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Quranic Transformations – Episode 05

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Wisam Sharieff

Channel: Wisam Sharieff

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Episode Notes

Quranic Transformations: a monthly, interactive, hands-on series where goal-setting and Quranic supplication come together to create a transformation that is unique to you.

Episode Transcript

© No part of this transcript may be copied or referenced or transmitted in any way whatsoever. Transcripts are auto-generated and thus will be be inaccurate. We are working on a system to allow volunteers to edit transcripts in a controlled system.


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You got it under law to be learned even as a foreigner what gene also we learn human a shape on your regime?

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shape on your regime? Excellent everyone at home for tuning family Can you all hear me appropriately?

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Okay, um de la Salatu was Salam ala rasulillah, Toronto, California, Saudi Arabia and to everyone out there Salaam Alaikum warahmatullah let's go ahead and take a posture of dignity so that we can put ourselves in a place to receive and to accept the gifts of Allah subhana wa Taala to our youtubers there might be a one or two second delay that's totally fine

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get the screen too bright up I really wish I could get my green

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but we will get it now. One more time.

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There we go. I see the brightness

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let's try it one more time.

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Control screen right

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Okay, hello, everyone catching let's get started with a posture of dignity.

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Rules we'll be learning in a shape our new regime and Hum Dil De La wa Salatu was Salam O Allah Rasool Allah He sallallahu alayhi wa sallam, to everyone joining us live and those joining on Facebook and on YouTube. Please accept this. Because we make it once a month and those of you who've been to Grand transformation know what this is about. A Salam alaykum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh

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which is a sense of Salaam upon you. If you accept a law as a job as the abundant source of Salam in the universe, then it is he a Lost Planet Allah who pours Salaam upon you. Once your whole life is with a waterfall of Salaam, we hope that you'll start writing down your blog. So I'm going to give you for about six, seven minutes and introduction to what chronic transformation is. And then hopefully you can make that connection. Those of you guys online can talk about those chronic transformations that you've done so far. So I'm going to engage with you all so you can catch up. We're seven months into this discussion. So from the crowd, you all know in the Quran, there are the

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words. Can you name a doula from the Quran? Any doula?

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robina Athena, another one.

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Robbie Gianni, another one.

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Rob is Indian man. How about parents? Roberta humble maka Mara bands data? How about I never I want to be guided robot da da, da, I want to children, blah, blah, blah. I mean, as of right, it's, it's almost like a last minute Dada wrote 40 robinus. And he said, I want to give this stuff to you just say these words. But how many of us here they've all answered this question. How many of us have said the ribbon up in passing Robonaut enough for dunya. And then you you leave, you don't necessarily say now I'm going to get all this stuff. So we spent 20 months studying all the webinars in the forum, we do the word to word translation, the time and place and revelation of the fear a

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time and place in the letter of Revelation and tafsir. But that doesn't make your dog get answered quicker. Knowing the grammar of an ayah the fear of an ayah does it make your answer quicker? Not a trick question. No, it does. Knowing like a lot of cool things doesn't make the doula come to life. And I have to just bridge one more gap and those of you at home can accept as well. Most Muslims immigrate Muslims. And that's all of us have one simple concept a lot. Don't take me to help my beloved friends, when are you going to find out the answer to that do up

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above now, if I come to you and says your do I accept it? I don't know. Because you will never know right? You're gonna it's like rolling the dice at a craps table. Or maybe I'll go agenda. That's a very Now think about it. If your kid came to you and you said beta clean your room. I don't know that the house might burn down. Who knows? might burn down. Why would I make my bed?

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We played that mentality with Oh Allah right. You should write that one down. But next time that says make your bed just write it down and say what if the house burns down? If we keep saying, I don't know if my daughter is accepted? Like if I came to you and said, Brother, your wife is powerful. You can change someone's life. Yeah, I'm sure you can. But I don't even know if I'm going to have it. So on the premise of hamdulillah of our duel

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is accepted. That's the premise you have to start with. And we built that. So just to give you a shortcut Can anyone tell me at home or on YouTube? Can you all tell me what's the right now all of us? If I didn't pray fudger I'm not the best Muslim in the world. What's a guaranteed dua I could make right now in a level except it's not a trick question. It's a doula. What Vicar Can you make right now do our Vicar that guaranteed the guy drinks alcohol or not? His devices being accepted? A lot of them on

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Sunday I

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think about that. Allah subhanaw taala is going to make a lot on the Prophet tell us until the end of time, right? And you will your hardest thing so long.

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But if you don't say sallallahu alayhi wa sallam will the Salawat and our NaVi get less? No. So what's the trick door of Salawat? You might say I'm a sinner. I'm bad. Okay, you are but every Salawat you make gets accepted. So now sinner, bad man who doesn't pray Father, raise your hands and say, I really need your help. How do I know? Well, I was going to accept my doula a lot on Sunday. And then you start doing that for like a month or two you start feeling Hey, Allah is answering Allah hears me.

