seldom spoken any of you who have really attended

00:03:30--> 00:04:14

any of my talks or seminars whenever I visited Melbourne, one of the things that I always try to make a very clear point of is how quick the profits on the lahardee we're setting them was to rise up against that, and I'll begin with this hadith of Omen salamati Allah and how la mesilla she came to the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, it's almost as if she roused him from his sleep. And she said Yasuda, la meva yokomen, what has happened to your what has happened to these companions, to these people who strike at their wives or who have struck their wife the way a man may beat an animal? And the prophets I seldom said, our back, is this happening? Is this true? Somebody has done

00:04:14--> 00:04:51

this? And she said, Yes, so messenger of Allah, I saw that there were green marks, bruises on the side in the back of one of the women, and one of the women had come to complain to the house of the prophets of Allah when he was sending the prophets I send them immediately, you know, he took offense to this and he summoned to be on the Allahu anhu, who was the caller to prayer, but he asks him to make the event at a time that is not the time of prayer. And he says, Evan, Vanessa, be loud, which means it's one of two things, a severe command from God has come down or it's time to get ready for war. There's an enemy about to strike. Everybody needs to leave whatever they're doing and

00:04:51--> 00:04:59

come answer the call. And VLAN means that then everybody leaves what they're doing. They come to the masjid and the prophets I send them says what's famously called

00:05:00--> 00:05:43

By saying, Bella, Bella honey, through my family it is reached me that there are men who have struck their wife, there's an individual is struck his wife in a way that may even a beast is not beaten. Well, assuming Fiorina and these types of people cannot be of the best of us. They cannot be of the quality Muslim that I am seeking to educate. You're not one of me. You're not from my community. If this is the type of display you put on, and then the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam forcefully spoke about this kind of violence, sometimes as well. We also have this misunderstanding of and it's sometimes it's Miss translations, misunderstanding the words of the prophets, I send them. So you

00:05:43--> 00:06:24

will hear and I've had this question come up from a sister. She said the prophets I send them said, don't strike the face. Does that mean shift that the Prophet was simply implying you can strike any other part of the face? And they said, No, if you look at the hadebe, the context is very important. He says some A lot of us element in wondering why this is actually sending the day of Hajj. And that's how open and transparent these conversations need to be the prophets, a lot of us send them he says, Do not curse. Do not curse your wife. Meaning Don't raise your voice with a vulgarity or make a swear word or say something that's vulgar, to your wife. Wella. Totally below watch, don't

00:06:24--> 00:06:53

cut back don't have vulgar words, when after they've been waged, and don't you dare it's almost as if he's saying And don't you dare ever strike the face. And it's almost as if the Prophet is saying from this point of using just words to the furthest extent, which is the most criminal extent that a man could become, to strike the face of his beloved of his wife of his spouse of another human being the prophets on the la vida usnm He says, Don't you ever swear at your wife And don't you dare

00:06:54--> 00:07:43

strike her face? And therefore it's almost as if everything in between of course is seen as being something that is reprehensible and criminal in our outlook. How do we make our homes ready to accept the prophetic model of an adjusted balanced enlightened happy mode of life? First thing make your home of violence as zero violence though as zone as zero violent zone? What do I mean by that? I mean that you interject between your children you don't allow unruly behavior to run amok you don't raise your voices at each other? You don't use comments such as you know toughen up to your son's Why are you acting like a girl? You know, these kind of statements are things that lead a

00:07:43--> 00:08:19

person to seeing the world in a way that was not meant by the prophets I send them you will never you could never if I was to ask you now could you ever imagine the prophets I seldom saying to NSF nomadic on your loan, I knew he was a young child of eight 910 11 years old, who at the time of the life of the prophets I send him You will never imagine that you know, ns would have a problem then province a Why are you acting like a girl Be a man that would never be spoken by the Navy? Salalah I said it. You would never imagine you could you can't comprehend. And men would come to the province a My wife has given me a tough time Yasuda law, what advice you give, you will never in the sun

