Channel: Yahya Ibrahim
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Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Thank you for joining me I have Rahim here on peace TV as we discuss how to build a happy home one of the greatest things that Allah subhanho wa Taala blesses us with his children, a progeny, someone to carry our name and our belief in Allah subhanho wa Taala into the future generations, someone who will be in the worship of Allah and following the tradition in the Sunnah of the prophet muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, someone who will take care of us in sha Allah be vanilla. In our older age when we are in need someone who will love us as much as we have loved them, growing them up and nurturing them, teaching them and being faithful to them. And
our children really our our life, they become a main and most important source of our existence. And you find that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam demonstrated the greatest capacity of love for young children. Those who are within his family are the children of the oma sallallahu alayhi wa early he was suddenly he has the famous Hadith that we have all memorized lace, I mean lamb and lamb you walk hubiera who, when your hand sahira truly a person cannot have near pneus of faith to be one of us if he does not honor his elder, and equally, most importantly, as well show mercy and clemency and kindness to those who were younger and smaller in age. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam
has taught us to nurture the love of Islam in our young children, to introduce to them the principles of Islam, the worship of Allah, the love for the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam, the love for his companions and the mothers of the believers, the love for their fellow man and for humanity, the willingness to be an instrument of righteous conduct and righteous deeds, so that people will want to follow their example and to grow up in the path of Allah. And one of the greatest things that a person can attain is to have children who later on after our death, make dua to Allah Subhana Allah to Allah on our behalf. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam says, an
authentic hadith narrated by my Muslim colleague, namely Adam, all of the deeds of a human being are cut off are ended at the moment of their death lfls except for three types of things. And one of them when Adam saw Leonia the ruler, a righteous child, a child that they nurtured upon the leaf in a law who therefore becomes righteous in their word and conduct and sincerity to a law that continues to make God for His parents after their death. How can we forget the great dog of Ebrahim alayhis salam from the Philly Well, he rarely they, oh, Allah forgive me and my parents and often mentioned Dr. Ibrahim, the most known Daughter of Ibrahim alayhis, salaam, Rob does really, really
well is a holy man de la VTM. Mina, Mina, Ibrahim alayhis salam would always invoke Allah subhanaw taala for his parents, even though they were unbelievers at a period in time. And once Ibrahim came to know that they have died in a state of shock and disbelief in a lot, he then stopped making that drop for them, and continue to make his daughter for the rest of humanity and for his oma. So let us learn this important lesson. Our love for our children begets and increases their love for us. The main aim that you want with your child, young and old is for them to have a level of love and respect for you. It's not to have just fear of you. One of the saddest tragedies that we may find as
Muslims is that when we seek to teach important principles of Islam to our children, we teach them along with the good, many negative traits. And we can use for example, the trait of trying to teach our children to be consistent and constant in their prayers. So you'll find a father who will be working all day at home, he will come home at a little bit before negative prayer. And as soon as he comes in and hamdulillah he does the right thing and greets his family and everyone and then asks his son and daughter health related loss. Have you finished your answer prayers have you prayed? Now the child may answer yes Alhamdulillah I have prayed and the father has been successful in teaching
his son. The child may also answer and say yes, I prayed even though they haven't. And the reason they lie to their father isn't because they're respectful of their father, but because they were fearful of him, not Allah subhanaw taala which is the danger here the Father has caused this son to learn to fear him for missing an act of worship, that is only to be given for Allah and with the intention of pleasing Allah subhanaw taala how do we overcome these hurdles? How do
We link our children to the love of Allah and the fear of Allah rather than just the fear of us fear of letting us down or for us to be disappointed of them, and tragically and in error, fear of us striking them for that was never in the way of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wasallam how do we do it, we pray together, we build a healthy home. And we will come to that as we proceed in our discussion in sha Allah, so our children truly are our life. Look at some of the great examples of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam examples that we see missing today from even our leaders, even our Imam and people who teaches about Islam. Have you ever seen an Imam on the day of