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What we then did was we took the Dumars from the Quran and we began to write ourselves into the dua. That is not the point of today's lecture, but I'm going to hopefully you can write these three questions down. You pointed out Rabbana Athena, so everyone at home we're gonna do a quick reading right now. Let's try to we'll do a quick draw right now. Rebecca atina, fit dunia Mussina, okay. Any robina in the Koran can be broken into three simple questions in that moment that you are seeing or writing or making the law, who is Allah? And I know that that's a tough question for you to answer but who is allowed to you in that moment who is allowed to you? So I'd ask everyone for a moment can

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you think of a painful time in your life? And say, oh, Allah, the Lord who got me out of that situation? That's an easy place to start. Anyone health issue? been in the hospital been ill? I'll always give you help anyone in financial debt at some point? And then you were like, oh, Allah, I was in debt. Take me out. So I would ask our our group also live? Can you describe a loss? It's a very intimate, uncomfortable question. Can you describe a loss

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to yourself, who is allowed to you, you can go to Sunday school route and say a Rahmani Raheem if you want to. But if you can allow it is and then write that down. No law, your honor him, but who is allowed to you? And no one has ever had their car sliding on the ice or something. And then it's like both. There's what I know a lot personally right now, a lot Get out of here. It's very intense. Can you pin a situation that only you and Allah know about?

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I hope so. I will give you a small example. We'll fast forward through this. But I hope that you can try to connect when I was seven year old. You guys know this story, but it's about vulnerabilities. When I was seven years old, we were playing seven or eight. We're playing outside the mustard. The game was who could throw the rock the highest. What a wonderful game to play. I didn't humble I was the smart kid. I didn't take part in the game. But I stood there. First Person through it. It went like in the sky. It was like, wow, second person through it. It went higher than the first person. So the first person came back and was really caught. Oh, and then he came and he threw the rock and

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all I remember saying was

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it can't and before I could say see it it crushed this side of my face. So that's why there's a crater. It literally fell through the side of my face. They did surgery. They opened it. This eyeball was hanging the three muscles that yes, that hold this eye in place. Three of the muscles to were ripped. If I chewed chewing gum for two years post accident. My eyes spun. So I wasn't because the eye was wobbly. Yes. So the point of the story when I was in the hospital for those six months now, it was sleeping in a chair rather I was in a chair for six months use me. Did I know a lot? Oh, yeah. At seven, eight years old. I said to myself, no one you're too little to know a lot like this.

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But I had experienced such great pain. I can feel the pain right now. What was the idea? When I first wrote my first Rabbana I said, Oh Allah, the One who gave me my ibac my mom's a pediatrician. All the doctors in the hospital said he's gonna lose the eye and humble I had 2020 vision in this. I am

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Till the internet came out and stared at the screen, a rock falling through my face did not destroy my eye, staring at the Internet did so take that for your own thing. Now, who is elected me?

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Allah is the one who, who would pat my who would take care of me when I was laying in the chair, when there were no painkillers to give a seven, eight year old child, Allah was the one who took the pain away. So could you all find a place? Can you make a connection? Now? Can you say that you can? Can you describe a loss? In any words, their words, so to me, Allah was my guiding light who never left me alone, because I had an eyepatch for like a year and a half. So it was when it's dark. A lot of my life. That was the way I described it. So step number one, I'm not going to push you right now. Anyone at home? You guys want to Okay, okay my sister in law there you go. She said a law the

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one who helped delivered her to her twins. There she knew as you're giving birth to two babies, you know a last one on Tada. Number two the question to start asking yourself is Who are you to unlock

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so when I was in the chair, I used to say a light me with the broken eye. I was little but the idea was a light it's me with some with the broken eye. As I grew up, then I said it's me with some the Quran student it's me with Samba. Every Phase I would just describe myself in one word Toba. So if you want to write that down, who are you who is a lot to you? Who is Who are you to a Lost Planet, Allah And number three, what is Hassan ami? Rabbana Tina Fey dunya Hasina? What is his enemy sister? Do you know what happened? I mean

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like isn't that kind of a ambiguous word? That's that's a very open Oh Allah give me good. I do this example all the time. How many people like ice cream just feel free? Ice cream. Okay, how many people lactose in time. Okay, so Okay, so brother if they for them? They might be sitting there Oh, Laura Bernardino, Jr, Hassan Ah, ice cream. Right and they should they can make that work for me and you is ice cream Hashanah? No my tummy gets all bloated and uncomfortable. So what I'm trying to explain is one man's good is not another man's good

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if you said make I said brother make dua for me. I would wish you make do I get more time to go to the gym and for us? Very good. Maybe some of you don't like to go to the gym so Hassan has to be like Burger King. Have it your way now let's pause here. Do you find any difficulty asking a lot in detail what you want? I think Muslims do I think they feel that no no no. I am so little I'm so bad. And again it's that I'm so bad I'm going to help mentality that's limiting your Allah I want to six pack a lot I want to do inverted push ups over I want to memorize for and I want to be debt free. I want to make I don't want to see money I want to live so I never have to ask how much if I like it.

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I'll buy it when you pray for $1 amount it you'll reach that dollar amount but not be having pray. I never have to ask how much I mean. But if you don't describe what you want to illustrate what Allah then good things might come into your life.

