Channel: Yahya Ibrahim
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But was slow towards Salah more Allah Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa ala early he was like to be here we're so limited Sleeman kathira Allahumma salli wa sallam, mozzie diabetic. And I'm the Karasu, they can reveal omiya Allah. He was talking he was selling. We always begin with the praise of Allah we send our prayers upon our interview Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam. I asked Allah Subhana Allah who has gathered us from our different places me here in my home in Perth, Western Australia, you wherever you are Mashallah that Allah subhanho wa Taala gathers us all together in genital Fidelis Allah Ameen with our NaVi Mohammed, Salah sallallahu it was selling for those of you
who are watching, just send him a little bit of an update as where you're watching from. I've opened this up not just for my students at Yahoo bing.com forward slash school or the puberty program, I'm Muslim, and a Muslim as a guide to puberty Mashallah we pray that Allah Subhana Allah makes it a value and I can see Mashallah tracking, many of you have been going through all of the videos Alhamdulillah well over 1000 students over the last few, a few cycles have taken this program. And I pray the Muslim candidates, Allah puts benefit in it, for all of you a lot of them that I mean, also, I'm going to be sending out a questionnaire and I guess a survey for some of our parents and
some of the students just to get back a little bit of feedback. And in sha Allah, this coming Wednesday, we're going to have a first Kahoot session. So I'm going to send you a Kahoot link where you can have an interactive question answer session,
with myself and with other fellow students. Of course, it's something where you're able to choose your names, nobody is able to kind of message back and forth with you, I do want to make sure that you you know you remain protected and your identity is,
is concealed in that sense. Now, for those of you who are watching on my website, and Hamdulillah, what I would love for you to do in sha Allah in the q&a tab that's right under the box where you can see me next to the grill, the Imam, session times and things like that, click on that. And that's where you can send in your questions. If we don't get to your questions today, I will come at you with it in sha Allah in the future. And that's what we'll do with one of the first questions that we'll have while you get your questions in in sha Allah. Now for those of you who are also watching online, I have open this up on the YouTube page and also on my Facebook, you're welcome and Chatelet
to engage send in some of your questions, inshallah, we'll try to deal with them. If we have time now we always I always try to keep this to about 30 minutes, I want all of us that when we're together, it's not something that's extended, I know, there's a lot of videos that you guys are watching, and there's Q and A's and things like that that are happening and you're doing the online kind of progress questions. So I want it to be something in love, it's light and easy. And the next session is going to be later on also on Saturday. So at the moment, This is the Friday night session for those people in New York in London. It's the early morning session for the people in Sydney 8am.
And for here in Perth and KL it's a little bit early for you guys. But you'll catch up when you wake up, or the evening session in sha Allah 10pm here 10am in London, and 3pm 8am sorry, 3pm in London and 10am in New York. So let's, wherever you're watching from, let us know where you're watching from and where you're viewing, send that in through the q&a tab, that's fine. Or you can send it in on my live streams in sha Allah. So the first question, and this is one of the ones that has already come in that I wanted to make sure that we kind of
get to it and answer it.
Let me just navigate to it in sha Allah.
And I thought that this is a is an important question.
For us to, you know, to speak about in general. So the question, it's a long question, so I'm just gonna, you know, paraphrase parts of it so that, you know, we kind of focus on the section that's important. Basically, the question is asking, you know, if somebody has done something wrong, and they are not happy with what they did, and they want to change it, they want to make it better now they want to improve on it. And it did affect, you know, other people in their, in their, in their family, it affected other people in their household, you know, it's something that they regret and they and they just want to get through it and over it. They just,
you know, I'm just reading it here. They want to make a good apology, a proper apology, and they want it to be something that you know, that they can fix, what are some of the things that they can do? So I'm going to talk about nine rules.