00:08:19--> 00:09:04

never imagined that the Prophet would say go home, give her one and two and smack her around and joke. She'll come right. Because this isn't Mohammed. So I said this isn't the faith of Rasulullah Sai Salim. So you need to lay down the law, you need to understand this and of the VSI. Selim and that our homes are zero violence in their, in our tolerance of it between our children, between our conversations between us as men and women and women as men. And you must also understand that there are levels of domestic violence. Sadly, much of it is underreported from female to men as well as well. Number two, at try to remove violent media from your home. And I can tell you that, you know,

00:09:04--> 00:09:46

I'm sure our doctors they can comment further on this American Psychiatric Association in their notes and in their discussions that they will tell you over the last three decades that the greater mass media exposure of betrayals of portrayals of violence, increase of aggression and behavior in children is that you know, is directly related to their consumption of it. And you could see that the more a child consumes that kind of thing at a younger age, in the movies in the games in their fortnight in Call of Duty and whatever, you know, video games that are unregulated at times by parents, it leads to unacceptability in the type of words behaviors that are demonstrated. Number

00:09:46--> 00:10:00

three, at teach how to be how to find a violence free outlet, how to enjoy ourselves without having the agitation and a violent state of mind and state of media. That there is you know, it doesn't

00:10:00--> 00:10:13

have to be a war movie for your children to be able to enjoy it. You know, I, for those of you who have Netflix, I was mesmerized my family and I we loved this program about this little octopus in a South African.

00:10:15--> 00:10:38

You know, scientists who lived a year in the water following this octopus, it was an incredible, incredible journey. You know, planet and all of these different kinds of programs are really, really appropriate and a much better outlet taking your children out to play a game of basketball, being engaged with them and being in in a place where they can exert their energy in nonviolent means is a very, very important step.

00:10:39--> 00:11:22

Another important aspect of keeping our homes at a zero level of tolerance for domestic violence is that our community leaders and our imams speak proactively about it and the loss of Hannah to Allah commands this of us we see it in the example of the property selling a lock and dems in the hall and name calling sarcasm backbiting, and that's not for people who aren't related to you, that's for everybody. So when a loss of Hannah with Allah tells you don't be sarcastic, when the neighbors who will let you know don't don't have these kinds of attitudes with other people he's speaking in particular, about those who are in front of you who on a day to day basis, your greatest tests in

00:11:22--> 00:12:00

life is going to be your your wife and your children. Allah subhanho wa Taala tells us in the form of an in them as logical, logical and logical, you know, different verses, your wives, your children, your wealth, I do is an enemy to you. What does it mean enemy, meaning someone on the Day of Judgment, they will be your adversary, no one is going to have a greater claim against me on the day of judgment that my father and my mother, no one is going to come after them except my wife, she's gonna come and hold me by the neck and say, You were responsible for me and these different things as much as I was responsible for you and these different things. Why did you not fulfill

00:12:00--> 00:12:45

these rights? Give me from your good deeds, right? It's a huge amount and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, of the covenants that require the greatest fulfillment is the covenant we make and the contract we make, to fulfill the belonging and the enjoyment of each other as husband and wife. And the prophets. I seldom said in nicoma have to move into the Kelly Mattila, you took your spouse, under one word as a promise to love the difference between halal and haram is that word cabildo. I accept. Right. Another important thing that I think is lacking within our community is as Muslims is to join anti bullying initiatives in our broader cities, states and our children's

00:12:45--> 00:13:21

schools, whether Islamic schools or other to be very proactive in making sure that our children learn about mutual respect about conflict resolution about dealing with each other. Because if your child can see in your behavior, that you do not deal with conflict properly, when they grow up, they assume that as a byproduct, that this is something that this is how people normally deal with these levels of conflict. I don't want to take too long if you allow me just two more points in sha Allah be very, very