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With

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you never you don't know. Some use Ola. Give me a Santa you meet someone who says, Hey, come to my house. We're gonna do this new project. I don't know. I don't know. You don't know that that has no because you never asked for it. So you don't know. So could you all share something that you something that's not in the dunya? Please don't be religious. I pray five times a day and I'd be grinding all day. You got to make a real do up. What's happening enough is not philosophy. Can you give me a hustler in the dunya? Guys? Can y'all give me some question on the dunya?

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It's Valentine's guys, what would be great to have on Valentine's Day good communication with your spouse. How many of us have been sold from our basic movies to the American culture that wives are just nagging what they that's how it is. And then you see that a couple that talks and laughs and they're happy. And you're like, Man, it's all drama. It's all you you can't imagine it. Could you say Oh, a lot I want to and I'll try to cut this example in half. A sister came to me and said, If I go to Jenna, will I go with my husband? I said, Yeah, she goes, Well, I have talked to him all the time.

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And I said, No. But do you see where that thought process going? Like I don't know if I really enjoy all the time with him. Why not say I am going to live with my spouse in general. If I can point at you, and you know what I'm going to enjoy all my time.

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Because it's not about being together, but it's about being happy together. So a big part of today's discussion is about being happy with the self. Oh Allah. I'm going to ask you a question brothers. We're not the most vulnerable people. Oh Allah has enough in dunya is me accepting myself in this tunnel?

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With all my missed problems with all my addictions, with all my mistakes, husband that is if we some loves with some complete. Could anyone define it as that?

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Yes or no? Anything? Could you say Oh Allah Hassan I in my life is courage. has an eye in my life is authenticity. Hasina in my life is not worrying about what other people think about me. I'm going to live wholeheartedly. To me that is what will not fear it. has no. And then if you live this dunya wholeheartedly without worries of what people thought about you. Then of course, what do you not have enough? You'll be saved from the hellfire. So do you understand how we answer these three questions? Do you all see that? You can do that to any law you want. Now, we've done it seven times to seven different doors. Who is a lot in this moment? Not tomorrow, not when I pray fudger but

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right now, who am I who is allies of adult and what is it that I want? Usually at this point someone says

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one thing that they want you all share what's one has nothing. Brothers, we've had people in this merge, let's say I wish to to talk to me. I wish my $140,000 mortgage was paid off. One month, brother's mortgage was paid off. So Tonton test me. I'm so sure about what I do. Every you mentioned today, whether it's a brand new Lamborghini, I will be sitting next to you, and you'll be crying and I'll just be laughing at you. Is there I'm sorry to be offensive like this, but you don't seem to be giving me what is Hassanein in this dunya if Allah azza wa jal rips the universe's head off and said you can have anything you want. What would you ask for?

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Take a second. What would you ask for you guys at home? What would you guys ask for? What do you all asking? Allah azza wa jal for

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I guess that's a tough one. But we'll take a moment.

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The youngest has to go first.

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What do you want?

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Okay, pray. I want to know what to ask for. Can you pray for that?

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You're not sure this in my generation means he doesn't talk. If he's not talking. I won't pick on him if he doesn't talk. You talk talk was good. Talk with me, bro. Your second youngest while he melts like a piece of ice. You tell me.

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With your face feet in my face. Tell me about your No, no, it's okay. I like them. Usually. That's how I speak.

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Jenna, okay, but Jenna? I don't know. That's far away. Hey, that's great. I hope you get a piece of Jenna in dunya. Like you get an experience. I hope that your your life your marriage. Your kids are like Gemma, but what's something you want and dislike for real? better basketball shot?

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And I don't know. He's like, no, I got the basketball thing.

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I mean, fair enough. But you did the same thing he did stable life.

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The hell with it. I don't know what the hell he's talking about. Like, I need a human answer. Like, that's the thing that throws me off is try like, I was in a wheelchair for two years to never walk again. Do you believe what I'm saying?

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Yes, I've got scars on my hips. I'll rip my pants off and show you like, I'm telling you. I've had reconstructive surgery on both my hips. When I sat in a wheelchair and Doctor said, You'll never walk again. What did I ask a level?

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I said I want to walk and I want to give equal. And I walked. People said Oh, miracle. I said no, no, no, a lot. So I'm asking for real, dig deep. But we'll keep moving. I got a few things are good Muslim, good Muslim, I'll handle this. It's a beautiful thing. But I still feel like a good husband and things is outside. Pray for you. Pray for you. So let's make the move here. And then we're going to, we're gonna build on our webinar right now. So if everyone would like to take out the door, ah, it is a surah four on surah number 25. I a number 74 if I incorrect, and if you want to pull it up on your phone, it gives you a translation and whatnot too. It's good to see the Rabbana that way you

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can kind of fill it out on your phone, who is Eliza Joe, who? Who am I and so forth. So that's a surah number 25. You can even go

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As soon as 26 and scroll back and the I am number what are the new colonna? 7074 do you all have it at home? Okay good good. You want to be debt free rather prayed for stability and financial stability? I think we should just do that all around every Muslim who wants to be debt free a lot of money if anyone who wants to just start that chain say yeah honey. Oh Allah the Most rich, the one who has endless wealth. Yeah, honey. Yeah, honey starve my debt. I have seen debts go to zero but you have to psychologically initiate the thought. Oh alive do not feed my debt. starve it alone. Mommy. What else do we have? Oh, hedge. Okay, there you go. Hi. Why not? But it's all how many

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people have been for HUD have not been bred.