For a good apology so this isn't about repentance between you and Allah This is about human interaction and especially as young people Subhanallah part of your job as a young person is to make mistakes learn from those mistakes fix those mistakes and hyper correct them you know correct them to such a degree that insha Allah insha Allah you don't repeat them or you don't repeat them as often and that you learn from them you know people always say to you what you need to learn from your mistakes with this is what they mean by all right. So how to give a true apology and inshallah maybe we might do a you know, a whole lecture on this one day
how to apologize correctly. So the first thing
that I want you to keep in mind, your apology shouldn't have the word but say you didn't you shouldn't say I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have done that. You know, I know it was wrong. But the moment you you're qualified you have this qualifying factor the moment you say but you know, it wasn't really my fault but I wasn't the one who started but you know if I didn't hear this, but if they didn't tell me I might not have the word but in in in an apology is wrong. And the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam he teaches us that if we're going to apologize if we're going to apologize and if we're going to make amends then it should be wholeheartedly for the right reason
seeking the pleasure of Allah so the word but is not in an apology that could be in the explanation that could be in leading up to the apology you know, these were the circumstances that I was in I recognize I am wrong
and then you begin with the apology I you know I am sorry it's an unconditional apology number to
make your apology about your action about what you said what you did and not about who you are right so don't try to you know, it's not you know, I'm a good person
but I made a mistake so now you've made two problems right? I'm a good person you know, it's about I'm a really nice person but you know, I made a mistake, that's not that's not an apology, that's you trying to deflect and it shows that there's a level of insincerity number three
don't overdo it with an attempt at you know, showing pain and remorse and go over the top and sadly Subhanallah with apologies, sometimes people they try to dress it up a little bit and it becomes insincere. Now if it's sincere that's one thing I'm not saying, you know, hold back your tears or you know, express yourself, but don't be over the top. Don't be insincere. Don't be
someone who seeks to overdo and over magnify
their public remorse or their remorse to whoever they have offended. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was one who taught us to always govern our emotions, always to be imbalanced, and never to be hypocritical, never to show a different face than what we actually have. Because in the end, what that does is that between you and other people, the hearts won't connect because the heart wasn't sincere. Number four,
don't dwell on how it started or who started it. So when when, you know when when you're wrong, and you're apologizing, you're wrong and you're apologizing. It's not about who started, who ended what was the you know, the apology should stand on its own beyond the circumstances. And it's always a really important that in the in the shortness of the apology in the sincerity of the apology, that it doesn't have qualifiers about who and the what and the when, in that way where you are trying to share some of the blame or have others share some of the circumstances. Number five, that you correct it with action, not just words. So Subhanallah apologies are hollow if they're just words,
where's the action behind it? Where is the repayment of what was taken? Where is the replacement of what was broken? Where is
speaking positively about one you spoke, misspoke about negatively? Where is correcting what you did or what you said with whom you did it and who you said beyond just simply saying I'm sorry, right? And that becomes very important, especially when it's with people who you live with, with people who were your friends with people who are living
Important to you that you want to maintain a sense of balance and livelihood with them into the future. Number six,
do your best
to avoid the circumstances that led to the problem. So just say, you know, Subhanallah, you did something wrong. And the circumstances that leads up to it are a part of what led you to wrong. So just say you went out with friends and you went to the wrong place, or you watch the wrong thing, or you were invited to a friend's home, and they put on a movie that you know, your family and you are, it's not the type of thing that you should watch, then it becomes a part of your apology, to then limit that type of interaction than say, Listen, if you want to watch a movie, we can come to my house, if you want to, you know, interact, then it's not i'm not going to be on the same landscape
and in the same area, doing the same thing with those who have brought me to disrepute. And once again, this is from the student of the prophets, I seldom, there was a man who had committed so many, you know, wrong deeds. And the Prophet said, it's, you know, the prophet shows in the Hadith, that the wise man the one of knowledge, said to him, it's because you live in this land, you have this history here, these people are everybody, you need to make a deal, you need to move away from these friends, you need to start in a new place with a new beginning. And that becomes an important idea that you avoid the circumstances that lead you to repeat that mistake. Number seven.
Don't try to avoid the difficult talk. Don't try to avoid somebody telling you what they felt and what they how they were affected by what you said or did. Don't try to escape from that remorse and regret and guilt by you avoiding letting people have a chance to let you know the impact of what you have done. And how it made them feel or, or how it impacted them. Because the mistake it's not about you, the apology is not about you. The apology is about how other people
you receive it from you and how you try to absolve yourself and fix it with them in Chatelet.
In your apology, it should be with the aim of healing the person or persons you've offended, not in having them relive their pain. So it's not about making them, go back through it and see what happened again and hear every detail again. It's not about you know, reliving the experience, rather, it is about being a person who is able to heal others and make them feel better after your apology than how they felt before you begin. And that becomes really important, especially with your parents who have a lot because your parents they invest so much love in you so much hope for you so much protection for you and care for you that when you do something that's serious, they take it in
a personal manner is how did we fail? What did we do wrong, and likely, sometimes they will carry that guilt forward, you know, what more could I have done. And therefore when you are coming to apologize, and you're coming to fix this problem with them, and share with the you know what has happened and how it's it's about improving the situation by reassuring them that this is something now that you've learned from that this is something you will avoid. And these are the things you know, as we've been speaking that you will improve on as you move forward.
lot of people who apologize sometimes they forget that saying I'm sorry is not enough. It's not enough. It's not about the words and it's not about you know, just letting people know what you feel. The apology is not enough saying I'm sorry, is not enough. So it will take time to heal and to rebuild trust. So don't assume that just because I apologized and it was sincere and I did all the previous things you said CEF that immediately people have to change their perspective about you. And they have to accept you and give you the trust that was there before it because I'm sorry is not enough. It's not going to be sufficient for you to develop a new mandate new new be a new page
instantaneously. It's going to require you to reignite that trust to restart that love to have an attempt at healing.