Juma as he's speaking to 100 people not 1000s just even 100 people as he's standing on the member talking about issues that are related to Islam, that his young child or grandson begins to cry that the Imam descends from the member descends from the pulpit, walks out into the audience picks up his grandson or son gets back up on the pulpit up on the member and continues his talk while soothing his son or grandson never seen that myself. But I have heard of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam doing so in an authentic hadith the prophets I send them notice that has an oral history near the entrance of the masjid and he didn't find that there was someone who had comforted
him. So in the middle of the discussion in the middle of hospital Juma the prophets I send them stopped, got down from the member walked picked up and Hasson consoled him, patted him, kissed him, loved him, carried him and climbed back up on the member and carried and has an oral proceeding until he finished his discussion, and not the prayer with him near him. sallallahu wasallam that immediately shows to you the amount of love and amount of concern and the priority that children should take in our lives. We are at times very, very stern and very strict with our children with theories that really are quite insignificant with things that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam
would not have bothered us or the oma with at times you will find that there's this negative willingness and wanting our children to come with us to the masjid your wife will ask well, why don't you take our mother or why don't you take our show with you to the Oh no, they're gonna make noise. They're gonna run around with the other kids. I don't want no No, no, they might ruin the place What if they go to the bathroom and it ruins the carpet. We make excuses for ourselves that are unfounded in the sin of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wasallam in an authentic hadith narrated by the Imam Al Bukhari, the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam patted the head of a young child in
Kingston, Hudson and Hussein he kiss still hasn't and was holding him and cuddling him and kissing him and amends of the prophets. I send them doing this. And he said to the Prophet, Yasser Allah, Allah, Allah, Allah, I have 10 children, and I have not kissed any of them in the way that I've just seen you kissing your grandchildren. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said, What can I do with a man whom Allah has not put mercy in his heart, a person of that nature who is in loving and caring and kind and Clement with his children, who doesn't have an attachment to them, a spiritual connection to them, a physical connection with them, a loving touch with them can never have that
true Mercy of Allah subhanho wa Taala in his heart, and in his being, and as Muslims we must be very careful and conscious of our need of being leaders and examples to our children. The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was always concerned with nurturing children and increasing them in their love with a loss of Hannah winter either. He would have numerous occasions as is reported and Sohail Buhari that whenever he'd be passing by through the streets of El Medina, even if he was on a Camelback, or on a horseback as he was proceeding if he saw a group of children playing, the prophet SAW Selim would stop, dismount, get off his riding horse or off the camel and go to the children and
shake each of their hands you saw a pharaoh whom he would shake their hands and say, Assalamu alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh madico how are you today? What have you been doing? The Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam had that genuine concern, that genuine love for children and their nourishment and helping them come to the realization that La ilaha illAllah Muhammad Rasulullah our children truly are our life because they carry our name. You cannot call a child with a name other than the name of his father's. Allah subhanho wa Taala tells you in the Quran, or the only Abba he named them and label them as being linked to their father in that paternal sense. Why is that? Why
significant because he your son, she your daughter are a representation of the life you have lived. They are a representation of your life. Either Bella or Marina Minoru he called me an ash Khurana ametek Alessia Anam de la. Oh Allah at the age of 40. Allah tells us in the Quran, an individual turns to alone when they've reached that age of No Return to youth you've grown up, you're 14 years old. And you say to yourself, Oh Allah, I am thankful for everything that you have given me for everything that I've been blessed with what an AMA lasallian Tada. And Oh Allah allow me to live the rest of my life in righteous deeds and in good deeds. So you will come to a point in your life where
you will look back and see that you are no longer that representative who will remain that you will have representatives on your behalf on this earth who will continue to spread the word of righteousness, and you look forward to them being righteous and a lot tells you in sort of the Nyssa polyaxial levina lautaro hoomin kullfi him do return the AF and call for Allah him fairly attack Allah let those who fear if they leave behind children or progeny that they are fearful about their belief in Allah subhanaw taala will they remain upon the truth let them you as an individual as a father as a mother now, begin by fearing Allah azzawajal and having taqwa and awareness of Allah.
And in so doing you ensure the future of your children. I wish to continue our discussion about how important our children are, that our children are our life. Please continue with me again, after the short break.