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I mean, I mean, may you be able to do Hutch either with me? How many people know O'Meara recently? I mean, when I say recently three months four months is too long. So one year two years. May Allah subhanaw taala give you an ombre Ah, let's make that that one. Oh, a lot. And I need you to manifest it though. Friends. You just think it once in your mind Hold that thought for 17 seconds. Oh Allah. I wish to go to GABA and make oma that's it soon. If you can say robina Oh Allah Lord of GABA atina the one who How long has it been since you've gone?

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Oh Allah Lord of GABA. It's me. I haven't been for two years. I want to go to Cabo you make that door. I'll see you at the house of Allah and I know that as a fact now. I hope we get to go together in sha Allah mommy. I would love to be your guide during that time. Let's open up now and if everyone can repeat after me Shazia this year inshallah Kevin one year but isn't enough. If you'd like to repeat after me everyone who's Ruby Lahaina shave or neurology

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Thank you very much. Everyone on Facebook thank you very much for being here. Recite out loud suck from your guts.

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robina

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haben Lana meidan as wodgina was the re yeah Tina double shut that was the re yeah Tina

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rockin your mouth or water.

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Are you knew

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what john na

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v. Del Pina Emma

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thank you so much for taking part for everyone one more time together. Well birna

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me as lagina was Arry Tina burrata Are you or john?

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dopey Emma, a lot my lesson that he learned my daughter who salah and hasn't either ship designer. And let's get into some translation. What does the word Rabbana mean? You all know this? It means our Lord. So if I'm down and sad, and I feel alone, and my wife does in the mood, who are you praying to? Or who are you praying with? I'll try this. When a man lifts up his hands and says all Allah, I'm trying. Who are you raising your hands with?

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Every other man who has that problem? When you wake up on a Monday you have a cold and you're like robot now? Who are you making out with every person who has a cold? Now when how many people in the world do you think want good kids and a good spouse? Everybody? When you touch your hands up like this, you're not just asking, Oh, God, give me a good wife and bumped the rest of the world. You're saying Allah, you wrote this for everyone. I have a wife or maybe you don't have a wife. If you have one. Oh, Allah helped me understand her better, because your wives are not here. How many of us could do better in understanding our wives?

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Sorry, but I don't have enough arms. I could read 50 books that I have, but nothing, nothing's happened. I want I want to be a bit I want to be better. But when I say robina You must tap into, Oh Allah, the Lord of pears. That's what I wrote for this one. My apologies. I did not bring my robe and I wrote it in the room. My law is a law the lord of pairs, the Lord who created you and your whole half you're the other part of that.

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Which is hold

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now have a learner translates to grant us it's a request the only reason I bring this up is you aren't yelling at Allah give me there's a hub Elena is a very respectful a robin I have Lana Minh as wodgina was the reality now as watch is multiple and yes it can be translated as spouse so it's not just I used to think it was just wife anyone else think that all growing up I read it saying it's a man's doula This must be a man's do other some other doula for a lady. But as watch does translate. And it is. It is for spouses and children what jalna and make me we're gonna deal with the kena Mama, make me Make me place me as the mom of what

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can you translate the word macduffie for me, coming from the person who has taqwa what is tough for me. If we could translate you guys can put this in the notes for me. What are the three things that are question number one of everyone has told you that law is fear. Fear, of course, because you're all going to hell that's that's pumped into in the beginning. Fear of a loss punishment. I can't see that I fear of the consequence of not obeying Allah. Allah is not scary. I just want to throw that out there. Number two, what's the second component of taqwa I'm afraid of the punishment. But what's the opposite of the fear? hopeful? I'm hopeful in the last promise, because none of us is going to

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Agenda because of this lecture or because of Isha we're all going to Jenna. Allah promised it. And I really want you to bank on that promise. And what is the third portion of dako?

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Oh, there's fear of jahannam. Duck why and all of Allah's promises in Jannah? One last thing, because fear and hope are there in the alpha. What is the point here?

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It's not a one word, but it's a concept

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called consciousness to be aware. Right? What is huzhou? insula being aware insula? What is huzhou? When you're making, it's all just awareness, the New Age modern world calls it meditation, we can call it crucial, but at the end of the day, what do you want more in life? You want to be more aware more engaged? So to me that is a it's key. three components, or law make me a mom of the God fearing hopeful in God aware family?

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Can someone talk to me about that these kids are gonna fall out of the sky? Are you really these meditative children are going to come up? made us Oh, yeah, man got it. Right. It doesn't happen. So is this douar actually telling me about the person? Because this person, a sister, you help me on this? Do you think a father can go Robin abdominus wodgina. And then not spend time with his family, not cultivate awareness, I pray to Allah? Or does he need to become the mom of the liquidity? So this is not only a dog, but it's also a plan. You want to become a mom of people, you become what you fear, a loss parent, either. You hope in Allah subhanaw taala as mercy and you become aware, my

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only point as a dad, shouldn't you be a little bit more? A little bit more hope? And a little bit more? awareness? Yes, that's the tough part. And as a spouse, this is the toughest part.