What has been there now
If I can just add a 10th one, you know, those were the nine that I kind of wrote down on my phone as I was preparing. But number 10, I think is to say, and I want it to be something where you understand that a law in that moment of you apologizing Are you trying to make amends, looks into your heart and sincerity that is in your heart becomes the one thing that will save you in this life in the next. And if you are insincere in your heart, it's known to Allah, even if you can fool other people, one of the powerful Hadith of the prophets I send him, he said, I'm just a human being. And perhaps two of you will come and ask me to judge in an affair between you you know, two people that
have a problem so they come to the Prophet of Allah. So I said, and one of you, the Prophet says, may be more eloquent, able to, you know, fancily speak to me in a way that convinces man I'm just a human being I'm not, I'm not divine, I don't know, I wasn't there. I don't have knowledge of the unseen. So I mean, give the right to you, when it shouldn't be to you and you know, you're not deserving of it. And if you take that from me, without letting me know that you have taken a share of Hellfire, what I'm trying to say to you is if you get away with it, and if you fake it, and if you fake the sincerity if you fake the apology, if you got away with it, and you're you know
everything is like going back to normal and you know that you
that you didn't you didn't you didn't fix it, you didn't. It wasn't true. It wasn't sincere, it wasn't slipped in your heart. The No, you're only leading yourself further down the wrong road. You're only digging yourself deeper. And Allah subhana wa tada is the one we are all accountable to. So your greatest fear should be your fear of Allah. And it does not need to be the fear of those you've wronged as much as it needs to be that you are watching a lot in your life. Bring into action, goodness, on account of the goodness of your heart, and be careful of there being hardship that visits and a correction of a love that visits when you are insincere and think that you have
gotten away with it. That's the idea in the last panel to Allah saying, way I'm Karuna William Kuru Allah, Allah, how you doing marketing, they may be plotting and planning and trying to get away with this and that, but all of it is in the strategy of Allah, all of it is known to Allah and it's a law of bringing them into their very finality. And may Allah protect us from this Allah from I mean, I thought that this was a really good question because it is something that all of us is young and old, parents and children, all of us in one way or another. We're employer or employee, whatever circumstance you're in husband and wife, fathers and mothers, you know, sons and daughters, all of
us we will make a mistake towards each other. That's the nature of life. prophets I seldom said couldn't look me Adam hapa hi Rosa, in at our booth. The best of the children of Adam are those who make mistakes and the end and fix them and the best of those who make those mistakes or those who repent to Allah come back to Allah and ask Allah for forgiveness. And part of that is to allow people the opportunity to receive your apology and to believe that you will make a better chance into the a better attempt into the future at fixing it and I pray that Allah subhanaw taala makes you and I are successful in that regard a lot. I mean, let me check for some more
questions and comments in sha Allah, Masha Allah we see that there's people watching from different parts of the world from as far away as Saudi Arabia in Hobart and hear in their mouth shut a lot of our cover ramen
our other streams Mashallah
love my Sunday on nav you know Mohamed
me a lot except from all of us are loving that I mean,
do a sister Zahara is asking and this is from the YouTube stream. Do Muslim women have to go to the masjid for prayer, especially the Friday so it was okay to pray at home? No, in fact they do not have to go to the masjid for each and every prayer and they do not have to go for the Juma prayer. Part of the classification of the Juma prayer is that it is an obligation on every able bodied, healthy
adult, a Muslim, to attend the Sala, who is not a traveler, but it is not a necessity for our sisters, our daughters, our mothers, it is not an obligation upon them. As with regards to the other five daily prayers, it is not an obligation upon them. And the correct opinion is that it is not an obligation upon the men as well. Although it is highly, highly desirable for men. There are some men who have said that if you are a neighbor of the masjid, that it does have a higher order that for us to fulfill it, especially the two prayers of Vegeta and insha. Allah accept it from all of us, Allahumma and amine. But it is not an obligation were women able to attend them as Jude at the time
of the prophets, I send them after his time for generations. And until now, the answer is yes, there was always a place for our wives and daughters and sisters to pray in the masjid. The prophets I seldom said let them now email Allah Do not ever prohibit the women of the women who are there to worship Allah from coming into the masjid in the worship, it's not something that is at the testable for them in the lease. And although the prophets I'd sell them has said that the best of lines for the women in Japan is in the rear lines, where they are in a place of serenity and quiet amongst the other women folk. The best of lines for the men is the very front so that they also give women their
space in their in their ability to to gather without any disturbance. And the prophets I send them also recommends for our Muslim women, to pray in their homes and to have a place of their own measured in their home. And the prophets I sell them says in general to us as a community,
led by Lou cavora don't turn your households into graveyard and they said how is that a messenger of Allah? He said by not offering your prayers in it. So the standard practice of the prophesize alaminos habit is that all voluntary prayers all sudden the prayers for men should be done in the home and they should go to the masjid for as many of the obligatory prayers as they can. May Allah subhana wa tada accepted from all of us Allahumma Ameen. Well suddenly now Huma wasallam was it to abetik Allah say you dinner whenever you know Muhammad salla Allahu Allahu early he was happy he was a limb. I look forward to engaging with you a little bit later on today. For those of you who are
enrolled in Yahoo ebrahim.com forward slash school.
In sha Allah I will send there will be an email that will be sent on my behalf in sha Allah giving you the Kahoot link for us to have that online competition and q&a for the Muslim and Muslim as guide to puberty. Allah I mean Allah accept was said everyone equal one McCullough, he or volcat