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Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh Thank you for joining me once again, as we discuss how to build a happy home. And all of us at hamdulillah. We seek to have good children, well educated children, respectful children, but at times we lose sight of what a good child is. Sometimes we think a good child is the one who's gotten the highest marks or received the highest distinctions in their school studies, or a child is the one who is an overachiever. But in fact, good children can be raised with many different levels. A child who may not be the most academic in their insight does not necessarily mean that they are a bad child or that they will not be kind and Clement, and have
the best of nature in dealing with their parents and future spouse and that they will have success in this dunya. And in Africa, it's important for us to have a really good perspective on what type of religion we have given our children, what type of religiousness and what type of nurturing
That we have given them in their devotion towards Allah subhana wa Tada. And one of the things that really has been an inspiration to me is learning about the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam great tragedy of losing his son Ibrahim, in the authentic hadith narrated by Ali Mohammed Bukhari and Muslim and there's various narrations of this hadith that the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam was called to receive his son Ibrahim, who was very, very young and aged two years old or so. And Ibrahim fell ill fell sick, and his breathing became shallow. He was in the state of death, about to return to Allah soprano to Allah and the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam held his son held his
young boy and he said to him in a line elated man, we're in a cold Bella. We're in Allah firaga Ibrahim, Allah Maha una Lama soon. Oh, my dear son, my dear boy, Ibrahim, our eyes are full of tears. Our heart is in anguish. And we, at your loss or Ibrahim are sorrowful and sad beyond comprehension. These words of the Prophet sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, show us how much love he had for his child. Show us how much care that he had. This is the Prophet of Allah subhanaw taala. This is the great prophet of Allah Subhana Allah to Allah, who endured so much in the world, so much in his spread of the message of Islam, so much of war and tribulation and drought and pestilence and
hegira. So much difficulty did encounter and yet you find him in his most tenders of moments with his son at the moments of his son's death, weeping, crying, in anguish in sorrow, and it makes me reflect upon my love for my children, and how much care and concern that I have for them. They are the greatest thing that we have been given by Allah subhanho wa Taala, a great nierman that Allah Subhana Allah has blessed us with, and those who lose a child or have not yet been blessed with a child can also feel that similar pain and desire of wanting to have something that will carry on the faith of Allah subhanho wa Taala I wish to dwell on an important incident in the life of the Prophet
Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam that stresses to us the concern in the care of the Prophet had for young children. There was a young boy who was named about Romania, the father of Romania. Now this young child was only three or four he wasn't the father of anything in particular. But at the time in Arabia, they would give Kenya or titles father of something in anticipation, and in hope that when he grew up, he would be Al Hamdulillah, blessed with children, and may be blessed with a child named mermaid. But this young boy of four or five years old, he used to have no idea of a small little Sparrow a Finch, a little bird that he had in a cage and he used to love his bird so
much. He feed it and clean it and water it and take care of it and nurture it was his greatest, most loved. And as we find out in Sahil Bahati, sadly this bird died. And when the prophets I send them came to hear of the death of this bird of a young child, the prophet called his companions, rhodiola unknown sallallahu alayhi wa sallam and told them Come, let's go visit the home of Romania. I've heard that his bird has died. Now this is what also lies I send them. The governor of the oma the teacher of the oma the receiver of why the greatest man to walk on the earth, He asked the Sahaba to accompany him to visit a young boy to pay his condolences for the death of his bird. In Miami
Mahajan. rahima. Hola. One of the greatest scholars of Hadith uses this hadith. The only statement the prophets Allah makes in this hadith is when he meets a boy omega he says to him, yeah, but my mother, I didn't know I owe young Obama what what did you bird do? What happened? Is it dead? What happened to it? Now in that one statement, and in this one instance of this young child's life, there's more than 150 lessons we learned from this one incident of the life of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa sallam from it, for example, is that you can have a pet, you can trap an animal in a cage, you can feed it, you can clean it what to do with an animal after its death, that you can
console a child for it, that you can give a child the name of a kunia all of the things we learned from this one instance of the life of the Prophet Mohammed Salim in his showing of kindness to this child, how do we raise our children with a sense of love, respect for us and for the society we live in? One of the most important things that we need to do and we begin with it is to teach them sincerity to Allah. We gave you that example earlier of a father that comes and asks his son, why didn't you pray and with harshness, the son may lie to him.