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Should my wife be in charge of me being in a good mood? Or should I be in charge of with Sam's good mood, and then when I get to her, I feel like let me chip chipper you up. If she's a little down. And if you are in charge of, I'm in a good mood, it's not his job to be like, Oh, let me fix everything you say, You know what? I had a tough day, but he's coming home. Do you see how the dynamic changes? Can anyone admit to emotionally dumping on their spouse all the time? My spouse is right here. She's on the I do it. You're upset at something, you come home, blah, blah, blah. Somehow everything she does is wrong. And then when she says mugger I didn't realize you blame

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you, man. And we all do it. We all do the blaming game. It's called shame dumping and we dumped the shame. Thank you. Everyone at home is like yes, we do this. And men do this more than women. Women do the something different, which we'll talk about in a moment. men know this as Vili. You want to talk about this? Now? How many brothers have had that situation? You like? Some you're in the middle of something. Life is going good. And then she'll say

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You know? And then you're like, What? Is it not? Is it not the responsibility of the person to maintain his duck Wha? That's the play on words. Your mood is your taqwa, your emotions, or your emotional, lack of control. It's your tableau. So I'm hoping and I believe that my time is going to expire here.

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All along the one who created pairs, Grant me from my children and from my spouse, coolness of the eyes. How will you develop the coolness of the eyes if you're not patient? And here's the last thing that I hoped to make this point and then we'll give the concluding thoughts. You all know what a family portrait portrait is like? family portrait, everyone comes, sister, What's the hardest part of the family portrait? getting everyone to sit still and smile? And I'm going to make a reference to a movie everyone's seen. There's these Kabhi Khushi Kabhi Gham movie poster, who's to see it growing up? I know, this is not mustard talk. But it's a portrait of a perfect family. And a lot of

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Muslim people saw this and said, ha Curatola yawn. It's so perfect. Right, and it's when everyone's posing, things are perfect. Is that Curatola you think about No. When everyone's pretending, no way. The actual thing is when Papa comes home from work, tired, but full of life, and he sees exhausted wife, with baggy clothes on some kid jumping off the couch, someone else screaming two kids pulling each other and stops and goes kurata do you see the mental shift? You're not going to go to LA or LA make my kids think about it. If you came home and your kids were sitting there quietly, US law Monterey Park, you gotta be scared. I realize what's wrong you really for real, all of these ideas

00:32:03--> 00:32:49

that you ideals that you never wrote to Allah, you said, kurata you put a time you just kept saying it, but you never wrote to Allah what you want it. So when I wrote to Allah subhanaw taala. To me, the definition of wife wasn't hot meals, I wanted something else. I wanted companionship, I wanted a family and I wanted my work to continue. I wrote it to Allah. I wanted kids who spoke in full sentences to me, I wrote it to Lola, if I don't want my kids to talk to me and hand gestures, I wrote it. And then you then when you go and talk to your son, I can say one or two times I'll say, look, Bro, I pray to Allah, that you don't talk to me with your hands. And he'll say, really? You

00:32:49--> 00:33:29

you pray to Allah for that. Yeah, that's a big deal. To me. It's a big deal. But your your culture I don't like. And when you can go to your kid with that. They're like, wow, you pray to Allah. And it gives it a whole different meaning. So please, if you could leave today, every time and sisters you have to forgive us brothers. Can you say have you ever no one will know the cameras on me. Have you ever felt like I've had enough? Not enough with the marriage, but enough with the the irritation that you got from your wife? Are you allowed to say that? I have? I felt like what is this? Like, I can't keep I can't, I got irritated one day, which like blah.

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And I stopped and I said, Robin? And when I said robina? I feel like I was sitting with 150 other guys who are kicking a can going by law. What am I supposed to do here? And if you could define marital problems with maybe I'll rephrase because no one raised their hand. Brothers, how many times have you, you would have done better if you didn't say anything?

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If you didn't say you reacted, your wife came to you and said, Do I look fat? What is the response to that? Be quiet? Do not answer that question. There's dynamite inside that question. Or and brothers. This is real life talk here. If you're watching TV and your wife goes, Is she pretty? What's the answer to that? I don't know. I was looking at you. There are certain questions. I know you might think it's a joke, but it's not your place to fall into every answer and say, Oh Allah didn't work out. We'll have to do some intelligence to and say, Oh Allah I'm here with every other man who's having spousal problems. Now, you know, there are 50 wives out there going but what about

00:34:38--> 00:34:41

so if Yeah, they're all saying they're all giving me

00:34:42--> 00:34:59

but what about when your husband and so sisters have you ever been and you don't have to answer but you have you ever any of your friends have said I'm really irritated. I'm really irritated. I can't get through to my husband. Have you ever heard that? Not you never you have

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Of course not what are we talking about? I feel like some sisters might have felt that my husband has a thicker head like I can. I'm seeing something and I can't get it through to him. If the man instead of saying you women, you don't make sense. He turned back to his Lord and said, I don't understand you. I know you though. And instead of saying he doesn't feel me, he's always trying to fix things all along. You love me, or like, you know me. And then as soon as you cool down, you can deal with your spouse because you love them. You do. I think everyone does love. Now, if it's a loveless marriage, then we're going to talk about that, too. If you're in a situation where there's

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no love in the marriage, and you're just kind of like to dead flames in the same room is a way to start that. But for now, I assume we all love and for everyone at home, can you give me a thumbs up if you love your spouse?