00:13:22--> 00:13:25

involved in in your

00:13:26--> 00:14:08

life, with your children, and in your life with your spouse. And I'm saying that you know, sometimes I get these kind of silly questions a sister will ask Sherif Am I allowed to look through my husband's phone? And I say it's a silly question because the assumption of course is why would you not be allowed? You're allowed to see every part of his body why would you not be allowed unless you know he's working and you know, in a state service where it's like top secret material or something that's a totally different thing. I could see why your husband would not be you know, given complete access to your phone if you have sisters and other people that may be messaging you other things,

00:14:08--> 00:14:52

but I want that mindset that yes, we are very involved in each other's lives. We are very involved in the my new details and that how metal A lot of it was a limb was with his wife Khadija with Ayesha with his wives, peace and blessings be upon him solo it was send him and the more intertwined you become. The more caring you become, the more level headed you become, the more systematic you are in your words of choice and discussion. And the more you learn how to manage conflict, and deal with it and resolve it in an appropriate way, the greater your quality of life and finally in sha Allah,

00:14:53--> 00:14:59

be aware that there is something called hassad jealousy and envy.

00:15:00--> 00:15:37

as Muslims, we believe that there are matters of the heart that maybe the actions of the body haven't even been performed that have profound effect. You know, one beautiful Hadith that is worthy of mentioning the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, Never are their two friends, two people. This is narrated by the mammal Bahati, let's move on to people who are friends with each other. And they loved each other for the sake of Allah, you know, they're just two brothers who loved each other. You know, they were good friends, good mates with each other. They were friends with each other and they had a commitment to each other that was pleasing to Allah. Never will they, the both

00:15:37--> 00:16:19

of them separate from their friendship, except it's because one of them has committed a sin between them and Allah Subhana Allah. And I want you to understand that the way you live your lifestyle we believe in a metaphysics, we believe that the actions of the heart the jealousy I have towards others can bring ruin to my own home. Not just that they're jealous of me that that harms me know that when I'm coveting when I'm anxious when I'm greedy when I'm desirous when I'm calculating that even if it's just in my heart when I move away from a lot It causes a lot to turn hearts away from me the profits on the low end he was seldom taught us the secret recipe to success where he would

00:16:19--> 00:16:58

make drought yeah mckinleyville Hulu VM with a better Hulu template called reality winning over last year the Turner of hearts keep my heart firm upon your faith. I end with this statement of one of the greatest had the team the teacher of the teachers of Hadith, Sophia arena, he would say and he would give counsel oscillating Marina kobina la yes La Ilaha Marina Covina nurse, if you give contentment and fix what is between you and Allah Allah will help you fix what is between you and others. Also less so rock. Yes. Hello Alinea tech. If you are careful with your privacy with a law and the private time you have with Allah Allah will give you happiness in the public image that you

00:16:58--> 00:17:38

display to others Allah will protect your public image along Medina, Minami Allah, Allah mean May Allah always protect us and make us of those who are more worthy in our privacy of His mercy than what we seek to show each other publicly. May Allah subhanho wa Taala make our greatest deeds those that are sincere and known only to him, along them. I mean, it's an honor Well, I hate to share this platform with all my dear sisters with my dear brothers, Chef Nawaz Jakob Lafayette, we'll have you back a lot as well. Done. Thank you, sister, not just if I can, if I if you may. I am not Imam of Masjid al Furqan. They are my brothers. And may Allah subhanho wa Taala continue to give them

00:17:38--> 00:17:55

success. I'm Imam and assistant principal at the Langford Islamic college. And I'm one of the local imams here in Perth in Western Australia. I mean Allah subhanaw taala support all of us and then the evening that he to Allah, which is like mama enough that we said Mr. economical like he won't get

00:18:01--> 00:18:03

first of all, you have to

00:18:05--> 00:18:06

take a look.

00:18:07--> 00:18:32

For those very important and insightful points that you raised with us today. I'm sure we can all implement these strategies and points in our everyday lives. The next speaker that I'd like to introduce is Dr. Sharmila Panwa. Dr. Sharmila is a general practitioner based in the northern suburbs of Melbourne. She works in private practice and through Northwestern Melbourne primary