The doctor may lie to them and say, Oh no, no, I prayed, I prayed just so that they don't get harassed or harmed or distressed by their father. Now, the most ideal example of leadership in your home is to pray with your children, and to get your children to pray in Jamaat, if they're not doing it in the masjid. If you live in a distant country, in a western country where the masajid are not always nearby, some prayers, you will at times find it necessary to pray them in the home. Those prayers should not be done individually or in isolation, they need to be done together. And that is the greatest way of nurturing your child's love and respect, and constant state of prayer. It's not
that your son says, oh, let me finish this game. And then I'll pray later. No, so that has a time and we pray together. Even if you have just come back from the JAMA from the mosque, pray with your family, lead your family in prayer. If your wife and your whole family were unable to go together, you are the leader of that home establishes Allah to Allah subhanho wa Taala. Do your soon met in your home, let your family pray together. And that teaches your family the constancy of Salah rather than the punishment they will be inflicted from you if they have missed their solar. So we need to teach sincerity and spirituality through our practice our emulation. What good is it for us to say
to our child suddenly and we haven't prayed? What good is to say pray but they see us deficient in other things. Do you think your son or daughter will have a sense of respect for you, if you pretend to them that you are devout but they can see in your heart you are not. They see in your heart that the money that Allah subhanaw taala provides for you, you spend very little on the home, and then you spend an excess on yourself for cigarettes or fun or entertainment? Do you think that they will find it pleasing to Allah subhanho wa Taala that you command them to select but you're volger in your language to your wife? Do you think your daughter will respect you my dear Muslim sister if you
tell her put on the hijab, put on the hijab, but you are loose in your in your attitudes and you are loose in your tongue in how to speak with your other sisters and backbite other women and talk negatively about others, do you think there will be that sense of respect and that sense of love when there is contradictions. children want to do what we do more than to do what we tell them to do. Your child will follow your example, more than they will follow your instructions. And know that once the first five or six or seven years of their life are over, and they begin to enter into that early adolescent stage, you no longer becomes the focus of their life, the focus of their life
become their friends, and if you have not equipped them and showing them love and tenderness in what is expected of them by you, and by most importantly Allah Subhana Allah to Allah, they may follow the wrong friends and be led astray your children or your life, love them, nurture them, teach them through your action through your example through your conduct more than through your words. Also an important technique and something that we really need to stress upon is our constant drama for our children. The profits on the law while you are setting themselves up in the authentic hadith, Latin Oh Allah, Allah deikun. Don't make dua against your children for to Cebu nessa artisti Jabba,
perhaps you might make on your children, and Allah enters your daughter and you find distress after you say to your son, why do you always do this May Allah subhanaw taala take you may Allah subhanho wa Taala fix you up and you make that out of anger, not wanting any harm to happen to your son, and that harm may befall your son and you find yourself sorrowful for it. also protect your children from envy. Make dua for them, not against them. Protect your children from envy. Your younger children, especially your older children, as well make dua to Allah subhanho wa Taala read Quran on them. Read Surah Fatiha seven times, blow on your hands and wipe your hands on them before they
sleep. Make the door of protection of Allah subhanho wa Taala read or to kursi in your home. Read the pseudo tillbaka Surah Al e Imran in your home and ask a lot to protect you. Make sure that you don't expose your children all at once to an individual. Allah Subhana Allah has shown us in the Quran from the example of Yusuf Ali Salaam that his father said to his children let it follow Allah him in bed Why don't all enter from one door people might see you and say wow, look at all these. Look at that big family. Look how nice and clean they are. rather have a sense of modesty and respect. have a sense of patience and perseverance. Be careful with your children. Be careful that
people look at them and speak of them whether in good or bad, be happy that they are pleasing Allah subhanho wa Taala but be kind in your relationship with them.
And with your dealings of others and be careful with your children for they are your life. I leave you with a final Hadith of the Prophet Muhammad sallallahu alayhi wa early he was suddenly where he would say to us as a believing oma as people of faith, to Castle
the castle, increase our numbers, procreate and raise up righteous children, for it will be an honor for me salallahu alayhi wa sallam on the Day of Judgment. We pray that our children will honor us and honor Mohammed Salah I sell them on the Day of Judgment. Thank you for joining me again for another episode of How to build a happy home. And we've been talking about our children truly are our life Assalamualaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.
world who would watch her child cry in the street, stand and watch her we there's not a mother in this world.
Not a mother in this world
to have a home for her family.