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For me, too. And if you can stop on that concept and say, oh, Allah, I'm not going through this alone. And in this time of difficulty, and I can't understand my spouse, hublin arminas wife. And I'm going to conclude this tense moment with a statement of Omar radi Allahu dadan. I loved it. Someone can look it up. You guys want to put it into the chat box, you can override the law with Don Has anyone seen the boomer series? If you have not, it's on YouTube. $70 million production $70 million to produce this 30 part film. It's the life of Omar the Allahu taala on and I just give you the first scene, the first scene of 30 episodes is Omar radi Allahu Allah in the last stage of his

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life, and he's old and he's sitting there and the oma is in 1000s. And he's the halifa. And he kind of pauses and then he has a flashback of the next 29. And then the next 29 episodes, is him becoming Muslim meeting. And they don't show the prophets Allah saw them. It's very kosher to watch.

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But you see many scenes. So there's one scene where Omar radi Allahu taala, on one of the provinces that is not even close, 10 hours away. They're having famine. So he's in the capital, and he's keeping fast at night. And his wife is like, No, you can't do this. You can't because there's famine in Syria. You can't you have to. So there's a there's a coral. And it's such a beautiful scene. Because when you think Sahaba Do you think that they fought with their spouses? I never did. But their fighting was different. She was like, by a law, you have to take care of your body. And he said, I'm doing this for a lot of cities like it's a tense moment. And from this, there's a same, so

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we proved that they had back and forth. They didn't fight this they what's a nice word to say about they had spirited discussion, Nate, I disagree with you. Because they're still have already logged on. O'Meara de la Donna and said when I disagree, or when I am in an argument with my wife, and I'm angry, I think about four things. I think about the person who takes care of my kids, I think about the person who feeds my family, I think about the person who takes care of my affairs, yummy when I leave the house, who takes care of that good, who safeguards might affect my entire wealth, and who takes care of me physically loves me cares for me. And he said, When I think about these four

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things, and with these four things in mind, the little lecture nurture that you get is not that bad. At least when I get really upset. And I'm like, Sam, could you stay home and take care of the kids all day long? I'm like, nope. And then it humbles you all your anger is just a part of the ego. So if we can conclude on these parts

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use if you too can start watching over the Hamid okay friends fugly Robbie, WA Alaykum wa salam, great to have you heard and oh, my buddy joining us. Let's conclude here as it is, as it is the top of the hour.

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We all read this duel as our life give being a spouse, when in actuality it's a plan for yourself to become hold, if I could. And when I say hold.

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I don't know. Is there a word in order to do so I tried to look it up in Farsi and Persian vulnerability. If you said someone was vulnerable, and in your in your language, too, can you tell me? What How do you see vulnerable? I couldn't necessarily find it. It was like narrow, but that shows weakness. vulnerable is not necessarily weakness. It's

00:39:41--> 00:39:59

like just open. Do you have a word? I don't know. Maybe you could look it up online next time we talk. Is there a word is? Is it just speak Indonesian? Is there a word for vulnerability? No, right. And these are all these American New Age of words, authenticity.

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Do authenticity Hollis? He's authentic? He's not drama. I know. It's I know the opposite word.

00:40:09--> 00:40:29

Yeah, like drama bazi. And the opposite of that is authentic. Okay, no problem. So for everyone who's so someone's trying, people are trying online, some people are trying online. We're going to conclude here friends with the simplest of concept. How many people online in life have heard my other half?

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I've heard that phrase, right.

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The problem that I have with this phrase, and I hope that you can leave on Valentine's with this. As soon as I say my other half, I'm accepting I'm not complete by myself. And I need you to love me to feel important.

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But if you could today and every married couple, and this my conclusion guys can really come to this part, become whole, not become perfect, but become whole. And the way to understand this how many people have prayed for light? One of the doors we did with robina Atomium Lana neurona. Allah give me like, Can someone give me

00:41:14--> 00:41:15

Can someone give me

00:41:17--> 00:41:20

the opposite if there is light in brother are sharp,

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then there is by de facto, scientifically speaking, where there is light there is has to be darkness, right? The process of accepting your light and loving your darkness is the process of becoming cold. So I know this might be difficult in this room. But I thought that I would do it this as a means of showing vulnerability. So I understand this might backfire. But I'm ready.

00:41:51--> 00:42:39

as a means of vulnerability. I used to make a mistake in my life. I used to smoke hookah a lot in my younger years college years and it kind of like it maintained itself, not once, not twice, not five years, 15 years. And it became a part of my life. Now, of course I was given clipboards and lectures and talking but what did I do to that part of my life? I hit it. And I made sure no one and I did it in such a way. Now I understand we should all do things in private that are private to us. But when we keep secrets, we don't love ourselves. So do I know I'm not telling you to go smoke anything? I am saying though, if I do such a thing? Should I do it? And say yeah, it's a bad habit. I'm working

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on it. But the hiding part makes us dislike ourselves. so humble, awesome. Alhamdulillah. I say this to you so that I can share vulnerabilities, my mistakes. You can say, ah, he did that mistake. I do this mistake, but by owning our mistake, I'm hope. I'll go a little bit further. How many of us know okay, if you don't know, I know 50 brothers who have an addiction to pornography and what's the first? What's the first advice someone gets the worst advice worst? What's the first advice they're given?

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Try it if you were an uncle in the mustard, and someone said Geeta is watching these dirty dirty things. What would you tell him to do?

00:43:25--> 00:43:26

Get married.

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That's that's the regular advice. You think you use it? Right? So does that guy need to get married? Is the porn addiction a lack of sex? Not at all. It's an emptiness on the inside. It's a feeling of abandonment. I'm abandoned and left alone. I'm not talking about the person who saw something haram once or twice. I'm talking about the avid watcher. When they watch they are not hold. So what I would love to continue on beating Allahu Donna Jawad Good one. That was a good one, job. Han is here as well. You had a lot of people say too fast. Unfortunately, a lot. A lot of people say get married, and it's the horrible, horrible. That's not how you deal with it. So here's my exact point.

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Should the smoker and the drinker get married so his problems can get fixed? Or should he fix himself and then find somebody else who maybe a girl didn't think she was pretty thought she was fat had self confidence issues?

00:44:33--> 00:44:46

What are other issues that girls have whatever the issues are, and she completed herself. Now the whole you met the whole hurt. Now when you are together, I'm going to conclude on this spot here.

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On Valentine's Day, we talk about sexuality a lot. Are you going to hit it if I hit it once or twice. If I hit it three times. I'm going to make her my wife. That's a line from a song

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Unfortunately, that's disgusting. But this act of intimacy, if you could get into your imagine for a second,

00:45:09--> 00:45:50

the whole male joins the whole female, full human meets fully human. And you are we're adults, you're connected. Why is that such a powerful time? Why? Because two souls are allowed to touch each other. Don't you think a lot should be have a say when that thing happens. So we set seven fluids and and shop live dirty, dirty. Leave all of that to the side. Because when you go to the one you love, your whole and she is whole. And when you unite,

00:45:52--> 00:46:17

you get to touch each other's completeness. And I know you've all heard it but just not have you heard the concept that we're all connected our so when I say a lot of Muslim yanase dinar Mohammed Wanda is Why do you say that? Why that Almighty say you know, I believe that I am connected to this physical bodies this restraining, but I believe that my I'm connected to you.

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And if you put yourself in that mindset, I hope that we can leave today at 905 or 903, or whatever the time is saying, Oh Allah make me hold. And all along make my spouse whole. Now the only caveat that I will leave tonight, please don't go home and try to give this lecture to your life. Or you have to become whole if it becomes too much. It has to come at the right time. So you start building yourself, it might not happen in a day. But we have a month before the next erotic transformation. In this next month. Can you make an intention to communicate with your spouse, talk to your spouse? And if it doesn't go well? Take notes write down Hey, I asked her this question. She didn't like it.

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Work on your marriage. And I will conclude and leave on the last thing. I don't think anyone in this room actively dated to get married. I didn't if I didn't use it, right. Mostly it was somewhat of an arranged marriage to most consent, right? So help me understand simple logic YouTubers, Facebook. I never had a girlfriend. I never got married. I don't know anything about how to treat a woman. first marriage gonna be perfect. I'm not gonna work a day in my life on it. I'm not going to read any books. And I'm going to be the best. Is that fair? That's not fair. Come on. I mean, these other people date six times, have several partners have are in a long term living together relationship.

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That's not good either. But those people you can say yeah, their heart has been broken.

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Muslims need to enter into the relationship and say what job I'm gonna live with Athena Mama. Gianna means with some effort, make them what the P and me their email. I conclude here and I'd like to point out four books, Charla that helped me place. Most of today together. It's about 800 pages of reading. So I know it's a lot. The first author if you'd like to jot it down is Bernie Brown. Bernie Brown has four books. The first book is the gifts of imperfection, daring greatly. A book about vulnerability and her last book, which I just finished yesterday, which is braving the wilderness.

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With that being said, I encourage all of you to take a look at the four books, and you can find them at Bernie brown.com the entire curriculum is there. And one more book for everybody because today, today Valentine's Day is celebrating what what four letter word?

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Love. Spell it backwards. It says evil. No, it doesn't. Okay. Love is misinterpreted to most people as a noun. I love you. You love me. And it's a noun. It's a thing. And now I can't love anybody else because I love you. And that's it. Love is locked up. If you can take one thing away from a single book, which was written by Barbara Fredrickson called Love 2.0. You're the only couple here if you read this book. Not only do you love each other now, but you will love each other so much more. Because the book starts by defining love as a verb. Love cannot be owned by can be experienced. When I look at my kid, and I say amen. Good, good job at the gym. He said thanks, Papa for taking me to

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the gym. Slow. Is it a noun?

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Now can my son not go love anybody else? No, it's a verb. So I could say, Oh, the day we put the TV up, I felt close to you. I felt like I'm not gonna call it love. But I was like, Oh, we did something for the month. Did you feel that? It's a verb you feel love? My only request. Thank you so much. Oh, I'm really, really, yeah, Bert braving the wilderness. July that will give you an exact name. But for those of us who would like to conclude, we have one month to write out our blogs, braving the wilderness is the name of the book, we have one month to write out our two hours, go home. If you want to do it in English, you can do it in English. If you want to look in the Quran

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and write it you can. Next month when we get together for this class, we're going to bring our laws together, show we show each other and then we're going to start. So I encourage the brothers whether it's $147,000 in house mortgage, asked a lot of paid off. Whether it's miscommunication, whether your kids don't eat their vegetables, whatever it is, speak it on top and see where that takes you. And and I will only conclude with the quote of Isaiah about the Allahu taala.

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If I remember who is saying this, if your shoelace breaks, pray to Allah for a new shoelace. That's the whole sentence. But when she says it, it changes the whole game. When your shoelace breaks.

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I should then go and buy the shoelace and do the things. But I'm

00:51:35--> 00:51:43

encouraging you to pray for the shoelace. How many people will have breakfast tomorrow morning. But some people don't. What will you eat for breakfast?

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Okay, tomorrow morning when you make the oatmeal and it's done it on the table say oh well Ah, I wish I had and then when the first bite is about to go to your mouth, oh, well, I would really be happy if I had, you know, in my mouth. Pray for the stuff that's right in front of you and be like, Ah ha ha ha. And if my is all Hocus Pocus, you won't feel a rush of excitement. But tomorrow you'll be looking at the oatmeal. You might even laugh, but then you'll put it in your mouth and you'll say he does hear me all the time. Because Do you need to does Allah subhanaw taala hear us all the time?

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Did that need to be proven to you? Yeah, so prove it. What are you gonna have for breakfast?

00:52:23--> 00:52:26

Or do you ever sir? What's your

00:52:28--> 00:52:29

chocolate your

00:52:31--> 00:52:34

tears? I'm a frosty curious guy. I like hunting Nigeria's as well.

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When you put the first bite in, say Bismillah Oh Allah, I would really like a bowl of Cheerios, because you're putting yourself in a scenario where you're like, Oh, I already got it. And then when it comes to the chance where you need your debt $31,800 and you say you're a lot. I need $31,800 you won't be surprised when some refund check or some old property gets sold them your money comes to you. So allow the possibility to come to your head. I think it will do a lot. I will conclude here by introducing the last book. So for the last year and a half we have been taught ethics year we have been talking about a book called no more Mr. Nice Guy and I'm very sorry for taking your extra

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time. No more Mr. Nice Guy is a book about masculinity. And I would like to start a no more Mr. Nice Guy book reading here. Brothers. Would you not accept that masculinity? Being a man is now looked down upon everything that being a man is loud, strong, assertive. It's kind of negative. Do you feel that way? I feel that way. A lot. Um, yeah, I feel that way. I don't want to go into shaming. But if a woman comes wearing barely no clothes and stands in front of me, I'm the I'm the animal for looking.

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It's I'm sorry, maybe you are coming to that realization. There are certain parts of being a man and this book no more Mr. Nice Guy. It's a rougher name. It takes us through the process of accepting our masculinity. So be is an ally to Allah at another time with another group of brothers. So if you see me with a group of brothers sitting, we're not going to televise it because it's more of an intimate setting. Please come Feel free to come sit down with us.

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Thank you very much. He says. Please feel free to come. I will only give you some quick tips. The nice guy syndrome are all those men who have been raised by women learning to say yes, taught by women up until high school. And then when they got out into the world being a man of all costs, calm down, calm down. It was shunned upon. Then you got married and basically you became a you you lived off the approval of another woman. You're

00:55:00--> 00:55:07

spouse. So it's all about being a man being in love with what you are and learning to, to live with that.

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I mean, okay friends that is it online does aka Plato does that robina have Lennar mean as wodgina was a reality now kurata are you

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looking at your mama one hour on the dock next time we'll try to keep it maybe shorter for everyone at home please take some time to write out the law. Watch this anytime you need to. And the final conclusion and funnily Robbie, a great time management book is the miracle of self discipline by Brian Tracy. The miracle of self discipline by buying Tracy fugly amazing and then I'll also send you a YouTube clip.

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Sister Layla is asking for dwis we're making to offer her desire and everyone thank you very much if you love Allah, Allah just a little bit more. Let me get a thumbs up or a heart. If you love a lot of Thailand more aware. Just give me a quick thumbs up. Hannah, thank you for coming through exactly affair and Silvia Praveen and family. Thank you everyone for coming through all my karate revolution students. Thank you for coming by. And everyone who joins us every week. Thank you so much Richard, thank you for coming through Richard Kevin and sister ghoul Assalamu alaykum.

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warahmatullahi wabarakatuh inshallah, take care and be well friends for Salaam Alaikum warahmatullahi wabarakatuh